Work Text:
“C’mon Kris, lighten up! I know it's hot, but don’t worry! It’ll be fun!”
Noelle extended her hand to me. She was right, maybe it would be fun. We were planning on meeting up with Susie and Berdly to go to lunch and then a movie.
I was surprised Susie agreed, especially since she didn’t typically enjoy the type of “getting lunch” hangouts, but whatever. I took her hand, her fur feeling soft against my fingertips.
I hated summer. Everything about it. The heat, the long break from school, (considering I didn’t do much originally), the weird expectation to swim, short sleeve shirts…I just hated all of it. But I was being invited and well…my mom said I needed to get out more so whatever.
We took the walk down to QC’s diner, where Susie was already waiting. Berdly was nowhere to be seen. Noelle seemed to notice as well.
“Huh? Where's Berdly?”
Susie lit up as she spotted Noelle.
“Nugget boy couldn’t make it. Said he had “more pressing matters to attend to” or whatever.”
I was a little disappointed that Berdly wasn’t gonna be there. Whenever I hung out with just Susie and Noelle, they’d practically overlook me the whole time like they were on a date or something. I didn’t mind all that much, but it got old after a while. It was nicer when Berdly was there to keep me company, no matter how…absolutely insufferable he was.
We made our way into the diner. I trailed a bit behind the other two, tying my hair up into a ponytail. It was the least I could do, considering I was sweating my ass off and well…I couldn’t take my sweater off in front of them.
“Kris, whaddya want?”
Susie nudged my shoulder a bit. I gazed up at the menu, before motioning to just a simple sandwich and drink. I wasn’t all that hungry.
After Susie ordered, we found a table near the back. There was a slight tense silence while we waited for our food. If Berdly were here, he would’ve filled that silence. Instead, Noelle just stared at Susie while the latter scratched her name into the table with her claws.
I watched Noelle’s gaze, the way she was practically staring with hearts in her eyes at Susie. I felt a slight pang of jealousy. I’m not really sure why.
Our order got called out, and I went to grab the food. I could hear the two starting to talk, another little pang of jealousy rising in my throat. Suddenly they had so much to talk about now that I was gone.
They were both too cowardly to hang out by themselves, though.
I shook the thought away. I wasn’t gonna let my stupid jealousy ruin the fun hangout.
I took the tray back to the table, a small smile on my face. They both smiled back at me, and I was put a bit to peace as they kept talking. I liked listening more than talking, anyway.
“Ms. Alphys said she was pushing the test back another week, so we can maybe plan a study session!”
“Oh sweet! Good cause uh…heh…I got no idea what the test is on..”
“You…don’t?”
“Nah.”
“....Ok…well…um…m-maybe you could come over and…uh…we could…study a bit…together…”
“Hell yeah! How about it Kris?”
I didn’t expect to be roped into the conversation. Noelle clearly didn’t expect me to be either. It was obvious she just wanted Susie to come over and not me. I just shrugged, staring down at my cup of apple juice.
“C’mon man, you don’t wanna fail!”
I shrugged again, mumbling around a mouthful.
“Think I’m goin’ outta town soon…”
Susie hummed, though lucky for me she was pretty oblivious. Unfortunate for Noelle, however.
I really did want to study with them. With Susie, anyway. Sure we hung out plenty of times before then, but seeing Noelle start to become closer to her only after I did made me feel strangely possessive.
After a while, we finished our lunch. Susie ate the tray too.
The movie was starting soon, so we made our way over to the theater. It was kinda empty, but then again it was a Wednesday afternoon.
Susie of course bought a huge bucket of popcorn, saying it was to share, knowing damn well she was planning on eating half of the bucket herself.
I sat next to Susie, and Noelle sat on the other side of her. I gritted my teeth, but said nothing. Of course Susie could have more than one friend. I was glad she was happy. And Noelle too.
But I couldn’t shake that irritation from my brain. Whatever.
The movie started, some action movie that me and Susie had wanted to see. Noelle didn’t seem too interested in the movie, and I could see her subtly shifting every now and then, trying to “accidentally” brush Susie’s claw with her hand while reaching for popcorn. Maybe I was watching her too intently, because I had no clue what was going on when I focused back on the movie.
It only got worse.
Susie and Noelle were whispering the whole time, laughing and joking with each other, and I felt that same jealousy and anger rising in my chest. If they wanted to be alone so badly, why did they invite me in the first place? I wasn’t even watching the movie anymore, just staring down.
And then, Susie grabbed Noelle’s hand. Both of their faces went red, even in the darkness I could practically feel the heat radiating off of them.
I stood up. It was one of the good parts, but I didn’t care.
“Huh? Kris where are you going? It’s getting good!”
I rolled my eyes under my bangs. Noelle probably had no idea the movie was “getting good”, only because Susie said so. I balled my hands into fists, muttering
“Bathroom.”
I was already halfway into the aisle when I told them. I headed out of the theater, tears of frustration already stinging my eyes.
This was stupid. I was having a tantrum over something that didn’t even matter. I was so fucking selfish. Susie was happy without me. I never even had a chance.
I pushed my way into the bathroom that was luckily empty, rolling up my sleeves and running water over my hands. I sniffled, glancing at myself in the mirror. I looked gross. I felt gross. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like tugging my hair out or reopening my scars or…anything.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, my lip trembling as I forced myself to stop crying.
Stupid. I should just go home.
So that's what I did. I didn’t bother to say goodbye before leaving the theater, tears rolling down my face as I walked. For some reason everybody was out at this time, so I kept my head low. The sun was setting, so luckily it was getting cooler. The heat would’ve infuriated me even more.
Once I got home, I noticed Toriel’s car was already there. I hoped she wouldn’t notice my mood. I headed inside, sniffling again and wiping my face.
“Ah, welcome home! I’m working on dinner, would you like some?”
I shook my head, feeling a little guilty for refusing.
“Oh, alright! I’ll be downstairs if you need anything then! Love you hun!”
I didn’t say it back. I couldn’t speak anyway or I’d start crying again. I felt so stupid. Did I really think Susie would like me? Did I really think anyone would like me?
I pulled off my sweater, letting my hair down and just crawling into bed. I’ll sleep off whatever this horrible feeling was. I sniffled again, staring at Asriel’s side of the room. His trophies…awards…letters and drawings from Dess and his other friends…
I started crying again.