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group chat: the family show
willthewise: okay sound off
willthewise: I need bbq rsvps before my mom starts tracking people to their homes
willthewise: please help
bobbinruckley: out of love for joyce I will confirm that me and nance will be there with what I genuinely think is every drink Costco sells
yesihaveguns: preparedness
theheart: Jon will argyle be back in town in time
theheart: I miss him
byebyebyers: yes
byebyebyers: and no he won't sell you weed
madmax changed the heart's nickname to oof
oof: one day you'll have to answer for your actions and God may not be so merciful
steeb locked nickname changes
steeb: play nice children
steeb: also will I've been baking all week I'll be there
steeb: oh btw I meant to ask. can i bring my boyfriend?
bobbinruckley: fucking what now
dustintime: STEVE?!?!
steeb: well if you're gonna be WEIRD then maybe I won't
madmax: nope the door's open. bring him or we Find Him.
group chat: adults only (we card)
bobbinruckley: STEVE
bobbinruckley: STEVE
bobbinruckley: STEVEN HAIR HARRINGTON
steeb: not my name.
bobbinruckley: ASK IF I GAF
bobbinruckley: BOYFRIEND?!?!
steeb: it's new
yesihaveguns: we're very happy for you Steve! since when?
steeb: december
bobbinruckley: bitch don't pmo it's june
yesihaveguns: do we get a name?
steeb: not until robin calms down
bobbinruckley: OH BUDDY-
yesihaveguns: babe why are we yelling
byebyebyers: Imao Steve I thought the creature from the black lagoon fucked you up beyond repair
bobbinruckley: ^^^^
bobbinruckley: i thought you were SAD and LONELY but no. 6 MONTHS
steeb: is this what the kids call a hard launch?
bobbinruckley: one eye open.
group chat: family show
bobbinruckley: okay kids yell at your mother for me. get him to give up a name
dustintime: steveeeeeee tell us
dustintime: who is this guy
madmax: is he prepared to be a proper stepfather for us
steeb: his name is eddie and if you go facebook stalking that's all the information you're getting
thecutiestpie: wait
thecutiestpie: steve
oof: if you're dating our dm i'm gonna go on a grippy sock vacation
madmax: STEVE ARE YOU DATING MY NEIGHBOR
steeb: hang on
steeb: okay yeah
steeb: so. somehow we never put that together
dustintime: AHEHWJWKWKQNQN?!?!
bobbinruckley: max do you have his number
bobbinruckley: add him here
steeb: do NOT I need him locked in on ME before he sees this
bobbinruckley: these are lies. it's been 6 months
madmax added thefreak
thefreak: what. is happening.
madmax: hi Eddie!!
bobbinruckley: hello young man
bobbinruckley: what are your intentions
steeb: rob I swear
steeb: honey ignore her
bobbinruckley: that would not be wise
thefreak: sorry babe l'm gonna listen to her she scares me a little
bobbinruckley: smart. i like him.
dustintime: HI EDDIE!!
thefreak: hi kiddo!
dustintime: robin this is my best friend be nice to him
steeb: I thought i was your best friend wtf?
thefreak: wait how do you guys know each other
thecutiestpie: Steve helped us with some stuff a couple years ago and then just never left
thecutiestpie: i think we were his only friends there for a while
steeb: lucas you're supposed to be the nice one
oof: i think the real question is how Steve got someone this much cooler than him
oof: eddie i believed in you
dustintime: do not blow this for me.
madmax: oh btw @ the freak i am inside your home don’t scream
thefreak: that was one time and you jimmied my door at 2am
madmax: i needed sprinkles
yesihaveguns: omg you guys already have shared custody of the kids this is so cute!
steeb: max likes him better i think
madmax: you are correct
steeb: he hasn't met el and will yet tho so I'm still ahead in the ratings!
bobbinruckley: @ dustintime and @ madmax give me his socials I still need to Investigate This Man
steeb: robin why
amERICA: eddie for context the last guy steve dated was the devil from the Bible so now Robin vets his dates like the fucking navy
steeb: cursing!
amERICA: shut
yesihaveguns: Hon we do NOT mention ***** here
yesihaveguns: eddie if you aren't hiding another boyfriend one town over and a minor criminal empire you should be fine!!
thefreak: cheers I'm against that for sure
group chat: adults only (we card)
bobbinruckley added thefreak
bobbinruckley: okay I have threats to make that the children don't need to see
steeb: robin please
byebyebyers: no I wanna see this actually.
thefreak: maam I'm a drug dealer in small town Indiana. with respect there's nothing you can threaten me with that I haven't heard before
yesihaveguns: wait why is that so cute
yesihaveguns: Steve I like this one
steeb: you get away with that because you're gay. anyone else I'd bite jsyk
thefreak: Hon I just finished lecturing max about not biting our friends not you too please
yesihaveguns: sir you're my best friend now you don't get a say in this
bobbinruckley: ANYWAY
bobbinruckley: you underestimate me
bobbinruckley: I have rusty tools that I'm not afraid to use on your genitals
bobbinruckley: and I have definitely gotten away with it before
steeb: ROBIN
steeb: ignore her
thefreak: aye aye chief
thefreak: robin not you baby. sorry she scares me
bobbinruckley: correct
byebyebyers: okay question. did you give this treatment to That Guy too
bobbinruckley: that's classified
thefreak: why do you guys censor the name was it that bad
yesihaveguns: ohohoho
thefreak: altho tbh even if you gave me a name l probably wouldn't know who you were talking about. all the jocks blended together in my mind
yesihaveguns sent a voice memo: 15.02 sec
thefreak: yep couldn't pick him out of a lineup
bobbinruckley: okay that's funny as fuck actually. you can live
dustintime added thefreak and madmax to the chat
dustintime named the chat eddie's favorite kids
thefreak: oh goodie another group chat
madmax: we have questions
thefreak: gonna have to start calling you curious george
dustintime: why?
thefreak: | rest my case
madmax: gonna need you to explain yourself
madmax: how did this happen. ever since I've known you you've thought preppy cool guys were "bottom feeder conformists who would struggle to add 0 + 0
thefreak: alright in my defense I said that about andy and I was right
dustintime: we just wanna make sure you aren't playing with Steve!
dustintime: none of us thought he'd date again after last time and if you mess him up he might be single for life and have to live in my basement!
thefreak: did he date the actual joker or something
madmax: no the joker is occasionally fun
dustintime: .....you're remembering the trivia night incident too huh?
madmax: I've seen So Much and I'm NEVER getting over the trivia night incident Dustin
thefreak: how many incidents were there
madmax: we lost count
dustintime: do you want those chronologically or alphabetically?