Work Text:
Charlie Kirk: "--Counting, or not counting gang violence?"
Below, a specific politic figure spoke. He held his script on a piece of paper, as he watched the crowd below from the podium. Fake Ze and some other people cheered for Charlie Kirk, probably just glazing him and agreeing with everything he says.
Fake Ze: "WE ARE CHARLIE KIRK!!! WE CARRY THE FLAME, WE FIGHT FOR CHARLIE, WE'LL HONOR HIS NAME!!"
On the rooftop nearby
Ze held his rifle steadily, ambling towards Charlie's neck. Regect and Moe watched from behind, anticipating the shot silently.
Ze: "I fucking hate that guy.."
Ze muttered under his breath, referring to both Fake Ze and Charlie Kirk. Fake Ze chanted Charlie's named loudly, even holding up a flag of Charlie's fursona. Ze's eyes twitched in annoyance, his eyes almost darting away from the target. Moe walked closer and pointed towards Charlie Kirk, which caught the other two's attention.
Moe: Honk! Honk, honk honk honk honk honk honk! Honk!!
Moe honked urgently. There, Charlie Kirk stood still, being completely engulfed in the relentless compliments by glazers. Ze quickly got back on trcack, while Moe and Regect silently hoped that Ze wouldn't miss this time.
Ze: "Oh—okay, got it, Moe. I just gotta move a little to the left, and..."
Ze pulled the trigger.
"We love you, Charlie!" "We made fanart of you!" "I have a body pillow of you!"
Cheers wailed out from the crowd. Charlie Kirk continued after receiving the input.
Suddenly---
A sharp pain seared through his body as he felt something lodged into his neck deep. Everyone fell silent, watching as blood trickle down his neck.
Everyone suddenly exploded, panicking and running away. Charlie fell onto the podium, his life being taken away as he watched his so called 'devoted fans' did nothing to help, running after another.
Fake Ze: "Oh, shiitt. I guess I still have Daemon though."
Regect: "YEAH!!! WE DID IT, GUYS! Everyone, I feel a song coming on! Hit it, Moe!!"
Ze: "We left that trend two fucking years ago, Regect."
Moe: HOOONK!! Honk. honk honk honk honk!! HONK!!
Everyone on the rooftop turned their head to Moe, as they both watched her wave and point frantically to the ground below, where Charlie was once standing. Familiar blue and red lights flashed as vehicles rushed over to the corpse of Charlie. Multiple people were attempting CPR and trying to resurrect him.
Regect: "Dude, did we just unlock bisexual lighting?"
Ze: "NO, REGECT! THOSE ARE AMBULANCES AND POLICE CARS! WE HAVE TO SURRENDER! Also, how the fuck did you do that to your text."
Regect: "what text"
Moe: HOOOOONK!!
Ze: "Y-yeah, just a second, Moe! I'm just trying to get SOMEONE off their LAZY FUCKING ASS!"
Moe facepalmed. Regect sighed and stood up. Swiftly, Moe swung the doors open nearby, which lead to a flight of stairs. They would have to survive the swarm of the incoming police officers and evacuate. If they didn't take the chance now, they'd probably get a life sentence.
As the three evacuated the rooftop, Ze suddenly slipped on a banana peel while holding his rifle to hide the evidence. The rifle fell to the floor with a heavy 'clank', and that alerted nearby people. The three watched in horror as the nearby elevator of the apartment started rising from 1, to 5, to the rooftop.
If they didn't run, then they'd get killed.
Regect: " Okay, uh, I guess we gotta run."
Moe: Honk!
Without a glance or a warning, they took off, leaving Ze behind. Before Ze even had time to process everything, Ze yelled from behind.
Ze: "MOE!! REGECT!!!! HELP ME!! I- UH, REGECT! I'LL GET YOU ENA DREAM BBQ CHAPTER 2! A-AND MOE, I'LL GIVE YOU 5 WATER TANKS IF YOU JUST HELP ME!!"
...And they ran away. Ze forced himself to get up, before looking for the nearest exit.
If he followed behind Moe and Regect, he wouldn't be able to catch up and he'd be arrested. If he used the elevator, it would take a long, long time. So that meant he had to...
He spotted a window. Without any hesitation, he rushed towards the nearest window and broke the glass. It was a lot more fragile than expected.
He dived into the window, plunging into his doom.
Ze woke up, in a strange place. He was laying in the green grass. Was he in heaven? Nah, bold of you to assume he would go to heaven.
Sunlight blinded him, which caused him to shield his eyes from the rays of the sun.
" What- what the fuck. Am I in- Is this- "
He spoke to himself for no reason at all. Suddenly, a voice came from somewhere, which sounded familiar. He sat up, noticing the lack of his friends and his weapons. He looked up, to see a hand extended towards him. It was a man in a white shirt with dark green pants. Wait, was that fucking Peter Griffin. Behind him was an anime girl with cyan pigtails and a specific jester and a purple rabbit.
" Welcome to Fortnite, Ze. "
Regect and Moe ran down the hallways, the thought of an escape only in their minds and not Ze. Then, they spotted an escape. Without hesitation, Moe impulsively swung it open, to reveal a bumch of officers in the way.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkk.
Before they knew it, they were both sitting on a chair, their arms strapped to armrests.
They're on the fucking electric chair.
Regect: "...Fuuuuuckk..."
Moe: Honk! Honk, honk, honk honk honk honk honk honk?!
Regect: "No, I- I seriously don't! Actually, I think we're on-"
ZAPPZZ--
Electric shockwaves surged through their bodies, and they heard cheers. Riiight. They had expected to get arrested instead, but maybe Charlie Kirk's death was so impactful they got an execution.
After their death, the two were hung and then cremated. The audience cheered, throwing their pitchforks and torches.
GASP.
Ze woke up in a cold sweat, instantly shooting up. He expected to wake up in either that strange world claimed as 'Fortnite', or the rooftop he assassinated Charlie on. He was lying in his bed, devoid of the injuries he had.
He let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing but still shaking.
Thank god it was all a dream.