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•••Back to the Past, some time before the Land of Waves Mission•••
Hiruzen wasn’t quite sure what to expect when he summoned Team Seven’s sensei a few weeks after the team had officially formed.
Before Team Seven, Kakashi Hatake had built a very distinct reputation, he had never passed a single genin team.
Thus, Hiruzen had been more than a little surprised when Kakashi accepted one.
In fact, Hiruzen had already begun preparing to have the team assigned to a different jonin.
Kakashi had, of course, been the first choice. But, truth be told, the sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre and the jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails were far too politically and strategically valuable to the village for them to be held back and or left without a sensei.
So, yes, Hiruzen had little idea what to expect when he called Kakashi in for a meeting.
He’d expected complaints about arrogance. About discipline. Perhaps even about how thoroughly unimpressed Noelle Uzumaki seemed to be with the world around her.
Because one thing Hiruzen had learned during his daily check-ins with the girl was that she cared for very little.
Specialty foods, toys, books, clothing, herbs…nothing seemed to interest her enough to give him an opening.
He was not foolish enough to believe that the years he’d spent seeing Noelle had made him one of her special people.
She had seen through every carefully chosen gift.
Every soft smile.
Every act of kindness.
More often than not, all he’d received in return for his effort was a blank stare.
Occasionally, the girl would slip, and her expression would twist into something bordering on a sneer before she caught herself and blinked it away.
And, judging by his ANBU’s reports, the girl wasn’t much different even around the one person she had chosen for herself.
Still blank and seemingly uncaring.
She granted the boy, Rock Lee, the occasional rare smile and taught him her secrets.
And the boy, like a man discovering religion, became utterly devoted to the one he considered his savior.
The poor, naive child seemed to devour every rare smile, every halfhearted compliment, every unnatural lesson, like a starving man receiving a meal.
A part of Hiruzen felt sorry for the boy. He still had no idea what Noelle’s intentions were towards him, but the girl was talented enough that she could have the boy at her beck and call if she so wished.
So Hiruzen had expected to hear about how callous the girl was.
He expected to have to laugh and wave it off as simply that being the way she was.
Instead, he met with a very confused jonin.
“Noelle isn’t unkind in the usual sense, but shouldn’t be mistaken for kindness, my lord.” Kakashi began thoughtfully. “She seems either unable or unwilling to allow herself to like, much less love, unconditionally. That, in and of itself, is a little concerning.”
Kakashi’s eye drifted from the man’s face to the desk.
“I’m honestly not sure what will happen when she is inevitably betrayed.”
Kakashi paused briefly before continuing.
“As for her teammates, I don’t believe she poses any outright risk to them. She doesn’t seem to hold any malice towards them. In fact…” Kakashi let out a small amused breath. “I don’t think she cares very much about them at all.”
“She’s a bit like a wasp, or maybe a hornet. Leave her alone, and she’ll leave you alone.
But she doesn’t care, and I’d go so far as to say, she seems almost uncomfortable when her teammates attempt to defend her.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she views them as children, while seeing herself as older, despite both being the youngest and smallest.”
Kakashi sighed.
“Sometimes it honestly feels like she believes herself to be more mature than even I am.”
Hirzuen stared at the silver-haired man jonin.
“Kakashi, does the girl care or not?”
Kakashi was silent for several seconds.
“…She has the tendencies of a very strictly professional, estranged grandmother.”
“Go on…” Hiruzen pushed, no small amount of confusion painting his voice.
“She doesn’t actually say much, and I’m not entirely sure she even realizes she’s doing it, but there have been a few occasions where one of her teammates does something that annoys her. She just…stares at us, at them, with disapproval.
Sakura has been participating in the recent diet culture trend. Anytime she mentions skipping a meal, Noelle will just look at her with something bordering on complete disgust.”
Kakashi pauses.
“She doesn’t say a word.
She just stares…and it feels like the deepest parts of your soul are being judged…”
Hirzuen’s eyebrows slowly knit together.
“Kakashi…that is an oddly specific description…”
Kakashi’s eye drifted back to the man’s face.
“…she watches me while I read…” he says softly. “I can feel both her and her chicken judging me from thirty feet away.”
The elder hummed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
“And how goes the confirmation that Noelle was the shinobi of the forest? The one who took down the traitor Mizuki.”
Kakashi sighed softly before shaking his head in defeat.
The elder man nodded solemnly.
•••Even Further into the Past with Noelle-ish pov•••
Clone Noelle watched from within the Mirror Seal as her creator turned and left to rejoin Lee in the celebration of her graduation.
Clone Noelle immediately got to work, running through the village in search of Mizuki.
Only to come to the quick and very important realization.
Her creator was a complete idiot.
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND ONE PERSON WHEN HE COULD LITERALLY BE ANY-FUCKING-WHERE?!
With, quite literally, no other choice, Clone Noelle created more clones to widen the search.
In all honesty, the entire plan was flimsy at best.
She was already just a shadow clone herself, making her weaker than the original.
Clones of a clone are even more weak, not to mention they drain their very limited chakra and stamina at an alarming rate.
Take into account that Noelle, while having a large amount of chakra, does not generally have a great amount of stamina.
Which leads to the next major problem:
Most of the nearly fifty clones managed to barely make it about a mile and a half before collapsing on the ground, panting as they fought to keep themselves from poofing out of existence.
It was, quite frankly, a pathetic sight.
Eventually, by some miracle, one of the Noelle clones managed to locate Mizuki…along with the child he manipulated.
How this kid even manage to steal the Scroll of Seals?
She hadn’t the faintest clue.
No offense to this kid, but there is quite literally nothing remarkable about him. He legit looks like he exists to fill an empty seat…
HOW FUCKING BAD IS THIS VILLAGE’S SECURITY THAT THEY LET A BACKGROUND EXTRA STEAL ONE OF THEIR MOST IMPORTANT SECRET ARTIFACTS?!
How would this white-haired guy sound anyway…?
…
“STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL!”
…
Ya…that sounded wrong even before it left my mouth.
“Hatake…?” The light-blue-haired man questioned.
“You’re under arrest.”
Both the unnamed background child and Mizuki blinked.
…
FUCK.
THAT WAS WAY TOO COP, NOT ENOUGH SHINOBI.
Noelle internally sobbed.
She pressed her lips…
Would they still be considered my lips if I’m currently a different person…
…and also a clone…?
…
She pressed her lips together, trying not to let out an audible groan.
She sounded like an idiot.
She knew she sounded like an idiot.
Without another word she quickly flicked a handful of explosive tags towards Mizuki, careful not to hit the boy.
Mizuki leapt aside before immediately charging at “Kakashi”.
Noelle had barely enough time to dodge a blow that would have one hundred percent resulted in her demise.
Well, my pop, still just a clone.
…
I THOUGHT KURAMA SAID THIS GUY WAS SOME LOW-LEVEL VILLAIN?!
She twisted to avoid another hit.
“He is.”
KURAMA?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??
“You’re a clone, I’m something of a clone myself.”
MOTHERFUCKER
…
DID YOU SEE-?
“Everything. I saw everything.”
…
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
…
“Like genuinely.”
Noelle slipped past a punch and used the opportunity to drive her knee upward.
“OOH! GOOD HIT, BRAT!” Kurama cheered.
The man staggered backwards with a hiss, both of his hands going up to clutch his bleeding nose.
Everything calmed for a brief moment.
Mizuki, hands still holding his injured nose, paused. His face slowly twisted in confusion.
“Something about you is different, Hatake...”
Noelle felt her heart plummet straight to her ass.
“I have a cold. Consider it your lucky day,-”
Kakashi’s eye curved in amusement.
“you’re still breathing.”
PLEASE BUY IT. PLEASE BUY IT. PLEASE BUY IT.
The man grinned.
“Then I won’t waste this opportunity. You’re weaker than usual. I’ll kill you, kill the boy, and take the scroll.”
This bitch psychotic.
Noelle sped through the now familiar hand signs-
“Shadow Clone Jutsu.”
Thank fuck these bitches came out already transformed.
Three more “Kakashi’s” burst into existence, Mizuki was surrounded.
Noelle relaxed her form.
“I said I had a cold.”
She tilted her head slightly, amusement coloring her tone.
“I’d need to be an inch from death before you could even think about leaving this forest.”
FUCK!
IS IT JUST ME, OR DID THAT SOUND COOL AS FUCK???
I CAME UP WITH THAT SHIT ON THE FLY!
•••
Mizuki had lost.
And, just to rub it in a little more, Noelle somehow managed to hog-tie the man before shoving a, slightly used, rag into his mouth.
Was Noelle trying not to pant too loudly? Yes.
She was exhausted, but the mere thought of aura loss was enough to make her suck it up.
Turning towards the boy, she quickly explained, still disguised as the silver-haired jonin, that he wasn't in much trouble, but he needed to go get a shinobi.
Mizuki needed to be arrested, after all.
“But…aren’t you a shinobi…?”
…
FUCK, MAN. CAN’T HAVE SHIT!
“…yes…”
“Then…can’t you…arrest him…?”
“…”
GOD DAMMIT.
“I’m…busy.” Noelle hissed.
The boy stared at her in utter disbelief.
“With…what?” He questioned, glancing around the clearing..
“Oh, my fucking god, can you just shut the fuck up and-“
“Kakashi! We're here as backup.”
Fortunately, the conversation with the boy was cut short as several Leaf Village shinobi burst into the forest, weapons already drawn.
Unfortunately, she now had the inevitable task of trying to play off being this “Kakashi” dude in front of people who apparently actually knew Kakashi.
She quickly recounted what had happened, trying her best to make her voice sound masculine without sounding cartoonishly masculine.
But she still had no idea how the silver-haired man actually sounded.
The shinobi present listened in silence, their eyes lingering on “Kakashi” for a moment too long for Noelle’s comfort.
Because that was Kakashi Hatake, or at least the person looked very similar to the silver-haired shinobi.
But the method used to restrain the criminal was…unusual.
And “Kakashi’s” mannerisms were off.
Even his voice was…different.
The shinobi exchanged uncertain glances at one another.
There was only one conclusion they could all silently agree on.
Whoever was currently standing in front of them, was not Kakashi Hatake.
“Sorry-“ ‘Kakashi’ cleared his throat. “I’ve come down with a bit of a cold.”
…
The shinobi exchanged another look, nodding slowly at one another.
Maybe it was Kakashi then.
No fucking wonder this background character stole an important scroll.
How the fuck isn’t this village dead.
