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Sam notices it the first time he and Bucky get dragged to the mall with Pepper, Wanda, and Natasha. He and Bucky hang back, holding things when the girls’ hands get too full. It takes Bucky one store to look at Sam and tell him that they are very obviously the designated bag holders. Sam laughs and sees Bucky smile and blush when he looks away again. But them being bag holders isn’t what Sam noticed.
What he noticed was the way Bucky looked at dresses. The way he’d slow down when they passed them, his eyes lingering on them. He’d seen him reach out and touch one when he thought no one was looking. Sam smiled to himself at the way Bucky ran his finger tips lightly over the lines of the fabric. He looked away after he saw Bucky smile at the lacey hem of the dress. He didn’t feel like he should be spying on him.
Then, a few months later, Pepper and Tony decided they were going to throw a 40’s themed party for Christmas. Everyone was assigned to different things, Steve and Thor were on food, Wanda and Clint were on decorations, Bruce and Tony were on venue duty, but somehow, Sam and Bucky had gotten dragged out shopping with Pepper and Nat again. Sam was getting suspicious, he really was.
“I’m finding it a little odd that we keep getting dragged along with you ladies.” Sam said as he held the door open for Nat, Pepper, and Bucky. Bucky smiled and nodded as he walked past him.
“Aww, we just love you.” Nat said over her shoulder as he linked her arm with Pepper’s.
“Yeah. And we always need a few good strong men with us, to carry all our things.” Pepper said with a laugh and a smile.
“So that’s why you never take Tony shopping with you huh Pepper?” Sam said with a smirk, Bucky snorted next to him and smiled at the floor as he shook his head. Nat barked a laugh and Pepper made a little sound and elbowed her.
“Very funny.” She said flatly, but smiled at Sam over her shoulder and then pulled Nat toward the back of the store to look for dresses. Pepper had found a dress shop that specialized in period clothing. Any period you wanted really. The store was huge, four floors of different era’s. Sam and Bucky followed the girls to the 40’s section and wandered around slowly, separately from them but close behind.
Sam had never seen Bucky’s eyes so big. They were jumping from dress to dress like his brain couldn’t even fathom how many were around him and needed to see them all as quickly as possible. His eyes finally stopped on a light blue swing dress. It had short sleeves and a collar leading down into a row of buttons, a small matching belt wrapped around the middle. The skirt hung in waves, the ends of the sleeves folded up slightly, rounding into soft edges.
Bucky walked over to it slowly, like he’d been hypnotized and couldn’t stop himself. Sam watched him reach out and touch the skirt. He closed his fingers over the fabric gently and pulled it out the side, then let go and watched it fall back into place, the fabric swaying. That small smile curved his lips again as Sam watched him. Sam bit his lip to stop himself from smiling and walked over slowly.
“It’s pretty.” He said, nodding to the dress. Bucky looked up at him quickly, his eyes wide, he looked a little scared. Sam hated that look on his face. His eyes traveled across Sam’s face quickly, clearly looking for something. When they didn’t find what they were looking for Bucky relaxed and looked back to the dress.
“Yeah. It is. I-“ he paused, glancing at Sam again.
“I always liked this color. Ya know…back then.” He said, gently moving his head to the side, like he was gesturing to back then like it was right behind them, his fingers gently moving down the front of the dress, his thumb swiping over one of the buttons.
“It’s a good color.” Sam said with a nod. He took a few steps back and then started walking away, toward where Pepper and Nat were holding up dresses and looking down at themselves. He turned on his heel and looked back at Bucky.
“It’d look good on you.” He said, still walking backwards. Bucky’s head spun in his direction so fast Sam was surprised he didn’t break something.
“The color I mean.” He said, giving Bucky a small smile and a knowing look. He saw Bucky swallow hard and nod, like he knew he was supposed to but wasn’t sure why he was actually nodding.
Sam turned around after Bucky dropped his gaze back to the dress. Then went and stood close to Pepper, holding his arms out for her to lay the few dresses she’d found on them. Bucky walked over a few minutes later and did the same for Nat. He kept glancing at Sam every now and then. Sam met his eyes and smiled.
~***~
The party went well. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Steve and Bucky looked fucking ridiculous, in the good way, and Sam wasn’t sure he’d ever seen them more relaxed in a big group of people. They looked happy, and comfortable, and at home, Sam was happy for them. He tried to coax Bucky to teach him how to swing dance, but he just blushed and shook his head, later asking how Sam had even known he knew how to do that. He’d rolled his eyes when Sam had told him Steve had said it rather loudly at the start of the party.
Sam was now sitting in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering how Bucky would react to the gift Sam had left on his bed. He tried reading the book on his night stand but he couldn’t focus. He’d tried scrolling through things on his phone but got bored. He was about shut his light off and just try laying in the dark when there was a knock at his door. It was a quiet knock. He almost didn’t hear it. He nearly jumped off the bed, his heart jumping into his chest as he reached the door. He swung the door open and saw Bucky standing there, the box Sam had left on his bed in his arms, and a conflicted look on his face.
He didn’t say anything, just stood there, his face moving from conflicted to scared and back again. Sam moved to the side and motioned for him to come in, holding his hand out beside him. Bucky walked past him quickly, ducking his head a little and keeping his eyes resolutely off of Sam. Sam closed the door and heard Bucky drop the box on the bed behind him. He turned around to see Bucky staring at him, his eyes looking scared again, his arms wrapped around himself tight. He opened and closed his mouth a few times and then he huffed, frustrated.
“Why?” he asked, looking away from Sam, his eyes dropping the floor. Sam hooked his thumbs in his pockets and took a few steps toward him.
“Like I said, it’d look good on you Buck.” He said quietly, looking at Bucky earnestly. He heard Bucky gulp from across the room. He looked back up at Sam, that scared look still on his face.
“Guys don’t wear dresses.” He said, his voice small, his fingers digging into his ribs so hard it had to be painful. Sam felt his heart break in his chest. He walked forward with determination, stopping directly in front of Bucky and looking at him silently for a minute before reaching out and cupping Bucky’s cheeks.
“Bucky Barnes. It’s 2016. And regardless of the year. I’m here to tell you. Guys can wear whatever the hell they want. Whatever makes them feel good. Makes them happy.” He said, nearly whispering as he soothed his thumbs over Bucky’s cheeks. He watched Bucky pull his lip between his teeth to stop it quivering. He took a deep shaky breath.
“But-“ he said and then stopped, apparently not able to say what he was thinking. Sam smiled at him, a little sadly, and moved his hands down to Bucky’s neck.
“Nobody else has to know Buck. It can be our little secret.” He said, actually whispering now. A tear fell over onto Bucky’s cheek and Sam wiped it away gently with his thumb before moving his hand back to Bucky’s neck.
“You- you won’t tell anyone?” he stammered, Sam thought he saw a small sliver of hope in his eyes.
“I will never tell another soul on this earth if you don’t want me too Buck. Never.” Sam said, giving Bucky’s neck a squeeze. Another tear fell and he took a deep shaky breath, his hands coming up to hold onto Sam’s wrists. He stood there, just staring at Sam for almost three minutes, then he nodded once and slipped out of Sam’s grasp. He picked up the box and walked into Sam’s bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Sam crossed his arms over his chest, stared at the door, and waited.
The door opened slowly, Bucky had turned the light off, Sam couldn’t see him. Sam stood staring into darkness for what felt like hours. He could hear Bucky breathing, the air leaving and filling his lungs in shallow shaky breaths. Sam took a breath himself and dropped his arms. And then Bucky took a step forward, into the light.
Sam felt like the air had been pulled from his lungs all at once. Bucky was literally breathtaking, the dress hugging against his skin in all the right places, the light blue fabric looking perfect on him. He shuffled forward a few more steps, his feet were bare, he’d taken his shoes and socks off. He looked incredibly nervous. And then Sam smiled at him. Bucky relaxed almost instantly, standing a bit taller and looking shyly at Sam. He lifted his hands from his sides a bit and then dropped them back down.
“Well?” he asked, biting his lip as he looked at Sam. Sam bit his own lip and walked forward.
“You look… I mean you’re…” he breathed, Bucky’s eyes widened, a little bit of that fear coming back. Sam took a deep breath and tried again.
“You- You’re fucking breathtaking Buck.” He said, Bucky’s cheeks colored a deep red and he looked at the ground.
“Really? I don’t- I don’t look stupid?” he asked, looking at Sam through his lashes. Sam scoffed and shook his head, taking another step forward and standing toe to toe with him.
“No. You look…fucking gorgeous.” He said and reached out, putting his finger under Bucky’s chin and lifting his head up so he could see his eyes.
“Honestly.” He said, moving his thumb slowly over Bucky’s bottom lip. Bucky’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open a little, his teeth showing through the space in his lips and giving Sam the urge to kiss him.
“You’re the most goddamn beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” He said, leaning forward and closing the space between. He kissed Bucky gently, just a soft press of lips against lips. He felt Bucky sigh into it and wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist and pulled him close.
“Now,” he said, pulling back and whispering into the small space between them, “I think it’s time you taught me how to dance.”
Bucky chuckled and leaned forward, resting his head against Sam’s and bringing his hands up to Sam’s shoulders slowly. Sam looked at him and watched a couple more tears fall, he wiped them away with his knuckles and pulled Bucky closer.
“It would be my pleasure.” Bucky whispered and then pushed forward and kissed Sam again. He pulled back and looked at him with a smile.
“But only if I get to lead.” He said with a smirk. Sam raised his eyebrows at him and then smirked back, tilting his head to the side and holding his hand out towards the empty space in the room.
“Lead away.”