Work Text:
Hyunjin smiles when Felix’s face fills his screen, still in bed and looking sleepily at the camera. Hyunjin forgot for a moment that it’s still early morning in Milan and hopes he was already awake when Hyunjin called.
“Good morning. How do you feel?” Hyunjin smiles. It’s hard to judge how Felix looks when he just woke up, whether the flushed cheeks are from sleep or something else.
“No better.” Felix says, voice hoarse. Yesterday, he complained to Hyunjin on the whole plane ride about how dry the air was. They both thought it was just the air; it wouldn’t be the first time the dry air of planes irritated Felix’s throat.
“Still your throat?” Hyunjin asks. He takes in Felix’s flushed cheeks, noting that it isn’t just on the side that is pressed against the pillow.
“Yeah. It hurts every time I swallow.” Felix demonstrates, and flinches when his throat moves. Hyunjin grimaces, Felix is too far away to be sick.
“Have you checked for a fever?” Hyunjin asks. Felix quickly shakes his head.
“I don’t have a fever.” He says. He pulls the duvet a little tighter around himself, as if it’s cold despite the heat in his face.
“But have you checked?” Hyunjin says. He’ll let it go if he really doesn’t have a fever, but he doesn’t trust Felix’s judgement. Felix sighs, rolling his eyes slightly before pushing himself out of bed. He moves slowly, and Hyunjin can’t help but smile at how soft he looks. His long hair is puffed out around his head, his face puffy and flushed.
Felix sets the phone down and roots through his bag, pulling out a thermometer and sticking it in his ear, waiting for the beep. He looks at the screen but doesn’t show the result to Hyunjin.
“It’s nothing.” Felix says, but there’s something in his voice.
“Show me then.” Hyunjin says. Felix always hides it when he’s sick. He has no problem talking about pain, but everything else that comes along with illness has to be pressed out of him. Felix scowls but holds up the thermometer.
“Thirty-eight is not nothing.” Hyunjin points out. He understands that Felix doesn’t want to be sick. He gets so clingy when he’s sick, and he’s on a trip all alone. There’s no one to cling to.
“It feels like nothing.” Felix insists, even as he sits on the floor and rests his chin on his knees, eyes closing.
“Yongbok.” Hyunjin says impatiently, making it clear that he sees right through the lie.
“Fine, I feel like shit,” Felix admits, cracking way easier than normal. “But it doesn’t change anything.” He adds. He still has to go to the event he traveled there for.
“I know, but you don’t have to pretend with me.” Hyunjin says softly. He doesn’t expect Felix not to push through the cold, it’s part of the job, but it’ll be a lot easier if Felix can complain to Hyunjin the whole time, like he did on the plane yesterday.
“You’re not here though.” Felix says quietly. Hyunjin wishes he was there, and sees no reason not to be. Recording and practice can wait, just like it’s waiting for Felix. He’s sure the members will understand.
“What hurts?” Hyunjin asks, while pulling out his iPad to look at flights. He doesn’t tell Felix what he’s doing, knowing that the younger will feel guilty and try to convince him not to come.
“Just my throat, but I’m tired and achy.” Felix says. When he lifts his face from his knees, the redness in his cheeks has calmed down slightly, but it’s still visible. His eyes don’t fully open, so Hyunjin takes mental note of a headache as well.
“I’m sorry.” Hyunjin wishes there was more he could do from here. He knows so well how to care for Felix when he’s sick, but he can’t do any of it from so far away. “I’m ordering room service.” He decides, since he can’t physically deliver the food to Felix.
“I don’t think you can do that from Korea.” Felix chuckles, and seems to regret it, grabbing his throat and grimacing. Hyunjin wants to be the one touching his throat, gently cradling it as if he can soothe it from the outside.
“You do it then, you have to eat.” Hyunjin says. This is exactly why he doesn’t want Felix to be alone when he’s sick, he’s so bad at taking care of himself. He thinks that it doesn’t matter when he feels bad anyway, and that he’s allowed to not care, when he actually needs more care.
“It hurts to eat.” Felix pouts. Hyunjin wonders how much pain he was in last night, and why he didn’t tell Hyunjin how bad it was. He’s normally so open with pain. Hopefully, it only got bad after Hyunjin went to sleep, and he didn’t wake up until Felix was sleeping. They haven’t talked for nearly fourteen hours.
“Soup then, something warm and soothing on your throat. You’ll pass out if you go to the event with a fever and no food.” Hyunjin feels like he’s arguing with a child, and it is kind of adorable, under the frustration. If Felix was at home, Hyunjin could make him eat, but from this far away, he has to convince Felix to decide to eat.
“It all hurts, Hyunjinnie, I don’t want to swallow anything.” Felix whines, strengthening the child comparison.
“I will call your hotel from here if you don’t order food.” Hyunjin resorts to threatening. Felix drops the act, looking annoyed as he moves back to bed, reaching for the hotel phone. While Felix orders, Hyunjin returns his attention to the iPad. There isn’t a flight for a few hours, and it’s a long trip but thanks to the time difference, he’ll land just after midnight in Milan.
-
Hyunjin gives himself half an hour to throw a bag together. Thankfully, he’s an experienced packer and doesn’t need to think about what to bring. He gathers everything in his room before moving to the bathroom, not even noticing Changbin in the living room.
“What are you in a rush for?” Changbin yells, and Hyunjin startles, twirling around to spot him on the couch. He looks like he just came back from the gym, and Hyunjin is tempted to ask why he didn’t invite him to come.
“Packing. I have to leave…” Hyunjin checks the time, “Now.” He’s taking too long, so he abandons the bathroom. There are toothbrushes in Milan too and Felix always brings more than enough skincare products.
“You didn’t say you had a schedule.” Changbin accuses. He gets up and follows Hyunjin back to the bedroom.
“Lix is sick.” Hyunjin spots the blanket at the foot of his bed and carefully rolls it up. Felix has always gotten homesick easily, and the smell of home seems to help.
“And you’re gonna fly across the world to what? Wrap him in a blanket?” Changbin says, although there’s only a slight teasing tone in his voice.
“Among other things.” Hyunjin shrugs. It doesn’t really matter what he’ll do, just that he’ll be there. Changbin seems to understand that too, coming over to help Hyunjin rather than question it. It takes both of their strength to force the small suitcase shut, but they manage.
“What’s wrong with him?” Changbin asks, grabbing the suitcase and carrying it to the door.
“His throat is really bad and he has a fever.” Hyunjin says while tying his shoes. He doesn’t have time to check the weather in Milan, so he brings a jacket just in case it’s colder there.
“Do you think it’s strep again?” Changbin asks. Hyunjin mutters a curse, wondering why he didn’t think of that himself. Felix has bad tonsils, they need to come out sooner or later, and they’ve given him increasingly more trouble over the last couple of years.
“Then he needs a doctor.” Hyunjin says. How does he even begin to arrange that? It’s never been his responsibility before, and he doesn’t know how to explain anything medical in English.
“I’ll talk to Channie hyung, we’ll figure it out, you just focus on Yongbok.” Changbin says before physically pushing him out of the door.
“Thank you, hyung.” Hyunjin says before climbing into the cab, telling the driver to go to Incheon airport.
-
He sits in the gate when Felix texts him a picture of his look. He looks gorgeous in all white, and the flush in his skin has been covered by makeup, but his eyes are still tired. Hyunjin is careful to keep his screen hidden from the other travelers at the gate. It’s a commercial flight, and he’s fairly certain that the only reason he hasn’t been recognized is that no one expects him to be here.
When idols come to the airport, it’s announced in advance and treated like a public event. But this moment is private. Hyunjin is a normal guy going to see his boyfriend because he’s sick and incapable of taking proper care of himself. And Felix will never willingly go to the doctor if he thinks he has strep; he’s too scared to be told that he needs a tonsillectomy sooner rather than later.
Hyunjin replies to Felix, complimenting the look, and the man wearing it. He can practically feel Felix blushing through the phone, and smiles when he gets a pouty selfie in reaction; Felix’s neck is red and his ears match. He must feel really bad if he sends a picture rather than figuring out what to say.
‘How are you doing?’ Hyunjin asks, sure that the makeup is doing some heavy lifting. The three dots of Felix typing appear and disappear a few times before the reply comes in.
‘There’s a needle in my temple and a blade in my throat’ Felix writes. Hyunjin winces at the mental image, hating that he’s so far away. Hyunjin couldn’t do much if he was there, but at least Felix wouldn’t be alone. Hyunjin can only imagine how lonely he feels, surrounded by so many people with no one to really lean on.
Hyunjin hates to admit that it sounds like strep throat, but he reminds himself that regular colds can be very painful too, especially since Felix isn’t allowed to rest his throat.
-
Hyunjin is on the plane during most of the fashion show. He knows he can’t reach Felix while he’s working, but thanks to the live updates from everyone there, he’s able to keep an eye on him anyway.
He watches videos of Felix doing interviews, looking pale and struggling with his voice. He keeps laughing nervously when his voice cracks, and his hand trembles no matter how tightly he grips the microphone. Hyunjin can tell that it only gets harder for him the later in the night it gets, his voice slowly giving out.
The videos of the runway are even harder to watch. Felix sits on the first row, trying so hard to stay engaged, but he’s struggling so much with keeping his eyes open. Hyunjin can see the small winces that follow the bobbing of his throat, but he keeps swallowing anyway, as if his body instinctively tries to clear away the irritation.
It must be so uncomfortable to sit stiffly on a chair, lights flashing in his eyes, noise all around when he’s so feverish. Felix took fever reducers earlier, but he was still at 38.2 when he left for the fashion show.
Hyunjin looks at the top of his screen in surprise when a message from Felix rolls in. ‘Send help. I’m miserable.’ Hyunjin smiles to himself, thinking that help is already on the way; it’s just that despite having been in the air for so many hours, he has a while left.
‘I’m sorry.’ Hyunjin writes; it’s all he can do from here. The typing dots immediately appear.
‘Why are you awake?’ Felix asks. Hyunjin does some quick math in his head and can’t figure out what time it is in Korea. Felix was always better with time zones, but it doesn’t help that Hyunjin is traveling backwards through seven time zones and has no clue which one he’s in at the moment.
‘Who else would you complain to?’ Hyunjin writes. He doesn’t reveal where he is, knowing how guilty Felix will feel if he knows. No, he has to find out when Hyunjin is already there, and he can’t deny how much he needs it.
‘You stayed up for me?’ Felix asks. ‘Isn’t it midnight over there?’ Hyunjin huffs a laugh and quickly covers it up when someone looks at him. Midnight isn’t that late, but it’s true that he prefers the combination of early nights and late mornings.
‘But you need me.’ Hyunjin simply writes.
‘Don’t make me cry.’
‘Then don’t ask.’
Hyunjin smiles at his phone, and decides that maybe he should take a nap if it really is midnight, at least biologically, or whatever. It’ll be two – nine in Korea – in the morning by the time he gets to Felix; he needs sleep before then.
-
Hyunjin picks up an extra key card at the reception of the hotel, thanks to Changbin who had the foresight to think of how Hyunjin would get into Felix’s room – and Chan who called the hotel. He takes the elevator to the right floor and follows the signs to the right section of the floor.
He doesn’t know if Felix is back yet. While he slept on the plane, Felix sent a few more complaining messages about how weak he was, and how much his throat hurt, and it sounded like he lost his voice at some point. He hasn’t texted in a few hours, but it could just be that he’s too busy or too tired. Events like that tend to run very late.
Hyunjin swipes the card over the lock and cringes when it beeps loudly. He opens the door as quietly as possible, only to bang his bag against the doorframe. Resisting the urge to curse out loud, he continues to sneak inside.
When he sees Felix, dead asleep in bed, he feels like he can finally relax. It will be okay now.
Felix is still wearing a full face of makeup, and probably only changed his clothes because he had to hand back the outfit he wore to the event. It looks more or less like he fell asleep the moment he got back, taking no time to get ready for bed. One night of sleeping in his makeup won’t be that bad, Hyunjin reasons.
He doesn’t want to wake Felix, but he really needs a shower. He places his phone beside Felix’s on the nightstand, knowing he’ll reach for it if he wakes up, just so he won’t be scared if he hears someone in his room, and heads to the bathroom.
Unsurprisingly, Felix is still asleep when Hyunjin returns, smelling of all of Felix’s favorite products. Hyunjin finds the thermometer in Felix’s back and sneaks it into his ear, holding his breath when he presses the button, although he’s sure it’ll take a lot more than a small beep to wake him up. His fever is still between 38 and 39, a little on the higher end, but not too bad.
Hyunjin settles in bed and contemplates pulling Felix close, but he’s already so warm, Hyunjin doesn’t want to add his own body heat to that, especially not trapped under a comforter. So he stays on the other side of the bed; Felix never sleeps in the middle even when he’s alone, so used to having Hyunjin there.
-
Hyunjin wakes up only a couple hours later, feeling like it’s the middle of the day. He grabs his phone and updates Chan and Changbin, realizing he forgot to do it before falling asleep. Chan contacted their management who set up an appointment at a private clinic in the morning. It’s much easier not to be spotted if they stay away from public clinics. Taking him to the ER would be asking for this to go public.
Hyunjin is always surprised by how much time can pass while he looks at his phone, but even he becomes restless after a couple of hours. It’s just seven, so he doesn’t expect Felix to wake up yet, but he will go crazy if he stays in bed any longer.
To busy himself, he checks Felix’s temperature again, frowning when it has climbed up to 39. Felix has wrapped himself tightly into the comforter, holding onto the edge of it, even though his skin is red and glistening with sweat. Hyunjin has to carefully uncurl his fingers before he can pull it down and Felix shivers when the cold air hits his skin.
His t-shirt and sweats are rumpled up and damp with sweat, but even smelling of illness, Hyunjin wants to cuddle close to him and breathe him in. He would do it in a heartbeat if the goal wasn’t to bring the fever down.
Heading back to the bathroom, he wets a face cloth with cold water and brings it back to Felix. Kneeling beside the bed, he gently lays it across Felix’s forehead, keeping his hand on it so it won’t fall off.
Felix’s makeup has smudged in his sleep, revealing splotches of flushed skin, black smeared around his eyes. Hyunjin tries to be quiet, but it doesn’t really matter how gentle he is when Felix is supposed to be alone, and he registers that someone is touching him. His eyes flutter open, blinking slowly a few times before settling on Hyunjin.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, but your fever spiked.” Hyunjin speaks quietly, feeling how fragile Felix is. Felix’s mouth moves as if to speak, but only a croak comes out, followed by a flinch. He looks helplessly at Hyunjin, eyes filling with tears.
“You didn’t tell me.” Felix manages eventually, although it’s more of a movement of his mouth than a sound. He tries to look accusing, but the tears don’t help. Hyunjin turns the cloth over to the cold side, and Felix’s eyes close at the feeling, pushing the tears through his eyelashes.
“I couldn’t let you convince me to stay home.” Hyunjin says, wiping Felix’s tears with his free hand. Makeup comes off on his fingers as well, it’s become so caked on his skin, it must be so uncomfortable. “Just give me a moment.” Hyunjin says, placing the cloth on the side of Felix’s neck before going back to the bathroom. He grabs Felix’s toiletry bag, sure everything is in there.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he digs out makeup remover and cotton pads. Wetting two pads, he gently holds them to Felix’s eyes, giving the makeup a moment to dissolve before wiping it away. Felix looks like he falls back asleep while Hyunjin wipes his skin clean, and doesn’t react at all to the skincare application that follows.
Hyunjin frowns when he feels how damp Felix’s clothes are, sure that it can’t be anywhere near comfortable. He pushes the comforter completely off and undresses him before pulling him to the other side of the bed where the sheets are dry. The movement wakes Felix up, eyes widening.
“I’m just getting you comfortable.” Hyunjin says, running a hand over Felix’s damp hair. Felix relaxes back into bed, easily falling back asleep. Hyunjin rewets the cloth, leaving it slightly too wet. He runs it over Felix’s arms, chest and neck; he’ll cool down when the moisture evaporates. The cloth is placed back on Felix’s forehead before Hyunjin lies down beside him. He keeps the contact minimal, just an arm slung over Felix’s abdomen, so it won’t be too hot.
-
As the doctor’s appointment gets closer, Hyunjin has to get Felix ready to leave. To allow Felix as much sleep as possible, he prepares everything he can. Once everything is ready, he sits on the edge of the bed and calls out Felix’s name. In his fevered haze, he doesn’t even flinch.
Hyunjin smiles, finding him so adorable despite how sick he looks. There’s just something so soft about him like this, all flushed and warm and asleep. Hyunjin leans down to place kisses on his forehead, over his nose, along his cheek, following the trail of freckles. When he pulls back, Felix’s eyes are open.
“How are you feeling?” Hyunjin asks. Felix shivers, pulling at the blanket Hyunjin wrapped around him after his fever lowered; the one he brought from home. It’s thinner than the comforter and so soft that it hopefully doesn’t hurt Felix’s fevered skin.
Felix swallows, frowns and groans, not saying anything. Hyunjin has seen this before, but just to be sure, he grabs his phone and turns on the flash. “Open your mouth for me.” He instructs. Felix knows what he means, opening wide and flattening the back of his tongue. Hyunjin makes a face when he spots how swollen and white Felix’s tonsils are, definitely infected.
“I’m taking you to the doctor.” Hyunjin says. He expects Felix to refuse, or at least complain, but he just nods. Hyunjin’s heart aches at how much pain he must be in to agree so easily. He helps Felix get dressed and makes him eat a few crackers to take a fever reducer with.
“I got you soup as well.” Hyunjin chuckles when Felix flinches every time he swallows. Felix was the one who chose the crackers, despite it possibly being the most painful thing to eat.
“The soup is gross.” Felix croaks out, side-eyeing it. “It all hurts anyway; this tastes good.” At least that’s what Hyunjin thinks he says, his voice keeps falling in and out.
Eventually, Felix has to drag himself out of bed. He moves slowly, body visibly heavy as he heads to the bathroom. Hyunjin stays right outside, worried that he’ll get dizzy and fall, but all he hears is a flush and water running.
When Felix emerges, he leans into Hyunjin’s hug, going so limp that Hyunjin is sure he’ll fall if he lets go. Hyunjin checks his temperature one last time, satisfied with it only being 38.
-
In the waiting room at the clinic, Felix looks like he’s about to keel over, trembling and white as a sheet, but there isn’t much Hyunjin can do other than hold his hand. There isn’t anyone else in the waiting room, but it still doesn’t feel safe to wrap his arm around Felix and hug him close.
Miraculously, there is no delay. Felix’s name is called right on time, and he startles as if he was falling asleep. Hyunjin accompanies him to the appointment since Felix can’t really talk, and tries his best to answer the questions in English. He knows when it started, what is wrong and how it feels, it’s just hard to translate all of it into a language he doesn’t use that much.
Felix looks like he just tries to stay upright the whole time, automatically trying to appear healthier in front of strangers. He can’t have felt this bad last night, or there’s now any he would’ve made it through the event. Or maybe he did, and that’s why he’s so exhausted on top of the fever that he can’t stay awake.
Felix has done this enough times by now to know that he shouldn’t look when his finger is pricked for the CRP test. And Hyunjin has accompanied him enough times to ask for water before they do it, and hold a steady hand on his shoulder while he slowly sips. He isn’t usually bad with needles, but there’s something about the combination of the finger prick and already feeling so ill that gets to him every time. It’s kind of adorable how he reacts more strongly to this than an actual blood draw.
He isn’t given enough time to recover before the doctor swabs his throat. Felix usually asks to do it without the oversized popsicle stick pushing on his tongue, but he isn’t great at communication at the moment, and seems to resign himself to doing it the normal way.
He gags on the stick and gags on the swab, making a choking sound when the swab isn’t immediately pulled back. Hyunjin squeezes his hand tighter, and sees how hard he has to work to pull himself back together when he is allowed to shut his mouth, fighting the urge to keep gagging.
Felix looks no better when they return to the waiting room, now with an arm securely wrapped around his stomach as if he’s nauseous. Hyunjin gives him a questioning look, but Felix just shrugs with another measured breath.
He sits back in a chair, head leaning against the hard wall and looking ready to fall asleep. Hyunjin wants so badly to comfort him, but doesn’t dare do more than a hand on his thigh, gently rubbing and squeezing. Hyunjin is just glad that Felix doesn’t have to do this alone. There’s no doubt that he made the right decision in coming here.
They wait for ten minutes for the tests to come back, and neither of them are surprised that Felix’s CRP is through the roof, and the strep swab is positive. If anything, it’s a relief that they can knock this out of his body with penicillin, and don’t have to wait for it to run its course.
-
Back at the hotel, Hyunjin takes him straight to bed. He didn’t fall asleep in the car again, and the way he clutched his stomach and took measured breath was explanation enough as to why. Hyunjin was half prepared to act quickly if the nausea got any worse, but Felix made it through in one piece.
Hyunjin gathers the rest of the crackers from earlier and the pack of penicillin that they picked up on the way, joining Felix in bed. Felix looks at the crackers like they’ll hurt him, and Hyunjin isn’t sure if he’s more concerned about his throat or stomach.
“Do you feel like you’re gonna be sick?” Hyunjin directly asks. As much as he wants Felix to start the penicillin right away, it isn’t very helpful if he throws it back up.
“Not right now.” Felix whispers with a shrug. Hopefully, he only feels sick because he’s so exhausted and the gagging irritated his stomach. They’ll just have to try, and if eating makes him throw up, he can probably take another tablet.
Hyunjin holds up the penicillin box. “You need to take this, and you can’t take it on an empty stomach. That will make you sick.” He says. Felix still doesn’t agree, but he can’t really argue, so he takes a cracker and slowly chews on it, carefully swallowing. Hyunjin patiently waits for him to eat three before giving him the medication with a cup of water.
Felix pushes away the water after only a couple of sips, pressing the back of his hand against his lips. “You okay?” Hyunjin asks nervously. Felix lowers his hand and nods.
“It just hurt, why do they make them so big?” He says. Hyunjin didn’t think that the tablet looked that big, but with how tight and sore Felix’s throat is, he can understand that it is really painful to swallow anything so solid.
Hyunjin can see how sleepy he is again, so he helps him slip out of his clothes and gets a fresh washcloth, draping it over his forehead. Felix wraps himself back up in the thin blanket, and is back asleep in minutes.