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Ilya woke up slowly, the way he did when he knew it was one of those days. As he had learned a long time ago, an immortal body apparently did not mean a perfect brain. Not even death could free him from his genetic dispositions. Still half asleep, he turned to reach for Shane, the body that would be next to him for eternity.
Shane came easy, rolling into him, peppering light kisses across his chest, up his neck, to his face. Ilya met him gently, receiving the love but not chasing for more. Shane started to extend his neck, easy, expectant, but Ilya pulled him tighter into a hug instead.
"Not hungry?" Shane asked. Ilya shook his head from where it was buried in Shane's hair.
"Oh," Ilya felt Shane go limp in his arms. His sweet Shane, forever insistent on Ilya feeding from him at every opportunity, even past his turning, when they both knew Shane's blood was now enough to sustain Ilya for months at a time.
"Is not you, sweetheart," Ilya murmured from Shane's hair, afraid Shane would think he's lost interest, that the rush of their bond had worn off, that Ilya was bored of him.
Shane leaned back in Ilya's arms, forcing eye contact. "Are you feeling bad?" he asked. Ilya stroked his hair from where his hand was pinned, buying time. He couldn't keep up the ruse, not that there was much reward past saving himself from the sting of the truth: that maybe the euphoria of turning Shane was leaving his animal instincts, so he just nodded. Shane relaxed back into him.
"What do you need?" Shane asked, reaching a hand up to cup Ilya's cheek. Ilya breathed deep, his own hand pressing Shane's deeper into him. "We have no plans today. Whatever you want."
"You. Here. Just staying." Ilya whispered. Shane nodded, shifting himself to lay across as much of Ilya's body as possible.
Sure, in theory their dynamic had changed, their ownership and security with one another. Ilya was technically now Shane's Sire, yet suddenly equals, bonded in a new way, but as they lay here Ilya couldn't remember a time where this wasn't the only thing he knew.
Would Shane get bored of this, though? Ilya thought as his stomach turned. A few years of the occasional bad day and human Shane doted on him hand and foot. But as they now looked down the barrel of shared eternity, how could anybody want that?
Ilya let himself drift deep down into his mind. Hours tick by, and he was only pulled up briefly by Shane shifting occasionally, kissing Ilya here, humming to himself there, but otherwise they lay motionless. Motionless until Ilya was startled out of his disassociation by Shane mouthing at his shoulder, little baby needle pricks threatening to break skin.
Ilya cracked a smile. "Are you hungry Милий?"
Shane turned his face into Ilya's chest, embarrassed. Ilya could feel a slight warmth there. Not starved enough to not be able to blush, Ilya noted.
"No," Shane said, muffled from where he hid.
"It is okay if you are Shane, it's a little early since turning you but I have been feeding from you."
Shane huffed, turning his pink-tinted face but still not meeting Ilya's eyes. "It's not that. I feel fine."
"Then what?" Ilya murmured, threading his fingers through Shane's hair. He was excited for the last few steps of the process with Shane, but he wouldn't push it. He was excited for everything with Shane, as long as Shane would have him, forever, Ilya hoped.
A long silence grew between then. Ilya waited patiently as he could feel the micro-movements of Shane's jaw against his chest that told him Shane was thinking things through, choosing words carefully, testing the shape of them in his mouth so that when he spoke them, they would come out smooth.
"I was thinking," Shane said in his steady, metered tone, "If you wanted, I could bite you. I know you've said you don't want other people to, and you don't have to, and I know you might not want to teach me right now. But it always makes me feel good, has felt even better since turning, and I thought it might help you. Only if you want."
Ilya breathed a shaky breath. Of course as they laid here, as he spiraled in his own mind, Shane was turning every stone in his mind to find a solution. Shane, full of Ilya's blood from being turned, not even driven by a natural instinct yet to feed. Shane, using only his logic and his own experience to reason what might boost the endorphins in Ilya's mind. Ilya, who has not let anyone near his veins since a sloppy turning by a faceless sire who had taken too much of a curious Ilya, and was gracious only enough to leave Ilya with an equal amount of new blood in him as the mysterious man stole. Shane, who thinks Ilya would ever want anything besides having as much of his Shane as he could, thinks Ilya doesn't trust him with his entire being, who thinks Ilya would avoid any opportunity for the two of them to become one.
Ilya pressed a long kiss to Shane's forehead, nodding.
"Сделайте это прошу вас Шаня, Ты нужен мне."
Shane sat up, eyes going wide. "Really?"
Ilya gave him a soft smile. "Really. Please. I want you. I will guide you."
"Okay. Okay, yeah." Shane said, nodding to himself. "Wait, do you want me to drink or just bite."
Ilya's eyebrows shot up, separating the two had never even occurred to him as an option, but of course Shane would find some freaky way to only let Ilya benefit from the encounter. Ilya wouldn't stand for that, though.
"I think you will be hungrier than you realize," Ilya said softly. "Especially if it is your bonded blood, yes?" Shane hummed in response.
"I don't want to hurt you, or worse," Shane whispered. Ilya snorted.
"Shane, you will not hurt me. We are immortal. There is no risk. You can't be turned twice." While that second part was true, Ilya decided now was not the time to tell Shane that while he never set out to be turned, the self-destructive itch that led him to a seedy vamp club stemmed from the same numbness that permeated his mind now. A similar itch he felt now that Shane being a bit sloppy with his first time execution just might scratch. No matter what happened, Ilya would get something cathartic out of this.
"Oh," Shane paused, still adjusting to his new reality. "Well I don't know. I don't want to be messy, or bad at it or something. I'll do it on your thigh-"
"Don't you dare," Ilya commanded, pinning an arm around Shane to hold him from slithering down Ilya's body. Shane instantly stilled underneath him. It was a cheap trick, using compulsion on Shane, a skill Shane was nowhere near able to match or resist yet, but he'd do whatever it took to keep Shane's perfectionism and self-doubt from stopping them from going all the way here.
Ilya relaxed once Shane did, pinching Shane's chin to hold his gaze. "You already know what feels good, sweetheart. You know how I bite you every time. I will talk you through it, but just let your instincts lead you."
Shane let out a deep breath, nodding, nuzzling into Ilya's neck after a moment of composing himself. "Right here?" he whispered, from where his nose met Ilya's pulse point.
"Mmmhmm," Ilya affirmed, realizing he too had to mentally prepare for…what exactly, he wasn't sure. Ilya's thoughts picked up pace, aware that there was no going back, that this would close the loop on their bond, that Ilya's last line of avoidant defense would crumble the second Shane tasted him. It was Shane or nothing for Ilya though, a dark part of of his brain whispered, so Ilya tried to pull himself back up and focus on the present.
Shane started by kissing and kitten licking the area, a completely unnecessary action that Ilya realized Shane picked up from Ilya usually only making these ultra-intimate neck bites during sex. It was so sweet. Ilya would never ever correct it, this would be the way forever. Ilya let Shane explore with his mouth a bit, fangs whispering over his spot of focus.
"Now open your mouth wider than you think you need," Ilya coached. "Like you are deepthroating. You are good at that."
Ilya felt a puff of annoyance out of Shane's nose against his skin, but Shane otherwise obeyed, fangs scraping further apart against Ilya's neck.
"Da, like that," Ilya said. "Now get on the tips of your teeth, have as little of them touch me as possible." Shane shifted, and Ilya felt the pressure narrow to four small spots.
"Good boy," Ilya hummed, sure Shane was growing pink with praise. "Now, when you are ready, push in. Do not hesitate, one smooth motion." Shane hummed through his open mouth in acknowledgement, taking a few steadying breaths before sharp, acute pain suddenly snapped Ilya's foggy mind into alertness. The clarity was short lived though, because as he heard Shane moan from where he latched as his blood was sucked out of him, suddenly—
"Oh my god," Ilya groaned. "Shane, yes, fuck," he gasped as euphoria he had never experienced in his life rushed through him. No orgasm, no drug, no single drunken bite years ago would ever compare to the blinding white bliss currently working its way through Ilya's body. He vaguely felt Shane's mouth work against him swallowing, warmth running down Ilya's neck where Shane's novice mouth missed something, but it didn't matter. As Shane worked him, fireworks exploded in Ilya's brain, feeling the rush from Shane's venom, venom that, as it worked its way through Ilya's body, hit every acute tie between them formed by Ilya turning Shane. Ilya couldn't imagine anyone else having this much of him. He was sure he was letting out ungodly noises, but it did not matter as a piece of himself came back to him, as he knew that he got to keep Shane with him forever, have this perfect tie forever, be made eternally complete.
Ilya was somewhat aware of Shane shakily easing his fangs out of him, of him messily licking the wound clean. "Hey- Hey- Ilya," Shane was saying as he crawled up Ilya's chest, wiping at Ilya's face. As Ilya slightly surfaced to blurry vision, he realized he was steadily crying.
"Sorry," Ilya whispered, noticing Shane's face a mess with blood, Ilya's blood.
"Hey, no," Shane said, licking at his lips between words. "No sorries. Just, are you okay?" Ilya sniffed, nodding yes.
"Come here, дорогой", Ilya pulled Shane down into him. Ilya met him, mouth open, kissing Shane hard and deep. Shane met him out of breath, letting Ilya devour him. Ilya tasted himself on Shane, ignoring the way his own blood spread across his face, until Shane pulled back to hungrily lick it all up. Ilya grinned up at him, "Hungrier than you thought?" Shane, who Ilya had noticed had grown more pale since turning but didn't realize quite how much so, flushed with his entire usual color underneath his permanently-frozen freckles.
"Fuck off," Shane snapped, following with a shy, "Was it good for you?"
Ilya cupped Shane's face, forcing eye contact. "Shane, that was so good. So intense. A revelation. I do not know how you do that so often, it is so much," Ilya said, wiping the remaining blood away from Shane's face and feeding it into his mouth. Shane sucked Ilya's bloody fingers wantonly. "But so good," Ilya whispered. Blissed out and exhausted, he pulled Shane's newly-warmed body back down to his chest. "You were made for me."
Shane curled deeper into him. "You made me, sire," he teased in a whispered, lightly kissing the already-mostly-healed wound.
Ilya huffed. "That word makes me sound so old."
"You are so old" Shane giggled, snuggling closer.
Ilya sighed, lightly scruffing Shane's hair. "I could not make that. I could not make what I so perfectly need. It is all you."
Ilya didn't know where to go from here, splayed open, soul tied to the man currently sighing contently into his chest. He did not know how he got so lucky, he thought. After years of isolating himself from the world, he certainly didn't deserve it.
"Yes you do, Ilya," Shane's voice cut through, reminding Ilya of what came from the way the veil temporarily thinned when one part of a fully bonded pair fed from another.
Shane was shifting to roll them both onto Shane's back, dark eyes searching Ilya's avoidant ones.
"Hey," Shane whispered. "You have me, you deserve all of me, forever."
Ilya, weak from the zealous feeding and wrung out from the day collapsed into Shane's chest, as Shane's strong arms wrapped around him.
"I love you, forever, if you will have me," Ilya thought, trusting Shane could hear him.
"I will," Shane whispered. "I love you too. Forever."