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An Alien's Guide to Sexual Engineering by DragonsWhomstYeet
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
12 Aug 2026
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Summary
“Wish I could touch you,” I whisper, melodramatically resting my hand against the smooth barrier. “I really need a hug.”
“Have touched once. Touch more would burn more.”
“I wish it didn’t.”
He taps his little claws together before pressing his hand against mine. I want a little ink or clay impression of it… It’s cute.
“I will find way. When get to Erid, will find way to give real hug.”---
I feel my entire body stiffen as the realization dawns on me. I’m hugging Rocky. I am hugging Rocky!
Rocky’s arms were frozen in the air. He had not yet wrapped them around me. He began to shake.
“Not possible.” He quavered. “Grace should be burn.”
“Yeah.” I say, voice equally as fragile.---
We couldn’t touch back then, no matter how hard we wanted to. I think we’d both rather go back to that time. Being able to touch each other? It wasn’t worth this.
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So imagine if you took your average crypto bro/scalper/cruelty squad ceo and smashed them up with the combine from half life. And then made them sex obsessed racists? You get an alien owner, and two scared little pets. This uses mostly book cannon. But I steal some movie bits for it. Including Rocky's movie appearance.