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When Robby had popped the question, a deep sense of dread had unfurled itself in Dennis's gut. He loved Robby, sure, that much was evident from their two year relationship, but he didn't know if he was ready for the level of commitment that accompanied marriage; didn't know if he could handle being on the receiving end of Robby's bad days and depressive episodes. But Robby was smart; he had asked whilst they were surrounded with their friends, making Dennis feel as if he had no choice but to say 'Yes!' with a teary expression on his face as he pulled Robby into a hug and gushed over the ring and accepted congratulations, and so many fucking congratulations.
What was there to celebrate? He was signing himself up for a future that he didn't want, a life tied to a man who did nothing more than bring others down and torture those around him, despite how much they loved and tried to help him. One thing that remains in Dennis's mind, clear as day when he thinks back on the evening, is the deep sorrow in Jack's eyes, and the way he seemed to drown in it after only making eye contact with the man for a millisecond, before being drawn back to the festivities. Jack knew what Dennis was signing up for, better than anyone; he and Robby had known each other for too long for him not to understand how the man operated.
The pit in his stomach seemed to expand with that knowledge and his smile grew tighter as he kept listening to everyone's hundred and one tales of marriage. He just wanted to leave.
---
"You don't know what you're doing brother." Jack's voice was gruff as he leaned against Robby's porch, eyebrows furrowed in concern as Robby seemed to roll his eyes in annoyance.
"It's my life, Jack! Stop acting like my fucking caretaker for once!" Robby spat back as Jack raised his hands in mock surrender.
"Do you know what you're signing up for? Years of commitment and emotional connection that, quite frankly, you aren't ready for. For fuck's sake Robby, you haven't seen your therapist in months despite the fact you promise both me and the kid you'd go." Robby's face narrowed in suspicion at that, not expecting Jack to bring that up, especially considering his normal nonchalance on the issue.
"That's none of your business. I only went in the first place to get the pair of you off my back."
"Okay, fine, that's none of my business. But what about what you're signing Dennis up for? I can handle you when you're in a state, can he? Can you control yourself when you're mad or frustrated? Can you promise me, right here, right now, that you wont ever hurt him?" Jack asked as Robby's face paled, before turning an ugly shade of red.
"What are you trying to say here? You- you think I'd hurt him?" Robby spoke, voice hysterical, clearly taken aback by Jack's words, whilst the former military man stayed steady.
"I do. I think you wouldn't want to, but in the moment you would. Marriage comes alongside moving in together, starting a life together. You’d never get a break from one another, and I think that would push you over the edge." Jack responded, voice unmoving as Robby's hand rested to the door.
"I think you should go."
"Have you even asked him what he wants?" Jack's final question was met with a door to the face.
---
Suit shopping was horrible. Dennis supposed it was meant to be fun, shopping with his chosen bridesmaids (Victoria and Mel were very willing to be dressed up, however, Trinity decided to run the show anyway) but the entire time, it felt as if he had a guillotine hanging over his head, waiting for the moment the final blow would land and leave him trapped in a barren wasteland forever, his soul tied to Robby like a ghost. Trinity noticed, of course she did, and she did everything she could to cheer Dennis up, but it was clear, after the fifth attempt, it was something more serious plaguing his mind rather than a minor issue as she'd originally assumed.
Whilst Victoria and Mel were busy being measured for their bridesmaids dresses, Trinity pulled him aside, face tight with worry as she seemed to quickly peek around at their surroundings, ensuring they were entirely alone.
"What's going on with you, Huckleberry? You've been zoning out the whole trip and it's really starting to make me think you don't want to get married at all." She attempted to joke, however, the silence that followed the statement spoke louder than a thousand words.
"Holy shit. You don't want this." Trinity gasped, eyes widening in surprise as Dennis nodded.
"Would you? If Garcia dropped the question right now, would you say yes?" Dennis retorted, not liking the fact his heart was on his sleeve and Trinity remained a closed book.
"That's different, we're a lot more casual than you and Robby. You guys have been serious since the start, I don't understand where any of this is coming from." Trinity mumbled, getting somewhat defensive before her expression morphed back into one of friendly concern, an expression that made Dennis want to bowl over and empty the contents of his stomach at her feet.
"I'm just nervous. Pre-wedding jitters and all that." Dennis mumbled, shrugging her off as Victoria and Mel returned, doing an experimental little twirl in their dresses as Dennis smiled at them, that tight smile plastering itself on his face again as he played his role.
---
Normally, when Jack went to the roof, it was after an awful shift, however, today when he pushed open the familiar grey doors, he was met with Dennis, crouched down by the fence, looking down in contemplation.
"And here I thought blushing brides are supposed to look forward to their future. You seem keen on cutting it short." Jack teased, although there was no humour in his voice, only a maddening worry that made Dennis's head pound.
"Not much of a future, not really." Dennis replied, as Jack looked at him in surprise.
"Oh, don't look at me like that, I saw your face. When he asked me, I saw your face and I knew you thought the same things I did." Jack sighed as he put all his weight on his good leg and worked himself down to the floor so he could sit beside Dennis, hand pausing midair for a moment before settling on giving him a soft pat on the back.
"Robby is a good friend and a decent boyfriend, but he will make a terrible husband. He ghosts people whenever he's having a bad day, he needs total control in all situations and he lies. A lot." Jack proposed as Dennis frowned.
"Lies about what?"
"He hasn't gone to therapy in months. Instead, he leaves on his bike, no helmet and tempts fate." Jack hummed as Dennis let out a dry laugh.
"I should probably be worried as to why that hasn't surprised me one bit." Dennis laughed, suddenly choking back a lump in his throat as he allowed his head to fall to his knees, making himself small, just like he used to whenever his father got the belt out.
"He's not ready for this, neither are you. I think he proposed because he felt he was losing you, and he needed a way to keep you around." Dennis looked towards Jack at that and the smile that he was met with made his heart flutter for the first time in months.
"How do I get out of this Jack?" Dennis asked and for once, Jack didn't have an answer.
The silence fell over them, comforting and forlorn as they both looked out at the city, one who would never understand either of them and their pain.
Dennis, who was stuck engaged to a man who was going to end up killing him, and Jack, a man who desperately wanted to save him from somebody he was supposed to love. It was beautifully tragic.
---
When the bachelor party arrived, Dennis felt hopeless. There was nothing he could do from here, his future was decided and he would have to live with the consequences of falling in love with someone who would never truly love him, body and soul, only the idea of him and the stable life he represented. Trinity and Mel were up on stage, doing karaoke as Victoria filmed, all three of them drunk beyond their means as Dennis sat at their table, smile wiped clean off his face as he tried to see a positive whilst he was actively drowning in front of them all, and none of them seemed to notice.
Hours passed by this way, with carefully placed smiles and grins whenever they looked over at him as he felt the hole in his heart deepen with each passing second. This was it, wasn't it? This was where his autonomy as a person was stripped and he became nothing more than Dr Robinavitch's husband, forever demeaned and diminished by his fiance's achievements whilst he was made to feel like he wasn't enough, in any capacity. And if they adopted children down the line, Dennis knew he'd end up being the mean parent or the strict one, as he cared for their wellbeing, and not just their achievements.
"You're unhappy." Trinity mumbled as she took a seat next to Dennis, looking at him with that same look from the bridal shop, the look that left Dennis gasping for air as his very insides were torn apart by her assumptions.
"I'm fine."
"Don't fucking lie to me, Dennis. I can see it on your face when you think I'm not looking; you seem more like you're preparing for a funeral than you are your wedding." Trinity observed as Dennis looked at her.
"It is a funeral. For the person I could've become without being tethered to a man who will end up stripping me of every ounce of myself until I'm just a shell of myself, every achievement, accomplishment and award I could ever win will be dedicated to him. I will be trapped in his image, as his prize, and there is nothing I can fucking do about it."
Is what he wished he said.
Instead, he laughed it off and mumbled the same excuse about being nervous for the big day, how he wished his parents were here to see him, even though they'd have cursed him to eternal damnation in hell before ever stepping foot into his wedding with a man. Trinity seemed to relax slightly, no doubt placating herself and her worries as she nodded, getting up and going back to the other girls as Dennis was left feeling as if he was gutted and his insides were scattered everywhere, and he was in a desperate competition to scoop them up and hide them before everyone else realised how ugly he was inside.
How his feelings were so big, and overwhelming, he could do nothing but choke.
---
"There's still time to call this whole thing off." Jack spoke, a drink in hand as he sat at a bar table with Robby, watching as Langdon and Dana tried their best at karaoke, both of them out of tune and fumbling their way through whatever modern day pop song the group of girls they were hanging around suggested.
"Can you cut that shit for one night? I'm getting married, I'm happy, what's the problem?" Robby huffed a sigh, looking at Jack with a irritated glare.
"Dennis isn't happy. He doesn't want this, Robby, he knows how this ends; we both do." Jack spoke as Robby let out a disbelieving laugh.
"You're bullshitting! Dennis is happy, he wears his ring all the time and smiles and he talks about how excited he is. Really, Jack, why are you trying to sabotage my marriage before it's even began?" Robby laughed, drawing the attention of a few nearby customers as Jack offered him a deadpan expression.
"I'm doing this before you sabotage it yourself and hurt someone."
"This shit again? Really? Jack, you've been my friend for years, what makes you think I'd hurt someone, let alone my soon to be husband?" Robby asked, his smile turning cold, and Jack felt his stomach drop as it echoed the expression of his former enemies on the battlefield; cold, calculating and willing to do absolutely anything to come out on top.
"Because I know you. And I know, when the time comes, it'll happen, and you'll apologise like hell for it. And he'll stay, and that'll make you think it's okay. And the next time it happens, you wouldn't hesitate as much, you'd hit harder and soon you're both in a pattern of Dennis being trapped and unable to leave, and you forcing him into that position." Jack stood up from his chair, face devoid of any emotion as he took his leave, dropping a twenty on the table on his way out, not wanting to look at Robby's face a moment longer.
His heart was full of grief, not for him, for Dennis. Tomorrow, he would become trapped, permanently, and he would never know how Jack felt about him. Never know how much he would treasure him, make him feel seen, sacrifice his own career just to see that little ounce of joy when Dennis succeeded at something.
He would never know, and that filled his heart with grief.
---
Looking in the mirror, Dennis felt nothing. No happiness, no sadness, no anger, just nothing. His suit was nice, classy, bought with Robby's card after he'd told him to 'indulge himself' after he returned from the bridal shop with no suit in hand, hoping Robby would take the hint and call it off. They'd tried to brighten up his complexion with makeup, but it just aided in making Dennis feel more like a possession, a doll they could mould into whatever position or shape they wanted and force into a role he was never born to play.
"It's so annoying!" Victoria hissed as she went over his eyebags one more time with highlighter, blending it roughly with her makeup sponge as Dennis tilted his chin upwards to give her better vision.
"What is?" Dennis muttered, voice quiet as he soaked in the bustling chaos around him.
"Your eyes are just so.. sad. Like, you permanently look like a kicked puppy, it's annoying. You need to look happy!" Dennis stilled at that, the pit in his stomach expanding into a canyon and swallowing him up.
The noise around him died down after a while, everyone leaving to get into their positions as Dennis was finally left alone, letting out a sigh filled with sorrow and regret. He didn't want this. He wished he had the guts sooner, to tell Robby he wanted to wait, to force him to change first, but now? He was out of options, out of luck and out of a future, a future where he was happy and himself anyway. The cufflinks pinned against his wrists slowly began to loosen themselves, and it wasn't before Dennis tried to fasten them again that he realised it was because his hands were shaking.
This wasn't fair, it wasn't supposed to be like this-
"Dennis." A familiar voice rasped out.
Dennis turned his head and there Jack stood, gaze mirroring the sadness within his own expression as Dennis's lower lip trembled, the dam of emotions he'd been piling up of the last few months threatening to spill right there and then.
"I can't do this Jack." Dennis's voice was small, like a mouse as Jack reached him, pulling him into a soul settling hug, the comfort he felt overwhelming him entirely.
"My truck's parked out the front, right by the banister with the poppies. If you want to run, you can. I'll take you anywhere." Jack mumbled, head buried in Dennis's hair as Dennis finally pulled back.
"Oh yeah? And go where exactly? No matter what happens, I'm stuck either having to explain why I ran from the man I'm supposed to love or why I married someone so cruel." Dennis laughed, the sound coming out wet and desperate rather than humorous.
"Then we leave the fucking state if we have to! Den, please, you can't do this, to either of us." Jack pleaded, voice becoming more and more desperate as the time passed on, the entrance music starting, likely followed by the first bridesmaid.
"You're asking me to choose the unknown here, Jack. To choose complete insecurity for a life that, while likely to be horrible, will keep a fucking roof over my head!" Dennis hissed, being wary of the noise they were making.
"I'm not asking you to choose the unknown, I'm asking you to choose me." Jack spoke, grabbing Dennis's face so he could look him in the eyes properly.
"Jack-"
"I'm not done. I have connections in the east coast, I can get us both a new job anywhere you want. Hell, you don't even need a job, I have an investment account so large we could live comfortably for the rest of our lives. But I don't want any of that if it's not with you, Dennis. Robby doesn't see what I see; you're fucking amazing at everything you do, you bring joy to every room and you're so unforgivably yourself despite everything you've gone through, it's admirable and I love you for it. I'd take your last name, become a house husband, anything, if it meant I got to see you for the rest of my life." Jack finished his spiel with a sad smile as Dennis felt his cheeks flush.
"I don't- I don't know what to do." Dennis's voice sounded pained as Jack smiled at him.
"Just say yes."
---
"You're running a bit late. Not going to try and talk me down again?" Robby snorted as Jack took his place at his side, not offering a response as the last of the bridesmaids entered and everyone collectively stared at the door, waiting for the moment Dennis walked in.
And he did, face pale and a shaky smile on his face as he walked down alone, steps hesitant yet continuous.
"Guess I was right." Robby muttered victoriously as Jack felt his heart drop.
He had hoped Dennis would choose him, choose possibility over safety, but it seems he was wrong. When he finally reached the alter, his eyes caught Jack's for a brief moment and all he saw was overwhelming grief and an inner turmoil so intense, it made his own brain hurt. The officiant began their prepared spiel about love and commitment as Jack's eyes never left Dennis's face for a moment, looking, searching, for answers he knew weren't there.
"Do you, Michael, take Dennis to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honour and cherish him, continue to deepen your understanding of him, and treat him with love and compassion, in joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw your way?" The officiant probed Robby, a pointed look being aimed at him as Robby smiled at Dennis.
"I do." The words seemed to cement themselves into Jack's chest; this was it. This was the moment he'd lose Dennis forever.
"Do you, Dennis, take Michael to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honour and cherish him, continue to deepen your understanding of him, and treat him with love and compassion, in joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw your way?"
Jack's eyes met Dennis's.
---
"Yes."
Their eye contact didn't falter for a second, and Jack knew, without a doubt, the message was meant for him.
"I'm sorry, you need to say 'I do'." The officiant began as Dennis turned tail and ran down the aisle, Jack at his heels within a second as a stupid grin spread across his face, ignoring the way everyone seemed to call after him, the way Robby's voice, full of rage, echoed behind him.
He couldn't hear any of it, not over the sounds of him laughing and Jack chuckling beside him, a smile so wide on his own face and Jack's, it physically hurt. He practically leapt into the passenger seat, hurrying Jack to get into the driver's seat as they pulled out of the parking lot, just in time to see Robby exit the building, face plastered in shock as Jack felt a vicious sense of justice deep down in his gut.
"Guess I was right after all brother." He called out loud enough for Robby to hear as he stepped on the gas, enjoying the way Dennis laughed and stuck his head out the window like an overly excited puppy.
"Oh fuck, we really did that?" Dennis gasped, a smile still on his face as Jack grinned back at him.
"We did. And it felt fucking amazing." Jack laughed as Dennis looked at him, face suddenly so sincere it sent Jack's mind for a spin.
"Say it again."
"What?" Jack spoke, confusion lacing his tone as Dennis shifted his entire body to look at him.
"That you love me. Say it again." He mumbled.
"I love you." Jack's voice was tender, full of years of repressed feelings and doubt that clouded his judgement and almost let the man he loved get away.
"I love you too." Dennis spoke, leaning in and grabbing the nape of Jack's neck, pulling him into a searing kiss that had him slamming on the brakes so he could engage properly, responding to all of Dennis's desperation and overwhelming affection in kind.
When they finally separated, Dennis wondered how he'd almost allowed this to slip away, how he'd almost traded it all in for a life stuck being the husband of a man who would never truly know him. He pushed those feelings to the side and focused on Jack, and the wind in his hair, and the highway barriers turning into a blur as they sped away from Pittsburgh.
"Let's start our life together, my runaway bride." Jack teased and Dennis's heart felt full.
---
"That's how you and daddy got together? That's so cool!" Jody spoke, her small five year old hands slamming excitedly on her papa's knee as her brother made a gagging sound behind her.
"It's gross! Adults and their kissing, yuck!" Koda retorted, quickly getting into a squabble with his twin sister as Dennis laughed and separated them, pulling both his babies in for a hug.
"Well, luckily for me, marrying your daddy is what brought you two into my life, so I think that is the greatest gift of all." Dennis replied as both twins seemed to settle against him, neither noticing the way their daddy snuck up behind them.
"And it also meant we went to the shelter and found Arty, who is the best puppy ever." Jack teased as the dog jumped into the cuddle pile, getting fur all over everyone as the twins gasped in mock horror, quickly chasing after the German Shepherd, who immediately jumped to the challenge and sprinted off down the yard.
Dennis didn't believe it some days.
His life in Pittsburgh seemed like a lifetime ago by now, his mind well attuned to the California summers and life he'd built with Jack, his husband. He still kept in touch with a lot of his friends, Trinity especially as she took vacations every summer to come and stay with them for the week to see the twins, but he liked to consider that chapter of his life, with Robby, closed. He was so fucking happy. He had a loving and doting husband, a stable career, two beautiful children and a rampant puppy enough to cheer up anyone she met, his life was perfect and he was so fucking free.
"Where'd you go?" Jack spoke, settling behind Dennis as he pulled his husband against his chest, pressing a kiss against the back of his neck and Dennis smiled and angled his head backwards to see Jack properly.
"Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you." Jack smiled at that, giving him a proper kiss on the lips, hand toying with Dennis's curls as he felt himself relax fully.
"Eight years tomorrow marks you saying yes." Jack mumbled, as Dennis looked towards him in surprise.
"You remember the date?" He laughed, voice incredulous as Jack's cheeks flushed.
"It was the best day of my life, I'll remember it till death do us part." Dennis smiled, remembering the vows they'd made in the courthouse as soon as they got to California.
It wasn't anything fancy, just them and the officiant, but it was so unapologetically them that Dennis knew he couldn't ask for anything better.
His life was perfect, he loved everything about it.
Even now, he was glad he ran when he did as it meant he got the future he never imagined he'd have.