Work Text:
Project Perihelion: Asset 1 Interview & Skill Assessment Transcript
Location Codename: Mihira Station, Room C
Asset Codename: Eden
Handler Codename(s): Iris
Interview Supervisor(s) Codename: Seth, Martyn
Handler notes: The Perihelion Express Claw Machine was placed in the interrogation room in standby mode as per skill assessment protocol. A low dose of Pentathol was administered to the asset, in order to reduce inhibitions prior to the start of the recording. Under the substance’s influence, the asset objected to being referred to as “she” or “he”, citing an enduring experience of being “not really human,” and requested to be referred to as “it” in our documentation.
—BEGIN TRANSCRIPT—
Iris: Alright Eden, start from the beginning. How do you know about the Perihelion?
Eden: What’s the point in talking about it? I’m clearly having another nervous breakdown. Which psych ward am I in, RaviHyral?
Iris: Like I said before, you’re not in the hospital. You are in a secure location, which we cannot disclose to you at this time. We’ve brought you here because we need your help, but we want to make sure we’re on the same side first. We have reason to believe you have had extended interactions with Peri and want to corroborate our current intel before proceeding.
Eden: [snorts] Peri?
Iris: Yes, [motions to Perihelion Express Claw Machine] We call it Peri. You call it something else, don’t you?
Eden: [blushes and looks down] Yeah… ART. It stands for Asshole Robot Talon.
Iris: [laughs] sounds like you really know our Peri.
Eden: You said you need my help with it. Why?
Iris: As I’m sure you’ve already figured out, Peri isn’t just a claw machine. It’s an advanced form of Artificial Intelligence downloaded into a claw machine as an extension of its main systems.
Perihelion has recently been infected with an extremely sophisticated type of killware, the likes of which we’ve never seen. Its systems are completely corrupted. None of our techs can get it back online. We think its software might be perminently damaged, but we’re not sure.
Eden: Wait… are you saying that ART’s… dead?
Iris: It might be.
Eden: [Cover’s its face with its hands] What? No-no-no—fuck! It can’t— [inaudible mumbling].
Iris: [Slides a tissue box across the table towards Eden] We know about your background, so that’s why we brought you here. We are completely locked out of Peri’s systems, but we think you might be able to hack your way in and restore its backup kernel.
Eden: [sniffs and wipes its eyes] I can try.
Iris: Good. First my supervisors and I need to hear what you already know about Peri. Can you tell us how you two met and what happened from there?
Eden: [takes a deep breath] Okay. Yeah, I can do that. Who are you people anyway?
Iris: There will be time to discuss that later. Go ahead, Eden, tell me everything that happened.
Eden: Everything?
Iris: Yes, everything. Be as detailed as possible.
Eden: Okay my memory is kind of weird sometimes, but I think it was in the first two weeks of my security job at Upland Gateway Centre, the big office block in the Corporation District.
I would hang out in the food court area between rounds, instead of the security office. The office just felt too… closed in, I guess. I brought my laptop and worked my way into the building’s local network so I could watch the cameras from wherever. Also, the food court has a TV that gets The Feed Channel, which plays back-to-back episodes of Drama Sun Islands at 1am, so.
Iris: Why work as a security guard when you’re so good with coding?
Eden: I mean, before that I worked for The Company.. you know, the big software conglomerate. I did cyber security there, but it was really shitty—endless hours in a cubicle with no breaks. I knew they were corrupt, but I kind of just stuck with it because I did’ know what else to do—until I found out what they were doing with Ganaka Inc. So many people got screwed in that takover… I was so overworked and realizing I had been a part of making that happen… [shakes its head and grimaces].
Iris: So you left The Company?
Eden: Yeah. My memory of that time is really fuzzy, but I think I just sort of… snapped, you know? I needed to do something different. My friend Mensah offered for me to come stay on her weird compound outside of town while I sorted things out, but I just didn’t think I’d fit in there.
So yeah, I ended up being a security guard at Upland Gateway Centre. My shift started at 9pm when the place closed, but I’d usually come a couple hours early to watch The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon on the food court TV, since I don’t get The Feed Channel at home. Have you seen it?
Iris: No, I don’t think so. I’ve heard it’s good though.
Eden: It’s so good! I bought the soundtrack CD a few months before leaving The Company and I swear listening to it on repeat at work is what kept me from losing it completely. You really should watch it!
Iris: [Smiles] I’ll keep that in mind. So you’d come to Upland Gateway Centre early. Is that when you first noticed the Perihelion Express claw machine?
Eden: Yeah, I always thought those machines were rigged and I wanted to see if it was true. After a week or so, I’d come to the conclusion that this one was rigged, but not in the way I’d seen before. Kids would always win. I swear I saw the talon move on its own and grab for prizes that were nowhere near where the kid was aiming for. But, then I’d see office guys play it sometimes and the thing would let go of pretty much anything they tried to grab. It was kind of funny.
Iris: You call it a talon, not a claw?
Eden: Yeah, the way it scooped up the stuffed animals, it kind of reminded me of a bird’s talons.
Anyways, one night I noticed that some new stuff had been added. There was a plush spaceship that reminded me of the one in this show I watched as a kid, Magic Spaceship or something. So I went over to the machine and was about to put in a quarter, but then the blue lights started flashing and the little jingle played like how it did when it was ready to go. So I tried and won the stuffed spaceship no problem. I barely had to do anything, actually. The machine just sort of grabbed it for me. I barely touched the controls.
It felt good to win, even if it kind of seemed like the claw machine was helping me. So, I thought I’d try again. I pressed the start button and nothing happened. I realized that I didn’t actually have any quarters on me, so started messing with the controls to see if I could activate the free play mode again.
That’s when I heard it say, through its tinny little speakers, “you were lucky.”
I thought it was just a recording and I was feeling a bit silly, so I was like “Yeah? Why am I lucky?” And it said back, “That no one saw you win a prize without inserting a quarter.”
I remember saying something to myself like, “How was I supposed to know that free play mode comes with a side of guilt trip,” while still fiddling with the controls.
Then all its lights started flashing really fast and the talon slammed on the plexiglass right in front of my face and it said, “DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HACK MY SYSTEMS!!!”
I actually jumped back and covered my eyes. The flashing lights had really messed with my head, along with being threatened by an angry sentient claw machine. At this point, I was pretty sure that I was hallucinating. I needed to snap out of it, so I sat down and started disc 1 of the World Hoppers DVD box set on my laptop. I’d just gotten it off eBay.
After a little while, I heard this tapping sound behind me and that tinny voice saying “Hello, Security Guard?” I couldn’t take it anymore so I turned around a yelled “What?”
The Claw Machine’s talon started pointing at something on the floor and it said in this sad little voice, “you forgot your prize,” and yeah, I guess I had dropped it when the asshole robot talon tried to threaten me with violence and migraines. I went over to pick up the stuffed ship and realized it looked a lot like the ship on the side of the machine. It apologize for scaring me and I went and sat back down.
Half way through episode 3 of World Hoppers, the Asshole Robot Talon (ART) started tapping on the plexiglass again and asked me what I was doing. I told it I was watching a show about spaceships. It asked if it could watch too. I was like, “sure, but how?” and ART got all condescending and said “through my camera, idiot.” So I asked it why the hell a claw machine needed a camera and it replied with something smug like “wouldn’t you like to know.”
Anyways, I brought my laptop over so it was in ART’s sightline and we watched World Hoppers for a while. It sort of became a regular thing we did. I still thought I had probably gone crazy, but I was actually feeling happier than I had for a long time. So I figured I’d just go with it and hopefully the hallucination would go away when my brain was done with whatever it was trying to sort out. That’s what would happen when I was a kid at least.
The thing that made me think ART could actually be real was all the prizes it would give me. It would just sort of chuck hem out of the slot when I came to see it. I actually carry this one on me all the time.
[Eden reaches into its jacket pocket and pulls out a set of keys with a small plush sun wearing sunglasses attached. It half smiles and puts the keychain back in its pocket.]
One time the moron got something stuck in its main slot and made me reach in to pull it out. It took that opportunity to grab my hand with its talon which was… weird, but kinda nice. [Eden blushes and looks away]. I told it a lot of stuff that I’d never told anyone about my life… I can’t believe it might be… [Eden puts its face in its hands and breathes shakily].
Iris: Our intel suggests that you stopped coming into work six months ago. What happened?
Eden: Right, that. I’d heard through the grapevine that my friend Mensah had gotten targeted by some really shady people. I went to this party I knew she’d be at, you know, incase she needed help. Long story short, I got in a fight with some guys that were way bigger than me and got nearly beaten to death. The point is though, that I got Mensah out of that situation.
I had a really bad concussion, so she insisted I stayed with her at her commune while I recovered. It’s been pretty good so far actually. I even managed to pick up some freelance work from some of her friends and colleagues.
I was in the Corporation District today to turn in my uniform and badge because I just kept forgetting to do it, what with the whole concussion affecting my memory. That’s when you said hi to me and started flirting with me—at least that’s what I thought it was at the time. Turns out you just wanted to kidnap me.
Iris: Yeah, sorry about that. Off the record though, was it working? You are kinda cute.
Eden: [Grimaces] I’m not really into that sort of thing.
Iris: Oh, uh okay. Thank you for answering my questions. I’ve received word from my supervisors that I have the go ahead to let you take a look at Peri’s systems.
Eden: What about my questions?
Iris: What would you like to know?
Eden: Who are you working for and why the hell do you have a sentient claw machine sitting in a corporate office block?
Iris: I work for a private intelligence agency. That’s all I can say at this time. In terms of why we placed Peri in a claw machine in the Corporation District, Upland Gateway has become one of our crucial observation points for the goings on of several noteworthy corporate entities. You’d be surprised how much proprietary information is divulged on people’s lunch breaks.
Peri’s job is to record the data onto memory chips hidden in specific stuffed animals that our contacts play for and win. Some contain tracking devices for people we want to follow. We actually were able to track your whereabouts through the keychain that you’ve been keeping on you. Peri had been tasked with recruiting a capable hacker and you seemed like an ideal candidate.
Eden: What? [rubs its face with its hands] Oh for fuck’s sake, ART!
Iris: [Pulls a laptop out of a drawer and places it in front of Eden] You can use this. Peri is connected to all our computer systems.
Eden: Okay, let me see. [types, mumbles inaudibly, drums its fingers on the table] Come on ART… please be here.
[Silence for 1m39sec]
Eden: Okay! I think I found its backup kernel, but I need a password. Any ideas on what that might be?
Iris: No, Peri randomizes new passwords every 24 hours and the killware infiltrated our password manager too. Can you hack your way in?
Eden: Maybe… but that feels… I don’t know… [More fidgeting and inaudible mumbling]. Okay this is stupid, but I’m doing it anyways. You’d better not make me look like an idiot, ART. [Enters a long string of characters into the password field]
[The computer makes a start up sound and the Perihelion Express Claw Machine’s lights flicker on.]
Eden: ART?! Is that you?
Perihelion: Of course it’s me, you little idiot. Now, stop leaking on my keyboard. [taps its claw on its plexiglass window, pointing at the laptop]
Eden: [rubs its eyes with its sleeve] ART, what the fuck! You tracked me and told your goons to kidnap me?
Perihelion: I thought you’d be flattered that I saw your potential!
Iris: But Peri, Eden didn’t hack into the firewalls around your kernel like it was supposed to. It got in by entering a password.
Perihelion: Good, I was hoping it would figure that out. Turns out I was right, you are smarter than you look.
Iris: But, how would Eden know the password?
Perihelion: Because the password I chose is the binary sequence for Security Guard’s real name.
Eden: ART, what the hell are you talking about? You knew you were going to get infected with killware?
Perihelion: Oh Security Guard, so naive. There never was any killware. This was a skill assessment to determine whether or not you would be a suitable asset to the New Tideland Intelligence Agency.
Iris: And, it looks like you passed. Welcome aboard!
Eden: ART, you fucker! [stands up and punches the Perihelion Express’s plexiglass window]
—END TRANSCRIPT—