Chapter Text
Knowing who your soulmate was was often as much of a curse as it was a blessing. Because for every perfect pair there was an imperfect one.
An unrequited bond.
An unpaired soul.
A long dead partner.
Someone you would never be able to find.
Someone… who wasn't the one you thought you loved.
Soulmates were a messy affair, designed to make love easier but often making it harder instead.
Which is why the majority of the world didn’t get the soulmarks tattooed onto their body.
Some wanted to choose their own fate. Others feared rejection. Some thought it was unnatural. Some just didn’t care. A romantic broken as they realized their serenade had been mis-aimed, a child broken as pain panged through the mark from someone they could not see. A person realizing they weren’t as straight as they thought, cutting the mark in the night as they feared their families. But some sought the confirmation, the knowledge that they were doing something right. Even if it was actually wrong.
Many people didn’t want to find out who their soulmate was. Of course if their soulmate got the tattoo they didn’t have much choice in the matter, but even after their accepted existence people usually got on with their daily lives.
This was not the case for Lance McClain.
Lance came from a large family, spanish falling easily from his tongue, surrounded by the gazes of smile of all his siblings and cousins… and their soulmates. Because at twenty-one every McClain child got their soulmark just like their mother before them. So far only two of Lance’s siblings had done it, and four cousins. Only three got happy endings.
Lance wouldn’t call himself nervous per se. He was filled with his usual cocky sway, confident that the world had given him a perfect match. At least, that’s what he told people.
He didn’t tell his cousin about the deep fear of his soulmate being dead, or alive in the wrong time.
He didn’t tell Pidge that he was afraid he would be a whole soul like she was- it fit her. It didn’t fit him.
He didn’t tell Hunk he was afraid that his soulmate would be halfway across the world, impossible to reach.
He didn’t tell his sister he was afraid his soulmate was in pain.
He didn’t tell anybody he was afraid his soulmate wouldn’t want him.
These thoughts were bundled in a neat box within Lance’s head, shelved in a dusty area that read ‘Do Not Enter’. But his mind hardly listened to him, and spent its nights curled in that corner and going through each box painstakingly slow, drawing out each small slip of paper with some sort of twisted joy.
It got worse as his birthday got closer.
He joked about being able to drink, to get the ladies (or the men) in bars now, as if he didn’t sneak already. He joked about how beautiful they had to be if they were going to be paired with him. He joked and joked and complained and worried until the day had come.
And he couldn’t back out, wouldn’t disappoint his mama like that. But damn was it hard. He wanted to throw his hands up and say he couldn’t do this, that he felt like he was drowning and he hadn’t even yet been pushed underwater and he couldn’t, he couldn’t because he was Lance McClain and he never backed down from something like this. Even if he always did.
So there he sat, curled up in the chair and trying not to shake, trying to bluster through with all his bravado even as they tipped him into the water, as he sank into the pod and started screaming and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Until he was wet and shaking, dragged out and left to stare at the bandage pulsing on his arm with a hundred dollars less in the bank.
He had slept in that tank, his family long gone because it was supposed to be a private moment looking at what the liquid revealed.
Lance couldn’t bear it, he felt stripped and alone. So he walked aimlessly around the city, barely aware of what was going on around him. People were going about their lives, unaware of the crisis Lance was sure he was about to go through.
He felt empty, somehow. Cold. Nerves and trepidation made it hard to swallow, made it hard to see.
‘Like ripping off a band-aid’, right?
Somehow he had walked to a park and Lance looked up at the darkened sky, admiring the stars twirling above him and the trees sheltering him, surrounding him with a calm green space. Taking a deep breath Lance took the bandage between two slim fingers, and pulled .
He just stared, the gauze slipping out of his fingers. He could scarcely breath as he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, bringing the distorted image close to his face.
It was beautiful. That was the only word he could use to describe it really, heart caught in his throat and eyes sparkling with something between joy and tears. It felt… warm, somehow, filling up that cold part in his chest.
Granted, they could still be dead. He wouldn’t know until he touched it, until he brushed trembling fingers across the foreign surface. Then he would learn so much more but- but still. It was enough just looking at it, bad angle and blurry image aside. It made his heart swell and lips smile. It was- it was perfect . Not an empty space.
For starters, it was red. All sorts of red, from blood red to the type of red you can only find in sunsets. The kind of reds that Lance knew where his new favorites, the ones he would see and immediately smile at. There were also the flames- roaring, sparking on his arm and looking almost alive, breathing, clawing their way towards his soul. They were impulse and bravery, passion and abashed greed. Almost flickering beneath the sky. And speaking of the sky- gods , there were stars. Stars curled in amongst the licks of raging fire, sparkling brightly as hopes, as more fire. And it fit, it fit against the darkened sky and he could see the yearning to reach out to them, to gain comfort from their constant presence. Lance couldn’t say he understood the third component as much, but it still fit, without a doubt belonging as much as every other tendril of orange and red. It was a lioness, red and soaring across that burning sky. It’s eyes were yellow and narrow with focus, looking almost as if it were fighting something. Yet it’s tail was curled to protect, paws stretching out as shields against some unseen enemy.
It’s auburn red was his favorite color of them all.
The whole soulmark took up his entire shoulder, the final tongues of flame reaching his elbow but no further. Lance slowly curled his fingers in the soft spot of his elbow, then tightening his resolve he trailed upwards.
His knees buckled and he fell to the ground.
He was watching his mother fall to the ground, fear pumping through his veins as he ran, as her last words echoed in his mind-
He was glaring at his foster parents, wondering why they didn’t understand. He couldn’t help the red hot anger flooding him-
He would never be helpless again. He smashed his fists into the pads again and again, knowing that he would never again have to run.
He was staring up at the stars, wishing he could be up there and away from this fucking Earth. A place of constructs and confines and people who assumed they knew what they were talking about when they didn’t know at all-
He was sobbing as he was dumped again, by a stupid boy who thought he could take and take but never give. But he was broken, and that was what he deserved.
He was watching the stars again, searching for some sort of sign. The stars had been the only constant thing in his life, and they were the one thing he couldn’t let go of. Not again. Not this time. He was afraid he wouldn’t make it if he did.
He was staring at the soulmark parlor, wanting to go inside but knowing that once he did it would just affirm how much of a fuck up he was, so he revved his motorbike and drove past, eyes glancing at the strange boy who seemed broken even though he had an unopened bandage on his arm. A boy with startling blue eyes and tanned skin, who looked up at him without seeing as he drove away.
He was Keith Kogane, twenty-one years old.
Lance gasped as he was thrown back into his own body, scrambling up. He’d felt the finality of those thoughts, that dark spiral. He knew where Keith was going, tonight. If only he’d grabbed the bandage earlier, he’d been right there. His soulmate had looked at him.
He wasn’t actually that far, shoulder burning. His soulmate wasn’t dead, but if left alone he might be. A person could only handle so much before they cracked.
Lance ran, ignoring the branches smacking into his face as he untied the cargo jacket from his waist and tugged it on. He didn’t need to see Keith as his soulmate right now, he needed to see him as a stranger. Lance felt strangely fine with that, with never meeting this boy again if only he saved him now.
His feet ached and breath was coming in gasps as he climbed the hill in the tall forest, holding back a whimper as he saw the sharp incline of the cliff he was on.
Then he was there, and his soulmate was right in front of him , peering over the edge with one half-gloved hand tapping absently on his bike.
Time sucked into Lance and he slowed, making his movements loud and purposeful.
“Hi!”
Lance gulped as violet eyes turned on him, a mask of unfeeling cold. He wanted to flinch and run away, tail between his legs but he couldn’t. This was a different couldnt from earlier, not one born of disappointment but rather resolve.
“...”
“The stars are pretty tonight. I heard that there’s supposed to be a meteor shower, ya know. In a week, I think.”
Keith blinks, frowning, before seeming to realize how close he was to the edge. He took a careful step back, looking confused. “Do I know you?”
“Nope.” Lance pops the ‘p’, walking over and plopping himself down next to the bike. A childish urge to swing his legs took over him as he looked over the cliff, so he did just that. “Just a stranger passing by.”
A look of wary recognition. “You were standing outside that shop.”
Feign ignorance. “A shop? Nah, I’ve been here all day. Might’ve been my brother though. We look really similar after all.” A bright smile.
“Oh… he didn’t look so good. You should check on him.”
As if on cue Lance’s phone rang. He realized with a sinking feeling that this was not the first time it had rung but he had been, ah, otherwise engaged. Cursing he dug it out, hesitating before clicking the answer button.
“ Boy where have you been!? I was so worried son, what happened??”
The spanish rolls naturally off of Lance’s tongue.
“ Sorry, sorry, I freaked out a little haha… I have a soulmate though! I know who he is. But I have something I need to do right now, can i talk to you later?”
“What? We need to pick you up, are you sure you alright?”
“I’m alright I promise, this is really really important. Loveyoubye!”
He quickly ended the call before she could cut him off. He was going to catch hell for that later. With an annoyed sigh he turned his attention back to his soulmate.
He was startled by the shocked look in those beautifully violet eyes, staring at him through strands of black hair.
“What is it, mullet?”
“I- was that spanish?”
“Yeah. Why? Like what you hear?”
There’s a long pause. “Maybe.”
Shit , he was not ready for that. It probably shows in his face, he can feel the stretch of his wide eyes.
The man bends down closer, and Lance is suddenly trembling because holy shit he’s hot and strong and could probably knock me off this cliff without a second thought.
Keith pauses, searching for something in blue eyes before closing the final distance.
Normally Lance might say no. Normally he would stare at the stranger kissing him as if they were insane but this time? Keith didn’t feel like a stranger. And Lance knew what he needed.
He kissed back softly, gently, wrapping his arms around Keith and feeling the boy melt into his arms. There would be other times to go quick and fast like the flames on his shoulder but today they would move like water, seeping and soft.
“ It’s okay, it’s okay”
Lance isn’t sure when he starts to sing, but then the words are pouring out of his mouth and he can’t stop them, won’t stop them now.
“ The stars watch you from the sky
Careful, careful or they’ll fall from their heights
Crash to the ground and let you burn
Close your eyes and wait your turn
Feel the wings form at your back
Worry naught bout what you lack
Close your eyes and face the sun
The time is over, do not run
Watch the starfire born as flames
Close your eyes and play no game
Trust the stars that guide your hand
Tell them when you hit the sand
Close your eyes and feel your dreams
Bursting from you at the seams
Take a chance and reach the sky
Knowing if you try, you can fly.”
Lance sang the verses over and over again, flipping from spanish to english versions as his soulmate fell asleep on his shoulder.