Archive of Our Own

The big wave brought you.

Words, any words, your laughter; and you so lazily and incessantly beautiful. We talked and you have forgotten the words.

Desire. Sasuke feels it deeply, he has since he was a child. He desired to be a son his father was proud of. He desired to be acknowledged by his brother. He desired strength. He desired revenge. He desired loneliness. He was consumed by it all, until he could no longer feel anything else. It was like a fire spreading within him, licking all his organs, stripping them of their functions until they were all transformed into charcoal, painting his insides as dark as the night sky without the stars.

He was used to acting on his wants, without a care as to who he would hurt in the process. He was familiar with the feeling, it didn’t bother him. He didn’t consider it a weakness. He thought it necessary, he would be strong enough for everyone else, those who couldn’t convert their urges into actions. He longed to take all the hatred in the world and store it within himself, the dark void that was left in the wake of the forest fire big enough to hold it all in.

Sasuke was a man made of desires. None of which could even compare to the raw, animalistic one he had for the golden haired boy next to him. It was the only craving he never allowed himself to fully act on. When it came to Naruto, he found he was always chasing half measures.

Sasuke never knew when this all consuming want started. He always thought Naruto was beautiful, even as kids. He especially loved Naruto’s big and round blue eyes, how they would shrink into a pair of crescent moons whenever he smiled. Sasuke often found himself smiling at the same time, his cheeks flushed and stretched.

When he was young, sometimes, if he was in a particularly bad mood, Sasuke would follow Naruto around. It was his luck that Naruto wasn’t particularly attentive to his surroundings. He enjoyed their physical proximity, but he would never let himself be known. Naruto was such an easy kid to entertain. Following him around the village, seeing him smile at everyone who crossed his path would tug at Sasuke’s heartstrings in a way he never thought he would feel again, so soon after his clan’s brutal demise. Observing Naruto be himself was the closest he believed he could ever get to experience joy again. He allowed himself to desire it.

He knew he could never befriend Naruto. He couldn’t afford a friend. He had just lost everyone he had ever loved, he couldn’t bear building bonds with someone only for them to be painfully taken away from him. He couldn’t bear seeing Naruto hurt. He shone too brightly for Sasuke’s world. Sasuke wouldn’t dare dim his light, he refused to be so selfish. He felt shame for even thinking about Naruto, terrified a high power from above would read into his head and play a sick joke on him, take Naruto away. Just like everyone else. The thought didn’t stop him from desiring Naruto’s hands made contact with his skin for longer when they duelled.

His desire transformed and intensified when he was 12. He felt Naruto’s breath on his face, warm and smelling of miso. He learned what it felt like to feel Naruto’s lips on his, dry and chapped against Sasuke’s own. He wished it would last longer than a split second. He wished Naruto wouldn’t pull back. He wished he had the courage to lean into Naruto’s warm mouth. He wished Naruto’s pinky finger would touch his. When Naruto pulled back, Sasuke copied the exact disgusted moves he made, pretending his heart didn’t break into a million pieces when the warmth of the kiss disappeared from his lips. He pretended to be annoyed when he got put into the same team with Naruto, kept his face neutral when Naruto complained. He did his best to ignore how fast his heart was beating in his chest.

That night he laid awake staring at the ceiling, his hand on his chest, feeling the beats of his unobedient heart. He allowed himself to think about what this all meant. He allowed himself to accept. His desire went beyond wanting to feel joy, Naruto was its object. He has finally put a name to it. He couldn’t ignore the tenderness taking over his heart, which is exactly why he would never act on his desire.

It had become a problem, he realized, as he jumped in front of Naruto to protect him. He knew he should have been thinking about his clan, the bodies of his parents surrounded by a pool of their own blood, Itachi, his revenge, Itachi under the moon telling him to be strong. None of that seemed to matter at the moment, Naruto’s safety was his only priority, and he wondered exactly when it had become that way. Revenge didn’t seem to matter to him anymore, Naruto’s existence was rays of sunshine penetrating its way through the dark and poisonous clouds in Sasuke’s head.

He thought it a noble way to die, to die for someone else. For Naruto specifically. He should’ve been thinking about his goals, but the only thoughts he could conjure seemed to be those of Naruto. The miso flavored kiss they shared, Naruto’s warm breath over Sasuke’s face, the wide eyed look on Naruto’s face when Sasuke started feeding him lunch with his own chopsticks, Naruto throwing his arm over Sasuke’s shoulders, Naruto’s smile with his eyes closed, Naruto asking if he and Sakura wanted to have ramen together at the end of every day. Sasuke always rejected, afraid it would make him grow even more dependent on Naruto than he already was. He would laugh at the turn of events if he had any strength left. Then his vision went completely dark.

When he reopened his eyes, he saw Sakura standing above him, tears in her eyes. He asked about Naruto, relieved he was safe and sound. He was more relieved that Naruto was okay than he did waking up himself. He couldn’t think about any of his other desires anymore, not with a mop of spiky blonde hair reaching out to pull him out and consuming him whole. He felt shame, the intensity of his feelings overwhelming, ashamed he nearly let his mother and father go, ashamed he almost died without keeping his promise. He wanted to cut Naruto off, right then and there, but he couldn’t see a way out of their entanglement without getting rid of half his heart in the process. 

So he stayed, feeling as pathetic as his father believed him to be. 

His weakness was once again proven as he stood in the forest, feeling teeth sinking into his shoulder. He felt disgusted with himself, unable to stop the serpent, wanting to rip off his skin where the unwanted lips touched him. 

Power, he was promised. Could obtaining this power help him get rid of the burning desire within him, causing him shame? Could he return to the way he was before? Before Naruto? Could he go back to thinking he only longed for joy, which Naruto spread, and not the boy himself? Could he remember what it felt like to have his entire life revolve around vengeance and the ghosts of the Uchiha compound? 

His thoughts went back to when he was 7, feet covered in his parents’ blood. The bodies had long been removed, but the blood stayed. He had to wipe the living room clean, pouring buckets over buckets of water. 

It had darkened to an ugly shade of brown when Sasuke gathered the courage to clean it, feeling sticky under Sasuke’s feet. He mopped and rubbed the floor, he felt like he had used thousands of bars of soap. His salty tears traveled down to his chin, later dripping down on the floor, blending in with the sticky mess. He wasn’t sure whether it was just his imagination, but the blood never went away. He didn’t know if he was the only one that could see it, he couldn’t verify it either as no one else ever visited him. No one ever came to the compound. He didn’t want them to. 

He made up his mind, he would choose the power. He felt disgusted with himself with each lick of the pointy, venomous tongue on his shoulder. His body didn’t feel like his, he felt the serpent man’s presence everywhere, overtaking his autonomy. Wanting his body. When it was over, he felt fundamentally changed, the last bit of his innocence taken away from him. 

He wanted to reject it, but his body didn’t feel like his anymore. He felt the ice cold wicked presence inside him, seeping into his organs, overtaking the fire that was his desire for Naruto. He did his best to ignore it, to move on with the mark on his shoulder, until Itachi returned. And he wanted Naruto. 

He wondered if this would be his fate until he died, his elder brother hunting down all those dear to him and forcing him to watch. 

He wouldn’t allow it this time. Not Naruto.

He was so sure he could succeed, until he faced his brother. Until he felt the fingers wrapped around his throat, squeezing and bruising. Itachi was telling him he didn’t have enough hatred in his heart. He could see Naruto from the corner of his eye, and it felt like his brother was right. How could he, when what he desired the most was sunshine personified? Red hot shame traveled through his body, and it was the last thought he had before he got transported back to the night he stood in his parents’ blood.

Shame was also what he felt the moment he opened his eyes, Sakura and Naruto by his side. He felt weak and worthless. He had disappointed his father, let his mother down, and proven everyone was right about him all along; he would never catch up to Itachi. 

For the first time, he looked at Naruto and felt disgust. Not with Naruto, but with himself. He had allowed this childish infatuation to get the better of him, to weaken him. He had to cut it loose, build his strength back up. So he did it the only way he knew how to: violence. He attacked with the intention to kill Naruto, to finally be alone, to seek revenge for his clan, his childhood. 

He struck until Kakashi stopped them, restraining Sasuke. 

He could feel his teeth itching with anger. His blood was boiling inside his veins. He wanted revenge, he wanted death, he wanted Itachi to pay for what he did. Who was Kakashi to deny him his given right? Who was he to stop Sasuke, when he was carrying the Sharingan? Everyone else that carried it was dead, massacred by the man he was longing to kill. 

Kakashi carried Sasuke’s blood, he owed his name that struck fear across nations to Sasuke’s family. But he was not one of them. He did not grow up in the edge of the village, being othered and ousted from the society. He did not know the customs of the Uchiha, he did not understand the meaning of fire. And fire consumed Sasuke’s entire being. He refused to be held down by Kakashi, a man he considered beneath him, with the Sharingan stolen from his clan. 

Weeks passed after his fight with Naruto, the moon changed from a full moon to a waning crescent when Sasuke finally made up his mind. He was leaving Konoha, he would go to Orochimaru to seek out the power promised to him. 

But of course Naruto followed him. He would follow Sasuke anywhere. It made Sasuke’s insides burn with desire, his stomach in knots with a feeling he couldn’t dare name yet. 

He liked being chased. He liked knowing Naruto would go to the ends of the Earth for him. 

It broke his heart. Because he knew their feelings were different. He wished Naruto would let him go, let him be alone. He couldn’t carry this love in his heart anymore, it consumed his entire being and didn’t leave room for anything else. He looked at Naruto unconscious on the ground, then his own bloody knuckles from the blows they had exchanged. He dropped to his knees just as the rain started. 

Naruto would never desire Sasuke the same way. Sasuke knew that, and he was okay with it. He didn’t think he would have the strength to walk away from Naruto if he knew there was any chance his feelings were reciprocated. He stood there in the rain, needles prickling into his skin from the inside, feeling them wherever Naruto hit him. Touched him. He couldn’t bring himself to move just yet, still buzzing from his contact with Naruto.

He stood there for what felt like ages, under the rain, staring at Naruto’s face. He was terrified to forget, so he tried his hardest to memorize. He wanted to remember even the tiniest details. The three whisker marks on each of his cheeks, the scar right above the left corner of his lip, the soft curve of his nose right below the high nose bridge, the tan skin Sasuke always thought looked good standing next to him, the chin he would always rub with his hands over when he was thinking hard about something, his thick eyebrows, expressive even while he was unconscious. Sasuke could read Naruto like a book from how animated his eyebrows were.

He wished he could see Naruto’s deep blue eyes and get sucked in them one last time, but he was met with his eyelids instead. Sasuke's own doing. So instead, he memorized the veins running through the soft skin, blue and green and purple. He wished he could hear the blood rushing through Naruto, making sure his own blood matched its flow. He wanted to put his hand on Naruto’s chest, feel his heartbeat, just to see if his heart was beating at the same time.

Then he let go.

It was the most difficult thing he ever had to do.

He chose to act on the absolutes he could achieve, instead of the maybes and almosts he had with Naruto. His thoughts cursed Itachi once again. He had finally found something, someone to live for, and it was once again taken away from him. He was forced to give it all up and go on a quest for revenge, with a man who ripped away his agency, his autonomy, his body. 

Years with Orochimaru felt never ending. Every day was the same: wake up, train, go back to sleep. Under constant surveillance. He could see the way Orochimaru’s tongue stuck out and licked his lips whenever Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He hated it. 

Sasuke wasn’t stupid, he knew Orochimaru only wanted him because of his eyes. The eyes that he carried proudly, the eyes that everyone chased, the ultimate weapon of his clan. 

He wasn’t going to let him have them. He wasn’t going to let Orochimaru have his body. He had a plan, let Orochimaru and Kabuto think they were successfully grooming Sasuke to be the next vessel. He was only letting them think that. When the time came, he would make his exit and pursue the vengeance he desired so badly since he was 7.

He spent the majority of his days in darkness. Orochimaru’s hideout was underground, and he could only leave when he was needed to run an errand, that’s when Sasuke would see the other kids used as Guinea pigs. If Orochimaru wanted to visit his laboratories and test subjects, he would take Sasuke with him so that he could always keep an eye out, make sure Sasuke didn’t escape. Sasuke would use these outings to familiarize himself with the others, learn their strengths and weaknesses. Find out what made them so unique that Orochimaru held on to them instead of just throwing them in front of Sasuke as training tools. 

He was used to his routine. It didn’t leave much room for thinking. Unwelcome thoughts rarely came to him now, other than the occasional dreams: Naruto running his hands through Sasuke’s hair, Naruto laughing, leaning into him with exaggerated puckered lips, Naruto smiling looking at Sasuke… When he had these dreams, he would wake up disoriented the next morning and make the promise to work twice as hard that day. These were the days Orochimaru disgusted him the most. Sometimes he just wanted to run his Chidori straight through his heart, kill him in an instant if it meant he would stop seeing the tongue flicking through the air while looking at Sasuke.

More often than not, he would have dreams of another pair of eyes though. Blood red instead of ocean blue. Trapping him in darkness, fueling him with the desire to kill. That was his motivation to go through with this life, train every day. 

He had gone numb. He didn’t even know how long he had been there, the muscles forming on his body was his only reference point. He knew he was close to his goal.

Until.

He stood on the edge of the cliff, staring down at the head as bright and yellow as the sun. Eyes as blue as the sky on a sunny day. He was here. He had come to Sasuke. Years must’ve passed. He had grown taller and leaner, his jaw had squared, he had more muscle on him. The whisker marks on his cheeks stretched longer now. He still had the baby fat around his face, but less prominent now. Sasuke felt like his lungs were being crushed under mountains while looking at him. Naruto was still heartbreakingly beautiful. And Sasuke wanted nothing more than to run towards him, forget everything that happened. Ask why it took him that long to find Sasuke. 

He didn’t do any of that. 

He just landed right next to Naruto, too scared to embrace him but too weak to avoid a touch. He put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder, almost hugging him but not quite. He spoke intently, a jolt of electricity traveling all over him, his nerves lighting up. Naruto called him his friend. The spark kept spreading. 

He couldn’t control his want, he thought it would be subsided with the passing of time. It hadn’t. He still wanted Naruto. More than he ever had. Overcome with desire, he chose to flee. Leave with Orochimaru and Kabuto. He transformed into smoke while Naruto watched. 

He changed after their meeting. He became moodier than usual, snapping at everyone and everything. He was stretched thin at all sides, wanting it all to stop, but also wanting to move on from everything. He wanted to run. He didn’t know where, he just wanted to run. Go back to Naruto. Go live in the forest, hunt and gather to survive. He wanted to find Itachi. He wanted to let everyone in the laboratories loose on Orochimaru and Kabuto. His head was a mess.

Orochimaru could see the change in him. The fact that he could tell irritated Sasuke even more. He needed to make a plan if he intended to ever chase what he came here for. He couldn’t have left Naruto for nothing. He wanted revenge, he wanted Itachi and he wanted to demand answers. 

He needed to kill Orochimaru. He knew he was going to steal away Sasuke’s body soon. He was already in a weakened state, Sasuke could easily take him down. Orochimaru had already taken enough away from him, Sasuke wasn’t going to give him his body too. He was going to face Itachi as himself. 

He needed a team to complete his mission. A team willing to die for him. Orochimaru occasionally took him along to his lab outings, and Sasuke had made a mental list of the unique abilities he was studying. He knew who he wanted: Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo. They all possessed powers that Sasuke thought would be useful. Funnily enough, they all reminded him of Naruto in a way: Suigetsu with how animated he was, Karin with her strong will, and Juugo still finding things to love in life despite humans refusing to connect with him. 

Killing Orochimaru was easier than he anticipated. He was in such a weak state Sasuke thought even his 13 year old self could’ve killed him. 

Collecting his team was easy. He knew they were all loyal to him, and being part of a team made him miss Naruto even more. 

And easier was locating Itachi, who wasn’t even hiding. Which infuriated Sasuke even more. Itachi still saw him as the kid whose forehead he flicked whenever Sasuke wanted an hour of his time. The weak school boy who couldn’t even stop him when he slayed their parents. 

It was time to show him how much stronger he had become, deliver the death he had desired since that night many years ago. 

He thought it would be easier to take Itachi’s life. He had imagined it thousands of times, but he never once thought he would feel grief over it. Even in his final moments, Itachi had belittled him, flicking Sasuke’s forehead, and Sasuke hated the gesture even more. But after Itachi collapsed, all Sasuke wanted to do was crawl next to his brother and ask him for a bedtime story like he did when they were kids.

He opened his eyes in a dark room he didn’t recognize, a man in a mask by his side. He introduced himself as Madara, and Sasuke wasn’t sure if he believed him. Madara told him Itachi’s story, what had led him to massacre his entire clan. The man told Sasuke he had even helped Itachi that night, that he couldn’t have done it without his help. Sasuke didn’t want to believe the story. It couldn’t have been true. 

Madara couldn’t have been the Madara from the legends.

Madara was long gone. 

Itachi slaughtered his entire clan just because.

Sasuke didn’t want to believe any of it. So why did he? 

It hit him all at once. Itachi had been his life’s goal. He spent the first half of his life looking up to his brother, and the latter half with the desire to kill him. He had been chasing a ghost his entire life. He was aiming for an objective that didn’t exist. 

Sasuke never mattered to Itachi as much as the village did. Even in his final moments, Itachi buried the secret deep within him, sealing it out of Sasuke’s reach.

He felt lost.

He felt angry. 

Angry at Itachi, but more so at the system that pushed him to it. He wanted the village to go down. 

He wanted the shinobi system to go down. 

They had taken everything from Itachi, from Sasuke himself. And Sasuke would make sure they would go down, he would do it himself. 

The villages needed to go down. He would start with Konoha, and then the rest of the five great villages. Then the smaller ones. Then the nations that relied on shinobi violence to hold on to their power. Power that came on the backs of child soldiers, just as he and Itachi once were. 

He would join the Akatsuki, do whatever they asked him to do, as long as it got him closer to the new desire forming in him, making its way through his bones: destruction. He would kidnap the Eight-Tails Jinchuriki. He would kill anybody that dared to step in his way. 

He entered the Five Kage Summit with only violence in his mind. Let them attack him. He didn’t care that he would be fighting against the five most powerful shinobi across all nations and their companions on his own. He had the Sharingan, the proud eyes of the Uchiha that they all feared. He had enough rage to take them all down, make them beg him for their lives. 

But he would not be sparing anybody’s life. He would not forgive. He would make them feel the desperation Itachi must have felt, 13 years old and a mass murderer. Simply because he was ordered to. Sasuke was ready to take the burden Itachi carried since that night, and distribute it to all those responsible. 

And it still wouldn’t be enough.

He would unleash all the violence he wanted to enact since that night, since he saw his parents in a puddle of blood, Itachi telling him he wasn’t even worth the effort to kill. He would make sure the whole world tasted the violence he witnessed. 

Seeing Danzo with the eyes stolen from his clan, thinking back to all the corpses he saw that night, like marionettes with their strings cut, Sasuke couldn’t help but wonder: Whose eyes had he planted on himself? Did one belong to his father? Were they eyes he saw every day? Were they eyes that smiled at him when he asked for help reaching for his kite stuck on a tree branch? 

He could taste the blood in his mouth. He intended to kill, more than he ever had before. The sheer amount of rage he had nearly blinded him. He wanted to ridicule Danzo, just as he had to the owners of the eyes on his body. He wanted to drag his corpse across the nations, tell the whole world this is how they’d all end up if they upheld the system. He was an avenger for all those wronged by the shinobis, and he would never stop handing out his justice everywhere. 

He couldn’t even stand to look at Sakura, not with what she represented. He couldn’t wait to kill Kakashi and rip the Sharingan out of his eye socket. To him, they had both failed him and Itachi. They had failed all the innocent people, and they needed to pay. 

He pulled his kunai out, intending to kill whoever was unlucky enough to cross his path. 

It wasn’t Sakura he cut. 

It slashed right over the cheeks with the whisker marks he adored. Another permanent scar added to Naruto’s collection. Their eyes met, and Sasuke swore he had never seen anger overtake Naruto like that. And he was the source of it. 

He felt proud. It was pleasing to know he could evoke such emotion in someone, even when he himself felt half dead and numb. 

Naruto tried to talk him out of it, of course he did. Naruto knew. He knew about the massacre, he knew about Itachi being forced into it. He knew how dark and corrupt the world was. He told Sasuke he understood. 

Sasuke naturally responded by trying to kill him. He wanted to succeed. He wanted to sever Naruto out of his heart. He didn’t care whether this action would hurt in the future. 

Then Naruto told him he was the only person who could bear Sasuke’s hatred. Sasuke was his responsibility alone. He offered to die with Sasuke, if it came to that. 

Sasuke didn’t speak. He couldn’t.

He remembered what it felt like to have something to fight for. He remembered love, the abundance of love he felt for the boy standing in front of him, telling him it was okay to be angry at the world. He understood. Sasuke felt seen. 

It took everything in him to not run into Naruto’s arms, let himself go like a sack of potatoes and beg for love. And Naruto would of course give it to him. Not in the twisted way Sasuke wanted though. 

So he left with Tobi, leaving Naruto and his offer for a future together behind. Not that he didn’t want to accept, he just didn’t understand what it all meant.

He needed to figure it out. Grasp what it meant to be a shinobi. How to stop the cycle of hatred and destruction that followed them wherever they went. He wanted to know what made a village a village, see where the elders had gone wrong.

And he would do it with Itachi’s eyes. His brother forever a piece of him now. 

Hashirama, the God of Shinobi, was nothing like Sasuke expected. He couldn’t help but take a liking to him, simply because he reminded him of Naruto. Tan skin and a contagious laughter. Everything excited Hashirama and he always reacted, not caring whether the behavior was appropriate for someone of his stature. He talked more than all the other Hokages, and Sasuke listened, ignoring the dirty glances the Second was throwing his way. He tried to stay focused on the story fully, but his eyes at times wandered off to the Fourth, marveling at the similarity between him and Naruto.

And eventually, Sasuke finally understood what the fatal flaw was for the shinobis. Everyone carried hatred in their hearts. All the shinobis. The system needed someone to do it all for them. Someone to devour all the sins of the shinobi, and be okay with that. Someone ready to give everything up for the cause, and not expect anything back in return. Someone to spend their whole life alone, not know the happiness that comes with having a companion. They would seal away all the hatred, and tame its power. Sasuke made a decision, they were going to the battlefield. And then after the war, he would kill his dearest. 

Naruto welcomed Sasuke when he entered the battlefield, just as he knew he would. They took down their enemies one by one. He thought their victory was inevitable, the two of them taking on the world. 

Until everyone was sealed inside their cocoons, consuming their life forces. Sasuke protected them. Him, Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura and Obito were the only ones left alive. He knew the faith of the world weighed on their shoulders. He was used to it, he knew Naruto was too. He knew they were strong, the two of them alone would be enough. The others only felt like dead weight. 

He allowed Naruto to practice the jutsu he had told Sasuke about. Sasuke tried so hard to control his laughter when Naruto first told him about it. Leave it to Naruto to plan and develop such a ridiculous tactic in the middle of a war, but Sasuke knew how intelligent and intuitive Naruto was when it came to fighting. He went along with it, and it worked. For a while.

They fought in perfect sync. It was as if Sasuke never left Naruto. Their bodies, their minds, their souls; all intertwined, in tandem. Even their breaths matched, hearts pumping at the same time. Long ago, Sasuke had wondered if their bloods flowed at the same speed. Now he was sure they did. They were made for each other. Nobody would ever love anybody as much as Sasuke loved Naruto, nobody would desire anybody more. It wasn’t fair, he couldn’t act on his desires when they consumed all of his being. Maybe Naruto would have someone else, but Sasuke knew himself. He was the type of person to only love once, and never again. 

The world kept changing, Kaguya transporting them into one after the other. Sasuke’s feelings stayed the same, he felt the intensity burn him from the inside even when he found himself alone on a planet he didn’t know. 

His thoughts went back to Naruto, wondering how he was doing. The thought weakened him, his love for Naruto weakened him. He knew what he needed to do after the war, challenge Naruto and kill him himself. With Naruto alive, he would always have a light in his heart. He didn’t want that. He wanted to gather all the hatred in the world inside himself, purifying it. There wouldn’t be any more Itachis, no more children taking on the hatred of the adults, no more families torn apart, no more massacres. Sasuke would bear it all, hold himself responsible for everything, never let anyone else go through the pain he did. For that he needed to be alone. But he hadn’t been alone since he was 12 and put into the same team as Naruto. 

He knew Naruto’s existence meant love. He sought hatred, and when he killed Naruto he knew he would kill his heart as well. 

He lost Obito, the only other Uchiha besides himself. 

He wondered what the Uchiha compound Obito knew of was like, before the Kyubi attack, before the Uchihas were forcefully relocated further outside the village. Was there a playground similar to the one Sasuke always played at across the market, the one he always scraped his knees at? Were the shop stalls operated by the same people Sasuke knew of? He assumed they would both remember different things. It didn’t matter now though, the compound was gone, and so was Obito. There wouldn’t be another Uchiha to rebuild. Sasuke would finally become the sin-eater of the shinobi. 

The Uchiha would be distant history, whose demise led to peace in the world. 

He knew what he needed to do as he delivered the final blow to Kaguya alongside his old team. Kaguya went down with promises to return. Sasuke knew she wouldn’t. 

He asked Naruto to duel before releasing the world of their cocoons.  

They ran towards each other, Sasuke ready to kill, Naruto ready to meet any blow he might throw at him. 

With each punch, each touch, each jutsu, Sasuke’s resolve got weaker. But he had to power through it. Even when they were fighting against each other, they were in perfect sync. Sasuke’s heart ached. Fighting each other had always been their most intimate act. No one had ever understood each other as well as he and Naruto understood one another, no one had ever been this intimate with anyone. For the outsiders, it would seem like senseless violence. But Sasuke knew each violent act they enacted on one another came from a place of love and intimacy. 

No one will ever want you as much as I do. You will never have this with anyone else. Nobody would see you, in your most animalistic form, throwing punches. This is reserved for me and me alone. No one else will bring out your most raw emotions.

Sasuke almost felt proud of himself, knowing he was the only one that could rile Naruto up this much. His body was buzzing all over, like he was caught in an electric shock.   

He was on Naruto’s lap, hitting the face under him as hard as he could. Sasuke liked the pain he felt from hitting Naruto. They always understood each other the best when they fought, and taijutsu was his preferred method of sparring as it created the most chances for physical contact. 

The blood on his knuckles mixed with the blood on Naruto’s face. Sasuke almost let his animalistic urges take over, he wanted so badly to lean down and sink his teeth into Naruto’s exposed neck, draw blood there. Everything about their violence felt devastatingly intimate. It always had been when it came to them, Sasuke always believed he was transformed into another planet with just the two of them when he and Naruto exchanged fists. It was beautiful. 

Naruto finally found the strength to lift himself up and headbutt Sasuke. He welcomed it. He would welcome any pain caused by Naruto. 

He charged with whatever chakra he had left in his body, the electricity stored from the fight, charged with each touch, each bruise left on his body by Naruto. He focused it all on the Chidori in his left hand. The hand he was ready to kill Naruto with, powered by the love he felt for Naruto. 

He saw Naruto coming with his Rasengan. Seemed fitting. This was always how it was going to end. 

They crashed into one another. 

Then they collapsed. 

Sasuke closed his eyes. He could rest now. He was finally alone. 

When he was finally able to open them, he heard the heavy breathing from another chest. Naruto. He was alive. After all this, he was still alive. He was still speaking to Sasuke as if he hadn’t just tried to kill him. 

Why would he go that far for me?

What does friendship mean to him?

Sasuke’s chest ached with each word coming out of Naruto’s mouth. Friends. That’s what he had to bear for the rest of his life, knowing he wanted more, so much more, more than what Naruto could possibly give him. He would try, because that’s who Naruto was. But Sasuke was selfish and desperate, he would never be satisfied, his hunger would never satiate. He wanted to crawl under Naruto’s skin, bite him from the inside, take over his organs, and be the one his heart was pumping for. Could Naruto give this to him? Could he ask this of Naruto? He had already given too much up for Sasuke, gave up on his dreams, gave up on a future, just so he could die with him. 

A while ago Naruto told Sasuke he would die with Sasuke and meet him in the afterlife. Sasuke decided he would go first. The love he held in his heart since he was a kid would be preserved in death. He would hold it there until Naruto had lived a long life, until he was ready to join Sasuke. Sasuke saw no other end to his story. Shame running through his veins, mixing with the desire licking through his organs. He wanted to give Naruto a happy ending, and there was no reason for himself to stay alive.

Sasuke made up his mind. He needed to die. He couldn’t be here sucking Naruto dry when he claimed to love him more than anyone else ever had. He would make the ultimate sacrifice and give up on his own future, just so Naruto could have one. 

Naruto started yelling at him after announcing his decision, not angrily, but with desperation. His words came out disjointed. He was just screaming out protests, telling Sasuke he would never accept a world without him in it. Sasuke could almost imagine Naruto’s tongue twisting at the words, his brain unable to catch up with his mouth. Losing track of his words while talking about what Sasuke meant to him. His face was swollen and banged up. His clothes were torn off. He had never looked more beautiful to Sasuke. 

He came to realize the ultimate sacrifice would be to live for Naruto. Knowing his one and only would never really be his alone. Spend the rest of his life sharing Naruto with the rest of the world. It seemed a fitting punishment for all his sins, all the violence he put out into the world.

Tears started spilling before he could stop himself. He would stay next to Naruto for the rest of his life, regardless of the pain it may cause him. His eyes shifted to the blood gushing out of their arms, connecting and forming a crimson puddle of its own. He would reach out and put his hand in it if he had the energy. Rub their mixture over his chest, right where his heart beat. They both drifted into unconsciousness yet again.

When he woke up, Sakura was there. 

He looked at Naruto, smiling and laughing in spite of everything. Making conversation with Sakura. He couldn’t help but smile, his muscles contracted and ached from the unfamiliar act. He welcomed it. 

Naruto was naturally the one to initiate their first kiss. The night after the valley, when they were both recovering in the hospital, when Sasuke almost caused Naruto to bleed to death. The one good thing he had, the sun he spent his life orbiting around, almost died because of him. This is what he was thinking about when Naruto walked up to his bed in the dark and plopped himself down next to Sasuke, his head on Sasuke’s right arm, and his left arm draped over Sasuke’s chest. Sasuke knew Naruto could feel how fast his heart was beating. Like a newly caged bird, believing it could escape only if it flapped its wings fast enough. He was scared of himself, of what he might do, desire overtaking his entire being with Naruto so close.

They laid like that for a while. Sasuke could feel Naruto’s eyes on his face, silently begging for a sign of acknowledgement. He couldn’t respond, he didn’t trust himself well enough. He was willing for Naruto to drop it, but his best friend was never the one to give up and back down. He of all people should’ve known that.

Naruto finally broke the silence. “You are too, you know?”

Sasuke finally turned his head to Naruto, a questioning look on his face. Naruto understood what his look meant. He always did know Sasuke the best. No words needed. He gave Sasuke a soft smile and brought his hand up to Sasuke’s hair, brushing his fringe away from his eyes.

“My one and only,” Naruto whispered, his thumb sliding down Sasuke’s nose. It brushed against Sasuke’s lips for a fleeting moment, causing Sasuke to stop breathing all together. Naruto finally settled on taking Sasuke’s chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing him to look up and directly into the impossibly blue pair of eyes next to him.

Naruto leaned forward with a smile on his face. Sasuke went dizzy. He laid there as Naruto pressed his lips against his, a peck that sent shock waves all over Sasuke’s body. Did Naruto want him the same way? Did Naruto understand what this little touch did to Sasuke? Was he aware he had just fundamentally changed Sasuke’s life forever, just when he had made peace with the fact Naruto was a desire he could never act upon? Did he understand the carnal need he had just lit inside Sasuke? Now that Sasuke knew what it felt like to have a real kiss, not the one they had when they were 12, how was he to go back just wanting, desiring?

Naruto would be cruel to deprive him of this feeling blossoming in his chest.

Sasuke pulled back, he could feel the anger spreading over his face. Naruto stared back at him, eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Did I do something wrong?”

Sasuke tried so hard to not scream. “Why did you—“ he swallowed, “You can’t do things like this. Not when you know. Of course you know. How could you not?”

Naruto blinked rapidly a few times. “I kissed you.” 

Sasuke stared in response. 

“Why do you think I kissed you, Sasuke?” 

Sasuke didn’t know. He couldn’t dare think it was because Naruto wanted him the same, that Naruto loved him the same. He didn’t want to brace the heartbreak. He was perfectly content keeping Naruto as his friend, giving him all his love, watching from afar when he found the girl he was going to spend the rest of his life with. But he couldn’t go back to his resolve if Naruto kept giving him false hopes, unaware of the effect he had on Sasuke. This too would be one of those instances that ended with Naruto telling Sasuke he was his friend, and Sasuke didn’t know how many heartbreaks he had left in him anymore. He didn’t respond, instead looked intently into Naruto’s eyes, praying he would understand Sasuke’s feelings, praying he would understand he would rather sink into the ground than hear the word “friend” again. 

At the same time, he could see the cruel irony in their situation, him silently begging Naruto to acknowledge him, despite spending years being chased by him. 

Naruto sighed at Sasuke’s lack of response, caressing Sasuke’s cheek with his thumb. “I love you,” he suddenly broke the silence, shocking Sasuke to his core. 

“You called me your friend!” Sasuke choked out.

Naruto looked at him with his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Is there a rule saying you can’t be in love with your best friend?”

His body moved before his mind could catch up, within seconds he was straddling Naruto’s lap and kissing him with all the strength he had left. He poured all the love in his body onto his lips, to where they connected. 

When the boy under him pulled back mid makeout session, Sasuke watched the spit pull apart and sever, much to his dismay. 

Naruto swept Sasuke's hair back, locking his eyes with him. “You're beautiful,” Naruto said, simply. His eyes were as bright as a sunny day sky. A look of pure adoration. 

Sasuke looked right into the pair of blue eyes under him. He choked up. He couldn’t trust himself to speak. How could he be loved like this? How did he even deserve this? 

“You don’t have to respond,” Naruto continued. “I just want you to know how much I adore you.”

Sasuke leaned in one more time, overcome with desire, not wanting the kiss to stop. He could use his words later, tell Naruto he was the sole light in his life, how he’s never wanted anything more, that he loved, loved, loved him. But for now, he only wanted to satiate the hunger within. 

Later in the night, when Sasuke had stolen all the kisses he had desired over the years, he pulled at Naruto’s ear. Naruto redirected his attention from Sasuke’s neck and looked into his eyes. 

“Idiot,” Sasuke said with a smile. “I love you too.” He swore he had never seen Naruto smile like that. 

Things moved quickly after that. There was never any doubt in Naruto’s mind that Sasuke would live with him and who was Sasuke to deny Naruto of anything? He wanted to spend every moment by his side anyways. It wasn’t like Naruto kept him by force either, he knew the painful memories Konoha held for Sasuke. He often talked about traveling together, seeing the world. 

Sasuke knew it would never happen. He had quit the shinobi life, he never went on missions. But Naruto, his stupid, forgiving, full of love Naruto was still working for the village. Despite everything, Naruto loved this hellish village that never treated him right. Sasuke thought Naruto was too good and Konoha didn’t deserve him. But he still allowed himself to dream of a future where Naruto would whisk him away to lands far away, away from the shinobi world where no one knew their names. It was a good dream to have. 

Sasuke was never a good sleeper, his insomnia had significantly improved since he started sleeping next to Naruto, but he still had nights where he laid wide awake, trying to control his breathing and match it to his lover lightly snoring beside him. 

Some nights though, he actually preferred being awake. He would watch Naruto's face all night. He never told him that, he had the mind to know it was weird on his part. Sometimes, if Naruto was tired and his sleep deep enough, Sasuke would glide his slender fingers around Naruto's beautifully vibrant face. His tan skin a contrast to Sasuke’s pale one. Sasuke would smile at himself at times, thinking about how everything about them is the complete opposite of each other. Both one side of a coin. Their souls only came to this earth to find and complete each other. He would sigh of relief when he thought of this, forever grateful Naruto never gave up on him. He would continue tracing patterns on Naruto's face. His cheeks rosey pink, his lips bitten and swollen from Sasuke’s kisses, his blonde hair stuck on his forehead damp from sweat, and his lovely whisker marks. How Sasuke adored Naruto's whisker marks. 

Even before the Uchiha massacre, Sasuke was drawn to Naruto. He saw the blonde boy with whisker marks on the first day of school and was in awe of him. Naruto was everything Sasuke wasn’t: confident, loud, and friendly. However, everyone avoided him much to Sasuke’s surprise. He would go home and pester Itachi for hours about this blonde kid, and why everyone avoided him. He resolved to do the same, never fully knowing why but not wanting to stand out either. A decision he still regrets to this day. He wasted years avoiding the love of his life, his one and only, even after he knew he was insurmountably in love with him. 

Most of the memories he has of Naruto were of his love being miserable because of him, and he hated that. He hated how much agony he caused his bright boy. These late nights watching Naruto, touching his face freely, was his way of making up for the time he lost. He was just trying to get the time back, carve Naruto in the deepest crevices of his brain, make sure he would never forget. He wanted to remember Naruto being peaceful by his side, not in misery because of his actions. 

Sometimes he couldn’t believe Naruto loved him. Nothing had ever gone his way his entire life, he was sure he could never have the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world. He was an Uchiha through and through, cursed to love too much, too deeply. Boyfriend didn’t feel like an appropriate term for what they had though, it felt so… simple. What Naruto was to him was so much more. He was his curse and blessing at the same time, his savior. Sasuke never believed in a higher power before, but now every night as he watched Naruto's chest rise and fall in his sleep and listened to his light snoring, he would squeeze his eyes shut and plead. Please don’t take him away from me. Let me keep him. Forever. 

He didn’t know who he was pleading to, he just found comfort in it. He wanted to believe he would never fuck up, never make Naruto want to leave him. He knew he would never be the one to leave the boy with the whisker marks across his cheeks and the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. And Naruto always reserved his brightest smiles for Sasuke’s eyes only. 

Sasuke loved when Naruto wore his clothes. It was such a peaceful sign of domesticity. He loved seeing Naruto walk around their apartment with Sasuke’s hoodie on, his brain only able to produce one word over and over: mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. Naruto caught on soon enough. He would catch Naruto walking around in his shirts when they went out, or he would wear Sasuke’s sweatpants as pajama bottoms. 

One night, when they both got in their bed, Naruto hugged him from behind as usual. This was Sasuke's favorite thing in the world. Naruto’s body was always running hot, Sasuke always felt cold. This beautiful boy laying with him was the only one who could melt the icicles that had formed in Sasuke’s heart over decades. He felt himself disappear into the hug. Naruto rolled him over, making Sasuke look at his stupidly attractive grinning face. He couldn't help but touch his whisker marks, sighing with content. Naruto's grin grew even wider. 

“You like it, don’t you?” he questioned. 

Sasuke drew his eyebrows together. “With you? like this? You already know I do.”

“Not this, I obviously know you like this!” he leaned in to plant a kiss on Sasuke’s nose, Sasuke felt his heart grow 3 sizes. “I mean when I wear your clothes? I know you do.”

Sasuke blushed. He didn't know he was being so obvious, then again, Naruto had always been able to read him like a book. No point denying it, Sasuke decided to be open with his feelings. “It feels like you belong to me.” 

Naruto rewarded his honesty with that bark-like loud laugh of his that Sasuke adored. His head tilted back, eyes like crescent moons, mouth open, canines on full display, blonde hair messy, whiskers stretched out, throat exposed, chest bare. He looked perfect. Sasuke couldn’t help but reach out and bury his face in the crook of Naruto's neck, peppering small kisses there. 

Naruto tightened his grip around Sasuke’s shoulder. He pulled back, reaching out for Sasuke’s face, and he lifted Sasuke's chin with his fingers. He swept away the fringe off Sasuke’s face, then dragged his thumb across his lips. He was staring directly into Sasuke’s eyes, and Sasuke stared right back. 

“I always belong to you.” 

Sasuke felt his heart explode at that, and attacked Naruto’s lips with a surge of desire he hadn’t felt in years. He sucked on Naruto’s tongue, silently asking him to do the same. He always did. Naruto knew Sasuke’s body better than Sasuke did himself. He loved gliding his tongue over Naruto's fangs when they kissed. He wished they would cut his tongue every time he did, so he could have the salty and warm reminder of their kiss in his mouth when they pulled back, as the web of spit connecting their lips was only fleeting. The ache on his tongue reminded him how he belonged to Naruto, his favorite person in the world. 

He stayed possessive, wanting the whole world to know they belonged to each other, no one else. He kept leaving love bites all over Naruto’s neck, not caring who would see them. He would walk over to the Hokage’s office every single day to have lunch with Naruto. He had gotten used to the Ichiraku special every day at 1pm like clockwork. Naruto would put his arms around Sasuke’s shoulders. Sasuke never pushed back. After lunch, he would usually hang out with Sakura, whose presence Sasuke liked a lot better now that there was no crush to speak of. 

He had grown even more fond of Sakura in the 2 years he and Naruto had been together, noticing things he never had before. She was possibly the most intelligent person in the village, and Sasuke never imagined it but they had very similar tastes in books. He knew whatever Sakura enjoyed, he would too and vice versa. Sometimes Sakura would come over and help Sasuke cook. Those days she would also stay for dinner. Sasuke liked the simplicity of it all. They were just old friends, exchanging book recommendations and affectionately gossipping about Naruto in the kitchen. 

Later he would work on the garden they had started on Naruto’s balcony. They had all sorts of flowers and vegetables. Ino had given them tips on how to grow each and every one of them. Sasuke was grateful for that. 

He still had nightmares from time to time about Itachi and his family, of his time with Orochimaru. Some nights when Naruto was away on missions and the bed was empty and cold, Sasuke swore he could feel the snake scales sliding over his body, creeping in from his toes, looping around his legs, squeezing his torso and chest until it reached his neck. It paralyzed Sasuke with fear. The neck was the worst part. Sasuke could feel the cold wet tongue licking him, teeth sinking in to mark him. He did not want to be marked by anyone except Naruto. He had been restrained all his life, by his clan, by his father, by his brother, by Orochimaru, by the village. Especially by the village. He did not want to go back to that. His home, his land, his loyalty, his gravity were all Naruto. 

“You are it for me,” Sasuke said on a particularly hot summer day. They were sunbathing on Naruto’s balcony with what little space was left of it from all the plants they were growing. Each of them sucking on an orange flavored popsicle. He couldn’t bear to look at Naruto. “I will never love anything this much.” Naruto didn’t say anything back, he just looked at him and grinned, fangs on full display. This is happiness, Sasuke thought.

The week after, Naruto came home fidgeting. He looked nervous. He had something important to say. Sasuke could feel electricity forming in the pit of his stomach, knowing Naruto would never leave him but worried he might. 

“Out with it,” he spat out. He didn’t have the patience to wait for Naruto to start speaking. Especially when it was obvious he was nervous. He prepared himself for the worst of it. He doesn’t want me anymore. 

He couldn’t have guessed what Naruto said in a million years. 

“I quit.” 

Sasuke stared at Naruto’s face in disbelief. 

“I’m not the Hokage in training anymore. I want a future with you. A real one. No ghosts. Start packing Sasuke, we’re going on that never ending trip we always talked about!”

What? Naruto is giving up his dream for me?

He never meant for this to happen. He thinks back to the time they spent together, in this apartment. Was he that unhappy? Did Naruto see right through him? Was it so obvious he was only here because Naruto was here? He did not want to be the reason why Naruto would give up on something he had been dreaming of his whole life. “Don’t,” he managed to say. 

Naruto looked at him with confusion in his eyes. “Why not? It was taking too much of my time and I would rather be traveling and doing cool ninja shit and seeing the world and I know you would too!” He was grinning, that idiot. As if it would make Sasuke happy that he was giving up on something he had been dreaming of his whole life. Sasuke had taken enough from him, he could never forgive himself if he cost Naruto his dream future. 

“You’ve wanted this your whole life. Ever since the day I saw you, you always said you would become the Hokage. Why are you giving up on this? Naruto, I’m not worth it!” He saw Naruto’s jaw clench at that. 

“Never say that again,” Naruto said, showing his fangs. “Only I get to decide on that. And to me you are. You are my world Sasuke.” A shiver ran down Sasuke’s spine. 

“I know what memories this village holds for you. I know you better than you know yourself. Don’t lie to me. I want you to be happy, and yes, it is one of the reasons why I chose to do this. But it is not the only reason.”

Naruto took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking. About what Konoha means to me.” Sasuke didn’t interrupt. “And I don’t know if I ever belonged, nor if I ever will belong. What I mean to these people… They don’t see me as a human being. I am a ‘hero,’ whatever that means. All the people that shunned me and yelled at me when I was a kid. And I don’t wish them any harm! I really don’t! But I’m thinking, do they really value me or do they just feel like they owe their lives to me now? And then I kept thinking, why did I even want to be the Hokage in the first place? Then it hit me, I simply wanted acknowledgement, proof I was part of the village. Proof I mattered. That people cared about me. You were the first person to give me everything I craved for, to acknowledge me and see me worthy. From that point on you became my goal and everything I aspired for. And then I started thinking about you, everything the village holds for you. If it is this painful for me, it must be even more so for you. But it wasn’t a decision I made solely based on that. With you by my side, I have achieved what I was working towards. I don’t need a title to feel whole when my life has been the most complete it’s ever been. Ever since that night at the Valley.” 

“Also, I don’t want to be the Hokage anymore.” Naruto continued explaining. “It’s just– it’s too much paperwork you know? I thought it would be more entertaining. More adventurous. But no! Kakashi Sensei just sits at a desk all day reading and signing papers. He never goes on missions. I had to learn a bunch of legal stuff relating to the village. It just takes up too much space in my mind. And it’s time consuming. I can’t do the whole formality. I never thought it would be so…” he pulled a face before his next word, “...boring! Yeah! I don’t want to do that for however many years.”

Sasuke did the only thing he could think to do at the moment: sprint towards Naruto and wrap his arm around him as tightly as he could. He wanted to devour the boy in his arm, to crawl under his skin and make a home for himself there. Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s head and kissed his cheeks in response. “So, where to, Mr. Uchiha?” Naruto asked, grinning. 

“Anywhere but here,” was Sasuke’s response. 

It only took them 2 days to get ready for a journey they planned to never end. Naruto wanted to travel to the Land of Eddies and visit what was left of Uzushiogakure, see where his mom was born. Sasuke was okay with that. He was okay with anything as long as Naruto stood next to him. Besides, he could always pick the next destination. 

The morning they were supposed to leave, they carefully carried each plant they had grown on their balcony to the Yamanaka house. Ino had promised to take care of them. It was bittersweet saying goodbye to 2 years’ worth of labor in exchange for a fresh start. 

They bid their farewells to everyone in front of Ichiraku’s as Naruto finished his final bowl of ramen. They told everyone they would write often. Sakura pulled both of them into a bear hug, saying she would come to find them with her fists if they didn’t keep their promise.

Sasuke was walking towards the village gates when Naruto pulled him to the other side. “Let’s take the long route,” he said. 

Sasuke followed Naruto around, until he finally figured out where they were walking to. He hadn’t been there in years, he had no idea what it looked like anymore. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Where are we going?” he asked Naruto, his voice on edge. 

Naruto simply shrugged and smiled. “I thought you might want to see it one last time. We can skip if you don’t. I just thought… Did I think wrong?” His voice sounded desperate when he asked the question. Sasuke had to think about it a little bit. Was he wrong? He took a moment to fully take it in. No, he hadn’t thought wrong. Sasuke didn’t answer Naruto’s question, instead he just took Naruto’s hand in his own and led the way. He smiled when he heard Naruto release a sigh of relief. 

Sasuke took the sight in when they finally arrived at the Uchiha compound. It was in ruins as he expected, houses torn apart and weed growing everywhere. It didn’t look like anything now, but he remembered how once it was his whole world. 

Naruto walked over to him and put one arm around Sasuke’s waist. With his other hand, he carefully pulled out a flower from his pocket. He held it out for Sasuke to take. It was a daffodil, Sasuke knew it was from their balcony. 

“I thought you might want to say goodbye.” 

Sasuke teared up, eyes going back and forth between the flower in his hand, Naruto’s face, and the ruins of what was once his house. He saw the living room floor, the hardwood he so diligently wiped and washed but always remained bloody. He finally had the courage to look at it again. It was just dust and overgrown weeds, no blood. He held Naruto’s hand, the daffodil crushed between their hands, but Sasuke didn’t care. He was finally ready. 

“This is where I saw them,” he told Naruto. “My mom and my dad. Blood coming out. It was everywhere, I had to clean it myself. I stopped entering this room. I always imagined it was covered in blood, that I couldn’t clean it off well enough.” He drew in a shaky breath. “I can’t see any blood here now.” 

Naruto didn’t say anything, he just squeezed his hand. Sasuke felt grateful. He placed the daffodil on the floor, and turned his back to leave. As they walked through the ruins of what was once Sasuke’s home, Sasuke took in the sight of Naruto at the compound. Home didn’t need to be a place, because he very much felt like the boy holding his hand was more of a home to him than any place ever had been. The only thing he could return to and would welcome him with open arms. 

And he thought he deserved it after all. He deserved to be loved. If Naruto loved him, it must mean something and he swore he would spend the rest of his life making Naruto happy. 

All of Sasuke’s desires were half measure actions when it came to Naruto. He always wondered what it would feel like to go all in. Now he finally does. And it is more than he has ever wished for.