Chapter Text
It was at age five that Yuuri had first dreamed about his soulmate. He found himself in at a familiar, but bland ice skating rink. It was like the Ice Castle’s rink he went to with Yuuko. The thing was, Yuuri didn't feel cold, he felt a slight heat thrumming through his skin and the soft caress of his coat against his arms.
Yuuri looked up to see a foreign older boy skating against the ice. He seemed to be around eight or nine years old. Yuuri found himself captivated by his ethereal beauty and the fluidity in his movements; as though the boy was an angel. Is this what soulmates are? He thought, his face gaining a tinge of red when he saw the boy perform a jump. Should I talk to him? I don't know what I should say I-
He was snapped out his thoughts when he heard a voice call to him. He focused on the pretty boy in front of him. His eyes were a gradient of cyan and cerulean, lit up with joy. While he was thinking Yuuri hadn’t noticed the boy skate up to him.
He spoke again and Yuuri couldn't understand his words. He tilted his head in confusion and tried to articulate his thoughts in Japanese. His soulmate had a similar expression when Yuuri spoke. They both looked down at the ice and Yuuri felt a twinge of disappointment. How can I learn more about him if I can’t talk with him?
“Do you eh, English?” The boy asked.
Yuuri made a small gesture, he knew a bit from the little his parents taught him. It was only simple greetings and goodbyes.
“My name is Viktor!” He took ahold of Yuris hand and kissed it. “I'm pleased to meet you!”
Yuuri blushed at the affectionate display. “H-hello, Viktor, I’m Yuuri.” He bowed in Viktor’s direction. He mumbled a Japanese greeting when his young brain couldn't think of anymore English words.
Viktor’s smile widened and took Yuuri’s other hand and led him to the middle of the rink. Yuuri was slightly wobbly on his skates, especially since Viktor kept their hands close. But it didn't matter, Viktor's smile was contagious, and Yuuri couldn't help but smile back. His bright, innocent eyes shining happily.
“Yuuri.” Viktor said, looking straight into Yuuri’s own caramel eyes. “Skate with me.”
Yuuri couldn't understand most of what he said, but he got the idea when Viktor started to pull Yuuri along with him as he glided across the rink.
Yuuri and Viktor skated for what felt like hours, their stamina never catching up to them in their shared heaven. The language barrier was difficult, but they knew that they would learn English eventually. They danced, skated, and laughed through the course of the night. Yuuri couldn't have been happier.
Then Viktor was gone and Yuuri’s vision faded into black.
Yuuri woke up to the sunlight in his face that morning. He shifted his small and plump body against the covers of his bed and stretched. He was rubbing his eyes when it hit him: Viktor, a dance, ice. It was still a blur with only brief images entering his mind of the dream. He jumped out of bed and ran towards the kitchen, excited to tell his mother about his dream.
Ever since then, Yuuri had a dream with Viktor every night. Sometimes Yuuri was too excited to go to bed and only got to spend an hour with Viktor before his soulmate woke up.
Yuuri asked his mom about why he only spent a few hours with Viktor instead of all night. His mother had told him it was because they weren't asleep at the same time. It made her remind him to sleep early so he could spend time with Viktor. Yuuri had nodded eagerly before digging into his katsudon.
Yuuri spent his days going to school, studying English at home, learning ballet with Minako-Sensei, and learning figure skating at the ice castle. He spent his nights talking to Viktor and skating with him.
It wasn't until Yuuri was twelve that he realized his Viktor was Viktor Nikiforov, the ice skater and his idol. He had noticed that Viktor and his dreams had lessened. Around that time Yuuri had distracted himself with his idol Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri found himself drawn to his eyes and the way he moved. Yuuri had a new motivation to skate that wasn't his soulmate. His Viktor must be in a different timezone, which means their nightly visits have come to a halt. Yuuri leads dreamless nights and his heart breaks a little every time he wakes up without seeing his soulmate.
Yuuri couldn't help but feel neglected. He couldn't help the anxiety twist and turn in his stomach at the thought of going through another dreamless night. Maybe he's sick of me. Yuuri thought, tears welled up in his eyes. Yuuri was determined at this point to dream about his soulmate again, at least to get him not to give up on him yet.
That night, Yuuri went to bed early, making sure to sleep for as long as he could get away with. He had made sure he ate enough Katsudon to lull him to sleep faster. It was easier said than done. He could feel his heart beat wildly and his limbs felt stiff. Yuuri forced himself to relax against the cool pillow. His breath slowed and his mind thought nothing but Viktor.
Yuuri was in the same familiar skating rink as he had been in his entire life. If he was here, it meant his soulmate would be there soon as well. Yuuri smiled at that information, and started to perform some moves that he had learned at the Ice Castle. Simple jumps were only allowed since he was young. This was a dream, and Yuuri felt like he could do anything.
“Yuuri…?” A voice called out and Yuuri stopped skating. He looked over to where he heard the voice come from.
Yuuri smiled and laughed, his soulmate was here! Finally, after many weeks of going without seeing him- he'd thought they were gone. Yuuri glided his blades against the ice as fast as he could to rush into Viktor's open arms. “Viktor! I thought… you're back!”
Yuuri looked up at his soulmate, staring into those familiar bright blue eyes, full of life. Viktor stared back, and he smiled. “Yuuri, I missed you.” Viktor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head. “I hope we can meet soon one day.”
Yuuri agreed immediately, his face heated up at the feel of Viktor’s soft lips against his skin. Even if it had been awhile, something was off to him. Yuuri looked up and studied his Viktor. His eyes widened when he realized who his soulmate was.
It was completely obvious. The platinum, perfect hair and the gorgeous, dazzling eyes. This was Viktor Nikiforov, his idol. Panic seeped into Yuuri’s core. He clutched on Viktor a little tighter, shaking slightly. I don't deserve him, he's famous all around the world. He doesn't need a mediocre skater from Japan to slow him down.
“Yuuri? What's wrong? You're shaking.” Viktor's voice was muffled by his own breathing. He had to get out of here, he couldn't handle this right now- he had to leave. He stopped shifting for a moment. How do you leave a dream?
“Yuuri? Yuuri! What's wrong! Please answer me!” Viktor said, clutching at Yuuri's shoulders. His eyes weren't bright or happy. They were furrowed and worried, that wasn't right. He shouldn't have that expression, it doesn't suit him. Yuuri made him like that, perhaps they weren't suited for each other at all. The universe made some mistake and Viktor got unlucky to be stuck with him.
“I-I'm sorry, I have to go-” he didn't even finish speaking. He woke up suddenly, breathing heavily and shaking.
Yuuri was fourteen when he saw Viktor again. He had avoided him for about a year and a half using special sleeping pills. Yuuri felt guilty about it, he often found the posters he had of Viktor staring at him, demanding he face him. But Yuuri couldn't do it. If he tried to stop taking the pills and dream he found himself twisting and turning all night.
After his win at eighteen, Viktor had many press questions about his soulmate. Yuuri was watching the conference on a livestream and Yuuri felt his heart stop. He pushed his headphones against his ears to listen intently. His caramel eyes were glued to the screen and his palms were sweaty.
“Mr. Nikiforov, any news on your soulmate, yet? I know many fans are out there wondering who’s the one for you!” A female, American reporter had asked, Yuuri judged by her accent.
Viktor had a slight pained look on his face before he broke out into a huge smile. But something was off, it wasn’t like the smile he saw at the rink. It looked forced and his eyes did not shine. Yuuri frowned, the topic of soulmates was supposed to be a happy thing and he made it hurtful for him, another pang of guilt ran through him.
“Our sleeping schedules have not been aligned for awhile now, all this traveling is messing with it. But now that the season is over, I am sure that I will see my beloved again. But, I don’t want to tell the whole world who he is. He is quite shy, yes?” Victor said, the more he talked the brighter his eyes got. Yuuri’s heart yearned to make them bright forever, to protect him from any sadness. Viktor looked into the camera and blew a kiss, “I’ll be waiting tonight, lyubov moya.” His eyes widened and he felt heat erupt on his cheeks. He flinched from the loud cries of the reporters as Viktor was being led out by his couch, smiling and waving goodbye.
Yuuri pulled his headphones off his ears and turned his computer off. He sat in the dark and looked over to the bottle of sleeping pills for a moment. He reached out for them but took his hand back. No, he thought, tonight I’ll see him. He pushed himself into the covers and shifted until he got comfortable. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Yuuri found himself in the rink again. It was a bit different since the last time he came back. The ice wasn’t normal, it was vibrant and a large expanse of color. His soulmate was in the middle of the ice.
Viktor was wearing his costume from most recent show, but his hair was down in a cascade of platinum waves. His hand was outstretched towards Yuuri, his eyes were glossy and bright and he had a large genuine smile on his face, “Yuuri! You came back!”
Yuuri hesitated going up to Viktor. He forced a smile and hugged himself in an attempt to calm down. He could feel the anxiety and nervousness pile up in the pit of his stomach at meeting his soulmate and idol again after avoiding him for so long.
“Yuuri, please don't ever leave again. I don't want to dream without you here. It was awfully lonely to skate without you.” Viktor said, skating up to the edge of the rink where Yuuri stood. “I know one day we'll find each other, but for now,” he caressed Yuuri’s plush cheek with his soft hand, “this is all I have and I don't want to let it go.”
Yuuri felt the heat arise to his cheeks like a volcano on the verge of explosion. “Viktor… I-I’m sorry, I didn't come, I just, I couldn't-”
A lone finger was placed on his lips to silent him. “Shh, Yuuri. You can tell me when we meet. For now, I want to feel you body against mine as we dance the night away.”
Yuuri was grateful and agreed. He took Viktor’ hand off his cheek and led him to the middle if the ice. Slowly, the ice dissolved under Yuuri's feet and he was barefoot with Viktor.
They took their stances from each other, both looked up at each other with a faint blush dusting their faces, Yuuri's was more severe but he still smiled. Maybe the universe wasn't wrong about this. They started their routine together, leaping and holding each other against their bodies. It was pure and loving, Yuuri couldn't help his heart skipping a beat when he looked down at Viktor's adoring gaze.
Yuuri was eighteen when he had his first kiss. He and Viktor only had a few precious hours together so through most it, they danced together. Yuuri had told Viktor that they would dance like this if they met one day.
“Yuuri, not if, but when we do meet, I'll be all yours.” He had said. Yuuri couldn't help but blush at the memory, slightly cursing his soulmate’s affinity for flirting. He was an awkward mess, but Viktor was older than him, maybe it came with experience?
“You look deep in thought, lyubov moya, what are you thinking about?” Viktor said, below him, touching the small of Yuuri's back lightly. Yuuri had his palm on Viktor’s thigh and Viktor had relaxed his leg against Yuuri's hand and thigh.
Yuuri looked down at Viktor, his face was so close and he felt warmth under his hand. Yuuri leaned down and with a sudden burst of courage, he gently pressed his lips against Viktor's. It was soft and brief, only a slight hesitance from Yuuri. After a moment, Yuuri thought he should awkwardly move up, only to have Viktor lean up and deepen the kiss. They're dance position forgotten as Viktor took Yuuri in his arms.
Yuuri broke the kiss, out of breath and slightly flushed. He looked up at Viktor, who was also slightly pink himself, before turning away, “I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to just put you on the spot like that and just kiss you, it's not like I've ever done that before so I imagine it wasn't the best-”
“Yuuri.” Viktor said, gaining Yuuri's attention. Viktor smiled and moved closer to his face and pressed his lips against Yuuri's again. Yuuri leaned in and kissed his soulmate back.
Yuuri moved to Detroit to train when he was eighteen. He didn't tell Viktor that, of course, just that he was traveling. He wanted to place at the Cup competitions before he met him. He and Viktor still met for dreams, but the time zone change gave them less time with each other. Vikor was saddened by this change but wouldn’t let go of Yuuri during their time together. They didn’t dance much anymore. They just laid on the ice, which was oddly warm to the touch, and held hands. Sometimes they held each other in their arms, it was intimate and Yuuri felt he could never get used to it.
In his conscious hours he went to school and trained on the ice with his coach Celestino. His became good friends with his rink mate Phichit, often messing around and Phichit would always make him laugh. Yuuri was happy.
At twenty-two he finally reached the Grand Prix, if he did well he would go meet Viktor and profess his love to him. He could finally be worthy of this wonderful soulmate he was blessed to dream with.
But then, Vicchan died, and he failed his routine. He failed Japan, and worse of all, he failed Viktor.
Yuuri was only twenty-two when everything fell apart.