Archive of Our Own

@CBCSports
Let's go Team 🍁 Canada! For all your favorite sports coverage follow @CBCSports to hear every event covered by our 🇨🇦 All-Canadian 🇨🇦 broadcast team including former Winter Olympians 🥇@StephenDuboisSkates, @ilyarozanov81, and @IsabelleWeidemann

⤷@ilyassecretmole
    I see you @CBCSports 👀 trying to sneak @ilyarozanov81 in the middle there

⤷⤷@hollanovtruther
      they remember #whorelore and are terrified boo these cowards! 😒

⤷@skateneverlate
    double speedskating legends!!! love that we're being rewarded like this 🥹

⤷@sammyk23
    Still can't believe you're depriving us of Dietrich this year. C'mon I'm sure he could get work release for this 🤣

⤷⤷@freshrind43
       I need to know if he still thinks the prosecutor is doing this because he's jealous of how 🔥 hot 🔥 he is #releasethecourttapes

⤷⤷⤷@edmformvp
         New claim is he's being persecuted for "being the man you wish you were, bitch" 💀

⤷⤷@edmformvp
       No one suffers like us Dietrich fans 😔 (do not let him out, he's just gonna try to drive around local kindergartens asking where they source their cocaine)(again)

⤷@vinzino84
    I was there at Prospects in '08 and cannot fucking imagine explaining this tweet to my 11yo self who just said "fuck" for the first time in front of his parents after seeing Rozanov kill that whole game

⤷⤷@sorelym1stak3n
      3x MLH All-Star Trevor Vinzino??? 😮😮

⤷⤷⤷@vinzino84
         Yeah?

@justfordekes29
still kinda can't believe the shit ppl said in #whorelore 😬😬 it just doesn't make ne sense??? i can't b alone 🫣

⤷@lifesrozyinott
    No I agree!!! And ur so right for calling out the biphobia!!!!!! 😒

⤷@conorv93
    ah lads not again

⤷@grievouscharm
    my dude, people linked videos with the quality capping at 360p no one would do that voluntarily unless it's from the olden times 👵

⤷@hollanova
   *sighhhhhh* I'll do another call to arms because sooooome people haven't paid attention in history class

@hollanova
🚨 The youths have not learned!! I know some of you missed the first call to arms!! Now is your chance to share 📢 #morelore of #whorelore 🚨

⤷@hollzy24rozy
    yes general 🫡

⤷@ilyassssqueen
    [image attached][image description: deep fried gif of "how many times do we need to tell you old man" Spongebob meme, but "old man" has been overlayed with a text box that says "children"]

⤷@rozisthereason81
    It's too long to write it so I'll just take a screenshot of the old reddit copy pasta for Ilya Antics #morelore
[image attached][image description: Screenshot of a reddit post in r/hockey about the arrest of Dallas Kent. The top comment reads "can't believe the guy with the fucking copy pasta isn't the one getting arrested. how tf has he avoided it for so long?" The replies to the comment read "Roz's debauchery has whimsy you could only dream of" "Ok but what from this is anywhere NEAR Kent's actual crimes?"]

[Clearly Copy and Pasted comment detailing various escapades of Ilya Rozanov:

• Said he only started seriously learning English after realizing future opponents wouldn't understand him telling them what their moms liked in bed

• Showed up to World Juniors with a suitcase full of vodka, condoms, and one change of clothes, but left his skates at home because he thought the team would bring them

• Dominated World Juniors on borrowed skates in 08

• Posted an empty suitcase with the caption "good trip" before fucking off back to Russia

• Smokes because "is only way these dinosaurs have chance against me. I am so bored."

• Uninterrupted 62 game streak of mooning reporters in his sophomore season after games/scrum was already cleared if they tried to approach him

• Paid adoption fees for the largest animal shelter in Boston for an entire month because "I love bitches"

• Asked out reporter during a press conference, she's seen leaving his penthouse the next day

• Publicly tweeted at Trojan asking if they could make a bigger size

• Made the Cheers bar run out of alcohol during Cup celebrations

• Picked hotdog off the ground during the parade, offered it to a fan, when it's declined he ate it himself during a street interview

• Video of him showing off a raccoon in LoPresti he taught to roll over in exchange for cannoli shells

• Goes on impassioned rant on twitter lasting 2 days to argue about the "inherent eroticism of pickled herring"

• Later claims it never happened

• Never deleted those tweets

• Leaked his own nudes and the condom question turned out to not be trolling

• Allegedly banned from 3 different zoos and possibly one aquarium, no one knows why

• Showed up to his fifth All-Stars via hot air balloon

• Banned from Etsy for falsely reporting every seller making Hayden Pike merch as "selling used garbage :("

• Out for 3 weeks in 2015 due to undisclosed injury that turned out to be a literal dick sprain

• Recorded in disguise at a karaoke bar doing the entirety of Blackalicious's "Alphabet Aerobics" three different times in one night

• (Possibly) fucked the owner's granddaughter

• Showed up at a beer league game that promised free drinks, destroyed them, and then made them pay for his drinks

• Befriended a second raccoon in Franklin Park and taught it how to ask for uppies

• Said no to a celebrity basketball game because he wanted to keep it competitive by playing drunk and they told him no

• Went to a public earning's call for a company owned by Jack Pentioff (owner of the Arizona Lobos) just to tell him his third line was shit and he shouldn't have traded Vartikov (fair)

• See updating list in r/bostonbears

⤷⤷@cyrilliously
      I'm gonna need someone to expand on erotic herring 😬 #morelore

⤷⤷⤷@rozisthereason81
         dude (gn) you don't even know 🤣 he had desperate gym bros guzzling that shit for a month. if you tried to go out to clubs in Boston it smelled like you were visiting fuckin sea world

⤷⤷⤷⤷@cyrilliously
             sea world?

⤷⤷⤷@smokesammon
          your nt the only 1

⤷⤷⤷@bosbitch81
          he raised google searches for pickled herring by 30x in Mass #morelore

⤷⤷⤷@ilyarozanov81
          Is obvious, no? 🤔 #mylore

@rozalicious
He got suspended for two games for fighting by player safety and he retweeted the announcement with Roger Crowell's mugshot asking if he knew a place he could go to relax 💀💀💀 #morelore

⤷@hollanova
    leaving out critical context that Crowell had been arrested for soliciting at a "massage parlor" and that's where that mugshot came from 😭😭 #morelore

⤷⤷@ilyarailmepls
       And you're both leaving out the best part which is IT WAS REDUCED TO ONE GAME AFTERWARDS #morelore

@haleyhavera
    My parents found the erotic y/n rpf fanfic I wrote of Ilya Rozanov as a young lesbian and it convinced them I was straight so thoroughly that my dad had a minor heart attack when I took home my first girlfriend in college 😬😬#morelore

⤷@hckyrpfisrite
    u gunna drop the ao3 link?

⤷⤷@haleyhavera
      ooh bb this was a microfic on tumblr from when I was 13 and I'd sooner off myself live on camera in front of a studio audience made entirely of my exes ☺️

⤷@gooseluv
    My middle school friends used to ask me who I had a crush on and I panic said Ilya Rozanov 🫣 It convinced them I was straight but just had "super high standards" and that's why I wouldn't date any boys in our class 😔 #morelore

@jeanmarc651
Sat next to Ilya Rozanov at a bar in Denver once. He asked me if I had a quarter. Gave it to him and he flipped it. Then he sighed to himself, downed his drink and texted some girl named Jane "hey" with a slutty amount of "y"s before leaving #morelore

@ilyilya81
Remember the time Voyageur's player Gilbert Comeau's wife started airing all their shit out on twitter during their divorce in like 2017 and Rozanov spent the next game telling him "love is love" and "is ok to be gay" because her main complaint was that he said going down on a woman was gross? 🤣😂🤣 #morelore

⤷@ilyassecretmole
    The apology Boston management made him do is better than you remember, I promise 😂😂 #morelore
    [video length 0:27][video description: Ilya Rozanov takes a selfie video in what appears to be the Boston locker room. He is shirtless and freshly showered. "Hello gay community. I have been told I said something insensitive by implying another player is gay because he hates women so much he refuses to go down on them. I learned a new phrase this week; misogynistic homophobia. Very many syllables and not a good thing. Sorry. Was a bad thing to say even if it was funny. Fuck Montreal." He flashes a thumbs up to the camera.]

⤷⤷@grinandbearit
      That's not even the good one 😭😭😭 #morelore
      [video length 1:12][video description: Ilya Rozanov appears to be drunk at a club, a woman on each arm. He is dressed in a tight dark button down that it mostly open with its sleeves cuffed midway up his forearms and leather pants, sunglasses on indoors. "Any comments on the controversy regarding your comments about Gilbert Comeau?" "I have no problem with gay people. Have fucked many beautiful women who also fuck other beautiful women. Very hot. Very cool." "Sure, but that's not—" "I think if he replace stick in ass with dick in ass maybe he is less of asshole on the ice, ah? Maybe he learns to not keep fucking up his edges." "So you're saying—" "I say he is very bad player. 17th best Voyageur. Scott Hunter is gay now and still better player at 300,000 years old than Comeau has ever been. Maybe dick is the answer?"]

⤷⤷⤷@hollanova
         The man had been bouncing on it for Shane Hollander for years (possibly) at this point, mind you #morelore 😂 he KNEW dick was the answer 😂

⤷⤷⤷@twinstops
         The way my gc used to spam the gif of "maybe dick is the answer?" and we didn't even know he played hockey #morelore

@dragbiraceal
He ran a Pinterest that was for weiner dogs dressed as hot dogs. You can't make me believe the slander in #morelore is real 😤

⤷@deltadeltaforce5
    He came to my frat once and did a kegstand for 12 seconds he then burped for 15 #morelore

⤷⤷@dragbiraceal
      How????? Without drowning???? 😮

⤷⤷⤷@deltadelatforce5
         According to him at the time "very easy, just open throat like—uh like when you drink gross protein shake" which hits different now 💀 #morelore

⤷@garrdendreeams
    I watched him ask a bartender at a club "What is the sexiest drink to share?" down half of it and then push it towards her #morelore

⤷@puppypersona617
    I worked at a pet store in Cambridge and one time a male guinea pig escaped and impregnated like 15 females. We renamed him Ilya #morelore

⤷@doubledekediva
    I slept with him back in 2013 and saw him out at a club after. He asked me if I worked in hockey because I seemed familiar and I said no but we've slept together. "Oh, would be fewer options for name if you worked in hockey." I went home with him again. My friends approved. ☺️ #morelore

@puckituppod
🚨 This legendary quote 🚨 #morelore
[video length 0:10][video description: Ilya Rozanov is at a club in what appears to be Russia. He is a teenager. He says something in Russian and the translated captions state "A good woman is like cocaine, keeps me up all fucking night."]

@puckedwellprincess
Confession time: I used to mod the largest Ilya -focused puckbunny discord in my 20s (1/?) #morelore

⤷@puckedwellprincess
    Ilya Rozanov himself tried to join it at one point and didn't get past our screening questions!! (2/?)

⤷⤷@puckedwellprincess
       He undershot his dick size by at least 2 full cms and didn't know how many moles he had on his own face (3/?)

⤷⤷⤷@puckedwellprincess
         He messaged us repeatedly until he said he would post a codeword on his Instagram since none of us wanted to give our names for him to DM us (4/?)

⤷⤷⤷⤷@puckedwellprincess
            The only thing he did when he was let in was @ everyone and send a gym selfie with the caption "u up?" (5/?)

⤷⤷⤷⤷⤷@puckedwellprincess
               It crashed the fucking server (6/6)

⤷@617over781
    "the largest Ilya-focused puckbunny discord" excuse me ma'am are you implying there were multiple??? 😮🤯 #morelore

⤷⤷@puckedwellprincess
      I mean, I knew of at least 2 others but they were like less than 30 girls, just regular-ish hookups instead of ours which was just anyone who'd slept with him and spoke English

⤷@howedotheywin
    Man tried to be humble and look where it got him smh 🙃 #morelore

⤷@overthecrease
    How large are we talking for this server?? #morelore

⤷⤷@puckedwellprincess
       Not as big as you think 😅 i think we peaked at like 560ish people #morelore

⤷⤷⤷@overthecrease
         [gif attached][gif description: a woman opens an envelope and looks stunned and horrified at the contents. The message slips from her hands and she ages into an obvious prop skeleton.]

@supersmashhoes
Me and my coworkers all knew Rozanov was in a serious relationship YEARS before it leaked to the public because I worked at the CVS near his house and we basically cut our condom sales in half after 2017 #morelore

@BosBosBosL
fine, I'll say what we're all thinking 🙄 this guy was never a fucking role model and I would know personally. I'm saying it publicly so we don't get another Dietrich situation. I sold @ilyarozanov81 cocaine in 2013 during Cup celebrations and I know I'm not the only one. #morelore

⤷@gingerwinger77
    Pro hockey players did cocaine in the 2010s???? This is brand new information to me, a baby who was born yesterday, and only just learned about hockey this morning 😮

⤷@novanovagoal
    Sell a hot guy coke ONE TIME and you think ur special 💀 ok

~~~

❤️ наша семья ❤️

My Shane ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Ilya.

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
Papa.

Me
Yes, my loves ❤️

💛 Genny 💛
Papa, have you been online today?

Me
Not really
Anything interesting?

My Shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ilya, don't lie to our children
I saw you respond to one of those tweets

Me
Sorry
I did not think things would blow up again
Claire, is it making work hard for you?

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
It's not great!
Lexi is trying to get me to make you make a statement
"what's the point of hiring a nepo-baby if they won't leverage the nepotism"

💛 Genny 💛
Fuuuuuuuck Lexi 🤬
*2 people emphasized this*

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
Do you wanna tell the social media manager for CBC to go fuck herself?

My Shane ❤️❤️❤️
I don't work for them and I've got a free afternoon
*you ❤️ this message*
*2 people 👎 this message*

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
Thanks dad, but I don't think that'll help much 🙄

Me
You are being too reasonable 🙄
I need an ally
Where is your brother?
@EJ

💛 Genny 💛
@EJ

💙 EJ 💙
I have maybe 5 minutes until Irina wakes up from her afternoon nap
*You ❤️ this message*
Is this going to be quick?

Me
Can I see my beautiful granddaughter before your sisters and father yell at me again? 😍

💙 EJ 💙
Are you guys ganging up on Papa again because I'm busy?
[image attached][image description: an angelic looking baby approximately 3-4 months old swaddled in a Centaurs blanket with little 24s and 81s dotting it.]
*4 people ❤️ this image*

My Shane ❤️❤️❤️
No one is ganging up on Papa
EJ, while you're here how's Dana? Saw that hit in the Winnipeg game and it looked nasty.

💙 EJ 💙
No work talk in the family chat
Just caught up on the chat and I agree that Dad should go tell her to fuck off

My Shane ❤️❤️❤️
Refocus Hollanders!
*4 people 🫡 this message*
Claire, do you want us to put out some statement asking people to stop?
We're both happy to help if it'll get your boss to calm down. We love you.

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
I think Lexi does buuuuuut 👀👀👀

💛 Genny 💛
love a but

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
Things went better last time when Papa got his Bears teammates to lean into things and kind of lead things away from the worse stuff
Why don't you reach out to your Centaurs teammates and see if anyone wants to help?

💙 EJ 💙
I'm sure Uncle Troy and Uncle Harris would be happy to help

Me
Claire, you have always been my favorite ❤️

My Shane ❤️❤️❤️
Ilya! You cannot fucking say that

Me
She is my baby girl 🥺

💛 Genny 💛
She's 22 🙄

Me
So young, just a baby
*My Shane❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ this message*
I remember when she was the size of my forearm and we just brought her home from the hospital ❤️

💛 Genny 💛
She was five when we were placed with you!

💚 Claire-Bear 💚
No no
Papa was definitely there

💙 EJ 💙
Gen, he was for sure there. I remember because Dad let me get a candy bar and it was the best day of my life.

💛 Genny 💛
You weren't there either!!!!

Me
You were all so well behaved that day ❤️
What happened?

My Shane ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Everyone stop being rude to Genny
It was a long time ago, it's ok that she doesn't remember
*3 people 😂 this message*

💛 Genny 💛
I need a new fucking family
*You 👎 this message*
Third time's the charm
*💙 EJ 💙 😂 this message*

~~~

@puckitupboys
Gaze upon my works ye mighty and despair! #morelore
[image attached][image description: Ilya Rozanov is mooning the camera while exiting a night club in LA.]

⤷@puckitupboys
    You could literally post a picture of his ass in every hockey city 😂 the man was notorious #morelore

⤷@freeankletat
    This isn't just your average hockey butt, this is an MVP ass 🥵 #morelore

⤷⤷@ilyarozanov81
      3x MVP #mylore

⤷⤷⤷@freeankletat
          I'm so sorry Mr. Rozanov 🙂‍↕️
          This isn't just your average hockey butt, this is a 3x MVP ass 🥵 #morelore

⤷⤷⤷⤷@ilyarozanov81
            *Mr. Rozanov-Hollander 😉 #mylore
            [gif attached][gif description: a younger Ilya Rozanov is in the Boston Bears locker room being interviewed, shirtless. He winks at the camera.]

@fandommymommy
God the way I used to be in the TRENCHES for this man on tumblr rpf forums. Still never getting over how he was slighted in the best bossy bottom eyes bracket 🥺 #morelore

⤷@spnsuperhelleternal
    You're so fucking delusional if you ever thought he was beating Dean Winchester in the year of our Lord 2013

⤷@gemstop42
    u just reminded me of a formative time in my childhood those brackets were everything to middle school me #morelore

⤷@evandykstrahockey
    I can tell you that after spending years around the two of them, he was doomed from the start if he was competing as a "bossy bottom". Guy used to follow his husband around like a lost puppy 🤣 #morelore

⤷⤷@trottawabb
       An actual Centaur?????

⤷⤷@centaursGOATalwayz
      🚨 Shut it down 🚨 we're getting actual hockey people in here

@patsandceltsandbears
Once watched Ilya Rozanov walk into a bar, chat up a couple women, have them play rock, paper, scissors, and when they tied he said "We can find different tie breaker" and then he took them both home #morelore

@cliff_marlow
Are we doing more Roz stories? I've got a fuckin beauty #morelore

⤷@cliff_marlow
    Picture this; it's 2012 and we just clinched the playoffs for the first time in forever. Team goes out and Roz is doing his go to, make eye contact with a chick and they go home with him in ten minutes.

⤷@cliff_marlow
    But it's not working with this fucking smokeshow whose got sunglasses on and couldn't give less of a shit about him. Makes Roz go fuckin crazy.

⤷@cliff_marlow
   He's dancing like a fucking maniac trying to get her attention but she doesn't budge. Eventually he goes up to her and asks her if she drove here and if she'd like to drive then both back to hers.

⤷@cliff_marlow
    She laughs at him and tells him she can't drive because she's blind. So he says "Ah, has been misunderstanding. I am very hot, and so are you. You can ask your friends to confirm or you can put hand on my abs, your choice." #morelore

⤷@cliff_marlow
    Please stop asking in replies if she went home with him. She was running her hands up and down his chest like she was reading a novel, what do you think? #morelore

@GoalieWyattHayes
Roz once chirped a guy by telling him "If you knock out my teeth, it just makes it easier to suck you father's massive cock, thank you my future son." Never seen a guy get so mad in my life #morelore

⤷@mlhtimecapsule
    Think I found the fight
    [video length 1:17][video description: Ottawa's #81 and Calgary's #37 start arguing in front of the Ottawa goal. Pushes are exchanged between the two and linesmen tell them to break it up. #81 makes another comment, smile on his face and #37 lunges. #81 holds his arms out, taunting further and #37 gets so worked up he pushes the linesman nearest him to the ground. Instant game disqualification.]

⤷@connorx2s
    Are we doing Roz chirps? Best I ever saw was him repeating a stat line at a guy for two straight periods until the dude snapped and said "those aren't my fucking numbers!" Roz chirps back "I know, they are mine from when I was 14. Thought I would give you something to aspire to but still in skill range." #morelore

⤷⤷@ErickssonFelix71
       First time I played against Roz I heard him chirp my center "Now I know why your ex-wife never pillowtalks with me about you. You are so fucking boring. Would ruin the mood." Wanted to laugh so bad that it made me fuck up the tip out pass #morelore

@BarrettPlaysHockey
I once asked Roz about his scary accurate gaydar and he said it was tough because he was so sexy that it couldn't just be a guy checking him out. He had to notice them checking him out at least 3 times. #morelore

@freepointjewelsandgold
Ilya Rozanov came into my shop in Boston and was asking about ring and necklace settings. I asked who the lucky lady was and he said "Dallas Kent" then he pulled a HUMAN TOOTH out of his pocket and said "he left it here last game and I want to make sure he doesn't lose it again" #morelore

⤷@mlhtimecapsule
    I guess Kent lost it again because Rozanov definitely wore that necklace to the Juno Awards in 2019 #morelore
    [image attached][image description: Ilya Rozanov posing on a red carpet, holding up a gold chain with a medallion that has a chamber containing a bicuspid.]

⤷@mlhmouseketeer
    THAT'S WHOSE TOOTH THAT IS

@drover.harris
I did a social media dissection when Roz signed with @OttawaCentaurs. Wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be until I looked at his tagged posts and realized there were over 2k unique images of his bare ass ☹️ #morelore

⤷@drover.harris
    And those were just from his first Cup celebration 😒 #morelore

⤷⤷@drover.harris
       Admittedly, phenomenal ass 🤷🏼‍♂️ #morelore

⤷@stan4roz4lyfe
    Fewer than I thought tbh

⤷@bearsbeyond02
    And where would I find these for uhhhh…..science… 😳 #morelore

@ilyarozanov81
Yes, I was very hot for many years before being hot now 😌 I have a very long history of sexiness 😌 But my favorite video of me is this one ❤️ #mylore
[video length 0:48][video description: Ilya Rozanov-Hollander setting up a camera to record. He runs back to where his family is standing in front of a large lake in the backyard of their cottage. He takes a spot next to his husband, their three young children stand in front of them, their faces blurred for privacy. Two dogs sit at attention. Yuna and David are present along with a smattering of Shane's cousins, aunts, and uncles whose children's faces are also blurred. "Everyone say "Hollanders!" The group repeats it back to him and hold for an awkward length of time, waiting for a camera to click. "Blyat, I think I set it to video."]

⤷@shanehollander
    Easily your best angle 😘 and I've seen a lot of great ones in the past 35 years together. I love you. #morelore