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“Are you sure about this?” Theo ventured to ask after twenty minutes of driving in complete silence, though Liam’s unease hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“Yeah…Yeah, absolutely.” It wasn’t a lie; his heartbeat was steady, and even if Theo didn’t have his heightened senses he could still tell. The determination in those blue eyes shone brighter than anything else. “I’m just a little nervous.”
A chuckle escaped him. “A little?” The question was laced with disbelief mixed with Theo’s typical sarcasm. “Right, it’s not like the truck reeks of anxiety, not at all.” He paused for a few seconds and then added in a lighter tone, “Or that you’ve been bouncing your leg the whole way.”
Liam glanced down at his leg, which was indeed moving quickly, and immediately forced himself to stay still, crossing his arms and staring out the window with a pout.
Theo shook his head amused and placed his hand on his boyfriend's thigh, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "It's okay if you're nervous, little wolf," he said, taking his eyes off the road to look at him. "I understand that getting a tattoo can be scarier than, I don't know, any supernatural threat you've ever faced." The teasing was evident in his tone, and Liam, as always, fell completely for it.
"I'm not scared!" he practically whined, pushing Theo's hand away from his leg in offense.
Theo laughed, a genuine laugh now. "You're afraid of needles, aren't you? Because that would explain a lot," he continued, still smiling.
"Theo, shut up or I swear to God I'll—"
"Okay, okay," Theo raised his free hand in a gesture of peace. "If you say you're not scared, then you're not. I get it." He moved his hand back to Liam's leg as if nothing had happened and left it there when Liam didn't make any effort to move it again.
Silence enveloped them again for a few minutes, during which Theo gently stroked Liam's thigh with his thumb and occasionally pressed with just the slightest bit of force to keep him grounded and prevent him from getting lost in his own thoughts, but it didn't seem to work completely. While the touch had calmed whatever Liam's worry was, Theo could see that there was still something preventing him from fully relaxing.
“Okay, Dunbar, say it,” he broke the silence again.
“What?” Liam turned to look at him, confused.
“I know you want to ask something,” He glanced at him for barely two seconds before refocusing on the road ahead. “You’ve got that look on your face.”
“I don’t have a look on my face.” Lie.
“You can talk to me, you know.” For a moment, he dropped the teasing, using that softer tone he only used with Liam. “What’s wrong?”
Liam didn’t answer immediately, and it wasn’t until they stopped at a red light and Theo turned to face him completely that he sighed heavily, accepting defeat.
“Are you sure about this?” He returned the question, looking anywhere but into his eyes.
“Of course,” Theo answered without hesitating, but his response didn’t completely dispel the flicker of doubt in his gaze.
Although Theo had long since broken the habit of controlling his heartbeat and masking his chemosignals when he was with Liam, there were still times when, though he didn't say it aloud, he hesitated slightly.
Theo took Liam's hand and placed it on his chest, over his stolen heart. It was a gesture he didn't often make as the trust between them was quite strong, but this was important, especially to Liam. "I want to do this. I want to get a tattoo with you."
He had always been drawn to tattoos and had thought about getting one himself several times, but he'd never been able to given the…circumstances. So, little by little, he'd pushed the idea of getting a tattoo into the corner of things best forgotten. But even so, Liam seemed determined not only to revive each of those desires buried deep in his mind but to fulfill them in the most special way possible.
And, though the werewolf didn't know it, sharing a tattoo with him was also a momentous occasion for Theo.
Carrying Liam on his skin forever meant more than anyone could have imagined. Liam would always have a place in his heart and in his life, even if what they had didn't last forever. Liam was the one who brought him back from hell, the first to trust him, the first to defend him and consider him 'his responsibility' even when no one else agreed, the one who helped him change and start becoming the best version of himself.
He definitely wanted to do it.
Liam stared at his chest for a few seconds, then his eyes met his, leaving behind any trace of doubt and replacing it with a softer, calmer gaze. "It's not like we're going to get each other's names tattooed on our foreheads," he added trying to extinguish the remaining tension and they both laughed.
Even so ,if Liam asked him to do it, he most likely would. Saying no was impossible for him.
"You're an idiot."
"And you love this idiot," he replied with his characteristic confidence, moving a little closer with his typical smirk.
"Yes, I do," he closed the remaining distance between them with a quick kiss. "Keep driving, idiot," he whispered against his lips, smiling, and gave him one last peck before pulling away completely, with the slight difference that this time, he intertwined his fingers with Theo's.
Years could pass—in fact, years have passed—and Theo still hadn't quite gotten used to Liam's touch. Although his body no longer trembled involuntarily nor did he feel the need to pull away, he still felt the flutter in his stomach; the famous butterflies did not tire of fluttering but, on the contrary, did so with more force as time passed.
“You were panicking about…this?” The words escaped before he could register them, and the tattoo artist tried to stifle a giggle with little success.
“Fuck off.” A slight blush began to creep up Liam’s neck, so he crossed his arms and looked away. “Scott said that when Derek did his tattoo, he warned him it was the worst pain he’d ever experience and then he said himself that it hurts like hell. I think I have a right to feel this way.”
“I thought you said you weren’t scared.” Theo loved teasing Liam, though this time he was doing his best to hold back his laughter.
“And I’m not!” Liam practically shouted, making the girl, also a werewolf, jump at the rise in his voice. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she smiled at him. “I’m not going to tell you it won’t hurt because I’d be lying, but I think I can assure you it won’t be ‘the worst pain you’ll ever experience.’ Derek’s such an exaggerator.” Sarah —the name she gave them after they arrived— assured them and stood up, approaching them.
The initial plan was for Derek himself to tattoo them, not only to avoid going to a stranger’s place and, directly or indirectly, taking a risk, but also because of his previous experience tattooing Scott. However, he had left Beacon Hills several days earlier for one of his mysterious trips to South America just as they were returning for their college break. So, he gave them Sarah’s contact information and assured them she was one of the best.
“Besides,” the girl continued, “what you want isn’t a big design, it’ll be a quick procedure.” She placed her hand on Liam’s shoulder and leaned close to his ear, “and if it’s any consolation, it’s going to hurt your boyfriend more.” The whisper lost all its humor since the three of them were supernatural creatures with enhanced hearing, but the comment still managed to release some of Liam’s tension, making him chuckle.
“They’re going to burn my skin, literally, and you’re laughing?” Theo remarked in an offended tone, crossing his arms, but his eyes reflected the opposite of annoyance.
“You were laughing at me two minutes ago, I think we’re even, don’t you think?” Liam moved closer, still with an amused expression, and placed his hands on Theo’s shoulders, slowly sliding them down his arms, “and you go first.” He affirmed and smiled broadly, leaving no room for argument.
“You’re worse than I thought, Dunbar.” He continued his dramatic act, making Liam roll his eyes and give him a light shove.
“Sit down,” Sarah gestured to the tattoo chair. “Which one do you want to start with?” she asked as she put on her gloves and set up all the equipment.
“Butterflies.” The girl nodded, and Theo began to take off his jacket and then his shirt.
“Butterflies? And why are you taking off your shirt?” Liam asked, confused.
“Did you want to take it off me?” Theo returned the question with a hint of malice, and he had to admit he was surprised when Liam answered quietly and without thinking, ‘Maybe’
From that moment on, it was a matter of barely three seconds for the werewolf to process the exchange they had just had and blush enough to hide his face in his hands, making Theo laugh.
“I really hate you,” Liam said, still covering his face with his hands.
“Sure you do.” He sat down on the chair/stretcher without losing that mocking smile.
“Liam, could you do me a favor and hold him? Just in case,” Sarah asked gently as she placed the tattoo stencil on Theo’s left collarbone. “Talk to him if you want; any distraction from the pain is more than welcome, and if for any reason you feel unwell or need a break, please let me know.” She smiled at them, and after receiving a nod from both of them, she returned her attention to her work.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Liam asked, placing one hand on the chimera’s right forearm and the other on his shoulder, barely stroking it but positioning himself in case he needed to use force to hold him against the chair.
“I did tell you,” Theo replied, and immediately afterward, he hissed as he felt the needle pierce and the fire burn his skin at the same time.
“You told me you were going to take advantage of the situation and get another tattoo, but you didn’t tell me what or where.” Liam tightened his grip slightly to keep his boyfriend as still as possible and, at the same time, to keep him grounded.
Theo’s pain threshold was far higher than that of any other person or supernatural creature. Thank the Dread Doctors for that. So, even though it obviously hurt, he’d been through much worse before; in fact, he could say he was already used to the sensation even though it hadn’t even been five minutes since they started.
“To be fair, you didn’t tell me what we’re getting tattooed either.” Theo smiled smugly because, yes, everything has to become an argument where they constantly challenge each other until one of them gives in.
“That’s different.” Liam rolled his eyes again, making it seem obvious, although his tone revealed that even he wasn’t so sure how that was different.
“Oh yeah? Enlighten me.” And Theo obviously wasn’t going to let the opportunity to push a little harder pass him by, because why not?
“It’s different because…” Liam paused for a couple of seconds, searching for the right words, hoping to leave the chimera speechless and wipe that damned smirk off his face. “Because this was my idea and it was a surprise. I don’t know if you understand the concept of a surprise, but I wasn’t supposed to tell you, and I wasn’t going to tell you either. In the first place, I wasn’t even going to tell you it was a tattoo, but I couldn’t think of a way to get you here without telling you. Besides, you said you didn’t mind if I chose.” The werewolf spoke so fast that for a moment Theo thought he was going to run out of breath, and now he was looking at him with wide, expectant eyes.
That look inevitably reminded him of that time at the zoo when Liam started explaining the whole story about Mykonos and why it might work, and at the end he looked at him, waiting for him to say something. The same big blue eyes that always held a hint of doubt, as if expecting mockery or rejection of what he was saying, even from Theo.
“And I don’t care,” Theo raised his free hand and intertwined it with Liam’s, which rested on his forearm. “I’m just messing with you. I trust you blindly.” He brought Liam’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.
“I can’t believe you’re a complete asshole one minute and acting like this the next.” His tone might have sounded annoyed to someone who was just listening, but right after, he mimicked Theo’s previous action and kissed the back of his hand in response.
“What can I say? My charm is incomparable,” he smiled with a touch of arrogance, just to tease him a little more.
From that moment on, they spent about two more hours in the studio just to finish the tattoo on Theo’s collarbone. For a while, they talked about trivial things, and then they switched to their phones, occasionally showing each other something they found funny or that they knew they would both relate to.
They also talked with Sarah and got to know each other a little better. She told them about her life, what it's like to be a born werewolf, and how she became a supernatural tattoo artist. They also shared their stories of how they entered this world, omitting certain details that weren't worth remembering or letting outsiders like Sarah know.
The past is the past, and things are very different now for both of them.
“Okay, first tattoo finished!” After a while, Sarah announced excitedly, her eyes shining with pride at her work.
The tattoo was two butterflies facing each other, one flying higher than the other but keeping a watchful eye on the other. The top one was done in red ink and fairly superficially, barely a silhouette but still capturing the small details. The bottom butterfly, on the other hand, was in two colors, half red and half black, much more detailed, including shading and shadows that, in one way or another, made it look more alive, more present than the other.
“I’m really impressed with your pain tolerance,” the girl remarked as she handed Theo a mirror so he could see the tattoo better. “You’re literally my first client who doesn’t scream,” she assured him with a huge smile, as if it were the best thing that had happened to her all day.
“Um, thanks, I guess?” Theo was quite lost in the interaction; he didn’t know if he was thanking her for the tattoo or for Sarah’s last comment. Was it supposed to be a compliment to begin with?
“Does that mean I’m going to scream?” Liam chimed in, quite agitated for someone who was pretty sure he wasn't scared.
"I could say no, but that's up to you," Sarah said calmly. "Do you want to continue with the other tattoo, or would you prefer to rest for a moment?" Her attention was now on Theo.
"We can go with the other one, I'm fine." He gave her a small smile, which she returned with a nod.
"Which hand?"
"Uh, I-"
"Right hand," Liam interrupted, as if he were talking about his own hand, earning a confused look from Sarah and an amused one from Theo. With so much attention focused on himself, he felt the heat rising up his neck to his ears again.
It was fascinating how Liam cornered himself into situations that, two seconds later, he'd regret.
"The right hand will be then," Theo assured the girl, letting out a chuckle.
The L next to the heart took no more than 15 minutes, and as soon as Sarah indicated it was finished, Liam took the chimera's hand to inspect it, not letting Theo see.
"What do you think?" Theo asked softly, and Liam's eyes shone gold, whether in recognition or excitement, and that was all the answer he needed.
Liam couldn't contain himself and took Theo's face in his hands, leaning in to kiss him. "Thank you for doing this," he said as they parted and pressed their foreheads together, both with loving smiles.
"Anything for you," Theo stole him a kiss and they separated completely to switch places. "Don't you want me to knock you out or something? I mean, so you don't feel anything and you're Sarah's second client who doesn't scream," he offered, mostly teasingly, but within the joke was a genuine offer. It might not have been the most romantic gesture, but it wasn't something they hadn't done before, and if it could prevent Liam from truly suffering, he would gladly do it.
"Tempting, but I'll pass." They both laughed, and if Sarah was looking at them somewhat horrified by what they had just said and the dynamic between them, they would both pretend not to notice.
“Okay…” Sarah paused, as if recalculating, and quickly changed her gloves to occupy herself with something instead of looking at them. “Which hand?”
“Left, same finger.” Theo found Liam’s certainty amusing. While usually when you get a tattoo you have an idea of what to get and where, it was clear the werewolf had been anticipating this moment for days and had planned everything from the moment the idea came to him.
“You need to take a deep breath, okay?” Sarah took his left hand as she brought the machine closer, “If you feel it’s too much, you have to tell me and I’ll stop.” Liam nodded and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.
Theo took the spot where Liam had been and took his free hand, giving it a squeeze. “It’s okay, little wolf, you’ve got this,” he said gently but confidently trying to reassure him, even if just a little.
Liam was quite dramatic, and it was no secret that keeping himself under control was a constant challenge. But whether it was because of the importance this held for him, or Theo's hand intertwined with his like an anchor, or perhaps both, the 15 minutes passed more quickly than they had anticipated and from Liam's part, there wasn't much beyond hissing and squeezing his eyes shut when the pain became a bit too much.
When it was finished, Liam examined it closely first, then held out his hand to Theo so he could see it with a huge grin.
The tattoo was the same size and technically the same design—his initial next to a heart—but at the same time, it was completely different.
The lettering of the T had firmer, more defined strokes, and the heart's line was much tighter and done in a single movement, quite different from the elegant, cursive L he had on his own finger. The heart, too, was clearly done in several strokes and had a slight curve at the bottom.
At that moment Theo refrained from asking why the difference and simply smiled back at Liam, "I love it."
Later that same night, they were back in Liam's room at his parents' house, where they were staying for the duration of their time in the city. Just like before.
They lay on the bed, completely sleepless, Liam on Theo's chest tracing random patterns on his t-shirt, and Theo draped an arm over Liam's shoulders, gently caressing his arm, both of them silent.
Even though his nights had ceased to be a torment since he started sleeping with Liam, that didn't mean sleep came easily to him.
"Why butterflies?" Liam asked almost in a whisper, not wanting to break the bubble of tranquility they were in.
Theo remained silent for a moment, thinking. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Liam, but rather that he was searching for the right words to express the meaning Liam had given them. “I think… I needed to destroy myself in order to truly exist,” he took a deep breath and then added, “and instead of letting her life run its course, I destroyed her along the way.”
Liam lifted his head from Theo’s chest and propped himself up on one arm on the bed, his free hand moving to the tattoo on Theo’s collarbone and stroking it through the fabric of his t-shirt. He nodded slightly but said nothing, letting Theo continue.
“People forget that butterflies were once caterpillars and had to shut themselves away in darkness, destroying themselves in order to become something beautiful and begin to live.” His gaze was fixed on the ceiling of the room; it was easier for him to let the words flow if he didn’t focus on the pair of blue eyes that he knew were watching him intently.
“After hell I-” Theo felt for a second his lungs give out and he started to run out of air, but immediately Liam’s hand found his and gave him a squeeze strong enough to keep him grounded. “I’m nowhere near being even half of what Tara was, but after hell, after seeing her again and again and again and feeling like she was ripping my heart out, her heart, I started to feel something beyond guilt, like I owed her something.”
“Theo, you didn’t kill her, they did,” Liam interjected, still speaking softly but completely sure of what he was saying, “you were nine years old and-”
“I know,” Theo interrupted, and the werewolf chose to remain silent. “I know all that, and although it’s been difficult, little by little I’ve come to understand that there are others who are more to blame than me, but that doesn’t change anything, Liam.” His vision blurred, and a tear escaped before he could stop it. “She’s gone, and I’m sure I’ll never be able to fully forgive myself, but I still want to try because it kills me every day to know that she could be the one here living the life she always dreamed of.”
He didn’t know when, but Theo had closed his eyes and didn’t open them again until he felt Liam’s fingers gently parting his shirt, revealing the tattoo, and leaning down to place a kiss on it, making his heart skip a couple of beats.
“Your life is worth no less than hers, you know?” He spoke against his skin, and Theo shuddered slightly, wanting to close his eyes again, but instead, keeping them locked on Liam's, "I know it's hard for you to see that, but being here, alive, shouldn't be a punishment or a debt you'll never finish paying. It's your life, Theo."
Theo didn't say anything for a while, letting himself be carried away by the sensation of Liam's fingers tracing the lines of the tattoo. "That's kind of the reason, you know?" He said, referring to the meaning of the tattoo, which was the reason they had started talking, “It’s my life, but she’ll always be there.” He took Liam’s finger and moved it to the butterfly at the top, “This is her, just the faint lines of her silhouette, indicating that she’s no longer physically here but that she’ll always be present for me, and this,” he moved his finger to the butterfly below, “This is me, half me, half her. Without her heart there wouldn’t be a ‘me’ at all, and even though I’ve spent half my life doing horrible things… I want to start changing that.”
“Theo.” Liam’s voice was filled with a lot of emotion, and his chemosignals didn’t explain everything he was feeling at that moment either. “You started to change the moment I brought you back from hell. At the time, maybe I didn’t see it or I convinced myself it wasn’t true, but now I can say with complete certainty that from the moment you came back, the old Theo ceased to exist. You were a different person, and you kept proving it time and time again.”
“So you didn’t fall for me right then and there?” Theo joked, trying to lighten the mood and implying ‘I don’t want to talk about this anymore’ and Liam understood perfectly and played along.
“I don’t know, maybe I did, but I was too busy hating you to think about it,” he smiled and moved a little closer to the chimera’s face.
“Convincing you that you hated me, you mean,” Theo smiled too and moved a little closer, “Who are you trying to fool, Dunbar? You’ve always been crazy about me.” Their noses brushed and the air they breathed began to mingle.
“You’re delusional, Raeken,” Liam closed the distance between them with a soft kiss.
They separated only slightly, and Theo asked in barely a whisper, “Now are you going to tell me what the initials mean, or am I going to have to live forever wondering why the letters are different?” He returned to his teasing tone and his little smile.
“What do you mean? They’re just our initials next to a heart because I love you and you love me, that’s all.” A nervous smile formed on his face, and he leaned back slightly, wanting to avoid his gaze.
“Liam, I know you’re lying,” he said accusingly, causing a faint blush to appear on Liam’s cheeks, which, on another occasion, might have gone unnoticed in the darkness of the room.
“No, I’m not.” His heart skipped a beat at the lie, and Theo raised his eyebrows in disbelief. At first, the werewolf resisted speaking, but finally, the weight of Theo’s gaze pressed him until he could no longer hold back. “Do you promise you won’t make fun of me or make one of those comments you enjoy so much to make me angry?” He turned to look at him and stared at him with pleading eyes.
“Don’t make me make promises I don’t know if I can keep,” he joked, making Liam let out a small whimper of frustration and shake him a little, making him laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll listen and I won’t say anything, deal?” He held out his hand.
Liam looked at him for a few seconds, narrowing his eyes, and when he was satisfied with his observation, he took his hand. “Deal.”
“Okay,” he said with a sigh, as if he were about to give a very important speech. “I tried to make the letters have something of us in them, you know? I didn’t want us to just have each other’s initials and that’s it, but for it to really represent something more.” Theo nodded, encouraging him to continue. “Your letter, the L, has all those curves and flowing strokes because… I feel like that’s what I am in your life.”
“A hurricane that sweeps everything away in its path?” Theo asked, half-jokingly, half-seriously, because he still didn't quite understand Liam's explanation; even for that, he was beating around the bush.
"Ha ha, hilarious," he rolled his eyes and continued, "No, you asshole, I mean flexibility and fluidity. You're very rigid, you're always overanalyzing everything around you and always expecting the worst, and I understand that, but not everything has to be perfect to work. Sometimes the more improvised, the better."
Now it was Theo's turn to roll his eyes. However, he couldn't help but look back at the letter on his finger considering its new meaning, and it really made sense. It was Liam at his best: direct, chaotic, and uncomplicated.
"And yours?" he pointed to Liam's left hand.
“It’s the opposite,” he traced the lines with his finger. “The T is straight and firm, and the heart is attached to it. I’m very impulsive and tend to act without thinking, you know that. You are my anchor, and I need something firm to ‘hold on to’ so I don’t lose control.”
Theo couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart at those words. It wasn’t new information to him, but it was still a little…shocking to know that he really meant enough to someone to keep him grounded.
“We have opposite qualities,” Liam spoke again after a few seconds, “but that’s what unites us most. We complement each other in a way I’ve never experienced before, and I truly learn from you every day.” He gave him a warm smile. “C’mon, say something.”
“I’m…impressed.” Theo met Liam’s gaze, and for no real reason, a shiver ran through him. “I mean, you’re right, but now that you put it into words, it sounds…” He couldn’t find the perfect word to describe everything he felt.
“Sounds like what? Ridiculous? Too much? Oh my god, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” Liam started to panic at his silence. “You don’t have to say anything back, okay? I got carried away and maybe I said things I shouldn’t—”
His torrent of apologies was interrupted by Theo’s lips on his, leaving him in shock for barely a second before returning the kiss with the same intensity.
When they broke apart, Theo pressed his forehead to Liam’s and whispered against his lips, “It sounds perfect.” He smiled sincerely and kissed him again, placing one hand on Liam’s cheek and the other on the back of his neck.
“Are you sure?” Liam asked after they pulled apart again, resting one hand on the crook of Theo's neck and the other on his heart.
"Absolutely." He leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. "I love you."
Liam smiled broadly at that and began showering kisses all over Theo's face, saying ‘I love you every time his lips left his skin.
"Hey," Theo called, laughing a little. "I have another question."
"Mm?" he hummed, starting to trail kisses down Theo's jawline, then along his neck.
"Why—" Theo took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second as he felt Liam kiss his pulse point. "Why did you want the tattoo on a finger?"
“Oh,” the werewolf said, pulling away so they were face to face again. “Because every time I do this,” he said, bringing his left hand closer and interlacing it with his right, “our initials are going to touch.” He raised their clasped hands in front of their faces and moved them from side to side to show him what he was saying.
Theo couldn't´—and didn't want to— suppress the genuine smile that spread across his face as he gazed at their intertwined hands and how the curves of the L met the firm strokes of the T.
“You're so cheesy, Dunbar,” he murmured playfully, without making any move to let go.
“And you love this cheesy werewolf,” Liam repeated the words he himself had said earlier in the truck, and without waiting for a reply, kissed him once more, slowly and gently.
When they separated, they both lay back down, and Liam placed his still clasped hands on Theo's chest, resting them over his heart.