Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Stark Materials Ancestry Relative Test (SMART) Protocol 

Chapter 1/? 

Chapter 1: Level I: Positive Identification

Tony Stark was the last living Stark.

An only son of an only son of an only son. 

No siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins.

An orphan.

Sure, there were probably fifth cousins six times removed running around out there or something, but those don't really count.

Being the last living Stark was… strange.

Lonely.

Isolating.

In the Battle of New York, Tony had seen stars beyond stars as he flew–and fell–to his death. 

Luckily, that death was temporary. 

The Stark legacy lived on. 

But when Tony was working on repairing the Stark Industries(/now also Avengers Tower), a thought came to his mind as he worked on revitalizing the security measures. What if he created a way of searching for family members?

Every person who steps into Stark Industries (/Avengers Tower) and every other Stark building across the world is required to sign paperwork and get their fingerprints scanned before walking through the metal detector. When they press their hands upon the pad for their prints, it would be easy to have sweat and skin skills analyzed and compared to his own DNA. A great invasion of privacy or whatever, but easy.

Well, easy for a Stark. Not for like CSI… wait, should Tony pick up crime solving as a hobby? Probably not the hobby that Pepper or Rhodey had in mind when they blather on about work life balance. Happy would probably enjoy it (secretly, at least).

Anyway, when Tony upgraded the scan he had to tell Pepper to tell the lawyers about it so they could figure out a way of sneaking it into the fine print of the Stark Terms and Conditions.

So “Fingerprint Collection” became “Fingerprint and Materials Collection,” and life moved on. 

Pepper had asked if Tony had thought that he had any half-brothers or half-sisters running around. Tony had thought the question was funny until it opened the door to a long, boring conversation about Stark assets and inheritance law which somehow segued into an even more awkward–and awful–talk about if his father had cheated on his mom. Tony was pretty sure Howard had been unfaithful, but wasn't sure if that certainty was based on him being a sucky father versus a sucky husband. 

And then that took them to Tony assuring Pepper he had never cheated and would never cheat.

Then Pepper dumped his sorry bottom over creating Ultron… which, fair.

JARVIS (before he was destroyed) had identified a few distant relations. 

So Tony, injured (physically, mentally and emotionally though he would not admit to any) was currently on self-imposed house arrest at the fully restored tower. He spent his time tinkering in the lab, as he was doing now. 

Wanda had locked herself in her room like a classic misunderstood teen. JARVIS, well, Vision now, seemed to be caring for her, which was nice. Unfortunately, JARVIS's affection for Tony did not seem to have properly transferred over to VISION. Rhodey was busy with playing political cleanup over Ultron. Pepper was busy being the CEO of Stark Industries and with being his ex. Happy wasn't much of a talker, but was Tony’s most constant source of human interaction, unless you counted FRIDAY.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony sighed. FRIDAY was still in the works, but every time he heard her lilting voice it reminded him of his loss, his fault. He stopped soldering but didn't put down the tool.

“Yes?”

“There has been a positive identification for the SMART Protocol.”

“There's been a what for the what?” 

The AI repeated, “There has been a positive identification for the SMART Protocol.”

“Smart? Oh, right, the midlife crisis family search thing. Right, I know you are the new kid on the block. JARVIS announced a couple of distant cousins so I made amendments for the SMART Protocol-”

“The amendments are integrated into my code.”

Tony sets down his soldering iron.

“Are you telling me that I have a sister or an uncle or something walking around a Stark property?”

“A son, yes.”

A son.

Son.

Son.

Everything went blank. Black. Then stars beyond a void…

“A son?” Tony heard his voice whisper, in disbelief and wonder. 

“Yes. The Short Tandem Repeats (STRs) indicate a 99.9% match of paternity. The-”

“I have a son?”

The AI paused before answering, “Yes, the Stark Materials Ancestry Relative Test has positively identified your biological son.”

“When?” Tony demanded stumbling to his feet in the general direction of his lab computer system. 

“Approximately two minutes ago.”

“Now?”

“...Approximately.”

“My son is walking around a Stark facility now?” He asked. 

(Department of Redundancy Department.)

“Yes.”

“Which one? Malibu? Switzerland? India?”

“The New York Stark/Avengers Tower.”

His mind short circuited. 

“He's here? Now?”

“Affirmative,” apparently FRIDAY was tired of saying yes.

“Is he here to see me?”

“He is here to see the Stark Industries and Avengers Tower, I believe.”

“Pull up the security feed.”

The giant screen showed a large group of children (middle school aged, maybe?) milling about the inner entrance of the tower. 

“What are all these damn kids doing on my damn lawn?” Tony muttered to himself, but FRIDAY seemed to believe that he was talking to her.

“The Midtown School of Science and Technology has a field trip here as part of the freshman orientation week.”

“We have field trips here?” 

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

“Since 1947.”

“Even after the Battle of New York and Ultron?”

“More field trips have been approved since these events. I believe that it is PR trying to assure the general populace of the safety and security of Stark Tower.”

“Pepper okay with endangering kids for the sake of my image?”

“I cannot speak to Miss Potts's motivation or perspective.”

“Why are they just standing around? Seems like a boring field trip to just come scuff up my lobby floor.”

“I have instructed the security guard to pause the field trip till I had communicated with you, per SMART Protocol procedure.”

Tony nodded.

“Protocol beyond this point is undefined. Would you like security to detain your son? Would you-”

“Wait, wait, I. Don't tell me.” 

“Don't tell you what?”

“Who he is.”

“...you do not wish to know your son?” 

Why the hell did his AI sound like Pepper just then? Another one of his AI is judging him. He was tired of the AI he made judging him.

“No, I want to figure it out.”

“You wish to try and discern which one is your son?” Confused AI was better than judgmental AI.

“Yeah, like a mystery.”

“Mr. Stark, coping mechanisms after a shock like discovering that you have a biological son-”

“Nope. Me being a deadbeat father is just the worst thing. But playing solve the son sounds like fun. Don't take this away from me.”

“How do you wish to proceed?”

“Alright, have they all been processed?”

“Yes, the security guard was instructed to stop after the group was processed.”

“Okay, rewind the security feed to the beginning. Enhance audio and zoom in a bit,” he said as his hands mimicked the commands. 

“Welcome Midtown freshman class to Stark and Avengers Tower-”

“Can you fast forward it and introduce the suspects?” 

“Suspects?” 

“You know, my possible sons. You said son, so that cuts down the options. Way to take away some of my fun.”

“You used gendered language; sister and uncle, as your examples of family. Due to my mirroring encoded-”

“With my luck that scary little girl glaring at everyone would be my daughter,” he said pointing to a girl with curly hair and baggy clothes. “And she would hate me just like Wanda does.”

“You are looking for your son, she is a biological female-”

“To the suspects! The game is afoot, Watson!” 

The teacher walks through, “Welcome, Roger Harrington.” 

“Wait,” Tony zooms in on the teacher. Brown hair, brown eyes, clearly into science and technology if his job at the STEM school was any indicator, “I am not that old, am I?”

“...do you wish for me to answer that?”

“No, no, I am not that old. And I was a precocious kid but not that precocious. Official answer.”

“What?” 

“For the game, I am submitting my official answer, in the words of Michael Jackson, ‘not my son!’”

“Correct, Mr. Harrington is a little too old to be your son. Based on your bedroom history the oldest a child you could-”

“Nope, don't want to know. Teenage me should not have done that and teenagers should not be doing that. Gross.” 

“Agreed. The brains of teenage humans-”

“Teenage humans. Huh, freshman, what, does that make my son–15?”

“He will be 14 next week.”

13, almost 14, years of a life and Tony has missed out on all of it. 

“TMI. Make sure that the birthday spoiler doesn't help me win the game. Tony Stark is not a cheater. Push play, Fri.”

FRIDAY welcomed each student.

“Bryant, Betty,” girl, peppy, official no.

“Brown, Abe,” boy, nice laugh. Possible.

“Ionello, Jason," boy, seemed chill. Possible.

“Jones-Watson, Michelle,” girl, glare-y. Official no.

“Leeds, Edward,” boy. Tony's focus was impossibly more sharpened upon hearing his own middle name. The boy, Edward, looked around all starry-eyed, mouth agape. 

The boy called out towards the back of the line, “The building said my name! The building told me to have a nice field trip. This is so AWESOME!!!”

Possible. Very possible 

“Moon, Cindy,” girl, prim and proper, official no.

“Murphy, Charles,” boy, forgettable, possible.

“Parker, Peter,” boy. 

FRIDAY gave the tiny boy the customary greeting. He looked around in wonder and actually responded, “Oh, uh, hello FRIDAY. It is nice to meet you. I hope you have a great day too.”

Tony snorted, the kid was too polite to be his. But still possible, even if not probable. 

“Thompson, Eugene.” 

Eugene insisted on being called “Flash” because he was “bright and fast, like a flash.” And “all the kids” at his old *insert fancy, private Ivy Preparatory school name here* called him that. 

Damn, that one was probably his. With that loud-mouth ego that generally speaks to internalized inferiority complex or daddy issues or whatever.

Genetically speaking, some seemed a bit more unlikely than others. But genetics were weird and just because Abe and Edward didn't look exactly like him didn't mean much, they could have just taken after their mother. He could have FRIDAY run a facial similarity comparison, but that would make the game too easy. 

Abe Brown answered a tour guide's question with confidence. Then he made a joke about how he could lead the tour, which the graduate school intern leading the group did not seem to be amused by.

Jason Ionello, handsome but approachable, was making eyes at Betty Bryant. Betty either did not notice or did not reciprocate his interest. 

Charles Murphy, who definitely had a face, a human face, even if Tony couldn't remember it, gave a correct answer to a wrong question, got embarrassed and stopped talking for possibly ever?

Edward Leeds and Peter Parker seemed to know each other. Tony fast-forwarded through the boring bits and was nearing the point where he would catch up with the real-time field trip. Those two walked really close together and would talk when it was socially acceptable. Peter would whisper. Edward, whose nickname seemed to be Ned, whispered really loudly. Upon seeing a particularly cool design at the Future of Stark Industries exhibit they did some sort of intricate handshake. Besties. How nice.

Eugene “Flash” Thompson coughed out, “Gay.” And proceeded to bestow Peter Parker the nickname Penis. Which was stupid, considering the closer option Pecker was right there. 

“Doesn't the Stark Tower have a hard “no-bullying” rule?” Tony asked. 

“Supposedly. That rule was enacted because there were many claims that you had created a hostile workplace. You never got in trouble even after the rule became policy, so it is largely regarded as ineffective.”

Tony scrunched up his face. But before allowing himself to get distracted, he shook his head and got himself back on target. 

“Could you maybe intervene or at least alert the teacher?”

“I could do either. Which would you prefer?” 

Peter Parker looked like a kicked puppy.

Ned asked, “Hey, Eugene, that cough seems pretty bad. Maybe you need to go to the nurse. You might be too sick to be on a field trip.”

“Penis” and “Gay” Mr. Harrington was deaf to, but “sick” caught his attention. 

“Mr. Thompson, are you ill? We don't want you spreading your germs, Stark Industries is an international hub. If you-”

“Oh no, Mr. Harrington, I am fine. Probably just the dry air. I am really glad to be here. I believe that I have you as my computer science teacher. I have been looking forward to your class.”

Brown nosing was not a traditional Stark strength. Starks were usually the ones getting their butts kissed, not doing the kissing. 

“Fast forward.” 

“I cannot. You are currently watching the live security feed.” 

“Where are they going?” 

“After having finished up at the Future of Stark Industries exhibit, they are heading to the Avengers Museum.” 

Tony rushed over to the door of his lab. He grabbed his baseball hat and sunglasses and put them on.

FRIDAY asked, “What do you intend on doing, sir?”

“I am going undercover to investigate,” Tony explained, as he looked in the mirror by the door and adjusted his hat. “Taking this game to the next level.”