Archive of Our Own

There is something wrong with Shane Hollander’s husband.

In the twelve years that they have known each other, Ilya has not once said no to trying out something new. During their first stay at the cottage Shane really wanted to go camping. Ilya, being raised in a city and used to sleeping with an actual roof above his head, had immediately agreed. He had hated every second of it and ended up with enough insect bites to have Shane drive him to the ER.

Even if he knows it won’t work, he will still give it a shot. When someone’s tweet, containing a list of things that ‘Ilya Rozanov could do to them and they would thank him’, came across Shane’s timeline - Ilya said yes without even reading it. That night he had pushed Shane to his knees in the bedroom and asked him if he needed to be punished. It had taken one singular ‘daddy’ from Shane to completely kill the mood and kick off wheezing laughter. For the first time in weeks they went to bed without having sex because neither of them could stop laughing.

It truly does not matter what the outcome is. Ilya’s second favourite word is ‘yes’ (only beaten by ‘Shane’). One time Jackie had sheepishly asked him if he’d be open to cosplay as Elsa for the twins’ birthday party. The girl that had been hired to make an appearance as Elsa called in sick on the day of the party. Jackie was so stressed out, she started calling all the blonde people she knew. Two hours later Ilya showed up in a dress that was on the verge of tearing with a cheap blonde wig on his head. The parents of the other kids had been a bit cautious of the Russian princess Elsa with a five o’clock shadow, but came around quickly after noticing not one kid thought anything of it.

So when Shane asks Ilya if he wants to take a shower together, something they rarely get to do, he doesn’t expect rejection. Especially not since Ilya couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself ten minutes earlier. With this information, Shane furrows his eyebrows and tries to stare right into his husband’s brain. Not that it has ever worked but he figures it can’t hurt to keep trying.

“Dinner, sweetheart. We still need to eat, hm? I will shower later, do not worry,” Ilya laughs. “Go relax and I will let you know when dinner is ready.”

Shane deems the reason valid enough to not push any further after his stomach betrays him by growling loudly.

It keeps him awake all night. Chronic overthinking is a family trait that has been passed down to him in what feels like threefold. He rules out the first couple of suggestions that come up after googling. Ilya would rather burn alive than even think about cheating, a divorce would kill both of them and financial problems aren’t realistic. Feeling so secure in his marriage that his biggest concern is his husband saying no to showering together should feel like a relief. Instead, it’s eating him alive.

At around five in the morning a list of theories linked to the different excuses Ilya has used takes up his laptop screen. Some are underlying concerns, like health scares and increase of depressive episodes. Most are complete nonsense in an attempt to validate his worries. Once he can’t think of anything else, Shane sits back against the headboard and looks at the screen. Next to him Ilya is dead asleep - snoring at such a volume it keeps the birds away.

One theme keeps returning. For some reason, most of the obvious bullshit excuses take place when water is present. It just doesn’t make sense to Shane. He has actually showered before with Ilya. The reason Ilya hates rain is because it will mess up his curls. And Shane always just assumed that Ilya couldn’t swim but was too embarrassed to admit it. All of those things make perfect sense on their own, but they form a clear pattern when listed together.

A hand pushing the laptop closed shakes Shane out of his thoughts. “Go sleep,” Ilya mutters softly. He nuzzles his face against Shane’s hip and goes back to snoring almost immediately. The laptop gets placed on the floor and a few minutes later a second snoring sound joins the first one.

Three days later Shane decides to go for it. He has a couple of vastly different conclusions as to why Ilya acts odd around water, with almost all of them being a far reach. But even after hours and hours of scouring the internet, nothing else ticks off enough boxes for him to consider it. He goes over the list one more time and settles on the most plausible theory. Then he turns to face Ilya, who is sitting next to him on the couch.

“Ilya,” Shane says as he closes his laptop, “I need to talk to you about something.” Two eyebrows shoot up at that. Taking it as a sign to go on, Shane frowns and carefully chooses his words. “It took me a while to piece together, but I think I got it now. And I want you to know that I fully support you. Thinking about it, it actually makes so much sense with how you’ve been acting recently.”

There is a look in Ilya’s eyes Shane has never seen before. He swears he somehow sees both hope and despair at the same time. Ilya opens his mouth to protest, then shuts it again. So Shane softly squeezes his hand and smiles to let him know it’s alright.

“You should’ve just told me you felt so strongly about reducing water usage.”

Ilya stares at him as if he has grown a second head.

“We can donate to non-profits centered around climate change and I’ve already looked up the most sustainable rainwater tank we can install. There are a few documentaries I watched that are actually really helpful. And y’know, there are lots of companies that-”

“Shane,” Ilya cuts him off, “Shane, I love you. You are so smart and your support makes me so happy. But I really do not care about rainwater or usage or any of that.”

That leaves Shane dumbfounded. Alarms are ringing in his head and blood rushes to his cheeks immediately. “Oh yeah, no I knew that. Just uh- just kidding. Are you sure, though? Because I know you can’t swim but you were really adamant on having a lake nearby the house. People don’t really care about that unless it’s for this kind of stuff.”

“You thought I was worried about water? We went to the beach last week, lots of water there. Very big bathtub in our bathroom too. I do not think we will run out anytime soon.” The look of confusion on Ilya’s face turns into a mix between amusement and fondness. Then, barely two seconds later, his mouth falls open with an offended gasp. “I can swim!”

“I’ve never seen you swim! Can you blame me for thinking that?” Shane sputters back. His hands fly around in the air, trying to emphasise the frustration in his words even further with gestures. “You’ve just been acting kinda weird for a while now. It doesn’t make any sense.”

They look at each other in silence. Then Ilya sighs, grabs Shane’s hand and pulls him along. He ignores the confusion behind him as they walk through the backdoor and eventually stop at the edge of the small lake.

“Why do we have this?” Ilya asks, pointing at the water. “You have never seen me swim but I wanted a house that comes with lake. So why would I want that even if I do not worry about water?” Desperation claws its way out of Ilya through his voice.

Gears start turning in Shane’s head once again until they click together. His eyes grow wide. He read about this before, Rose had sent him a video and article explaining it. One of her friends got a new entertainment job in an aquarium as a ‘mermaid’ and had fallen in love with it. She now has multiple custom-made tails in a variation of colours. Shane still doesn’t entirely understand the thought process behind it, but if it makes Ilya happy he’s more than ready to learn.

“Oh,” Shane says, “I think- holy shit, I know what you are. Why didn’t you just tell me, Ilya? You know I’d never judge you, especially not for something like this. If anything I would love to know more about it.”

Ilya throws his head back with a groan that is pure relief. “Fucking finally! It took you so long, Shane. I did not want to tell you out of nowhere but I was not sure how to ease you into it either.” He takes off his shirt and lowers his jeans whilst talking. “Let me show you, yes?”

“Yeah, of course. Fuck, Ilya, you’re so dumb. Stressing me out for nothing,” Shane laughs, watching Ilya walk towards the water. There is a wide grin on his face. He definitely has some more research to do later, not wanting to come across as ignorant. But for now knowing his husband isn’t hiding a life-changing secret is more than enough to settle his worries. “You could have just said you are a mer-”

His words cut off when no shiny mermaid tails resembling the ones in the video get taken out of the shed. Instead of somewhat bashfully explaining his new hobby, Ilya submerges fully into the lake. Five seconds later something big and round is floating in the same place.

“Manatee. A mer-manatee.”

Bubbles float up as a response. Shane thinks he might pass out.

“You know, when I transform I actually have your in-season diet too,” Ilya says an hour later. They’re sitting in front of the fireplace so Ilya can get his body temperature back up. Apparently the Canadian waters are too cold for manatees, even in the heat of the summer.

“For sure?”

“Yeah. Grass.”

Shane smacks the back of Ilya’s head, who doesn’t even try to hold in his laughter. So far neither of them have spoken much. After Shane had freaked out for about five minutes, he came to the conclusion that his life is quite unbelievable already. His husband being a manatee is somehow still not the weirdest thing that happened.

“So is this a genetic thing or?”

“Yes. No. A little yes, a little no.” Ilya waves his hands around as he says it. “The youngest children in my mother’s family transform into animals when they turn twenty. My mama was the youngest of her siblings, so she turned into a lynx. I think her aunt was a bear, there was a wolf cousin. All animals that live in Russia.”

Letting himself process the words first, Shane nods along slowly. “But manatees aren’t native to Russia, right?”

“When Scott Hunter was our age they were. But those went extinct like three hundred years ago, so no.” Ilya grins proudly when he hears Shane chuckle at that. “My twentieth birthday party was in Miami. There I found out that being Russian does not mean you turn into Russian animal. Apparently you turn into an animal that is native to your exact location.”

A loud and unrestricted laugh from Shane scares away some birds in a nearby tree. He pushes Ilya away from him, falls onto his side on the couch and then crawls back upright whilst still laughing. It takes a while before he has the last bit of laughter out of his system.

Ilya looks at him with raised eyebrows and a smile. His shoulders are fully relaxed, slouched against the couch cushions. The expression on his face holds clear relief. “Yeah, no, go ahead. That is what every man likes to hear after telling their husband their biggest secret.”

“I think most men don’t have a secret that involves being a manatee. Their big secrets are probably cheating or some bullshit,” Shane snorts. “It’s just ironic, y’know? You are an athlete as a human and your animal form is.. round and plump.”

Immediately Ilya’s eyebrows come crashing down. He looks at his husband as if he just told him the single most offensive thing he has ever heard in his life. “You are so uneducated, Hollander. Excuse you. Manatees do not have more than five percent bodyfat, I will have you know. They are muscle and big lungs - just like I am in my human form.”

It shouldn’t cause Shane to fall back into a fit of laughter. It still does. Mostly to cope with how bizarre the situation is.

“How does it work? Do you control it yourself or is it a time related thing?” He asks once he has calmed down a bit. Their hands find each other and their fingers intertwine. Shane presses his face into Ilya’s curls so he can plant a kiss on the top of his head.

“Ah, yes, I control it. But not always. If I have not turned for a long time, I can not hold it back when I get water on my skin. Usually happens after a month.” Ilya explains. His eyes crinkle with his smile, though there is a hint of sadness to them. “Canada is not ideal for manatees. Is why I try to delay it as long as I can.”

Those words hit Shane quite harshly. “But you shouldn’t be delaying it, that doesn’t sound healthy. And I’m guessing you really like to be in that form as well?” The apprehensive nod he gets in return is all the convincing he needs to grab his phone. Within a minute there are over ten opened tabs on pond heating, ecosystems in mangroves and natural manatee habitats.

They sit outside for hours. Anya follows Shane to the fireplace after he retrieves his laptop, demanding cuddles. The three of them spend the evening watching videos and bookmarking companies that would be able to help transform the lake. Ilya can’t stop staring at his husband with the biggest smile.

“You are my life,” he tells him truthfully when the laptop closes. In front of them the fire has died down, next to them Anya snores peacefully. “I am sorry for not telling you sooner. I was scared it would be too much, that I would be too much.”

“Shut up,” Shane cuts in as he rolls his eyes with a genuine smile. “You’re a fucking idiot. Just shut up. I love you so much, you dumb asshole. Of course you aren’t too much. Yeah obviously this isn’t what I expected, but I also didn’t know this was an option. You can transform into an animal, Ilya, that’s insane.”

“Very contradicting words, sweetheart.”

“I take it back, you are too much. Go sleep in the bathtub.”

Unlike his mother, Shane isn’t one to make endless spreadsheets. Yuna manages his brand deals for some part but has mostly taken a step back from it. However, if a situation calls for it, Shane will try his absolute best. Which is why he is currently seven pages deep into writing emergency plans regarding Ilya.

“Okay, say you’ll get stuck in your manatee form. How will you communicate that to me?” Shane asks, not looking up from his tablet.

“That has never happened before,” Ilya snorts. The look he receives after that has him throw his head back with a groan. “I do not know. Maybe put a log somewhere that I will bring to you?”

Shane deems the answer acceptable enough to write it down. “And if you transform but you aren’t in the water?”

“Is impossible.”

“That’s why I asked if and not when.”

“It will never happen.”

“Just pretend it will.”

“Ohmygod, fine. You call rescue center people. Same what you would do with wild animals.”

The only sound in the room for a while is Shane typing on his tablet. Until he breaks the silence. “Imagine you would get kidnapped by scientists-”

Ilya stands up from the chair and throws a leg over Shane to sit on his lap. He clings onto him with one arm and tries to push the tablet away with his free hand. “No more questions. It is off-season, no press conferences allowed.”

It’s a given that Shane wraps his arms around his husband immediately. “Sorry, sorry. That was a dumb question. I’ll stop, promise,” he says after a kiss. The dead serious eyes staring at him makes him laugh. Shane’s hands slide down to Ilya’s hips, then make their way to his ass. They make out like that for a while, only breaking apart to take a breath.

“What if you’d get stuck like half manatee half hum- Sorry. Nooo, don’t leave!”

Then Shane is alone in the livingroom. He eyes the tablet next to him but decides against it. Hearing Ilya scoff from the hallway is enough of a hint to hurry up and follow him.

A few hours later, after showering together and trying not to get distracted, they are driving to the centre of Ottawa. The head coach of Shane’s gold medal-winning World Junior Hockey team had invited the team, as well as their significant others, for a reunion dinner.

“Do you think they will be surprised? Their captain married the enemy. Even worse, he married the enemy’s captain,” Ilya says, sounding giddy. “Yes, yes, I know. Whole world knows about us. But not everyone keeps up with hockey news, no?”

“Pretty sure non-hockey fans know about us too. Remember that guy stopping us for a selfie in Sobeys? He called us a ‘Tiktok couple’. I don’t even have a Tiktok account.”

That makes Ilya laugh. “You appear so much on mine, he thought we shared one. Is nice though, someone not talking about our work for once.”

“What are you talking about? I thought being an influencer was your main job. With the amount of shots you missed last season it may as well be,” Shane grins. He just barely manages to dodge Ilya’s elbow whilst keeping the steering wheel straight. “Hey, off. Oh, by the way, I ordered those baby-proof cabinet things. I kinda spiraled thinking about you.. you know. And then being alone in the kitchen.”

Ilya’s eyes turn wide with unbelievable shock. He sputters a whole lot before voicing his thoughts in a near shout. “You think I am going to kill myself?!”

Mirroring that same wide-eyed shock, Shane slams his foot down on the brakes until they come to a screeching stop on the side of the road. “The fu- no?! What the fuck, Ilya? Of course not, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Wrong with me? You are telling me with big smile on your face how you do not trust me with knives!” Ilya stresses loudly.

“Oh my god. Oh my fucking- no, holy shit. I meant if you’d transform suddenly or something! Maybe manatee-you would try to eat the same foods as human-you!” Hearing himself say it out loud makes Shane cringe. He loosens his grip on the steering wheel and leans back. “Okay, yeah, that’s stupid. Sorry. They’re for the team’s kids mostly but I got stuck thinking about a freak accident.”

“Shane, you need to listen. I already told you that it will not happen. You are not taking me seriously.” There is a beat of silence during which Ilya takes a deep breath. “It is a very big change, yes? Of course you are worried about small things. But just because you now know about it, does not mean I forgot. So if I tell you that something will never happen then you have to trust me.”

The corners of Shane’s mouth turn downwards into a pout. His shoulders sag along with them. “Fuck, sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry, Ilya, I’ve been acting shitty all day about it. Obviously I fully trust you.”

“Okay. Good. Besides, nothing to worry about anyway. Our fridge is full of your stuff. All safe for me to eat in both forms.”

“God, you’re such a dick.”

“Me? You basically said I would slice my wrists open.”

“I did not say that! I did not imply that either!”

“Is not what I am going to tell Galina.”

Before Shane crashes into a parked car or lamppost out of frustration, Ilya grins smugly at him. He gets an unimpressed look back.

“We’re looking at a huge timetable here. This is going to take all summer and fall, maybe even up to winter. The dome will be ready in a few weeks, sure, but the hardest part is going to be what’s inside of it,” Jodi, the project manager, tells them. “If you’re serious about recreating a mangrove environment then we’ll have to do it as an official restoration-through-planting research project. Once it’s finished quarterly visits will follow, with researchers documenting progress.”

Ilya and Shane are sitting in front of Shane’s laptop with Jodi on the screen. Anya’s head is on Ilya’s lap, who has been focusing on petting her so he won’t give any attention to the weird feeling building inside his stomach.

“That’s fully okay. Of course, I mean- yeah. Will they know about the situation as well?” Shane asks, linking his pinky together with Ilya’s out of frame.

“No, but they’ll sign an NDA. You won’t even have to be present when they’re there. On paper this is a new exclusive worksite to test out further mangrove restoration. No address, no names.”

“And the animals?”

“The fish, crabs, gastropods and mollusks are all accounted for since they’re necessary to maintain biodiversity. Especially the filter feeders and the crabs. We’re screening for caretaker experts that would allow birds and smaller reptiles. This is all through the wildlife division, we work with permits and strictly the animal species that would help the ecosystem. You said you would be okay with hiring someone if I’m not mistaken?”

“Yes, absolutely. We can accommodate them with a living space nearby.”

It takes an hour to finalise all details before the laptop gets turned off. During the entirety of those sixty minutes Shane makes sure to keep touching Ilya. They hold hands, their knees meet each other. It’s the reason why Ilya stays seated after the screen goes black.

“This is so fucking weird, dude. Holy shit. I think the worst part is how awful I feel for not really giving a shit about the environment until now,” Shane confesses.

Not expecting those words, Ilya laughs so hard he starts coughing. The weird feeling in his stomach dissolves without any further issues. He grabs Shane’s wrist and pulls him on top of him. “This is about me, Shane. I need to be all emotional and cry about it.”

Shane snorts. “Do that when I’m not near your face, please. I don’t feel like getting any snot on me.”

“But how am I going to thank you then? If there is no snot then it is not genuine enough.”

“Thank me? Ilya, we share our money. Go thank yourself in the mirror with the whole crying and snot thing, then. I’ll take a blowjob if you want to thank me so badly. Might even reciprocate it.”

“Wow, Hollander, talk dirty to me. Tell me more about how you will ‘reciprocate’ like it is not your favourite thing to do in the world.”

“Anya, run? Wanna go on a run, girl? Let’s get your leash.”

Before Ilya can grab him, Shane is already up and walking to the front door. He dodges a few dog toys thrown at him.

“If you were not such a good dad to our daughter I would leave you!” Ilya yells. In return he gets a middle finger raised in his direction.

After the door closes he grabs the laptop and opens it. An unopened e-mail sent by Jodi sits on top of the screen. Knowing what’s inside, Ilya clicks on it and opens the file. A spreadsheet with the current building plans comes up. Today marks the start, the end date still unknown.

They’re going a bit overboard with it, Ilya knows that. He would be completely fine with a way smaller building without any endangered trees or seagrass seeds flown over from Florida. It would even be a possibility to visit Tampa once a month, drive to Crystal River and spend a day there. But he doesn’t have to do that. He has a salary so big it’s outright atrocious - even with a pay cut. He has a husband that has even more money, though they share a bank account, and a huge house. There are tools available to transform the private lake behind the house into an ecosystem in which he would thrive. He is even able to help researchers with it.

With that information in mind, and the voice of Galina in the back of his head telling him so, Ilya decides it’s okay for him to take up space.

It takes him a while to realise he is holding the cross hanging in front of his chest. An almost childlike giggle escapes his throat thinking about how much his mama would hate the warm, sticky air inside of the dome. And how hilarious she’d find it that her sensitive baby transforms into an animal with no natural enemies. He can vaguely imagine her tell him how perfect it is.

The only time Ilya had seen his mother transform into a lynx he was around seven years old. She had told him stories about the animal forms their family took on, how gifted they were. When Ilya asked her to show him, on a day his brother and father weren’t at home, his mother had done so. He was so in awe and excited about how beautiful her animal form was, he couldn’t help but gush about it during dinner. Later that night he had heard his father scream so loud he almost couldn’t hear his mother sobbing.

To have his own husband care so much about the gift his father had called a curse makes Ilya’s heart clench.

When Shane and Anya get back, Ilya is in the shower. He hears the front door close and footsteps going up the stairs not too long after. The bathroom door opens, which makes Ilya turn around, revealing a sweaty Shane.

“Mom asked if- well, she told me we’re coming over for dinner tonight,” Shane says whilst taking off his clothes. He throws the compression shirt and shorts into the hamper. “You okay with that? Today has been a lot so if you’d rather stay home-”

His words get cut off by Ilya dragging him into the shower.

“I am fine, solnyshko. Are you asking this because you want to stay at home?”

Shane squeezes his eyes shut and lets the stream of hot water land on his head for a second. He then repositions himself so the water stays out of his face.

“Nah,” he says, “I was just checking since you looked tired after the meeting.”

“Ah, no. Just counting in my head how many times you almost slipped up.”

“Dude, I know nothing about mangrove ecosystems or Floridian seagrasses. How the fuck am I supposed to explain what we need them for without saying that it’s for a manatee habitat?”

Ilya grins. “Maybe Anya went with us to Florida and really liked swimming there.”

It earns him a look he’s all too familiar with after annoying his husband.

Still looking smug, he catches Shane’s lips with his own and kisses him softly. In return two arms close around his waist and pull him in. A breathy chuckle leaves Ilya’s mouth when he pulls back a bit and notices the halflidded eyes looking back at him.

He wraps his fingers around Shane’s hip to hold him in place. Then Ilya uses his other hand to go through his hair, pulling on it just enough to have Shane’s head tilt back a bit.

“Ilya,” Shane means to say it as a warning but it comes out as a groan instead.

The hand on his hip travels upwards and grabs his pec, a thumb swiping lightly over his nipple. At the same time Ilya finds a spot in his neck to suck on, licking it once over after he decides to let go. Both of Shane’s hands grab Ilya’s shoulders and start pushing him down. Ilya sinks to his knees without any protest, making sure to leave a trail of kisses whilst lowering himself. He maneuvers Shane against the wall so he can avoid getting any water directly in his face.

Only for Shane to then have a literal knee-jerk reaction to the sudden cold tiles against his skin, accidentally kneeing Ilya in the eye.

“Oh shit, are you okay? Fuck, sorry, oh god,” he sputters.

Still on his knees, holding a hand over the eye that got hit, Ilya looks up. “Can not believe I am asking this but can we do a raincheck on sucking dick?”

“It’s like you don’t love me anymore,” Shane sighs jokingly, obvious relief in his voice that all is good.

The shower gets turned off. Ilya tries to stand up but gets taken aback by how disoriented he is. He pulls his hand away from his eye, still squeezing it shut.

“Okay, okay, slowly. Let me help you.” With those words Shane guides him back up. “I’m so sorry. Oh god, I think it’ll bruise.”

“Of course it will bruise. You basically bashed in my skull,” Ilya mutters.

“Yeah, well, tough luck. At least it wasn’t your nose this time.”

Both of them shudder a bit thinking back to that day.

It happened a few weeks after the start of last season. The day had been awful, losing to Carolina with 1 - 4 on home ice. Anya was sick and had thrown up everywhere when they got back. And to make things even worse, Shane’s necklace holding his wedding ring had snapped - resulting in him searching for over an hour until he finally found it right at the front door.

Ilya had convinced Shane to take a shower before bed hoping it would help them relax. Despite being absolutely exhausted, they still found soothing in the familiarity of each other’s bodies. That had ended immediately when Ilya slipped and smashed his face against Shane’s shoulder. Since then they haven’t tried too much in the shower.

“I’m really sorry,” Shane frowns once they're finally in the car. Anya is already sleeping in the backseat, Ilya is next to him putting his seatbelt on. “You don’t have any headaches, right?”

An amused smile takes over Ilya’s face. He puts his hand over Shane’s and squeezes it. “It was an accident, accidents happen. And no headaches, no. You want me to tell you my full name and what day it is too?”

Shane tries to bite back a smile. “I don’t mean it in a concussion-way, asshole. Your eye is in your head. I hit your eye, so I hit your head.”

“Tell me more about you hitting me,” Ilya snorts.

“You’re so fucking annoying.”

The drive goes by quickly. Earlier this year Yuna and David had bought a new house in Ottawa, reducing their distance to half an hour away. Ilya had downplayed his enthusiasm because he was embarrassed about how happy it made him. Still, everyone saw right through him.

Not even an hour later they’re setting up the garden table for dinner - which, as usual, becomes a competition for them.

“Please don’t break my plates!” Yuna yells from the kitchen.

“We wo- you’re such a dick!” Shane laughs as he pushes Ilya away, who is blocking him from putting the cutlery down.

“Thank you honey, I love you too!” Yuna yells again.

“Huh? Oh shit, sorry mom! That was to Ilya, not you.”

“Be nice to your husband. You already gave him a black eye, no need for a second one”

A wheeze escapes Ilya’s throat. Shane and him had swapped out the shower for a game of sewerball in the bruise explanation. Now every time it gets brought up, they can’t look at each other without starting to giggle.

David walks into the garden with a pan of pepper steak stir fry in one hand and a bowl of rice in the other. Immediately Shane and Ilya come to a halt.

Realising what’s for dinner, Ilya scrambles to take a seat at the table. “This is the recipe I sent you a few days ago,” he says with a beaming smile. Next to him David takes a seat, Yuna and Shane sitting down across from them.

“Thought it was a nice day for it,” David says, squeezing Ilya’s shoulder and managing an even bigger smile out of him.

Anya trots outside through the open door. She sits down next to Yuna’s chair, who in return scratches her head.

“Oh, I wanted to ask you boys about something,” Yuna tells them. She points with her glass from one to the other. “I ran into Mya Simmons, she helped us with building the house. We talked for a bit and when we said goodbye she mentioned a project? Told me to wish you two good luck.”

Shane nearly chokes on the sip of water in his mouth. “Anya!” He half-coughs, clearing his throat. “She uh, she likes to swim.”

Across from him Ilya’s head is in his hands.

“You’re building a pool for Anya?” Yuna asks, clearly not completely understanding. Her eyebrows are raised. “Well. That’s nice, I guess? Is it just for her?”

“Ah, he means the lake. We are turning the lake into a natural pool. Very big project, but I really wanted it. My house in Russia had a big pond and my mama always took me to feed the fish. So now I will have little bit of Russia and mama in our home,” Ilya explains.

It’s somewhat the truth. He did have a pond, his mama did take him to feed the fish. It’s just not the entire story.

“Oh but that’s beautiful, Ilya. What an amazing idea,” Yuna says in a warm, genuine tone.

He shrugs with a smile still on his face. “It was Shane’s idea, actually.”

“For Anya, Shane? Really?” Yuna mumbles to her right.

Shane throws his hands up, causing Ilya to laugh again. “I didn’t want to overstep! That’s Ilya’s story to tell, not mine.”

Luckily both Yuna and David agree with that and let it slide.

In the fall the Centaurs have their first away game, which so happens to be against Tampa. They arrive a day before they have to play and head straight to their hotel.

“The car will be here in thirty minutes. It’s an hour and a half, right?” Shane asks.

Ilya opens his mouth to answer, but gets cut off almost immediately.

“An hour and a half to what? Are we going somewhere? Hey, Bood, where we going?” Young asks behind them, now getting the attention of half the team in the hotel lobby.

“Oh, we’re going somewhere? For dinner or what?” LaPointe joins them.

Troy, Hayes and Dykstra take the near-shouting as an invitation as well. They rope Haas into it, who bumps into Wiebe on his way over.

Two hours later half of the Ottawa Centaurs are visiting Three Sisters Springs. One of the team’s managers had called a kayaking company and made sure to put in last-minute reservations for the later half of the day.

“Do you think they’ll recognise you?” Shane asks Ilya. He still feels bad about bringing attention to their plans, but Ilya has made it clear he doesn’t care. It’s an even better cover up for them to go with the team than on their own.

“Yes, Shane, everyone will know it is me. All of our teammates are so smart, I will never be able to fool them,” Ilya says sarcastically.

“Yeah, fair. Okay, I’ll cover for you. You’ll be staying in the bus because you don’t feel good.”

With that, and a quick kiss, they split up. Shane joins the others for an explanation of the tour and the safety instructions, whilst Ilya finds a spot to hide his clothes and slip into the water somewhere further away.

The tour guide leads them to the dock with rows of kayaks. “Alright, you know the do’s and dont’s. There are signs in the water with them as well, in case you aren’t sure. And one last time - do not touch the manatees. They are a protected species. This is their home, we’re the guests.”

Some of them choose to pair up and take a two person kayak, though Shane opts for the clear kayak. He goes first since he has the most experience and doesn’t need any help setting off.

It takes a couple minutes to get through the canal and the tunnel at the end. Behind him is Hayes in a glass bottom kayak as well, and Holmberg with LaPointe in a two person kayak. They point out turtles and birds to each other along the way.

“Holy shit, look!” Holmberg points to a spot a little further down.

They all slow down to stop and let a mother manatee with her baby pass them. Shane presses his lips together in a small smile as he watches. Once there is enough space, all of them start rowing again.

“What did the nice lady say, Mathis?” Hayes sighs when watching LaPointe sticking his hand out to a turtle.

“She said not to touch the manatees. She didn’t say anything about turtles!” LaPointe tries to argue.

“Dude,” Holmberg says as he looks at LaPointe sitting behind him. “They fucking bite your finger off. Have you never watched that video of the guy getting bit? Fucking gross, man. Leave them alone, they’re just chilling.”

The bickering goes back and forth for a bit. Shane shoots Hayes a knowing look, who returns it with a raised eyebrow and a grin.

“Holly! Bro, look under you!” Holmberg yells out.

Shane looks at the bottom of his kayak to find a manatee right under him. And even though there is no resemblance at all, he knows it’s Ilya. “Hey,” Shane smiles.

Ilya parks himself next to the kayak and bumps his snout against it so it’ll wobble. That makes Shane grab the side, which then gives Ilya a chance to press his snout against Shane’s fingers.

“Nooo, quit it. You’re going to get me arrested or something for touching manatees,” Shane laughs and he snatches his fingers away. “You’re a protected species, did you know that?”

Despite not being able to speak, Ilya manages to give him an unimpressed look.

“Woah, he’s still there. He likes you, Hollzy,” Hayes says.

The others stop paddling when they’re nearing Ilya. All of them look at the water with big eyes.

Already knowing what’s going to happen, Shane takes out his phone to film Ilya. He captures Hayes laughing so hard he nearly falls out when Ilya presses his face against the side of his kayak. Then he goes on to film Ilya almost tipping LaPointe and Holmberg over because they called him fat.

Right at that moment Bood joins them. “Oh, I like him. Do you think we can sneak him to Ottawa?”

“Bet Roz is gonna be so heartbroken he missed out. He would love this,” Hayes says whilst taking pictures of Ilya.

“He’ll be fine. We’re gonna come back here soon enough,” Shane says.

Ilya bumps into his kayak one last time before he swims away. As a dramatic goodbye he waves a flipper and spins whilst diving down, making everyone lose their minds over his twirls. He makes his way to one of the protected spots and starts chomping on some seagrass.

Something in Shane crumbles. A wave of adoration washes over him, making his eyes prickle. To see his husband enjoying himself so freely in a form he has to keep a secret from everyone - it’s a heavy feeling. Every time Shane thinks he’s loving Ilya to his fullest, he surprises himself by loving him even more.

“Bro, look how fucking huge that one is. That’s Dykstra for sure. Built like a fucking house, I’m telling you,” Holmberg wheezes out.

Bood sighs. “She’s pregnant, Holmes.”

“Shit, my bad. You look great, ma’am!”

Shane immediately whips his head around in horror, only to find out Holmberg was talking to one of the manatees. He meets his eyes and gets two thumbs up.

Their time ends after two hours. Everyone brings their kayaks back to the dock and gathers at the bus, where Wiebe is awaiting them. They’re finally complete after waiting fifteen minutes on Haas who sheepishly admits he got lost.

“Everybody in! We have everyone, time to head back. God, I feel like my kids’ teacher on a field trip,” Wiebe chuckles.

“Does that mean you’ll read us a book for story time?” Dillon asks.

“I’d tell you to read it yourself but I know you don’t know how to do that,” Wiebe claps back, causing laughter. He puts his hand on Dillon’s shoulder to give him a friendly squeeze and sends him into the bus.

For a moment Shane feels panic creeping up when he doesn’t see Ilya anywhere. Then he hears familiar laughter coming from the back. He walks over and sees Ilya talking to Troy, his body completely relaxed. Shane can’t help but smile at the sight of it.

“Solnyshko! You did not drown!” Ilya opens his arms with a dramatic gesture.

“I didn’t, though I think it was a close call for Haasy.” Shane sits down next to him, reluctantly accepting a wet kiss on his cheek and a tight hug. He snorts at the pout Ilya gives him and wraps his arm around him, pressing a kiss to his temple. “How are you feeling?”

Aware of everyone around them, Ilya releases a deep breath and nods with a small but genuine smile. “A lot better.”

The bus arrives back at the hotel around seven. Everyone either heads to their rooms, including Shane and Ilya. They take the elevator to their suite, kick their shoes off and fall down onto the bed.

“What did they say?” Shane asks, rolling onto his side and looking at Ilya.

“Huh?” Ilya frowns in confusion.

“The other manatees. Did you make any friends? What were they like?”

For a few seconds Ilya stares at him. Then he starts laughing, letting his head fall back on the pillow.

“Shane, I love you so much,” Ilya grins. “We do not have friendships like humans do. Manatees are not really group animals. We are semi-social so we sometimes are together, like when it is cold and we go to warmer waters, but we leave individually.”

“Oh,” is all Shane says. He feels a bit dumb for not knowing that and tries to not show it too much on his face.

“Hey, no, it was a good question. They were all very chill. And I even played with some!”

“Oooh, I think I get it. You socialise because you’re all together, but you’re not intentionally meeting up. Like when we play at All Stars.”

That makes Ilya laugh even harder. He grabs Shane’s shirt, pulls him towards him and hugs him tightly. “I will explain everything in hockey terms from now on, yes? I am so sorry, I should have spoken in your language.”

Shane rolls his eyes and sighs overly loud, fighting against the corners of his mouth curling up. “Thank you.”

They stay like that for a while. When Shane’s eyelids feel heavy, he closes them and buries his face in Ilya’s curls. Right before he drifts to sleep he thinks about how they soon will have their own similar place to the springs. He hugs Ilya even tighter.

“Are you nervous?” Shane asks. “I think you’ll love it, for sure.”

It’s halfway through December. The dome has been built, the inside has grown and flourished. Jodi has just left and now the two of them are the only ones in the humid air.

Surrounding them are different plants, flowers and even animals. There are little fiddler crabs crawling through the sand at the saltwater stream and fish swimming in the lake. A mix of red-, black- and white mangrove roots have taken over.

Ilya can’t stop smiling. It’s been a hassle the past months - permits, a ton of NDA’s, the risk of one mistake and everything falling apart. He decides it’s all more than worth it. He doesn’t have to worry anymore about finding a discreet area, he doesn’t have to withhold himself from transforming.

“Do you want to go in with me?” Ilya suddenly asks. He sounds a bit shy about it. “You do not have to, it can be scary to see upclose.”

To his delight, and not really surprise, Shane looks at him as if he’s highly offended. “The fuck are you talking about? Of course I do. You can do the coolest thing ever and you think I don’t want to see that? Fuck off.”

With that Shane starts to undress, revealing his swimsuit underneath his clothes. He grabs the diving goggles that he brought and puts them on. Without waiting on Ilya he steps into the brackish water where there aren’t any mangrove trees nearby. They had made sure to keep a small part of the lake safe for swimming.

Not wanting to waste another second, Ilya starts taking off his clothes. He strips down until he’s fully naked and makes his way to the water as well.

When Shane submerges himself, Ilya swims a bit further away and lets the transformation take over. He isn’t able to see anything for a few seconds until it’s done. Due to bad nearby eyesight he can’t make up Shane’s expression. But his hearing is better than ever, meaning he doesn’t miss the gasp.

Or the coughing that comes after breathing in water.

“Shit, ugh. Shouldn’t have done that,” Shane groans.

Ilya slowly floats towards him. He hears Shane laugh in awe.

“Oh I can touch you now!” The enthusiasm pours over. “Woah, you feel weird. Good-weird. Your whiskers are so cute.”

A hand goes over Ilya’s back. It ends in front of his face, nearly touching his whiskers. So he pushes his snout against the handpalm in front of him and revels in Shane’s laugh.

“Go explore, yeah? I’ll still be here.”

With no convincing needed, Ilya swims off. He dives to the bottom and uses his flippers to push himself further. Fish swim by, not feeling any threat that keeps them away. There are patches of seagrass all around him to eat from.

Eventually Ilya is done discovering and gets back to the brackish water. There he finds Shane, who got his phone out and is taking pictures with a huge smile.

Two hours later Ilya feels exhausted in the best way. He spins around as a signal to Shane and then swims to a deeper part. Right when he gets ready to transform back, he hears the doors open.

“This is.. much more than a pond,” Yuna laughs in shock to herself.

Her footsteps are not loud enough for Shane to hear over the sounds of the mangrove. For Ilya they are an intruding noise. He tries to warn Shane, spinning around and waving his flippers, but has no luck in doing so. His husband seems to understand that something isn't right but has his focus fully on Ilya.

“Shane? What is all of this?” Yuna raises her voice a little as she comes closer. She finally reaches them and looks at Shane in bewilderment. “Oh jesus, is that a manatee?”

All colour drains from Shane’s face. He turns around to meet his mom’s eyes, mirroring her shock. “Mom, what are you doing here? You said you’d come at five!”

The distress in his voice alarms Ilya. Swimming away is his only option right now, so he tries to seek cover between the mangrove roots.

“It is five, Shane! I was looking for you guys because only Anya was inside. What the hell is this?!” Yuna’s voice is close to panic.

Looking at the water and then back at his mom, Shane sucks in a deep breath. “Uh. There was this manatee that was uh-, it was smuggled. To Canada. By.. manatee smugglers. You know the ones that work for SeaWorld? And Ilya wanted to rescue him. From SeaWorld.”

“Ilya rescued a manatee from SeaWorld. Right. Is this some kind of midlife crisis?”

“Yes. Ilya is having a midlife crisis.”

Yuna throws her hands up, not knowing what to do with herself. “Well at least it isn’t another motorcycle.”

Neither of them know what to say. Ilya is frozen underwater and doesn’t know what to do either. He does his best to come up for air in a subtle manner, but is very aware of how huge he is. The sharp breath from Yuna is to be expected.

“Honey,” Yuna starts, sounding worried and confused, “I need you to be honest with me. I’m not going to judge you, okay? But the exotic pet trade is very harmful for the animals involved and very illegal for you.”

“No, mom, this isn’t-. Just trust me, please. That’s not the case here. I swear, this isn’t me and Ilya being reckless,” Shane’s voice cracks from panicking. He clears his throat in an attempt to hide it.

That’s enough for Ilya. With his mind made up he swims back to the shallower water whilst carrying a log between his flippers. When he knows Shane is looking at him, he drops the log. Just like they agreed upon in case of an emergency.

“Ilya, you don’t have to,” Shane tells him softly.

“Ilya?” Yuna looks completely lost now.

“Oh god, okay. Fuck, this is gonna be something, that’s for sure,” Shane mutters more so to himself. Then he takes Yuna’s arm to guide her closer. “Mom, I’m going to show you something. You’re gonna freak out. I’m explaining it first and you won’t believe me, but I think it lessens the chances of you fainting.”

Yuna is not having it. She lets him guide her with reluctance, but still looks at him as if a camera crew will jump out at any given moment to tell her she’s being pranked.

“That manatee is Ilya. This place is built for him so he can transform whenever he wants to. His mom had an animal form as well, all the youngest siblings in his family do.” Shane stares at his mom with pleading eyes.

Ilya shifts back to his human form in front of them. He prepares himself for screaming, fainting, perhaps even crying. What he forgets to take into account is that it’s Yuna Hollander standing in front of him.

“Oh my god, Ilya, put some pants on! You’re naked!” She quickly averts her gaze.

Expecting really anything but that, Ilya’s mouth falls open. He looks at Shane, who looks back with a similar shock in his eyes, and then mumbles a ‘sorry’ whilst jogging towards his clothes.

All four Hollanders are sitting on the couch twenty minutes later. There is a weird tension that fills up the room. Ilya has just finished explaining everything and is now trying to keep it together. He feels like throwing up.

“Ilya, you’re okay. This is a whole lot to process so I really can’t have you passing out here. We love you so much, no matter what you are. You are not a problem, okay? All of this isn’t a problem,” David says, taking Ilya in his arms.

Immediately Ilya hugs him back. His shaky breath slowly steadies. The nausea ebbs away, as do the tears prickling in his eyes. “Okay,” he says in a smaller voice than intended.

The tension breaks at that moment. They spend the entire evening talking about it, asking and answering questions. Reality starts sinking in. There is a gradual shift from confusion to awe. Ilya promises them to transform the next time they come over - feeling too tired to do so now.

“Was that Ilya in the video you sent of Crystal River?” Yuna asks. She laughs at the confirmation and squeezes Ilya’s hand with both of hers. “It was so sweet!”

David and Yuna leave not long after that. Both of them hold onto Ilya just a bit longer than usual during their goodbye hugs.

That night Ilya cries maybe the hardest since his mother passed away. Shane holds him through it, whispering into his ear how loved he is. Ilya knows it’s the truth. He doesn’t even feel undeserving of it anymore either.

“SeaWorld?” He brings up once the tears are slowing down.

Shane huffs out a laugh. “Shut up, I panicked. There isn’t even a Canadian SeaWorld.”

“I can not believe Shane Hollander is a part of the illegal pet trade.”

“No, I’m fighting against it by rescuing marine animals. Did you not hear about the smugglers?”

“Ah, yes. The SeaWorld smugglers.”

During the height of manatee season in January, Shane and his parents are on a swim tour in Crystal River. They have wetsuits on with snorkel equipment. Their tour guide explicitly told them not to touch any and to keep still or slowly swim away if the manatees would touch them.

The three of them know swim tours aren’t necessarily the most ethical, but they put trust in Ilya to tell them which company is strict about rules and keeps distance from the animals. Their guide only takes small groups once a day and tells them that there is no guarantee of seeing anything.

One manatee keeps bumping into Shane. Over and over again. When he notices the guide looking away, Shane pushes back - not moving the manatee at all. Not being able to talk, he shoots daggers with his eyes.

The manatee in question is his husband.

Ilya spins a couple times before swimming over to Yuna. He bumps his snout against her arm and swims in a circle around her. She smiles with visible adoration.

The next victim is David. Though when Ilya turns to find him, another manatee is with him. He watches as David looks at him, then back down, then at him again. Ilya blows bubbles from his snout as his version of laughing.

Shane, Yuna and David swim back up. They take their snorkels out of their mouths and immediately Shane and Yuna start laughing at David’s expression.

“I thought Ilya was next to me the entire time! I’m so glad I didn’t touch him, oh my goodness. It was an imposter,” David whispers in horror.

“No, he’s been busy terrorising me. I’m pretty confident that he even tried calling over others. Trying to get us all fined, for sure,” Shane laughs.

Yuna keeps looking down at Ilya, who is chomping on some seagrass, with a pout. “He’s so cute. I’m so glad you boys told us, he looks so happy.”

That Shane can’t argue with. Both as a human and a manatee Ilya has been doing better than ever. Since the mangrove dome at their house finished, everything has been going really well. The Centaurs are currently first in points and on a win-streak, they have been hanging out with friends a lot more and Ilya hasn’t had a bad day in weeks.

Because they have another game to play in two days, Ilya and Shane fly back to Ottawa that night. Yuna and David drop them off at the airport with a rental car, wanting to stay a few days longer in Florida.

They arrive at home early in the morning. After a quick shower they dive into bed, trying to get at least a few hours of sleep.

Ilya wakes up at ten in an empty bed. He hears the patter of Anya’s paws downstairs, meaning that Shane had woken up and immediately went to pick her up from the dog hotel.

There are two unopened messages from the Hollander groupchat on his phone. Ilya opens the chat and taps on the photo sent by Yuna. In frame are three plushies - two big manatees and a smaller one. He reads the second message with a smile.

Yuna: This way you two and Anya are always with us! ❤️