captainbartholomew



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  1. Rec *

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    "Anya," Shane said. The firm voice. The one that meant sit, wait, leave it. "Easy."

    She did not sit.

    She did not leave it.

    She knew what leave it meant. She had left many things in her life—shoes, food on low tables, interesting dead things on walks, and she had done so because the rules were the rules and she was a creature who respected them. This was different. Leave it applied to objects.

    This was a breach of territory. This was a matter of pack safety.

    The rules, she felt certain, had not accounted for this.

    Post-TLG: Five times Anya battled to protect her pack, and one time she simply stood watch (like the good girl she is).

    Series
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    6/6
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    25 Jun 2026

  2. Rec 21

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    "She's my fairy godmother," Shane says, loud enough for Ilya to hear, as he stares at himself in the mirror.

    There's a long, long pause. Then Ilya laughs loudly, a genuine burst of surprise that reverberates off the doorway. "Very funny, Hollander. And you are my cute little house elf. What does that make me?"

    Vibes: Ella Enchanted meets Heated Rivalry

    50% crack, 50% fix it fic, 100% magical alternative coming out story. 🧚‍♀️ Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo

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    9/9
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    25 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    "He said it was just a stronger edible," Wyatt says. "Apparently it was supposed to be super natural, and relaxing and rejuvenating, not the weak Canadian shit, and—"

    "You say a bad word, Hazy," Ilya interrupts, pointing a tiny finger at him.

    "Right." Wyatt winces. "Sorry, kid."

    Rejuvenating. Shane turns the word over in his mind a few times, while readjusting Ilya’s little body in his arms.

    Jesus fucking Christ.

    -

    or, with the help of some mysterious russian candy and a very loving husband, ilya rozanov heals his inner child.

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    23 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    ...and satisfaction brought it back.

    Ilya looks down at himself, and where he expects to see the fit body of a hockey player, he sees fur. He tries to push himself up, heart pounding in his ears, but he can’t get his feet--paws under him, his gravity feels off, his head spins, and he squeezes his eyes shut, this can’t be real he thinks.

    He wills himself to actually wake up, thinking this must be some weird fucked up dream, but when he opens his eyes again, he’s still looking down at paws. His paws, fuck, he has paws.

    ----

    Or, Ilya gets turned into a cat--it's a mostly miserable experience for everyone (him).

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    23 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    When Shane Hollander wakes up in a world that never invented hockey, the only other person who remembers is Ilya Rozanov.

    (Set in August 2012 – a year and a half after their last hookup, during the flirtatious-texts montage.)

    Language:
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    23 Jun 2026