Chapter Text
“I know this dream of life is never ending. It goes around and round and round again..
You know the sun is rising while descending. It goes on and on and never ends..”
—“Karnak’s Dream of Life,” Ride the Cyclone.
There were two things Yuulia Rosenberg hated more than anything.
Country music,
And annoying little shits who get in the way of her chance at a good night’s sleep.
Unfortunately for her, it seems the universe thought her suffering to be funny.
Because what the fuck is this.
Was it her fault she spaced out ever since coming to the mind fuckery that was Twisted Wonderland? Yeah
But can you really blame her?
Bro I wanted to die, why tf am I here..
Everyone here are assholes. It’s not her fault she’s ignoring them.
“Henchman!” Especially that little shit.
Yuulia was currently slumped against one of the musty ass beds in Ramshackle. She did try cleaning it before lying down, but gave up at some point.
It’s not like she was picky. She did have bed bugs before..
And roaches.. probably still does.. Did? Ehhh..
Point is, she can handle the mess that was Ramshackle. If anything, her bedroom back home was worse than this.
“Henchman! Are you really going to sleep on this dump?!” Grim nagged. “I’m not sleeping on that!”
Not only did this little shit get her in trouble first thing by setting fire to the cult opening ceremony and weird statues, he also up and invited himself inside the place she was staying.
“I don’t care,” she grumbled, hugging the worn out pillow close to her chest. “Sleep outside and die for all I care.”
“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”
“Die.”
“You said that with no hesitation!!”
And she meant it too.
“Just be quiet, please,” was all she could say, just wanting to ignore all the fuckery that was her life. Why couldn’t she just sleep?
“No way! What kind of henchman are you?—“
Yuulia sighed, allowing the tingling sensation she knew all too well encompass her hands.
She squinted as the familiar pink light sparked above Grim’s head. And before he knew it, he was out like a light.
She glanced down at him, watching as the crystallized petals danced absentmindedly above the snoring cat’s head.
Yuulia sighed, burying her face again. Now if only she could find it in herself to sleep too..
Yuulia hated a lot of things.
She hated life, conspiracy theorists, rollercoasters, influencers, microfiber towels, more she cant think of..
But right now? She hated Ace.
Okay no, she already hated Ace.
But she hated him more the moment she opened the Ramshackle door to find his stupid face.
“Hey. I might have to crash in your place.”
“It’s the middle of the fucking night.” was all she said, like that explained everything.
“PLEASE?! My stupid dormhead kicked me out!”
“I would too if I had to deal with you on a daily basis,” she stated blandly.
“C’mon man! Are you really gonna let me sleep outside like this?!”
“Sleep on the porch. I’ll even be generous and give you a pillow.”
“How much harsher can you get?! Not even a blanket?!” That’s what he was stuck on?
“Mwaaa.. what’s with all this noise?” Grim grumbled as he stumbled down the stairs.
The blonde grimaced. “Great. You woke up dumbass number three.”
“Who’s one and two?”
“You and the spade guy, obviously.”
“HEY!” he sputtered.
Yuulia yawned. “What’s your name again?”
Ace stared at her blankly. “Huh?”
“Whaaaaat’s. Youuuuuuuur. Naaaaaaame,” she spoke slowly, as if speaking to a toddler.
“I told you my name though..?” He looked so lost.
“Yeah, sorry,” she didn’t sound sorry at ALL. “I pretty much spaced out since I got here. Different world and all that.”
“You GOTTA be KIDDING. We almost DIED together!” He emphasized.
“Can you leave now?”
“NO.“
Haha, he took it seriously. Yuulia loved fucking with people.
Yuulia was gonna kill someone. Genuinely.
“C’mon, you suggested this!” Ace nagged as he dragged her towards the mirror chamber with a hesitant Deuce in tow.
“And? What happens to you isn’t my business!” Yuulia groaned. “Your fault for eating that fuckass tart.”
“Back me up here, Juice!”
“For the last time, it’s DEUCE.”
After Yuulia was rudely awakened last night, Ace was left to sleep on the porch. She was also lying about giving a pillow because fuck gingers.
She had went back to bed, hoping she could finally close her eyes. Just for Ace to make his misfortune her problem.
“CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?” Yuulia had screamed outside her window, because Ace decided then was the right time to unleash his inner Adele.
Wait, did Adele even exist here?
“No! I got kicked out of my own dorm for eating a stupid tart! A TART!”
“Sounds like a skill issue, buddy. Who the hell takes food that isn’t their’s?!” Dumbass number one was certainly living up to his name.
“Yeah, I know! But he didn’t have to collar me then kick me out!”
“So apologize? You dumbass??”
So here Yuulia was, being bodily dragged through the dirt by her leg, straight out of bed and into shit that was NOT her business.
“You didn’t even let me change. This is the only pajamas I have,” she complained, already knowing the dirt was gonna be a pain to wash.
Especially since the Ramshackle utilities were.. questionable, at best.
Maaan, if her sister was here, she’d threaten to sue, then try to guilt trip Crowley or something. She'd probably annoy him until he relented.
“I’ll buy you new ones,” Ace waved her off.
Yuulia perked up. “Really?”
“Nah. I—hEy, what are you—? DON’T BITEME!”
"Henchman, grab the-"
"Don't boss me around. Grab your own food," Yuulia was not in the mood to play servant. Especially in the overstimulating environment that was sweaty teenage boys fighting over the last pretzel stick. No thank you.
She went about her business, grabbing what she wanted, leaving Grim in the dust.
"HEY!!"
Yuulia flopped onto the closest table she could find, burying her face in her arms. God, she hated everything.
Ace's plan to head back to his dorm had been a bust. Not only did that diamond hoe trick them into doing his work, afterwards he kicked them out. Yuulia was forced out of bed for NOTHING.
Not only that, but she didn't even have enough time to change when the bell rang. So she spent the entire day in her dirty ass pajamas, which probably belonged to someone's great 10x grandpa because apparently Crowley was too broke to even provide her clothes of her own.
Like Yuulia said. This school was full of assholes, and it all started at the top which was the chicken motherfucker they call a headmaster--
"Hey, Prefect!" Called an oh so familiar voice.
She groaned. She didn't even need to look up to know who was approaching her.
"Can someone nuke this school?"
Deuce, who sat across from her with Ace, looked concerned.
"What's a nuke?" "Don't fucking talk to me." "Ohokay."
“Hey, hey!!” WHY DO THESE GUYS WANT TO TALK TO ME?!
Yuulia finally raised her head just as Diamond Hoe and Green Guy settled at their table.
“Look who I have~!” Hoe held up a grumpy Grim in his hands. “Little guy would’ve gotten into a fight if I didn’t nab him. You gotta watch over your students, Prefect!”
“Why should I?” she rose a brow mid-spoonful of apple sauce. “Life would be more peaceful.”
Grim balked. “Why do you hate me!?”
“Give me a reason to like you,” she stated bluntly, rousing a chuckle from next to her.
She glanced over to Green Guy. “What?”
He waved her off sheepishly. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just–you both act like siblings. It’s endearing.”
The blonde’s face scrunched in disgust. “Oh, ew. I’d kill myself again if I was related to the flying rat.”
Hoe paused from taking selfies with Grim. “Whaaa—“
“I am NOT a rat!” Grim interjected, finally managing to escape Hoe’s grasp. “I’m the great Grim, and I’m gonna be the greatest mage out there!
“Anyways, why are YOU even here?” Grim pointed at Hoe. “You’re the guy who kicked us out for no reason!”
“Haha, sorry. Just trying to follow the rules. I like keeping my head, thank you,” Diamond Hoe threw up a peace sign.
“Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER. Who are you?!” Grim pointed at Green Guy. Rude.
“I’m Trey Clover. I’m a third-year from Heartslabyul,” Green Guy, or Trey, offered a polite smile. “And I suppose you’re the new resident in that shack of a–I mean, rustic dorm?”
“You can say it’s shit,” Yuulia deadpanned.
“Also, who are you?” Yuulia turned to Hoe.
He raised a brow. “You don’t remember?”
“I don’t remember shit from this morning besides Ace dragging me out of bed,” she sighed. “I’ve been calling you Diamond Hoe this whole time.”
Hoe, or Cater, as Yuulia later learned, stared at her blankly. “I.. don’t know what to say to that, to be honest.”
Yuulia wasn’t expecting him to.
Everyone at the table turned when they heard a choking noise.
It was Grim, who somehow snuck a bite of Ace’s chicken, now choking on the bone.
Yuulia felt her soul die a little.
“ACK!–“ “DON’T PUKE ON ME!–“
Fucking dumbasses..