Work Text:
Archive from 2012, multiple source
best driver on da grid
Jenson
Guess who’s finally single again biatch :P
Seb
Raise your hand if you’re not surprised
Mark
🖐️
Lewis
🖐️
Nico
Hate to agree with you Seb but 🖐️
Seb
Whoah, lots of love coming from my own country
Fernando
Won’t say much about this XD
Lewis
I don’t know how you managed to stand him for that long Jense
Jenson
No don’t say that Lew
Nando is an excellent boyfriend <3
Nico
Lew is my nickname for Lewis >:(
Fernando
The compliment is returned :)
Seb
First of your ex who don’t hate you Jense
It’s worth celebrating
Jenson
So. Not. True
You all love me here
Mark
First of all, I don’t really
Second, link with what Seb said?
Jenson
Well, you’re all my exes
Lewis
??
What
Seb
Unlikely
I’m not, for example
Jenson
I count in it every relation, including sexual
Seb
Oh ok, then yes, we are
Mark
What?!
You and Jenson??
I don’t want to know actually
Seb
Smart move
Nico
I’m not your ex
Jenson
Yet ;)
Don’t worry Britney, you’ll fall for me any time soon
Nico
I wont
And stop with this nickname
Jenson
You love it
Nico
I don’t
Lewis
You do ;)
Nico
Whatever
WAIT YOU SLEPT WITH LEWIS?
Jenson
I might’ve
McLaren quarter tend to get lonely sometime ;)
Lewis
It only happened once!
A mistake driven by tiredness!
Nico
But it happened
Jenson
Twice actually
But yeah don’t worry, your reputation of « married to my work » won’t be impacted
Fernando
Replied to « McLaren quarter tend to get lonely sometime ;) » : they sure do, don’t they Lewis?
Mark
What?
Jenson
Hold up, I’m not aware of this one
Seb
Surprising, you gossipy queen
Jenson
Shut up, I need new info
Lewis
We both know that it was a mistake Fernando
Nico
So you lied when you said that you weren’t searching for that kind of relationship?
Jenson
It seems to only happen with his teammate, wait for him to come to Mercedes
Don’t worry, Nico you turn will come ;)
Nico
I have more than waited
Lewis
Or Nico to McLaren?
Nico
I certainly won’t
Jenson
I appreciate that Britney, don’t want to lose my seat
I know you do it out of love for me
Nico
I don’t
Mark
Not a big loss for formula 1 if you lose your seat
Jenson
Quiet boy when you talk to a champion
Which you aren’t
Mark
Bitch??
So is Nico btw
Nico
Hey!
I’ll be a champion before you!
Mark
Unlikely
Seb
Hold on, I’m thinking about something
Mark
Now THAT’S something worth celebrating
Fernando
Mark, let the kid express himself
Seb
The « kid » has the same amount of championship to his name as you, I’ll let you know
Fernando
Not if I win this year
Seb
Nuh uh not happening
But whatever
Jense said that he slept with all of us
Fernando just got threw out
Fernando
I’m the one who threw him but ok
Jenson
Not very kind baby
Mark
Pff loser XD
Seb
Lewis, we all know
Same for me
Mark
Jenson you really are a whore
Seb
It’s not that much
He hasn’t bagged Nico (and will never)
Nico
True
Jenson
Aouch
Seb
Because Jense is not Lewis
Nico
Will you shut up?
Lewis
What does it mean?
Nico
Nothing
Seb
So that leave to us our precious little Aussie boy
Mark
Don’t call me that
Seb
You used to like it :P
Mark
Back when you were nice
Fernando
Seb don’t do « nice »
Mark
True
Yes, I dated Jenson
For a while actually
Long long ago
Happy now?
Seb
Keeping that for blackmail
Yes very much
OH MEIN GOTT
JENSON THIS IS SERIOUS
Lewis
Does it really need the all-caps treatment?
Seb
YES IT DOES
DID YOU SLEPT WITH KIMI, YOU WHORE??
Jenson
Jeez calm down
Now I’m a whore?
Seb
If you have, yes
Jenson
I haven’t
Too nonchalant for me
Mark
Yet you simp after princess Nico
Lewis
Nico isn’t nonchalant?
Seb
To you maybe
Nico
I’m not nonchalant, I’m simply better than you
Fernando
I have
Mark
Have what?
Fernando
Slept with Kimi
A while ago
Lewis
Seb isn’t answering
I think he has fainted
Mark
That’s the sound I heard from his driver's room
Jenson
And you won’t check on him?
Mark
What for?
I say let him die
Fernando
Mark
Mark
Ok fine
Seb
Whipped
Mark
Nevermind he should’ve died
Mark/Seb
Mark
You really are a huge cunt
Seb
What?
Just because I exposed your little crush on the hot Spaniard?
Lewis never understood that Nico loves him despite all of my remarks, it’s fiiiine
Mark
Fernando is clever than Lewis
Seb
Up to debate really
+
He’s finally single now
It’s your chance!
Mark
I shouldn’t have told you about that
Seb
But you did :P
best driver on da grid
Lewis
I think Mark found Seb
No news coming from them
Nico
Is it really a shame if both Red Bull drivers would disappear?
Fernando
Not to me
Mark
Woah so much love coming from you Nando
Fernando
Sorry Mark but business is business
I will mourn your loss if it helps you
Mark
I’ll take that
Seb
More like you’ll take him ;)
Mark
Sebastian I’ll swear to god I will kill you
Fernando
More like I’ll take him ;)
Mark
Oh?
Lewis
Isn’t a bit too soon after the breakup to make that kind of jokes?
Seb
It’s not a jokefojzdjvjic
Ok Mark I get it
Jenson
Nah it’s fine
We broke up like two weeks ago actually
We just chose to give a bit of time on it
Nico
In case Fernando wanted to get your desperate ass back?
Jenson
Mostly yeah
Seb
Not a single hesitation or shame in you
Jenson
Didn’t you stand outside Mark’s flat for like, an hour, under a pouring rain after he first broke up with you over a race incident?
Seb
BITCH THAT WAS PRIVATE?!
Jenson
Oops innit
Seb
At least he took me back <3
Lewis
And broke up again a month later
Fernando
You got serious issues
Seb
Name one
Nico
Adopting father figure?
Seb
Don’t bring Michael into this!
Nico
I didn’t mentioned Michael
Seb
Fuck
Issues are what make me unique ;)
Mark
You mean unhinged?
Seb
You don’t know how to appreciate perfection
Glad we’re not together anymore
You’re free to bother someone else ;)
——————
Mark
Am I the only one who saw Jenson flirt with that journalist?
Lewis
Nope
Seb
The boy is quick
Jenson
It’s been 3 weeks since my last relationship??
Leave me alone I’m a consenting adult :’)
Mark
The “adult“ part is up to debate
Jenson
Will you stop bullying me for every thing I do T-T
Mark
You fumbled Fernando, you deserve it
Seb
It’s not exactly bullying
Mark
It is
Fernando
Be kind, both of you
Redbull is filled with mean girls I swear
Lewis
Jenson is a grown man, he’s free to do his own (bad) choice
Jenson
You’re only half defending me Lew but I’ll take it
Fernando
Jenson is more than free to flirt with whoever he wants
Jenson
I knew I could count on you Nando <3
OH BTW
The journalist told me about a club nearby
Wanna go there after I win the race?
Mark
If you do win this race, I’m actively jumping out of a window
Seb
Good
And what happen if you don’t win the race Jense?
Jenson
Well, we’ll still go?
Seb
If you end up out of the podium, drinks are on you
Jenson
Is that a challenge Vettel?
Seb
Scarred Button?
Jenson
Not at all
I agree
Who’s coming?
Mark
Why not
Seb
Well me duh, I want free drinks
Kimi
I’m in
Also want free drinks
Lewis
Jeez man, I always forget that you’re in the group
Kimi
Good
Jenson
Just say you’re coming to see Seb Kimi
Hello?
Someone here?
Lewis
Already left again
Seb
You’re tripping
Is he really coming for me???
Anyways, Fernando you’re coming?
Fernando
Absolutely not
No thanks, got things planned already
Lewis
Ooh, playing mysterious?
Fernando
Piss off
Jenson
It’s a shame Nando
Another time?
We’re just missing Nico now
@Nico
@Nico
@Nico
@Nico
@Nico
Nico
Omg what?!
Jenson
Read the conv
Nico
Not bothering
What do you want?
Jenson
You’re coming to the club tonight?
Seb
Drinks on him if he’s not on the podium
Nico
Idk
Seb
Lewis’s coming
Lewis
Like everyone else but Nando?
Nico
Ok fine I’ll come
I want a free drink from Jense
Seb
That’s the reason, yeah as if
Jenson
I’ll get you the most perfect drink Britney <3
Mark/Fernando
Mark
What’s planned tonight?
Fernando
Why do you wanna know?
Mark
I want to see what kind of lies you can come up with to not spend time with Jenson
Fernando
Damn
You’re good
You noticed?
Mark
Of course
You’re always in the middle of my life
It’s quite a change
Fernando
I guess it is
It’s not like I hate him or something don’t worry
Mark
Oh I wouldn’t care if you did
Fernando
Jajaja
It’s just that
I need time to adjust
Mark
I … don’t really get it
Adjust to what?
Fernando
Things being different
We’ve dated for quite some time
Mark
I thought you were the one who broke up
Fernando
I did
We wouldn’t have worked out in the long run
I’m not what he needed
Mark
But you still want him
I’ve been so naïve
Fernando
I don’t know
I can’t just … change my whole mind like that
Like he did, apparently
I hate to admit it but I’m kind of a romantic
Mark
Jenson is a douchebag
Don’t focus on him
Focus on me
Please
Fernando
I’m not sure I still love him
But I do care about him so things are … complicated
I don’t know if it’s love or friendship
Mark
You shouldn’t drown yourself in thoughts like that
And let time tell you
Do something else in the meantime
Fernando
I don’t want to go to the club
Mark
Even for me?
Fernando
I might go there for Seb
Mark
Well there’s no need to be rude
XD
Fernando
Just kidding
I like you too
I suppose you’re right, I should do something after the race
I’ll see
Mark
Wanna go on a date?
WTF MARK DON’T SAY THAT?
Fernando
Mm?
What???
Mark
No but like a mock date?
Not a real one obviously
Just me and you trying to make you forget that stupid Brit
You don’t have to agree
It’s a stupid idea, forget it
Fernando
No, I’m down for it
Take me on a date, Mark Webber
Mark
Really?
Very well Alonso
——————
Fernando
The date was really fun actually
You were right, it did help me
Hope there will be more to come
Mark
Thousand of them if you want to
Lewis/Nico
Lewis
Where are you?
Why did you left the club?
Nico
None of your business
Leave me alone
Lewis
You just kissed me, you can’t disappear like that?
Nico
Watch me
Lewis
Please come back
Nico
And face the humiliation?
No way
You’re going to mock me
Or pity me
And I don’t know which is worse
Lewis
I won’t
I swear
Just tell me where you are, I’m getting nervous for you
Nico
Like you care for me 🙄
Lewis
I FUCKING do??
Nico, you don’t know how much I care for you!
You’re my best friend
The closest person to me
Nico
Oh
Thanks Lew
So are you <3
Lewis
Just forget about the kiss, it was a stupid dare from Jenson, don’t worry
It doesn’t change anything
Nico
I kinda wish it did
Good then
Lewis
Now tell me where you are
Please
Nico
Safe don’t worry
I’m tired, I’m going back to the hotel
Lewis
As you like it
Sleep well
Nico
Thanks
Have fun
Lewis
It was nothing but a dare Lewis
Don’t make it weird
He didn’t mean it
Lewis/Nico, unsent text, archive from 2016
Lewis
I don’t want us to fight again
I love you!
***
Nico
I fucking hate you
I don’t
I love you
Do I ?
***
Lewis
What a stupid move
I shouldn’t have said that
You kind of deserved it though
***
Nico
I’m doing all of this just to beat you
It’s ridiculous
Can’t you see how much it means to me?
How much you mean to me?
***
Lewis
You won
Congrats
Got what you wanted
Now what’s next?
Nico
I won
It’s over now
Goodbye Lewis
***
Lewis
You LEFT?
You can’t just LEAVE
Not like that
Come back you fucking coward
Defend your title
You can’t leave me
Please