Archive of Our Own

Last year was a great year for my business, so I decided to splurge and take my wife and three kids to a super nice resort in Mazatlan, Mexico. Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander were also there the week we were, and one of the days they spent at least five hours with my kids (ages seven, nine, and twelve) on the beach, helping them build a giant sandcastle with a moat around it. Yes, you read that right— no, I'm not kidding. I'm talking a huge endeavor here. They saw my kids messing around in the sand with some shovels and buckets like kids do on vacation, and went right over and joined them.

Rozanov helped my oldest son and youngest daughter with the castle while Hollander and my middle son worked on creating what was basically a complex irrigation and draining system around it. My son was practically stuck to Hollander's hip the entire time, I almost felt bad. It looked like Hollander was explaining some serious engineering to him, and to be honest, I'm not sure my son has ever listened that carefully in his life.

We weren't huge hockey fans at the time and only recognized them from the news from around when they were outed, otherwise we would have never guessed they were as famous as they were. Around hour three, my wife and I took pity and brought them some beers, and they were super grateful, like they weren't the ones providing us free babysitting. Finally, my wife and I were forced to break up the party because we had dinner reservations and needed to get the kids all showered before. Hollander and Rozanov gave them all high fives and were telling them how much fun they had. When we were packing up to leave, I saw Hollander taking a picture of Rozanov posing in front of their creation, and I offered to take one of the two of them in front of it on their phone. I hope they still have that picture.

The kids wouldn't shut up about it for the rest of the trip, and they freaked out when we told them that the two guys that helped them with their castle were super famous hockey players. (To quote my seven year old daughter: "Wait, who— you mean Ilya and Shane??").

My wife and I ran into them again the following night at the bar, and we made sure to buy them another round and let them know how much fun the kids had and how appreciative we were for their kindness. They genuinely seemed like it was nothing for them, joking about how it was their favorite part of the trip, too. We talked with them for a little bit longer, and they mentioned that they would love to see us at a game if the scheduling worked. My family and I are in the Riverside, CA, area, so the closest team is Anahaim and they only play Ottawa at home once each season, but we managed to make it work and the kids were so excited. After the game, Rozanov saw us and recognized us and made sure we went home with signed pucks and a stick from the game. Safe to say they made us all pretty die-hard Centaurs fans!

My middle son, who's ten now, is now obsessed with hockey and has gone to some summer camps and playing his first season this upcoming year. If it ever happens to pay for his college, I'll owe Shane Hollander more than just a couple drinks!

Not an MLH player per se, but when I was in grad school I would go and study at the bar that is now owned by Scott Hunter and Eric Bennett. At the time it was a real shithole, and the only reason I would go is because it was close to my apartment and the bartender would let me stay there for hours without spending a lot of money. He would also sometimes give me free drinks that he "messed up" or was "just trying out." And I think that bartender is now dating Bennett or something? Crazy!

Edit: Okay apparently they're married???

Ryan Price was one of the staff members one year at the summer camp I would go to out on Cape Breton. I think he was maybe 19 when I was a camper? And I was probably 10. Everyone called him Maytag because he had apparently accidentally dyed a whole cabin's sheets and pillowcases pink by throwing in some of his personal items with them. He was my group's hiking guide one day and we were all obsessed with him. He was super quiet but not in an awkward way at all, and answered question after question about everything we could ask for, which, as a group of 10-year-old girls, was pretty much everything we could possibly think of. I think we tried getting him to ask our counselor out on a date but he wouldn't do it. We even called them mom and dad all day. Looking back on it, he was super patient with us haha. After that, he would sometimes join our table for meals. It was so funny watching him become the tough guy in the MLH, because I only ever knew him as our sweet, quiet hiking guide that we relentlessly annoyed.

My girlfriend and I sat next to Cliff Marleau at a coffee shop while he was getting dumped. He barely got a word in, just sat there looking all hangdog while the girl went down a list of reasons why it wasn't working out. We eavesdropped the entire time, and when she left he just sat there staring straight ahead for probably the next fifteen minutes. We felt so bad but it was kinda funny. Then eventually he let out a huge audible sigh, pulled out his phone, and used the speech-to-text feature to send someone "It was a rip the bandaid off situation, period, do you want to go out tonight, question mark, first round on me, period." My girlfriend and I say "It was a rip the bandaid off situation" all the time now.

I lived in Toronto (Yorkville) while Troy Barrett was playing for the Guardians, and he would sometimes show up to the 5am yoga class I took with some of my girlfriends. We thought he was soooo cute, and he was usually the only guy there. Once, my friend tried to ask him out for coffee after a class, and he just stared at her before saying "I have work," and then basically running out the door. We were laughing so hard, because we obviously all knew that his job was hockey and this was in like August or something.

Actually, that group of friends kind of dissolved after some of us moved away, but when Troy came out, our group chat was revived and now we do a girls trip every October! So thanks, Troy!

Ran into Wyatt Hayes at Comic-Con, it was totally unexpected. He was dressed up as Spiderman Noir, went all out with it. He was so cool. I was worried I'd be bothering him by going up and chatting with him, but we ended up talking for a while about our favorite Marvel characters and everything we were hoping to see while we were there. Let me tell you, that guy knows his shit.

Funny story: the picture I took with Hayes at the con was the first picture on my dating profile for a while. One day, a girl messages me saying "ComicCon AND hockey? A man after my own heart!" Fast forward and we're getting married this fall!