Work Text:
For the past few months, everything around the server has felt off.
Every event, every gathering, even sometimes the fights carried a strong sense of impending doom. The air itself felt thick with tension. Or atleast that's how Judelow felt.
But, Jude didn't dare say it out loud. Because acknowledging it would make it real. He wouldn't be able to keep up the blissfully ignorant act if the glaring issue was constantly playing in a loop inside his head.
Sharpness was not doing well. Physically. It didn't take any genius to figure that out.
The first sign was the coughing and wheezing after each little duel they had. It was unusual for such a fit swordsman to have a continuous cough for weeks. Sharpness never gave anyone any straight forward answer regarding his health either.
Jude had ignored it then, squashed the little part of himself that felt a pang of worry for the other. It shouldn't matter to him at all. Who is Sharpness to him, even? If not just an annoyance that keeps returning in his life to cause more inconvenience.
But it wasn't exactly an easy thing to ignore when Sharp was always there. Lingering around spawn, restocking in Jude's base, challenging him to a duel. It was annoying, Jude couldn't help but notice how the man seemed to grow duller and duller each day. More muted, when previously he'd been so unapologetically loud and vibrant.
It doesn't matter, Jude had told himself. Sharp is nothing more than a rival. There's absolutely no reason to let the blond take over his mind by playing his little psychological games (though deep down Jude doubted he was that smart.)
It got worse and worse as the days went by. At some point, Jude realised that Tai, his own temporary teammate, would hang out more with Sharp than with himself during the after hours of the server. Though he couldn't really accuse Tai of betrayal. No, whatever they had going on seemed to go deeper than a 20v2.
He never asked Tai what was going on, but it was obvious that Tai knew. It made sense for him to know, too. He was the admin after all. But it also unsettled Jude. Because if Tai knew as the server admin that would mean that the situation was really that serious after all.
Said 20v2 had went horribly, in fact. For both himself and Tai and even Sharpness. Admittedly, Jude had not been paying his full attention to the fight that had been going on around him. He couldn't possibly, when Sharp had stopped mid-chase to retreat abruptly.
It was such an out of character move for the swordsman that Jude let his guard drop briefly only to get slain by Arcn.
It had sucked. Sharpness had really wanted that kill. And maybe Jude wanted him to get it as well.
The 20v2 rematch had went better. But something was still off. It was in the way that even after getting a clean win, Sharp didn't gloat about it afterwards, didn't come to snark in Jude's face, either. And it was driving Jude up the walls.
Of course he wasn't the only one to notice. It didn't take long for Parker to ask Jude about Sharp, as if Jude was incharge of all Sharpness related matters. But regardless, he did answer Parker's question, mostly deflecting them all. He knew Sharp wouldn't want anyone to think of himself as sick or invalid.
Parker didn't buy any of it, it was obvious by the way he squinted at Jude, but Jude didn't care much about that. This wasn't his problem, at the end of the day. Sharp was having health issues and that was it. Jude was not involved in this matter whatsoever. Really he couldn't care less.
Until Sharpness blew up his base.
Between the moment he had logged onto the server to find Parker's shell shocked self standing Infront of the remains of their base and the moment when he was fighting Sharpness to get his revenge- Jude remembered absolutely nothing. Though he did remember the pure, blinding rage, and the raw edges of his own heart cutting into his chest from the inside.
Even if Sharpness denied it a million times, it was their base.
Jude hadn't known how much he cherished his little den until it was there no more. Or perhaps it had never been about the base. Maybe he had believed to easily that the base was something sacred to both of them. Him and Sharpness. That Sharp also thought of it as their home. That it meant just as much to Sharp as it did to him.
They were each other's teammates back when neither of them had anyone else. And the den was their only little shelter. And maybe Jude had just fucking grown used to the interior and stuff, he supposed.
The moment Sharp had apologized mid-fight, Jude had realized that fuck, Sharpness could take everything from Jude and set it all on fire and Jude would still not have the heart to stay mad at him. He could hold a grudge, sure. But at the end of the day, if Sharp came crawling back to him Jude would open his doors.
Sharp had decided later on, that he'd help with the reconstruction of the base.
Jude had his suspicions, had his axe ready to swing for the longest time at the start of the reconstruction. Until he had realised that Sharpness truly had no alterior motifs. That he really did feel guilty and just wanted to remake what he had destroyed on his own.
The entire time the man looked like death. It had become an open secret on the server at that point. Everyone knew that there was something wrong with Sharp. No one knew what.
But they all excused him silently each time he left in a hurry to no doubt cough his chest out just outside of the entrance. Each time he muted himself in their little voice group, everyone would overlook it, give him the space. Jude felt suffocated.
Godis and bitzel had shared a few looks, Twirps looked grim the entire time, and Jepexx, well didn't seem to realise what was going on. But Parker- he looked terrified. It was subtle, but Jude knew his tells. The way he decided to retreat back into the inner rooms of the base quickly before the building and planning was even done left Jude a little worried himself.
But, Jude didn't know how to reassure the Enderman, at all.
Jude didn't even know what was going on with Sharpness. He couldn't tell Parker to not worry. Couldn't tell him that this wasn't the same thing as to what he himself had to go through back then. But he wanted to do something. There weren't many things that affected Parker this easily, and Jude just wanted to help somehow.
But the Enderman in question had disappeared directly after the base reconstruction had ended. And Jude had figured that he might want some time alone. So he waited for Parker to return. To be ready to face Judelow again.
When Parker finally returned to their base, however, he was shaking. Jude didn't need to reach out and hold him to know that the Enderman was shaking like a leaf. And as Jude has already stated, there aren't many things that could affect Parker this deeply.
"What did you find Parker, what was going on there?" Jude demanded, he hasn't been able to relax since Parker abruptly left their call. Jude had finally been relieved that Parker was reaching out, only for it to all go to waste the moment Parker found Sharpness while out exploring.
"He's not well." Parker said, Jude stared at him from where he was sat on a fletching table.
"Where's he now?" Jude demanded, hoping that the urgency he felt didn't bleed into his words.
But instead of answering him, Parker stared at him, face grim, contemplating as time ticked on.
"No."
"What the fuck do you mean 'no', Parker?"
"Jude, you shouldn't go there."
"He's not doing well, so obviously someone needs to be there with him." Jude argued. Everyone knew Sharp wasn't doing well. But if it was that bad then he couldn't stand the thought of Sharpness going through it all alone.
"No, Jude. You're not going there. Twirps is already with Sharp." Parker said, tone absolute. He was pissing Jude off.
But if Twirps was with Sharp, than Jude was, no doubt, not welcomed to intervene. Twrips disliked him, and pretty openly at that. He would not trust Jude enough to let him near Sharp while Sharp was vulnerable. All of these things made Jude's head hurt.
He wanted to be present at the scene regardless. Their rivalry was fickle, he didn't care about it more than he did for Sharpness. For some reason, in the heat of the moment, this realization came to Jude easily.
He would argue with Parker if he has to. But he needs to be there for Sharp.
"You think I care? Just give me the coords, Parker."
"No." Parker looked away, tense shoulders raised up to his ears. He looked uncomfortable, "Jude, you can't go there. As I said, Sharpness' situation is dire-"
"And that's why I need to be there!"
"No, you don't!" Parker yelled. Fists balled up by his sides, resolutely staring at the wall behind Jude.
Jude tried to calm his erratic heartbeat, Parker never yells. Not at Jude, never at such a simple disagreement.
"He's," Parker started again, voice quieter, a bit shaky, "He was hyperventilating when I found him. Seemed very weak, okay? He's defenseless." He said slowly. Staring at anything but Jude.
Jude swallowed, "I get that, but- why can't I go there? I'm just worried for-"
Parker's face crumbled, "Because it- it's never that simple with you! You become so," he cleared his throat, trying his best to keep his voice leveled, "So unpredictable when it comes to Sharpness!"
Jude watched, amazed at the genuine frustration radiating from the Enderman.
" It's not that I don't trust you to be civil, Jude. But you love to mess with Sharp- and right now he," parker ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath in, "He's really, genuinely, not okay."
"You think I'll trap him."
"That's what you always do." Parker gripped at his own hair, "Every time. Even when you know he hates it. Even when the situation is less than ideal for you to trap him. You- As I said, he's defenseless."
"I don't even know where he is right now, or that if I even have any traps near him-"
"I just don't want you to mess with him at this moment." Parker finally looked back at Jude. His gaze was weighted.
"I won't." Jude said with as much conviction as he could manage. He was known for being a good liar, but Parker should know this wasn't one of those moments.
"Judelow." The Enderman sounded helpless.
"I won't! I swear! I get nothing from trapping him when he can't even be mad about it! I don't need the loot or the strength, so, like," Jude sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, "I just wanna go see him." He confessed.
The silence hung in the air for a few seconds. Jude didn't know how else he could convince Parker to just give him the coords. He didn't wanna do something drastic either. He just wanted to get to Sharp, make sure he was okay, come back to their base and make sure Parker wasn't losing it again. That was it.
"Promise me."
Jude perked up at that. Parker continued, "No trapping."
"I won't."
"And don't try anything else either, Jude. I'm only-"
"Parker." Jude interrupted the Enderman, taking a step towards him, "I don't hate him that much."
Parker huffed, "As if I don't know that."
The tension in the room seemed to lift up the smallest bit, Jude retuned Parker's smile, "Exactly, so know that I won't pull any doohickey bullshit, alright? Just gonna go see him."
"Right."
-
By the time Jude arrived near the coordinates, it was already past sundown. He didn't have enough rockets, and his Trident was conveniently not present in his shulker. The whole way frustration and urgency bugged him to death.
When he finally reached the location, there was no one there. And for a second he couldn't help but wonder if Parker really hadn't trusted him enough to give him the actual coordinates. But then again, a good while had passed between Parker finding Sharpness and Jude arriving at the location.
But the hybrid didn't give up. Searching the area took only a few minutes, there wasn't much present there other than the meadow and the distant edges of a forest. He knew that Twirps' base was only 100 something blocks away from there. But he couldn't bring himself to actually check if Sharp was there or not.
Dejected, Jude returned back to his base.
-
| c0nexi0n was slain by Flowtives
For the first time in a long while, Judelow found himself face to face again with Sharpness.
He had happened to be at spawn just as Sharpness had respawned back. Jude approached the kneeling figure on the ground cautiously.
"Ohh, look who just died to Flow." Judelow joked, partly to calm his own racing heart down. Sharpness looked worse that the last time he had seen him.
He was fully intent on helping the man back to his feet, but obviously sharpness beat him to it. Jude watched as the blond pulled himself up to his feet, "Shut up."
And spontaneously crumbled right in front of Jude.
"What the fuck, sharp!" His arms wrapped around the other's body just in time to break his fall, Jude's heart raced as he shuffled Sharpness in his hold, trying his best to not drop the other.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this was bad. He was never good with these things, he never knows what to do with someone when they're unconscious, what the fuck was he supposed to do!?
The base. The newly built, reformed, base. Yes, Jude could start by taking Sharp there. And he could calm his erratic heart down after he has taken sharpness inside. Surely he'll figure it out. Surely Sharp will be okay.
He has to be.
-
The glass of water weighed heavy in Jude's hand. Something inside his chest sank as he watched Sharpness walk away with Flowtives. He hated every bit of it. Sharpness would probably never talk to him about this. Whatever was going on, whatever was chipping away at the man's health.
It was clear as day, more obvious than ever that Sharpness was a dying man. He was not doing well and it has been well over months since he first started not doing well. Jude feared and hated that he feared for what was to come. He feared that it was already too late. That not even Tai or Mugm knew how to fix whatever was wrong cus surely if they knew how to, Sharp wouldn't be suffering for this long.
He hated being so helpless, so useless in the face of his- his rival dying. Just slipping away from Jude's grasp so easily. He hated Sharpness for not even telling him what was wrong.
His grip on the glass of water loosened, eyes lingered on the base of the staircase as he felt his shoulders sag. He'd rather Sharpness blow up this base thrice more than walk away from Jude like that.
The boulder of ice at the pit of stomach felt nauseating. He wanted to feel anything but the dread that slowly spread over his bones and settled down deep. He wished Sharpness would at the very least, talk to him.
-
Jude's arm paused mid air the moment his ears picked up muffled sounds of Netherite clicking against quartz.
A click, and then a series of clicks that sounded as if someone was putting down something heavy against the ground. Jude resumed hammering the sword on his anvil.
Parker won't be logging on today, and Godis had informed him earlier that him and Bitzel would be out of spawn for a few days. And sure, it could be anyone, Flowtives, Flankee, heck even Sword or Tai. Anyone could be walking into his base for materials or restock. But something in his clockwork heart told him that it wasn't just anyone.
He hasn't seen Sharpness in ages, or perhaps in a few weeks. And there was this ominous tension in the server that he didn't like one bit. Everyone was walking on eggshells. Hushed voices always seemed to talking too loudly about what could happen. Everyone was holding their breath in, in anticipation, or perhaps dread.
Jude fucking hated it. Hated how it made him feel like his chest was caving in, hated how it made his already fucked up sleep schedule worse cus there seemed to always be more things to think about any time he tried to get some hours in.
And maybe he just wanted things to go back to normal. He wanted Sharpness to be around again. Wanted to be able to see golden tuff of hair over the decorative builds at spawn and think about how to mess with the guy rather than worry.
Jude was selfish like that. He didn't want Sharp to go, maybe only because no one else was as fun to trap. Or maybe because of something more.
He stashed the sword away. It would need to be enchanted, he'd need enough levels for that first though, and for that he'd need to grab bottle'o enchantings. Too much work. He didn't want potential Sharpness to leave before catching him.
He made his way to the main compound of the base while making as less sound as possible. Though he guessed Sharpness would be alert enough to tell anyway. If it was actually him, obviously.
And it was him. It knocked the breath out of Jude's lungs in a way that had him stopping dead in his tracks.
Sharpness was, in fact, in Jude's base. After almost half a month. And he looked worse than ever.
Dull green eyes stared at the communicator held in his hands. Loosely held together hair framed his face so delicately, golden lashes peaking out through the curtains. That was about all the beauty Jude's mind registered before it moved to the deep, purplish eyebags, the disheveled clothes, and the Shakey hands. And if Jude's heart slowly sank in his chest, he ignored it. Instead he turned on his heels and went back inside the base
Jude returned with a glass of water, it gave him a strange sort of deja vu. This time, he made sure that his footsteps were loud enough that Sharp would definitely know that someone was approaching him.
But Sharpness didnt look up from his communicator even as he put the glass of water on the floor. So Jude took the time to sit down beside him, facing the aquarium.
Minutes passed, Sharp stared at the communicator in his hand, Jude had glanced at the screen from the corner of his eyes to find a picture of his own turtles on it. Picture taken probably just a few minutes ago.
Something about the whole thing made him feel like screaming, even if to just get rid of the painful boulder stuck in his throat. Jude hated it. Hated how Sharp's dull eyes looked duller as he stared at the turtles on his screen.
"Haven't seen you around in a while." Jude finally spoke. Anything to get rid of the odd feeling at the pit of stomach. He just wanted to get this done with.
Sharp nodded, slow, eyes never leaving his screen.
"So like, what, you're here to talk? Finally? After what, five months or something." It was a risky move. Pressing Sharpness could very much raise the blond's hackles. Jude watched the other closely, trying to gauge his reaction.
But sharpness only nodded once again, lashes still hiding his dull green eyes.
Before Jude could speak again, his communicator pinged, but sharpness' didn't.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: I'm sorry it
c0nexi0n whispers to you: took me so long
And in that moment Judelow felt his heart squeeze in his chest. He looked up from the screen back at Sharp, who was now hanging his head lower, eyes squeezed shut. And it dawned on Judelow that even sitting right Infront Jude, Sharp couldn't talk using his own voice.
It really was that bad. Maybe even worse, if Sharp was apologizing.
Emotion clogged up his throat, Jude swallowed once, hoping to get rid of it. It didn't work though.
"No," Jude cleared his throat, "No need for, uh apologies." He felt awkward as fuck. How the hell are you genuinely meant to handle your rival's confessions who was presumably dying? How is he supposed to survive the next few minutes and come out of this unscathed.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: you probably alr guessed it no
c0nexi0n whispers to you: that I'm sick and basically dying
Jude nodded, eyes trained towards Xray, the little fish swam about inside the tank lazily. Hiding behind the sea grass most of the time.
How could sharpness say it so easily? Jude didn't like it one bit, how the other was sitting there talking about dying as if it wasn't a big deal. As if it didn't hit Jude like a thousand arrows at once. How long has he truly known that he was dying for him to accept it like it was inevitable.
"Why?" Jude asked, and thanked the Void that his voice didn't break.
That, finally had Sharpness raising his head, only to stare blankly ahead instead of at Jude.
"What is it, like what sickness do you have that you-" the hybrid trailed off, voice catching in throat. He fucking hated being emotional like this, it was his least favorite thing ever, maybe up there together with 'dying to Sharp's blade'.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: does it matter
"Yes, of course it does, Sharp." Jude couldn't help the way his voice rose by a few octaves.
Sharp stared at his screen and sighed, resignation radiated from him so strongly that Jude felt nauseated. He never liked seeing sharpness look defeated. Anger was always the better emotion on the man.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: well I'll die anyway
c0nexi0n whispers to you: flowers
c0nexi0n whispers to you: in my lungs
Judelow stared at the words on his screen.
Hanahaki. Sharpness. Sharp was dying from hanahaki of all things and he was okay with it. Somewhere underneath all the dread and sorrow, a small spark of anger ignited in him.
"You are dying from Hanahaki and you never once thought to just talk to the person you," Jude ran a frustrated hand through his hair, ears twitching as the anger slowly grew within him, "You never, never once thought to talk to them?"
Finally Sharpness turned to him, haunted dull green stared at him incredulously, before he turned back towards his communicator, typing furiously.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: how do u know u never talked to them about this
Jude read the message once, then again, distantly aware of his own body freezing up, gaze locked in on the words on his screen. Because really, why did he assume that Sharpness has never once talked to the person who is the root cause of all of this? Why did he think that Sharpness would willingly choose to die rather than burden someone else with his feelings.
He didn't want to think any more about it, "Oh."
Sharpness swiped a hand over his forehead, brushing away the bangs, his hair seemed to have grown longer. Jude didn't remember his bangs reaching his lips before.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: I didn't btw
Jude stared at the message once again, too many thoughts racing in his head. There's a bit of pause from both sides before sharpness starts typing once again.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: until now.
Jude could almost feel his heart stop beating for a second there, breath held in his chest.
"Sharpness..." Jude breathed out, stunned still, because really, what did Sharp mean?
The anger flared back to life, ten times stronger now, suddenly Jude couldn't sit still in one spot any longer.
"Sharpness you would have to explain it to me before I misread the, well... everything."
Sharp turned his head only slightly to glace at Jude once, the fishes were gathering in front of them on the other side of the glass, as if curious.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: it means what it means Jude
c0nexi0n whispers to you: but i only wanted to say goodbye here
c0nexi0n whispers to you: I don't want this to be about anything else
The anger stirred and mixed with the cloud of emotions already storming in his chest, turning into this ugly thing that not even Jude could look at without feeling like throwing up. Goodbyes? Like hell he'd let Sharp go out like a loser. He'd never let the man live that down.
"You can't fucking," Jude coughs aggressively, internally he denies that the moisture in his eyes was there, shakey hands grabbed onto Sharpness' biceps, "you don't get to say that, like, how the fuck you are just gonna- just, accept it!? There's-" Jude angry swiped at his eyes, inhaling sharply, "You still have to-"
Sharp's hands grasped at the hand grabing his biceps, cold and pale fingers a sickening contrast against his own. Jude looked away, trying to catch his own breath.
"Hey," barely audible, hoarse voice caught Judelow entirely off guard, he whipped his head around to see Sharpness looking right at him with worry in his eyes, "breath, Jude..." He said, one word at a time, with great effort.
His voice sounded nothing like him.
Jude gasped, suddenly realizing that he was out of breath, it felt terrible, felt like he was a kid again, he swallowed air in massive gulps, like a drowning man grasping at straw. This hasn't happened in ages.
"Breath....please." Sharp begged him, but none of it reached Judelow over the struggle to breath. Even as once strong arms, wrapped around him, pulling him in a hug.
Jude doesn't know how long they stayed like that. he only registered all of it once his breathing somewhat evened out again, involuntary tears have already soaked his cheeks and Sharp's suit by then. He made no move to get out of sharpness's hold.
"Sorry," Jude started, "guess we both got shitty, defective lungs huh."
Sharpness' only let out a short huff at that, before Jude's communicator pinged in his lap.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: I'm sorry
c0nexi0n whispers to you: didn't mean to startle u
c0nexi0n: sorry
"Don't fucking apologize." He hissed, raising his head form Sharp's shoulders, pulling away, "Just," Judelow took a deep breath in.
He'd hate to do this, but if Sharp was truly dying that he needed to know the whole thing.
"Sharpness, I know that you wanted this- this whole thing to go a certain way." Goodbyes, whispered the treacherous voice in Jude's head, "But I can't just- Sharp I need to know what you meant earlier."
Sharpness stared at him, looking more and more downtrodden by the second. It was as if he already knew this was going to happen.
He took his time to type out his response.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: earlier what
"You know what, Sharp." Jude practically begged the other, desperate for this to end already. For all of it to be just a stupid nightmare.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: I told u alr
c0nexi0n whispers to you: it means what it does jude
"I don't know what it means. Tell me."
Sharpness leaned back against the glass, staring at the dome overhead, before signing.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: ask the right question then
It's so damn stupid that Jude considers throwing his communicator against the quartz floor, the same floor that Sharpness himself sourced materials for. He was glad Parker wasn't online to witness this right now, because if that were the case he would never live this down.
At last Judelow breathed out through his nose, steeling himself. Void, this is about to be so fucking cringe.
"Is it me? Like, the person you, uh, like?" And fuck it sounded fucking horrible to his own ears. What were they? Fucking twelve? Who even asks someone else if they like them or some shit like that.
A ping from his communicator brought him back to the situation at hand.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: lol u sound like you're teenager asking your crush if they like you too xD
Jude shoved the other playfully, making Sharpness let out an amused breath.
"Shut the hell up, dude. You made me say it!"
c0nexi0n whispers to you: but
c0nexi0n whispers to you: it is u yeah
And even though Jude could already have guessed it, it still left him stunned, even if just the smallest bit. It was inevitable, he knew things would come to it maybe since the third or fourth week of them teaming up for the very first time. It was freakishly easy to adjust his daily life to fit a Sharpness in it. It was downright scary how well they complemented each other.
And perhaps he had already knew that Sharpness does think of him as something more. Maybe he, himself has always found Sharpness intriguing in a way that couldn't be explained as normal, or platonic, or as just a rivalry.
It's no surprise to him that Sharpness of all people fell for someone like himself. It's a bit insane that fucking flowers had to get involved in all of this though.
Judelow found his voice soon enough, snapping into reality, only to find more messages on his screen.
c0nexi0n whispers to you: don't worry
c0nexi0n whispers to you: I already know
c0nexi0n whispers to you: you don't have to make yourself like me too or anything jude
c0nexi0n whispers to you: it's fine
Jude breathed in deep, putting his communicator away to face Sharpness properly again. Reaching out to grab the other's arm.
"Alright Sharp, listen." He cleared his throat again, "I've... perhaps known this for, a while now, okay. I think I do find you interesting like that. Maybe I've denied it and played it off for the longest time and, and gave you the impression that I didn't, like, care and stuff but." Oh, this was awful, Jude couldn't wait any longer for this to all just be over.
"I do, Sharp. I do care. And I'm not saying this because you just told me about, well, y-you having Hanahaki. But like, okay, listen, I don't know how to go about these things right. And I'll... I'll try," he slips his fingers into Sharp's cold hand, hoping that the other would respond by squeezing them, "I'll try to get better and, uh, express it or some shit like that.
"I'll need a bit to adjust into it, Sharpness, cus for the longest time I, like, was in denial, Void, don't tell Parker that. But yeah. I'm willing to try. I don't- it would be stupid if you went out because of some bullshit disease like Hanahaki, okay. So-"
Jude gently hooked one finger under Sharp's chin, making the blond look up to meet his eyes. Only to be completely floored the moment Sharp looked up, and the pools of fresh tears welling in his eyes caught light.
"I don't...want," Sharp started, and Jude held in his breath to let the other finish talking, "-To burden-"
"Sharpness, you won't be." Jude instantly reassured, "I have already- already liked you for a bit now, okay? I just couldn't bring myself to, to express it or whatever." Jude squeezed Sharp's delicate fingers in his grasp. Only for it go have the opposite effect.
Because now the tears were falling freely, streaming down pale cheeks, collecting in Sharp's lap. "Jude." He called out weakly, not following up with anything else.
If Jude's heart hadn't broken in the past few minutes before this then it had definitely shattered into pieces now.
"Don't cry." Is all he whispered before pulling Sharpness into his chest, letting the other rest his head against his shoulder. Sharpness didn't sob, but Jude could hear the laboured, deep breaths. From this proximity he could even hear how badly Sharp's lungs rattled in his chest, could feel every stutters in his breath.
"It'll sort itself out, yeah? And also, please don't think that I'm only saying all of this to, just to save your ass. I mean it." Jude emphasized, "okay?"
Sharpness only nodded, sagging against Jude's shoulder like he had no strength left in himself. Jude carded his hands through Sharp's greasy and knotted hair. After all of this is over, he hopes Sharp will start taking care of it again.
They stayed like that, for as long as it took for Sharpness to calm down. Once his breathing evened out, Jude began, "You really could've talked to me about this sooner, you know?"
Sharpness didn't respond immediately, and Jude waited for a while, before realizing that there was no response from the man at all. He shook Sharpness, trying to get the man to pull away from his neck.
"Hey, Sharp?"
But Sharpness stayed limp against him, and for a brief moment, panic crossed his mind. Surely this was just the other passing out from exhaustion, right...?"
"Sharpness." He called out again, slowly grabbing the other by the shoulder and peeling him off of himself.
Only to find that Sharpness was indeed out cold.
One of Jude's hands reached for the other's arms, pressing down around his wrist. Though weak, the pulse was still there, steadily beating against his fingers. Jude sighed.
"You're so fucking cute, but holy shit," Jude shifted the man to lay his head down more comfortably against his own shoulders, "At least warn me next time you do that, Sharp." He whispered to no one is particular.
Sharp responded with a barely audible sigh that tugged at Jude's heart, embarrassing. He was not about to cheese at a grown man sighing in his sleep.
Jude tilted his head to lay it against Sharp's, wondering how long the man hadn't slept in. And if all this talk truly wore him out enough for him to fall asleep against Jude so easily.
...Jude was really, disgustingly fond of his rival, huh. And to think that he didn't have to hide it any longer. He squeezed Sharp's hand, nuzzling into the man's hair.
He could figure out his own feelings later. Right now, the only thing that mattered was the fact that he hadn't lost Sharpness. That Sharpness was here and he'll be fine. The flowers in his lungs will recede.
And hopefully Jude will get to replace them with butterflies.
Jude hid his smile in Sharp's hair, holding the other closer than ever.