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“Alright! Who can tell me the human light spectrum, question?” I ask my pebbles, grinning as many arms are flung into the air. “Eva?”
‘380 to 750 nanometers!’ She chimes, clicking happily to herself when I nod.
“That’s correct, well done. And who can tell me what frequency that is?”
More arms shoot up and I smile. Nothing beats the feeling of eager students in my classes. The knowledge that they all want to be here to learn what I have to teach them fills me with so much joy.
“Uh- yeah, Carl?”
‘400 to 790 terahertz,’ Carl says, letting out a note of smug pride.
“Excellent! Gosh, guys, you’re all coming along so well! I’m so proud of you all, statement.”
The pebbles sing together happily as I muse over my use of the Eridian grammar. Spending so much time with them makes it inevitable that I will slip into their tone sometimes. While I can’t speak their language, much to my dismay at my improper anatomy, I always find myself laughing when I accidentally use their grammar when I speak English.
“Alright class. So, with that knowledge, I now want you to-”
I’m cut off as Eva lets out a screech of surprise which is quickly echoed by almost every pebble in my class.I have to cover my ears as the notes come together in an almighty clash that sounds really rather unpleasant.
“Okay, okay! Class!” I struggle to make myself heard over their noises of distress, but I stand my ground and raise my arm. “My hand is up! Quiet please!”
That shuts them up. Well, most of them. There are still a few making upset noises, but they’ve quietened down so I can now be heard.
“Thank you! God, what’s all the racket for?”
One of the older pebbles, Annie, raises a hand. ‘Behind you, Doctor Grace! There’s something behind you!’
I spin on my heels as fast as I am able to, terror gripping my heart with the knowledge that something has entered my biodome without my knowledge. Nothing comes into my biodome unless it’s through the airlock, so what the hell is here that has given my pebbles such a fright?
I scan the beach behind me, on high alert until my eyes land on a blue box that I haven’t seen in ages. My breath catches in my throat, my hand flying up to my chest.
He’s come back to visit me.
This might just be the best day ever.
I quickly turn back to my class, raising my hand again to make them all settle down. “Okay, thank you for alerting me, but it’s nothing to panic about. I know what’s going on. So, on that note, class is dismissed early! I have business to deal with.”
Some pebbles rejoice and immediately scuttle off, away from the classroom, but some remain, clicking nervously at me. I smile softly at the remaining ones and gesture for them to come up to the biodome wall.
“Hey, I promise it’s okay. I know who he is,” I reassure them.
‘How Doctor Grace know, question? This not been on Erid before!’ Eva asks, pressing one claw to the wall. I press my hand against hers, having to stoop a bit to do so which makes my back complain.
“He visited me a while ago. His name is the Doctor, and he came with his friend, Donna.”
‘Humans?’ Carl asks, his tone filled with hope, which makes my heart swell.
“He isn’t a human. He’s an alien from a different planet. But Donna is a human. They’re both very kind, and I am so happy they came back to see me, statement!”
The pebbles hum amongst themselves before looking back at me, all of them pressing their claws against the biodome wall. I laugh softly, taking my time to press my hands against each one of theirs.
‘Pebbles happy Doctor Grace has friends, statement. Needs friends who aren’t Eridians,’ Martin says. ‘We tell Rocky, question?’
I nod, straightening up to stop my aching back from complaining too much at me. “Yeah, you can let Rocky and Adrian know the Doctor is back. They’ll be happy to see him. Now scram, I’m going to go and greet my guest.”
The pebbles chirp happily around me, before they scatter away and back up the rocks to leave the classroom. I watch them go, a fond smile on my face, before I shut down my equipment and turn to walk down the beach to greet the Doctor. He’s leaning against his TARDIS, watching me as I approach slowly across the sand. As I’m getting older, it’s becoming harder for me to actually walk on the sand. I’m going to have to ask the team to make it something easier to walk on. Something that doesn’t kill my legs and back.
As I get closer, the Doctor pushes off his TARDIS and meets me half way. He smiles at me and before I can say anything, he wraps his arms around me, drawing me into a warm hug. I close my eyes, my arms encircling his waist, leaning against him. God, I’ve missed this.
The hugs he and Donna had given me last time they were here had me riding a high for months after they left. That small bit of human contact had rejuvenated me, putting a new spring in my step that had Rocky asking me if I’d somehow got younger. It had been the best thing that had happened to me since landing on Erid, and this day is quickly becoming a close second.
The Doctor holds me for ages, the two of us standing there on the sand, basking in each other’s embrace. My head easily falls into the crook of his neck again and I nearly cry with relief, the aches in my body fading away to nothingness as his touch warms me, making me feel okay again.
Eventually (and reluctantly) we part, though his hands remain on my shoulders as he looks at me and grins.
“Hello, Doctor Grace,” he says, his soft tone washing over me, filling me with ease.
“Hello, Doctor,” I reply, reaching up with one hand to cover his, thankful for the human contact once again. Okay, sure, he isn’t exactly a human, but he looks like a human, sounds like a human, and feels like a human. He’s the closest thing I’m going to get to real human contact. Unless, of course, Donna is hiding in the TARDIS, waiting to jump out at me. I look around us, trying to spot her, frowning when she doesn’t appear out of the TARDIS.
“Donna here?” I ask, but the Doctor looks away, tears filling his eyes. I tighten my grip on his hand, concern filling my gaze as I watch him grapple with his mind.
“No, she, um- she… She couldn’t make it today,” the Doctor says, his words choked with emotion, one tear slipping down his face. I want to reach up and wipe it away but I can’t quite bring myself to. Instead, I squeeze his hand, which makes him look back at me.
“Wanna take a walk? We can go to the forest. Or we can go to mine and have Armando’s lovely coffee.”
He smiles wetly at me and removes his hands from my shoulders, reaching up to wipe away his tears. “Shall we walk? I did love your forest when I was last here.”
“Of course. Please, after you.”
We fall into step next to each other, walking in silence across the beach. I don’t really know what to say to him, and he looks like his mind is running a million miles a minute, so I decide to stay quiet. Besides, I’m too busy focusing on not falling over to start an in depth conversation. The sand is slowly becoming a bit too much for me to handle. I’m absolutely not as fit as I used to be, and while I’m not elderly by human standards, sand is quite difficult to navigate when your knees and ankles aren’t what they used to be.
The Doctor, ever perceptive, notices me struggling, and he offers me his arm, which I take, grateful for the support over the uneven terrain. He lets me lean on him as we make our way to the forest, and when we reach the treeline, he pauses with me, letting me take a moment to rest my aching limbs.
“Sorry,” I say to him. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”
He cracks a smile. “Don’t you worry, Grace. I’ve got you.”
Those three words are all I need to hear to allow my body to fully relax against the Doctor, letting him take my weight as my aches fade away. Human touch really does work wonders in healing the body.
“I saw you teaching,” the Doctor says after a moment. “It suits you. You’re a good teacher.
“Thanks! I used to teach science to middle school students before… everything. But it’s nice that I get to keep teaching here. My class is in high demand.”
The Doctor chuckles, keeping hold of my arm as we start walking through the forest. “I bet it is. They all look so excited to be in your class. So eager to learn.”
“I wish my students on Earth had been as eager as these pebbles,” I grumble, then sigh. “I miss them. I know they’re all grown up by now, but sometimes I really miss sitting in my classroom, throwing beanbags at the kids when they had correct answers.”
The Doctor squeezes my arm gently. “Of course you miss them. You’re human. It’s in your nature to miss things, especially when you’re so far from home.”
“Oh, Doctor, this is my home,” I tell him. “Earth… I had a difficult relationship with humanity. Even though I didn’t want to leave, I’m glad I did. I’m so grateful for all of this, even if I was forced into leaving Earth. This is my home.”
The Doctor smiles knowingly. “I know how you feel.”
I can tell there is more to that, but I don’t want to push him. He’s obviously upset about something, so instead of asking him, I lead him to the peach trees that have grown since he was last here. I want to make sure he feels okay and happy before I ask him about whatever it is that’s bothering him. I have a hunch it’s something to do with Donna and why she couldn’t make it here today.
He marvels at the science behind being able to grow Earth flora on an alien planet, and when he tries one, he’s shocked at how normal they taste. That, I tell him, is all Adrian. They’re the most incredible scientist I’ve ever met. How they managed to make all of this so perfect still baffles me, but them and their team are absolutely incredible.
We walk a little further into the forest, where there’s a clearing with a bench. The trees are spread out enough here that when sitting on the bench, you can see all the way down to the sea. I love to come and sit here when things are too much for me, or when I need a moment to breathe. It calms me immensely.
The Doctor sits down, gesturing for me to join him as he stares up at the sky, a small smile on his lips. I watch him for a moment, grateful for his presence in my dome. It gets so lonely here.
“How do you do this, Grace?” He murmurs after a while, tilting his head to look at me when I hum at him. “How do you live here, all alone? I mean, you can’t go anywhere, and all you have for company are aliens who don’t speak your language.”
I look away from him, towards the sea, pondering his question. It is tough, living here all by myself without any humans around me, but God, I love it so much.
“I had a really rocky relationship with Earth and humanity when I lived there,” I start, and he nods. “I never had any luck in the romance department, I was a disgraced molecular biologist who was scraping the bottom of the barrel teaching junior high school science. Not that I didn’t love my kids, I adored them. But I lived alone, in my little bachelor pad, grading papers, occasionally going to the bar to chat to the barman… I didn’t have my people.
“Then Stratt waltzed into my life and dangled a metaphorical carrot in front of my face, telling me I had the chance to prove my theory about water-based life right. She gave me meaning, then ejected me into space against my own will. She had me locked in a cell, sedated and gave me a memory drug, then shoved me off the planet. What was I supposed to do with that?” I sigh, rolling my shoulders as I feel tension build. I hate looking back at my past, especially when it comes to Stratt and the Hail Mary mission. There are so many things I’d do differently.
“But when I was on the ship, in space, eleven point nine light years away from my home planet, all on my own, I found life. I found meaning. Rocky saved me, Doctor. He listened to me, called me stupid and laughed with me. He did so much for me. He and I may have saved the stars, but he saved me first.
“So to answer your question, I do it because alien life was the first life to show me real compassion and love. Rocky was the best thing that ever happened to me, and when I had to choose between going back to the planet that kicked me out, or saving my best friend’s life? Well, the decision was already made for me. This place welcomed me with open arms when I landed. They sing my praises, they flock to my class, they’re so eager to spend time with me. I feel loved here, Doctor. I feel so, so loved.”
He has tears in his eyes again, so I reach over and take his hand, squeezing gently. He squeezes back, smiling wetly at me as some tears fall down his cheeks. I wasn’t such an affectionate person when I lived on Earth, but now I take any human contact I can. Holding his hand makes me feel grounded, his palm pressed against mine reminding me that I can still be loved by humans.
“I am sorry that humanity failed you so, Grace,” he says, but I wave him off.
“I don’t need your apology. You aren’t even a human. Besides, I’m happy here. I miss humans sometimes, sure, but I’m really happy here.”
He laughs softly, tilting his head back and looking up at the sky, keeping a hold of my hand. I don’t mind though. I love the way his hand encompasses mine. It’s warm and so full of love and compassion. I never want him to let go.
“You humans… You’re so amazing, but you’re so fragile, you are. So delicate.” He sniffs, lifting his other hand to wipe the tears away from his eyes.
I snort. “Don’t let Rocky or Adrian hear you say that. They’re upset enough as it is that I’m growing old.”
The Doctor smiles slightly, and he leans against me, squeezing my hand again.
“You’re so brilliant and beautiful, but oh so fragile…” He falls silent but I can see his eyes darting about, his mind running away from him. I don’t speak. Instead, I lean into him, offering my silent support as he tries to find the words he needs to say whatever it is he wants to tell me.
“Donna was such a fantastic woman,” he starts. “She was everything I needed in a companion. She was funny and clever and loving and kind… I mean she was perfect. Almost too perfect. She was so… She was always looking out for me.”
“She was very lovely,” I comment, remembering how kind she had been to me when she was here.
“Oh, she was the best.” The Doctor looks at me and I see the pain in his eyes. “The other day, we were fighting the Daleks, some other aliens. They’d taken over Britain. It wasn’t pretty. I’d told her to stay in the TARDIS to keep her safe because the last thing I want to do is harm anyone, especially someone so close to me. We were all together again. All my friends… There was me, Jack, Sarah Jane, even Rose, Micky and Jackie had come back. Though that was a massive problem. There was a rip between the universes, but that’s a story for another day.”
He pauses, looking away from me at the trees ahead of us. I don’t really know what to say.
“We weren’t doing great. The Daleks were so strong. They knew what they were doing, and humans are powerless in the face of the Daleks. That’s why I told Donna to hide. To have her death on my hands… well, I’d never forgive myself.
“But Donna, smart, wonderful, incredible Donna… she was never going to let me leave her in the TARDIS. She had spent far too much time with me. She needed to help. I had an old hand of mine in a box in the TARDIS, and I’d directed my regeneration energy into it, because I’m too attached to this face to let it go just yet. Well, Donna touched that hand, and she absorbed the energy, basically becoming part Time Lord. She was the Doctor Donna. It was incredible.”
I don’t really understand half of what he’s saying, all this with an old hand, regeneration and being too attached to a face to say goodbye, but I don’t interrupt. He’s got too much to say, and he listened to me earlier, so now I’m going to repay him the same courtesy.
“She helped us defeat them. I’ve no idea what we would’ve done without her, to be honest. Oh, she was a brilliant woman. Absolutely brilliant. We dropped everyone off back where they were supposed to be, then it was just me and her again. Like it had been for so long. And she was so excited. The human part of her thought we could travel together, a Time Lord and a part Time Lord. We’d be unstoppable… but the Time Lord part of her knew that wasn’t possible.”
He pauses and I can see here that he’ll need some help to continue. Sometimes, I had a student like this back on Earth. They’d come to me, someone they trusted, and try to tell me what was going on, but they’d get stuck and need prompting because they were too upset.
“Why wasn’t it possible?” I ask softly, and he takes in a shaky breath.
“Because she’s human,” he forces out. “She can’t cope with being part Time Lord. It would’ve killed her. I had to wipe her memory, Grace. Everything to do with me, all our adventures together, all that time we spent exploring… I had to get rid of it all. Because if she ever remembers me, her brain will burn up and she will die. And I couldn’t let that happen. So- so I wiped her memory. And now she has no idea who I am, or what we did together.”
“Oh, Doctor…”
“And that’s a good thing, because it means she won’t die,” he hurries to say, tears making tracks down his face, voice shaky, full of emotion, “but she doesn’t recognise me. She doesn’t know me. She was my best friend, and she has no idea who I am.”
I twist in my seat and bring my other arm around the Doctor’s shoulders, pulling him against me. He moves willingly, pressing his head into the crook of my neck as he tries to control his sobs. I hold him while he cries against me, stroking my thumb over the back of his hand, letting him take whatever he needs from me in his moment of need.
I stare at the trees, tears in my own eyes as I mull over his story. Having to wipe the memory of your best friends is, I think, the worst thing in the entire world. I don’t know how I’d cope if Rocky forgot all about me, so how the Doctor is managing I have absolutely no idea.
Well, I have some idea, given that he is currently sobbing in my arms. I imagine I’d be in the exact same position if I ever lost Rocky like that. But I quickly push those thoughts away, focusing on the man in my arms. I tighten my grip on him by just a fraction, starting to quietly hum a song that lurks in the depths of my memory. I think it’s a Beatles song, but I can’t quite remember. I just know the melody, and that it’s a song that used to make me happy, and all I want to do is help the Doctor feel a bit better in any way I can.
A branch snaps somewhere ahead of us, and I blink, clearing my eyes of tears to see Rocky and Adrian standing together, watching me and the Doctor. I quickly shake my head at them, silently asking them to give us a minute. I don’t want to overload the Doctor while he’s like this. Especially when these two are my best friends. The last thing I want to do is rub salt in the wound.
The two Eridians sing softly, before turning and scuttling back the way they came, no doubt going to wait at my house for the two of us to be done in the forest. Whether the Doctor notices them or not, I have no idea, but he hasn’t removed his head from my neck, though he’s stopped shaking so badly. I can feel him breathing heavily, his breath tickling my skin, and he squeezes my hand tightly three times.
It takes him a while, but eventually he does lift his head, and I let my arm drop from his shoulders, though he doesn’t let me let go of his hand. Not that I want to let go. If I could keep his hand in mine forever, I would. He smiles at me, his eyes shining, and I smile back at him.
“I am so sorry you had to do that,” I murmur. “That can’t have been an easy decision.”
“Hardest decision of my life so far,” he admits, “and that’s saying something, because I’m 906 years old.
Because of course he is. What was it Donna had called him? A space alien and a time traveller. Time Lord. It’s all in the name.
“But you saved her,” I say. “You gave her her life back. You let her live.”
“I know. And I know there will be others. I’ll find another person who will want to come and explore with me. But it never gets any easier, saying goodbye to the person who’s kept me company for so long.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I’ve had so many companions over the course of my life, each of them unique and as special as the last. I don’t know why I do it to myself, Grace. It’s so hard to say goodbye.”
“You get lonely,” I state gently. “906? That’s a lot of years to live. And if you’re rattling around in that box of yours all on your own, well, that won’t be good for you. You’re lonely. That’s why you do it.”
The Doctor gives me a wan smile. “Are you speaking from experience?” He asks wryly, and I roll my eyes good naturedly.
“So what if I am? I’ve told you how lonely I get. You saw it for yourself when you first appeared here.” I press my shoulder against his again, desperate to offer any kind of comfort to him that I can. “Loneliness is a different kind of monster. We need others to thrive. Company, touch, love. You can’t survive without that. That’s why you do it.”
The Doctor sighs heavily, but he’s nodding along to what I’m saying. “Yeah,” is all he says, but that’s all he needs to say, as he slumps against me, his head resting against mine.
“Come on. Let’s go inside. Armando makes a mean cup of tea.”
He makes a vague noise of agreement, and he lets me push him to his feet. Our hands break apart but as soon as we’re both upright, he quickly loops his arm through mine, holding onto me as we walk back through the forest and towards my house.
As predicted, Rocky and Adrian are sitting outside my front door, talking quietly between themselves. Rocky looks up when we approach and he sings a note of joy.
‘Grace Doctor here!’ He chirps happily. ‘Doctor bring great joy to Grace and Erid. Happy happy happy.’
The Doctor just about cracks a smile for Rocky, leaning down to place a hand atop his xenonite suite. “Thanks, Rocky. And hello both of you.”
‘Hello Grace and Doctor,’ Adrian hums, reaching up to open the door for us. I thank them, leading the Doctor into the kitchen, Rocky and Adrian close by. I guide the Doctor into a chair at the table while Rocky and Adrian immediately clamber up onto their armchair in the corner. I must remember to move it closer to the table one day. I’ll get Rocky to help me.
Armando doesn’t even need to be asked before he’s boiling the kettle, getting two cups of tea ready for me and the Doctor. I settle into a chair next to the Doctor so I can see him and my Eridian friends.
‘Other human not here, question?’ Rocky asks, clicking his claws together quietly. ‘Doctor here alone.’
The Doctor nods, looking down at the table. I reach over and take his hand while looking at Rocky.
“Donna doesn’t travel with the Doctor anymore,” I explain gently. “Something bad happened, so she has to stay on Earth.”
Adrian and Rocky sing sadly.
‘Bad bad bad. Donna was good,’ Adrian says, and I see the Doctor’s lips twitch into a small smile. ‘Donna good human. Apology. Wish Donna here.’
“So do I,” the Doctor admits, and I squeeze his hand. “But she can’t anymore. So I came to visit Grace alone.”
‘Alone bad bad bad,’ Rocky scolds. ‘Can’t be alone. Must be with others.’
The Doctor makes an amused sound. “I know, that’s why I came to see Grace. So that I wasn’t alone.”
I sit back when Armando places two steaming mugs of tea on the table, wrapping my hands around my mug to warm them. The Doctor mirrors my position, lifting his head to look at Adrian and Rocky.
‘Grace good company, statement,’ Rocky says happily. ‘Grace best human company. Grace make Doctor less alone. Doctor make Grace less alone.’
I smile at Rocky, nodding my head. “Yeah, I guess we do make each other less alone. Less lonely, even.”
“What a pair we make, eh?” The Doctor says. “Lonely old men, both far, far away from home with no-one else from our species to keep us company.”
“Well. I guess we’ll have to keep each other company then,” I say slowly, and the Doctor laughs.
“I wouldn’t mind that now.” He grins at me, though I can tell he doesn’t really believe me. I bet he thinks he has to whizz off to different planets, leaving me here while he goes exploring on his own. “I’ll enjoy your company while I can.”
That basically confirms my theory. He’s only here for a pit stop while he grieves the loss of Donna. While I am absolutely heartbroken for him, I can see my opportunity, and I know I have to seize it with both hands and not let go without a fight.
“Doctor.” I reach across the table, placing my hand atop his. “I mean that, you know. Stay for a while. Let me be your companion here on Erid.”
Rocky and Adrian both hum in agreement, clicking their claws happily.
‘Doctor stay. Make Grace happy,’ Rocky says.
‘Doctor need rest. Doctor rest on Erid. Doctor and Grace make each other less alone. Grace, Rocky and Adrian look after Doctor,’ Adrian states.
The Doctor looks around at us, a bewildered expression on his face as if he’s baffled that we actually want him to stay.
“Please.”
“You really want me to stay?” He asks, voice wobbling, and I squeeze his hand again.
“I absolutely do. You need rest and a companion. You just said you want to enjoy my company for a while. Stay with me for a bit. Let us take care of you.”
He hides his face in his free hand, holding mine tightly as his chest heaves with the effort of stopping himself from crying.
“Doctor,” I murmur, shuffling my chair closer to his so our knees are touching, “you’re a lonely Time Lord travelling the stars. I’m a lonely human stuck on alien soil. We can keep each other company for a bit. Stay here, rest, let us take care of you.”
“Are you sure?” The Doctor chokes out, lifting his head when Rocky makes a disgruntled noise.
‘Always sure. Stupid Doctor. Not believe Grace. Doctor stupid, so Doctor need rest. Doctor rest on Erid with Grace and Rocky and Adrian, statement.’
“Don’t call him stupid, Rocky,” I admonish gently. “He’s tired.”
‘Exactly. Need rest. Rest on Erid.’
I roll my eyes fondly at my best friend, before looking back at the Doctor when he squeezes my hand.
“I am so tired,” he says slowly, wiping the tears from his face.
‘Doctor rest here. Adrian make new room for Doctor in Grace house, statement.’ Adrian clicks their claws together, already thinking about designing a whole new room in the house.
“Stay with me. With us. Please?”
The Doctor sighs deeply, as if a weight is being lifted off his chest and he turns a soft smile on me.
“Yeah, alright then. I’ll stay.”