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David's first 4th of July with his brothers, Marko, Paul, and Dwayne, and of course they had to buy fireworks. David hadn't told them about his PTSD from WWI, how loud noises trigger panic attacks, how he like to be able to see every exit, how he can't ever forget what happened no matter how much time has past. Yet he still says nothing as they head to a spot on the beach where cops don't check and no one hangs out at.
The first one, it's not bad just a simple sparkler, not loud just a bit bright. "Maybe this is all the bought" David thinks, hoping the boys didn't buy those stupid pop-its that sounds like gunshots to him or anything like that.
For a second David is having fun, the sparklers aren't loud and the boys laughter as they wave them around makes David smile. David watches as Paul pulls out a tiny box, no bigger than his palm. Shit, they bought them. Dwayne is the first to flick on the stupid gunpowder filled paper things onto a rock and it pops, and David can't help but flinch, trying desperately not to panic around the boys.
"Fireworks huh? How sad"
"Huh?" David whips his head around at the voice... nothing.
"Really thought you'd be better at that, David"
"What the fuck...?"
"Don't act like you don't know what this is"
David knows exactly what this is...his own self conscious fucking with him, audio hallucinations. He tries to ignore them but as each pop goes the voice gets louder.
"You wanna know why you can't remember what started the noise fear, which moment made it so bad, huh?"
"Leave me alone..." David mutters to himself as the boys fuck around.
"Awe, you do! I wonder why-- Oh teacher teacher, pick me! Because I remember! I remember quite well actually."
"Shut up..." David says through his teeth. Each pop making the voice louder.
"Suck in a wet muddy trench with more boys, some younger than you, with gunfire and explosives in the distance--"
The flashbacks start small quick moments at first but as the pops continue they start to sound like gunfire. David puts his hands over his ears to try and block out the sounds of fear and terror that play in his head.
"A simple grenade thrown not to far from you, close enough to see and hear but too far for any big damage for you. Your friends on the other hand...the way they scrambled as it landed, blown to pieces as the dark crimson liquid stained their clothes and the walls of the trench, blending with the mud and dirt"
"...no..." David is trying his damnest to stop this but he can't stop the flashbacks. The screams of his fallen brothers in arms, the sound of it hitting the ground, the sight of dismembered people, blown to pieces by the bomb, plague his mind and vision.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and jumps so hard he almost falls off the log he was sitting on, tears rolling down his face and sweat beading on his forehead. Hand trembling like an autumn leaf blowing in the cool California breeze, breathing like he just ran a marathon as he stares up at Marko, Paul, and Dwayne.
"Are you okay, boss man?" Dwayne asks.
"Fine" David croaks, that was a terrible lie.
"Why don't we pack it up for tonight, yeah? Head back home, play some poker?" Paul suggests
"Yeah, sounds fun" Marko says, hand still on David's shoulder.
"... alright...yeah... that's fine" David says, the trembling dying down slightly as he knows that his brothers care enough to stop having their fun to help him...to notice him.