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Plummeting down into what felt like a warm ocean was not how Ahn’zem Hyacinth assumed the lifestream would feel upon entering it as a spirit. While he had been there not even a full fortnight before, they hadn’t tumbled into the stream itself, able to walk across the path their companions had set out before them.
But now, it felt soothing… tepid and as though he would be able to rest peacefully while he waited for G’raha to one day join him. Floating on the soft currents that would one day usher him into a new life.
I don’t want to reincarnate without him, though… Ahn’zem thought. Selfish as that is after letting go so easily.
With a small sigh, he looked at the myriad of sparkling aether around him, the hues of blue and aqua making him feel as though he was in his mother’s embrace.
What I would give to see Venat again. He lamented. Venat- under the guise of Hydaelyn had been ever a companion in his life. From the gentle words she whispered in his dreams as a child, to seeing her in person in Elpis… their bond would run deeper than anything he ever knew.
And to know that she was probably already in the deepest parts of the lifestream filled his heart with grief.
Maybe one day… I can float down until I can be in your arms once more… Mother…
I miss you.
“Oh, what do we have here?” A melodious voice pulled Ahn from his dark reverie. It continued, getting louder as he floated at the behest of the stream. “Too tired to collect stars after a battle like that? I guess I can’t really blame you.”
Looking up, Ahn’zem’s eyes caught a flash of purple, before Hythlodaeus appeared by his side. Quickly followed with a rather pouty-looking Hades.
“I can certainly blame him. Letting go so easily after fighting so hard against the Endsinger and that forsaken great-grandson of mine…” With a shake of his head, he pointed at Ahn. “You’re not supposed to be here for a long time yet, Pollux.”
Holding up his hands in defence, Ahn’zem couldn’t help the memories and feelings that washed over him. Fleeting moments of his ancient self with the duo.
I thought I regained all I could, but like Hades had theorised before… you regain what you lost in death…
“Surely you cannot be throwing such barbed words at me, Hades.” Ahn’zem was able to get closer to them, holding out his hands so he could take one of each in his own. “It was inevitable, I’m afraid. I gave that fight against Zenos my all… let Yonah take my portal back so she wouldn’t see me in my final moments…” Taking a moment he tried to regain his composure as he felt it slip at the mention of his sister. “Castor- Yonah- didn’t deserve to see my death after all she’s already had to witness thanks to me.”
Hythlodaeus pulled Ahn’s hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles as if they were made of glass. “I understand that, Asteri Mou… but Hades is right… you shouldn’t be here this early.”
Ahn’zem squeezed their hands. “I…” he tried to clear his throat. “I was tired… thought… maybe if I…”
“Now, if you’re about to say something akin to ‘I thought things would be better if I snuffed out my own light’, then I expect you to stop speaking.” Hades chastised, his tone sharp and admonishing.
The miqo’te found his jaw clacking together on instinct, the feeling making his head fuzzy.
Hythlodaeus gave a small snort in amusement, but pulled Ahn’zem closer to him. “There is no reason to think like that ever, Asteri Mou.”
“You fought tooth and nail for that Star, even defeating me at my worst.” Hades continued. “To throw it all away now, just as you became free of Venat’s duty, it’s-”
“Sad.” Hythlodaeus supplied.
Shaking his head, the former convocation member scoffed. “I was going to say, moronic, but I will let you have ‘Sad’.”
“Latreia Mou…” Hythlodaues sighed at Hades. For once, his all sunny demeanor was gone, and only overwhelming sorrow remained. “This is not the time for such…” His breath hitched and Ahn’zem felt his heart ache. “You shouldn’t be here yet, Ahn’zem, Asteri Mou...”
Feeling his ears lay flat against his head, Ahn’zem felt grief blossoming in his chest. “Omorfi Mou,” The loving name he had once used as Pollux flowed from his lips. Hythlodaeus’s amethyst eyes locked onto him, awash with a poignancy of depression. “Do not shed so many tears for me.”
“P-Pollux…”
With a shrug, Ahn’zem looked at his former love, before he cast his gaze to Hades. “And Chryse Mou… I don’t remember a lot, though I expect my time in the lifestream will show me more.” With another shake of his head, he felt his heart sink. “Is it really so bad… that I have joined you both here?”
Hythlodaeus was the first to react to the heavy statement, grabbing Ahn by both shoulders and pulling him so close that they were almost nose to nose. “I am more than overjoyed to see you, Asteri Mou!” His voice cracked, tears threatening to fall and he pulled Ahn’zem into a crushing hug. “I have missed you all these years… and seeing you as you in Elpis- regaining that memory… it means more than I can even express.”
He then pulled them apart and gently swiped a thumb across Ahn’s lower lip. “But it was not your time… not yet.”
Ahn went to open his mouth to argue, but Hades cut across him first.
“We have both been waiting to reunite with Pollux since the sundering, and while you yet regain memories as your time as him, you still have a legacy to fulfill as your own Azem.”
Hades took his hand once more before touching shoulders with Hythlodaeus. “I told you to go and explore the secrets of this world, not squander the chance I gave you, Ahn’zem.”
Looking down at their interlocked hands, a battle began to stir within Ahn’zem. Without Fray’s running commentary to help him figure out his feelings, it became rather daunting to attempt to put all the pieces together.
Funny he didn’t follow me here… Maybe we were split with the currents now that my soul is no longer technically tethered to him…
Putting his thoughts of Fray aside for later, Ahn’zem tried his best to find the words to say to his companions. “I know what you said, Hades.” He began slow, a raging torrent of sorrow and grief suddenly flooding his chest. “But before we met again in Ultima Thule… I had already made up my mind to return to the Star… Yonah can carry out your legacy as Azem…”
She always was the better Azem of us both… My dearest Castor…
Oh, Yonah… you are going to be so mad at me, aren’t you.
“That was not the deal I made with you, Pollux!” Hades cut across him. “I told you as much after our battle in my crazed recreation of the Final Days… after you so kindly drove a steak of darkness through us both.”
Ahn’zem looked up at him, shocked.
Remember. Hades had said to him before fading away. Remember that we once lived.
Even before telling him of the Bounty’s secrets… or of seeking out the New World… He gave Ahn’zem his legacy… a chance to carry them all with him.
Ever the man to keep his true feelings and thoughts under many layers of hidden context…
Swallowing hard, Ahn was finding it hard to speak around the lump in his throat. “Chryse Mou… Omorfi Mou… I…”
The words failed to come. The doubt started to pepper as dots in his vision and he was worried that if the two let go of his hands, he would be left adrift with no way of navigating his way back to them.
Freyr… Where are you? I need your guidance now more than ever.
Mother… why can’t you be here and help me.
I’m too lost… I thought I knew what I wanted… and now?
“You two,” Another voice joined the fray, and Ahn’zem felt himself stiffen in shock. He didn’t think she would actually appear. But surely it was just a trick of his mind in its panicked state- just trying to fill the void left in Fray’s wake. “My poor Little Azem arrives and within moments you’re already admonishing him.”
Despite his doubts and worries of delusion, Venat came up behind Ahn’zem, her hands resting against his tattered clothes; her touch warm, firm, and grounding.
Hades scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You’d be doing the same thing if you were just idling the days waiting for us all to go onto the next stage together, and the one person you least expected to be here just suddenly drops into your lap!”
Looking between them all, Ahn’zem felt his mind shutting down. Everyone he had missed was with him now… while he still yearned for G’raha, the part of him that was Pollux was torn. It had been far too long since the four of them had a chance to just simply be. To share a moment together like the old times.
Too many things fell apart in the wake of the Final Days…
How I realise now that Venat knew I was going to one day become Ahn’zem… It must’ve weighed on her mind and that’s why she made me flee instead of becoming Hydaelyn with her…
Losing Hythlodaeus to Zodiark and Hades’s overall withdrawal from… everything.
After they went to Elpis to seek out Hermes… things never were the same, were they...
“I’m sorry.” He choked out. “I thought a reunion with us all would be joyous and exciting… but I never thought you’d all be so…discontented to see me.”
Fretting, Hythlodaeus tilted Ahn’zem’s chin up and met his gaze with a watery smile. “Asteri Mou… Discontent and you are two things that never exist in the same sentence.”
“I beg to differ.” Hades said sardonically, though in his citrine gaze, lay a love and care that had existed since time immemorial.
Hythlodaeus gave him a shake of his head with a huff of amusement. “You know he doesn’t mean that, Ahn.” Taking a breath, Hyth's gaze looked at the stream around them. “A reunion has been oh so long in the making… but while Hades, Venat and I have fulfilled our purposes, you still have so much of yours to carry out."
“But…” Ahn’zem looked down once more. “Up there… in life… all I was… all I am.”
A monster that pushed everyone away.
Someone who failed to accept those around me for the longest time.
Just an expendable weapon for others to use since the day I escaped Garlemald with Fray…
“My Little Azem?” Venat’s voice was a soothing balm to the hurricane of thoughts running rampant in his mind. Like she knew he was combating his deepest fears. “Why don’t we go for a little talk together?”
The miqo’te looked between the three of them. Seeking his mother’s council might prove beneficial- and possibly help him explain himself to the other two.
But what if I don’t see them again?
As if he could read his mind, Hades pulled the hand he was still holding and pressed a kiss against each knuckle. “Whatever choice you make, we will wait for you before we even think about reincarnating.” He sighed and looked at Hythlodaeus. “Even if I have to sacrifice a peaceful rest until then.”
Barking out a laugh, Hythlodaeus followed suit in kissing Ahn’s other hand. “He says that like I will be the one keeping him up.” Throwing him a wink, he pretended to whisper to Ahn’zem. “Though we all know he will be watching the steps you take on the edge of his seat.”
Venat chuckled as Hades pulled Hythlodaeus away, the two beginning to bicker as they always did.
“Let’s leave them to their… conversations.” Venat turned to Ahn before offering her hand to him. “We will see them again, alright?”
Throwing one last glance at them, Ahn’zem couldn’t shake the feeling that it would be a long time before he’d bask in their radiant personalities once more. “Alright…”
☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾
After floating away from them for a while, Venat turned to Ahn’zem, a sad smile dancing upon her lips. “Now, my Little Azem, my wonderful Ahn’zem, I may have seen your recent battles play out in full, but I need to ask… why are you here in the aetherial sea?”
Ahn looked up at her, panic briefly seized him, as though he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar… As if he knew already that he technically shouldn’t be there by her side as of this moment. But knowing Venat just seeked to understand, he knew he could be honest.
“It’s hard to know where to begin…” He breathed, trying to gather his thoughts. “I… was tired of fighting… Zenos was always so unrelenting that even after I had used so much energy to fight the Endsinger with Yonah.” Anger bubbled in his chest before he forced himself to swallow it down. “That bastard still couldn’t let go of the idea of fighting me.”
Flashes of the fight played in his head. The way their scythes clashed, how Zenos’s tore through his skin multiple times because Ahn was so exhausted that his movements had become sloppy; cumbersome.
How he had initially disabled his own return remote, knowing Yonah would click her own to save the Scions when it came down to it… and despite hers being lost, when he reactivated his own and pressed it into her palm, she stared at him in shock.
“Ahn, what are you doing?” Yonah had began to scream as Ahn stumbled away. She wasn’t faring well herself, so he knew she wouldn’t give chase.
“You’ll understand in time, Sister… My kind and loving Yonah.” He had responded as he saw the tears roll down her cheeks. “I will be sure to wait for you in the lifestream… with the others…”
Yonah had tried to start moving, but the signal of the beacon snatched her away with a blink.
And he was finally able to let go…
Rest…
She will be fine without me… Everyone is acting like it’s wrong of me to come here… but in the end, it’s better for everyone. Isn’t it?
He stopped himself before explaining the deeper reasoning to his final decision to leave the land of the living, of not joining Yonah using the beacon with her.
“Ahn’zem?”
Venat’s voice felt far away. Despite being dead, Ahn’zem felt as though it was becoming hard to breathe, the weight of death… the choices he had made. It suddenly felt like too much. Like he was a little child in Garlemald all over again, pleading to Hydaelyn to sing to him when he was a scared child in the basement of the underground facility.
Singing…
His mother and former mentor pulled him into a tight hug, her presence blocking out the intense memories that threatened to swallow him whole.
“Can you sing to me, please?” Ahn’zem begged softly, his voice muffled by her white robes. Within her warm embrace, he really did feel like a young kit once more; the last time he felt as though he could be this vulnerable was a time he failed to recall. “The one you would sing to me when you’d visit me in my dreams.”
For a moment, he looked up at her and saw Venat looking at him, her poor broken child. Ahn could feel her gaze soften, the pain and emotion so plain on her face as a shaky gasp left her lips. “Oh, my dearest Ahn… my kind Pollux… my Little Azem.” Her grip around him tightened, and with one hand, she began to cradle his head, gently stroking the base of his ear with her thumb. “Of course… you’ve had to do much and more for me when I wish only for you to feel joy and happiness…”
Ahn’zem felt his throat grow tight, nuzzling into her more to hide the tears that started to fall.
This was all I ever wanted.
My mother’s kind embrace…
Clearing her throat, Venat tilted them so they were set adrift in a softer current of the lifestream, aether sparkling around them like shimmering galaxies.
“Well come and well met, my brave little spark.” She squeezed Ahn’zem tighter as his shoulders started to shake. “How long you've wandered, burned bright as a star-”
He let his eyes slip closed as his breaths grew even. Venat had used her powers to sing to him when he was but a wounded, husk of a kit in Garlemald. When the world was too much to bear, after he had been subject to needles, surgery, and pain beyond comprehension. Her voice was a soft balm… a lullaby that dried his tears and gave him promise that one day- things would get better.
“Oh, I have awaited you patiently all this time,”
That maybe one day, he would be held in her embrace and know what it truly felt like to be loved and appreciated by his mother unconditionally.
“Past every fate. Now sing with me once more, share of your life.”
Ahn’zem felt his life flashing past his eyes. Joining the Scions… saving the First… laughing with G’raha and their marriage shortly after they all returned to the Source. While he knew the darker parts lingered like a beast in the shadows, ready to bite him in the jugular when he let his guard down… in Venat’s gentle grasp, all he could see was the most joyous parts he always wished to tell her about. Even if she saw all when she was Hydaelyn, the flicker of childish wonder that he could speak ad nauseam about his partner and the lifetimes they shared…
I miss him… knowing I won’t ever see him again in life hurts.
“Far greater than memory, its loss and love words cannot hold
Boundless, the tale overflows
And carries your light out to sea…”
Peeking through closed eyes, he saw the world around them bathed in crystals and light, her robes and hair almost like wings as they caged him from the suffering he had always felt. Keeping him tethered to her, lest he actually become adrift in the stream all alone.
Her voice had a slight tremble to it as she continued to sing. “Remember the rain, near and far beloved.” When Ahn chanced a glance at her, he saw Venat looking at him with tears rolling down her own cheeks. Her hand came up to his cheek and brushed away his own tears. “Each drop a blessing from heavens above. And how as time flowed on those waters became one.”
I wish things had been different, Mother. Ahn’s eyes silently spoke to her. That we never had to bear the burdens of this world… that we could simply live our lives with Castor and adventure to worlds and sights unseen… as true Azems.
“Streams, rivers and lakes. Reaching for the horizon and far beyond.” Her crystal blue eyes teemed with an overflowing emotion that the miqo’te could not pinpoint. She then pulled Ahn’s head gently to hers until their foreheads touched- and Ahn’zem felt guilty as a sob tore through him. He didn’t mean to interrupt her. But in that moment, he felt her echo the same sentiment.
Though he was not sure how long he had been in the lifestream, he found more of his memories as Pollux were being restored to him… of the life that he, Venat, and Castor had before the Sundering… of the time spent learning on Elips, or enjoying the summers in Amaurot.
All torn away because of Hermes.
All sundered because it was the only way to one day reach Meteion and save her from her Song of Oblivion…
“They carry onward however changed with each brief reflection, by setting sun
By storm's wake
Til welcomed home to gentle sea”
Venat’s song rang deep. Despite how many reflections of himself had failed or sunk back into the stream itself… He never fully gave in or gave up. Until now, he had always fought to bring her dream to fruition… a dream he shared a passion for.
For the world to know love and light… and its beauty to shine forever more until all was welcomed back to the lifestream.
“Sinking deeper and deeper in calm embrace. Loving tides sweep in and bear you down.”
Their lullaby continued, and Ahn’zem found himself wondering what the Scions and his sister would be doing right now.
I do hope they’re not crying for me… My letters… they explained everything. They can be happy now- unburdened of my misery and dour personality.
“Should you meet a soul rising surface-ways
With your unbeating heart, wish them well.”
He tried to reason with himself that he would be happier now. To let his story end here and spend it with Venat in the life stream until G’raha joined them… then he would learn of the life he had decided to lead following on from Ultima Thule, and once all was shared in a gentle reunion… they could be reborn together.
I also promised Fray I would find a way to have our bond once more… But his presence… it feels as though it’s still missing from my soul.
Where are you Fray?
“Deep, dark, far away, I have heard your voice, weighed your every choice.” Venat pulled him ever closer, Ahn’s head now resting against her collarbone as she started to shake. Their resolves were crumbling as they shared a moment they were never meant to have as they both currently existed.
A happiness they had both long denied since the first night she had sung this song to him as Hydaelyn…
A harsh truth that they could never know the joys of a mother singing to her child to chase the darkness away.
But in this moment, we can… because it’s over now. The fight… is done, Mother.
“Now our hands join round the meaning you sought.” Her breaths grew more constant, voice warbolling as she sniffed. Ahn himself was not in a better state; his cries now falling from his lips as his hands gripped onto the back of her robes, the front becoming wet with his tears as they hit her mask. “I'll catch your tears, quench your fears with joy till you near the shore.”
I… I don’t want this to end… I want to stay… I want to stay.
I want to stay alive.
I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to die, Mother.
The realisation that he didn’t want his life to end here hit him so hard that it made the miqo’te breathless. For so long… he had always wanted his life to end when he knew the world had been saved. He was no longer needed as a weapon for others to use.
Being a grumpy and self-sacrificing jerk had made his relationships strain towards the end. He didn’t know if everyone would even want him back.
I have been so selfish in my wish to just stop existing… how can I look them in the eye now?
But I don’t want to end this here… I want to continue my journey… the legacy Hades left me.
Right now, I am squandering it… selfishly tossing it aside… all because I thought no one would need me anymore.
“Where in time, all shall as hope be reborn, ah.”
His soul ached, and his weeping grew to choked keens. Ahn’zem had assumed that with the fight at the end of the Universe, there was no way his body could be restored. Every part of him had been broken and ripped. Even if he was desperate to fight… to live… his body was barely complying.
There’s probably no way… I… I spent my flame fighting Zenos…
I gave in and begged Fray to let me sleep.
I gave up.
Within his mother’s embrace, he continued to grieve, the weight of his actions, of the world he was ever made to bear, crushing him and scaring him to no avail. Distantly, he wondered if Venat had planned to make him see that he really wasn’t ready to let go yet. That in her song and gentle touch, he would realise that his duty as Azem was not yet done.
Not in a bad way… as Azem… I can continue to explore… journey and see everything now, I am not bound by my duty as a Warrior of Light.
Ahn’zem, the Azem… Gods, I really should have asked Mother how to spell it as a child. Azem would’ve been far cooler… How embarrassing.
As if hearing all his spiralling thoughts, Venat slowed their drifting and held his cheeks in both hands, making sure their eyes locked gazes. Her’s replete with warmth and love, unconditional. “Hush, love, close your eyes, and in sleep abide.”
Her body held an ethereal glow to it, truly beautiful and worthy to be the being that was Hydaelyn… of the Mother who loved all and expected naught in return.
“As sun's distant light, echoes down to dreams below
Know you will wake, on winds rise again
For this journey's end is but one step forward to tomorrow.”
She’s right… my journey’s end is not yet come…
But I can’t…
As she finished her final note, Venat pressed a soft kiss to Ahn’zem’s temple, once again brushing away his tears as he tried to calm down.
“I’m sorry.” Was all he managed to choke out.
Venat smiled softly, pulling him close to her once more. “Oh, my Little Azem. Your heart bleeds, yet you cut it off from all who wish to assist you…” She rocked him back and forth, continuing her conversation with him. “Now, why are you sorry?
Ahn tried to find his voice, hiding his face completely as he let down his walls. “I… I thought I wanted to die. I’m sorry for all the pain and hurt I put you and everyone else through… All these years I failed you and Hyth and Hades…” His sobs grew louder. “I thought if I died then no one else would worry… but now I want to go back and live… live like Azem- like Pollux would have wanted to.”
Ahn’zem knew Pollux had always dreamed of exploring the world properly. Despite his socially withdrawn persona, whenever he was specifically asked to explore as part of his duties, he was more than ecstatic. Often bringing along his sister, Freyr, Hades or Hythlodaeus. However, due to his weak constitution, the former ancient had found that in quiet moments he felt as though he was hardly doing his duties as Azem to their fullest potential…
I just want to live… for him… for me.
I was too caught up in a lie I believed for so many years.
“I thought that if I died in Ultima Thule… it would make everything better. If I died, Yonah could go on without me… learn to not feel burdened by having to carry me along with her duties as Warrior of Light. I assumed life would be better for everyone I love if I ceased to exist in it… but now…”
He let out a wail of despair. “I-I want to go back, but I can’t. Zenos really did kill me. I’m selfish for crying when you are showing me love and kindness….”
She sings her song for me… and like a spoiled brat, I wish to be elsewhere…
Her song… made me realise I want to be alive…
Venat shook her head and squeezed Ahn before holding his face once more. “My Little Azem… you are not selfish.” She took a sharp breath to steady herself. “Through the last leg of your journey, you have known despair and pain unimaginable. You saw coming here as a way to escape all of that… It is not selfish to want a break from such harsh moments.”
Playing with his hair a little, she continued. “Never call yourself selfish again. To know you want to live is a joy I cannot contain. While I was ready to guide you onwards in the stream…” Venat paused for a moment, her eyes closing as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “To know that you wish to yet live… To know you can now continue your life unbound to my will… It fills me with pride and joy.”
“B-But…” Ahn’zem went to argue, his breath catching as he searched Venat’s eyes for anger or malice. But her crystal eyes were teeming with love and fondness.
“All I have ever wanted for you is for you to live and explore our Star. To witness you suffer as a child… I wish I could’ve made things easier for you…” Another tear slipped down her cheek and she opened her eyes. “I fear that due to my powers waning, I could not help you in the ways I wished… only able to offer words and memories to guide you and comfort you.” Gently, she pressed an additional kiss to his temple. “But now, I can help you go back, finally help you not as Hydaelyn… but as your Mother… as Venat.”
Ahn’zem bawled once more, his heart feeling so full that he couldn't contain the love he held for Venat. “I d-don’t want to lose you too, Mother… I lost you twice already.”
Venat took a deep breath, her smile warm and bright. “I will be with you always, Ahn’zem.” She pressed some crystals into his hand. “Use these to craft weapons or jewelry that you may always have me with you. To protect you and keep you safe, for now and forever.”
Ahn’zem looked at them, sparkling, beautiful blue… just like her eyes. He knew G’raha was particularly skilled- making his own weapon out of crystal from the Tower- so maybe… once they’d talked about his whole dying ordeal… then maybe he would be willing to help him craft a few for their next journey.
“Are you sure?” He asked, voice small.
“Of course, my Little Azem.” She stroked his hair again before letting out a soft sigh. “We need to get you back… I can hear them calling for you. It seems as though they are desperate for you to return to their sides.”
Ahn strained his ears trying to see if he could hear as she did.
After a few moments…
He did…
“Can you hear… Say…”
Was that Estinien?
His heart skipped a beat in his chest, he looked up and saw that it was almost as if they had reached a ceiling of water, the ripples cast a soothing glimmer against the duo as light seemed to grow brighter around them.
“...must tend to…” Urianger’s voice filtered through next. It sounded as if they were rushing about… Were they still aboard the Ragnarok?
Little One… I knew you wouldn’t stay down for long.
Fray!
Ahn’zem found himself looking around him, though he was still in Venat’s arms, it was almost as if he had a tether on his body now. As though he was in two places at once.
Venat smiled brightly. “Hear how hard they have been fighting to bring you back, my Little Azem.” She ran a hand through his hair and her grin grew. “Though you have felt as though you were all alone during those Final Days, know they have not rested thanks to that brilliant Concept Pollux deemed fit to make.”
Laughing, she held one of her own hands up. “Oh Freyr, you perfect creation. Thank you for remembering our promise to keep him alive for as long as you could.”
Ahn’zem looked at her in shock. “Fray keept me alive? B-But he assured me we would come here together…”
Venat asked long before you did, that if anything were to ever happen to Pollux… to you, that I would keep your vessel alive until there was a way to bring you back.
The miqo’te opened his mouth to voice his shock, but then G’raha’s voice cut through the lifestream, strong but wrought with grief.
“Open your… …please!”
Tears began to burn his eyes again. And he turned to Venat. “Alright, alright, you both win. P-Please, you have to help me get back. I can’t… to hear him like that.”
His grief is too much to bear…
Venat brushed a knuckle against his cheek and nodded. “I know, you love that man more than you can express to me in words, but I can feel the bond you share even now. You will always be together, even if the world tries to tear you apart.” She then gave him a small wink. “Much like the bond we share. Always there, even though we may be separated by life and death.”
Nodding, Ahn pulled her into a tight hug. “Venat… Mother… How can I ever repay you? To employ Fray from so long ago… To help me realize I wanted to continue living and give me yet another chance to do so…”
It’s too much for a ruined soul like mine…
Hush. Little One, or I may tell Venat what you just thought.
As if she could sense the comment from Fray, Venat laughed and looked up at the sky. “You should stop thinking like that, my Little Azem. You deserve everything you are gifted- especially by me. Again, deep down… I hoped you’d want to live, but if you really hadn’t wanted to… I would never force your hand.” Her gaze turned sad, but she quickly schooled it before looking away entirely. “Full glad am I, that the desire to see the world and more have left you yearning for life anew. Now you can come back to me in the future- when it is rightfully your time to rejoin us all and regale us with all you did while we took a nice long rest.”
Ahn’zem nodded. “I promise I will bring you as many stories as I can. And I will begin with doing everything Hades suggested we do.” Despite his own tears, a soft smile tugged at his lips. “So you better watch out, I will bring so many tales, that you will all grow sick of me.”
“I don’t think such a notion as that will ever come to pass, my Little Azem.” Venat looked back down at him and let out a soft sigh. “I am distracting you… you must keep listening for the voices that call you back to life.”
I will… I just… I will miss you. Ahn’zem thought internally.
Y’shtola’s voice was the next to cut through the tranquil world around them. “Someone… hand…”
“Please…” Alphinaud’s came next. And all seemed to grow ever brighter as Ahn realized his soul was beginning to turn against the tide, and back to life.
He held onto Venat’s hand as his body began to rise. “Mother!” His breath caught in his throat, his entire being shaking with a dizzying mixture of joy and grief. “T-Thank you… for always being my Mother… for guiding me… for protecting me. For being both a mentor and more…”
Gasping, Venat gave his cheek one last caress before she let go of him. “Fly true, Ahn’zem Hyacinth… You have ever made me proud, and full-glad am I to have you as my son.” Her tears started to trickle down her cheeks in sparkling droves. “I do not weep for loosing you. I weep with joy to know your flame will ever burn bright.”
Nodding, he kept his hand outstretched to her. “Tell Hades and Hyth I will see them again too. I remembered more about my life as Pollux as you sang to me, of our time in Amaurot together. But don’t reveal all the details to them yet.” He gave a small chuckle. “Let them stew in it for a while… especially Hades.”
Barking a laugh, she nodded. “You know I will.”
Alisaie’s sobbing struck him through the heart, his soul now drifting upwards faster, and gaining speed. “You can’t leave us… Not like this…”
Don’t fear… I’ll be back soon, I promise!
“If you do, I’ll never forgive you… So, come on! Open your eyes and get up!”
Aye, aye, Alisaie! Ahn found himself being overwhelmed with radiant joy. He turned his body fully so he could reach his hand out to the light above him. Just a little further…
I will never leave you all again.
I will live, and continue to do so even when things are dark and dour.
As Pollux, as Azem… as Ahn’zem, I will follow in the footsteps of my mother, and keep the world in peace, and explore every corner I can.
Just wait for me a little longer.
I promise!
The light around him grew blinding, making himself shield his eyes with one arm, while his face scrunched up as it felt as though his body was being forcibly pushed through a forcefield.
Little One!
Fray’s voidsent arm appeared, as Ahn squinted through the light. Take my hand, and let us continue this farce together!
With a mirthful grin, Ahn’zem latched on without further hesitation.
Thank you, Mother.
Thank you, Hades.
Thank you, Hythlodaeus.
Thank you, Freyr.
I now know… I never wanted to die. I always wanted to live, I was just afraid to…
But now… now I will open my eyes and live to the fullest!
One final flash surrounded him and Ahn found his eyesight flickering.
A blink…
And another.
And despite the way that the world around him was swirling in and out in different shapes and colours.
Ahn’zem Hyacinth could be certain of one thing.
He was alive.