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Neptune found Earth sulking in the asteroid belt. He wouldn’t necessarily call it sulking, but Uranus would, so he went with sulking.
It felt a little wrong for Earth to be there. Sure, Sun had become more lax about everyone being in their orbits, but the largest rocky planet tended to stay in the Goldilocks Zone unless something dramatic was happening. Which was often, to be fair, but nothing had happened lately as far as Neptune was aware.
But something must’ve happened, he corrected himself, because Earth was not in his orbit. And looked sad.
The ice giant knew he had an unfortunate habit of sneaking up on distracted celestials, so he decided to announce himself early. "Hi, Terra!"
Earth's head whipped back, but paused when he saw who it was. Neptune hoped it was a good pause. “Oh. It's you. Hi, Neptune.”
“Hello!” Neptune echoed and stood by him, looking around. “This isn’t your orbit.”
“I’m aware.”
The ice giant fiddled with his scarf. He had been trying to lighten the mood, but the bite in the words made him wilt. Am I making it worse?
Earth loudly exhaled and looked up. Frost was lightly dusting his cheeks and hair. "Sorry, sorry. I'm not mad at you."
“Buuut you’re mad at someone?” Neptune guessed. “Oh, are you hiding? is that why you’re here?”
Earth curled up tighter into a ball, nodding slowly.
“Oh yay. I love a hiding place. You chose a good one!” Neptune reached over to brush away an asteroid that he thought was a little too close for comfort. Earth didn’t seem to notice. “Very scenic!”
The rocky planet didn’t respond. Hm.
Neptune sat next to him and tapped his knees. Maybe he should leave… but it seemed rather rude to leave someone who was so obviously upset. Earth hadn't exactly told him to leave yet, so-
A few more space rocks migrated towards them. Neptune crushed them with his gravity and flicked the debris away. He should probably stay anyway, at least to be an asteroid shield. That's usually his moon's job. Where is he? Moon Club isn’t on. My moons just got back to our orbit.
Earth suddenly groaned, and hit his head against his knees.“Urgh. This is so stupid.”
"What is?" Neptune didn’t think anything that made someone this upset was stupid.
The living planet curled up into a ball and mumbled something into his arms. White tendrils of frost and ice were snaking their way up his arms. That probably wasn’t good.
“Do you maybe want to talk about it in your orbit?”
“Nope. I live here now.”
That didn’t sound very safe for the Earthlings, but what did Neptune know about Life? More than he did a year ago, probably, but he still wasn’t an expert on it. “Okay then. Do you want to talk about it here?”
Earth seemed to consider it at least, lifting his head out of his self-made ball.“I don’t want to just… hrmmm.” He dragged a hand over his face. “It’s really not your problem, Neptune. I shouldn’t dump it on you.”
“It’s not ‘dumping’ anything. Besides, you know me, I’ll probably forget soon, anyway. I’m Neptune, after all.”
Earth’s face fell. “That’s not— I—“ Oh, was that the wrong thing to say? Oops.
“If you tell me, I’ll teach you how to do partial differential equations." Neptune barrelled on, trying to stay focused. "That way, it's even!"
For the past while, they’d done this thing where the two blue planets would just talk at each other about whatever came to mind. Mostly math, and silly Earthlings, usually over board games that Earth had manifested for them to try out. Neptune really enjoyed their little talks. It was nice to have a captive audience, and Earth would even ask questions (even if he admitted he wouldn't understand the answers).
“What— oh, ohh.” He thought bout it for a moment, before shaking his head hesitantly. “This is kind of different from infodumping, Neptune.”
“I don’t see the problem in that.” Neptune tapped his fingers together in his lap. “My moons feel better when they talk about stuff, but if you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay too.”
"It's really dumb." He warned.
"I don't mind."
Neptune waited, glancing over. Earth stayed as quiet and as as the asteroids around him.
He doesn't want to talk, then. Neptune was beginning to run out of ideas on how he could be helpful. He drummed his knees to try and keep his mind occupied in the silence. Maybe he could—
“Everyone thinks Mars and I are dating.”
The words had come so fast that the ice giant had almost missed them. He blankly blinked at Earth.
“See? It’s stupid! I know it’s stupid! I’m making a big deal over nothing.” Earth ran a hand through his hair and avoided the ice giant's gaze.
Neptune didn’t say anything. The flurry of words sorted themselves into a legible sentence, and he had a sinking feeling he wouldn’t be much help to Earth after all.
“You’re… dating…?”
“No! No, absolutely not!” He shook his head violently. "I don't want to date- I don't have feelings, any of it."
Oh, good. Neptune was never really good at talking about that kind of stuff. He didn't understand why Triton acted so weird whenever he brought up that scary Jovian moon, or why Uranus had acted so weird during the whole mess with X. Stars, he still thought Jupiter and Saturn were strange with their whole deal. I tried to understand it, but I don't.
“You’re not dating Mars.” He repeated, waiting for Earth to confirm. “Buuut everyone thinks you are?”
“I promise you-” Earth laced his hands together and held them towards Neptune. “-on my Life, I don’t have feelings for Mars.”
“Okay. I believe you.”
“I—" He cut himself off. "Y-you do?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Earth stared at him, then sagged forward like he had been fighting a great gravity that had finally disappeared. “Oh, thank the stars.” He peeked back at Neptune. “You’re… not going to tell me I'm being dramatic and should go back to my orbit?”
“Nope!”
Earth let out a heavy sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, then up and down his arms. Hm. I'm not going to tell him to go back, but... it is really cold for him.
His scarf was too big for the rocky planet to wear, but Neptune reached up to unwind it from his neck, and carefully leaned over to wrap it around Earth. The final result was less like a scarf like the universe's most weirdly shaped blanket.
Earth froze initially, but relaxed with a sigh when Neptune pulled away. “Thanks.” He muttered. He ran his hand over the material and raised his eyebrows. “Wow, this is really soft.”
“Don’t want you to become an ice planet after all. That’s me and Uranus’ thing.” Neptune rocked back, noting with satisfaction that Earth's shivering had abated somewhat.
Asteroids were beginning to gravitate towards them again, drawn by their combined mass. With a small nudge, Neptune pushed most into inoffensive orbits around the two of them, and flicked the most dangerous looking ones away from the rocky world.
“So," he said. "They- the other rocky planets?- They think you and Mars are together, and you’re upset about that.”
“… no." He draw the scarf more firmly around his shoulders. "I mean, Mercury thought we were dating, or about to, but Venus just said I had a crush on Mars that I needed to get over, something like that. And— I mean, it didn’t bother me much at first.” He shrugged, “I thought they were kidding.”
"...But..?"
“But, it didn’t stop. They just kept— they started by just asking, and they didn’t believe me when I said that I wasn't interested. And after a while then they basically started telling me I had a crush! I don't."
Yeah, Neptune could see how that would get annoying. Especially if it was repeated so much. “What about Mars? What did he think about it?”
Earth groaned loudly and thunked his head against his knees. “I don’t know. I don’t know if he knows, or if Mercury talked to him. He’s been acting weird the past few days." He thunked his head a few more times in frustration. "And I don't want to bring it up in case he doesn't know and I just make it awkward. Or ruin it somehow. Or worse! He doesn't believe me and thinks I'm lying about not having a crush on him, because everyone in the universe thinks I'm lying!"
I don't, he wanted to point out. But this rant was probably hyperbolic on purpose.
"Even Luna thought I was lying." Earth gasped for breath, and Neptune realised at some point the rocky world had started crying. "He didn't believe me. He tried to give me tips on how to ask Mars out. I don't want to. And then I got mad, a-and yelled at him, and ran off..."
And ended up here, Neptune surmised. Earth seemed to have run out of steam for his story now. "Yeah. That sucks."
Earth let out a startled, wet sounding laugh. The ice giant counted that as a victory.
Sniffling, Earth took a few deep breaths. "It's such a stupid thing to get so worked up over."
"Nah. They didn't listen to you, and you got upset. That's reasonable."
“But, what if I’m only upset because I do have feelings?” Earth's voice cracked halfway through. He wiped away the tears that had begun to freeze on his cheeks. "And I'm just too dense to realise it?"
Neptune's eyebrows furrowed together. “I don’t think so. I mean, if everyone told me that my surface was yellow even though I knew it was blue, I’d get upset eventually too. Even if it seemed silly."
Earth groaned, but the tension in his shoulders eased a little. He pulled Neptune’s scarf over his head like a hood and disappeared in fabric. “I don't even know what a crush feels like. I've never felt that stuff before."
“Me neither." Neptune chewed the inside of his cheek. "Never really wanted it, either."
"Same," came the muffled response. The lump of fabric shifted in place, rising and falling with the planet's breaths. “...Neptune?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think... are we supposed to want it?"
The question was asked so quietly that Neptune almost didn’t hear it. “I don't know. It always seemed a bit silly.”
Earth was quiet for a moment. His head poked out of the makeshift hood, shining eyes turning away to gaze at the familiar splattering of distant stars. “It's really common on my surface. All sorts of Earthlings have their own way of doing stuff, it’s hard to keep track. But there isn't a right way. Some animal species are monogamous, some aren't, some have really complex mating rituals..." he exhaled. "Then there are plants, bacteria, fungi. Lots of different approaches.
“It’s just part of how it works. How procreation works. It makes sense, evolution wise. Passing down genes, and all that.And humans- they're socially monogamous- they took the idea and ran with it. They put so much meaning towards love. Romantic love. They've made so many stories and movies about it. It's important. They even have a saying, that 'love is what makes them human'." he made airquotes. "And... well, we aren't human."
Earth exhaled. His breath was visible in tiny glittering fragments of ice. “But then when I went into that whole trance, I saw Proto and Theia’s memories. And— that was real." He turned to Neptune, eyes wide. "Those emotions. I felt it in those memories. But- it wasn't me. It was so strange, and foreign, I don’t— am I meant to want that? Am I doing something wrong if I don’t want it?”
Neptune had asked himself the same question. A lot.
“I don't think— I'm not a very good planet to talk to about this." Neptune knew everyone thought he was weird. He knew he was a bit odd compared to everyone else and not 'normal' (although, with all the possibilities in a near infinite universe, it was a bit silly to call anything 'normal'). "I'm not very good at conversations in general, but especially not about this. I don't feel that kind of stuff."
He pushed another few asteroids away, hand creeping up to toy with his scarf before he remembered Earth was holding onto it. “I’ve never felt like I was missing anything important— well, no. I miss a lot, I know. But not love. I love my moons. I love my cousin. I love living in the Solar System and being alive in this universe. That's enough.”
But it wasn't. Words began to march out of his mouth before he could untangle them. “B-but I— Uranus, I don’t know it it was good enough. And with X— he started acted weird, it wasn’t just the Caelus thing, he had a- I tried to understand but— it, he—“
“Uranus had a crush on X?”
Neptune froze.
That is... probably not something Uranus would want going around.
“I won’t bring it up,” Earth promised before he could panic. “I won't judge.”
“I didn't understand it,” Neptune weakly finished.
“I mean, according to Venus, X was conventionally attractive so there’s probably an appeal—“
Neptune decided to pay no mind to that last bit. “I tried to get it. I’ve thought about it so, so much, because it was something that I didn't understand, and it was upsetting Uranus. I tried, but it just…”
“Doesn’t make sense.”
They both sat there for a moment. Were they missing something? Something in their core that everyone else seemed to intrinsically know and want? Something that only showed up in stories in a far nebulous universe, yet apparently was as real as the gravity holding both of them in place.
But it's not like I don't feel love. I do, just not that kind. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything at all. How could any love be better or more important than the love he felt for his moons?
“Triton, Proteus, Nereid, Larissa," Neptune murmured under his breath. "Thalassa, Despina, Galatea, Laomediea, Halimede, Sao, Psamathe, Neso, Naiad, Hippocamp, S/2002 N5 and S/2021 N. I love them. And Uranus, and his moons. And math."
“…Did you make like a mnemonic to remember all of your moons, or something?”
Neptune had almost forgotten Earth was still there. He frowned. “You didn’t use a mnemonic when you were listing off whale species the last time we played Battleships."
"Good point, actually."
Neptune waited expectantly. He nudged Earth in the side.
"What?"
"It's your turn."
"My turn to what?"
"Say things you love!"
"Oh. Really?" At Neptune's nod, Earth began to speak slowly. as if he was testing the shape of each word. "I love Luna. I love having Life, and being a living planet. I love seeing everything grow, and that they've survived this long and keep evolving, even if it has come with some hard times." After a moment's hesitation, he added, "I do love Mars. Just not in the way everyone expects me to."
Neptune hummed. "We have a lot of love in us, then."
He exhaled. "Yeah. I guess so." He suddenly seemed so small in the oversized scarf. He looked up at Neptune and asked in a small voice, "Is it enough?"
“I think it’s more than enough.” He couldn’t see how there would be a ‘more fulfilling’ kind of love. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. But… maybe I don’t want to. I'm happy how I am.
“… they don’t get it.” Earth said, tilting his head towards the inner system.
“We don’t understand them, they don't understand us.” Neptune fiddles with a loose thread on his sleeves, nodding his head after a moment. “That’s fair, I think.”
"It's frustrating."
Neptune shrugged. Yeah, probably.
“It's- it's still nice to have someone who does." Earth glanced over for a briefly. "Understand it, I mean."
Yeah. It is nice.
Earth finally stood up, pulling Neptune’s scarf closer to himself as he shivered. He looked past the confusing patterns of the asteroid belt, towards the Sun's light. “I think I need to head back.”
That seemed like a good idea. His continents were turning an unhealthy shade of white. Neptune stood up carefully so as to avoid accidentally launching asteroids where they should not be. “I’ll come with you.”
“You don’t— I can handle it. Them.”
“I'll walk you to the Goldilocks zone, then. Besides, I promised I'd teach you about partial differential equations, remember?"
"Oh, yeah. I guess you did."
“They’re easy enough if you know integration," Neptune offered.
“I, uhh… don’t. But sure.” Earth reached up to the fabric still hugging his shoulders. “Do you want your scarf back?”
"Eh, keep it. I have twenty three identical ones in my orbit."