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The Meaning Behind Life: The Kimetsu Teachers are Gay

Summary:

Tengen: I may or may not have gossip

Himejima: And I appear.

Shinobu: I guarantee its gonna be something dumb

Tengen: I am wounded.

Sanemi: why.

Sanemi: are you BLOWING UP MY F*CKING PHONE???

Giyuu: You can easily mute the chat.

Sanemi: …

Obanai: Simpnazugawa frfr

Rengoku: My dear brother…you cannot be talking

 

~~~a silly fic about Kimetsu Teachers being crackheads.~~~

Notes:

So, this work was actually inspired by The Miscellaneous Adventures of High School Teachers by Neo_Grass, so go check theirs out!

Have fun reading.

Chapter 1: Kanae's ex is fruity as a drag queen

Chapter Text

The Kimetsu Teachers

7:09 AM

Tengen: I may or may not have gossip

Himejima: And I appear.

Shinobu: I guarantee its gonna be something dumb

Tengen: I am wounded.

Sanemi: why.

Sanemi: are you BLOWING UP MY F*CKING PHONE???

Giyuu: You can easily mute the chat.

Sanemi: …

Obanai: Simpnazugawa frfr

Rengoku: My dear brother…you cannot be talking

Mitsuri: ??? wdym, rengoku? Who?

Obanai: Absolutely nothing. (I will castrate you, Kyojuro.)

Rengoku: ✌︎㋡

Tengen: GUYS.

Sanemi: WHAT DO YOU WANTTTT??????

Tengen: So, apparently, over at Akuma Academy, Kanae’s ex is going after a married man

Kanae: Excuse me??

Giyuu: where were you

Kanae: sleeping. Its 7am. I have half an hour to nap at my desk before class.

Kanae: also, are you talking abt Douma

Tengen: duh

Kanae: Oh yeah, hes fruity

Giyuu: no, we didn’t know.

Giyuu: (¬_¬)

Gyomei: i must admit, its hilarious when Giyuu bullies people

Kanae: (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ Et tu, Gyomei???

Gyomei: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shinobu: no offense, but that guy was crazy

Kanae: He wasn’t….

Sanemi: He tried to bite obanai once-

Mitsuri: wHat.

Rengoku: don’t kill him, mits

Mitsuri: …ill put the shotgun away

Tengen: anyways, its akaza he's chasing.

Giyuu: what

Rengoku: what

Obanai: fr? Jesus.

Giyuu: I just got off the phone with Karl, tengen’s not lying

Sanemi: who tf is Karl??

Giyuu: Kokushibo.

Kanae: your friends w/ him???

Giyuu: yes

Tengen: this actually explains so much abt why Giyuu is so well-informed abt Akuma…

Himejima: u realize classes start in 5 mins.

Giyuu: can i be late for once? My cat died

Sanemi: you don’t own a cat

Giyuu: sanemi, quiet.

Sanemi: …

Tengen: LMAOOO

Rengoku: whipped.

Shinobu: (¬_¬")

Gyomei: ofc Giyuu, im so sorry, i love cats

Giyuu: thanks.

Gyomei: the rest of you, skedaddle.

Kanae: favoritism.