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There were times where Naim often would daydream what their daughter would look like. He would find his mind drifting, creating an image of a baby with Ryan's soft cherub curls and those deep blue eyes that he couldn't hide anything from. She was devastatingly beautiful, it only made him that much more excited to meet her and yet, he was flooded with fear instantly when he remembered she wouldn't be protected by his body. That being born meant that she would be subjected to the world and all it had to offer and take from her.
It would bring tears to his eyes, soft muffled sobs leaving his mouth as he tried to cover them with his pillow not wanting to wake Ryan up — he looked so tired nowadays.
"Have you thought about what we should name her?" Ryan mused as he and Naim laid together in a hammock, a gentle breeze blowing over them as they swung back and forth.
Naim tilted his head sleepily, craning his head to look up at his boyfriend's face. "Hmm? Oh, I don't think I have one in mind. I think she should just go 'round as baby no name." A grin slid lazily on his lips, threading his fingers through the hand that rested on his stomach that had grown over the last few months. It was like he had 'popped' overnight, he was able to wear Ryan's shirts which was something he wore anyways.
On his naturally trim frame, the shirts used to look baggy and three sizes too big but now that he had grow outward they fit slightly more snug now.
"Huh, baby no name Reid-Whelan, I like the sound of it." Ryan mused, stroking his chin in playful thought.
"She'll be incredibly popular," Naim closed his eyes letting the feeling of just being with his other half blow over him like the warm breeze that continued to rock their hammock. It felt freeing to be able to just relax like this, the pain of the past mingling with the anxiety slowly leaving with every day that passed as a small won victory.
The battle of outside elements that wanted to keep them apart, they were keeping the entities at bay that had once threatened their very existence.
Suddenly Naim's eyes flew open startling Ryan who had been watching him, memorizing every feature on the smaller male's face.
"What? What is it?" Ryan wasn't sure what to think, especially because Naim wasn't answering him just holding a hand over his stomach.
Finally after what felt like forever, Naim grabbed Ryan's hand and placed it on top of his bump letting him feel.
A gentle thump against his open palm had Ryan's eyes widening in disbelief. "Was that? Oh my god she actually moved- you better not be messing with me."
Naim shook his head, a laugh bubbling its way up when he felt it again. "She's real." He whispered, almost like he hadn't believed for the last few months that his growing midsection was housing anything but then there she was. Those gentle movements within him just reconfirmed what they knew.
Almost like their daughter was telling them that she was right there with them.
"She's kicking again." Naim's voice still sleep laden broke through Ryan's dream a gentle way to wake him up as opposed to the nightmares he used to have. The ones where Naim was screaming for him, begging for something to stop hurting him — begging for him to stop but this was so tender.
This didn't have him waking up in a cold sweat, it was a gentle nudge no urgency just a sweet reminder of the little person they had made together reminding them that she was there. That they weren't alone anymore.
Wait...she kicked.
Ryan scrambled to sit up, flipping on the light. "She is? Let me feel." He wanted her to do it so badly for him it had been so long since the first time she had. Naim had let him feel the first time she apparently had done it but now she was doing it again and he wanted to make sure he felt it.
Seconds ticked by with Ryan's hand firmly pressed against the curve of Naim's belly until he felt something thump against his palm once...twice...three times. "Holy shit..." He whispered, a crooked grin pulling at the edge of his lips. "Hey there, nice to meet ya." He teased, the edges of his vision blurring with happy tears that threatened to escape.
This reminded him she was real. He kept reminding himself of this but today their daughter decided to remind him too and he couldn't have been happier.