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“You should really… take her out.”
The dread crept closer into AJ’s chest.
The dread that had started an invasion in her body the second she read the words Investigations on Drift.
The same dread that intensified as she saw the words Princess Rynn for the first time.
The same dread as when Osteon told her they needed to meet.
It twirled around her body and limbs, curling its way inside her organs. It must be at her lungs, now, since she was finding it difficult to breathe.
“Take her out?” AJ echoed. She made sure her voice was void. That it was void of the internal panic she was feeling, the confusion, and desperation that Osteon wouldn’t be telling her to do, what she thought he was. “You mean…”
Everything inside her hoped that Osteon would say talk to her about it, and get her to tell the truth. Maybe even help her hide her identity and make sure no one else knows.
But, of course, he didn’t.
No, AJ was not so lucky.
She was not fortunate.
“Mm. Finish the job? I don’t know what you kids… call it.” The Mage dressed in full black told her. If AJ succeded in making it seem as if this did not bother her, Osteon must truly not care. His posture was straight and poised, as if he were some ballerina. Their face was stoic, still.
Like this truly did not matter. Like they were discussing roommates, not the fate of one of the few people AJ actually—
Nevermind.
Nevermind, AJ. She told herself loudly. AJ needed the voice — the voice of reason — to overpower all the rest. To overtake the dread.
Finish the job.
AJ couldn’t say anything.
She knew that she should probably nod in response, or say yes, I’ll kill my girlfriend for you, Osteon.
But for the first time in her life at the Academy, AJ’s lips seemed to be stitched closed. Someone must have come in earlier and swiftly threaded a needle and suture through her mouth. Why else would she so incapacitated right now? Why else would she have so much to say, yet not be able to even whimper?
Please don’t make me do this.
There’s got to be another way.
If I just talk to her, I’m sure there’s a reason for her to hide this.
AJ must have taken longer than she thought to reply, because Osteon cocked his head at her. She looked confused by AJ’s silence.
Confused by the shock on her face that she was trying so hard to hide, maybe.
“Is that— I’m sorry, but is that not… what this has all been leading up to?” Osteon frowned at the Death Mage. His pale skin glowed in the dark surroundings of his office.
Leading up to?
Leading up to killing her? To leaving her?
None of this was for that.
None of their relationship was— was a lie. It wasn’t even something AJ wanted to call a lie. It was the truest she’d ever felt, the truest she, possibly, may ever be.
Was this truly what the Academy thought of AJ? That, no matter who, no matter when, why, she would always want to hurt people?
“I don’t—” She stuttered. I don’t understand.
The Wither Mage sighed loudly, knocking one knuckle on the wooden table. The sound echoed louder in AJ’s head. “I’ve heard around the Academy, AJ, and from you and Drift yourselves. You both are… involved.”
Involved. She sat with the word for a moment. They were more than involved. Involved was not even a mere shred of it.
“Yeah…” AJ settled on. Her stomach felt as if it might explode if she uttered more than singular word answers.
Osteon waited a moment before replying. “Which, I am happy for you, of course. But how serious could this relationship be when both of you hide so much from each other?”
Out of everything in this stupid Academy, Drift was…
Maybe not serious, but the most serious. That had to count for something.
“It is serious.”
“I’m sure you both think that, but—”
This bitch.
“Osteon, I do care about her.” Despite her efforts not to, AJ began to break. Her heart physically cracked, and her voice followed. “And this, yes, it changes things. It changes a lot, I know that, but there’s got to be an explanation—”
“Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t.” He interjected. “Maybe what Drift tells you will make the situation better, or a million times worse. But that isn’t what matters. Not if you are actually serious about… this.”
This…
The Rebels.
She was asking her to choose.
Drift, or the Rebels. Of the whole reason she was here.
“I see.”
“Which is why I need you to finish the job. Let your relationship with her go where it needs to. If you truly are serious about everything, AJ, like you claim to be, you will be honest with her. No matter what she says or does.”
Honest—
Great. That was AJ’s specialty.
But if AJ was honest, she couldn’t just tell Drift she knew her identity.
There was so much more to be honest about.
About whenever she looked to the moon, she imagined her face. How as she slept, she dreamed of her. That every mention of her name or glimpse of her face brought not just happiness back into her life, but hope. Hope for a future with her.
But AJ couldn’t tell her that.
Not in her vows, not in bed, and certainly not when she needed to hurt her.
“Honest about…” She prompted softly. Her voice was becoming increasingly tired, pathetic. Accepting of the crime she was soon to commit.
“Her identity, your powers, whatever else you may be hiding from Drift.” AJ looked into her eyes. It was odd. AJ assumed Osteon would look grim, maybe. Hoped that he would care at least a tiny bit about Drift, or AJ herself. But they only looked hopeful. Excited to tell AJ this. Why the fuck would you be excited to say this? “She has to believe it, AJ. She has to believe it’s the truth. Do you understand me? If you want this to work, she needs to understand.”
Words were stolen from her throat. All AJ could do was nod.
“You both lie to each other, and now is the time to be truthful. Take her out. I don’t want to know the details, only that this… issue, has been resolved.”
AJ could do that. Right? Tell her the truth — or, at the very least, the truth she could say.
But Drift wasn’t stupid.
She knows AJ cares, and she knows that AJ wouldn’t hurt her.
Not on purpose, at least.
“What if she doesn’t believe the truth?” She barely trusted herself to whisper the question.
“Truth is subjective, is it not? If you care about her, you’ll tell her what she needs to know. Whatever she needs to believe you.”
The dread was gone.
It’s grip on her heart and lungs lessened, as it retracted its tentacles.
A wash of sadness was all that remained.
A sadness she was sure would escalate. Into insanity, maybe. Probably.
But at least the dread was gone, because AJ knew what she had to do.
If you care about her, you’ll tell her what she needs to know.
AJ does care.
Drift isn’t safe here. The other students might find out, the Rebels might kidnap her. Her parents might come for her, to take her back and lock her up.
AJ couldn’t let that happen.
Whatever she needs to believe you.
Secretly, AJ wished for someone who understood her. Who knew her inside and out.
She understood Drift. She knew her inside and out.
Never did AJ expect to need to use that against her.
The Mage did not notice her head nod in silent agreement, nor her body life off the chair and walk towards the door.
Only when the exit was right in front of her, and Osteon called her name, did she slip out from her thoughts.
“And, AJ?”
“Yes?”
How her voice did not entirely crack and shake, AJ had no clue.
“I am sorry about this.”