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The warmth of the sun kissing his skin was what got his eyes to flutter open. The brightness caught him off guard, causing his hand to fly up and shield his still groggy eyes. ‘Too bright…’ Wei Wuxian muttered to himself, blinking slowly until his vision regained focus. Since when the Gusu sun was so bright and warm? 

Usually the rays of sunlight wouldn’t quite reach the highest point of the mountain where he and his husband resided. And he knew he was in Gusu and not Yunmeng, because the gentle aroma of flowers in full bloom caressed and wrapped him in a sweet embrace.

It was peaceful. Serene and full of tranquility. 

Wei Wuxian slowly sits up, the view in front of him changing from the bright blue sky to the familiar meadow at the back of the mountains. Ah, he must’ve fallen asleep again. Can he be blamed, though? The bunny meadow has always been such a nice place to take naps! 

As he stretched his limbs out it didn’t take long to notice something was amiss.

The meadow was covered in wild flowers and the green grass swayed gently with the spring breeze. Long slender fingers hovered over the soft grass and soon plucked a wild primrose. He brings it up closer to his face and carefully inspects it. Odd… last thing he remembers was teasing Lan Zhan for overly worrying about the bunnies being warm enough in the snow. Unless Wei Wuxian managed to sleep for a whole season to change, there’s no possible way that winter could turn to spring overnight.

Before he can keep speculating, a soft rustling sound catches his attention. His gaze follows the sound and eyes grow wide with pure surprise when he notices a small bundle of white robes hiding within the tall grass. Curiosity easily wins him over, already pushing himself on his feet. The wind blowing past him makes his dark robes flutter and dance as he comes closer to the source of the sound, surprise washing over his face when he realized that the bundle of white wasn’t a small herd of bunnies but a little Lan picking flowers.

The sight has Wei Wuxian’s eyes growing wide and heart melting into a puddle in his chest. 

The little Lan knelt on the grass, small fingers shifting from flower to flower as if deciding which one to pluck first. The urge to pick the little Lan in his arms was strong, not just because the sight was absolutely adorable but because he knew who that little Lan was. It didn’t take Wei Wuxian long to put together that this was a memory and he was extremely curious to see what it was about, because he would’ve never imagined that little Lan Zhan would ever be the type of kid to kneel on the ground and dirty his pristine white robes.

And let’s not forget his hair! Wei Wuxian has seen Lan Zhan’s hair in his usual half-up, in a ponytail and braided, but never in two secure buns! Oh, he wants to bully him so badly!

While Wei Wuxian was distracted with keeping his cuteness aggression under control, he hadn’t noticed little Lan Zhan had finished collecting his flowers and was slowly standing up from his kneeling posture. Bright golden pools grow wide, a quiet gasp escaping and indicating how startled the boy was if only for a moment. Even this young, Lan Zhan already carried a serious aura but how could Wei Wuxian take him seriously when his face was nothing but chubby cheeks and bashfulness? 

He hides the flowers behind him, as if putting them out of sight would erase the fact that he got caught. 

Wei Wuxian chuckles softly, crouching to Lan Zhan’s level and letting his head rest on his propped hand. The action has Lan Zhan taking two steps back, brows furrowing and making the lan ribbon dip in almost a comical way. The ribbon appeared to be too big on him.

“Why the sour face, little one?” Wei Wuxian asked, “No need to look at me with heavy accusation! This one has not done anything wrong.” 

His words only seem to deepen Lan Zhan’s frown. Ah, frowning so much since such a young age! Though, not as scary as his adult one. Now really taking Lan Zhan’s features he doesn’t look older than five years, which makes him wonder why is he all alone and unsupervised.

Wait…

“Y-You…” Lan Zhan stutters quietly, gaze quickly averting from the cultivator. One hand closes into a tight fist over the skirt of his robes though the one holding the random assortment of flowers remains as relaxed as he can manage. “Y-You shouldn’t b-be here…”

Wei Wuxian blinks a few times, taken aback not only by how absolutely adorable Lan Zhan was but because of how serious he wanted to be perceived. Once it fully kicks in, Wei Wuxian has to tightly press his lips together in order to keep a smile from breaking free. It’s not like this is Wei Wuxian’s first time witnessing this sort of behavior, he did meet Lan Zhan when he was truly an unmoving mountain and a cold rule follower. A true fuddy-duddy! Yet, there was something different about seeing chubby-cheeked Lan Zhan already trying to uphold the manners of the ideal Lan. 

“Is that so?” The dark cultivator replies with a teasing tone. He hums softly, as if in thought. “I dunno, something tells me you’re not supposed to be here either.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes widened slightly before an inaudible huff slipped through his nose. The boy inspects him from head to toe, taking in his clothes and features. Probably looking for more incriminating evidence to shoot back at him.

After what seemed to be an eternity, little Lan Zhan heaves a quiet sigh, shoulders sagging with defeat. “I will attend punishment…”

Wei Wuxian blinks with bewilderment. Punishment? What is he doing that guarantees a punishment at such a young age? Granted, it was weird that Lan Zhan was all by himself in a flower field at a decent distance from the main houses, but this shouldn’t be bad enough to be punished. However, it’s not surprising given all the damn rules the clan carried.

“Punishment?” He asks as he titles his head in though, fingers tapping on his chin. “For picking flowers?”

Lan Zhan averts his eyes to the side, subtly trying to hide the random assortment of flowers further behind his back. The conflict raging in his mind was clear by how his brows furrow and his lips pursed into the smallest of pouts. Wei Wuxian would’ve never imagined witnessing such a thing from a younger version of his husband. The urge to pinch and poke his cheeks was slowly becoming uncontrollable, but witnessing the conflict intensifying in the Lan’s eyes urged him to focus. 

So Wei Wuxian scoots closer, dark robes pooling on the ground as he fully kneels in front of Lan Zhan. As much as he wanted to scoop him into his arms and hold him close, he urged to restrain himself. For now, at least. “Hey, don’t look so utterly defeated! There’s no reason for punishment if you haven’t broken any rules, right?”

Little Lan Zhan’s golden eyes gaze at him with consideration for a fraction of a second before averting from the cultivator. “I… I separated from Ge… Shouldn’t have.”

A hum resonates in his chest, contemplating the situation. Though… now that he had much more of a closer look at the little Lan, there was a glint in his eyes that resembled nothing near remorse. If anything, it seemed he felt more guilt for being caught rather than the action itself. For someone who is striving to be the perfect Lan doesn’t look guilty for breaking the rules in the slightest! Who knew Lan Zhan could be this devious as a child! 

“Well…” Wei Wuxian starts as he plucks one of the flowers swaying with the gentle spring breeze. He can play this little game if it means entertaining Lan Zhan’s mischief for a little longer. “Good thing I’m the one that found you and not an elder, right?”

The little Lan eyed him with caution, as if deciding if to pay his words any attention. Wei Wuxian can only chuckle under his breath, he cannot get enough of Lan Zhan being this expressive! If only a fraction more than the Lan Zhan he knows. 

He offers the flower to the boy as a peace offering, “You can trust me, Xiao-Lan. I won’t tell a single soul of your little escapade, and I’ll return you to your Ge before anyone notices you're gone!” Wei Wuxian finishes by holding up three fingers to seal his promise.

Caution still remained in those big golden eyes, though they seemed to soften when they lowered towards the flower offered to him. Small fingers gently take a hold of it and add it to the random assortment on his other hand. With a determined nod of his head and a firm “Mn.” Lan Zhan accepts Wei Wuxian’s help. 

Once ready, both of them set off back to Cloud Recesses living area side by side.

It didn’t take long to reach the courtyard. Despite this being a Cloud Recesses from a time before him, it still felt familiar and like home. However, instead of strolling where people would usually walk and be, Wei Wuxian took a detour to the little village where the servants resided. He knows no one other than Lan Zhan can see him, but where was the fun if he couldn’t pretend to be on a super secret special mission to return the little Lan to his older brother?

They both sneak behind a building and soon Wei Wuxian takes a quick peek to make sure the coast is clear. Doing this reminded him of his time during the lectures, when he was sneaking around at night so he could go get the hidden jars of Emperor’s Smiles right outside the clan’s wall. The memory has him fighting a smile before he turns around to signal Lan Zhan that the coast it’s clear. It would be a lie if the cultivator didn’t feel thrill and amusement about this newfound information, even more surprising to see the boy playing along! Lan Zhan looked up at him, expression still stoic for a child, but those clear golden eyes held nothing but excitement and playfulness.

And Wei Wuxian returns all of it with a bright smile.

“We need to stay quiet, okay?” He whispers while holding his finger up to his lips. Lan Zhan nods once in understanding. “Where did you see your Ge last?”

Lan Zhan hums to himself in thought, taking a few moments before quietly shuffling forward and pointing somewhere to the path towards one of the mountains. And just in cue, what Wei Wuxian assumed was a far younger version of the eldest Jade of Lan, appears walking up the path Lan Zhan had pointed to. 

Being this young the resemblance between the two Lan brothers was unmatched, looking almost identical to one another. Their features were soft, untouched by the crushing weight of expectations of the rule abiding sect. Lan Xichen paced slowly over the path, stopping every once in a while to look around in search for something, or some one. It was a tad comical to see him veering off to the bushes and carefully look through them. There’s no way… was Lan Zhan supposed to be hiding behind one? 

What in the world were these little Lan planning? 

Wei Wuxian had been so distracted that he had nearly missed the gentle tug of his robes. Lan Zhan gazed up at him expectantly, a question of why weren’t they moving forming in his eyes. Guess there won’t be any time for him to enjoy little Lan Zhan… He has to fight the pout attempting to form on his lips, but he has to let the memory play along without any more disruption. 

Unable to contain himself any longer, Wei Wuxian gently pats and ruffles Lan Zhan’s head and chuckles with surprise when the boy groans with annoyance, before he attempts to get away from the touch. “The coast is clear, xiao-Lan. You are free to return to your Ge!”

With puffed up cheeks, and a pout, Lan Zhan takes a few steps forward and takes a deep breath. He looks at the random flower assortment in his hand and back to where his brother is. Uncertainty replaces the annoyance on his soft features before searching for Wei Wuxian. Huh… What could possibly have Lan Zhan hesitating?

“What’s wrong?” Wei Wuxian asks without a second thought, scooting closer to the boy. 

Golden eyes return to the flowers in his chubby hands. There’s a long pause between them as Lan Zhan seems to gather and sort his thoughts carefully. At the end of it all, Lan Zhan bashfully bows to him, unceremoniously hands Wei Wuxian back the flower he had given him and walks towards where his brother is in a flustered, yet very Lan manner.

Wei Wuxian blinks before looking down at the flower in his hand and huffs a chuckle. “You really don’t like saying what you mean, huh?”

His gaze remains on the siblings as they interact once Lan Xichen takes notice of his younger brother. The scene before him made his heart grow soft and melt; Lan Xichen’s features had been adorned with concern until he saw his younger brother walking towards him, and without warning he had enveloped him in a tight hug. It took Wei Wuxian by surprise to witness such interaction, not because he didn’t believe Lan Xichen cared for Lan Zhan, but because he never thought he’d witness it with his own eyes. At least not to this degree. 

“A-Zhan, where were you?” Lan Xichen asks with a mixture of relief and fear. “You never take this long when choosing a gift… Did someone see you?”

Lan Zhan subtly glances over to where Wei Wuxian was still hiding. He knows no one other than Lan Zhan can see him, but he couldn’t help the urge to hide away and hold his breath when golden eyes searched for him. Still, he strains to hear the conversation between the two jades because at the end of the day, Wei Wuxian is too curious to see what this memory is really about.

“I got distracted.” Wei Wuxian hears Lan Zhan explain quietly and simply. “Too many flowers to choose.”

Wei Wuxian peeks once more with the intention to listen and perhaps follow the young Twin Jades in their adventure. Meanwhile, Lan Xichen sighs with relief before chuckling quietly. 

Lan Xichen stepped closer to his younger brother to fix and smooth out his hair buns. He clearly wanted to ask how he got his hair all messed up but decided not to. “Alright then.” Lan Xichen decided after giving his younger brother one final check, “Let us go and see A-Niang. We shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

Did Wei Wuxian hear that right? They were going to see Madam Lan… So this is a memory of one of their monthly visits. Suddenly, Wei Wuxian feels he shouldn’t follow the young Twin Jades. No one has ever seen the late Lan-Furen except for Lan Zhan’s father, Lan Qiren and a few Lan healers… 

The two Lan had already started heading up the path up the mountain where he knows the Gentian House is, though this time it wouldn’t be empty. Abandoned. Forgotten and discarded like its old resident.

Before he can give the idea more thought and logic, Wei Wuxian stands and follows close behind the siblings. As much as he feels off witnessing this, at the same time he wanted to learn more about Madam Lan. It’s not like Wei Wuxian hasn’t tried to learn about her, but he could see how difficult it was for Lan Zhan to talk about her, whether it was about rules or the memories being too painful.

While Wei Wuxian trailed behind, and out of sight thanks to the trees along the path, Lan Xichen took his brother’s hand and strolled up the path.

“Are you excited to see A-Niang, A-Zhan?” The eldest Lan inquired, a soft smile lifting his lips at the stoic expression on his younger brother. Despite the seriousness the little Lan happened to carry, his honey eyes were wide with wonder and shinning with excitement. 

Lan Zhan briefly looks up at his older brother and then faces forward, agreeing with an eager “Mn!” Which only makes Lan Xichen chuckle. 

What a curious little Lan his younger brother is. 

The gravel stirs under their feet as they walk the path towards the Gentian House. The flowers were in full bloom, the sweet scent of magnolia gently flowing along the warm spring breeze. The clouds drift across the sky, creating fluffy shadows on their path. It really is a beautiful day.

“Do you have A-Niang’s gift?” Lan Xichen asks quietly before scanning his surroundings.

They weren’t supposed to bring anything other than themselves to the Gentian House. It was strictly forbidden, yet Lan Xichen had grown weak to his younger brother’s wobbly bottom lip and how deep his brows furrowed. Not to mention the tears brimming in his usually calm eyes. 

Lan Xichen is very aware of the consequences if they get caught breaking the rules, but in all honesty… He would break them if it meant keeping his younger brother happy. After all, it was his task as the eldest Lan! Or at least that’s the secret task his mother assigned for him.

Soon the two Lan’s are standing in front of that familiar door. Before stepping forward, Lan Huan quietly and effortlessly turns towards his younger brother and inspects him. The Lan ribbon sits across his forehead where it should, however, Lan Huan gently tilts it upward. Making the ribbon slightly askew.

Lan Zhan does his best not to fix it. 

“Hold it for a few more moments, okay?” The eldest Lan says, to which the younger Lan responds with a barely audible groan.

Once ready, Lan Xichen rasps his knuckles against the door, his knock loud enough for the only occupant in the house to hear. Both children gasp quietly when the door opens, the gap big enough for the two of them to come in.

The fragrance of gentians and jasmines envelops both children as they step inside the house. Not a single second passes before white and blue robes invade their vision and a strong pair of arms wrap around them in a loving hug.

A smile adorns Lan Xichen’s face as he returns his mother’s hug, and he has to laugh when he notices how stiff Lan Zhan has gotten at the attack of affection.

“My boys…” Madam Lan sighs with contentment, as if this was the first time in a long time she had been able to breathe. “Ah, I can barely fit both of you in my arms!”

The three of them stay in the embrace for a while. Living in the moment and committing their mother’s warmth and touch to memory.

If they could, they would stay like this forever… But their time was limited, and the flow of the sands of time stops for no one so Lan Xichen is the first to pull away. For a moment he admires her, how her skin is smooth like jade, her features elegant and delicate. The beauty mark under her right eye compliments the warmth of those pools of honey. Her raven hair, usually spilling over her shoulder in a loose ponytail, is fully tied up in a low bun and held in place by a jade pin. 

“A-Niang, we have so much to tell you.” He says, breaking the silence.

She responds with a radiant smile and soon stands from where she was kneeling. “I cannot wait to hear all about it!” Before she can take a step, Lan Zhan holds on tightly to her skirts, gently pulling to get her attention. 

Once her warm honey eyes land on the little Lan, he’s quick to point at his askew ribbon. A delicate laugh slips from her lips, full of life and joy. It was the most beautiful thing Lan Xichen has heard, not even the music scores from their clan came close!

“Oh my.” Madam Lan hums, “It seems this clan’s ribbon is still too big for Xiao-ZhanZhan.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes widen, a quiet gasp escaping his lips as his mother picks him up. Lan Xichen has to hold a laugh when he notices a subtle blush tinting his ears and puffed up cheeks.

It was always like this: Lan Zhan would ask his brother to mess his perfectly tied Lan ribbon, only so their mother could fix it and retie it. But every time, Lan Zhan would grow shy and embarrassed at Madam Lan’s teasing. It was the most expressive Lan Zhan would be.

“A-Zhan, don’t forget the gift.” Lan Xichen whispered while their mother poked Lan Zhan’s cheeks.

Before she could continue the relentless attack to his cheeks, Lan Zhan is quick to present the flowers that he had been clutching the entire time. The stems were bruised, but the petals were still intact. They were a mix of wildflowers growing in the back of the mountains, and Lan Zhan had picked them all himself. Surprise washed over Madam Lan’s face, features soon growing soft under the spring sunlight filtering through the window. 

“F-For…” Lan Zhan starts, struggling to find his words. His eyes search helplessly for his brother and all Lan Huan can do is offer an encouraging smile and a nod for him to continue. “F-For mama…” 

“Oh, A-Zhan…” Madam Lan sighs softly, taking the flowers and admiring them. “They are beautiful. Thank you.”

There’s a beat of silence before Lan Zhan responds very quietly, “Beautiful like mama…”

“My, my. Aren’t you the charmer?” She teases, nuzzling against Lan Zhan’s reddened cheeks; to which Lan Zhan whines with slight frustration. After chuckling she turns towards her eldest son and encourages him to grab her hand, “Come, A-Huan, let’s enjoy the sunshine.”

For once, the Gentian house was full of life, something that no one other than the madam and her two sons would ever witness once every month. At least until now. Before Wei Wuxian married Lan Zhan, he never thought such thing happened, ever. Yet, here he was, witnessing a part of Lan Zhan’s life so precious and dear from the window. A mixture of joy and sadness filled his chest as he witnessed how Madam Lan held her two sons, how bright both Jades seemed to shine under her light.

He follows them outside into the small garden on the back of the house, still staying out of sight. It looks the same as it does in the present, and he wonders if Lan Zhan was the one to care for the flowers this entire time. The three of them sit down on the grass, Lan Zhan on his mother’s lap while Lan Xichen sat in front of them and talked about a little bit of everything, sparing no details of everything they’ve done during the month. All while Madam Lan is fixing Lan Zhan’s hair and retying the Lan ribbon. Lan Zhan is sitting like a statue, but his glittery eyes betray him like always; there’s no denying how happy he is to have his mother fix his ribbon. 

Wei Wuxian has never seen him this happy aside from when they’re together. 

Lan Zhan had her eyes, the same softness and warmth. The soft curve of her nose matched Lan Zhan’s… This discovery had Wei Wuxian feeling all giddy and soft.

After the small family was done being outside, they returned to the inside, and to Wei Wuxian’s surprise the Madam and Eldest Jade were running! Laughter chimed in the living room as Madam Lan ran back and forth, Lan Xichen laughing as well and chasing after her. All while Lan Zhan stood on the far corner, small fists gripping his robes and cheeks puffed up.

“N-No—“ He tried to say, but was interrupted by another bubbly laugh from Madam Lan. Still, that doesn’t deter him from trying. “No r-running! Mama and Ge are breaking the rules!”

Madam Lan can only respond to her son’s desperate attempts to implement the rules with a delightful chuckle. She swiftly picks him up in her arms once more and playfully yet gently twirls around the living space. “It seems we are!” She agrees, “Can ZhanZhan tell me what rules have we broken?”

To that, Lan Zhan nods a once, eagerly might he add. Wei Wuxian has to bite the inside of his lip in attempts to fight the smile lifting up. Seriously, always a fuddy-duddy rule abider. Lan Zhan lists at least six rules, though Madam Lan applauded and cheered for him after he was done.

“My, my! ZhanZhan did such a good job reciting the rules!” She praises before kissing his cheeks once or twice. “Xio-ZhanZhan has very good memory.”

A soft blush adorns Lan Zhan’s chubby cheeks at the praise, and it proves to be too much because the Lan is burying his face in the crook of Madam Lan’s neck. His reaction causes Madam Lan to laugh and then she proceeds to hold him tighter as she walks towards a chair next to the window where Wei Wuxian was watching from. He quickly ducks, keeping himself hidden from sight.

Humming breezes out the window, a melody he has never heard before yet it feels like home. It squeezes Wei Wuxian’s heart and melts it all at once as realization dawns on him; Madam Lan dearly loved her children. The things he had heard in passing about her were all wrong… How she was cold and uninterested about her children, how she didn’t care for them in the slightest. 

“Mama…?” he hears Lan Zhan whisper.

“Yes, my cloud?”

There’s a moment of pause, and Wei Wuxian believes either Lan Zhan decided not to speak or he spoke too quietly for him to hear. As he moves closer, Lan Zhan speaks very quietly. “I broke the rules today.”

There’s a beat or two of silence aside from the soft rustle of clothes. “Did you, now?” She gasped, intrigued at the idea that her youngest son broke the rules just because.

“Mn… I w-wanted to get pretty flowers…” Lan Zhan continues sheepishly, “But they were behind the mountain. We’re not allowed to go there.”

“Oh? Why aren’t you allowed?”

“B-Because…” Lan Zhan replies even quieter. It’s kinda hard to hear him, but Wei Wuxian is too curious! He wants to know why he wasn’t allowed to be there either! Wei Wuxian risks it all and shifts closer to the window, his nose barely aligning with the window frame. Can you really blame him? After all this time, he’s so eager to learn more about the love of his life and what type of life he led before they met. And he wants to be able to share those memories with him. “Because… the bunnies. We aren’t allowed to come close.”

Bunnies? What are the chances that Lan Zhan already knew about the bunnies behind the mountain and Wei Wuxian happened to snatch them for him! It all makes sense! In their youth, when Lan Zhan was so upset yet so willing to care for them. Wei Wuxian's first gift to Lan Zhan might’ve been one he had been wanting all along…

Madam Lan giggles quietly, “My, such a little rebel you are, ZhanZhan! Was it fun?”

“…Mn.” Lan Zhan confessed shyly after a moment. There’s more rustling of clothes, as if one of them was shuffling closer to the other. “There… There was also a spirit.” 

The chair where Madam Lan sat creaks as her weight shifts on it. “A spirit? Is that right?” The playfulness in her voice dissipates with the question. “A scary spirit?”

“No.” Lan Zhan corrects quickly, “Mischievous, but his eyes were kind. Helped me sneak around… L-Like a fox.”

Was… Was Lan Zhan talking about him? Guess it would make sense if Lan Zhan didn’t quite recognize him at this age. Though, that begs the question; what would his presence do to the memory? Wei Wuxian knows that the reason why he’s in this memory is because of the effects of the Incense Burner. Ever since their first encounter with it every once in a while either of them will enter each other’s dreams or memories. Both he and Lan Zhan had grown accustomed to it.

But going back to the fact that Lan Zhan is talking about him to the memory of his mother… that has never happened before. 

“I see.” Madam Lan hummed before exhaling softly. The cheeriness in her voice returns as she continues. “It looks like you’ve been blessed by a playful spirit! Maybe he thought you were a cute bunny and wanted to chomp your squishy cheeks!”

“Mama…!” Mumbles out exasperated as he allowed himself to be.

The chair scrapes the floor as both mother and son stand and steps soon recede away from the window. Wei Wuxian gives it a few more seconds before breathing out a sigh and peeking into the house once more. Now the three of them sat at the tea table sharing a cup of tea, well, more like Lan Zhan and his brother were having tea while Madam Lan took her medicine. Wei Wuxian knew instantly it was a medicinal brew because she scooped a few spoonfuls of honey and stirred it into the contents.

He learned that when Lan Zhan got sick.

For the next few moments, Wei Wuxian observed the Lan family interact. Lan Xichen played the Xiao for them while Madam Lan helped Lan Zhan weave a flower crown with the flowers he had collected, after having his mother teach him how to do it of course. And soon after he was done, Lan Zhan placed the flower crown on top of her head. He observed how attentive she was towards her sons, and how loving her sons were in return.

Minutes turn to hours, the bright sun soon setting behind the mountains. It broke Wei Wuxian’s heart to see both Lan’s clinging tighter and harder to Madam Lan, as they knew their time together was fast approaching to an end.

“A-Niang…” Lan Xichen starts, eyes silently speaking the words he’s afraid to utter. In response, Madam Lan pats his head and caresses his cheeks. Whipping a few stray tears.

“No need to look so sad, A-Huan.” She comforts her oldest son. “No matter what life may bring your way, I know you will always find your own path. Come, let me hold you both for a little longer.”

Lan Zhan is the first to crawl on his mother’s lap, while Lan Xichen slots himself on her side. Soon, Madam Lan starts singing a lullaby. She signs her love for her sons, the light of her eyes. How there shouldn’t be any reason to shed tears, for she will always be by their side and no harm will ever come to them. She sings how both of them are the sun to her rainy days, and how there won’t be anything in the world that could ever separate them. 

It doesn’t take much longer for the two Jades to fall asleep in her arms.

Wei Wuxian didn’t realize tears were spilling down his face. He’s quick to wipe them away, but no matter how much he did, more tears came along. He’s not sure how he ended up in this memory, but he’s glad he did. Lan Zhan… his Lan Zhan deserves to honor Madam Lan’s memory. It’s not fair that the clan has done nothing but tarnish her memory, her existence. Who cares what crimes she might’ve committed, at the end it all came to the way she held both Lan’s.

He’s not sure how long it’ll take Lan Zhan to wake up, but he knows what he’ll do as soon as they both do. Wei Wuxian starts pulling away from the window, when the Madam speaks once more. “You’ve spent enough time hiding. Why don’t you show yourself?”

Wei Wuxian freezes in place. Was there someone else around and he didn’t notice? Cause there’s no way she’s talking to Wei Wuxian, right? It simply isn’t possible— He waits a few more seconds before continuing moving away, testing to see if she speaks again.

And she does, “It is rather rude to eavesdrop, gongzi.”

Slowly, Wei Wuxian revealed himself, cheeks slightly burning with the embarrassment that came with being caught. He was going to apologize but the words died in his throat when he made eye contact with her. Madam Lan’s features remained gentle, though there was a knowing glint in her honeyed eyes. She still held on to her children, but both of them were comfortably asleep. With permission, Wei Wuxian quietly sneaks through the window. There’s no reason for pleasantries as he had been spying on them for what felt like hours. Though, now that he was interacting with her, he had no idea how to act or even say.

Guess he can always introduce himself?

“I…” he starts but quickly trails off, nerves running through his body. He looked like a bunny caught sneaking out of its burrow when he shouldn’t have.

It surprises him when Madam Lan chuckles quietly, using the sleeves of her light blue robes to cover her mouth. Then she states with a pointed look, “You’re the mischievous fox spirit which A-Zhan was speaking of.”

That's gonna stick forever, huh? He’s gonna have to ask Lan Zhan if he truly thinks of him as a fox. He stands awkwardly for a few moments before he introduces himself with a courteous bow. “Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian. Lan Furen, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry… I-I didn’t think—“

“That I’d be aware?” She finished, signaling for him to come closer. “If this was A-Zhan’s memory then maybe I wouldn’t have.”

Confusion is clear on his face. This isn’t Lan Zhan’s memory? But how? So many questions start piling in his mind, yet has no time to spill them all

“Well, this is also part of his memory.” She further explains, gaze drifting back to her boys. Delicate hands gently brush the wild strands from Lan Zhan’s sleeping face. “But I’m the main source of it. I’m not sure how this is possible. At the same time, I’m glad to finally meet you face to face.”

Realization dawns on him at her words. Does this mean he’s talking to the late Lan Furen? To Lan Zhan’s mother? “Lan Furen…” Wei Wuxian tests with caution, because what if this is a resentful spirit that has managed to infiltrate Lan Zhan’s mind? But there’s something about the way she looks at him, that twinge of sadness all too familiar adorning her honeyed eyes… “It really is you, isn’t it?” 

“Yes.” She responds simply, as if they were discussing a brand new tea flavor. “I never left like many believe. My soul remains attached to worldly things. I couldn’t simply…”

She doesn’t dare finish the sentence and Wei Wuxian holds nothing but understanding. As curious as he was to find out more, it wasn’t his business to pry. But that only means… if her spirit has remained here this entire time… Then doesn’t that mean…

“I’m not proud of my lack of action.” She seems to answer his question, “I regret many, many things. And I’m aware that I cannot fix my mistakes…” Guilt makes her voice waver ever so slightly. “This is the only way I can make up for what I’ve taken from them…”

His brows furrow, “I’m not here to pass judgment.” Wei Wuxian offers with understanding. He understands why she hasn’t revealed herself, and why she has never answered Inquiry. Yes, he knows about Lan Zhan playing after he accepted her passing. It’s the only thing he shared, because Lan Zhan confessed to doing the same when Wei Wuxian was gone. “You didn’t want to hold them back.”

She chuckles under her breath, blinking rapidly to rid of the unshed tears. He wonders if this is the first time someone has been understanding towards her. “You truly are one of a kind. No wonder A-Zhan could not stop himself from falling for you.”

Now is Wei Wuxian’s turn to feel flustered and embarrassed. If her spirit has been attached to this place then it’s no wonder she knows everything about him and Lan Zhan. After all this time, Lan Zhan didn’t really stop his monthly visits. After marrying him, Wei Wuxian would tag along every once in a while. He’d kneel in silence in front of the door right next to Lan Zhan, until it was time to go. He had even asked Wei Wuxian if he felt anything and was disappointed when he shook his head. 

Silence hangs over their heads aside from the sleep filled breathing from the two Lan’s. He didn’t know how to act or say, this was different from meeting Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen as Lan Zhan’s family members. This was his mother, the one Lan Zhan held with respect and love. The first person he had loved without restraint, because there was no need for it. Wei Wuxian leans forward and caresses Lan Zhan’s cheek in a gentle manner. 

“I must thank you, Wei Ying— Is it okay if I refer to you casually?” Wei Wuxian nods faster than he would’ve expected. He loved when Lan Zhan said his name, it always reminded him that the person that mattered the most regarded him with love and care. But hearing it being spoken so gently, it took him back to a time where water lapped gently against a gazebo on a hot summer day, and several bowls filled with freshly peeled lotus seeds. “I thank you for loving my Lan Zhan so purely and sincerely, and for bringing him so much happiness and light.”

The thanks took him off guard, it certainly wasn’t something he was expecting from the late Madam Lan… Maybe because the people close to Lan Zhan spent so long blaming him for Lan Zhan’s fall that it was the only thing he expected. “Aiya, Lan Furen… No need to thank me! Lan Zhan… He’s…”

Wei Wuxian can’t stop himself from smiling at the thought of his Lan Zhan; the love of his life. Every day Wei Wuxian counts his blessings and is grateful for being given one more chance, and Lan Zhan is sure to remind him that he is deserving of said chance. “Lan Zhan is the one who charmed his way into my heart. Everything I owe to him… He never gave up on me, even when I was too blind to see.” He exhales softly, bringing his hands up to his lap and gripping tightly at his robes. “Even when I hurt him, he still loved me…”

His vision becomes blurry for a moment and he quickly blinks his own tears away. He’ll admit that guilt still ate him away, about the Jiang, the Wen… the war, the way he treated Lan Zhan… He’s grateful for his life, but a part of him can’t help but wonder what would’ve been if he just shut up and listened… A delicate hand makes its way towards his and taps gently before gripping it tightly. Silver eyes shoot towards the woman in front of him, who gazes at him the same way his Shijie used to whenever he was trying to hide his emotions. 

“Wei Ying, dear?” Madam Lan whispers, eyes growing soft the same way Lan Zhan’s did whenever he was comforting him. “You don’t have to hide, not here.”

He nods quickly, sniffling and attempting to smile. “Aiya… I promise I-I’m cooler than this.”

“Of course you are.” She agrees with the gentlest of chuckles, “You’re the one and only Wei Wuxian, the one who attempts the impossible. A marvelous cultivator, my son’s husband.”

“Lan Furen, you flatter me! I see where Lan Zhan gets his charms.” He praised with delight, feeling himself grow lighter and comfortable.

“Oh, please. Call me Xiu XueYin.” She encouraged while shaking her head. “There’s no need for pleasantries, we’re family.” 

“Right.” He breathes a chuckle. She’s right, they are family. He really liked this… Not like Wei Wuxian didn’t like the occasional dinner with Lan Qiren but it was nice to interact with someone that didn’t look at you like you corrupted his favorite nephew and it was your fault. He takes a deep breath and lets his shoulders sag. “Xiu XueYin, Lan Zhan looks just like you. When he smiles, his eyes crease just like yours.”

“Ah, who’s the flatterer now.” She teases, leaning closer and pinching his cheeks. “But tell me, have you always looked this thin? I thought A-Zhan was taking care of you?”

Wei Wuxian tilts his head in confusion. Last time he checked, he had gained enough weight for Lan Zhan to chomp his cheek in a lovingly-aggressive manner. Unless… His eyes are drawn to his hands, and he actually looks at them. His fingers were slender than what he’s grown accustomed to. The sleeves draping over his arms and hands carry the familiar crimson-sun embroidery. 

Oh… 

Hands slowly move towards his face to feel it, fingers feeling the now unfamiliar curves and sharp edges of his jaw and cheekbones. When he feels his chest and runs into the ridges of the brand that no longer exists on his body confirms that what Madam Lan is seeing is his original body, not the one that’s sleeping soundly with Lan Zhan. Madam Lan looks at him expectantly, waiting for a response as to why his cheeks aren’t fuller. To why he looks like he hasn’t slept in ages.

“A-Ah… I forgot.” Wei Wuxian hesitates, urging himself to stop feeling the protruding bones and soon brings his hand up to scratch the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. “Whenever this happens,” he gestures at his surroundings, “It represents how my soul looks like, not my current… appearance.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… this is what I looked like… B-Before I died, that is.”

Madam Lan gasps quietly, careful not to disturb her sleeping boys. Lan Zhan fusses in his sleep, causing both Wei Wuxian and Madam Lan to hold their breath. A few seconds tick away before Lan Zhan settles once more, and with that both of them sigh with relief. Her lips purse, lines forming at the corners of her mouth with worry. Sure, she must know what happened to him, right?

“Forgive me.” She utters solemnly before releasing a soft breath, “I do not wish to bring unwanted memories. By the time I was able to witness A-Zhan’s dreams and memories… he could no longer picture your face clearly.”

The idea that Lan Zhan had forgotten what he looked like at some point punched him in the gut. It left him breathless and with an aching heart. Before Wei Wuxian had knowledge of Lan Wangji’s feelings he would’ve seen that as a blessing, but knowing that Lan Zhan had loved him from the start… “I see…” he forced himself to mutter, and forced himself just as quickly to wave away her worry. “Aiya, don’t worry about it! It’s in the past. I assure you, Lan Zhan is taking good care of me. Really, he does so much I can never keep track!”

They talk for what feels like hours. Wei Wuxian tells her more about himself. How he and Lan Zhan met the first time at the eaves of Cloud Recesses because he was a rule-breaking ruffian. He tells her how Lan Zhan saved him from the Water-borne Abyss and how he repaid the favor by gifting Lan Zhan bunnies. He really spares no details, well, at least everything that didn’t involve how he became the most feared cultivator and soon public enemy number one of the cultivation world. But Wei Wuxian does talk about the Wen, how they became Wei Wuxian’s family, and how guilt and his failure to save them still followed him in this lifetime.

Just like her, he admitted to not answering Lan Zhan’s Inquiry, though it was more because everyone wanted to destroy whatever was left of his soul. And that led him to believe that Lan Zhan hated him until the moment he ceased to exist in the mortal world.

But more importantly, he would go through it all again if it meant he’d be with Lan Zhan at the end. 

“I love him.” Wei Wuxian grinned softly, “He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. He’s my favorite fuddy-duddy! ”

Madam Lan can’t help but laugh wholeheartedly at the nickname. “I don’t have a doubt.” Once again, she leans closer and taps his cheek. “Thank you for this, Wei Ying. It’s rather nice to be part of your lives…”

That only reminds him that… they can’t really interact like this all the time. His heart constricts at the mere thought that maybe he won’t get to speak or see Xiu XueYin again… No, he refuses. Even if he wants to understand her reasons to remain hidden, Wei Wuxian simply can’t accept it… 

“Xiu XueYin… How often do you manage to pull this off? Sharing memories, I mean. What? I’m just curious!”

She gives Wei Wuxian a pointed look, one thin eyebrow raised. Her head shakes side to side but still she answers his question warily, “I can only do this once or twice. It takes an immense amount of spiritual energy to do this… I could dissipate if I’m not careful.”

The gears in his mind quickly begin to turn. If… If he could find a way to make this more of a reoccurring thing without risking her dissipating… Maybe she and Lan Zhan can finally have a moment, both of them deserve as much. At least, more than reliving an old memory. Maybe takes control over the memory, or maybe if he exposes himself to the incense burner for longer while both he and Lan Zhan are in the Gentian house then maybe she won’t have to expel so much spiritual energy…

“Wei Ying.” Madam Lan calls his name ruefully, shaking her head in mild disbelief. “Whatever you’re plotting…”

“I wouldn’t dare force you to do something you don’t want. However, I won’t stand down if I can find a way to help you reconnect with Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen.” He states, his mind made up on the idea. “I just… don’t think it’s fair to either of them that I’m speaking to you, but they haven’t had the chance.”

Her lips open and close several times, searching for an excuse to admonish the idea all together. It’s not like she doesn’t crave to reconcile with her sons and ask for forgiveness for her selfish actions. Then again, if she truly wanted to remain forgotten then she wouldn’t be so strongly attached to the place that imprisoned her for so many years. Stubborn little fox, she thinks to herself before gazing at the sleeping brothers. It truly would be nice to speak to them… Nothing else would make her happy.

At the end, Madam Lan reluctantly accepts. “You’re lucky we’re running out of time.”

To that, Wei Wuxian offers a big smile, though his chest feels heavy and bittersweet at the idea that this time is almost up. “I understand you’re scared… I-I was scared too, when I came back. I thought Lan Zhan would be the one to send me right back if he found out who I was. But he didn’t turn me in… he waited until I figured out he already knew it was me…”

She seems to consider the thought for a moment, gaze falling on her two bundles of joy. The option of revealing herself has always been tempting, especially when she caught word that her youngest son was severely punished after going against the clan. The desperation and anguish she felt deep in her core almost sent her in a frenzy, wanting nothing more to bring revenge upon those who dare touch her son. Luckily she didn’t let resentment consume her, it would do no good for her to become a fierce ghost…

“Just… Just think about it, okay?” He offers at the end. “I really don’t mean to be disrespectful against your wishes, but… I have to try.” He breathes out a quiet chuckle, “I know Lan Zhan would do the same for me.”

That statement alone is what gives Madam Lan the confidence she needs for her decision. She can’t stop herself from grabbing her son-in-law’s sleeve and tug him closer to her unoccupied side. It catches him by surprise, of course, but he doesn’t fight it. The memory of a faceless woman graces his mind, laughing cheerfully as she pulls a smaller version of him onto a donkey. There’s a red ribbon fluttering along the autumn breeze and a warm hug to chase away the chill of the coming season. 

Unsure what to do, Wei Wuxian decides to stay still as a rock, yet he can feel his eyes sting and well up with tears he dares not shed. This was nice… The embrace held so much warmth and love, and the sweet aroma of jasmine and gentians made Wei Wuxian wish he was little again. Though, if he closed his eyes, it also made him think of lotus lakes and flaming red leaves falling down a long path. He didn’t realize when he had leaned his head against her shoulder and let himself be held, nor how his arms had hesitantly snaked around her frame, careful not to disturb the two sleeping boys. A breath stutters out of his chest, expelling the heaviness the more he let himself relax in Madam Lan’s hold.

However, the thought that he didn’t deserve this shakes his mind, causing the urge to pull away grow by the second. Lan Zhan should be experiencing this first hand, not him. At least Wei Wuxian had Jiang Yanli growing up… He shouldn’t be taking advantage of this… Shouldn’t be so greedy…

“You’re my family.” Madam Lan repeats in a whisper, gentler, as if she could read his thoughts by just carding her fingers through the dark mess of locks. Actions so full of love and conviction that it makes his thoughts crumble. 

He has to make this work… He has to find a way for her and Lan Zhan to reunite… 

“You’re too kind for your own good…” Madam Lan whispers a halfhearted scold. Yet, she can’t deny the smile dancing on her lips. “Don’t overexert yourself, hm?”

He pushes a laugh past the knot in his throat, trying to not let his voice sound strained. “Leave all of that to me. You just give me a sign when you’re ready.”

Madam Lan hums, eyes growing extremely soft with affection towards her son’s husband. Her touch is gentle as she reaches over and gently smoothes out a few wild strands on Wei Wuxian’s head; the gesture similar to how his Shijie used to fix him up. A few more moments pass by before Madam Lan exhales softly, hesitant to remove her hand before whispering, “Take care, little fox.” 

He wakes with a start, shooting himself up and fast. It was still nighttime, the stillness of winter greeted him once more as he tried to make out his surroundings. The phantom touch still lingered on his head, the only traces that what he witnessed had indeed happened.

There was no time to waste, he needed to move fast!

Wei Wuxian tumbled out of the bed, forgetting completely that his harsh movements roughly woke his husband up. He’ll make sure to apologize later, but right now Wei Wuxian needed to turn a lantern on, run to his desk and search for a brush and paper.

“Wei Ying..?” Lan Wangji called with worry, quickly getting out of bed and following Wei Wuxian’s frantic movements. Worry creased his brow with deep lines as he brought all the lanterns in their home back to life. “What’s wrong?”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t answer, his focus solely on the lines he’s drawing with calculated speed. Even when Lan Wangji tries to grab his arm he moves it away. Lan Wangji winces ever so slightly, and it hurts Wei Wuxian to reject him that way, but he cannot waste a single second. Everything is still so fresh in his mind… he needs to take advantage of it! He’ll understand… It will all make sense once he’s done putting what he sees on paper. 

And Lan Wangji gives him space, throughout the whole ordeal he keeps his hands to himself and waits until Wei Wuxian gives him permission to approach. Though, the anxiety building in his chest grows faster than the brush gliding through paper. He’s never seen Wei Wuxian be so brash when it came to taking notes. He had been used to Wei Wuxian stopping and dropping whatever he was doing when ideas came to mind, or a solution to improve his inventions, but never like this. Perhaps Wei Wuxian is asleep… reliving a memory from his time in the Burial Mounds and he doesn’t realize that he’s no longer in that place…

When Lan Wangji’s patience runs thin, he anxiously approaches his husband, voice gentle as he calls his name once more.

He was expecting for Wei Wuxian to reject him once more when he abruptly lifts his head from his work. There were tears resting on his eyelashes, a trail half dry down his cheek. Worry skyrocketed through the roof, and Lan Wangji is quick to wrap his arms around him to offer all the comfort he can muster.

“Talk to me.” Lan Wangji urges quietly, holding his entire world in his arms. 

Wei Wuxian exhales sharply, frustrated, but his voice is quiet when he mutters. “It’s not perfect…”

There’s clear confusion on Lan Wangji’s face, that is until his worried eyes drift to the paper Wei Wuxian was hastily drawing on. His eyes grow wide, a mixture of surprise and sadness, and bewilderment. Despite the brush within Wei Wuxian’s grasp moving frantically with every stroke, the picture that came to life was nothing but breathtaking. A woman sat on a bench, flowers scattered on her lap in a half-weaved crown. A gentle yet radiant smile adorning her features while her gaze was fully focused on a small boy next to her, who was staring up at her with expectant, yet adoring eyes.

Lan Wangji can’t stop himself from grabbing the drawing and bringing it closer with shaking hands. The woman… her features had remained blurry and forgotten for so long that seeing them with such clarity felt like a slap to the face. 

“How…?” Lan Wangji finally asks under his breath, not quite finding his voice but desperately needing answers. Because this… The little boy is a younger version of himself, and the woman was his mother. This was the last time Lan Wangji saw his mother before she passed… 

“I saw.” Wei Wuxian’s voice cuts through the storm in his mind. It’s all he says and it’s enough of an explanation.

Ever since being exposed to the incense burner they both tend to see each other’s memories, so it’s not surprising… but what Lan Wangji can’t understand is why can’t he remember seeing Wei Ying, let alone interacting with him. 

Wei Wuxian pulls away from Lan Wangji’s embrace just enough to be able to look at him and cup his face in his hands. Thumbs rub gently yet with purpose over Lan Wangji’s features, his cheekbones, his eyes, his nose; Wei Wuxian traces all of it as if creating an illustration from them. “You have her eyes,” he starts in a whisper. “Both in color and kindness. It sharpened, but both of you share the same curve on your nose. Right here.” His fingers caress Lan Wangji’s nose, causing the other’s eyes to flutter close.

“Wei Ying…” Lan Wangji shudders under his breath.

“You carry her grace… And-and when you smile, your eyes crinkle just the same.” He points out, doing everything he can to remember every detail of that dream. “Lan Zhan… My sweet Lan Zhan, my husband.” 

Silent tears had begun falling and Wei Wuxian wiped and kissed them all away. 

“She loved you, and you loved her… and I had to…” Wei Wuxian whispers between kisses, “You deserve to remember her, properly.”

Lan Wangji nods stiffly before resting his forehead against Wei Wuxian’s. The night was still quiet. Snow began to fall outside their window but none of them felt the cold of it, not while they were in each other’s embrace.

“Let’s visit her tomorrow.” Wei Wuxian blurts out into the silence, to which Lan Wangji responds with a sharp inhale. 

“We… we already visited her for the month.” The Lan whispers ever so quietly, as if nervous to be caught with the mere idea of going to the Gentian House for a second time.

And Wei Wuxian chuckles quietly. Ah, his fuddy duddy. “I think this is another rule worth breaking, hm? Besides, how are you gonna worry about the amount of visits when you brought her flowers even if you weren’t allowed.”

Even in the darkness, Wei Wuxian can notice the warmth taking hold of his husband’s cheeks. He quickly peppers kisses on them, over and over until hands take hold of his waist and pull closer. Still, Wei Wuxian understands. He understands how it can be difficult to break from a cycle when it was all that was ingrained for a whole lifetime. 

“Sorry for scaring you…”

“Wei Ying,” The Lan reproaches gently near his ear, “No sorry’s between us.”

Wei Wuxian huffs quietly before untangling himself from his husband's hold just enough to start moving back towards their bed. However, his husband doesn’t completely budge when he pulls him, golden eyes still gazing at the illustration with nostalgia and a twinge of sorrow. “Do you want to talk about her?” He asks quietly, to which Lan Wangji responds with a soft shake of his head. It makes his heart sink, until the other speaks.

“Tomorrow. Once we go visit.”

And that’s enough for Wei Ying. Both of them return to their bed, soon laying and embracing each other. Tomorrow is a new day and he’ll make sure to give it his all, for his husband… for his family.

.

..

….

“Lan Zhan? Can you come here, please?”

His voice carried loudly through the Jingshi, and soon enough calm yet hurried steps echoed and creaked until they grew close enough for the cultivator to perk up from his work. Lan Wangji was standing right behind him, one hand gently resting on top of Wei Wuxian’s head while the other one held the book he was reading moments before being summoned. 

A soft hum slips before asking, “What do you need?”

The cultivator pats the empty space next to him, indicating his husband to take a seat next to him. Wordlessly, Lan Zhan sits on the cushion, facing the other with curiosity. He does take inventory of the controlled clutter on the table before them. Talismans of all sort stacked messily yet organized in their own way, also Night Hunt reports and a journal containing numerous notes of future inventions.

However, the page that the journal was opened on had a drawing of a very familiar incense burner. 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian starts, the tip of the brush placed against his lips. “Do you remember when we became husbands?”

Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow, “Which time?”

“Which time?” He parroted, features scrunched up in mild confusion. Before he could ask what he meant, Lan Wangji continued.

“We’ve married a total of three times.” The Lan explains calmly. “During fall, at the inn when we roamed the cultivation world. In spring time to please uncle by following tradition, and lastly a few nights ago, you asked me while I was deep in—“

“Lan Zhan!” He blurts out as he covers Lan Wangji’s mouth. Cheeks flush bright red with embarrassment at the words he knew Lan Wangji was going to say next. “Who taught you to be so shameless with your words!”

The audacity this man has! Even more so at the snugness sprinkled all over his eyes! Ah, he’s feeding sidetracked! Wei Wuxian does his best to compose himself, refocusing on the task at hand. 

Wei Wuxian uncovers Lan Wangji’s mouth but doesn't completely pull away. “Well, which one of those is your favorite?”

Lan Wangji stays silent for a moment as he thinks and considers his options. Hopefully it didn’t feel like a trick question, because it wasn’t. Wei Wuxian just needed to know because depending on the answer then it would determine his next move.

“All of them are my favorite.” Lan Wangji decides.

Of course, Wei Wuxian should’ve seen that coming and he can’t help but chuckle about it. He shakes his head softly and tries again. “You can’t do that this time. You really have to choose one.” The Lan responds with a suspicious quirk of his eyebrow, “I promise I won’t tease you about which wedding you preferred!”

Lips press together in a thin line, eyes momentarily averting from the shorter man. “Our spring wedding.” Lan Wangji replies finally, if not quietly. It did surprise Wei Wuxian that that was his response, but in all honesty he was hoping that would be his final answer. 

So Wei Wuxian stands from where his sitting, and Lan Wangji wanted to follow until a hand was placed on his shoulder. “Wait here. Oh, and close your eyes.” 

And Lan Wangji complies, though not before giving his husband a suspicious look. There’s nothing but the sound of rushing footsteps fading out into the side of the room and back. Curiosity burns under his skin, almost making his eyes flutter with the want to open them. But if there’s anything else that the Lan prides himself on, aside from bringing unimaginable joy to his husband, is how strong his restraint and discipline is. 

“Okay, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian speaks after a moment of nothing but the sound of rearranging the space around them and the smell of a familiar incense. “I want you to focus on that memory. The day we marry by Lan tradition. Focus on how you felt and what the day looked like. How it smelled like… Think of all the details you can, even the smallest ones.”

As he instructs, Lan Wangji feels his husband's hand pressing gently against his chest and then a surge of spiritual energy enveloping him with a gentleness similar to Wei Ying’s. He takes calming breaths until he feels centered and calm, picturing that beautiful day with every single detail as instructed.

It was a warm spring day, the sun graced and touched the Cloud Recesses as if the gods themselves were giving their personal blessings. His home had gone from the usual tranquil and serene monotone to being doused in reds and gold, a look that prompted celebration and prosperity. Lan Wangji remembers feeling nervous yet excited and accomplished. Despite already fulfilling their third bow not too long after Wei Ying confessed all his feelings to him, it still stirred nerves in his heart, because it was still hard to believe that after all those years the Heavens had granted him a second chance… 

Before he can continue remembering that day in detail, he feels a warm breeze caress his cheek and stir his hair enough to tickle his nose. Odd, but not so to fully distract him. They must’ve left their window fully open. However, what had Lan Wangji’s eyes fluttering open was the strong scent of lotuses. Yes, they have a small pond of lotus flowers in the back of the Jingshi but there weren’t enough of them to carry the sweet aroma so strongly.

But in all honesty, that’s the least of his worries, because the Jingshi had fully vanished and now he found himself in the middle of a path in the Cloud Recesses. The sun was shining high and bright and every tree and building were decorated with red and gold, just like…

“Lan Zhan!” He hears his beloved call, just like he had on that day. He remembers seeing Wei Ying walking towards him before their official ceremony, definitely breaking tradition but Lan Wangji could care less for it. Wei Ying looked absolutely stunning all clad in bright reds and gold. A ceremonial Lan ribbon strapped across his forehead and his hair cascading down in a mess of untamed brown locks. A healthier and happier contrast to how he looked back in times of war. 

Before he knew it, Wei Wuxian had reached him and instantly jumped in his arms and Lan Wangji was even quicker to catch him and hold him dearly and safely. They stay in each other’s embrace, holding little care for both their attires and the fact that they shouldn’t see each other before the ceremony, at this point they’ve broken so many rules and traditions this little encounter was nothing more than both of them being mischievous. However, he pulls away just enough to see his husband, because he has to ask… “Wei Ying, how? We’re not asleep…”

Wei Wuxian just giggles in response, his movements being followed by clinks and soft chimes due all the jewelry he’s wearing. “I cannot reveal my secrets, er-gege. I’m just happy it worked!” He sighs with a smile, his hands now moving to smooth out Lan Wangji’s red robes. “This memory was a good choice, I get to see you wearing something different than your Clan robes. Have I mentioned how good you look in red?”

Heat settles ever so quickly at the tip of Lan Wangji’s ears and yet he can’t help but huff quietly, smiling just a fraction. He can’t help happiness engulfing him whole, so he leans and peppers Wei Wuxian’s face with kisses, causing a joyous laugh to erupt. 

“Aiya, aiya! Lan Zhan, you can’t just kiss me out of nowhere! What if someone sees us?”

“Let them.” He answers simply, placing a deeper kiss on Wei Wuxian’s lips before continuing, “We are married.”

And, oh, Wei Wuxian melts entirely into the kiss. But it’s even quicker to recover. “Let it be known, I am the responsible one! Aiya, stop distracting me!” Finally, Wei Wuxian is the one to pull away but their hands never straying from one another.

There’s a question forming in Lan Wangji’s lips, because this is not part of the memory. After this, he remembers walking Wei Wuxian back to the Jingshi where Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning would walk him as his only family members. But now his husband guided him up a different yet very familiar path; why were they heading to the Gentian house? 

“There’s something I want to show you.” Wei Wuxian started, “A gift, if you will, because let’s be honest… hah-ah… I haven’t given you many gifts, especially for our wedding.”

Lan Wangji softens instantly, though he forces the other to stop by tugging on his hand. They stand halfway up the path, their wedding robes dance and sway with the wind, moving along the gentians littering each side of the gravel path. “Wei Ying, there’s no need for gifts. You are everything I have ever wanted.”

Wei Wuxian chuckles softly while shaking his head, “I dunno, I think you’ll change your mind once you see.”

Mysterious as always, but Lan Wangji doesn’t press. Once both of them reached the steps of the Gentian house both of them bowed in respects. Out of habit, Lan Wangji was getting ready to kneel in front of the door but his husband was quick to stop him and guid him past the steps. Now he really was confused as to what they were doing here. And to be completely honest, Lan Wangji isn’t sure if he’s strong enough to even get past the doors. Not like it would matter, the house would be empty as it has always been.

Knuckles wordlessly rasp against the door and just as Lan Wangji was going to ask what he was doing the sound of the door creaking open has him swallowing his words. Out of instinct while facing the unknown, Lan Wangji puts one arm up in a protective manner in front of Wei Wuxian, urging him to take a step back and away from the house. 

The door never opens, hasn’t opened in years. Those are facts. The only time the door ever opened was when Lan Wangji took the time to clean the house, air it out and care for the garden, but even then the door never opened. There’s so many emotions and thoughts racing through his mind: how maybe whatever Wei Ying was working on weakened their spiritual energy and now they let in a resentful spirit, or maybe his own mind and emotions are collapsing the memory. How are they supposed to wake up from this? 

He hadn't even realized when he unsheathed Bichen and now was grateful for having his spiritual sword concealed under his outer robes. The blade stands between the figure emerging from his mother’s house and him, though it clearly doesn’t pose a threat, because a hand gently rests at the very top of the blade and soon lowers it.

“My… Never thought of Xiao-ZhanZhan ever raising his sword at me.” The woman scolds lightheartedly, almost with a teasing tone, before fully emerging from the threshold.

Lan Wangji inhales sharply, stumbling backwards but quickly regaining his footing. He doesn’t understand… How is this even possible? This cannot be real, right? His mother… Cannot be here.

Can she?

Yes, Lan Wangji had wanted more than anything to honor his mother on his wedding day. He had even given Wei Ying an old hair pin that belonged to her to wear at the ceremony. He had imagined bowing to both her and his father along with his uncle, and had even hidden a gentian in his sleeve. But this? What kind of spell had Wei Ying conjured to make this possible?

And yet she stood in front of him, not as a blurry memory, but as clear as Wei Ying’s drawing. As clear as the last time he saw her. Radiant and kind, ethereal, irradiating warmth like a cozy fire in winter. Bichen clattering on the floor is what snaps him from his stupor, but even then he cannot seem to move. At least not until Wei Wuxian moved next to him instead and took a hold of his trembling hand.

“Lan Zhan.” He starts softly, squeezing his hand to get his attention. His voice is gentle but firm as he explains, “I know this is a lot, but it is her. Her spirit still remained attached to this house. No, not out of resentment… out of sorrow and her attachment to you and Lan Xichen. Her energy is weak, which explains why I didn’t sense her…”

His gaze shifts from his husband back to the woman still standing at the threshold of the Gentian house. His mother, who Lan Wangji had loved first and had loved him in return. The first person that had offered him a safe space to be himself despite the rules depicting who he should be. The first person to break his heart. 

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian calls, but is silenced when Madam Lan raises her hand. 

“It’s alright, Wei Ying. You’ve already done more than enough.” Madam Lan reassured before taking a calming breath. Hands clasp delicately in front of her, though the grip is tight with tension.

Her lips part once, twice, but no words get past them. She had thought of this moment for so long, thought of what she would say to her youngest son… and now that she had been given a chance… What was she supposed to say? 

So she tries again, searching for her courage as she bends and picks up her son’s sword. The blade is heavy yet its balance is perfect. Though, she should know better than to touch, let alone hold, a cultivator’s weapon. Madam Lan takes a few careful steps towards her son, who was still frozen in place, carefully watching her every movement. He doesn’t even react when she presents him the sword.

“You’ve grown so much, A-Zhan.” She begins quietly, pausing briefly soon after. Now that they were standing in front of each other, the height difference between them was noticeable. The thought alone makes her smile bittersweetly, “I remember when you were only but a small boy, reciting rules and telling your a-niang how bad of a rule breaker she was. And even then, sometimes you’d sneak out of your room at night and come visit…”

Lan Wangji remains quiet as she speaks, but it doesn’t go unnoticed how his knuckles turn white as his hands tighten into fists. Nor how his eyes are furiously containing that raging storm of emotions, despite his expression representing nothing but calmness. She wouldn’t be surprised if he was angry at her, wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to be associated with her… 

But she continues, because at least she is grateful for having this chance to express her sorrys and regrets. Lan Wangji doesn’t have to accept it, it’s okay if he doesn’t…

At the thought alone her voice quakes as she continues, “I… I know what I did is unforgivable. I mean… What kind of mother chooses herself over her own children…? It made sense back then… How it would be more beneficial for your development if there weren’t any distractions.”

Madam Lan takes a tentative step towards her son, testing his reaction, to which he had none. He truly resembled a cold jaded statue splattered in red. The spiritual sword trembled in her hold as she held it by the handle. 

“I believed to be best for you and your ge…” She whispers, fighting the lump in his throat to get the words out. “But… But all I did was leave you a-alone…”

The ache in her chest only grew heavier. The tears escaping and falling do nothing to ease the pain her actions caused. Truly there was nothing she could do to mend the wounds she caused, she knows this. And maybe revealing herself was a mistake, because nothing hurts more than seeing her son staring down at her. 

“I left you and A-Huan…” the words burn her throat as she continues, “And despite that… Despite that, y-you still showed up at my doorstep and waited. Stubborn child… you waited and waited in the cold, and I couldn’t hold you any longer… I couldn’t feel your warmth, nor could you feel my embrace.”

A sob ripped through her chest, and at this point she had been slowly closing the distance between them. Madam Lan hadn’t noticed she had forcefully shoved the sword in Lan Wangji’s hands. She had only noticed because she could finally feel her son. Wei Ying was right, despite the cold exterior, Lan Wangji was so warm.

“And even then… I still refused to answer your Inquiry… You became so good at playing it, at such a young age when you shouldn’t have to… I felt if I answered, I’d just hold you back.” She whispers through tears. “And how much I regret that… I regret not seeing you grow.”

Through the whole ordeal, Lan Wangji hadn’t moved an inch nor had he reacted to her words. She expected as much. At least she got to see her son in his wedding robes, marrying the love of his life. At least she got to fully see him all grown, well and, most importantly, happy. It takes everything in her to pull away and create distance.

She smiles, despite the tears cascading down her cheeks. “I’m so proud of you, A-Zhan… Proud of who you’ve become. A-And I love you. Just know that whatever you decide to do, I’ll accept the consequences...” If her son wants to dissipate her soul then so be it. At least now she was at peace…

What Madam Lan didn’t expect was for her view to be completely blocked by a broad chest, and for arms to envelop her so tightly and fiercely that it felt like she might break.

Lan Wangji’s entire frame trembled, breaths heaving shakily as he continued to wrap the idea in his had that he got a chance to hug his mother once more. He was overjoyed, but also saddened… Frustrated. It was hard for him to pinpoint what it was exactly, but none of that mattered because what did he do to be blessed not once but twice in one lifetime. What sort of heavenly grace had fallen on him not only for the love of his life to return to him, but also to be able to see his mother again…

“A-Niang…” Lan Wangji finally whispered, the words feeling so foreign in his tongue he almost felt crazy. She still smelled like jasmines and gentians, like home. He could feel her… hold her… hear her. A shudder leaves him when his mother returns the embrace.

And they stay in each other’s embrace for what feels like eternity. It ached so much, the realization of how much he truly missed to be held by his mother. The implication that he wouldn’t want to be associated with her felt like a knife to his heart. Tears soaked her robes as he let them fall freely, though soon Madam Lan is the one to pull away just enough so she can see Lan Wangji’s face. She instantly cups his cheeks, caressing and thumbing the streaming tears away. And oh… Wei Ying was right, they share the same nose. She can’t help but run her finger over it, feeling how it curves and that makes her laugh.

Her baby was all grown up.

“I love you…” Lan Wangji whispers as he leans more into the touch, his hand placed over hers as a means to remind himself that what he sees and feels is real. That this… this is his mother’s spirit. “I’m… I’m not mad, A-Niang. Never been… It does sadden me to know you haven’t been able to rest this entire time… But what truly crushes me… it’s you assuming I have any intentions to hurt you, or get rid of you.”

His voice wavers and breaks towards the end, accompanied by fresh tears brimming and falling down his cheeks. Those words alone get rid of any doubt plaguing her heart and lift the heaviness sitting on her shoulders. Her son had changed so much, grown so much… Wasn’t afraid of his emotions or speaking his truth. Madam Lan might’ve missed how he got there, but she’s here now being part of the end result.

So she takes advantage of the moment with courage, pulling her son closer and embracing him with everything she has to offer. “Goodness… I’ve never heard you speak so many words at once.” She teased lightheartedly, then a laugh bubbles out once she feels her youngest son huff against her neck. At least that hasn’t changed.

That’s when she notices that Wei Wuxian had taken a full step back to let them have their moment, but this wouldn’t have been possible without him. She urges him to come closer, not taking no for an answer, and Lan Wangji notices what she’s doing when he takes the full initiative to pull his husband into their hug. And she makes sure he’s close when she whispers “Thank you.” 

After that, both husbands resume their celebration of recreating their wedding day, only this time they do everything in the Gentian house. Bowing to Madam Lan and drinking the ceremonial tea as a sign of respect and honor to Lan Wangji’s family. Seeing her son happy and lead a life full of righteousness and kindness had always been her goal, and she knew that he had achieved that. 

For the first time in a long, long, time, she felt at ease. There was nothing more to worry about, because her little bunny was in the good and capable hands of a very loving, yet mischievous, fox.