Archive of Our Own

The playground is Christopher's idea.

Eddie would like that noted somewhere, preferably in writing like on a document that can later be presented as evidence when Buck inevitably asks him why he thought taking a four year old whose first introduction to the 118 involved climbing an electrical tower to a playground was a good decision.

It's Christopher's idea, and Eddie, distracted by the image of Buck falling from the edge of a garage roof six hours earlier, agrees to it without considering the obvious genetic and environmental risk factors involved.

In his defense, Buck had been conscious when the ambulance took him away.

He'd also been talking, which Eddie knows is hardly a reliable indicator of Buck's condition, considering he once tried to explain the entire geological history of Peru while bleeding through a bandage Hen had wrapped around his thigh, but his pupils had been equal, his breathing had been steady, and Hen had promised that the fall looked much worse than it probably was.

Probably, in this case, means Buck's left shoulder might be dislocated, fractured, or both, and the emergency department is so busy he's been waiting several hours for imaging.

It also means that Buck, pale beneath the dirt still streaked across his forehead, had caught Eddie by the wrist before the ambulance doors closed and asked him to get Theo.

"He'll be scared if I'm not there when he gets home," he had said. "Maddie has the daycare information, and Diedra knows you're on the approved list, but you have to tell him I'm okay before anybody says hospital, because last time he heard hospital—"

"I know," Eddie had interrupted gently. "I've got him."

Buck's eyes had searched his face for half a second before the panic eased out of them.
"I know you do."
...

Those 4 words repeat in his mind, while he sits on a bench beneath the weak shade of a tree and watches Theo race Christopher toward the largest play structure in the park.

well, technically, Theo races.

Christopher follows at a pace that preserves some amount of dignity, forearm crutches striking the rubberized ground in a practiced rhythm while Theo looks over his shoulder every three steps to make sure he's still coming.

"You're cheating!" Christopher calls.

"I'm running!" Theo calls back, which apparently constitutes a complete defense.

"You started before I said go."

"You were too slow."

Christopher gasps with theatrical offense, while Theo laughs so hard he nearly runs directly into the bottom of a slide.

Eddie feels his mouth curve.

The suggestion of the playground came after they picked Theo up from daycare and discovered that telling him Buck had fallen at work, hurt his arm, and needed doctors to take some pictures had produced three minutes of solemn silence followed by approximately forty seven questions.

Did he fall farther than the electrical tower?

Was there fire?

Did he bounce?

Can firefighters bounce?

Can you bounce?

Do hospitals have dinosaurs?

When Eddie explained that Buck would probably be waiting for a while, Christopher had suggested they stop at the park rather than bring an energetic four year old directly into a probably overflowing emergency room. 

So obviously he agreed because his son is smart, Theo needed a distraction, and nobody had explicitly informed him that the universe was waiting for an opportunity to punish him.
…

For the first twenty minutes, however, the decision seems inspired.

Christopher leaves his crutches beside the bottom of the structure and climbs using the wide, staggered platforms meant for smaller children, pulling himself upward with both hands and carefully controlling where he places his feet. His movements are slower and more deliberate than Theo's, his balance requiring concentration where Theo seems determined to fling his entire body at every available surface, but there is no embarrassment in Christopher's expression and no impatience in Theo's.

Theo climbs three steps, turns around, waits for Eddies son to reach him, then immediately continues.

Neither of them comments on it.

They simply move together, Chris steadying Theo when he leans too far over the railing and Theo announcing every upcoming obstacle as if Chris can't see the enormous plastic tunnel directly in front of them.

Eddie watches them crawl inside it, Theo's delighted shriek echoing through the plastic as Christopher catches his ankle, and something inside him softens until it almost hurts.
…

Christopher is fifteen now, caught in the increasingly complicated space between wanting independence and still curling into Eddie's side during movies when he thinks nobody is paying attention, but right now he plays with Theo without a hint of self-consciousness. 

When the chimd begins climbing the slide from the bottom and nearly collides with another child coming down, Christopher catches him around the waist, redirects him toward the stairs, and gives him a surprisingly accurate imitation of Buck's disappointed lecture voice.

Pff

Eddie heard that same cadence from Buck dozens of times, like for examlple, while the man in question explains to Chris why three energy drinks don't count as breakfast, and why searching the internet for symptoms at two in the morning will never lead anywhere good.

Buck helped Eddie raise him.

There is nobody else he'd trust with his son on that level, because there is nobody else who has earned it through years of scraped knees, difficult conversations, emergency contacts, science projects, nightmares, birthday parties, therapy appointments, and ordinary Tuesday evenings spent arguing about what movie they are watching.

They co-raised Christopher so thoroughly that Eddie sometimes forgets it's supposed to be unusual.
…

And now there is Theo.

The kid's been living with Buck for almost two months now.

There are locks on cabinets, foam guards on corners, a tiny table in the kitchen, and enough books about grief, foster care, preschool development, and positive discipline to qualify as a small research library. 

Buck has memorized Theo's routines while pretending he has not, learned which foods Theo refuses to eat unless they are arranged into shapes, and developed the ability to distinguish between the silence that means Theo fell asleep and the silence that means he's attempting to dismantle an electrical appliance.

He's a great dad.

But Buck doesn't call himself that. He calls himself Theo's guardian, foster parent, or, when he becomes especially uncomfortable, the 'responsible adult currently assigned to keep Theo alive'.

Theo still calls him Buck, tho the name has gradually become Bucky whenever he's delighted or trying to get something.

Eddie does not push either of them of Course.

Theo had parents who loved him, and Buck seems terrified that accepting the word dad would somehow mean replacing them rather than becoming something Theo desperately needs.

But the title doesn't matter yet.

Either way, Eddie sees the truth every time Theo reaches for Buck's hand without looking, utterly confident it'll be there, when Buck packs his lunch, when Theo climbs into his bed after a nightmare, or when Buck drops to his knees in front of him to explain why climbing the refrigerator isn't an acceptable way to reach the cereal.

What he also sees , is Buck in Theo, which is frankly... alarming.

Theo has this restless energy, complete absence of self-preservation, and his unshakable belief that anything placed above eye level is a personal invitation.

But he also has an enormous heart, tho that part may be less genetic than learned, because the kid began copying the way Buck checks on everyone around him. 

He asks Eddie whether his back hurts after carrying groceries, brings Christopher his crutches before anyone requests them, and pats Buck's cheek when he thinks he looks sad.
…

Today, nature and nurture appear to have joined forces specifically to destroy his blood pressure.

"Chris, look!"

Eddie glances up from his thoughts and immediately feels every muscle in his body lock.

Theo has reached the highest section of the structure.

He stands on a narrow platform behind a protective railing, which should be safe, except he's no longer content to remain on the platform, seeing as he grabbed the overhead bars extending beyond it and is pulling himself upward, while he attempts to climb on top.

"Theo, stop," Christopher calls, the laughter vanishing from his voice.

Theo looks down at him with a grin.
"I'm taller than you!"

"You're going to fall!"

"I'm not falling." He says while one foot slips.

Eddie is already standing.
"Theo," he calls, keeping his voice calm because startling a child who is several feet above the ground seems counterproductive. "I need you to come down now."

Theo looks toward him, still hanging from the bars.
"But I'm climbing."

"I can see that, and you climbed very high, but those bars aren't made for sitting on. Please come down the same way you went up."

"Okay, Eddie."

Relief barely has time to enter Eddie's body, before Theo releases both hands.

Oh come on.

For one impossible second, Eddie sees him suspended in the air, his small body dropping toward the ground while Christopher shouts his name from above.

Shit

Theo lands with both arms extended.

His knees hit next, and then the rest of him folds onto the rubber surface with a dull sound that punches every ounce of air from Eddie's own lungs.

"Theo!"

Eddie reaches him so quickly he doesn't even remember crossing the distance.

Behind him, Christopher is scrambling down the structure, but his attention narrows around the small boy pushing himself upright with a stunned expression.

Fuck.

Buck trusted him.

He trusted Eddie with the most fragile, unexpected, precious part of his life, and he managed to break Theo within two goddamn hours.

Theo's mouth opens and Eddie instinctively braces for a scream, but-

"Eddie, did you see how high I was?" He says, filled with pride, but then Theo tries to move his left arm and his excitement fractures into a sharp cry.

"Ahhh, it hurts!"

"I know, buddy, and I need you to keep it still for me." Eddie drops to both knees, his hands already moving with the automatic precision of years spent responding to emergencies. "Look at me, Theo. Did you hit your head?"

Theo's lower lip trembles, but he shakes his head.
"My arm hurts."

"I know. I'm going to check it okay? I need you to tell me where it hurts the most."

Christopher reaches them and lowers himself carefully onto the ground, his breathing uneven from the hurried climb.
"Is it broken?"

"I don't know yet," Eddie says.

He runs gentle fingers along Theo's shoulder and upper arm, watching for any reaction, then checks his elbow before moving toward the wrist. There is no obvious deformity, and Theo can wiggle his fingers when Eddie asks, but swelling is already beginning along the lower forearm.

Eddie checks his circulation, presses lightly around the joint, and stops when Theo whimpers, the sound going through him like a blade.

"I was so high up," Theo repeats, but tears have begun sliding down his cheeks now. "I was higher than Christopher."

"You were," Christopher agrees, reaching out to wipe one of the tears away with his thumb. "You were also told to climb down."

"I did come down."

"You jumped."

The kid looks genuinely confused by the distinction.

That's so Buck.

Eddie draws a slow breath to calm himself.
"Why did you jump, Theo?"

Theo sniffles, cradling his injured arm against his chest.
"I wanted to be like Buck."

Of course he did.

Eddie closes his eyes briefly, because there is no appropriate response to learning that Buck's alarming legacy has already been passed to the next generation.
…

When he opens them again, Christopher is biting the inside of his cheek so hard that Eddie can see the effort it takes to keep from laughing.

"This is not funny," Eddie warns.

Christopher nods, even tho his shoulders are beginning to shake.
"He saw Buck fall off a roof, and his first thought was that he should try it too."

"He didn't see Buck fall tho."

"Right, but the basic principle remains the same."

Theo looks between them.
"Buck falls from things."

"Yes," Christopher says. "He does that a lot."

"We're not encouraging this, Chris." Eddie says.

"I was agreeing with you."

"You were smiling."

"I can agree happily tho."

Eddie decides that arguing with his teenage son while a preschooler nurses a possibly fractured arm is unlikely to improve the situation, so he takes his phone from his pocket and checks the nearest emergency department even tho he already knows where they're going.

And Buck's there too.

Dammit.

Without permission he imagines himself walking into the hospital and explaining that Theo was injured while under his supervision, and his stomach turns so violently it makes him nauseous.

Buck will understand... He understands children get hurt and personally supervised enough of Christopher's accidents to know that even constant vigilance can't prevent all of them.

But that doesn't stop the shame from crawling beneath his skin anyways.
"I think we need to get an X-ray," he says, keeping his voice gentle for Theo. "Your arm is starting to swell."

Theo's eyes widen.
"Like Buck?"

"Possibly."

"Can we get matching casts?"

"That's definitely Buck's kid," his son mutters.

Eddie gives him a look, making Chris lift both hands.
"I'm only saying what everyone is thinking."

—————

The drive to the hospital takes twelve minutes, but it feels significantly longer.

Theo sits in the back beside his son, his arm supported on a folded sweatshirt while Christopher keeps him distracted by asking whether he wants a red cast, a blue cast, or one decorated with firetrucks.

Theo decides he wants flames, to which Chris tells him that Buck will probably want flames too.

Eddie grips the steering wheel more tightly.
"Nobody is getting matching flame casts until a doctor confirms that either of them needs one."

"You are ruining their bonding experience," Christopher defends.

"I'm trying to preserve what remains of my sanity."

"You should have thought about that before becoming friends with Buck."

Oh wow.

Eddie catches Christopher's grin in the rearview mirror and feels some of the pressure in his chest ease. His son is calm, Theo is no longer crying, and he knows enough to recognize that the injury is painful without appearing immediately dangerous.

But it doesn't mean he stops rehearsing what he'll say to Buck.

I'm sorry.

I looked away for thirty seconds.

I told him to climb down.

I should have stood closer.

I should have known what he'd do.
…

I should have remembered whose child he is.

Well... that last one seems a bit unfair but it most likely remains true.

—————

The emergency department is still crowded when they arrive, and Eddie gets Theo through the doors with Christopher walking close beside them.

At the front desk, the receptionist passes him a clipboard thick enough to qualify as a blunt weapon.
"Relationship to the patient?"

Eddie looks down at the form.

Uhh...

Well, he's not Theo's legal guardian, or foster parent, nor is he related to him, despite the fact that Theo has eaten dinner at Eddie's house four nights this week, keeps a pair of pajamas in the bottom drawer of Christopher's dresser, and has recently begun demanding that Eddie cut his sandwiches the same way Buck does.

"Emergency contact," Eddie says.

The receptionist glances at the authorization attached to Theo's file and nods.

Eddie takes the clipboard to a nearby counter while Christopher leads Theo toward two empty chairs.
...

He completed the first page and half of the second when a familiar voice rises from the waiting area behind him.
"What are you doing here?"

Oh fuck

Eddie's heart slams hard against his ribs as he turns.

Buck sits three rows back wearing his uniform pants and Shirt beneath an unzipped hoodie someone must have brought him from the station. His left arm is secured tightly against his body in an immobilizer, and bruising has begun to spread beneath the edge of his collarbone, and staring at them with an expression caught between confusion and alarm.

Theo lights up.
"Bucky, look!"

He starts forward with the clear intention of launching himself directly into Buck's lap, but stops two steps away as though suddenly remembering he has something important to demonstrate.

He raises his swollen arm.
"I fell from high up!"

Oh God.

Eddie considers several options.

He could turn around and leave the hospital.

He could change his name.

He could move back to Texas, tho his parents would somehow hear about this within forty-eight hours and ask why he allowed a four year old to jump off playground equipment in the first place.

He could also step directly into oncoming traffic, which feels dramatic but proportionate.
…

Buck's entire expression blanks as he pushes himself to his feet.
"You did what?"

"I climbed all the way to the top, and Eddie saw me."

Please, someone kill me.

Theo sounds proud of this.

Eddie would like the floor to open beneath him.

Buck crouches carefully, his injured arm remaining fixed against his torso while his good hand moves over Theo with quick, practiced gentleness.

"Did you hit your head?"

"No."

"Did you cry?"

"Only a little."

"He cried a normal amount," Christopher supplies.

Buck examines Theo's fingers, then carefully supports his wrist, to which he winces and Buck's  eyes snap toward Eddie.

Okay here we go.

Eddie takes three steps forward, clutching the clipboard against his chest like a shield.
"He climbed onto the overhead bars. Christopher told him to stop, and I told him to come down, but apparently he interpreted that as permission to take the fastest possible route to the ground."

"I jumped just like you," Theo tells Buck.

Buck stares at him.
"Why would you jump like me?"

"You fell off the roof."

"I didn't do that on purpose!"

Theo considers this new information.
"You still went really high."

Christopher bites back a strangled sound.

Eddie understands the impulse.
"I checked him at the park," he continues, each word coming faster now because if he doesn't explain everything immediately, the guilt might strangle him. "There is no visible deformity, his circulation is good, and he can move his fingers, but the swelling started within a few minutes. It could be a sprain, but it could also be fractured, and I'm sorry, Buck. I should have been closer to him. I saw him climb, and I stood up, but I thought he was going to come down the way he went up, because he said he would, and then he just... let go."

"Eddie."

"You trusted me with him, and I let him get hurt."

Buck's expression softens as he rises carefully and steps closer, still keeping his good hand around Theo's uninjured shoulder.

"I trusted you to take care of him, not to suspend the laws of physics."

"Right, but I should have caught him."

"You told him to come down."

"I did."

"Then this isn't your fault."

"It happened while he was with me, Buck."

"Uh-huh... Christopher's been injured while he was with me, you know."

Smartmouth.

"That's different."

"It really isn't."

"It's a little different," Christopher says. "Most of my Buck related injuries involved natural disasters."

Buck points at him with his good hand.

"You're supposed to be helping you Little devil."

"I'm helping Dad understand that this is obviously your fault."

"My fault?"

Christopher gestures toward Theo.
"He jumped because he wanted to be like you. That's your blood, Buck."

Buck's mouth falls open in shock and Eddie has to  look down quickly, because laughing now would undermine the severity of the situation... but Christopher is entirely correct.

"I was a sperm donor," Buck protests. "I didn't donate the impulse to jump off things."

"You clearly did," Christopher says.

"That's not how genetics work!"

Theo tugs gently on Buck's hoodie.
"Can we get the same cast?"

Buck looks down at him.
"I don't have a cast."

"You can get one."

"That's not how hospitals work."

Theo frowns.
…

Eddie studies Buck more closely now that the immediate panic has eased enough to let him see beyond Theo's arm.

His face is drawn with pain, and there are deep shadows beneath his eyes. The immobilizer keeps his left arm completely still, but tension runs through the rest of his body as he compensates, his shoulders uneven and his movements careful.

"What are you still doing out here?" Eddie asks. "You got here hours ago."

Buck shrugs with his uninjured shoulder.
"I'm not a priority."

Not a priority?

"You fell off a roof."

"I fell onto a balcony beneath the roof."

"You fell almost twelve feet."

"There are people here with actual emergencies, and radiology is backed up. They gave me pain medication, made sure I wasn't bleeding internally, and told me to wait for an X-ray."

"Which you have been doing alone?"

"Chim stayed until they cleared my neck, but the captain eventually has to return to the station he allegedly runs, don't you think?"

"He absolutely does not run it," Christopher says.

Buck nods, grinning a bit.
"I told him that too"
...

A nurse steps into the waiting area holding a tablet.
"Evan Buckley?"

"That's me."

The nurse approaches, glancing at the immobilizer.
"They are ready for you in radiology."

"Great." Buck looks down at Theo, then toward the clipboard in Eddie's hands. "Could you image his arm too?"

The nurse pauses.
"He'll need to be triaged and registered first."

"We are almost finished with the forms," Eddie says. "He has swelling and tenderness in the left forearm after a fall onto an outstretched hand."

The nurse bends slightly to look at Theo, who demonstrates his injury with all the enthusiasm of someone presenting a school project.

"I jumped from very high!"

"I  heard that," she says, her mouth twitching. Then she looks from Theo to Buck. "Your son?"

Buck stills.

Eddie feels his own breath catch. He watched Buck retreat from that word for two months, treating it like something he hasn't earned and might somehow steal from people who are no longer here to defend it.

But Theo looks up at him trustingly and Buck's good hand settles against the back of his head.
"Yeah," he says, almost too quiet at first. "It seems like my son needs an X-ray too."

Warmth unfurls through Eddie's chest so quickly it leaves him lightheaded.

My son.

The nurse glances toward the radiology doors and then back at the crowded waiting room.
"Let me ask whether they can fit him in. I'll be right back."

Buck releases a slow Breath as she dissapears through the double door, then begins explaining the difference between X-rays and live Imaging to Theo, while Eddie watches him for several seconds before the guilt rises again.

"Buck, I really am sorry."

"Eddie."

"I know you said it isn't my fault, but you asked me to look after him, and then I brought him to the same emergency room where you're already waiting because he copied your worst personality trait."

Buck huffs.
"My worst personality trait isn't falling."

"No, it's believing gravity is a suggestion."

Chris Snickers behind him, and Buck smiles, but his gaze remains on Eddie.
"I meant what I said before they took me in, you know."

His grip tightens around the clipboard as Buck steps closer. 
"There is no one I trust with him more than you either."

That—

Eddie's heart forgets how to beat properly, and heat climbs from beneath the collar of his shirt and spreads across his face, embarrassingly obvious and completely beyond his control. 

Buck just took the words Eddie once gave him during one of the worst moments of their lives and... returned them

There is no one I trust with him more than you either.

Either.

Christopher and Theo.

Buck and Eddie.

Two boys they have somehow begun raising together, years apart and through circumstances neither of them could have predicted.

Eddie opens his mouth, but he has no idea what he intends to say, and the nurse returns before he can discover it, accompanied by a doctor who scans the nearly completed form Eddie hands over.

"We can make an exception," the doctor says. "Radiology can take Mr. Buckley first and then image the kid immediately afterward."

Before Eddie can stop him, Buck bends and slides that arm around Theo's waist, who gives an excited squeal as Buck lifts him against his good side and adjusts him securely on his hip without disturbing either injured arm.

"Buck."

"I have him."

"You're impossible."

Theo curls his uninjured arm around Buck's neck, his earlier tears forgotten now that he and Buck are apparently embarking on a shared medical adventure.

"We're getting bone Pictures!" he announces.

Buck looks toward Christopher and Eddie, an exhausted, crooked grin spreading across his face.
"We'll be right back."

Theo mirrors the grin so perfectly that Eddie almost laughs.
"We will get matching pictures!"

"That's not quite how matching works," Buck tells him as the nurse leads them toward the double doors.

They disappear into radiology together, Buck moving carefully with Theo held close against him. Christopher watches the doors close.

His pulse is still too fast, his face still warm, and something enormous is shifting into place inside him, like a final puzzle piece.
…

Chris looks between the doors and him, amusement pulling at his mouth. 
"So that man is your emergency contact?"

Eddie laughs and shakes his head as he looks at Chris.
"He's yours too, you know."

His son leans back dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest as if Eddie just delivered devastating news. 
"Wow. So neither of us is surviving anything."

Wow indeed.

He's looking at a chaotic future, apparently, filled with emergency rooms and reckless children plus Buck.

Eddie wants it anyway.

He wants Christopher rolling his eyes while Theo copies everything he does and Buck reaching across the dinner table and stealing food from his plate while insisting he's setting a good nutritional example.

He wants scraped knees, school mornings, bedtime stories, teenage arguments, preschool disasters, and every ridiculous hospital visit that comes from raising two boys who have inherited entirely too much courage from the man Eddie loves.

This is what he wants.

All of it.

All of... them.

Oh—

He loves Buck.

Eddie's heart, already moving too quickly after the last several minutes, gives one violent beat that seems to strike the inside of his chest before stumbling into a rhythm better suited to sprinting into a burning Building.

He loves Buck.

He probably loved Buck for years.

There should be panic attached to that realization, he thinks. Something fundamental inside him should reach backwards through every relationship, every Argument and every moment of jealousy he refused to examine too closely.

But nstead of shock, there is an almost unbearable sense of recognition.

Of Course.

The answer has been sitting in front of him for years, stealing food from his plate, helping Christopher with homework, falling asleep on his Couch and turning up at his door without being asked.

"Dad?"

Christopher's voice cuts through the roar of blood in his ears, making Eddie blink and find his son studying him with narrowed eyes, and concern replacing the amusement that had been there a moment ago.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Christopher continues staring at him and Eddie clears his throat attempting to make his expression resemble that of a man who hasn't just realized that he's in love with his best friend while said best friend and his biological child are getting X-rays.

It apparently does not work.

"You look weird," Christopher says.

"Thank you."

"Your face is red."

"It's warm in here."

Christopher glances pointedly toward the air vent above them, which is blowing hard enough to move the corner of a magazine on the table.

"Sure."

Eddie rubs a hand over the back of his neck, but that only makes him more aware of the heat gathered there.

He should probably sit down before Christopher starts asking questions he hasn't figured out how to answer, so he lowers himself into the chair beside him and stretches his legs into the narrow space between rows.

The radiology doors remain closed.

Buck is on the other side with Theo, probably explaining the skeletal system in enough detail, the technician will either offer him a job or ask security to remove him.

Eddie wants to see him again with an intensity that feels ridiculous considering Buck disappeared less than two minutes ago.

Christopher follows his gaze.
"We can go home." 

Eddie drags his attention away from the doors. 
"We could."

"Yeah, but we're not going to."

"No, we're not."

They look at each other, the decision requiring no discussion at all.

The Diaz boys are waiting for the Buckleys.
…

Christopher settles farther into his chair.
"Besides, they can't be trusted alone."

Eddie lets out a quiet laugh. 
"Buck is a trained first responder."

"Buck is the reason Theo jumped off the bars in the first place."

"Right, but he didn't tell him to do that."

"He inspired him."

"That's worse."

"Exactly."

Eddie shakes his head, but Christopher's smile is already pulling one from him.
…

"You're going to stay at Buck's tonight, aren't you?" Christopher asks.

...

"I was thinking about it."

Christopher's eyebrows lift as of Eddie has just confirmed something painfully obvious.

"They probably need help," Eddie continues, trying to sound practical. "Buck's shoulder is injured, and Theo might have a fracture. Depending on what the X-rays show, they could both have only one functioning arm by the time they leave."

"So we're having a sleepover."

"I said I might stay to help."

"Which means we're having a sleepover."

Eddie turns toward him. 
"You have your own bed at home."

"I also have pajamas at Buck's."

"You have one shirt and a pair of sweatpants there because you spilled an entire bowl of soup on yourself."

Christopher shrugs, entirely unconcerned with this distinction. 
"We can stop at home first."

Eddie studies him more closely.

Christopher spent an extraordinary amount of time with Theo during the last two months, at Buck's house, at theirs, during trips to the zoo and the beach, and through one deeply unfortunate afternoon in which Theo discovered that Christopher's crutches made excellent extensions for a blanket fort.
…

Still, Christopher is fifteen, and Theo is four.

Eddie doesn't want his son to feel obligated to sacrifice his weekend because the adults around him collected too many injured limbs.

"You really want to stay over?" he asks. "You don't have to. I can take you home first."

Christopher's expression softens as he looks toward the radiology doors.
"Obviously I want to stay."

"Obviously?"

"I like Theo."

"I know you do."

"I've only known him for two months, but..." Christopher hesitates, his fingers tapping lightly against the handle of one of his crutches. "He's kind of like a little brother to me."

Oh Chris.

He watched his son wipe tears from Theo's cheek, distract him during the drive, and promise to help decorate a cast Theo didn't even have yet.

Buck helped Eddie raise Christopher, and somewhere during the last two months, Christopher has already started helping Buck raise Theo as well.

Eddie reaches across the small distance between them and pulls Christopher into his side, who leans against him with only a token complaint.

"All right," Eddie says, pressing a kiss against his hair. "We'll take care of the crazy Bucklings."

Christopher laughs. 
"Bucklings?"

"Baby bucks."

"I know what it means."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because you soproud weirdly proud of yourself."

"Well, I was proud of myself."

"You really shouldn't be."

Before Eddie can defend the quality of his wordplay, the radiology doors swing open, followed by Theo appearing with a bright smile, his left arm held carefully against his stomach, encased from his knuckles to just below his elbow in a bright red cast.

Buck emerges a second later, who has somehow acquired an equally bright red cast on his left arm, also smiling.

Of Course.

Eddie's heart immediately speeds up again, because apparently seeing Buck after a separation of less than fifteen minutes is now enough to create a medical event of its own.

Christopher makes a triumphant sound beside him.
"I knew it."

Theo spots them and breaks into a run, the nurse reaching after him before seemingly deciding that preventing this particular child from moving quickly is beyond her current salary.

"Eddie! Christopher! Look!"

He skids to a stop in front of them and thrusts his cast forward, Eddie gently catching him by the uninjured shoulder before he can collide with Christopher's knees.

"I see it."

"It's red!"

"It certainly is."

"Buck has the same one."

Buck approaches more slowly, his sling held close against his body.
"It's nott the same," he says. "Theo has a fracture. I have a nondisplaced... uh... distal radius fracture, along with a shoulder sprain and enough bruising to make sleeping an exciting new challenge."

Theo turns toward him.
"They're matching."

Buck looks toward Eddie as if expecting support.

Well...

"They are."

"Betrayal from every direction," Buck mutters.

Theo begins bouncing on his toes, which causes all adults within sight to tense.
"I can put firetruck stickers on it, and Christopher can draw flames."

"You can draw flames," Christopher says. "It's your cast."

Theo raises his injured left arm, then his uninjured right one, staring between them as the flaw in the plan slowly becomes apparent.

"But I'm Right handed."

Christopher waits long enough to let him consider the tragedy before sighing dramatically.
"I guess I'll have to draw them for you."

Theo beams.
"Can you make them go all the way around?"

"I can make them come from the bottom like your arm is on fire."

"Yes!"

Buck stops beside him, close enough that the warmth of his body registers through the thin space between them and Eddie looks down at the cast again.

"You want stickers too?"

Buck turns his head slowly.
"Ha ha, Eddie. Very funny."

"I think a small ladder truck would suit you."

"My cast is temporary."

"So is his."

"My point is that I'm an adult."

Eddie glances toward the identical cast on Theo's arm.
"Debatable."

Buck's eyes narrow, but the effect is undermined by the smile fighting at the corner of his mouth and the sight of it makes his pulse race for the third time in ten minutes.

This might become a problem.
…

The doctor steps out behind them and explains that Theo has a stable fracture that should heal quickly, while Buck's fracture is clean and doesn't require surgery, provided he follows the discharge instructions, keeps the arm immobilized, and refrains from using it.

She looks directly at Buck during the final requirement, who appears offended by the implication.

To be honest, Eddie understands her completely.
…

Once the paperwork is signed and follow-up appointments have been scheduled, Eddie gathers both sets of instructions and puts them into his own jacket pocket before either Buckley can lose them.

Then he turns toward Buck.
"Listen, it's the weekend, and since both of you are now sort of incapacitated, how about Chris and I come over for the night?"

Theo doesn't require time to consider the offer.
"Sleepover!"

His shout turns several heads in the waiting room.

Christopher grins. 
"That's what I said."

"You can sleep in my room," Theo tells him.

"I don't think your bed is big enough."

"You can sleep on the floor."

"Generous."

"We can make a fort."

"Absolutely."

Buck looks between the two boys before returning his attention to Eddie, as, for one brief moment, something vulnerable enters his expression, almost hidden beneath the exhaustion and lingering medication.

"You don't have to do that. I can manage."

"I know."

As Buck studies him, Eddie wonders whether his realization has somehow become visible, and the words I love you are written across his forehead..

But Buck's shoulders ease.
"Okay," he says quietly. "Yeah, that would be... that would be really good."

Eddie smiles at him.
"Then let's get you home."

—————

Getting two injured Buckleys, one teenager, two sets of discharge paperwork, three bags, one pair of crutches, and a bottle of prescription pain medication into Eddie's truck requires more strategic planning than several rescue operations he has participated in.

Buck objects when Eddie opens the passenger door for him.
"I can get into a car."

"Then get into it."

"You don't need to hover."

"I'm not hovering."

"You have one hand on my back the whole time."

"I'm making sure you don't hit the cast against the door."

Theo leans forward from the back seat.
"Eddie helped me too."

Buck looks over his shoulder. 
"That doesn't help my argument."

"I know," Theo answers cheerfully.

Eddie waits until Buck is seated before pulling the seat belt across him, because reaching for it with his right hand would require twisting his injured shoulder.

Buck goes very still, as their faces are suddenly close while Eddie leans across his chest with one hand braced beside his hip.

He smells like antiseptic, Eddie notices, smoke, and the faded remnants of whatever soap he used that morning.

No, Not here.

Eddie hears the belt click into place, but he remains there half a moment longer than necessary.

He's—

But then Buck's eyes flick briefly toward his mouth and Eddie straightens so quickly he nearly hits his head against the doorframe.

"Comfortable?"

Buck clears his throat. 
"Sure."

Christopher makes a suspicious humming sound from the back seat as he closes the passenger door and walks around the front of the truck, using the few seconds out of their sight to force air into his lungs.

He needs to get himself under control.

He can't confess his love to Buck in a hospital parking lot while two children discuss whether flames should be drawn realistically or "like cartoons, but dangerous."

That would be irresponsible.

And... it might also cause Buck to fall out of the truck.

—————

The pain medication gradually wins about halfway on the way to Buck's house.

His head begins to tip toward the window, jerks upright, and then lowers again several minutes later. Eddie keeps glancing toward him at red lights, watching the tension slowly leave his body as sleep pulls him under.

At the final intersection tho, Buck's head rolls toward him instead, sleeping with his cheek turned toward him, his mouth slightly open and his injured arm protected against his chest.

There is something painfully tender about the trust involved here, because Buck has never been particularly good at resting when he believes someone else needs him, but he surrendered now… without argument, certain that Eddie will get all of them home.

He so badly wants to reach across the console and touch him, but reason keeps both hands on the steering wheel.

—————

When they pull up outside Buck's house, Theo announces their arrival loud enough to wake half the street making Buck startle upright.

"I'm awake."

"You were snoring," Christopher says.

"I don't snore."

"You sounded like Denny's lawn mower."

"Why do you know what Denny's lawn mower sounds like?"

Christopher shrugs. 
"Long story."

—————

By the time everyone is inside, the adrenaline that carried Theo through the hospital has begun to drain away.

His excitement over the cast lasts through the removal of his shoes and the careful arrangement of pillows on the couch, but the energy fades while Eddie orders dinner.

Buck closes the refrigerator.
"We're ordering food."

"I can make pasta."

"No thank you, I would actually like us to survive the night."

"My cooking is fine, Buck."

"Your cooking is tolerated because people love you."

Eddie's thumb freezes above his phone, but Buck appears unaware of the effect of the statement, already attempting to open a bottle of water by trapping it between his elbow and his ribs.

Eddie takes it from him.

"Hey." Buck protests.

"You were going to drop it."

"I had a system."

"Your system was terrible."

Eddie twists the cap open and hands the bottle back to Buck. who  accepts it with a muttered complaint, but the expression in his eyes is warm.
…

They settle on pizza, garlic bread, and enough side dishes to account for Theo changing his mind about what he wants the moment the food arrives.

While he and Chris begin gathering blankets in the living room, Eddie follows Buck into his bedroom.

"You don't need to help me change."

"I didn't say I was going to help you change."

"Then why are you following me?"

"Because you almost walked into the coffetable."

"The medication makes me a little dizzy."

"Which is why I'm following you."

Buck opens his bedroom door and stops beside the dresser.

The hoodie remains draped awkwardly over his shoulders, his right arm through one sleeve and the left side hanging loose around the sling.

Eddie waits.

Buck tries pulling the right sleeve over his hand, but the movement shifts the fabric across his injured shoulder and pain immediately tightens his jaw.

"Let me," Eddie says.

Buck exhales through his nose. 
"I hate this."

"I know."

"I can usually take off my own clothes, you know."

"That's an impressive skill."

He steps closer and carefully pulls the hoodie away from Buck's injured side, supporting the cast while easing the fabric around the sling.

Eddie can feel the warmth radiating from him, and he forces his attention onto the practical details, the placement of the cast, the line of the sling and the need to avoid pressing against the bruising beneath Buck's collarbone.

Once the injured arm is free, he draws the other sleeve down and lifts the hoodie away.

Buck stands in front of him wearing a soot-streaked station shirt and his hair disordered from hours in the hospital

...

He never looked more beautiful.

Eddie nearly drops the hoodie At the thought.
…

"Thanks," Buck says softly.

"Yeah."

Eddie folds it because his hands need something to do, but Buck reaches toward the hem of his uniform shirt.

"Don't."

"I need to change this too."

"You can barely reach the buttons."

"I have another hand."

Buck attempts the first one anyway, catching it between his fingers and tugging at it until the fabric pulls painfully across his injured shoulder.

Eddie steps closer.
"Stop proving my point."

"I almost had it."

"Sure... and you almost dislocated something else."

Buck lets his hand fall with a frustrated Breath as Eddie reaches for the top button of his station shirt.

What am I doing.

Eddie's fingers rest against the fabric just beneath Buck's throat, close enough to feel the unbearing warmth of his skin once more while Buck watches him with an expression that makes the already limited space between them feel considerably smaller.

Lord almighty.

Eddie lowers his gaze and begins working through the buttons, keeping his movements practical, tho that becomes increasingly difficult as more of Buck's chest is revealed beneath his hands. 

Bruising spreads beneath his collarbone and along his ribs, darkening against his skin, and Eddie has to fight the urge to trace every mark and reassure himself that none of them are worse than the doctors claimed.

Buck remains unusually quiet.
…

Once the final button is open, Eddie gently eases the shirt from his uninjured shoulder, then supports the cast while sliding the other sleeve down without pulling against the sprain.

Buck exhales when the fabric finally comes free.
"Thanks," he says softly.

"Yeah."

Eddie folds the shirt because his hands need something to do and places it on the dresser before opening the top drawer.

He finds a loose button-down pajama shirt and holds it up.
"At least you planned ahead."

"I bought that after the ladder truck."

"Which ladder truck?"

Buck considers the question.
"That probably proves your point."

Eddie helps him into the pajama shirt injured arm first, guiding the sleeve carefully over the cast before settling the fabric around his shoulders. Then he begins fastening the buttons again, his knuckles brushing Buck's chest with each one, the air between them Feeling electric.

I'm gonna pass away here.

The intimacy of it presses against Eddie from every direction.
…

A small cry rises from downstairs then, and Buck turns immediately.

"Theo?"

He moves toward the door, but Eddie catches his uninjured arm before he can rush down the stairs while dizzy.
"Slowly."

They reach the living room to find Theo sitting in the center of the couch, his injured arm held against his chest while tears roll silently down his cheeks.

Christopher kneels in front of him, speaking quietly.
"It started hurting more," he tells them.

Buck lowers himself beside Theo immediately, despite the difficulty of doing so with one arm.
"Hey, buddy."

Theo's mouth crumples.
"It hurts, Bucky."

"I know."

He opens his right arm, letting the child crawl into him, careful of their casts as he presses himself against Buck's chest and the first sob escapes.

"I've got you. The doctor said it would hurt more when the medicine they gave you started wearing off, remember?"

"I don't like it."

"Yeah, neither do I."

"Yours hurts too?"

"Yup, but we're going to take our medicine, keep the casts still, and let our bones do their jobs."

Theo sniffles against his shirt.

"Can bones fix themselves?"

"They're extremely good at it. Your body is already working on it."

Eddie retrieves Theo's medication and checks the dosage against the instructions twice before handing it to Buck, who helps Theo swallow it with water.

Christopher sits beside them.
"The flames will make it heal faster," 

Theo looks at him through wet lashes. 
"Really?"

"... No, but they'll look cool while it heals."

That earns them a watery smile.

Buck's voice grows quieter.
"I need to be a better example."

Eddie leans forward.
"You taught him to be brave, Buck. He's four. He's still learning the difference between brave and completely insane."

Christopher makes a sound of Agreement.
…

"And that distinction can be difficult when your primary role model is Evan Buckley," he adds.

"Are you helping or insulting me?"

"Both."

Theo rests his head beneath Buck's chin.
"I won't jump again."

Buck strokes his hair. 
"Thank you."

"Can I can still climb?"

"We'll discuss that after your arm heals."

"Can I climb low things?"

"Theo."

"Very low things?"

Buck looks toward Eddie with a helplessness that nearly makes him laugh.

"Welcome to parenthood," Eddie tells him.

—————

Theo has eaten two bites of the ordered pizza, half a piece of garlic bread, and all the cheese removed from Christopher's second slice before falling asleep against Buck's side.

Eddie carries him upstairs because Buck can't.

Theo curls into him without waking, his red cast resting against Eddie's shoulder as he lowers him into bed and pulls the blanket to his chin.

When Eddie returns, Christopher turned on the TV and lazily lies beneath the blanket on the Couch half asleep, while Buck stands outside the glass door leading to the garden.

Eddie joins him.

The evening air is warm when he steps through, carrying the distant sounds of traffic and music from another apartment.

"You should sit down."

"Nah, I've been sitting for hours."

"True, but you also fell twelve feet."

"Onto a balcony."

"That argument isn't becoming more convincing, you know."

...

Buck looks through the glass at Christopher, who laughs at something on the TV.
"He really likes him."

"Chris said Theo feels like a little brother."

Buck turns toward Eddie, surprise widening his eyes.
"He said that?"

"Yeah."

Buck looks back at Chris.
"I think Theo feels the same way."

True.

Eddie knows that just by looking at them.
…

His pulse begins climbing again.

He could leave this alone.

He could return inside, eat another slice of pizza, watch a movie with Chris, and pretend the realization in the hospital never happened.

Then Eddie remembers the quiet wonder in his voice when Buck said my son.

He can't bury this.
…

"Hearing you call Theo your son did something to me," he blurts out.

Buck's attention snaps toward him.
"Do you think I overstepped?"

"What?"

"I know it's only been two months, and the placement isn't permanent yet. I haven't even talked to him about what he wants to call me, because I don't want him to think I'm replacing his parents, and I know I've probably gotten attached too quickly—"

"Buck."

"—but the nurse asked, and he was looking at me, and saying no felt worse than saying yes, even though technically—"

"Buck, stop."

Buck closes his mouth.

"I'm not worried about how quickly you're moving."

"Then what did you mean?"
…

Okay, no way around this anymore.

"When you carried him through those doors, I looked at the two of you and realized..." he swallows" I realized this is already our family."

Eddie's heart pounds so hard that each beat seems to shake his entire body, but he forces himself to continue.
"You and me. Chris and Theo. We've been doing this without talking about it."

Buck's lips part, but no sound emerges.

Huh... thats new.

Eddie has seen him shocked before.

He has watched Buck wake after being struck by lightning, discover unexpected family secrets, and learn that a child carrying his DNA had entered the world without him knowing.

This is different.

Buck looks almost frightened.
"Eddie, please tell me you're not joking."

What? Why would he-

"I'm not joking."

"No, like.. for real. You can't say something like that unless you mean it."

"I mean it."

Buck steps forward, his breathing growing uneven.
"You can't know what that sounds like to me."

Bet?

"I think I do."

"No, you don't." Buck shakes his head, his eyes shining beneath the porch light. "You can't, because I've spent years trying to figure out how much of this I—."

Eddie's throat goes tight.
…

"And you're standing here saying it like you just figured out something obvious."

"Maybe I did."

Buck searches his expression, disbelief and hope fighting so openly that Eddie feels his heart break at the sight..

"When did you figure it out?" Buck asks.

"In the waiting room."

"In the waiting- wait, today?"

"Yeah, about twenty minutes before you came out wearing a matching cast with a four year old."

Buck lets out a startled laugh, but it breaks before becoming a complete sound.
"Eddie, you think you love me for twenty minutes and instantly decided to tell me?"

"I didn't start loving you twenty minutes ago."

Buck goes still.
...

"Pretty sure I just admitted it twenty minutes ago," Eddie clarifies. "There's a difference."

All the air seems to leave Buck's lungs as his face takes on a hue of red.

Eddie steps closer, reducing the distance between them until he can see the rise and fall of Buck's chest. "Over the years, I knew you were the person I trusted most, and every relationship I tried to build felt like something I had to work for while being with you was..." He searches for the words. "Being with you was already my life."

Buck blinks rapidly.
"But you're straight?!"

Eddie laughs, he can't help it.

"That's your response?"

"I think it's a fairly reasonable response."

"Buck, have you seen my dating history?"

"Yes."

"Then you know it proves nothing except that I can remain committed to a bad decision for an impressive amount of time."

"That's not funny."

Eddie shakes his head, the laugh fading into something softer.
"You and Ravi dragged me into a Club, because you decided I needed a woman in my life."

"You hadn't looked at anyone in over a year."

"I was busy."

"You were wearing a metaphorical chastity belt."

"Might I remind you, that you spent the entire night collecting phone numbers from a man and a woman while Ravi evaluated my underwear preferences."

Buck's ears begin turning red.
"That night got away from us."

Right.

"The point is that you both thought I needed help finding someone because I wasn't looking."

"Cause you weren't."

"No, I wasn't."

Eddie holds his gaze and Buck's amusement slowly disappears.
…

"I already saw what I wanted. I just didn't have the courage."

Buck inhales sharply.

I'm seriously gonna Need an Award for the range of Emotion i'm showing here.

"The one thing I know is that I love you."

The emotion inside Buck eyes at his words is so raw Eddie can't breathe.

"I've been searching for something to replace this," he says.

Eddie's chest aches.
"What?"

Buck glances toward the glass door, toward the family waiting on the other side, before looking at Eddie again.

"You."

Me?

"I kept thinking that if I found the right person, everything would settle into place. Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia, Tommy, and everyone in between. I wanted someone to choose me and stay, and every time it didn't work, I thought I moved too fast or asked for too much... and there was always this space they couldn't fill. I thought maybe nobody could, because it already belonged to something I could never have."

...

"You could have told me."

Buck gives him a wounded, incredulous look.

"Up until 5 minutes ago i though you were straight. Hell, you spent years looking personally offended whenever anybody suggested you might want to examine your feelings."

"I was going through a lot."

Buck laughs again and the distance separating them has narrowed to less than a step.
"You really mean this?"

He does.

"I love you."

Buck moves.

His uninjured hand catches the side of Eddie's neck, fingers sliding into the short hair at his nape as he pulls him Forward and their mouths meet with enough force to steal the breath from both of them.

Eddie's hands find Buck instinctively, one settling against his waist while the other braces carefully along his back, avoiding the injured shoulder and the sling trapped between their bodies.

He's actually kissing Evan Buckley.

His mouth presses against Buck's, warm and desperate, breaking away only long enough to draw a breath before returning at a different angle.

Eddie has kissed people before, loved people before, but nothing ever felt like this.

Buck makes a quiet sound against his mouth when Eddie's fingers tighten at his waist and that small sound sends heat spreading through his entire body.

He kisses him harder.

Buck responds immediately, his thumb pressing beneath Eddie's jaw while his mouth opens beneath his. The kiss deepens, intense enough to blur the garden and porch around them, yet Eddie remains aware of every place their bodies meet, every careful adjustment required by Buck's injured arm, every trembling breath he releases.

Eddie turns them slightly until Buck's back rests against the wall, giving him something solid to lean against as the kiss grows slower and somehow more consuming. His hand slips from Buck's waist beneath the loose hem of his  shirt, fingertips meeting warm skin before tracing carefully over the firm muscle of his stomach.

Buck shudders beneath the touch, his breath catching against Eddie's mouth, and for one dizzy second he lets his palm travel higher, feeling the tension gathered beneath Buck's skin and the rapid rise of his chest.

Then his fingers brush too close to the bruising along Buck's ribs and reality cuts sharply through the heat.

Eddie stills, drawing his hand back to Buck's waist before he can hurt him, just as the man himself pulls away just far enough to breathe.

"I can't believe this is happening."

"It is."

He looks up and finds Buck's lips swollen, his cheeks flushed, and there are tears gathered along his lower lashes.

He lifts a hand and touches Buck's cheek with the back of his fingers.
"I love you," he repeats. "You're not imagining it."

Buck turns his head and presses a kiss into Eddie's palm.
"I love you too."

The words strike Eddie with more force than the first kiss and his forehead drops against Buck's as his eyes close.

"I think I've loved you for a really long time." Buck whispers.

Eddie opens his eyes.
"hah, and I think I've been an idiot for a really long time."

"That's not really new information."

"You want me to take it back?"

Buck's smile brushes against his mouth. 
"You can't."

"Watch me."

God.

Eddie could remain here for hours, learning every sound Buck makes and every way his body responds to touch, but the awareness of the boys inside eventually returns, along with the knowledge that the man infront of him is injured, and probably needs to sit down.

So he draws back reluctantly and Buck follows him for another brief kiss before letting him retreat.

"We should go inside," Eddie murmurs.

"We should."

Neither of them moves tho.

Buck's fingers remain curled in Eddie's hair while his own hand remains beneath the hem of Buck's pajama shirt, resting against the warm skin at his waist.

"This is going to change things," 

"Yeah."

"And you're okay with that?"

Eddie looks through the glass door.

The living room appears empty from where they stand, tho the blankets remain piled across the couch and Theo's abandoned cup sits on the coffee table.

He imagines school mornings, scraped knees, family dinners, and arguments over who taught Theo which dangerous habit.

And Buck beside him through all of it.

"I want it to change things."

Buck's smile grows slowly.
"Our family," he says.

"Our family," Eddie confirms.