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Annie sits against the taffrail of the boat with her knees pulled close to her chest, head lowered and resting on her crossed arms. Despite her exhaustion she keeps her eyes open, which helps settle her motion sickness. The splashing white noise of the ocean works to soothe her, loud enough to drown out bad thoughts and gentle enough not to overwhelm her. She breathes slowly, easing her nausea, and blinks sparingly as she stares at nothing in particular.
The cabin door creaks open and slams with its own weight as Mikasa exits from it. She notices Annie by her lonesome and decides to, hesitantly, approach her. The melancholic blonde only lifts her head to acknowledge her, which Mikasa takes as a sign to sit beside her, leaving plenty of space between them. She studies her expression, concerned but calculating. It’s been years since they fought and Annie has shown that she’s no threat; there’s still a heavy air of distrust, even embarrassment between the two.
“Quit staring.” Annie demands bluntly, not appreciating the intrusive nature of the action. Mikasa shifts her focus, looking out across the deck and at the bright blue sky.
“Sorry.” She says quietly, understanding that there’s no need to continue viewing her as a puzzle. Annie doesn’t need nor want to be figured out, it’s rude anyway to put that on her.
The two fall silent, provoking deeper thought while providing an odd comfort for the other with their presence. Annie is the first to speak up.
“How do you do it?” She inquires, turning her head and tucking her loose hair behind her ear to see the other woman better.
Mikasa is slightly confused, meeting Annie’s gaze with her own question.
“Do what?” She requests clarity, wanting to be able to answer the question thoughtfully.
“Keep going. How do you push forward when everything's horrible, aren’t you tired?” Annie reiterates with more precision. Her already mopey expression seems to grow sadder.
Mikasa looks down to the space between them while she collects her thoughts, sighing before eventually answering.
“I’m not sure.” She presses her lips into a line. “I protect people. It’s who I’ve become.” She brings her gaze back up to Annie. “I am tired, but I can’t rest yet.” Her face is tense like her own words bring her discomfort, but a light in her eyes says it’s true.
Annie doesn’t know how to respond, unable to relate to such traits. Though she understands, and holds Mikasa in high regards for her strength.
She knows she’s strong too, but mentally, she’s been withered down to the basics. A desire for home and personal peace. Now, however, that dream might be long gone, her father along with her home has most likely already been trampled by the rumbling. And Paradis won't be so kind to her, citizens will shout that she’s a traitor and the military will steal the Female Titan if they get their hands on her. Living in obscurity would be just as bad, struggling to get by just to die after her thirteen years are up seems pointless.
Stewing in her own thoughts, she tries to climb out of them by paying attention to the rhythmic crashing of the water below. She returns her attention to Mikasa, which drifted away while in thought. Another question comes to mind.
“What will you do when all this is over?” Her tone holds a new weakness, but remains strong enough to pull Mikasa out of her own head.
She stammers, having avoided that train of thought since the rumbling began.
“I don’t know.” She starts. “I… hope I can bring Eren home.” Her voice grows quieter.
Annie tenses at the mention of Eren, a knot of frustration growing in her chest. She forces an exhale out as she turns her head away. Harsh words are stopped before exiting her lips as Mikasa speaks up again.
“Part of me knows I might not be coming home with him.” She admits. “I might not make it home at all.” Her voice shakes.
Annie bites her tongue, understanding the burden Mikasa carries on her shoulders. She looks to the dark haired woman to see her holding back tears. Something drops within her, a sinking feeling of hopelessness, empathy for Mikasa. She sits there silently, wishing there was something she could do. Hesitantly, she pulls one of her hands out to rest it in the space between them, palm up.
Mikasa’s eyes follow her hand, realizing the meaning behind the gesture as a tear breaks free, rolling down her cheek. She wearily reaches for it, making gentle contact as their fingers intertwine. Annie’s hand is cold, the skin is soft but feels oddly dense. Mikasa’s hand is warmer, her palm and fingertips calloused after years of hard work. They tighten their grip on each other as warmth grows in their clasped hands, a comfortable silence allowing Mikasa’s tears to flow without judgment. Annie softens, a swell in her eyes threatening to be released, though she keeps it to herself. Neither of them wish to pull away, and they remain at each other's side with unconditional support.
Eventually, the tears run dry and she sniffles as she wipes the moisture from her cheeks. Annie looks over to her with nothing in particular on her mind, simply looking at her face. She sees Mikasa, but also tiny parts of herself, which brings her strange comfort.
Mikasa finds her eyes, a subtle blush painting her cheeks as her lips form a downturned smile. A wave of awkwardness hits her.
“I’m sorry about that.” She says in her usual low but airy tone.
A compulsive smile pulls at the corner of Annie’s mouth, wanting to laugh off the awkward tension. She laughs with a small huff, immediately worried now that Mikasa thought she’s laughing at her.
“It’s fine.” Annie reassures, lightly squeezing Mikasa’s hand. Her smile is barely noticeable, but genuine, and endearing to the woman it’s directed towards.
Silence falls upon them again as they look to each other, met with faces that don’t seem so scary or foreign anymore. There’s an acknowledgment of personhood, outside of politics, outside of history, two people who are in the same boat. Even though it’s brief, they share a sense of relief as both their worlds are shattering around them. They sit calm and content amongst the shards of their realities, understanding that no burden should be carried alone.
Struggle coming from the cabin door captures the two women's attention. Armin walks out, the door slamming shut behind him making him wince at the noise. He sighs, looking around before spotting Annie and Mikasa. He signals for the two to join him with a wave of the hand. They rise to their feet, letting go of each other's hands in the process. Perceptive guy he is, Armin notices this and cocks an eyebrow at them as they approach. No one says anything, so he decides to keep his questions to himself, his cheeks turning a light pink as he turns to open the door; this action working to hide his expression. The three integrate with the rest of the group to discuss what comes next in their plans regarding their mission to stop the rumbling.