Chapter Text
Of all the things Rick had been expecting to do today, going down to his grandkids' school for an impromptu meeting with the principal had not been on that list.
Rick had been busy with his newest side hustle - turning his enemies into carrots and selling them - when he'd gotten a text from his daughter demanding he get down to the school immediately. Normally, he'd just ignore the message because whatever this was clearly wasn't an emergency. It likely wasn't anything good, but it certainly wasn't an emergency. But, as much as he didn't want to go, he also knew Beth would just keep texting and would eventually start calling until he did finally show up.
So he portaled into the principal's office to find Beth, Jerry, and the school's principal muted - courtesy of a "boomer frequency" muting app Rick had given Summer. He couldn't deny it was a little funny - especially since he wasn't the one currently muted - but he wasn't willing to admit that to his daughter. Her face was turning red, which meant Beth was pissed and Rick didn't want that wrath turned onto him. He was already pissed as it was and didn't want to hear his daughter bitching at him.
The second he clapped his hands and unmuted the adults in the room, his daughter began angrily ranting at him about her kids shitty behavior. Apparently his grandkids had been expelled for being, as Beth so eloquently put it, "high-concept assholes" and Rick was the one to blame.
He wanted to deny it - because how could it possibly be his fault - but he knew he had certainly played a part in it. Not only did he like to spoil his grandkids, but he'd definitely been bailing them out of trouble lately. He had never really seen a problem with it and had never noticed any negative consequences.
Until now.
Before the principal could interject any further, Rick turned the man into a giant carrot with his sci-fi hoe. When he turned the man back into a human, the principal immediately revoked the former expulsion, just as Rick knew he would. Normally, that would be the end of it and everyone would just go about the rest of their day, however it appeared that wasn't going to be the case this time. If anything, him turning Principal Vagina into a carrot had only made Beth more irritated and it was obvious in her annoyed, chiding tone.
"Dad, this is why they’re so spoiled. You bail them out before they ever learn a lesson."
"Yeah, you turned out so awesome without him." Summer ignored the glare Beth directed at her because, even if she refused to admit it, they both knew Summer was right.
"Don’t give Rick that much credit. He’s not bailing us out, he’s being a lazy piece of shit."
Rick's eyes narrowed as he turned to look at his grandson. Morty thought he was being a lazy piece of shit? Well, Rick would disprove that real fucking quick. "You're right, Morty. I'm not "bailing you out". In fact, I'm gonna handle this as soon as we get home."
Rick pulled his portal gun out of his overalls once again and opened a portal on the wall of the office. "Get your spoiled asses through that portal, now! Or I will turn you and your sister into fucking carrots and make you two live the rest of your lives like that."
Morty scoffed at that, but shoved himself out of the chair and stomped through the portal. He found himself in the garage and turned to see both Summer and Rick exit the portal right behind him. Morty was only a little concerned when it closed before their parents could follow. "Uh, where's mom and dad?"
"They are doing damage control at your school. You two are stuck with me." Rick set his hoe down on the counter and turned around to face his shitty grandkids, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared down at them.
Summer mimicked his stance, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in anger. "This is bullshit. How else are we supposed to treat our normie-ass classmates?"
"Yeah, why do we get punished for being better than everyone?"
"Because you aren’t. I am. You two are remora – too fucking spoiled to know you’re mooching off a shark." Rick scoffed at their blatant narcissism. He'd thought his daughter had just been exaggerating, but it seems his grandkids had gotten too used to being spoiled and if there was one thing Rick wasn't going to put up with, it was disrespectful grandkids. Rick didn't care if they were rude and condescending to other adults, but they had no right acting that way towards Rick and they all knew it. "You know, you two are so lucky-"
Morty was quick to interrupt Rick and dramatically threw his hands out. "Wait, wait, wait. Lemme guess. You're gonna say "We're so lucky to have you as our grandpa. We could always have a worse Rick"."
"Oh my god. He does say that, doesn't he?" Summer laughed at that because, in all likelihood, that is probably what Rick was going to say. "That is what you were going to say, wasn't it? Morty's got your number, bitch."
Rick's eye twitched as he watched Summer and Morty high-five. That is what he was going to say and it was bad that that threat no longer held any power over them, which likely meant the threat of being replaced would also do nothing. He was going to have to step up his game. "I'm going to give you little turds one last chance to stop being spoiled assholes."
"Pfft, or what? You gonna turn us into carrots, Old McDonald?"
"I'm so glad you asked." Rick grabbed a tranquilizer pistol of the garage countertop and didn't hesitate to shoot Summer with it.
"Woah! What the fuck, Rick?!" As Summer's eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed to the ground, Morty took several quick steps backwards and he panicked when he looked up to find Rick now pointing the tranquilizer gun at him. "No-"
Rick didn't give him a chance to protest or plead and pulled the trigger.
~
When Beth and Jerry got home from their kids' school, Rick was in the process of moving his grandkids down to the sub-basement and he froze when his daughter's scolding voice rang out.
"What did you, dad?!" Beth hurried into the garage when she noticed her kids passed out on the concrete floor, but her father didn't seem all that panicked. "When I asked you to handle it, this isn't what I meant."
"Relax, sweetie. I am handling it. You weren't kidding about these two being assholes."
"You aren't going to put them in the matrix again, are you?" Jerry remembered what a shitshow that had been and he wasn't certain he wanted to deal with the fallout from another matrix punishment.
"Fuck, no. I've got a much better punishment lined up for them." Rick had started working on said punishment shortly after the whole failed matrix incident. If his grandkids were going to take the family they currently had for granted, then Rick would show them what exactly they were taking for granted. He'd make them beg to come back to this family.
"What kind of punishment?" She couldn't help but be a little skeptical of her father's "punishments", especially given his track record of previous punishments.
"If they want to take this family for granted and act like spoiled shitheads, I'll show them what kind of family they could have grown up with."
"Hold on a minute. I'm not saying they don't deserve it, Rick, but this isn't going to have any lasting consequences, is it?"
Beth scoffed at that. As much as she wanted to appreciate Jerry's concern over their kids, she personally didn't see any problem with whatever punishment her father had cooked up. If this ended up being like the matrix incident, she'd simply let her father mindblow the kids before any problems could arise. "Who cares, Jer? If our kids go back to school the way they are, it's only going to be a matter of time until they are expelled again."
"See? Beth gets it. Help me bring your kids down." Rick scooped Morty up from the floor and tossed his grandson's unconscious body over his shoulder, before starting down the sub-basement ladder.
He led the the way to the elevator and held the door open for Beth and Jerry, who had Summer held in-between them. The elevator stopped at one of the lower floors and Rick stepped into a room with two metal beds and cerebral helmets.
"Uh, dad?" Beth would be lying if she said she wasn't a little concerned now. "What is this? It's not going to hurt the kids, right?"
Rick ignored her for the moment, so he could set Morty down on one of the tables and began hooking his grandson up to the machinery. "No, it isn't going to hurt them. It's going to place them in a simulation-"
"Like the matrix?" Jerry didn't see how this was any different from that and he couldn't understand why Rick hadn't just used the matrix again.
"No, not like the matrix. This is going to be far more realistic than that stupid matrix. They are basically going to be living their lives like normal, just with different Smith families. Worse Smith families."