Chapter Text
Paper stared at his hands for a little bit. He was in the middle of something- what was that something? He knew. He had to, how else was he talking- speaking so perfectly with knowledge he finds is just out of reach?
"I mean obviously it would prevent bad things from happening, why the heck do you wanna tear m- m...uh..."
He blinks for a moment, words he was so confident in before dying in his mouth, any sound itself was a struggle to get out. He uncrosses his arms- since when did they get like that?
He looks around the room- Test Tube- he knows her- she's familiar- and recalls a bit. She asked him something, that's (probably) why he's in her lab. (Is this her lab- right? This has to be her lab)
"...Paper?"
"Uh..." He stares at her for a bit. "Sorry... I might have zoned out for a bit, what were we doing?"
She stares at him for a moment, her mouth opens and closes, he can see her eyebrow raise "We were trying to see if the Protective Force Field Gun-"
"Blue-Ray!" Fan's voice chimed in- since when was he in the room?
"It's name is going through the workshop! Anyways- trying to see if it also worked on paper objects- like you and Fan."
He remembered agreeing to her when she came to him asking if he'd help her test it out, he realized now he had no memory of walking into the lab, or how any of anything went until now "........Well...uh...I think the Blue-Ray name is nice" he said in an attempt to feel less awkward. But the two others in the room exchanged a glance, then looked back at him, then back at each other. Did he say something wrong?
"...You uh...you said the opposite like 10 minutes ago?" Fan finally asked.
Paper felt weird- something in his head was telling him- demanding him to play it off. He had to be normal- he was normal- they would look at him odd he would be judged he would be found he couldn't he can't he needs to be-
"...Just changed my mind. Don't worry about it." The words felt...alien as they came out- he started to feel as if he was zoning out. His arms were wanting to cross again- he demanded they didn't. "I...think? Sorry..."
His mind felt clouded. He felt like he was being pushed- from what he didn't know. He could see Test tube mouthing something- could hear her speak, his mouth wanted to speak- whatever words it wanted to say couldn't form properly on his tongue, it came out as garbage noise, so he opted to stare instead.
"...Paper?.......hey........okay? Paper?........me.......hey?"
He blinked a few more times at her. Fighting so words could form, he dug his nails into...wherever he was sitting(chair? He thinks it's a chair-) in order to ground himself. He takes in a deep breath, his world feels more clear- he's in his own body again. He's the one seeing, hearing, thinking, in control-
...Where'd that thought come from? A flicker of a memory almost appeared in his head, before it was forced away.
He has no time to dwell on it though. "Sorry- sorry- I don't know what's up with me right now- sorry-"
Test tube gave a warm yet concerned smile "Golly gee Paper, I was just asking if you were okay…And if you'd be willing to answer some questions!"
His brain screamed at that. Fear that was so intense, yet so far off- so not his- creeping into his body, his thoughts, his mind.
Despite it all, he replied "Yeah- I'm fine! What questions?"
"When's the last day you remember in full clarity?"
He opened his mouth. Then closed it. He kept thinking back- "Y-Yesterday" He answers far too quickly.
"And what day of the week was yesterday?"
"Uh...Tuesday?"
"Paper, today is Tuesday."
He stared at her for a little. Feeling oddly trapped under her stern gaze. Something boiled inside him- he didn't know what it was exactly, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't familiar. He knew what this was- he had to. But his mind screamed at him every time he tried to dig for answers. Something was off.
Suddenly, someone was snapping their fingers in front of him- right- Test Tube- and he zoned back into reality.
“Uhh…”
“You've been zoning out a lot recently actually” Fan chimed in, breaking the silence. “You keep um…staring off into space- just kinda…kinda not being present you know?”
“H-have I been?”
“You stared at a wall for 30 minutes 2 days ago! Heck a bit ago you were yelling at us, I think you were about to hit me”
“Did I do that?” He jumped up out of his seat, and clawed through his memory. He remembered anger, remembered almost stabbing someone (though he couldn't place who) with a fork. Remembered a moment where he realized he was acting off and tried and failed to act normal. That feeling of familiarity crept back in, before he finally could remember.
“Oh no- oh nonono- this can't be happening- not again!” He started to pace around, his fist clenching. Not that fucker.
“Hey- hey Paper- calm down-”
“No. Fan you don't understand.”
“We might actually? I've had a theory about what's going on for a while now, all it took was some reviewing of past episodes and-”
“Don't- your theories aren't going to get rid of him! Do you know how much of a menace he'll make me be?”
The two in the room exchanged another glance, before Test Tube took another step forward.
“Paper. I've… done some research and being a system can become more manageable with time, so-”
“Being a what?” He interrupted, his panic, both his and that things panic being replaced by confusion.
Test Tube then sharply inhaled “Oh Paper did you…never look to see if some strange things in the competition had logical cause? Like multiple people in one body?”
“I…I thought…I thought that was just something Mephone made up for conflict…and honestly I don't want to even think about him-”
“Paper-”
“Do you know how terrifying it was- is to just not remember things? To know I- or my body could have just done anything at all and I just wouldn't know?”
“Paper-”
“How long has he been back for- why now- what does he want- wait- don't you have something that can split people up- maybe you can- “
“PAPER!” Test Tube shouted “I'm not splitting the two of you up.”
“Why not- oh wait that would just let him loose- why didn't I think of tha-”
“No. Paper…” she sighed, looking off to the side for a second before looking at him. “You and him have to learn to cooperate and become functional together first. And see if he even wants to split up.”
Paper stared at her for a moment. Before he let out a chuckle. “Hahaha- funny joke- Test Tube you- you.”
“She's right actually. You…you do need to consider him.”
“You can't- can't be serious- Evil Paper killed people! Evil is literally in his name!” New panic was filling his body. This feeling, he realized, was entirely his own. That fucker must have left. Good.
“So did I at one point!” Fan chimed in “No one's died by your hands, no one's been harmed-”
“So I'm supposed to wait until someone is?”
“No- no just…he might not be as bad as you think. I mean- look, Yin and Yang managed to get along with each other, maybe you and him could too?”
“They don't lose memory, Yang actually has a personality besides wanting to kill, plus, Yin is always there to hold him back in case he does- what if-”
“Paper! Look. If you actually try and talk with him…your memory might see improvements and he won't hurt others…Golly just…ask to talk to Candle or Yin-Yang at least?”
He was about to speak, before he took a deep breath. He didn't think there was any way to convince Test Tube to make something to separate them, or get rid of them. But maybe…maybe if this problem is constantly monitored and checked in on, maybe someone will be able to step in in case they need to make him stop. Plus, OJ definitely deserved to know. There was just one problem.
“I…I don't know how to talk to him!” He threw his hands in the air for dramatic effect.
“Elaborate?”
“When I dunked that piano on him he- I don't know! It was easy then! But I don't know how to do that again!”
“A good place to start is journaling or sticky notes, write a few questions about what he wants, ask who he's okay opening up to.”
“He's not going to be okay with anyone! He's- he's-”
“Maybe… ask the question first and then go from there. Of course…there's no licensed professionals here, but I'm sure there's some capable people I could give outside web access to-”
“...right. Right I…” he sighed. Still feeling on edge and frankly pissed off. “...Can I go home? I…this is a lot-”
“Of course, take your time to rest! I have some supplies if you want to-”
“I have stuff- it's fine- just- bye-” he ran off, heading out the half built bunker. Already overwhelmed. He'd figure it all out later, all he knew is he didn't want to think about it at all. Didn't want him to be back, he wanted to be normal. Why couldn't he have been made normal like everyone else?
He arrived at the temporary tents, right outside where the Hoot was planned to be built. He settled into where his shared space was, scrambling together enough supplies to write a few questions. He didn't give a shit if OJ saw the notes, if that monster had an issue, it was probably deserved. He picked up his phone, trying to get lost in the false internet Mephone created. He wished again that he was created in any other manner. Maybe if he was stronger, more aggressive, more able.
He didn't have time to dwell on those thoughts as he let his mind drift off and away.
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Looseleaf zoned back in, blinking off the tired feeling. It was nighttime- fuck it's been forever since they allowed themself to not pay attention. They shimmed out of OJ’s grasp. Of course their body and OJ were cuddling, it was honestly a little teeny tiny bit adorable how he made sure to give them contact so often. They felt a little upset as they broke away, hopefully that wouldn't be the last time OJ allowed them in their arms, but what if Paper already told him? They didn't want to be around for that, and after all that time finding a way to hide when he was out (God why did Mephone make him have an indicator at the start?)
They blinked a bit, finding the notes Paper had left behind. They picked up a pencil. This was their chance to not be immediately…well, they didn't know, but they didn't want to deal with whatever Paper had planned.
Why are you back?
‘Who knows’ they wrote back, as if they could control that.
What do you want?
‘Stop calling me Evil Paper, Call me Looseleaf. Use they/them for me. I don't have any plans or anything if you were expecting that.’ They rolled their eyes, already anticipating what Paper would be expecting. This idiot. ‘And to make sure you don't end up killing us’ they added.
Who are you okay with knowing?
They raised their eyebrow, not expecting that one. ‘Limit it to people who can help with this stuff. Don't tell OJ. Please.’ They mumbled a curse under their breath at that, it felt…odd to beg their other part, but they really, really didn't want OJ to exclude them.
They looked back at the man. He looked so…peaceful. They were a little jealous to be honest, they almost wished they could be as open as Paper was with him. But they weren't the vulnerable one, someone had to keep their body in line. Someone had to put on a brave face, had to fight back, had to deal with being alone.
They…they really hoped they wouldn't end up isolated after this. They considered blocking Paper’s memory of the whole thing, but if Test Tube or Fan decided to check in, and they were pretty sure that they would- they already knew it would be a mess.
They sighed, considering leaving but…
They flipped the note over and began to write again. ‘Also, don't fucking panic about me. Your ass needs someone to keep you in check, do you know how many times you almost got folded when you tried to help build shit? Also keep up with your maintenance routine.’
They smiled, feeling a bit better now that some of their grievances were aired. If shit’s gonna go down, they might as well be sarcastic about it!
They hid the note, hopefully Paper would find it in the morning, and headed their way back to the shared sleeping cot. They shimmied their way to their boyfriend’s (probably soon to just be Paper’s boyfriend's) grasp, and started to hold onto him. Slowly yet surely drifting off to sleep.