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Jude doesn’t really believe his eyes. They must be deceiving him. He stares at the screen a little longer, just to be sure.
“Dude, get over it.” Endrick scoffs behind him.
Bellingham spares him a glare followed by a sigh.
“There’s just no way.”
Haaland shines bright on his screen, with a big smile and no hair. No golden curls tied in a ponytail, but a semi-bald head instead.
“AI is just getting so scary these days…” Jude whispers, much more to convince himself than anything else.
Someone laughs behind him, as if it’s funny. Because it is so not.
Sure, Erling looks just as handsome and charming. Jude doubts he could ever get ugly. But he really loved his long hair. Sometimes, when they were together during their free time, he’d braid Haaland’s hair and even put some clips. It made him look adorable, such a delicate hairstyle in a seemingly tough guy.
How is he supposed to do all that now? How is he supposed to have fun? So even if some other guys ㅡ like a few of his teammates ㅡ might have long hair, none of them are his boyfriend.
“Just accept it, bro.” Jude isn’t even completely sure who says it, because he’s still too focused on his phone to care.
“Why would he do that!?”
“It looks good on him. Why do you care so much?”
Jude can’t find the words to explain that styling and playing with Haaland's hair is kind of a big deal for him, so he decides to pout instead.
“I’m calling him.”
“Don’t say anything disgusting in front of us, if possible.” Dean jokes, getting a laugh out of everyone except for Jude. He just makes a face in him. But he does take it in consideration, walking to the hallway to make the call.
As if he is not already stressed enough, Haaland hangs up on him and sends a text laughing. Jude feels the urge to walk all the way back to England just to slap him in the face.
He calls again, trying a face call this time and not bothering at all to answer his message.
Living, moving and smiling, Erling’s bald head appears shining on the screen once again. Bellingham’s jaw opens wide as he wonders for a second if you can use AI during a phone call.
“You really did it!” He can’t help but laugh, because Haaland himself is smirking all happy and silly.
“Hello to you too.” He rolls his eyes before rubbing his hand over his almost inexistent hair, as if to emphasize that it is real. “Do you like it?” He asks innocently, eyes big and shiny like a child.
Jude keeps smiling because it is so hard not to. He looks like an egg. Like a cute, adorable small egg.
“Well, I liked your old hair too.”
“Why?” Haaland sounds actually confused, as if that is brand new information and is absurd at some level.
Jude wonders why everyone keeps asking him that. He just feels like the long hair has been an important part of his boyfriend, so it only makes sense that he likes it that much. Simply because he likes Erling that much.
“It was cute. I liked to style it.” Is what he settles for, deciding to not be so corny.
There’s a funny look on Haaland's face that Jude doesn’t quite get at first.
“You also liked to pull it hard.” He wiggles his eyebrows as he says that, making him look very dumb.
Bellingham almost drops his phone as the words leave his boyfriend's mouth. It is true, but he still tries to lower the volume down, looking around in horror, because no one else has to know that. His face gets a bit hotter, embarrassed for hearing that out loud.
“Don’t say stuff like that out loud! I’m at practice…”
“Then go practice! Stop judging my bald head.”
“I am not judging! I’m mourning.”
Haaland laughs, soft and, once again, adorable. Jude follows, because it would be just wrong not to. It’s actually funny how cute he can look with and without hair. That won’t change.
“I will put on fake long hair. Extensions and a wig if you want. So you don’t break up with me.”
Bellingham actually gasps. He might love Erling’s long hair, but if there’s one thing that he loves way more, is the man himself. He could be completely bald with the top of his head reflecting the sunlight in every direction that Jude would still love him. Even if he looked even more like an egg.
“You’re so stupid! I’d never break up with you over that, and you know it!”
Haaland shakes his head.
“I don’t know. I think you’re with me for my beautiful long hair, so now you don’t love me anymore.”
“Yes I do! Even if you look like an egg!”
“An egg!?” Erling screams, frowning so hard that it looks like this eyes are about to fly off his head. Jude laughs once again, because Haaland is just that funny.
“A cute one!” He feels the need to add, just to make sure he knows.
“Cute egg!? Not sexy?” Erling actually sounds offended, as if that is the worst thing his boyfriend could have told him.
“I’d lick your bald head. So I guess it's sexy too.” Jude whispers, because none of his teammates need to hear him making sexual jokes with his boyfriend mid practice. And he would never hear the end of it.
Haaland laughs so hard the audio glitches.
“See, you already like it! You would crack this egg.”
Bellingham’s mouth opens wide once again, so shocked with the comeback that he can’t even laugh. He is the stupidest person to ever exist, and Jude is so into that.
“I’m done. I can’t believe you!”
“Come on. You love it.”
Jude rolls his eyes, but can’t fight the urge to smile.
“Yes, I do. I love you.”
“I love you too. Go practice and stop thinking about my egg head.”
Before Bellingham can complain about anything, Haaland hangs up once again, probably just to piss him off. He does those kinds of things often, knowing it gets him nothing more than a swear and a slap followed by a smile.
Jude walks back into the changing room with a smile on his face, nothing like he walked out of it.
Pretty much everyone spares him a look, with a smirk on their faces.
“What?”
“Dude, you two are corny.”