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Project: Magical Space Cure

Summary:

In retrospect, Grace should not have introduced Rocky to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

In his defense, a show about magical ponies was a shockingly comprehensive tool to teach aliens about human culture and relationships.

Rocky established Project: Magical Space Cure, behind Grace’s back, mind you, soon after that. Rocky thought he was clever.

So, here Grace was after two blissful years on Erid, watching Pluto pass through the Hail Mary's window as the side of his neck itched more and more.

Flippin' My Little Pony.

 
or Grace reluctantly becomes Earth’s only Eridian diplomatic ambassador. Rocky refuses to understand this unless he puts it in a My Little Pony reference.

Notes:

A true, true friend helps a friend in need,

A friend will be there to help them see...

Chapter 1: Fearfully

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

PROJECT:

MAGICAL SPACE CURE

 

Preliminary Report & Supporting Documents



 

Engineer Rocky & Dr. Captain Ryland Grace

Department of Humanity

Human Lab Station #1








PREPARED FOR THE ERIDIAN DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH

 


 

MEMORANDUM

DATE:         VℓIIVIℓ+λ
TO:             Dr. House, Director of the Eridian Department of Health
FROM:        Dr. Captain Ryland Grace & “Rocky,” Co-Directors of the Department of Humanity
SUBJECT:    Relationship between Carcinophage & Eridian Vascular Homeostasis

Summary

        On VℓIIVIℓ+λ, we discovered the presence of cells attached to worker cells in the Eridian Ambient Circulatory System (ACS), herein referred to as “Carcinophage.” This is likely a symbiotic evolution to prevent cancerous growths.

    A. Carcinophage evolved as an endosymbiont.

        Carcinophage is a star-shaped cell with a tungsten membrane that measures approximately 8 microns in diameter and latches onto Eridian worker cells with hook-like silicate cilia. Carcinophage possesses its own genome independent from that of Eridian worker cells. This strongly indicates that Carcinophage is an independent cellular organism rather than an organelle. This is consistent with an endosymbiotic origin that evolved alongside complex life on Erid.

     B. Eridian hemodynamic shear stress and compression create a significant risk of cancer.

         Eridian blood vessels utilize rigid sodium silicate for large, conduit vessels. To facilitate joint mobility, these large vessels subdivide into hundreds to thousands of thin, flexible capillaries. This creates numerous bifurcation zones, leading to:

  • Repeated high hemodynamic shear stress for worker cells, causing physical friction to strip away parts of the cell and causing worker cells to undergo hyper-accelerated replication to replace damaged structures; and
  • Extreme physical compression and mechanical stress, damaging worker cells and triggering emergency cellular signaling to divide rapidly to repair the perceived injury, ultimately leading to contact inhibition failure.

         Over time, the occurrence of copying errors, combined with over-division of cells from contact inhibition failure, is statistically likely to lead to rapid, systemic cancer.

    C. Carcinophage prevents cancer by molecular regulation and reconstruction.

        Carcinophage, when attached to each worker cell:

  • Regulates stress-induced mitosis in bifurcation zones through the release of enzymes that respond to chemical stress signals associated with cell replication and division; and
  • Reconstructs sheared worker cell membranes by producing membrane-repair proteins encoded by its stable, genetic material.

         The Carcinophage’s intervention appears to directly prevent the occurrence of cancerous growths in Eridians.

 


 

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Relationship between Carcinophage & Eridian Vascular Homeostasis

Received. We must immediately evaluate whether carcinophage may be used to prevent humans from aging.

 

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Relationship between Carcinophage & Eridian Vascular Homeostasis

Agreed. I will begin work at once. Please communicate any findings of the Department of Health to me personally and exclusively.

 

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Relationship between Carcinophage & Eridian Vascular Homeostasis

Acknowledged. Grace-speed.

Notes:

Ok... it's been a few years.

In my defense, I've done a lot of things. Notably, I went to law school and got married (crazy!!!).

I do regret to say that I have been writing all this time. I just haven't wanted to post anything until now. Law school definitively did not help with that...

I've been very happy to get back into it, though! This "project" (ha ha) has been a long time coming. I finally feel like I have enough planned/written to share, so I hope y'all are ready for this fudged up, scientifically-inaccurate ride.