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When Anon first planned to join a girl band, she had thought of it as her path to acceptance and security. She would never be an outcast if she could ride the high of the trend set out before her. She would be admired for the rest of her days as long as she was in a band, and that was all that mattered. There hadn’t been anything more to it. Anon had never imagined it would lead to something so deeply impactful for her life. She hadn’t expected to fall in love with the guitar and then with the rest of her band. Anon’s plans of being in a band for the sake of personal gain crumbled when she found that she cared deeply for all of the members of MyGO!!!!!, and since then, her goals for staying present had changed significantly. Her band was the best place for her to feel human. The people there may not have always gotten along with her, but they still cared deeply for her. They were friends even in the darkest of times, and that was worth far more than the superficial popularity Anon had hoped she would be able to find starting out. It was a difference of night and day.
Even so, Anon would have been lying if she said she was entirely uninterested in the social currency she could only claim through being in a band. Playing music was fun, but Anon admittedly still wondered what it would be like for MyGO!!!!! to build a bunch of popularity and then become well-loved by a group of dedicated fans. Her band was very talented, and they worked hard to ensure their shows were all of a high quality. Surely they would be able to find a few people who wanted to come to their shows consistently. They were already making good progress, and with a little bit more pushing, Anon liked to think they would get to the fame she craved.
Anon’s dream wasn’t looking too challenging these days either. MyGO!!!!! had already earned quite a bit of acclaim in local circles, and it hit a boiling point when Sakiko asked if the band would be willing to work with Ave Mujica for a collaborative concert. Anon had been over the moon, and she and the rest of her band had agreed as soon as they were able to find the words. Anon was glad Sakiko and Mutsumi had repaired their relationships with the members of their old band for a lot of reasons, and this was just another to add to the list. Everyone from MyGO!!!!! and Ave Mujica had gotten closer over the course of the last few months, and this collaborative concert was bound to help them all to make progress in their music careers. If they were all planning to be in it for the rest of their lives, then they may as well make the most of it, right?
Anon had been practicing for the joint concert whenever she could find the time, though she found herself taken by eager daydreaming far more than she was willing to admit openly. How could she not think about how exciting it was? She had loved Ave Mujica long before they were unmasked, and now, she was getting closer with all of them. She would be able to show it to the world too when they all took to the same stage and performed songs together. MyGO!!!!!’s fanbase had already been growing, but this was bound to shoot their popularity into the stratosphere. Ave Mujica had maintained quite a bit of its momentum even after leaving their label, and Anon knew that kind of popularity would go a long way for her group. What could be better than that? It already promised to be incredible for everyone involved.
Anon and the rest of the band had just finished up their rehearsal for the joint concert, though most of them had split up to go home. Tomori and Soyo had homework that needed to be finished by the end of the night, and Taki wanted to work on yet another new song for the show they would be performing after the joint concert. Anon wasn’t entirely sure of where Raana had wandered off to, but she decided it didn’t matter much. Raana would show up again when the moment was right, and she wasn’t necessary for the rest of the day anyway. Anon was fine with spending the rest of the afternoon in RiNG on her own. She was more than overdue for one of her favorite smoothies from the bar.
Anon walked into the dining area of RiNG, but before she could sit down, she found someone else was already sitting at the bar next to her ordinary spot. Mutsumi was eating the same parfait Raana always ordered when she came to RiNG, and Anon was certain Raana had introduced it to her at some point in their strange friendship. Interestingly, Mutsumi was there by herself. It was pretty rare to see her in public on her own. In fact, Anon didn’t know if she had ever seen Mutsumi without another member of her band or another one of her friends close by. Mortis was a different story, but Anon was sure it was Mutsumi now. After all, Mutsumi wasn’t doing the kicking thing Mortis always did when she was sitting in a chair that was too tall for her.
Anon’s excitement was too much for her to bear, and she figured there was no one better to share it with than another person she would be performing on the same stage with at the upcoming show. She walked over to Mutsumi with a smile and sat down beside her. “Hey, Mutsumi-chan!” Anon greeted. She pulled her guitar off her back and set it against the counter next to her feet. “I didn’t think I would run into you here today. What brings you to RiNG?”
Mutsumi looked over at Anon, surprised someone had wanted to sit down beside her, before she returned her gaze to the parfait before her. “I thought ice cream sounded nice today,” Mutsumi replied. Then Ave Mujica wasn’t there to rehearse. Anon supposed that made sense; she had heard from Soyo once that the group tended to practice in the Wakaba mansion’s studio rather than at a livehouse. Mutsumi took another bite of the ice cream before she glanced up at Anon. “Why are you here?”
“I just finished up a rehearsal with my band. They all went home right after it was over, but I wanted to get something from the bar,” Anon replied. She saw Ririko come out from behind the counter, and as soon as Ririko walked out, she arched an eyebrow to silently ask if Anon wanted her ordinary order. Anon cast Ririko a smile, and Ririko disappeared into the back room to get started on it.
“I see,” Mutsumi murmured. Anon wasn’t sure if she was going to say anything else after that. She never really could be sure what was going on with Mutsumi. Anon hadn’t known what to make of Mortis back when they met since she was so different from Mutsumi, but with time, Anon had learned Mortis was much easier to read. Mortis wore her heart on her sleeve while Mutsumi kept her emotions tucked tight against her chest. It was considerably harder to figure out what Mutsumi was thinking when compared to Mortis. It was somehow harder to decide if Anon should be saying something else or if she should wait for Mutsumi to speak up first. Anon didn’t have anywhere near as good of a feel for Mutsumi’s habits as someone like Soyo or Sakiko. With Mortis, Anon would just start talking, but with Mutsumi…
In the end, Anon decided she didn’t care what others would have done in her position. If Mutsumi didn’t want to talk to her, then she could come out and say that after Anon had started up a conversation. “We were practicing for our joint concert,” Anon went on, pressing her hands against the cushion of her barstool with a smile. “Everyone in the band is really excited for it. I can’t stop thinking about how much fun it’s going to be for us to all perform together.”
Mutsumi nodded with a small smile. “Everyone in Mujica is looking forward to it too. We’ve been working hard to get all of our songs ready for the show.”
“You’re all excited to perform with us too?” Anon asked, her smile so wide it made her cheeks ache. Mutsumi nodded, and Anon laughed softly. “I can’t stop thinking about how cool it’s going to be to share a stage with all of you! I loved Ave Mujica even before I knew who was in it, and I still think it’s really cool that we’ll be able to perform with you!” After a moment of silence, Anon gasped, new anticipation building in her voice. “Does this mean we’re all going to step into the world of Ave Mujica?! Does Sakiko-chan have anything planned for us?!”
“I’m not sure of what she has in mind yet, but she said she was working on the script a few days ago,” Mutsumi said. “She may not want to bring all of you into it if you’re not comfortable with that, but she wanted to have a little bit prepared for our band.”
“I would gladly jump into it!” Anon beamed. “It all sounds like something right out of a dream… Performing with a band I love and getting pulled into their world! And that doesn’t even mention all of the fans we could end up getting from this show!”
Mutsumi stopped eating her parfait to look up at Anon with unreadable eyes. “New fans?”
“Ave Mujica is a lot more popular than MyGO!!!!!, so I think this concert could be our first true step on the road to fame!” Anon explained with a grin. “I think it would be really cool if our band got a bunch of attention and blew up after this concert. Maybe my band will gain traction on social media and go viral! Imagine what it would be like to be famous after something like this!”
Mutsumi’s lips tipped into a frown, and she stared into her parfait, her spoon hovering just above it. “You should be careful when you say things like that,” Mutsumi cautioned. “It might not be everything you think.”
Not even Mutsumi’s warning could take the wind out of Anon’s sails, and she looked at the other girl with sparkles in her eyes. “You’ve been famous your entire life, haven’t you? What is it like?” Anon asked. “It always sounded like a dream to me.”
Mutsumi took another bite of her parfait just to do something with her mouth. She took her time in swallowing the ice cream. By now, she was reaching the bottom of the cup, and her spoon clinked against the glass when she set it down for a moment. “If you really wanted to be famous, I would trade you in a heartbeat,” Mutsumi confessed. “But I don’t know if that would be a good idea. Being famous isn’t fun at all.”
Anon finally paused at those words, and she frowned as Ririko returned to the counter to drop off her smoothie. After calling her thanks to Ririko, Anon returned her attention to Mutsumi. “What makes you say that?” Anon inquiry. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” Even as Anon posed the question, she knew the answer wasn’t going to be anything she wanted to hear. She had seen how Mutsumi crumbled beneath the pressure when she was being filmed in front of RiNG. The day had been a bit of a blur for Anon, but for Mutsumi, it must have had a profound impact.
Mutsumi stared at the bottom of her parfait, her eyes suddenly glassy and unable to focus. She grounded herself again by taking the last few bites of her ice cream, and Anon filled the silence by sipping on her smoothie. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in my parents’ shadows,” Mutsumi answered slowly. “I never felt like I had anything of my own that didn’t come from them first. No one wanted to look at me for who I was… They just wanted to know more about my parents. I felt like an extension of them.”
“Mutsumi-chan never had anything of her own,” Mortis declared, and Anon jolted at the sudden switch in their voice. Anon supposed Mortis was probably never far from Mutsumi even when it seemed like Mutsumi was the one in control of their body, but she hadn’t thought it would startle her this much. “Everything came from someone else. Even if she had something she did like on her own, it was hard for her to enjoy it without somebody getting her parents involved in it. She had ‘aura’ from her parents, and that sealed it. Nothing she did could have come from her since other people decided it must have come from Minami-chan or Ta-kun.”
Anon nodded slowly as she processed each word. She couldn’t help but notice how Mortis referred to Minami and Takafumi as Mutsumi’s parents rather than as her own. The distance must have been intentional. Anon doubted someone would refer to their mother and father that way unless they had both reason to do so and practice with ensuring their tongue did not betray them. Somehow, the gap between Mortis and her parents made sense when Anon thought about how both Mortis and Mutsumi had acted previously. They hated when their parents were brought up, and they recoiled at the sight of cameras out of fear of being watched. Anon hadn’t ever been given a true glimpse behind the curtain though. There was only so much she could know when Mutsumi was easily one of the members of Ave Mujica she was least close to.
“I never thought about it that way,” Anon admitted. “I thought… Well…” She had thought of fame as a way to guarantee being liked for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t need to worry about earning the admiration of others if she was famous enough for them to always want to be around her. Anon had come a long way since she first returned to Japan from London, and she had learned how much more important it was to make genuine friendships than to be liked without basis. She had learned so much about herself from her band, and she wasn’t afraid of being rejected for failing the way she once had been. Even so, she doubted she would ever be able to fully ignore the allure of fame. “I thought it sounded like a dream.”
“That’s what people think before they have to live it,” Mortis told her. She took to tapping the spoon in her parfait cup while kicking her feet, and while Anon was sure Mutsumi was still around, she could tell by the shift in mannerisms that Mortis had taken over for the most part. “But it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. If you ask me, it ruins any chance at having a normal life.”
“I guess so…” Anon murmured. When she first returned to Japan, she had thought the idea of fame and popularity were wondrous and fantastical. She would never need to worry about her past mistakes catching up with her again if she proved she was worthy of the admiration of her peers. It didn’t matter if anyone knew about her true self; in fact, Anon would have admittedly preferred it if people didn’t try to get to know who she was beneath the surface. If they got too close, then they would ultimately realize she was a person with flaws like any other, and nothing was quite as unbearable to Anon as having to look at her imperfections. There was a reason she had run halfway across the world in an effort to prove herself.
Since then, Anon had come a long way, and she knew she would never slip back into those bad habits again. Even if she wanted to, the rest of her band wouldn’t have allowed it. Anon knew just how wonderful genuine friendship could feel when she gave it a chance. She knew how wonderful it was to feel human rather than to try and make herself into an untouchable idol. Perhaps it would have been easier for no one to know of her true self, but once Anon saw a glimpse of humanity, she couldn’t seem to keep it off her mind forever. She would inevitably return to it even if she fled initially, and now, Anon was proudly a member of a band that would keep moving toward the future instead of running from the past.
Even so, Anon remained fascinated by the allure of fame. She wasn’t going to sacrifice her soul for it the way she had once considered, but like most others her age, she wanted to know what it was like to stand atop the world. If she was given the chance, Anon knew she would have at least considered taking it… Though with the way Mutsumi and Mortis were talking now, Anon had to wonder if she really should think about it that way. Would it have been invasive to ask them for more details about why they had come to hate fame so much? Anon had gotten closer to them, but she hardly wanted to break their boundaries entirely by pushing this. After seeing Mortis and Mutsumi argue the way she had a few months ago, Anon didn’t know if she would be able to handle the guilt if she went beyond their limits.
“What’s it like?”
Mortis’ eyes were full of admiration and interest when she looked up at Anon next, and any thoughts Anon may have had about pushing the previous subject melted away. “You’ve never been famous,” Mortis went on. If it had been coming from most other people, Anon would have found the statement to be insulting. From Mortis though, Anon knew to not be offended. This was just the way Mortis talked sometimes. “What is it like to live an ordinary teenage life?”
Anon blinked as her face slipped into a nervous smile. “Well…” How was she supposed to answer a question like that? Her teenage experience had been considerably more normal than anything Mutsumi and Mortis were used to, but Anon knew most others her age hadn’t traveled to another country in the name of proving their worth. Out of the group that may have shared that experience, Anon didn’t think anyone could relate to then coming back home out of shame at falling short before she could fully try.
From the start, Anon hadn’t exactly wanted a normal teenage experience anyway. She had wanted to find all the popularity and love in the world so that she could spend her teen years thriving. The dream had always been superficial, and Anon was fully aware of it. That hadn’t stopped her from craving the wonder that came with being made into the living, breathing ideal of her peers. Anon’s life had evened out since she joined MyGO!!!!!, and she didn’t chase that impossible hope anymore. Even so, it felt impossible to talk about her experiences without bringing it up.
Anon must have taken too long to respond since Mortis picked up the slack in the conversation seconds later. “You seem like you have so much fun with your band,” Mortis went on with a smile. “I can tell you really care about all of them. It must be amazing to be able to spend time with your friends without worrying about people watching you all the time.”
“I… I guess that’s true,” Anon began, though she knew it was never that simple. She didn’t care quite as much about how others viewed her now, but she doubted she would ever stop worrying at least a little bit about the opinions of her peers. Wasn’t that a natural part of being a teenager? If Mortis wanted to hear about ordinary teenage life, then she had to know that fearing judgement was a massive piece of it. “I don’t know if I’d say that I’m never worried about people watching me though.”
“Really?” Mortis asked, her expression shifting in a way Anon couldn’t quite describe. Anon couldn’t tell if Mortis was more dreading what Anon was about to say or hopeful that someone else might be able to understand what she had experienced. “What do you mean?”
Anon almost wished she hadn’t said anything about it. She had opened up about her struggles with the other members of her band, but she was nowhere near close enough with Mutsumi or Mortis to know how to express it with them specifically. Still, if they wanted to know what was happening so much, then Anon supposed the kindest thing she could do was be honest. They were friends even if they weren’t all that close, right? If Anon wanted to bond with them, then she was going to have to put in the effort. Friendship wasn’t simple or easy, and Anon had learned that from her band. She may as well carry forward the momentum that came with spending time with her closest friends and use it to talk to Mortis.
“I’ve always been worried about how others see me,” Anon admitted. She took another sip of her smoothie as she fought to figure out how to phrase her next thought. “I think all girls our age are thinking about it in some way or another. You want other people to like you, and the idea of them hating you is terrifying.”
“Mm…” Anon could tell by the softness of the hum that Mutsumi had taken control once again, and she proved it when she next spoke. “I’ve worried about how others think of me too. I don’t want them to see me as an extension of my parents, but I’m not sure how to get them to change their minds.”
“Once people have something in mind about how you are, it can be hard to convince them to change their opinions,” Anon confirmed. “You can still do it, but it can be tough.” That was why she had run all the way to Haneoka in the first place. Back then, Anon had been convinced her friends from her old school would think of her as a failure for coming back early from London. She didn’t know if her friends actually would have thought that of her, but she hadn’t given herself much of a chance to find out. She wouldn’t be able to ask any of them if her shame kept her from being able to so much as approach them in the first place, would she?
Shame had been such a strong motivator for Anon for so long. She didn’t like having to admit it, but she knew it to be the truth. So much of what she had done had been in an effort to keep from being embarrassed about what she thought were the faults in her humanity. There were other options than hating herself for what she could not change though. She could play music with people who cared about her, and she could make something new of the life she had thought was as good as over when she returned home. MyGO!!!!! had recreated Anon in a lot of ways, and she liked to think the modern version was much better off than her old incarnation had been.
“It’s sad, isn’t it? That you can’t just be yourself and let that be enough,” Mortis sighed. “People always want things from you, and if you want to fit in, then you have to follow that. Sometimes, that doesn’t even work. People can be so confusing sometimes.”
“You can say that again,” Anon snorted. She took another long sip of her smoothie and stared down at the pink liquid in the glass. When she first moved back to Japan, she found herself so exhausted each day when she returned from school because she had to put on a front for everyone she met. It wasn’t safe for Anon to just be herself, flawed and human as she was. Others had expectations, and she had to meet them. Anon had failed to fit in when she was in London, and she refused to let that happen again. If it meant she had to hide her true self, then she had thought that a fine price to pay. Who cared about honesty in the minefield of popularity and admiration? Was anyone ever really telling the truth about how they felt in an environment like that?
The best answer had been to opt out of the race entirely, or at the very least, to back out of it as much as Anon could stand. She was happiest when she was with her friends rather than trying to put on a front for others to adore. She didn’t feel the need to smile when she was upset or to hold herself back when she was joyful in front of the rest of her band. It was liberating, and Anon hoped she never felt the need to go back to hiding herself again. Even if she had considered it, she knew Tomori wouldn’t have allowed it. The rest of MyGO!!!!! was too good of an influence sometimes, and Anon was glad she had them by her side.
“I always want to do what I can to cheer people up, but it can be so hard to make them happy sometimes. I feel like I don’t always understand them,” Mortis went on, pressing her cheek into one hand. “And what I can give them doesn’t always work either. It’s hard to think about.”
“Fitting in is hard work,” Anon agreed. “For a long time, all I could ever think about was whether people liked me or not. Now, I know it’s important that the people I care about like me, but it’s hard to not think about it. Everyone wants people to like them. Even people who seem like they don’t care really do deep down.”
“Yeah… I know I care about it,” Mortis confirmed with a small nod. “I want people to like me for me and not who Mutsumi-chan’s parents are. That doesn’t happen very often though. People think I’m weird or unsettling since I’m not Mutsumi-chan. I know they’re not used to me, but it still stings. Even when I’m trying to make people happy, I can’t seem to do it.”
“Honestly… One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn lately is that you can’t make everyone happy,” Anon said. “I hate saying it, but it’s true. You can try, but all it’s ever going to do is make you miserable.” Anon didn’t even want to imagine where she would be now if she had continued focusing so hard on trying to get all of her classmates to adore her. She was on friendly terms with most of them, of course, but she couldn’t push herself to the point of exhaustion each day in a bid to be liked. There would always be people who didn’t like her for some reason or another, and she deserved better than to run her soul ragged trying to change.
Anon didn’t know how she would ever voice it to her band, but she was grateful for all they had taught her. The formation of MyGO!!!!! had been rough for everyone, and yet, Anon had emerged all the stronger for it on the other side. She may not have always gotten along with the other members of her band, and they had certainly had their issues with one another even now. Still, they were always trying to be better. They were always trying to push for a path where they could be together and happy. Even if they didn’t act like typical friends, Anon knew they were, and like all friends should have, they had changed her for the better. Anon had to wonder if she had ever truly understood friendship before she met her band and was forced to see just how superficial so many of her past bonds had been.
“I know,” Mortis murmured. “It’s still hard.” She looked up at the ceiling with a small sigh. “Ever since I appeared, I’ve known that my job is to keep all of us safe. The best way to do that is to be liked. If people like being around you, then they’re going to be nice to you. Nothing bad can happen if people care about you, right? It all sounds so simple… I just wish it was that easy in real life too.”
“Yeah… I guess that’s true,” Anon murmured. She hadn’t ever thought about it through such blunt terms, but she supposed she had come to the same conclusion as Mortis without realizing it. To be liked was to be safe. Anon didn’t need to fear rejection if she was secure in the knowledge that others cared about her. If she was relevant and wanted, then everything would be fine.
“But you’re right. Sometimes, people just don’t like you for things that are out of your control,” Mortis went on sadly. “It seems like there are a lot of people out there who don’t like me and Mutsumi-chan for some reason or another. Some of them are jealous of us, and others just… Hate us because they can. It’s a lot harder to find safety in being liked when it’s so difficult to get people to like you.”
Anon nodded, and she slid her smoothie backwards across the counter so she had room to lay her head down. “Especially when it seems like they don’t care about who you really are,” Anon finished for her. That had been the driving insecurity holding her back for so long: the belief that her true self was bound to be unappealing to someone. She knew others were not going to like the girl she was beneath the mask, so she just made sure they never had the chance to see through the facade. It was as effective of a solution as Anon could come up with, and so, she committed to it until she was given a reason to back down.
Anon may not have had the same experiences as Tomori, but she was aware all the same that her peers would not be fond of the girl she truly was. She had to build herself into something new to get the security she craved, and Anon had risen to the occasion as soon as she was able. What had it done for her though? Anon had twisted herself and jumped through so many hoops that she barely felt like herself when she was with those outside of her immediate circle. She had gotten better about loosening up, and yet, that old instinct to make sure people liked her refused to be kicked without a fight. Anon doubted she would ever be able to fully stop caring about what the people around her felt. She was a hypocrite for giving Mutsumi and Mortis the advice she had, and yet, Anon didn’t correct herself or backpedal at all. It was something she needed to hear every bit as much as they did.
“A lot of people have tried to get close to me so they can bond with my parents, but they don’t care much for who I am as a person,” Mutsumi said. She stared straight ahead as she said it, and Anon could see the slight glassy sheen to her golden irises even without making direct eye contact. “When they get to know me, they always end up disappointed. I can never handle any situation the way I should.”
“I know what you mean. It’s always such a mess,” Anon agreed. She was hardly the sort to admit her mistakes openly to those she did not know, but she knew how much she struggled with social interactions at times all the same. Anon cursed either herself or the person she was speaking to each time she felt herself fail at talking to her peers. She was much less critical now than she had once been, but the noose of shame had grown so familiar to her that even after she escaped it, she remembered its touch bitterly well.
“I never knew it was something you had such a hard time with,” Mutsumi confessed, and Anon’s eyes widened. “You always seemed so much better at talking to others than us. We were always impressed with how well you were able to handle social situations. You seemed like an expert.”
“Me?” Anon echoed. She knew she was a talkative extrovert, but she wasn’t sure if she would go so far as to say she was an expert at talking to her peers. If she was really an expert, then she wouldn’t have wound up in the situations she had just after moving back to Japan. “I don’t know if I’d say that…”
“You’re better at it than we are at least,” Mutsumi corrected. “You’ve always seemed like you know just what to say. You said the right thing when CRYCHIC played together for the last time.”
“I guess I did,” Anon hummed. It had come so naturally to her back then. If CRYCHIC needed one last show, then Anon would give it to them. When she first joined her band, she would have expected herself to be overcome with jealousy at the thought of being replaced, but her fears had been for nothing. She had nothing to worry about when her friends still valued her just as much as they had once cared for their old band. CRYCHIC was in the past, but MyGO!!!!! was in the present. Anon could not be replaced when she was there in the moment. It was rather simple, wasn’t it?
“I can’t help but admire you,” Mutsumi continued, and Anon felt her cheeks turn as pink as her hair. “You seem like you know what you’re doing in all the spots where I struggle. Your words can do so many good things. I wish I could express myself the way you can.”
“I’m not as good at it as you think,” Anon admitted. At one point, she would have taken the compliment and ran with it, but it felt disingenuous to do something like that when Mutsumi and Mortis were being so vulnerable with her. It would only be right of Anon to return the favor and be honest with them in return, right? “I’ve struggled a lot with expressing myself. Things almost didn’t work out with MyGO!!!!! at all since I couldn’t figure out what everyone else wanted. If anything had gone a little bit differently, then…”
Then Anon never would have changed. She never would have started running toward that future the rest of her band promised. She would have spent the rest of her days afraid of what others thought of her and dreading the next social misstep that could end up dooming her to a spiral of shame and isolation. Anon couldn’t imagine her life without her band now, and she didn’t want to think about it either. They were all better off together. They had fought to reunite as a group, and Anon wasn’t going to let herself slide back into bad habits now that she had a place to belong. A lifetime may have been more than she initially expected when joining a band, but Anon couldn’t imagine herself running from it anymore. She needed that lifetime in ways she hadn’t anticipated when she first met the rest of the band.
“You’re much better with using your words than I am. When I speak, I always mess something up,” Mutsumi murmured. “That was the reason CRYCHIC split. If I had been a bit more careful with my words, then none of that would have happened.” Mutsumi paused for a moment and shook her head. “I’m happy with Ave Mujica now. We’re all where we need to be. Still…”
“You think about CRYCHIC even after all this time,” Anon finished for her, and Mutsumi nodded. “The rest of your band does too. I can tell it means a lot to you… But at the same time, I’m glad you were all able to move forward. I don’t think it would have been right for all of you to spend the rest of your lives feeling miserable over the past.” As heartwarming as CRYCHIC’s final show had been, Anon was glad it had been an ending for them. They could close that chapter of their lives and look to their futures with smiles on their faces. CRYCHIC had done a lot for them, but it was not meant to last, and they deserved to enjoy all of the new things they had created too.
Mutsumi nodded, looking into her parfait glass once again. Her reflection was distorted in the clear surface, and a dozen copies of her own fractured face stared back up at her. “Ave Mujica is our home now… I just wish CRYCHIC didn’t have to end the way it did.”
“You like your new band, right?” Anon asked. “I mean, I don’t think you would be staying with them if you didn’t like them, but…”
Mutsumi nodded once again. “Mujica is our home now. It took time, but we all get along now. We’re going to be in the band for the rest of our lives. That was what we promised to each other. I’m not going to break that promise either. We belong together. It just took a while for us to see it. I’m happy with them. Mortis is too.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Anon said. “MyGO!!!!! has done a lot for me too. I can’t imagine life without it, and I don’t want to either. I almost don’t recognize who I was before I met all of them honestly. I never thought I’d like being in a band as much as I do now, but they all changed my perspective on it a lot.”
“I wanna hear about them,” Mortis declared, pressing her cheeks into her palms and looking at Anon with admiration glittering golden. “Tell me about your band! If we’re gonna be performing together, then it’s only right that we all know each other well, right?”
“I think you know the other four well enough,” Anon replied with a small smile. Mutsumi had known Tomori, Soyo, and Taki for much longer than Anon because of their bond in CRYCHIC. Beyond that, Mortis was very close with Raana in ways Anon doubted she would ever be able to understand. Anon really didn’t think there was much she could say in a situation like this…
But Mortis clearly had different opinions since she firmly shook her head. “I want to hear what your band means to you,” Mortis corrected. “If they’ve done so much to help you, then I want to know about it. That’ll help us all to perform better when it’s time for our joint concert, right?”
Anon certainly couldn’t argue with that. This conversation had certainly gone a long way in helping her to understand Mutsumi and Mortis in preparation for the day they shared a stage. Besides, Anon had already been thinking about how much her band changed her life throughout the conversation. Expressing it aloud couldn’t be too much of a challenge. Anon didn’t need to worry about the other girls judging her if she made a mistake either. Mutsumi and Mortis had told her just how ridiculous they found it that the world viewed them under such scrutiny, so if anyone was going to give Anon mercy, it would be them. Anon’s band really had changed her, hadn’t it? She never would have considered this a year ago, but there she was, letting her walls down around a girl she barely knew because she knew it was going to help her.
Anon took one last drink of her smoothie before she launched into the story, Mutsumi and Mortis both watching her eagerly. “Before I met the rest of the band, I was studying abroad in London,” Anon began. “It didn’t go well though, so I came back here… But I didn’t want to go back to my old school. I thought my classmates were going to judge me for failing to make a life for myself in London. I wanted to start over instead, and that was why I enrolled at Haneoka.”
“Mm… Soyo did say you moved during the middle of the school year,” Mutsumi recalled, and Anon nodded. Back then, Anon had been worried about someone asking her why she had appeared at such an odd point. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to press her on it, and Anon had prepared at least half a dozen lies she thought would get her out of the situation if needed. Nowadays, Anon was relieved all of that work had been for nothing. “Go on.”
“I was popular at my old school, but since I couldn’t go back there… I wanted to be as popular as possible at my new school instead,” Anon continued. “That was the entire reason I wanted to be in a band in the first place. It was what everyone else was doing, and that was the best way to fit in, so… I did it. I wasn’t planning on sticking it out or anything, but Tomorin didn’t really give much of a choice when she started telling the rest of us we had to do it for the rest of our lives.”
“Tomori can be stubborn when she wants to be,” Mutsumi murmured. “When she believes in something, she’ll always find a way to make it real.”
“You can say that again,” Anon laughed. “Tomorin was determined to make sure I would be in the group even when Soyorin didn’t like me much yet. She chased after me when I thought I was going to quit forever… She’s been dragging all of us along since the start, and I think we’ve all learned a lot of valuable things from her.”
“You can’t just say that and not elaborate!” Mortis pressed. “What do you mean?”
“Tomorin never cared about what other people thought about her… Or at the very least, she didn’t let it stop her from being herself the way I did,” Anon answered. “I would’ve spent the rest of my life trying to hide from how I really feel if she hadn’t forced me to be honest about it. I don’t care as much about what others think about me now. She set a good example for all of us to follow. Raana-chan did the same honestly.”
“That sounds like them,” Mutsumi said with a small nod. “I think Tomori still worries about what other people think about her… That’s where her lyrics come from. But you’re right when you say she doesn’t let it stop her as much as other people do.”
“She especially doesn’t let it stop her now that she has a band to lean on,” Anon confirmed. “She’s a lot more confident with the rest of us. I think all of us are more confident now that we’re in MyGO!!!!! honestly. I don’t worry as much about what people think of me anymore since I know there are people who are going to care about me.” Anon flashed her friends a smile and a wink. “No matter how much I get on their nerves, they’re always going to invite me to the next live show! That’s all that matters!”
“I wish that was how it was for us,” Mortis whispered, her eyes wide and full of wonder. “Since Mujica was so public from the start, we’re even more worried about what people think about us now than ever before. People get too invested in what’s going on in our personal life! We’re people too, but you wouldn’t think so with how everyone talks about us online.”
“There’s not much I can do about that… But maybe you just need a coach in learning to not care so much about what others think of you,” Anon teased, twirling her hair with one finger and pointing at herself. “It won’t solve the problem completely, but it might help you to feel a little better about all of this. You won’t know until you try it, right?” If Anon was being honest with herself, this was less about boosting Mutsumi and Mortis’ confidence and more about having extra time to spend with them. She had found their conversation a lot more enjoyable than she expected, and with their live show coming up, Anon was even more invested in talking to them than usual. If their bands were going to get closer, then they may as well make the most out of it and become better friends, right?
“You mean… You would help us with that?” Mutsumi asked slowly. “I thought you said you still worried about what people thought of you sometimes…”
“W-Well, I do…” Anon admitted with a sheepish smile. “But I still think there are things I can teach you! Besides, what better way is there to learn than with someone else?” This felt like the perfect journey for Anon to share with Mutsumi and Mortis specifically. She knew some other members of her band were concerned with image and public presentation too, but Anon doubted any of them had ever been consumed by it quite the way she had. If Mutsumi and Mortis worried about this consistently, then they were certainly her peers in the struggle for acceptance.
“I guess that’s true,” Mortis relented. After a moment of silence, she looked up at Anon with worry in her eyes. “Do you still think you’d want to be famous, Anon-chan?”
Anon’s eyes widened. “I… I’m not sure…” If someone had asked her before this conversation, the answer obviously would have been yes. That was how she started talking to Mutsumi and Mortis in the first place: wanting what they had always known. Now that she had heard of the dark underside to it though, Anon wasn’t sure if it was something she would ever truly crave. If she did decide she wanted to pursue fame at some point, then she was going to have to be a lot more careful than she ever expected. There was more to fame than simple admiration as long as there were people who were fine with hating others just for the sake of it.
“Well, if you ever decide that you do want to try it, then maybe we can help each other,” Mortis offered. “I know all sorts of things about being famous, and we can talk about it if you ever want to. You can show me what it takes to not care so much about what other people think, and I can show you some of the tips and tricks it takes to not tear your hair out when you’re famous.”
“I’d like that,” Anon decided with a smile. Even if she wasn’t actively seeking out fame after learning how miserable it could be, she knew there was always a chance it could happen on its own. MyGO!!!!! was getting more popular, and while it wasn’t anywhere close to the same level as Ave Mujica, she knew her band could catch up to theirs with time. If she did find herself at the heart of fame, then she was going to need to be careful. Anon never imagined there would be so many complications behind it, but now that she knew that was the case, she would have to find a way to be ready for it.
“Perfect!” Mortis grinned. She watched Anon for a few seconds, giving the other girl just enough time to take another sip from her smoothie cup. The drink inside had started to melt because of how much they were talking, and Anon had to sip on the straw for quite a while in an effort to catch up with the growing pool of isolated syrup at the bottom. “I’m really glad we had the chance to talk like this, Anon-chan. I’ve been having a lot of fun.”
“I have been too,” Anon admitted. She had been eager to perform with Ave Mujica for a lot of reasons, but most of them came down to wanting to share the stage with a band she had enjoyed for quite some time. Now, Anon was looking forward to it because it meant she would be able to spend more time with her friends. This show was a great opportunity for her to form more genuine friendships. Maybe she would be able to work her charming magic on Nyamu next and become close with one of her favorite online personalities. If she had already gotten Mutsumi and Mortis on her side, then Anon was sure she could pull it off.
“I think our joint concert is going to be a lot of fun,” Mortis went on. “I’m really looking forward to it. Even if being famous isn’t always all that fun, we really do love performing music like this. Everyone in your band is really good at what they do too. I think this is going to be a show to remember for everyone. I can’t wait to see where it takes us.”
“Me neither,” Anon agreed. “Thank you for talking to me today, Mortis-chan. You too, Mutsumi-chan. It’s been nice to get to know you a little bit better.” This would make any future times Mutsumi and Mortis hung out with her band even more fun too. Mutsumi and Mortis had come to a few of MyGO!!!!!’s hangouts ever since they all spoke at RiNG a few months ago, though Anon was easily the most distant from her. Anon had tried to close that gap a few times, but she didn’t think she had ever succeeded quite like this. She was glad things were finally starting to turn around for them both. It left Anon even more excited for everything they could do in the future now that they understood one another better.
Beyond that, it was nice to know Anon had someone else to turn to if she ever found herself struggling with the pressures of her social life. She loved the rest of her band, but she wasn’t sure if any of them were quite able to resonate with her in this specific way of wanting to alter the way others viewed her. They had opinions on how others thought about them, of course, but Anon knew she was focused on it in a way others around her were not. Mutsumi and Mortis could help her to express it though, and that was a massive step in the right direction.
Anon could hardly believe she had been able to open up this way with them so soon after they truly sat down to have a serious conversation. Anon had never even come close to approaching this topic with her middle school friends, and while she had talked about it a little with the rest of her band, it just felt different with Mutsumi and Mortis. Something about them just pulled Anon in, and she couldn’t seem to look away no matter how hard she tried. Granted, she wasn’t trying that hard to pull back from them, but she knew she was secure with them even if she could not express herself like this around the rest of her peers.
Anon never would have imagined being vulnerable about a topic like this with the people she had once considered friends before joining her band. She couldn’t stand the thought of revealing that she was a person with feelings and struggles as long as she thought there was a chance it would come back to bite her. Being honest wouldn’t do all that much to help her to feel safe when she knew the people around her were constantly judging her. It was normal for others to have opinions of those they ran into, and Anon knew it. She herself had formed a few less than savory opinions of the people around her. None of that was enough to convince her to stop wanting to control the views of those around her to ensure they thought only the best of her.
And yet, Mutsumi and Mortis felt safe to be honest with. Anon didn’t think they were going to go behind her back and talk about her in ways that would ruin her reputation. She hadn’t considered it for so much as a second. She simply felt seen by them, and Anon wanted to enjoy the time they had built for one another. Performing in the same live show had been a convenient excuse for them to talk and get to know each other, and Anon was glad it had fallen into their laps. She wasn’t sure how long it would have taken them to reach this conclusion on their own without that driving motivator.
On Mutsumi’s end, she found Anon to be shining and bright. Mutsumi had always struggled to find her confidence, but Anon was able to embody it so effortlessly. Even though Anon had admitted to being insecure over the course of their conversation, Mutsumi still found her to be wonderful and open. Mutsumi couldn’t ever find the words she needed to convey what she was feeling, and when she tried, she fell short. Anon wasn’t always perfect with what she said, but she kept trying anyway. She still spoke out, and she still made something beautiful out of it. Mutsumi wished she could have that power more than anything.
Anon had so much of what Mutsumi had always wanted. She was an ordinary girl, and she could share her feelings openly without it feeling like a chain around her heart. Anon struggled with how others viewed her too, and it made Mutsumi’s worries about how others saw her feel so much more… Normal. For a while, Mutsumi didn’t need to think about herself through the lens of her celebrity parents. She could sympathize with others her age and know they were going through similar things to her. The scale may have been different, but Mutsumi looked at Anon and saw a kindred spirit.
On top of that, Mutsumi looked at Anon and saw someone she wanted to protect. Mutsumi knew Anon wanted others to like her, but the last thing she wanted was for that to lead Anon to the same places it had taken her. Mutsumi had tried to bend herself into all sorts of shapes for the sake of winning the approval of those around her, and it had ended with dozens upon dozens of roles that called her stage home. They took pride in making those around them happy, and yet, that was never enough to help them fully bring smiles to those they cared for. Somehow, they always made a mistake, and the pressure was always put on their shoulders to handle it. Mutsumi had torn herself apart and left her soul as a shadow of what it otherwise would have been because she wanted others to care about her, and she couldn’t stand the thought of that happening to Anon too.
After all, Anon was full of light. Mutsumi couldn’t care less that some people didn’t like her all that much. When she looked at Anon, Mutsumi saw someone who was more than deserving of all the admiration she had already won. She saw someone who didn’t deserve to spend all her time worrying about what others had already decided was true about her without getting to know her. Anon was a wonderful person with a precious soul, and Mutsumi wished she could be more like her. Mutsumi wasn’t going to force herself to become someone she could not in the pursuit of following in Anon’s footsteps, but she hoped regardless that she would be able to learn more about herself through their bond. Mutsumi wanted to discover more about her heart and her soul through Anon, and she hoped her new friend wanted to do the same with her in return.
Mortis was standing just beside Mutsumi in their internal world as they looked over at Anon, and she found herself taken by very similar feelings to her other half. Talking to Anon had given Mortis a new view of herself and what her life could be like. She didn’t need to worry so much about what others thought of her even though that was the purpose she had set out for herself from the moment she was created within their mind. Mortis could just be herself and still make the people around her happy. There was more to life than constantly pressuring herself to be someone she was not for the sake of making those around her feel better. Anon was proof of it.
Mortis couldn’t say she understood how others could dislike Anon deeply. Anon was optimistic and kind, and even if she was insecure at times, she did what she could to put her best foot forward. She may have been afraid of what it meant to be honest with her feelings, but she was doing it scared anyway. Mortis had never been able to find the strength to attempt something like that. She was so desperate to make sure other people liked her company in the name of safety that being fully honest with her feelings felt impossible. Mortis could be stubborn, and yet, in the face of genuine rejection, she crumbled like a house of cards. Anon was far stronger than Mortis could ever dream to be, and Mortis admired her for it.
Mortis wanted to learn more about what it took to not care so much about what others thought of her. She knew she was never going to be able to outrun the opinions of those around her fully. It was simply impossible as long as she was the daughter of two celebrities. Anyone who knew who Mortis and Mutsumi were was bound to compare them to Minami and Takafumi whether they intended to or not. Even so, Mortis was hoping that one day, it wouldn’t bother her the way it did now. If Anon had managed to push through the fire in her nerves to make it to a place where she was comfortable and accepted, then Mortis wanted to do the same.
In some ways, Mortis envied the way the members of MyGO!!!!! cared about each other. She loved the other members of Ave Mujica, of course. She wouldn’t be in a band if she didn’t want to be around them both on and off the stage. Even so, something about it felt different. In MyGO!!!!!, everyone was open with their flaws, but they were embraced with open arms anyway. They were human and shining in a way Mortis didn’t think she had ever truly felt. In Ave Mujica, Mortis had to play the role of a doll, and while there was peace to be found in that too, Mortis would have been lying if she said she was entirely against the idea of embracing humanity the way her friends in MyGO!!!!! did. The thought was delightful and always brought a smile to Mortis’ face.
Perhaps that was going to be the true blessing of the upcoming joint live show: giving both bands a glimpse into what the other was like when the curtain was pulled back. Mutsumi thought there was no better way to understand a person than through music, and she communicated at her best when she was playing the guitar instead of using her words. Mortis was hoping that would prove to be true in this situation too. She wanted to know what the girls in the other band felt, and she wanted to feel it so deeply in her soul that it changed her permanently and for the better. Mortis wanted to feel human, and against her expectations, she found that Anon had gone a long way in getting her closer to that security. Mortis never would have imagined Anon to be the one who pulled her along like this, and yet, Mortis was glad it had been her all the same.
“I’m glad we had this chance to talk, Anon,” Mutsumi started. This was the most relaxed she had felt in a while, and yet, Mutsumi couldn’t find the words to express her gratitude. She had never been the best at conveying her emotions, and that remained just as true now as it always had been. If Mutsumi was going to communicate what she was feeling, then she was going to have to go beyond words to something far greater.
Mutsumi had heard people say many times before that actions spoke louder than words. She couldn’t say she entirely understood what that meant, but she knew she had to do something about it all the same. Mutsumi leaned in, her eyes slipping shut just before she pressed a kiss to Anon’s cheek. Anon froze in surprise, her cheeks suddenly turning bright pink and blending her skin with her hair. Mutsumi pulled back a moment later, and she watched Anon carefully in search of a reaction. Anon didn’t move even after the kiss was over, and Mutsumi was certain her eyes were going to start burning if she kept staring blankly at the counter for too much longer. Mutsumi, on the other hand, was as neutral as ever, though she could hear Mortis squealing with excitement at the fact that they had kissed a girl. Not even Mortis had expected she was going to do that, though she certainly wasn’t complaining. Mortis loved both girls and feeling understood just as much as Mutsumi did, and if she had been the one in control, she certainly would have done the same.
Mutsumi moved to stand, but she didn’t get much farther than starting to move her seat away from the bar. Seeing Mutsumi move sparked Anon into motion too, and she reached out to claim Mutsumi and Mortis’ wrist between her fingers. Mutsumi turned to look at Anon, and when she did, she found herself captured in a kiss on the lips. Mutsumi and Mortis adjusted the hand in Anon’s reach, shifting so they were holding Anon’s hand instead of her merely clinging to their wrist. Their kiss deepened, and Mutsumi could taste traces of strawberry on Anon’s lips. In return, Anon felt a whisper of matcha on Mutsumi’s skin.
The tastes lingered even after the girls pulled away from one another. Now, Mutsumi and Mortis were flushed just like Anon, though Anon was even more embarrassed than before somehow. Her lungs were heaving for breath, and her face was impossibly red. Even when she was flustered this way, Mutsumi and Mortis both found her beautiful. What they loved from Anon most was the connection they had managed to foster with her that afternoon, and that bond remained even after the kiss was over. Anon’s radiant eyes and soft features only made her even more wonderful to them. Everything about her was precious through and through.
It left Mutsumi wondering how Anon had ever been put in a position to become so insecure in the first place. She was capable of such amazing things, and Mutsumi could see it clearly. If the rest of the world failed to understand, then she supposed that was everyone else’s flaw to handle alone. Mutsumi knew Anon was incredible, and she was glad they had been given the chance to know her. It may have taken time for them to finally start talking as friends and equals, but Mutsumi thought it was more than worth the wait.
“I… I didn’t think you were going to do that,” Anon confessed. Any of her ordinary ease in conversation was long gone, replaced instead by nervous awkwardness. “You don’t do that to every girl you meet, do you?”
Mortis shook her head. “Nope! Just the ones who I really care about.” She offered Anon a small giggle, and Anon looked away, her face growing even warmer from embarrassment. “I wouldn’t do something like that unless I really connected with someone… You’ve got something special in you, Anon-chan. If anyone disagrees, then they just can’t see what I know is true.”
Anon continued to stare at Mortis in shock as she walked toward the door. Mortis hummed and skipped right up the glass, pausing in front of it and turning to look at Anon. “I don’t text very many people, but we should keep in touch, Anon-chan! We can do this again sometime!” Mortis waved cheerily at Anon, and with that, she slipped outside and vanished down the street.
Anon was left stunned and silent long after Mortis disappeared, and her cheeks remained pink with embarrassment. She could barely believe that had happened, and yet, the faint traces of matcha on her lips proved it had been real even when her mind struggled to process it. Anon touched at her lips, and the side of her hand brushed against her cheek. The skin there was far warmer than it had any right to be. Anon hadn’t been flustered like this in quite some time. She didn’t think the reason for the heat had ever been a positive emotion specifically like this. Most of the time when Anon got embarrassed, it was out of shame when she feared she had done something to tank her social standing. Now, she felt something far sweeter, and she wanted to cherish it for as long as she possibly could.
Unfortunately, all Anon had left at the moment were her memories. She looked down at the counter, finding her half-full strawberry smoothie cup and the empty parfait glass as her only companions. At some point in the chaos, Mortis had slipped a bit of money onto the counter to pay for her parfait, so at least she hadn’t picked up the bad habit of not paying from Raana. Anon didn’t know if she would have minded paying for Mortis and Mutsumi’s ice cream even if they had forgotten to leave change though. Somehow, it felt like a fine way to pay them back for such a delightful kiss. Anon had never experienced anything like it.
Anon shook the thought off before it could sink its claws into her too deeply. She didn’t need to let this be a once in a lifetime experience. She could do that again, couldn’t she? Mutsumi and Mortis had felt understood by their conversation, and they had wanted to share that bond with her again. They had implied as much on the way out of RiNG’s dining room, hadn’t they? Anon had offered to help them with their struggles, and they had wanted to do the same for her in return. They were bound to speak again, and when they did… Perhaps Anon would be able to taste the matcha parfait on their lips again.
Anon looked back at her smoothie, and she took a slow sip of it to get through the syrup that had pooled itself at the bottom of the glass. She could hardly believe that at the start of that hour, she had thought the best part of the joint concert with Ave Mujica was the fact that it could rocket her band into fame. Now, Anon knew there was far more to it than that. She didn’t know if she even wanted the fame anymore, and if she did, then she wanted it to come in a different form than what Mutsumi and Mortis were used to. Whether she got famous or not, Anon hoped she would be able to accept Mutsumi and Mortis’ guidance in some way or another. If it would give them a reason to talk, then she was more than willing to take it.
Even if Anon’s band didn’t take off in popularity as she had initially hoped, she knew she would have a chance to talk to Mutsumi and Mortis. She had offered to help them when it came to the opinions of others, and Anon intended to hold true to that. She was hardly an expert on the subject, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She could surely learn something from them. They would both be able to make progress if they took a little bit of time to push through it. Maybe one day, neither one of them would be quite so afraid of the ways in which they were perceived.
Anon could barely believe she had been so vulnerable with them about something so close to her heart that had changed her life in so many ways. She truly feared being seen in a negative light by anyone, but none of that seemed to matter quite so much when she had someone to lean on. Mutsumi and Mortis’ experiences may have been different from hers, but they still understood her well enough. They had still made an effort to get to know her not for what she could project when she was performing but for who she was beneath the surface. Anon didn’t think anyone outside of her band had ever tried to see her that way before, and she wanted to cling to it for as long as she possibly could.
Anon smiled to herself and took another drink of her smoothie. This wasn’t going to be the last time she saw Mutsumi and Mortis, and it wasn’t going to be the last time she was vulnerable and honest with them about how she felt either. Anon wasn’t afraid of it though. If there was anyone she felt she could trust with this, then it was bound to be them. Anon wasn’t sure of how she had lucked into such a close bond with them, but she wasn’t going to complain. Instead, she was just going to wait for the next time they were able to share space with one another.
Anon had struggled many times in the past with performing around others because she wanted them to like her, and yet, she didn’t feel burdened by it when she was with Mutsumi and Mortis. Neither one of them had to perform to earn the attention and approval of others when they were together. It was a safety Anon found precious because of how rare it was, and she intended to savor it as much as possible. How could she possibly turn away from something that had already impacted her so profoundly?
Anon felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and she pulled it out to look at the screen. There was a text notification from Mortis at the top of her recent messages, and it showed a small winking face. Anon smiled down at it and then set her phone on the counter. She knew Mutsumi and Mortis had complicated relationships with technology because of how many times they had been exploited by cameras in public. Despite it all, they were braving their fear just to get in touch with Anon again. It spoke volumes to her, and Anon’s heart skipped a beat at the thought.
Their joint concert was approaching quickly, and Anon couldn’t wait to see how it all ended. Rather than chasing fame though, Anon was looking forward to bonding more with the other members of Ave Mujica. The only thing better than sharing a stage with people she admired was getting to know them as personal friends, and Anon already had her foot in the door. Mutsumi and Mortis were just the beginning, and what a lovely beginning they had already proven to be. Anon doubted anyone else would bond with her quite like they had, but that didn’t matter at all to her. What they had was special, and Anon didn’t want anyone else to replicate it.
Right now, the only thing Anon wanted was another kiss with Mutsumi and Mortis, and it was worth far more to her than any greater acclaim ever could.