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"Just to have it on the record, I hate this plan," Legs said, tugging at the collar of his tunic before glancing from the mirror to Amber.
Amber glanced up from her sword to look at him, quirking her lips to the side. "You agreed to this."
"It's not like we have any other options. Where the hell did you even get this?" he gestured down to the long, dark blue jerkin that went over his tunic, reaching down to his knees.
She smiled. "I have my ways."
He sighed. "Of course you do." Legs picked up the dagger-shaped hairpin from the counter and pulled what he could of his grown-out hair into a low bun, holding it together with the pin before looking back at Amber. "How do I look?"
Amber tilted her head to the side before hopping off the counter. "Like you're about to give Duke Foltrum a heart attack."
Legs glowered. "Maybe then I won't have to go on a date with him. We can say he died of natural causes."
She stepped closer to him, adjusting the high collar of his jerkin. "But then they'll have to get a new prosecutor, and that one wont be guarenteed to have the hots for you."
"Please never say that again."
"Look," she said. "It's just tonight, so we can get dirt on him."
"I wish I was on the team of getting dirt on him. Six feet of it, specifically."
Amber shrugged. "You should've called not it first."
He narrowed his eyes. "It's not my fault Megii is faster."
"Come on, let's get you to your date."
"It is not a date."
"It kinda has to be for this to work."
Legs sighed. "Lets just go."
————————————
"Wow…" Megii raised her eyebrows. "You look… fancy."
"Please don't remind me," Legs rubbed the side of his face, glancing at the light that spilled out from the tavern, contrasting against the darkness that had fallen with the arrival of dusk. "Last chance to swap?"
"Oh, that was not me offering, have fun with him."
Scott looked away from the tavern and at Legs. "Are you… ready for this?"
Before he could answer, Amber spoke. "Oh, don't worry about Legs, he's actually a phenomenal actor."
"I wouldn't say that-"
"You also haven't been a witness to you swapping between nervous anxiety boy and attack dog mode. Regardless, you're good at putting up some sort of front." Amber patted him on the shoulder. "Which is also why you're the honeytrap here and not Megii."
Megii gave her an appalled look. "I would be an excellent honeytrap, thank you."
"Wonderful, then you can go in there." Legs gestured to the door.
"He's expecting you, though."
"Are we sure he'd notice the difference?"
"Just go!" Amber gave his shoulder a light shove. "He's gonna wonder why you're late, and we have to get to his house."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll give you a signal with the rings when he starts heading back." Legs blew out a breath, glancing at the three of them one last time before starting towards the tavern.
There weren't that many people in the tavern itself, but those who were there were sat at the bar, with the painfully noticable exception of Duke Foltrum, sitting at one of the smaller tables.
Legs felt far too overdressed for a tavern, but the Duke did say to dress nice.
It's just one date.
It's not the end of the world.
Please, for the love of the gods, don't murder him yet.
The Duke spotted him, and a smile lit up his face, waving Legs over to the table as he stood. His tunic was a rich purple, detailed with golden embroidery around the buttons, of which he had left the top two undone. His pants were a dark brown, with slight patterns on the fabric that shifted in the light.
"You look… stunning." Duke Foltrum looked him up and down, extending his hand out to Legs as he approached.
Oh, I hate this already.
Okay, get it together. You can do this.
Just a few hours.
Then you can kill him.
Maybe.
Legs managed a smile. "You don't look bad yourself."
The Duke took his hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "I already ordered us drinks, if that's alright."
Ew.
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
This is worse.
Get me out of here.
"Depends on what your taste in liquor is," he retracted his hand, sitting down at the small table and discreetly wiping the back of his hand on his trousers.
He should've worn his gloves.
The Duke sat across from him, picking up his own glass that was on the table and taking a sip of the amber liquid. "Want to guess, or can I tell you?"
Legs picked up the glass in front of him, sniffing the liquor inside. It was a bit sharp, with a smoky undertone. Part of it reminded him of the whiskey that Pyro made, but something was different about it.
"…Whiskey?" he guessed.
The Duke smiled. "Imported from Tegrith. They do something different with the barrels there, apparently. Changes the flavor."
Legs nodded, setting the glass back down on the table. "Good to know that you aren't trying to get me drunk immediately this time."
"What do you mean by that?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Well, the last time we did this," Legs gestured between the two of them. "You offered me fairy wine."
The Duke pressed his lips together, looking away sheepishly. "…You're very observant."
"Dragon riders have to be, Duke Fol-"
"You can call me Crasmius, Legs."
I'd rather shove a knife down my throat.
What kind of name was Crasmius anyway?
"…That's a unique name." Legs managed, tapping his finger against the rim of his cup.
The Duke smiled, taking another sip from his glass. "That's what my parent's thought. They said they wanted me to stand out amongst my peers."
He cleared his throat slightly. "I'm sure they did."
"Are you going to drink?" he asked Legs.
"Oh, um, I'm not a fan of whiskey." He quickly declined. "It's a bit… sharp for my taste."
Absolute lie. He grew up drinking moonshine out of repurposed alchemy bottles. He could handle whiskey.
"Oh, I'm sorry." The Duke smacked his forehead lightly. "I should've asked first. My mistake."
"It's okay," Legs' hand dropped into his lap, glancing around the tavern before pushing out his chair. "I can just grab something from the bar."
"Could you get me some of what you're having?" The Duke smiled. "I'm curious to what you like."
"…Sure."
He rose from the table, pushing the chair in before crossing to the other side of the tavern. The bar was emptier now, everyone having dispersed to different parts of the tavern, the room filling with the sounds of idle chatter.
The barkeep glanced over at him, frowning slightly. "…Are you old enough to be here?"
Legs gave him a deadpan look. "Yes."
Whether or not he believed Legs, he didn't care. He wasn't going to let this whole plan fail because the barkeep thought he was a child.
If anything, it'd fail because he'd been convicted of first-degree murder.
The barkeep sighed. "Do you have a tab open?"
Legs glanced back at the table The Duke was still sitting at before looking back at him. "I don't know if he opened a tab, but he said he was paying. Duke Folcrum?"
The barkeep blinked, looking between him and the table behind him before lowering his voice. "I am so sorry."
Legs sucked in a sharp breath. "Me too. Two Sunset Glows please."
He nodded. "On the house."
"Thank you."
As the barkeep turned away to pour the drinks and take other orders, Legs heard someone else approach the bar beside him.
Please don't be the duke.
Please don't be the duke.
Please, for the love of the gods, don't be the duke.
"So… How's the date?"
Oli.
Oli????
Legs straightened slightly, turning his head to look at Oli and preparing to lie his ass off. "It's just started. We'll see." he paused. "What are you doing here?"
"Well…" Oli scratched the back of his head. "Elaina saw you and Amber leaving and got curious, so she grabbed a few of us to figure out what you were up to."
Legs glanced behind Oli, spotting one of the slightly larger tables, were, sure enough, he saw Elaina.
And Graecie.
And Michela.
And Lukey.
And AJ.
He looked back at Oli. "You're kidding."
"Nope."
Nobody was supposed to know. Nobody was supposed to know about this stupid date, and he was supposed to forget about it after the mission was done.
But now there were witnesses.
Legs was going to murder somebody.
He sighed. "Oli. If I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you can't tell anyone."
Oli blinked. "…O-kay?"
"I'm serious, you can't breathe a word of this to anyone."
His brow creased. "Legs, you're worrying me."
Legs glanced back at the table that the Duke was sat at, before looking back at Oli, lowering his voice. "I'm not going on a date with the Duke because I'm interested in him, I am a distraction so… others can break into his house to get blackmail before Pyro's trial.
"…Oh."
"I cannot stress enough how much I hate this man and how much I want to murder him where he sits, but that is not an option."
Oli paused before speaking. "…You might want to talk to Penrose about that because she got insanely worried about this."
"What?" Legs glanced back around at the tavern, and, sure enough, he spotted Professor Penrose at a smaller table on the other side of the tavern, her red hair covered by a hood, fingers tapping against her drink.
And, not too far from her, was Ser Osteon.
"…You know what, instead of killing the Duke I might just kill myself to spare myself from whatever conversations happen after tonight, actually. I think swallowing knives would be better then the next few days."
The barkeep came back to Legs with two glasses of the orange wine, giving him one last pitying look before walking away without another word.
Oli sighed. "Uh… Good luck, then."
"Thanks."
As Oli walked away, Legs pulled a small vial of Fairy Wine out of his pocket, glancing around before emptying the contents into one of the glasses.
That should do it.
It would be payback for before.
He tucked the vial away and picked up both glasses, turning to walk back to the table.
Fairy wine in the right hand.
Fairy wine in the right hand.
Fairy wine in the right hand.
The Duke had finished his glass of whiskey, Legs' still left untouched in front of his seat. He set the wine glasses on the table, the one from his right hand going in front of The Duke.
"Oh, so you have a… finer taste." The Duke hummed, picking up the glass as Legs sat down.
"You could say that," he twisted the stem of the wine glass before taking a sip from it.
He couldn't afford to get drunk right now, but he had to drink enough to sell the illusion.
Maybe the fairy wine will knock him out before he has to worry about it.
"What type of wine is this?" The Duke asked, taking a sip from his own glass.
"Sunset Glow. A… friend introduced me to it."
"It's very good."
What would be good is watching the blood spill from the Duke's neck after Legs slit it.
The wine was okay.
"Legundo."
Legs almost choked on the small bit of wine he had sipped, his head almost snapping to the side to see Osteon, standing at their table.
"Ah, Ser Osteon," The Duke said, sounding less than pleased.
"Duke Folcrum." While Osteon was often quite good at keeping an even tone, Legs could tell she had the same or more disdain for the Duke.
"Can I help you, Osteon?" Legs asked, clearing his throat. Osteon had addressed him, after all.
"Right. I just wanted to… check on the progress of Iron Keep. I am aware that you got a later start due to other arrangements, and I don't want you falling behind."
"Can't your pestering wait until later?" The Duke glared at them. "We're on a date."
Legs and Osteon shared a brief look before Legs answered. "I can talk to you about progress tomorrow, Osteon. I'll come by your office."
She hesitated before nodding. "Very well. Tomorrow."
"Yes."
The Duke all but shoo'ed Osteon away, leaving the two of them alone again.
Just a few more hours…
———————————
Legs wasn't expecting the fairy wine to kick in that quickly.
He also wasn't expecting what the Duke had in mind after the tavern.
Granted, that could be because the Duke was absolutely wasted and not using what little brain he had.
He could've at least had the decency to wait until they were actually away from the tavern.
At this point, Legs doubted the Duke had any decency. At all.
"I was kinda hoping you'd wear shorter sleeves," the Duke murmured against Legs' jaw, pressing warm kisses into his skin. "I want to see your colors."
He is in stabbing reach. Part of his brain reminded him.
Shut up, I can't do that yet.
"I don't usually show them off. Sleeves just get in the way when I'm working." Legs tilted his head away from the Duke, which did not stop him from pressing closer, almost pinning Legs to the wooden exterior wall of the tavern, the two of them hidden by one of the log supports that held the roof.
"Yea' well, you should." The Duke whispered against his ear, giving his earlobe a small nip. "They make you quite… alluring I think. Makes you nicer to look at."
Nicer to look at.
That immediately put a rancid taste in Legs' mouth.
Blood dripping out of your gouged-out eyes would be nicer to look at.
Legs didn't say that.
"…Thank you." He managed, his nails digging into the Duke's shoulder.
He hummed, his fingers tugging at the collar of Legs' jerkin, managing to unclasp the top fastener and push the fabric down, lips moving to the curve of his neck.
Legs cleared his throat, pushing the Duke back slightly by the shoulder. "Maybe we should get you home."
"Aw, what, you don't want 'em to see you kissin' me?" He laughed, his hands latching onto Legs' waist, pulling him closer and away from the wall.
"Because you're very drunk."
"Drunk on you."
"No, just drunk."
"Well, then maybe I can see where else your colors are," The Duke managed to press a kiss to the side of Legs' mouth "You could show me."
Legs actually wanted to murder this man and dump his body in a river.
It's almost over. Take him back to his house and leave.
"Let's just get you to the caravans." He said, trying to keep the murderous intent out of his voice.
"Whatever you say, bluebird."
Bluebird??
As Legs managed to guide the Duke to the caravans, he reached into his pocket, hand wrapping around the iron rings in his pocket and sending a small surge of mana to Amber.
Hopefully that'd be warning enough.
—————————————
After a quick caravan ride that Legs very much wished he could wipe from his memory, they had arrived at the Duke's estate, a short distance outside the Capital. The Duke could barely walk straight, leaning most of his weight onto Legs, his arm wound tightly around his waist.
"Y' should wear blue more, bluebird," The Duke slurred "You could be my bluebird. I think that'd be nice."
What would be nice would be cutting out your tongue and stuffing it down your throat.
"…I'll take that into consideration," Legs said through gritted teeth. He could only lie for so long, and he doubted the Duke was in any state to remember much anyway.
"Y' should. I could see you allllll the time, my bluebird."
I actually couldn't think of anything worse.
Legs managed to get the door of the estate open, bringing the Duke inside.
As the door closed, the Duke backed Legs up against it, one of his hands sliding up his side while the other pulled at the fasteners of the jerkin.
"You're a very pretty bluebird." He tilted Legs' chin up with a hand, maintaining eye contact. "Maybe not a bluebird. Hmmmm." His thumb brushed against Legs' lower lip. "More like a peacock."
That was somehow worse.
"…That's quite the compliment." He said instead.
The Duke grinned, pulling him closer by the now-open collar of his jerkin, his lips dripping back down to his neck.
Legs could feel his teeth.
It was terrible.
Legs managed to push him away by the shoulder, searching for a quick excuse.
"Before we continue… this, I need to use your bathroom." He said quickly.
The Duke's eyes searched his face before grinning. "I'll gladly show you the way. Then we can have some fun after."
Legs did not like that.
He also didn't like how the Duke's arm remained tightly around his waist as they walked through the estate.
Or that the bathroom he was led to required going through the Duke's bedroom.
He didn't like a lot of things.
Once the door to the bathroom was shut, Legs let out a heavy sigh, leaning against the wooden door.
Holy shit.
The bathroom was quite large, with a toilet, a (way too large) bathtub, and a sink with a large mirror.
And Legs looked like shit.
Most of his jerkin had been unbuttoned at this point, as well as the top buttons of the tunic he had worn under it. Several bruises were starting to form on his neck in various shades of purple.
While he had tied his hair back initially, half of it had fallen out of the low bun. Thankfully, the hairpin was still there—he hadn't wanted to loose that.
Legs rubbed at his eyes before pulling the hairpin out, letting the rest of his short hair fall out from the bun.
He had to get out of here.
He might've been a good liar who could be oddly committed to a mission, but he wasn't sleeping with the fucking Duke.
He wasn't sleeping with anybody.
The very thought of it made Legs feel like he was going to be sick.
Maybe he could sneak out the window. Or say he had gotten alcohol poisoning and needed to leave.
Legs cracked the door open slightly, peering out into the dark bedroom on the other side, to see—
The Duke was asleep.
Already passed out on the (far too large) bed in the almost ornate bedroom.
…Maybe this would be easier than he thought.
Legs exited the bathroom, unbuttoning the rest of his jerkin and tossing it on the floor.
If he ever saw that again, it'd be too soon.
He doubted Amber would miss it.
They had all agreed to use the caravan dropoff near Thawdale as a rendevous point, so all he had to do was get there.
Legs grabbed the very expensive looking bottle of whiskey from the shelf on his way out.
Gods knew he deserved it.
———————————
Legs was very glad that the caravans knew how to be quick, even in the middle of the night.
He liked even better that they didn't ask questions.
After stepping out from the caravan, he squinted into the night, glancing around the area. He had seen no trace of Amber, Scott, or Megii at the estate, so his best assumption was that they managed to clear out before he and the Duke arrived, thankfully.
"Legs?"
He turned around at the sound of Megii's voice, coming to spot the three of them near the treeline. Amber held a lantern, which lit up the dim space.
Amber pressed her lips together, looking at Legs as he appraoched. "You look like you had… fun."
His gaze narrowed. "Two things. One, you owe me several bottles of wine. Two, if I ever agree to anything like that again, just stab me."
"Are those hickeys?"
"Shut up."
Scott had remained uncharactaristically quiet, but Legs was too tired to ask.
Megii solemnly patted his shoulder. "Once we get Pyro out of jail, you can have all the wine you want. And with what we found, it's almost guarenteed we're gonna win."
"Thank the gods."