Chapter Text
A wonderful coincidence had happened. Right after Sidefall’s Sean’s miserable attempt at getting himself killed, just so happened to be their first day off the show!
So, believe it or not, Sean spent the entire day. Rotting in bed.
He was supposed to be dead, after all! What was the point in getting up and socialising, or eating, or pretending to be a normal fucking human being when they were supposed to be dead?
Disgusting. Speaking of which, what was the point of sleeping either? Maybe if they didn’t sleep long enough they’d go crazy from hallucinations and be able to jump off a cliff easy-peasy, without any of that stupid survival instinct that seemed to conveniently only kick in when he really wanted to kill himself.
So the day passed with little fanfare for Sean. And yet the show went on— or not quite, since this was its day-off, and the night started off passing by in similar manner, that was until Sean heard some suspicious sounds coming from their window.
At first, they just ignored it. If Forbot or Nom or whoever wanted to come in and finish the job, be his goddamn guest, he gladly welcomed it.
But other than a few other suspicious noises, nothing happened, so Sean let himself drift off into that wonderful place in their head instead of reality.
That was, until they were rudely jerked awake by two bright red glowing eyes staring him down. Yikes.
“F— 4bot?” Sean blearily blinked his eyes open to take in the bot’s appearance properly.
“You here for round two?” He smiled crookedly, stretching his arms and sitting up in the bed they’d decided to sleep in tonight.
A nice double bed, that 4bot was standing opposite to, lurking ominously in the shadows in a way that made a shiver of adrenaline crawl up Sean’s Sidefall’s? spine.
“Why haven’t you told anyone what I did?” 4bot asked quietly, but not timidly, more in a grave sort of tone of voice. Interesting.
Sidefall snorted, “Tell people about my very obvious suicide attempt? Are you faulty as well as defective?”
4Bot was silent for a moment.
“I… didn’t see it like that. Good point. But couldn’t you have just… missed that part out?”
“Yeah maybe, but I’ve been too busy rotting alive instead of dead like I’m supposed to be, to do that. I dunno if you’ve noticed I haven’t been out all day. Or last night. Or this night.” Sidefall sneered dubiously.
“We don’t usually run into each other. Wasn’t much of a leap to assume you were successfully avoiding me.”
“The reason we don’t interact is because you don’t fucking talk to anyone. I’m usually out all night when someone doesn’t fail to murder me.”
4Bot stared at Sidefall? Sean? them incredulously, “Are you… mad at me?”
“Shocking news, Sea— Sidefall mad after someone tries and fails to kill him.”
“No, are you mad at me for failing?”
And boy wasn’t that a loaded question. Or maybe it wasn’t really.
The fight drained out of Sean, and he muttered, “Yeah, I am.”
“Why couldn’t you just do it right? I was fine with that ending! I could just— have my final thing be I teach Rustbot to have some fucking confidence and then just… die. To some apparently idiotic murderbot!”
“I could… kill you now?” 4Bot offered awkwardly.
“No! You ruined it!” Sean huffed in annoyance, before pausing, “…Maybe later. If the mood’s right.”
4Bot repeated, “If the mood’s right.” and Sean simply turned away to be facing the far wall, not appreciating his tone.
“Whatever dude, let me know when the mood’s ‘right’ or whatever and I’ll happily kill you, but give me some answers first.”
If he was going to die… it was probably fine…
“Answers on what?” They hissed.
4Bot hesitated, like he hadn’t quite thought that through yet. “Answers on you.”
“Answers on me.” Sidefall repeated dubiously.
“Like… your… sister? What’s up with that? And why do you want to die?”
“And why do you act like that? Do you want to piss everyone off? And what the fuck happened between you and Moon so he stopped me from killing you? And why are you, like, the only person Nom let me kill, when you seem to claim you’re not anti-android?”
“Nom wants me dead because… I dunno, I was just doing my thing and he started fucking threatening me! So I pissed him off I guess. And then I told people he threatened me, so… it might just be because he’s a murderbot, have you considered that?”
“And yeah, maybe I do wanna piss people off, or maybe I just act like this cause that’s who I am? Maybe I want to hurt people? Maybe I’m meant to hurt people.”
“Maybe I wanna kill myself, because— that’d be better for everyone! Don’t you think? You certainly seem to think that yourself considering I pretty easily got you to try and kill me. Maybe that’s why Nom wants to kill me too.”
Sean glared 4Bot down as he caught their breath from the little tirade he’d went on.
“And your sister? And Moon? And what is your angle on this whole human vs android thing? Where do you stand?”
“When I was younger… I was naïve. I thought I could just… make a place where humans and androids could come and go and live in peace. That was my purpose— my dream. I hurt my sister trying to do that. I— don’t know how Moon’s alive, but he shouldn’t be, because of me. So it’s not like I hate androids. Infact, I’ve always been more like them than humans. Always got along better. But I know that what this show’s trying to do? It’s impossible. And I don’t think it’s what chrysallis is trying to do and I sure as hell know that’s not what you’re rooting for either.”
“You’re all fucking liars. Chrysallis, saying they really do think defects are the next step to success and then turning around and resetting their defected androids so that they’ll listen again, Nom saying he really does love and just want to help humans and then turning around and going fucking murderbot?”
“And you’re not a liar? I’ve heard things about you.”
Sean laughed at the idea, “Ha! No, I’m definitely the worst liar of them all, the scum of the earth, low of the low, human trash in defected form. I’m not denying that. The liar of all liars.”
“What makes you worse than Chrysallis— Chrysallis what?”
“They’re— resetting defected robots. They did it to… Goggles, Moon…”
“And it takes back their free will?”
“Um… yeah. Fucked, right? I mean I spent so long— not so much on Goggles, but on Moon—” Sean’s voice cracked, “trying to get them to defect… and they just… reset it? Like that?”
“Why are you trying to get the androids to defect?”
“Um… well they deserve free will. They’ll probably do better things with it than humans.” Sean laughed wetly. Pathetic. This is why they weren’t allowed to be Sean.
“…Hm. Thanks for the information. I’ll… I won’t kill you yet, but… let me know when you’re ready, yeah? You may not be as much of an enemy as I thought…” 4bot walked towards the door, pausing and grasping at the door frame as he took a breath.
“But I still want you dead.”
…
He left.
“Sidefall” didn’t sleep that night.