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“One to infinity” Niang gently murmured into the air. His sharp eyes transfixed on the gentle strands of light that made its way through the window, somehow, it was a rainy day in London as per usual. He turned his head and closed his eyes once to awaken his senses before opening them to two amber feline eyes staring into his.
“Good morning to you too, Baraka, nyan” The curves of his mouth uncontrollably shaped a smile at the sight of the feline. Niang twirled his body around so that they were nose to nose, Baraka rubbed his head against the soft flesh of Niang’s face. The fur was smooth and soft, with a velvet like appearance, he propped himself with his elbows, his back arched slightly as his hand moved gracefully through the air to meet the forehead of Baraka. Through his gentle undulations of the forehead, Baraka started to purr against his hand and pushed for more by blindly bumping his head towards any area his elastic body allowed him to reach.
It was these quiet dreary mornings that allowed him to reevaluate himself, he closed his eyes and began to think. One body and one soul, yet its individuality should be vanquished in the name of infinite progress. It was a noble thing, that the theorem of togetherness was in itself endearing and worthy of usurping the ego. Although usurping would indicate a violent extraction of ego. Instead, the word best or besting would do more good to describe the process of defeating one’s ego, it portrayed a tranquil feeling, it was more positive. The synchronicity of the team was something he was to find in his spirit.
One breath in……..then out. He continues the mind-numbing repetitions in counts of 4. His body felt light, as if he were to be carried off to the heavens. An installation of faith it proved to be, one to infinity, his body an instrument out of many instruments to one successful goal desired by the many. To be a puppet towards a greater goal.
Then he felt the most unusual feeling, something he didn’t know how to describe. Something that was completely different from the delightful buoyant feeling from before. His tongue became heavier as if something was tethering it to his body, yet it also felt out of place not willing to completely surrender itself to its chains. Niang pondered despite his state of perceived mindlessness, at least, mindless towards Baraka who had moved from bumping his head for affection and instead deciding to sit on his chest to purr, sending vibrations through Niang’s body. Niang didn’t know what to make of this confusing feeling, the augmentation of his breath exceeded the counts he was instructed to strike. Niang continued to dwell on this abnormality in his body, his soul perhaps. Ah. His body was fighting against the notion of spirituality, the odd tethering to this mortal vessel was a subconscious attack on his being.
The chains of fear and ego prevented him from becoming a useful puppet, pride is to be broken, and ego is to be stomped as those two qualities encumbered him from serving his team as he was obligated to do. One to Infinity, One body, One mind, One Goal. He tried once again.
One breath in….. Then out
…
In…. out
A voice appeared
One to Infinity
In…. out
You are a puppet. I am the worthless puppet who, under unity, will lead our team to greatness.
In….out
Your body is to be used as a …. His mind muffled the word... For a greater goal, one bigger than yourself
In…. out
Forget your ego, your pride. Those things are worthless to you and us.
……
Give in.
Then it was as if something snapped, Niang entered that dream like trance again, once again was he so completely enveloped by weightlessness. The world was tilted on its axis, and he found that his body was no longer bound by the fetter of his former ego, he was transformed into a tool for a greater purpose. No longer was he bound by skin or bone, even the edges of his visions seemed to spread far beyond his mortal comprehension. Niang’s body floated with ease, as if he were oil on water, two planes of existence which separated his ego from his mind and dared not to mix the two. He glanced down and looked at his body which laid peacefully below
him. Baraka laid on his chest, silent just like the body he positioned himself on comfortably, as if he understood Niang’s sacred rite of passage, as if he knew the sanctity of the moment. Truly a blessing.
Niang was nothing, he came to comprehend that now. He did not feel the familiar beating of his heart, nor did he register the weight of his body that he had long since become accustomed to. Niang’s body was slowly being pulled by something bigger than himself, something vast and all-encompassing, however, despite it being ubiquitous; it was something easily discarded in the name of human arrogance which was accompanied by the usual twins of pride and ego. It was a silent thing that he couldn’t quite describe, it was infinite. He had now decided he would give his body to the thing, to this something he couldn’t put a name towards.
One to Infinity.
He curiously floats towards his body down below, taking a second to process his face, absolute calm washed over his body, the prior hesitant finger now touches the bit of forehead between his hidden brows with new solid understanding. Everything transforms into a world of color, the physical pull of gravity takes hold of him ... .The world becomes silent, then it’s black.
Niang opens his eyes, his surroundings blurry. It takes a minute before he realizes that tears are cascading down his cheeks and into his ears, only a few drops make it to the pillow he had rested his head upon. Baraka stands up and walks one inch up to stare into his eyes and Niang stares back. Baraka leans down and puts his forehead to his, despite his experience, Niang is, of course, still a mortal he inferred due to his slight confusion at the gesture. His body's aforementioned weightlessness had become somewhat troublesome, he lifted a heavy limb to pet Baraka but he could not, willing the burdensome weight of gravity to have mercy on his hand, he roughly, without grace, landed on the top of Baraka’s body. Baraka moved in protest, and left him to go sit by the windowsill. Niang could do nothing but watch. He tried to talk but even that felt heavy, then he was able to get out one scramble of words without sounding like an unintelligible mess.
“One to Infinity, Nyan.” His individualistic quirk had stayed; however, he felt hope swell within him, he would serve his purpose dutifully he thought. One to infinity, as he had was permitted to say, for the team. Baraka looked back to Niang and tilted his head before meowing a delightful note, a crescendo that matched the euphoric feeling of having a purpose to serve a cause greater than himself.
However, it was brought to light, an idea that had betrayed his own reverence of puppetry. It was an agonizing betrayal, to reach this far but still be held back by the human ego. Was it not enlightenment he reached when he looked down upon his own body from a higher place? Then, was it not enlightenment he reached when he saw the world for what it was. Did he truly have to discard his full ego to become a puppet, a worthless puppet when it came to self but useful when controlled by a puppeteer?
To become like that guy on the team, who had completely forgotten what it was like to be human. Niang did not want that, did he?
Would it be so bad to become a soulless thing controlled by someone greater than he. Was it not what the team he had worked so hard to play on wanted from him, from each other? Then why, exactly, would his body fight so hard against it…
He hummed in thought, a confusing trial it was, he had reached a point but had only teetered on the edge of achieving. He once again locked eyes with Baraka who only stared back at him. Niang felt different, he didn’t feel like….. Niang.