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The last thing April expected to come home to was Casey frantically tossing his dirty laundry over the couch. Standing in the doorway with her mouth hanging open, she watched him stuff the throw pillows under the couch and turn to give the coffee table a wide-eyed look of confused distress.
"Casey!" April shouted. "What— What on earth are you doing?!"
Casey jumped in surprise at her shout, tripping over a dirty sock and falling backward onto the pile of laundry on the couch. "A-April!" he greeted nervously. "Babe! Uh, wha-what're you doin' here?"
"In my home?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow.
With a nervous chuckle, he pushed himself to his feet and slowly approached her. "I just meant like, what're you doin' here now?" he said, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling sheepishly. "Ain't the shop open fer another couple hours?"
"It was pretty dead today so I decided to close up early," April said flatly. "So I could come home and relax. Spend time with my loving boyfriend. Not clean up random messes for no particular reason."
"I can explain!" Casey blurted, holding his hands up in front of his chest.
April smiled sweetly. "I would love to hear that explanation!"
Opening his mouth to speak, Casey faltered. He pointed at her, then gestured to the dirtied living room, then opened his mouth again. "Uhhh…"
"Of course! It all makes sense now!" April threw her hands up. With a sigh, she rubbed between her eyebrows and gave Casey a pleading look. "Casey. Just explain to me. Why were you making a mess of the living room?"
"So… So it wouldn't look like ya live here?" he mumbled sheepishly.
April narrowed her eyes and said in a low voice, "I think you're going to need to be very careful explaining why you would want our apartment to look like I don't live here."
"No no, it's nothin' bad, babe!" Casey protested, waving his hands in front of him. "I just… Look, my ma's comin' to visit me an' she don't know we're…y'know..." He leaned closer and whispered, "Livin' in sin."
Raising an eyebrow, April gave him an unimpressed look.
"Look, my ma's always raggin' on me about that kind'a thing," Casey said, shoulders slumping. "I don't want her ta get a bad impression of ya. Not after ya made such a good one at the farm."
April held her expression for another moment, then sighed, moving toward her boyfriend to pull him into a hug. "That's…sweet, I guess? But also a little dumb, Casey. You really thought throwing dirty laundry on the couch would work? I have bras hanging in the bathroom to dry, sweetie."
"…Oh."
Chuckling, April pulled away just enough to look up at him and smile. "You big lug."
A loud knock at the door interrupted anything Casey might have said and he suddenly froze, arms tightening around her.
"Arnold!" Mrs. Jones called through the door, before knocking loudly again.
Casey groaned and let go of April, stepping around her to open the door. As soon as it opened, he plastered a smile on and spread his arms wide. "Ma! You're…here! Early. You're here early. I wasn't expectin' you fer another half hour."
"Traffic wasn't as bad as usual," Ma Jones said, giving him a quick hug and then shoving past him into the apartment.
"Mrs. Jones!" April greeted her. "What a pleasant surprise."
Ma Jones frowned at that. "What's surprising? I told Arnold I was comin'." She turned to glare at her son. "Didn't you tell her I was comin' over?"
"Wha-Whaaat?" Casey asked nervously, looking away. "Wh-Why would I tell her?"
Raising an eyebrow at him, Ma Jones said, "Because this is her home an' it's common courtesy? I know I raised ya to have common courtesy, Arnold."
"April don't live here! We ain't married yet!"
Both women stared at Casey as a nervous sweat broke out on his face.
"'Yet'?" April whispered, starry-eyed.
Ma Jones gave a deep, disappointed sigh. "Oh Arnie," she said, patting him on the cheek. "I only told ya to wait till marriage 'cause you were a horndog of a teenager an' I didn't want ya gettin' some poor girl in trouble. April seems like she's got a good head on her shoulders, at least enough ta manage her own birth control."
"Thanks?" April said uncertainly.
"You're welcome."
April and Casey shared a bewildered look as Ma Jones straightened and clasped her hands behind her back.
"Now, the reason I came to visit is 'cause I wanted ta know if ya had the phone number for that handsome, well-spoken gentleman who was hidin' out in the barn when ya visited a couple months back." She paused before clarifying, "The one with the grey hair, not the green one."
Casey choked on air for a moment before shouting, "Ma!"
"What?" she demanded indignantly. "I may be yer ma, but I got needs. An' yer dad's been gone a long time."
"He's a mutant rat!"
"I like 'em hairy! Yer dad was a very hairy man, Arn."
"It ain't hair, it's fur!"
"You think that means he shampoos it? Betcha it's soft." She wiggled her fingers and leered.
April and Casey shared another look and grimaced.
Pulling up the contacts on his phone, Casey sighed and selected his vigilante buddy. After a few rings, Raph picked up and grunted, "What?"
Casey cleared his throat awkwardly. "Hey, uh, Raph?"
"What's up, Case? Ya sound like yer in trouble."
"Only from my own imagination."
"Huh?"
"Nevermind. Listen, uh… Does Master Splinter have a phone?"
"Yeah? He ain't great at usin' it, but Donny made sure he can at least answer when we call."
"Right, right. Uh…"
"Why?"
"My… Ugh, my ma wants his number."
Raph snickered. "Awww, what? She wanna set up a play-date for ya?"
"I wish. Nah, more like a date-date."
There was silence on the line for a moment before Raph growled, "What the shell, Casey?"
Casey winced. "Look, I ain't happy about it either, but she insisted I ask!"
"That's my dad, Casey!"
"An' it's my ma askin'!"
"She knows he's a rat, right? A mutant rat?"
"Apparently she likes 'em hairy," Casey said miserably, then gagged a little.
"It ain't hair, it's fur!"
"That's what I said!"
In the background he could hear Mikey ask something, then Raph replying, "Casey's ma's got the hots fer Master Splinter."
"What?!" Mikey shouted loud enough to be heard over the phone.
"Right?"
"Wait, would that make Casey our step-brother?"
"…Mikey, I swear—"
"Hey Casey!" Mikey shouted. "If your mom dates our dad would that make us step-brothers?"
"Oh my god," Casey whispered, feeling a new level of dread unfold in front of him. The turtles were okay as friends and April's weird surrogate little brothers, but he wasn't sure he could handle being related to them or—
"Oh my god, would Splinter be my step-dad?!" he blurted.
"Only if he plays his cards right!" his ma called from the living room, where she and April were drinking tea and gossiping.
"I'm hangin' up now," Raph said flatly.
"I'll text you dad's number, big bro!" Mikey shouted from the background, then started cackling.
"That ain't funny, shell-fer-brains!" Raph shouted. There were briefly sounds of a scuffle before Raph remembered to hang up.
Casey stared down at his phone, numb, as he contemplated the horror of a mutant rat step-dad and mutant turtle step-brothers. Before he had time to spiral for too long, his phone buzzed to indicate a message had been received. When he opened it up, his entire body drooped with disappointment.
Mikey had just texted him a phone number.