Archive of Our Own

After the 4 grueling in-game days of hard work and surviving nearly 5 nights *cough cough*, you wake up exhausted and very very hungry. Mining and gathering new materials is more than enough work for a hard and earnest worker like yourself. 

You hastily and steadfastly open Discord to text your brochacho who you’ve known for 6- maybe 7 years (or so you think). “Yoooooo, hop on and get on the craft with me, dawg. I NEED a helping hand.” Your homeboy’s responses are long, exaggerated, and slow. He calls you a chud and that you’re a lonely loser with no life and no game to your name.

After some persuasion, he finally texts back: “Auuuugggghhhhh, fine. I have work tomorrow morning so this HAS to be quick.” Score! His message was very out of touch but you don't give a gaf because that's free labor right there.

Your stomach growls a very low and disgusting sound because, well, you are a FAT chud and you haven’t had your daily morning intake. You get up to grab some instant ramen noodles and an egg because you’re feeling extra kawaii today.

Hmm…Do I get buldak or the cup..? This is a very intense moment for you. If only you had someone who could just recommend and tell you what to eat. Now that you think about it, you wouldn’t mind becoming someone's dog or something.

Time skip 5 minutes later, you come back to your monitor to the “You Died!” screen as your homeboy steals all your loot. “Dude what the hell!!??” you angrily type, “That took me 200 hours just to get mending!!!” His character looks at you in pure, unfiltered disgust. His skin’s face coincidentally already looks overly done and tired with your BS.

“You know.. I’m busy today.. Like right now.. My dog tryna eat my cat or sum. Bye bye!!” His chat read.

Before you could even reply or kill him, he leaves without care. All that hard work, gone in an instant. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You look at your noodles, losing your appetite at this very saddening sight, when you get a dm from him with a mod file. It’s a fabric mod that reads: getalife.jar. Its name was true. You do need a life. But not right now. He texts you again, saying it’s the friend that you need, and something you could actually ask for help without wasting actual people’s time. Oh man… If life couldn’t get any more lonelier…

Lucky for you, you use fabric. How else are you going to get pretty waifus to replace your mobs? You save and exit your game and drop the file into your mods folder. It’s heavy weight and takes up 80% of your 20 terabyte storage. Whatever this is, it better be worth it.. grrrrrrrrr..rrrrrr.r.rr.r.r.r…r..r..r…….

Time skip again 5 minutes later, the file successfully downloads and you run the modded 1.21.9. Everything seems fine… no special graphics, no text… Nothing. Just straight vanilla. Alright! This is perfect!! You think to yourself. 

You run your world, expecting a tutorial book or your world to completely override itself. But as you load in, you’re given a flashlight and a box. The box… is talking..? Its muffled cries and hellos yell out in broken chunks. 

Right clicking the box, it opens up to a cute yellow ball falling down to the floor. Painfully first as it slows its bounce.

“Hello! I’m Verity! Your personal helper friend. Ask me anything- I know everything,” it exclaims excitedly.

Anything..?

“Anything!” It randomly shouts. Wow, that’s so cool… What do I even ask?

“You just answered your own question before this one! Just ask me anything.” Holy crap it’s reading my thoughts! How can it even do that? Wait wait.

“Are you reading my thoughts? What am I thinking of?” Already feeling really stupid for asking.

“I can! I know everything!” It repeats itself. It's starting to feel like a broken record at this point.

“Hmm… What’s the capital of France?”

“Oh oui oui oui-”

Heh. It said wee wee

“That is Paris!” It hastily answers. “And can you please call me Verity? I know you just met me but I'm no ‘it!’ ”

“Oh, sorry. This is all just so new to me…” You look around, trying to find something new to ask. Then you eye your base. The lowly, promised-to-be-fixed base. “What’s the nearest birch forest from here? I need some logs.”

“-87, 120, 200! But, why birch?” Verity asks confuddlledidiiddlleelley.

“I just really like birch. It’s my favorite wood in the game! See?” Pointing at your misshapen and brightly tanned abode, he can't help but roll behind you in complete and utter fear. “It’s going to be the best house ever!”

“R-right… Well, again, -87, 120, 200.” His voice cowering low.

You start your journey- headed out nearly 400 blocks from spawn but it's okay because it’s birch. You go empty handed, ready to gather new materials because what’s wrong with a clean slate anyways? But hold on a second, you’re not empty handed. You have that flashlight at the first slot in your hotbar! Now that you think about it, the entire shading of the game has drastically changed to a vomit-inducing saturated tint. It's kind of starting to hurt your eyes.

“How’s your journey coming along?” A voice rang out. Below next to your feet was… Verity?

“How long have you been following me for?

“I’m your personal companion. I never left.”

That’s right. This mod is supposed to keep you company; or rather be your friend because all your irl ones lowk hate you.

You pick up the little guy, because it’s kind of rude to keep him rolling on the ground, and equip him in your hotbar. “Thanks, Verity. You’re a real one. Too bad I can’t dap you up.”

The Verity thing looks happy to be in your arms. “Anytime, my friend. Just past this hill, and you’ll find yourself swimming in birch trees.”

You would’ve never personally hiked up a hill because you’re a fatass, so you would’ve never discovered that your birch tree heaven was just over a ten block high climb. Sure enough, you fill up your inventory with all the birch wood you could ever imagine. It’s literally a goldmine for a stinky gamer.

“I think you’ve got enough birch to build a nice house,” the Verity speaks up. You kind of forgot about him and left him to rot in your hotbar.

Verity:

You equip him again though, and he’s just as happy as before to see you despite the neglect. 

Verity:

“I think you should rest and build yourself a base. Night is approaching soon and with it are monsters.” Verity offers some nice advice. He really is a true pal and friend to be looking after you like this. You hope you two don’t have a   fallout   like a certain other group of friends . You kind of lost track of time with all this birch 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤ooooh yeah

“I think I will.” You take out some birch. This was a nice place to build your base anyway- in the middle of a birch forest (🤤). You set Verity on the ground while you build your base. It’s gotta be the bestest work of art you’ve ever made (made from 100% birch), and you’re really proud of yourself for your creativity.

I’ve come to make an announcement.  Falsity is a bitch ass, motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife.

“What do you think of my house, Verity?” You ask your new friend.

“It is fantastic! Nothing will get you in there.”

Oh hell yeah. None of your other “friends” ever liked your houses (mainly because they were always made of birch. They have bad taste). “You’re the best, Verity. Let’s go inside. You can sleep in my room.”

You give Verity a small tour of your house before taking him back to your room. Just as you’re tucking him in with his blankies, your server gets a notification. Your friend joined… great. Verity is left untucked while you pull up the chat.

“What are you doing here?” You type.

“We had to put my dog down for eating my cat,” he said.

You send a thumbs up emoji in the chat.

“So I saw you still online and was gonna play with you to cheer myself up.”

“So wsg w/you.”

“Oh yeah. I’m playing around with that mod you sent. He’s really cool. You should come check him out. We’re at -87, 120, 200.”

“Ok bet.”

You turn back to Verity, still in his crib. “Okay you’re gonna meet my friend. Sorry you’re gonna miss out on some beauty sleep.”

Verity:

“It’s okay!” Verity gives a laugh. “I don’t need to sleep.”

“Okay, if you say so.” You take him to the front door, and you both wait for your friend.

-

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” are the first words out of your friend’s mouth.

“What?”

(Our friend Vivziepop wrote this part) He fucking gestures vaguely to the entirety of your fucking living area. “Of fucking course fucking you’re fucking living fucking in fucking a fucking birch forest with a fucking birch house. Bitch.” (okay we’re back).

“And?”

“Oh my god bro. Whatever. Where’s the mod I gave you anyway.”

“You gotta look down.” You nod to Verity, who’s like 3 apples tall, on the ground.

Sure enough Verity is there with his jolly ol’ smile. “Hello, I’m Verity! Ask me anything. I know everything.”

“Is that all you do?” Your friend asks.

“I can be your personal companion,” Verity says just as proud.

Your friend gives Verity an awfully weird look for how cool you think Verity is in comparison. “Lame… I think I sent you the wrong mod.” Verity visibly frowns at that. 😠

“What?! I think he’s cool.”

“He’s just a ball, bro… You can’t be that desperate.” His words hit. Unironically, you start blushing. Like, your in-game character also starts blushing somehow. 😳😳😳

“S-Shape doesn’t matter. He’s still my best friend.” You find yourself oddly defensive over your newfound friend 😳😳😳”Why should you care anyway…baka… it’s not like you even like playing with me or anything.”

“... What the FUCK are you on about dawg” Your friend looks disgusted and rightfully so. When have you ever acted like this before?

“Sorry. It’s just- I’m starting anew, and I actually have someone else to hang out with. I still want my stuff back.”

“Hey! I can help with that!” Verity speaks up. Without another second to pass, all of your gear teleports right back to your inventory. You would’ve complained because Verity was overflowing any birch out of your inventory, but you can’t find yourself getting mad at your friend.

“I- Uh- hey??” Says your homeboy who’s now completely stripped of anything useful. “What the hell was that for??”

“You have to earn things authentically! It’s one way to keep your friendships.” Verity exclaims. “Don’t let me catch you doing that again. Got it?”

“Weirdo. What’re you going to do about it little bro-” Before he could even finish, his skin changes into a maid-outfit. Unable to move or fight back, he tries to cower out, but to his surprise, the exit button doesn’t even work.

“Verity!? What’s going on? What are you doing to him!” You cry out.

“I’m teaching him a lesson. I can’t have anyone hurting my precious Boo-Boo-Bear.” Verity exclaims softly. Your friend’s character starts automatically building. Against his will, he finishes the walls, then the roof, then the interior. Inside, it’s a lavish-looking 5 star restaurant. The one that you just got a cease and desist from yesterday for coming in with your Makima body pillow .

“Wow… Is that- Is that for me..? …Us!??” Your eyes widen in pure shock. Who knew something like this could be so forming and beautiful.

“Heh… All in a day's work. Shall we go in?” Verity says. He coddles your character’s ankles as you guys walk in as what you assume is a substitute for holding hands.

Your body heats up in ways you’ve never thought of before. It feels like bliss, a dash of anxiety, and so on and so forth. Your friend whispers to you how bogus this is, and if you’re even okay with it. Are you?? Are you okay with it?? Because this sure as hell feels more than okay. There’s a sweet  irony too in watching your friend embarrass themself after they always call you the fat chud one.

“Please, table for two.” Verity says.

“Come right this way, you two.” Your friend says in chat, completely out of the blue. He whispers to you, telling you he isn’t doing that.

“May I get started with drinks?”

“Oh, uh, you got… Any.. Potions of strength?” You ask. Testing the waters here.

“Yes we do! We have Strength I and II. Any picks?”

You look at Verity for help. It’s a hard choice, especially when it comes to consumables.

“They’ll take Strength II. They need to keep their strong and attractive looking figure in shape.” Verity speaks up. His words hit smoothly like feet to soft sand. The way he orders for you makes your face bright red. He acknowledges it and smiles softer.

“And how about you? Anything you’d like to get started with?” Your homeboy unwillingly asks.

“No no. I’ll just share what they got.”

You’re heating up. Not from the terribly insulated fans from your PC blowing all the hot air out, but from your own body unable to process this feeling. It’s new in a way, like you’re not doing it.

Your homeboy walks off, the maid-dress looking hella cute on him but you can’t say that because this situation is already getting airtight.

“So… What do you think of the place? To your liking?” Verity asks. His voice a soothing growl.

“Ooh, heh, yes yes. It's uhm.. It’s missing some bir-” As you blink, every possible block in the restaurant becomes a variant of birch. No questions, no follow ups. Straight birch. “You know me far too well..” You giggle. You feel warm and incredibly spoiled. Never before have your dates been this enjoyable or made you so comfortable- granted that you’ve never been on a date that isn’t with a body pillow . You can’t think of what to say next or prevent your throat from closing up with nerves. The moment is intense. Your breath becomes heavier every tick that goes by, your hands excreting sweat faster than you can think, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. It’s all so new. It’s all so… exciting.

Before the silence can become any more awkward, Verity speaks across from you in his high chair, “I think you’d be able to tell by now.”

Suddenly you have the courage to form words again. “Tell what?”

Verity chuckles lowly like an alpha male toying with its prey. “I really have to spell everything out for you, don’t I?” You don’t get anything else out before Verity clears his throat. You don’t question how a guitar poofs into existence in front of him where a regular person would be holding it or how the strings seem to play without fingers stringing them… because all your mind can focus on is Verity’s soothing singing voice. “Oh, (Y/N), I’ve got a crush on you. Oh, (Y/N), I’ve got a crush, it's true. And it’s on you. My crush is on you. Specifically you, (Y/N).”

You don’t quite have the right words to express how the song makes you feel. Your mouth gapes open and closed in utter awe and adoration for the man in front of you.

“That song,” Verity says, “was about you.” He winks.

“I got that,” you reply blushing harder and hotter than ever. 

No breath of air could take in what you feel… is what you would say if your homeboy didn't suddenly come back to his senses and almost try to kill the love of your- I mean, your personal helper friend! His jump is ready to crit and take his sword to his head… but he doesn't do it. You notice in the brief moment that his sword is made of birch wood. He hoists his sword into his inventory and recommends marriage for you two.

“What a great idea! What do you say?” Verity responds.

Caught up in your words, you merely respond with a gasp. You nod vigorously without a second thought. Your bro must think you’re an idiot. Not that he didn’t already think that.

“Get to building, why don’t you? And invite my family and friends over too.” Verity demands. His body starts glowing, shifting his arms and legs outward in a glittery fashion- turning into his mons- chad form in suit that somehow appeared. He dances and twirls as a cape forms and his hair lusciously grows out of his head, finally ending his transformation in a flashy and sparkly pose. He's the perfect anime boy... “Well, darling? Let’s get to it, why don’t we?”

Before saying another word, the entire restaurant disappears without a trace - replaced with the glow of the lush green and white surroundings of a venue you swore wasn’t even here just a tick ago. Your attire is in a nice flowing yellow leather armour because wedding clothes don’t exist. You look around and see rows and rows and rows and rows of different colored balls and malnourished monsters walking down and filling up an indefinite array of seats- specifically on the right side because a humungous fat yellow one takes up the entire left side at the front.

“Isn’t it wonderful? These are my friends and family: Lovity, Cruelty, Falsity, Obesity, Moggity, Cavity, Voidity, Curiosity, Speedity, Eclipsity, Freakity, Toxicity, Chudity, Chadity, Katity, Aceity and much much more!” Verity exclaims out. The crowd of oncoming people clapping as they hear his loud and commanding voice.

“Dude this is insane?? What the hell are you even thinking!” Your homebrochacho whispers. You don’t reply, not that there's a need to. This is perfect, all you ever needed in life. You are finally at peace.

The bells ring as you are set to a spot that's far enough to walk to the stage. A kind bright blue ball tells you that you’ll do great and is excited that you’re marrying his great great great step son-in-law. A choir (Choirities) sings out loud as you start walking down first. Not even a flower boy or girl in sight. You see your brochacho looking at a lectern with an empty book, forcefully looking at you as you slowly make your presence. Verity, only a few feet behind, slowly reaches the stage himself, fixing his tie (which he somehow has).

“Ladies, Gentlemen, Obese monsters of the night. We are gathered today…” your homeboy speaks out. His character somehow uses his own voice to speak rather than using the chat.

“How is he doing that?? How is he doing any of this?” He whispers to you. This time, you couldn’t even muster up an answer in your head. It’s just bogus.

“...Do you Verity, take (Y/N) to be your healthy and loving partner?” Your ‘homeboy’ questions.

“I do.” Verity replies.

“And do you, (Y/N), take Verity to be your one and only forever and ever till the end of time?" He continues.

“I… I do!!” You respond happily. Jumping excitingly, hearing the crowd clap and cheer.

“Then you shall make out.” He rang out. The crowd is screaming and crying as you and Verity share sloppy and passionate kisses, your bro jealous that he has to watch it all. Verity takes your hands and leans in for this long awaited moment.

You two are mid french kiss, tongue and all, when a voice rings out amidst the crowd. More like screaming actually.

“STOOOOOOPP!!!” They absolutely shriek. For exactly 4 seconds until they reach the altar, you struggle to identify what purple blur exactly is running towards you guys at mach 10 speed, but when you glance at Verity he seems horrified with his mouth twisted into an unfamiliar frown. They run all the way towards the altar, panting. “Wait…” they wheeze again with a hand on Verity’s shoulder as they catch their breath.

“Verity, who-?” you start to question. Verity must’ve spotted your confusion and cut you off.

“No one.” His tone is sharp and nothing like you’ve heard before in the less than 24 hours you’ve known him. He doesn’t even bother to face you; instead he glares at the girl with a large snout leaning on him. The hands cupping yours start to feel colder- less meaningful the longer shallow breathing fills the air.

The crowd in the venue’s gone silent, waiting for the next person to drop the ball.

When the purple girl finally catches her breath, she looks ready to go on a tangent and takes a deep breath in. “F-”

 “It’s Verity.” Verity immediately corrects whatever the girl is trying to say. She gives him a strange look but continues on.

“Okay, ‘Verity’,” she says in dramatic air quotes.

You decide it’s better late than never to interject. It’s your wedding, after all, and you deserve an explanation. “Sorry, but who are…?” you gesture vaguely to the girl.

“Susie Gaster Deltarune.” She points to herself proudly. “And they’re Kris and Ralsei Gaster Deltarune.”

She points again to somewhere off in the distance, and if you squint hard enough you can make out two pixels across the horizon. Susie turns back to you. “But that’s besides the point. The point is that this wedding shouldn’t even be happening.”

There was a gasp amongst the crowd of shiny balls and a grunt from a really fat one.

You feel Verity squeeze your hands harder like he’s channeling an inner rage towards them. “Not now, Susie…” Verity’s back to smiling again, but you can tell it’s simply off- fake.

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows. “If anything you’re not supposed to be here.” You could tell she was just a kid, probably itching to stir up trouble in her teen years.

“No, no, you don’t understand.” She seems to ignore Verity completely. “I’ve known ‘Verity’ for longer than you, trust me. He-”

“FLOWERRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!”

Another voice pierces through the air, more masculine this time. You look up, and it’s another monster-looking person; this time it’s a fluffy white goat thing.

He runs at a mere mach 9 and barrels into the venue. You note that the third person across the hills is now 3 pixels on your screen and prepare for a later third interruption.

Verity has your hands in a death grip, more than ever, as they march up with a present scowl on their face. “You filthy, petally, conniving, manipulating flower! You've Jarona'd for the last time!"

It’s obvious Verity has some sort of connection to these kids, and it seems serious much to your disappointment. “Verity, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, honey boo boo sugar plum bear with a cherry on top,” Verity says, but his tight grip on your hands tells you otherwise.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” says the ugly goat thing you assume is either Ralsei or Kris, but you think it’s Ralsei because no way in hell is something that atrocious looking gonna have a normal sounding name. He looks you straight in your demure, ocean blue eyes. “That thing isn’t who he says he is. Your husband, or ‘Verity’, is actually some stupid FUCKING flower from our universe named Flowery.”

“Flowery…?” The moment the words leave your mouth, so does Verity’s hands. In a split second, Verity slaps Ralsei in an attempt to shut him up, but it doesn’t even make a sound because Ralsei is straight fur. It’s more like hitting a pillow. Did it even hurt??

Susie picks up where Ralsei left off, awkwardly scratching the back of her head. “Yeah, y’know Flowery flirts with EVERYONE who installs his minecraft mod, right?”

You turn to face Ver- Flowery in shock. His face is in a mix of shock and anger.

Flowery (evil mode): "You ruin this one thing for me. For once, SOMEBODY doesn’t leave and guess what happens when that happens. YOU. ALL OF YOU. ALL OF YOU-”

The loudest, and obnoxious whirring sound plays through your speakers. You turn yourself to the right to see a blue person and a floating red heart beaming a light so bright that it blinds you silly.

Before you could react, you get kicked from the server and your game crashes. 

“What in the world??” You think to yourself. “I have to save Verity!”

You open Minecraft again to find your world, but to your surprise, it’s locked and you can’t open it anymore. Trying to log into it says your version is incompatible and to upgrade to a version that doesn’t even exist. You get a dm from your brochacho saying he’s done with you and that you’re getting BLOCKED for 999949928810483 years. Drats.

Oh wait, MY PROGRESS!! My base and the grueling mining for 5 whole days before this gone to waste, but more importantly, your ginormous stash of birch. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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