Chapter Text
May 2045
The first time Tony met Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov together he almost threw up.
He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He had been thoroughly prepared. Eliza Hollander-Rozanova sat with him at dinner the week before with an oral presentation outlined on her phone.
When she pulled out her phone she grinned and said, “You know I love making outlines.” And Tony wanted to kiss her right there.
“So this is my Dad and this is my Papa. Dad is Shane Hollander. Canadian and super proud of it. Obviously, he played for the MLH. After that he was a video review coach for the Centaurs. They let stay on when we moved. Then he retired a few years ago to take care of my Grandpa after my Grandma passed.”
“How did she pass?”
“Car accident. She was driving home from mahjong. My dads really… just don’t mention it.” Tony nodded and Eliza continued. “My Grandpa, David Hollander, had a stroke around three years ago, only like six months after grandma passed. He and my dad both live in Ottawa.”
Eliza pulled up a picture of Mr. Hollander and his father David Hollander and showed Tony then flipped to an older photo of Yuna Hollander.
“Papa is Ilya Rozanov. He was born in Russia, now Canadian. Super proud of both. He is an assistant hockey coach at McGill, a really good school in Montreal. Before that he was the head coach of a junior league in Ottawa. So when you hear me and Mike say Papa and Dad that is who we are talking about.” Eliza showed Tony her phone again. She pointed to Mr. Rozanov in a picture of him, David, and her brother Mike on a boat. His arms looped around David and Mike. Mr. Rozanov’s hairline had clearly started to recede and his face was more wrinkled than Mr. Hollander, but he still had a boyish smile.
Eliza continued, “This is from almost seven years ago though. Papa got hair plugs in Turkey last year so he has a lot more hair. Dad said he is super sensitive about it so don’t bring it up.” She pulled up another selfie of Mr. Hollander smiling with a thumbs up and a very tired, Mr. Rozanov with his head wrapped after the procedure, scowling at the camera.
“They went… together?” Tony asked, taking a sip of his beer.
“Well yeah. Someone had to help Papa. He has no family here but us. And my Dad’s wanted to go to Turkey for years, so it just made sense.” Eliza said as if it were obvious, shrugging as she flipped through her phone again.
“Right.” Tony wondered if Eliza-
“You don’t need to know everything about their relationship, just that the first few years they were officially dating were very hard. Long distance. Secret relationship. Homophobia. The works. Their story could be like a TV show or a book or something. Mike took a psychology class last year and he thinks it’s the root of their… quirks… now.”
Eliza pulled up another screenshot of a magazine cover from 2022 of a very, young, and even Tony could admit, very attractive and newly married Shane and Ilya Hollander-Rozanov with the tag “MLH’s first Hockey Husbands.” She shoved the phone into Tony’s face. “Lots of publicity too. The divorce also got lots of publicity. That wasn’t fun.” She added.
“How long were they married before the divorce?”
Tony wanted to ask, did they actually divorce? Because who goes on vacations with their ex?
“A fucking long, long time. From 2021 to 2042.”
“Wow. And before they got married? Like how long did they date?”
“My Papa said they were in love since they were 17… so like sometime in the 2000s? My Dad says 2017 which is when they officially got together. So depending on the day and the man they were something for 37 years.”
“Are they getting along now? I guess that’s a stupid question since they just went on a vacation together.”
Tony let out a small laugh and looked up at Eliza who looked confused.
“I mean it wasn’t really a vacation. It was for a medical procedure.”
Tony stopped himself from rolling his eyes.
Eliza continued, “I mean overall, yes. Mike thinks they are still… well… you know… so they can never get over each other. Something about oxytocin and attachment. I don’t know. That psychology class filled him with a bunch of ideas.” Eliza grimaced at the thought. “But I don’t think that’s the case. I mean they are still attached to each other but more so in a very… still exes… but still toxic way. Sometimes they get along great, but then like at Easter they had a huge fight when they came to Boston to visit.”
“If Mike’s right then that must be a little weird.” Tony took a sip of his beer. “But every family can be, I guess. The good thing is that I’m not going in totally blind. When I met your dad he was super nice.” Tony smiled.
Eliza set her hand on top of his and smiled back. “Papa, is also very nice. Just in a different way. Don’t let him intimidate you. He is still obsessed with my Dad. That was part of the problem at Easter… Anything my Dad says, do it or agree with it. Being on my Dad’s good side, which you already are,” Eliza looked up from her phone and smiled, “is the quickest way of being on my Papa's good side.”
“Okay. Okay. I understand. Don’t disrespect Shane Hollander or Ilya Rozanov will be pissed.”
“Exactly. No matter what Papa is saying to you - even if it’s an insult - if he keeps talking to you, he likes you. You only have to worry if he goes silent and in full Russian stare mode.”
The waiter walked up to their table to check in, “Another glass of Diet Coke please.” She smiled.
“And the divorce was… mutual? Amicable?“
“Absolutely not. My Dad filed. My Papa was furious. It was bad. Very, very bad. I didn’t talk to my Papa for six months bad.”
“Oh. Wow. What-“
“Nope. Not going there. Not in the mood tonight.” Eliza looked away and downed the last bit of Diet Coke in her glass.
“Okay, okay.” Tony grabbed her hand again and squeezed.
“Oh… and about Mike-” Eliza rolled her eyes.
“Love that guy.” Tony smiled.
“You haven’t seen him with my dads. He turns into a teenager. Just don’t intervene and walk away if they get going. And Theo will probably eventually show up.”
“Your big brother?”
“Yep. No clue when. He and Papa butt heads. Bad. They are the same exact person and Theo is incredibly defensive of my Dad. He took the divorce the hardest out of everyone, which was a surprise. He is in medical school. He is a year older than me. He was like my dads’ golden child. Harvard student, played centre for their hockey team, now at Harvard’s medical school. When he refused to walk at graduation my Papa and my Dad were crushed. It was a big fight.”
“Why did he refuse?”
“I have no clue. I begged him not to. My dad said he thinks he was enacting some sort of punishment on Papa for the divorce.”
“Okay, so… this could be tense.”
“Very. And the fighting really upsets my Dad. Then both Theo and Papa are mad at the other that my dad is upset. Theo loves big, just like Papa. So he wouldn’t miss my graduation for the world. The dinner, the party, everything else… he may skip.”
“Most of these things just sound like normal family quirks and drama to me. I mean maybe not the divorced parents on vacation-“
Eliza exhaled. “It wasn’t a vacation. And I would like to hear you say that again after next weekend.” She finally cracked a smile.
“How are they going to… react? Does Mike know? Theo?”
“God no. Mike would run straight to my Dad. Theo may be suspicious, but he hasn’t said anything.” Eliza curled a hair between her fingers and thought for a moment. “I go back and forth. I mean, I know they aren’t going to like cut me off or anything… right now I think my Dad will cry and my Papa will act mad to appease my dad, but be secretly excited. My Dad just wants me to go to law school at Mcgill so bad… it’s where my Grandpa played hockey and where my Grandma went to law school.”
The waiter sat the check down and Tony grabbed it.
“I got it.” Eliza smiled grabbing it from Tony’s hand. “I told my Dad that we were having a preparation dinner and he was so tickled he wanted to pay. He helped me make the outline. Obviously I went off script in some areas.” Eliza giggled as she slipped her metal credit card into the receipt book. The sound of the credit card hitting the table always sounded like wealth to Tony. He couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at times.
Tony didn’t grow up poor. Not even close. But he liked to think he grew up normal. His parents always had money for soccer camps and the newest cell phone for Tony, but Tony also had to work in college up until his graduation last year, to pay to go out to the bar or get take out. Now, he worked full time. He had a nice job. He was expected to fend for himself. And Eliza… didn’t and wouldn’t ever be expected to when push came to shove. Despite any defense her fathers put up or their half-hearted attempts in the past (See, Eliza’s 4-week stint at a local cafe before Mr. Rozanov found out she was closing the cafe by herself at 9pm).
Despite this, Eliza usually let Tony pay, though he knew it was only to protect his ego. She never picked the restaurants she went to with her fathers when they were in town. The restaurants he knew were her favorites. She picked places Tony could afford, like the burger joint they were currently sitting in.
If Tony had to guess, Mr. Hollander had assumed they would be going somewhere nice. Hollander-Rozanov nice. Not Tony nice.
“He told me to treat you tonight. He suggested that whiskey bar we went to together when he was here. I told him you would like that. He said just to keep each transaction under $200 so my Papa doesn’t question it.”
“He looks at every transaction?” Tony questioned, his brows furrowed take a mental inventory of everywhere they had been together and imagining Mr. Rozanov reading each charge description.
“Yes, it’s so annoying. It started when I moved away. My Dad thinks Papa just likes to know where I’m going, what I’m doing. But occasionally gets sticker shock if he sees something he deems too extravagant. He does the same thing to Mike. It’s how he knows when Mike has a new girlfriend.” Eliza giggled.
“And what about Theo?”
“Oh, Theo cut his card in half after the divorce. It was very dramatic.” She rolled her eyes. “It came with this long speech.”
“Why did he do that?” Tony thought for a moment that these three young adults had no fucking idea what he would to have free money every month.
“It was my Papa’s fault really.” She exhaled. “He pushed him- said something like ‘As long as you are swiping my credit card and living in the condo we pay for you blah blah blah.” Eliza rolled her eyes again. “So Theo walked over to his kitchen drawer, grabbed scissors, took the card out of his wallet and cut it right in front of his face.”
“I would be terrified to do that to my dad.” Tony said honestly.
“Not Theo. He moved out the next week. Like I said- he is all Papa. That is exactly what Ilya Rozanov at twenty would have done.” She let out a quiet, breathy laugh, then corrected herself, “Well probably never to his own dad. My Dad says Papa’s dad was an abusive asshole.”
Tony nodded along to the story. His nerves increased by the minute.