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Atsushi shredded his speech. It fluttered to the floor. He scraped both hands through his hair and tugged, loosing a sound better suited to Yosano-sensei’s mercy than the room he practiced in.
In an hour, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke would exchange vows, promising his love and life to someone else, forever removing himself beyond Atsushi’s reach, leaving him behind, leaving him alone.
Atsushi would have to stand before their friends and family and lift a glass of wine he wouldn’t drink and lie through a smile.
He’d worked diligently on that speech.
Atsushi paced through the room, ruining the careful configuration of his hair and tugging at his ugly, stupid tie.
He’d worked hard, not because he meant a single word, but because Ryuunosuke would see through him. And Gods, he couldn’t let that happen.
“Hello,” he recited, clearing the thickness from his throat. “I’m Atsushi. I’ve known the groom for five years. And though we didn’t really start off on the right foot,” he paused for the snickering he could so easily imagine. “I can say knowing him has been nothing short of a blessing for me. He’s changed my life. And I hope. I…”
A laugh escaped his throat with all the softness of broken glass.
“I can’t,” he said into his hands, staring at the corpse of his speech. It resembled the fissures in his chest. “I’m proud to be who you wanted to stand with you but I can’t, I can’t tell you to be happy with someone else, you jerk. I love you too much.”
A harsh inhale snapped his head up.
Ryuunosuke stood in the doorway, dark eyes burning. He crossed the room in a single step and grabbed Atsushi’s face.
“Say it again.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Weretiger.”
“I love you.”
The kiss felt like a punch.