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“Hey, hey, Sasuke, check it out! My clones can stack on top of themselves to create an even huger clone!”
“Cool,” Sasuke says, and that’s how Sasuke knows something is very, very wrong.
He snaps his mouth shut immediately, hoping the word was muttered quietly enough that Naruto didn’t hear, but when he dares to glance at the annoying idiot next to him, the wide grin on his face tells Sasuke that wasn’t the case.
“Cool?” Naruto shrieks, loud enough and close enough to Sasuke’s ear to make him fear for his hearing. “Hey, did you just say it was cool?”
“No I didn’t.”
“Liar! You so totally did!”
“I didn’t,” Sasuke insists in vain. “You’re hearing things.”
Naruto’s already bounced away, up ahead to Sakura. “Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan, did you hear? Sasuke thinks my new jutsu is cool!”
The fact that Naruto is calling his clones learning how to climb over themselves a new jutsu is enough to make Sasuke snort. Although Naruto couldn’t have possibly heard it, the blond boy still turns around to stick his tongue out at Sasuke.
“Sasuke,” their lazy teacher hums from behind them. “Have you taken any Food Pills recently?”
Sasuke turns back to give Kakashi a skeptical look at the strange question. “No.”
“Hm,” Kakashi says, not bothering to glance up from his stupid porn book. “Your chakra looks a bit strange.”
Sasuke looks at his hands and frowns. He feels fine, but—
He looks at Naruto and remembers saying cool before even thinking about the words coming out of his mouth. He looks back at his hands.
“...strange how?”
Kakashi shrugs. Sasuke waits for him to say anything even remotely helpful, and when nothing follows, Sasuke’s frown deepens. He’d been secretly a bit pleased to be assigned the Copy Ninja as his teacher, but in practice, Kakashi doesn’t seem to do much other than read his stupid porn book. Just Sasuke’s luck.
“That’s not all I do.”
Sasuke startles and glances back. He can’t make out Kakashi’s mouth with his mask on, but from the curve of his eye, he thinks the bastard must be smiling.
“You didn’t mean to say that out loud, did you?”
Sasuke’s eyes widen. “No, I—” His brows furrow. “What?”
“I want to try something. Everyone, stop!” Kakashi calls out.
Ahead of them, Naruto and Sakura stop walking and peer back curiously. A few moments later, Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura are making a sort of half-circle around Sasuke. Sasuke is immediately unnerved.
“Well, Sasuke,” Kakashi says, his tone vaguely amused. “You already told me what you think about me. What do you think about Sakura?”
Both Sasuke and Sakura startle at this question. Naruto glances between the two of them quickly, his brows raised in bewilderment.
She’s annoying, Sasuke means to say. “She’s strong, but she doesn’t apply herself enough.”
Sakura’s eyes go wide and shiny. “You think I’m strong?” she squeals. Sasuke gets the distinct feeling the entire second half of his comment has flown past Sakura, but he has bigger problems to worry about. Namely—
“Oh, oh, me next! Me next!” Naruto jumps forward with a wide grin. “What do you think about me?”
Well, that’s easy.
“You’re loud and stupid and annoying.”
Naruto’s grin drops. “Hey!” He pouts and kicks at the ground. “I thought you were being nice today or something…”
“Hm,” Kakashi says. “Sasuke, do you think Naruto’s strong?”
Hell no, Sasuke thinks.
“Yes.”
What?
“Stronger than you?”
Sasuke clenches his teeth together hard enough to hurt. Even still, the word forces its way out of Sasuke’s mouth.
“...maybe.”
“Huh?” Naruto says loudly. “Huh? Wait, you—really? Really?”
Sasuke ignores Naruto to whirl around to face Kakashi. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Language,” Kakashi says mildly. Sasuke’s eye twitches. “It’s probably nothing serious, but we should probably see a Medical Ninja.”
Naruto, who has been staring dazedly at Sasuke for a few moments, snaps back into himself at this. “I’ll come! I’ll come, too!” He pats Sasuke on the back. “Don’t worry! Even if I’m stronger than you, I’ll still be your rival! Believe it!”
Sasuke is going to kill someone.
“What do you mean I have no filter?”
“It’s not a huge deal,” the Medical Ninja checking Sasuke says. “Something’s affecting your chakra to make you speak before you can think about your words. It’s not life threatening, and it should go away on its own in a few weeks.”
Sasuke would rather it be life threatening than something like this.
“Weeks?” Naruto says, his eyebrows raising high enough to disappear under his headband. “Sasuke’s gonna be like this for weeks?”
Sasuke wishes he wouldn’t sound so excited about it. Sakura, who also tagged along for some reason, wrings her hands together. Kakashi flips to the next page of his porn book.
“It’s hard to determine the exact duration,” the Medical Ninja hums. “But other than being a little more talkative, there shouldn’t be any other symptoms. Physically, you’re totally fine.” He grins at Sasuke, like Sasuke’s supposed to be sated with this knowledge. Sasuke very much is not.
“So… so, wait, does that mean Sasuke can’t lie right now?”
Sasuke shoots Naruto a glare that he ignores. The Medical Ninja hums.
“It’s a bit more complicated than that, but essentially, yes. Everything Sasuke says will be the truth, or at least, what he believes to be the truth.”
Naruto’s eyes widen before he turns to Sasuke. “So you did think my new jutsu was cool!”
“I did not,” Sasuke says immediately.
“Huuuh?” Naruto says loudly. “But you did! You said it and everything!”
“Just because I said it doesn’t mean I actually thought it was cool,” Sasuke says a bit smugly, pleased to have seemingly discovered a loophole.
Naruto wilts a little. “So you don’t think it’s cool?”
Of course not, idiot, Sasuke means to say. He opens his mouth. Nothing comes out.
“Oh,” the Medical Ninja says. “Interesting.” He takes down a few notes. “Very interesting.”
Sasuke is not particularly enjoying the feeling of being examined like a lab experiment. He scowls at his hands, hoping Naruto wasn’t perceptive enough to recognize the meaning of Sasuke’s nonanswer. For better or for worse, Naruto hasn’t seemed to notice.
“If Sasuke doesn’t have any filter now,” Naruto grumbles. “He’s just gonna be mean all the time. Well, he’s already mean, but, like—he’ll be meaner. All the time. He’s gonna be so annoying.”
Sasuke snorts. “You’re one to talk.”
“See!” Naruto gestures wildly in Sasuke’s direction. “See? That’s what I said! Kakashi-sensei, isn’t there something you can do?”
“Probably not,” Sasuke accidentally says out loud. Naruto sends him a squinty glare.
“It doesn’t have to be all bad,” Kakashi hums. “There’s nothing stopping you from asking him a bunch of embarrassing questions that he’d have to answer.”
Sasuke’s mouth drops open in a betrayed gape. Seriously? Seriously? Did he want to see Sasuke suffer? Maybe this was payback for accidentally calling him useless out loud multiple times in a row, but this is possibly the most cruel revenge Kakashi could have sentenced Sasuke to.
“Oh,” Naruto says. He straightens. “Hey, that’s true!”
“Do not,” Sasuke grits out.
“Hey, hey, Sasuke,” Naruto says suddenly, his face much closer to Sasuke’s than he would like, “was I your first kiss?”
Sasuke presses his lips together. Naruto’s grin widens with every moment Sasuke struggles to remain silent.
“Was I?” Naruto asks again, even having the audacity to lean closer to Sasuke as if he’s determined to re-enact that horrible, horrible incident. “I was, wasn’t I?”
Sasuke is eventually forced to mutter a very reluctant, very upsetting “yes.” Naruto cheers and finally pulls away from Sasuke. The tips of Sasuke’s ears burn.
“I win,” Naruto crows proudly, although exactly what victory he’s celebrating Sasuke doesn’t know. “I stole your first kiss, so I win!”
“That’s not really something to be proud of,” Sakura says, obviously a bit annoyed and probably a bit jealous. Sasuke agrees with the statement, if not the sentiment behind it. “Stupid Naruto.”
“Aww, Sakura-chan…” Naruto whines. “It’s okay, I can be your first kiss, too!”
“As if I’d want that, idiot,” Sakura says, slapping Naruto’s head.
Naruto’s complaints and whining increase in volume in tandem with Sakura’s yelling. The headache building behind Sasuke’s eyes throbs a bit harder. Ignoring the commotion beside him, he turns to the Medical Ninja.
“Can I go home?”
He nods. “Like I said, you should be back to normal in a few weeks. If there’s any negative change to your condition, make sure you return.”
Sasuke sighs. “Fine.”
Without bothering to tell the rest of Team 7, Sasuke hops out of the window and starts back to the Uchiha compound. He suspects his previously cherished alone time is increasingly going to become more precious.
One week later, Sasuke starts to get the hang of it. The kunai knives he throws at Naruto and the glowers he shoots Sakura every time they ask a stupid question have seemed to work in terms of getting them to back off with their interrogations while Sasuke is in such a vulnerable, talkative state. Sasuke suspects the same wouldn’t work on Kakashi, but luckily, the teacher doesn’t seem too interested in questioning him. Sasuke will take the small victories he can get.
Today, they’ve been assigned to rescue Tora from a tree. Again. Normally, Sasuke would be annoyed by getting assigned these useless, pithy missions, but at the very least, it gives him something to do with little risk of blurting out something exposing.
Or, at least, it would be, if Kakashi and Sakura hadn’t split off from the group to weed a garden or something. Leaving Sasuke with Naruto. Alone. To say this is a dangerous situation would be an understatement.
To make things worse, Naruto isn’t saying anything. The annoying brat that’s constantly moving and constantly talking isn’t saying a word, and—
Sasuke has a terrible, terrible feeling about this.
He decides he’ll make the most out of the silence while it lasts, though, and the sooner he can finish this mission, the sooner he can retreat to his safe, Naruto-free home. He starts checking Tora’s regular hideouts with more fervor than he usually does, Naruto trailing just a few steps behind.
“Hey, Sasuke?”
Sasuke walks a bit quicker. If he ignores Naruto, maybe he won’t need to have this conversation. Undeterred, Naruto’s steps behind him quicken equally.
“Sa-su-ke.”
Sasuke doesn’t think he can get out of this one. He could either literally sprint away, or just get this over with. Sasuke thinks he’ll choose ripping off the metaphorical bandage over acting like such a pitiful coward in front of Naruto. After sending a quick prayer to the heavens that Naruto won’t ask him too embarrassing of a question, he grits out a reluctant “what.”
Naruto doesn’t say anything. Sasuke stops and turns around, a “spit it out already, loser” on the tip of his tongue, but it dies out when he sees Naruto’s expression.
Naruto looks… nervous.
Nervous, and almost a bit guilty, like he knows asking Sasuke anything now is putting Sasuke in a position he doesn’t want to be in. Truthfully, Sasuke didn’t know the idiot could be so self-aware. Still, Sasuke suspects Naruto’s curiosity will win out in the end—
“Why were you willing to die for me in the Land of Waves?”
—well.
Okay. Okay. Sasuke can work with this.
“I told you already,” Sasuke says, turning back and continuing to walk under the pretense of looking for Tora. “My body moved on its own.”
It’s not a lie, so Sasuke has some control over his words. But Sasuke knows, without even looking back, that the answer won’t be enough for Naruto.
“But why?” Naruto presses as Sasuke predicted. “You used to hate me, you said it yourself. You still don’t even like me.”
Sasuke’s throat is starting to tighten. “You’re a teammate.” I would have done it for anyone, he tries to say. The words don’t make it out. Sasuke’s throat tightens a bit more.
“Yeah, but…” Naruto trails off and shakes his head. “I don’t get it. Why would your body move on instinct for me?”
Sasuke presses his lips together until his jaw begins to ache. He doesn’t know what words are trying to shove their way out of his mouth, but he knows it won’t be anything good.
“...Sasuke?”
“Because I care about you,” Sasuke blurts out. “I care about you so much that it scares me.”
Naruto’s lips part. There’s a naked sort of shock on his face, like he can’t quite believe what Sasuke’s said. Sasuke can’t quite believe what he’s said. Faintly, he thinks this might be the first time he’s rendered Naruto completely speechless, but Sasuke is too busy wanting to die on the spot to appreciate his feat.
“Huh?” Naruto says weakly. “You… huh?”
Sasuke is never going to live this down. Sasuke is never going to live this down. Naruto is going to tease him relentlessly for admitting something so embarrassing that isn’t even true—
But although Sasuke’s instinct is to vehemently reject the statement that had just forced itself out of his mouth, Sasuke is even more wholly embarrassed to think there might be a semblance of truth to it. Could he really deny that he cared for Naruto when he’d instinctively moved his body in front of the other boy’s? Could he really pretend that that instinct, that unconscious, immediate action hadn’t frightened him? Could he really pretend that the knowledge that he was willing to sacrifice himself, his revenge, his everything for Naruto wasn’t terrifying?
The more Sasuke thinks about it, the more he realizes he couldn’t. And that, of everything, might be the scariest thing of all.
Naruto is still kind of gawping at him. Sasuke decides he should probably leave. Tora can find her own way out of a tree.
He starts walking back, hoping that Naruto will remain shell-shocked long enough for Sasuke to make his tactical retreat. Unfortunately, Sasuke only makes it a few steps before Naruto startles back into action.
“Wait,” he blurts out. “Wait, wait, Sasuke—”
“I’m going back home. Don’t follow me.”
“—why does it scare you?”
Because I’m not allowed to have this, Sasuke knows he’s about to say. Not yet. Not until—
Sasuke bites down on his tongue, hard. The taste of copper fills his mouth. He turns to the side and spits out some of the blood.
“Sasuke?” he hears Naruto ask, bewildered. “What happened?”
“I’m going back home,” Sasuke grits out again. “Don’t follow me.”
Naruto blinks at him and doesn’t budge. With a scowl, Sasuke shoves past him and storms off in the direction of the Uchiha compound. He can feel Naruto’s gaze on his back the entire way.
“Hey, hey, Sasuke! Wanna get some ramen?”
“No.”
“Aww, come on! Please?”
“No.”
“I’ll pay!”
Sasuke pauses. He glances back. “Seriously?”
Naruto grins. “Seriously! Believe it!”
That’s a first. Treating someone to ramen is usually an offer reserved for Sakura, and Sasuke is a little bewildered to be on the receiving end of it. Still, he figures it can’t hurt. Also, he really wasn’t in the mood to cook anything for himself.
Sasuke is still a bit wary of being alone with Naruto since their last interaction, but it’s been a few days since, and Naruto’s never brought it up, not even to tease Sasuke with it. After a few moments of deliberation, Sasuke decides the promise of free ramen outweighs the risk of Naruto embarrassing him again. He nods, and Naruto cheers. They start towards Ichiraku, Naruto chattering about what he’s going to order on the way. Sasuke’s not really sure why, considering he’s pretty sure the boy orders the same thing every time.
Eventually, there’s a lull in the one-sided conversation. Naruto stretches his arms back and links his hands together behind his head, squinting into the setting sun.
“You know,” Naruto says, not looking at Sasuke. “What you said the other day… it made me really happy.”
Sasuke stops abruptly. His face feels hot.
Stupid. Stupid. He was stupid to think Naruto would let this go, to think Naruto would pass on an opportunity to make fun of him. He’d thought Naruto would have the tact to understand Sasuke doesn’t want this brought up, doesn’t want to talk about this, but no, Naruto just has to go and talk about how happy he is to have the knowledge of Sasuke’s one vulnerable moment. Sasuke was a fool for thinking otherwise.
It takes a few steps for Naruto to realize Sasuke’s stopped. He turns back and tilts his head. “What happened? You look constipated.”
Sasuke sets his jaw. “I’m not going to Ichiraku.”
“Huh?” Naruto blinks. “Why not?”
“I don’t like being around you,” Sasuke is forced to say choppily, “when I’m like this.”
Naruto’s expression twists in confusion. “Huh?” he says again. “What, you worried I’ll ask you more embarrassing questions?” His expression shifts to a sheepish grin. “Aww, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that—”
“I don’t like being around you ever,” Sasuke interrupts. He curls his hands into fists and glares at the ground. He doesn’t know why these words are so insistent to spill from his mouth. He doesn’t know if any of what he’s saying is true. He doesn’t know if he’s saying this to make Naruto flush with anger like Sasuke is burning now. All he knows is that he doesn’t have any control over what he’s saying, and he hates it. “You talk too much, and you’re too loud, and—and you never leave me alone. You’re worse than Sakura. And you’re confusing, and—you’re too much.”
That last part, at least, has to be true. Naruto is too much. Obviously, he’s too much—that’s why Sasuke feels so strange around him all the time, that’s why Sasuke’s thoughts drift to Naruto even when he’s not around, that’s why thinking about him for too long fills Sasuke with these confusing, awful feelings that twist and turn in his stomach—
—right?
Sasuke glances up just in time to see genuine hurt flicker across Naruto’s face. For a moment, he regrets it. For a moment, he wants to take it back.
“Oh, yeah?” Naruto says, loudly and suddenly. “Well—well, who said I liked being around you? Huh?” he blusters. “As if I’d ever actually treat you to ramen. I was just—” He glances at Sasuke and quickly looks away. “Whatever! You can get your own dinner! By yourself!”
This anger is familiar. This anger is safe.
But as Sasuke watches Naruto storm off, the memory of that hurt continues to linger in his mind.
Eventually, finally, Sasuke gets control of his own voice back. Obviously, he’s relieved that he’s back to normal, but there’s something else to the relief, too—
—namely, maybe Naruto will stop being so weird now.
Sasuke guesses anyone wouldn’t like to be told that their company was unwanted, but Sasuke’s said worse things to Naruto before, and he’s bounced back perfectly fine in record time. He hadn’t expected that Naruto would feel so slighted by Sasuke’s refusal to get ramen with him. It probably doesn’t help that Sasuke has continued to be wary around him, always a bit on edge when Naruto glances at him and opens his mouth. But in the week that followed, Naruto hadn’t asked Sasuke a single question—hell, he’d barely addressed Sasuke at all.
Sasuke should probably be grateful for this. Sasuke doesn’t understand why he isn’t—why, more than anything, it feels off.
“Hey, loser,” Sasuke says when they meet up that day for training. Hopefully, telling Naruto that he’s back to normal will make Naruto go back to normal, too. “I’m fine now.”
“Oh,” Naruto says flatly. “Cool.”
Sasuke frowns. It’s such an uncharacteristic response that Sasuke can’t help the next question that falls out of his mouth. “Why are you being so weird?”
“You’re weird!” Naruto immediately shoots back, and Sasuke should probably be annoyed, but it’s the first time in a week Naruto’s yelled at Sasuke—the first time in a week it’s felt normal. “You’re the weird one! Saying all that stuff like—like you care about me just to… just to say you never want me around!” He juts a finger in Sasuke’s direction. “Which one is it?”
Was Naruto really still hung up on this? “It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke mutters. “It’s not like I was thinking straight when I was saying any of—”
“It matters to me!”
“Why?” Sasuke snaps, frustrated and tired and confused. “Why does it matter to you if I care about you or not?”
“Because I—you—” Naruto splutters for a few moments. “It’s—you’re just—” He shakes his head. “Whatever. Whatever! It doesn’t matter. Why would I care?”
“Yeah,” Sasuke says after a pause. “You shouldn’t.”
“I don’t.”
“Good.”
“Good,” Naruto parrots, because he just has to have the last word. Sasuke rolls his eyes with a sigh.
“So,” Sasuke says. “We’re fine. Right?”
“I’m better than fine,” Naruto blusters. “I’m great! Believe it!”
Naruto’s probably lying. Naruto’s definitely lying. But embarrassing as it is to admit, Sasuke doesn’t know how to approach a situation like this without being forced to speak.
Anyway, Naruto said he’s fine. Naruto’s probably fine.
Sasuke clears his throat and looks to the side.
“It’ll be a while before Kakashi shows up.” His gaze flickers to Naruto. “Race to the end of the village and back?”
Naruto brightens—for real, this time. Sasuke feels a bit more at ease. “Yeah! Loser buys ramen!”
Sasuke raises an eyebrow. “You want my order now or at the end?”
“Hey! I haven’t lost yet!”
“Key word being yet.”
“You’re—so—”
“Ready?”
“Huh? Hey, wait, you already flipped the coin? Come on—”
“Have fun eating my dust, loser.”
“Right back atcha!”