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From the start (I saw it in your eyes)

Summary:

Dan and Phil through the eyes of Dan's grandma Veronica ft. the first time she met Phil as well as a little moment before the podcast recording.

Based on Hard Launch episode #41: "How soon into meeting Phil did you suspect that there might be something going on between Dan and Phil", "I knew straight away."<3

Notes:

Today's pod episode killed me thank u very much

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

When Veronica first received a call from her lovely daughter about checking in on Dan over the weekend, she'd been worried. Usually, on weekends like this, where Dan would insist on staying home while his parents and brother were away for a few days, she was never explicitly asked to check in on him. Sure, she would do so anyway, but this was the first time Dan's mother requested it from her specifically.

"Is he sick?" Veronica asked over the phone. Dan's mom sighed. "No, no, he's perfectly healthy. Just-" Followed by a long silence while she was seemingly gathering her words. Veronica patiently waited for her to go on. "It's just that Dan.. He's got a friend over for a few days. You know, the one from YouTube, or whatever. And he genuinely seems like a very nice young man and they have met a couple of times."

Veronica knew very well who she was talking about. Phil, the name had come up in conversations before. In summer last year, then in fall and winter several times. It seemed as though Dan went to visit him on more weekends than not. She was quite curious about the person that made her precious grandson spend most of his money on train tickets. Her daughter, however, seemed worried.

"Is everything alright?" Veronica continued. "Yes. It should be. But this is gonna be the first time Phil is gonna visit him here while we are not at home so I guess I would just like someone to make sure they don't burn down the house or something similar. You know how boys can be." Veronica sensed there might be more to it than just concern about the house, but she didn't prod further. She just agreed, her daughter breathing a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I hope everything goes well." They spoke for a few more minutes, Veronica wished her a nice time on the weekend trip, then they both hung up and went on with their respective days.

"Everything alright with Dan? I overheard." Her husband, who was standing by the door responded. Veronica nodded. "Yes. I've just been tasked to check up on him over the weekend. But I believe there is nothing to worry about." Later, she would call Dan to ask him what would be a good time for her to come over. For now, however, she went to set the table for dinner.

The week passed by without any interesting occurrences and before she knew it, it was Friday. From what her and Dan talked about on the phone, she knew he was going to pick Phil up from the train station at noon, grab lunch with him somewhere in town and then return home after. They settled on her coming to check in on him Friday evening for dinner (she insisted on making dinner for all three of them since her husband was going to be out with his friends anyway and it was only polite to use this opportunity to finally meet the person Dan had been spending so much time with), as well as Sunday afternoon a little while before Phil would leave to go back home to ensure the house wasn't a mess.

"I'm heading out." She told her husband at around six PM, grabbing her handbag, keys and a coat. He came up to her and gave her a goodbye kiss. "Alright. So will I soon. Say hello to Dan from me. And to his friend too, of course."

It didn't take long to get to the house, it never did. It had been getting warmer the past couple of days, but still not warm enough to leave the house without a coat. Veronica saw the lights on in Dan's room and heard laughter through the open window. Good. The house was still standing and the boys seemed to be having fun. She enjoyed the moment for a second or two, before she walked up to the entrance and rang the doorbell. The laughter from above went quiet, she heard some unintelligible words, and a minute later the front door opened to the sight of her wonderful grandson who had a content smile on his face. He looked quite happy, so things seemed to be going well.

"Nana! Come in." Dan greeted her with a hug, taking her coat and bag from her as she entered the house. "Phil!" He called out towards the living room as he hung everything up on the wardrobe. "My grandma's here!" So this was the moment then. She was finally going to meet the mystery person she was quite certain had become Dan's best friend.

A head peeked out from the door to the living room. Blue eyes, a haircut similar to Dan's but dyed fully black, a warm smile that seemingly lit up the whole room (she noticed Dan's whole demeanor undergo a subtle change in the way he instantly seemed to be able to breathe easier if that was possible). Into the hallway stepped a young man that was (somehow) as tall and lanky as Dan. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt and tight jeans that couldn't be comfortable, but she had gotten used to from seeing Dan wear similar ones all the time.

"Well hello there." Veronica smiled at the man. "My name is Veronica. I'm Dan's nana. And you must be Phil then?" Dan stepped aside and let his friend through who held out a hand which Veronica shook happily. "Yep. I'm Phil. Phil Lester. It's nice to finally meet you! He told me a lot about you. Like how you basically raised him and how his posh accent is your doing!" Behind him, Dan went bright red. "Phiwww!" He whined, making Phil laugh out loud and step back as Dan gently smacked his shoulder which led to both of them laughing. Veronica watched them for a moment. It had been a while since she'd seen Dan this light while interacting with someone. Very sweet.

"Nice to finally meet you as well. I would say the same, but Daniel here is always very vague when talking about you. I wish he had told me more though, you seem like quite a nice young gentleman." Now it was Phil's turn to go slightly red, but the sweet smile on his face remained the same. "Well, we have time today. So please, feel free to ask me anything!"

Dan and Phil lingered in the dining room while Veronica busied herself with cooking dinner. She'd insisted on doing so on her own, even after Phil had asked her if there was anything he could do to help. These boys lived quite far away from each other, she didn't wanna take up any of the time they had together. In addition, it gave her a good opportunity to just watch them for a while. And watch she did. All while preparing the pasta recipe, she watched. Along the process, she made three very important realizations:

1) Dan and Phil were on the exact same wavelength with their interests and conversations.
2) She hadn't seen her grandson this happy and expressive since he was a young child.
3) There was a very strong undercurrent of something in their words and expressions and the way they leaned into each other that didn't quite fit in with a platonic friendship dynamic.

The thing was, Dan had changed over the past couple of years. Probably earlier than that. Probably as early as when he was first put into school, but it had definitely gotten worse as time went on. It was largely blamed on hormones, on being a teenager, on everyone being at this awkward developmental stage where nothing really seems to be working out and it can feel like the whole world hates you. And while that surely was part of the problem, Veronica had since realized that there was no way that would be enough to explain everything.

There was no way that was enough to explain the days where Dan would very clearly lie about being sick because he couldn't get out of bed.
There was no way that was enough to explain the days where Dan would come home exhausted from a six hour school day like he had run an entire marathon.
There was no way that was enough to explain the days where Dan would immediately disappear into his room upon returning home and changing into some clothes he thought to be enough to cover up bruises that clearly hadn't come from him accidentally falling down a flight of stairs.
There was no way that was enough to explain the days where Dan would come back from school to her and his popsie instead of his parents and cry in their arms for hours until he had no tears left before pulling back and never elaborating on what made him sad in the first place.

He'd often been almost withdrawn from reality for years at this point. But it had definitely gotten worse over his last few years in school. A shell of the happy young boy that would run around, sing barbie girl at maximum volume in front of the whole family, excitedly talk about his interests and put so much energy into theater. Nowadays, even when Veronica saw him hang out with his friends, the smile never seemed to be fully genuine, never quite reached his eyes, and he was much quieter overall. Especially about things that would lead to him talking about himself and his interests.

Until now. In the dining room. Where Phil had just made some kind of joke about one of these video games young people liked to play and Dan burst out into the loudest, brightest, most genuine laughter Veronica had heard from him in over a decade, leaning into Phil's space, resting his head against his shoulder, like it was exactly where he belonged.

Oh.

Veronica stopped all movement for a moment and stared. At how close they were sitting already and still leaning closer as though they were trying to fuse into one human being. At how brightly Dan smiled, and Phil smiled back just the same. At the soft, red blush on both their faces. At the way they briefly held eye contact, staring at each other like nothing else existed in the world but them and their jokes that no one else seemed to understand.

So it was like that.

Veronica swiftly moved on to continue cooking, not wanting them to notice her reaction or the way she briefly froze. She didn't want to break their moment of seeming so genuinely happy. Both of them. She had no way to actually confirm her suspicions as she didn't want to pry. She was sure Dan would tell her when he was ready. But she wasn't oblivious, she knew what love looked like. And the expression on her grandson's face was a good example of it. So she remained silent, finishing cooking dinner, while the two were still in their own world.

Her little (not so little anymore, actually) Daniel was in love. With a boy. Who loved him back.

She was happy for him.

"Dinner is finished. Could you help me set the table, please?" She asked a few minutes later. Phil immediately enthusiastically jumped up from his seat. "I'll help!" Dan joined in as well, though since Veronica and Phil took everything, he didn't do much else but linger in Phil's personal space like he physically could not be apart from the other boy for more than a few seconds. So very endearing. It reminded her of herself and her husband when they were younger and falling in love. "This is amazing, actually!" Phil exclaimed as he took the first bite after they all settled at the dining table. Veronica smiled at him. "I'm quite glad. Enjoy."

They talked as they ate. Veronica asked all the questions she could think of. She found out little facts about Phil, about his family, about where he lived and what he worked as, about his two degrees and his YouTube channel and his dreams. He was a lovely person. Happy, patient, silly in a very endearing way. She absolutely understood why Dan liked him so much, and it was incredibly cute to see Dan hang onto his every word like he was speaking about the most important topics in the world when really, he was just talking about something dumb he and his older brother did when they were kids.

By that point, she had no doubts that this weekend was gonna go perfectly fine and she had nothing to worry about. Phil was a good guy, that much she was sure of. A little all over the place, but fun, friendly, polite, and, most importantly: someone who genuinely seemed to deeply care for Dan. And that was really all she ever wanted for him, to find someone that would make him happy.

She didn't stay for long after dinner, deciding she should give them privacy and time to do whatever young people liked doing these days. She said goodbye to Phil who waved at her from the sofa where he was preparing DVDs for a movie marathon he and Dan wanted to do tonight. Dan walked her to the door, helping her slip her coat back on and smiling at her warmly.

"What a nice young man." She said with a nod. Dan looked away, but she saw his cheeks turning pink. "He is." Dan mumbled quietly. "He really is. I'm so happy he's my—" He seemingly caught himself just in time and quickly shook his head. "My best friend. He's my best friend. And I really like hanging out with him, so.. I hope you like him too." Veronica placed her hands on his shoulders. "I do like him. A lot, in fact. How about you invite him to come visit us next time he's here? I'm sure popsie would love to meet him as well. And we can play board games or watch a movie, or do something fun out in town, whatever you two want."

She wasn't sure whether she was just imagining things, but she almost thought she saw Dan's eyes go slightly glassy. Not in the sad way they used to do after school though. This was different. And then Dan was hugging her tightly and burying his face in her shoulder and Veronica smiled to herself as she rubbed his back. She was still determined not to pry, but she felt like saying something anyway.

"He's lovely, Daniel, your friend. And I'm glad you have someone you can be so open and yourself with. If he makes you happy, then that's the most important thing in the world to me. And you can spend as much time as you want with him. Just make sure to look after each other, you two." Dan nodded against her shoulder and sniffled once before calming himself down. "He does make me very happy. And we will look after each other. I promise." Then they said their goodbyes as well.

The rest of the family were set to return Sunday afternoon shortly after Phil was gonna get on the train back to Manchester. Veronica showed up intentionally late and almost immediately excused herself to 'go look for any explosions around the house' when really, she just wanted to give the two boys a private moment to say their goodbyes to each other in the safety of the house. Eventually, she found Phil in the hallway, waiting for Dan to get dressed properly as he insisted on accompanying Phil to the train station.

"Did you have fun on your weekend?" Veronica asked. Phil nearly jumped from where he'd just been tying his shoelaces and then laughed at the way he'd almost fallen over. "We did. Watched lots of movies and played video games, recorded stuff for our YouTube channels. It was nice, and thank you too for the hospitality and the food. Veronica waved him off with a smile. "It's quite alright, Philip. It was an honor to finally meet and get to know you. Next time, you and Daniel should come visit me and my husband." Phil grinned. "Yup! Dan already warned me. I said I'd happily visit next time I'm here."

The corridor was quiet for a moment, then Veronica slowly walked over to the man and patted his arm. "Look out for him, alright? I don't know how much he's told you, but I know he deserves people like you in his life, and I trust you know too." Phil's eyes softened into a sincere, warm expression. "I know. And I promise I'll always, always look after him. No matter what."

Their conversation was cut short when Dan returned from his room, dressed in fresh clothes that were acceptable to wear in public. He raised an eyebrow. "Secret conversation?" He asked suspiciously. Both Phil and Veronica laughed. "Don't worry, I just decided might as well invite him over personally." Dan seemed to accept that and grabbed his jacket, opening the door. "Alright then. See you in a bit, Nana! C'mon Phil! We got like- 20 minutes until you're supposed to be on the train." Phil laughed as Dan dragged him along by the sleeve and waved at Veronica one last time before the front door shut, leaving her alone in the house.

Shortly after the two boys left, the phone rang with Dan's father calling to announce that they were gonna get home in roughly thirty minutes. Just enough time to prepare pastries and coffee for everyone. So that was what Veronica did while she waited. By the time the keys turned in the front door, the dining room was all ready for a nice afternoon get together.

"We're home!" Adrian announced, only briefly greeting Veronica before happily inspecting the pastries. making her laugh. He was soon followed by his parents, his father excusing himself to put away their bags before joining them.

"Where's Dan?" his mother asked. Veronica smiled as she sat down at the table. "Insisted on accompanying Phil to the train station, but he should be back soon. A sigh of relief as Dan's mother sat down next to her. "I take it everything went well then?" She asked. Veronica nodded. "Very well. The boys had a lot of fun. Phil is lovely, isn't he?" The younger woman smiled a small smile. "He is. I suppose I was just a little worried. Y'know, Dan often gets.. weird when talking about Phil, much more than about any of his other friends, like he's not telling us something. But then whenever they meet up he seems so happy and like everything is going great, so I'm just a little confused. But if everything's alright, I guess I'm worrying about nothing."

So Dan's parents didn't seem to know either. Interesting. Something deep in her heart told Veronica that maybe, just maybe, she should keep her theories to herself for the moment. Still, she could reassure her daughter anyway.

"Well, from what I've seen, these two get along splendidly. So I say we just watch this play out. They're both adults. I'm sure they can handle themselves. And I'm sure that if there was something wrong, Dan wouldn't keep visiting him every other weekend." The younger woman sighed. "I guess you're right. They can handle themselves." Then she smiled. "You made coffee and got out some pastries?" Veronica nodded and grabbed both of their plates. "Obviously. Now sit down. You've had a long drive back home. And maybe Dan will tell you about the weekend when he gets back.

"Is everything alright?" Veronica was shaken out of her thoughts by Emilia, one of the nice young ladies that helped with the production of the Podcast. They were currently getting ready for filming with the two boys (grown adult men, but they would always be her boys) adjusting some of the lighting across the room. "Quite alright. I was just thinking." Emilia sat down on the couch next to her. "Yea?"

Veronica watched Dan and Phil across the room. Older, but still themselves. She could still see their younger selves in them now, especially since October, more than ever. She knew now, had known the entire time, really. That they were in love.

Up until very recently, at family gatherings, celebrations, everything, there'd always been questions floating around from friends and extended family. 'What's Dan been doing lately?', 'I saw Dan in a news article a couple of days ago.', 'How are Dan's recent projects coming along?' and most importantly: 'So, who is this Phil guy that's always with him anyway?'

At least from newer friends, or people who weren't at many of those gatherings. Because most of the closer ones at this point knew.

Phil was Phil.

Phil had been Phil for nearly 17 years. And a lot of them had eventually stopped asking. Even the ones that hadn't been told explicitly. Most of them eventually simply assumed Phil was Dan's life partner. Most of them were spot on.

Now, however, they could all just say it out loud.

"Who is Phil?" one of their newest friends would ask. "Dan's boyfriend." They could answer. "They've been together for 17 years." And people would look at them, impressed, and talk about how amazing and sweet it was that someone at this age had such a long-term, committed, stable relationship.

It already felt great to Veronica, her husband, Dan's mom, his brother, other people, to not have to be ambiguous about it anymore, to be able to say these two were together. Veronica could only imagine what it felt like for Dan and Phil themselves to say it. After so many years and so many hardships. Veronica was so very proud of them.

Who is Phil, to Dan? Well, he's his everything. The most important, deepest connection in his life, and that was beautiful. These days, so many peoples' lives flew past so quickly. Different partners, different jobs. Veronica heard stories, occasionally, from her friends, talking about their grandchildren. About failed marriages and unplanned parenthood, about relationships that simply didn't seem to work out like they were supposed to.

And then there were Dan and Phil.

Veronica watched as Dan made what was likely a distasteful joke, watched as Phil rolled his eyes and elbowed him in the ribs and throughout it all still looked like Dan had hung all the stars in the sky.

They were happy, these two. Together. Everything had worked out, even in times where things had gotten difficult. Carried by their dedication to doing what they loved and their love for each other.

It felt like a distant memory now, that first day she met Phil. And technically, it was, getting closer to two decades day by day. Subconsciously, she knew Phil was the one for Dan then. And throughout the years, Phil would prove her right over and over again with all of the patience and love he had for her grandson, no matter what they faced together and separately.

A love this pure was worth everything.

The memories would always linger, of Dan, devastated. During school, during the parts of his YouTube career where everything got difficult. And yet, along with all those memories, since 2009, there'd always be a certain warmth tied directly to a very special person.

'Phil talked to me about […]'
'Phil had this idea on how to deal with […]'
'Phil encouraged me to […]'
'Phil was there with me when I was going through […]'
'I want to do this. For him. For me. For us.'
'Phil's the best. I love him so much, you don't even understand.'

"Alright you fucking perfectionist, we're just gonna leave it like this for now." Dan said, shaking his head, amused. Phil pouted. "But what if—", "No. No. It's fine. Plus, who's gonna stop us from adjusting the light again while filming if something seems off?" Dan swiftly interrupted him. Phil stuck out his tongue and crossed his arms, looking away. Dan briefly glanced over at Veronica and fondly rolled his eyes at his partner's antics, pointing at him exasperated, making her chuckle under her breath. "Can you believe this guy?" He asked. Veronica looked away, the pictures of a multitude of different strange items on the wall suddenly very interesting. "All yours to deal with, I'm just the guest." She responded with a smile. Dan groaned, but the look he sent in Phil's direction remained fond as ever.

"Fine. Come on Philly, don't be a baby. Hey! Are you seriously ignoring me now?! Hey, pay attention to me you twat. Come onnnn." Veronica, as well as both of the producers started laughing as they watched Dan try to coax Phil into not ignoring him. How sweet. Her two boys, acting like they've been married for 50 years, as they always did. They had come so far.

"What were you thinking about anyway?" Emilia continued her question from earlier. They were all so used to the fond arguments and bickering between the two men that they easily faded into the background. "Just about how much they've grown, and how very happy I am for them. And how happy for myself I am as well, because I finally get to tell people embarrassing stories about those two without the risk of saying too much on accident."

Minutes later, the argument (that really wasn't much of an argument in the first place, no matter how dramatic they acted) ended, and everyone settled into their places for the podcast recording. Veronica on an inflatable chair, Dan and Phil on an inflatable sofa, so close they were basically on top of each other.

"Ready then, Nana?" Dan asked. "More than ready." Veronica responded. "Well then, I am mentally prepared to possibly get roasted into oblivion." Dan continued. "Producers, action!"

Freedom looked good on them.

Notes:

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