Work Text:
Canadian Goods TM
which one of you fuckers did it
Banana
What the fuck?
Panzer
? good morning to you too
who stole my stuff
I left it in my locker
and I just clocked in and it's not here
Banana
Maybe it was Neptune
Banana
I think he was off his pills again
Neptune
Fuck u too asshole
Neptune
It wasn't me I was off yesterday
Panzer
off your pills?
Neptune
Off doing other stuff smartass
oh my god shut up
do you guys know what that means?????
Panzer
?
Banana
What
someone fucking sneaked into our van and stole from us
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
heyyyyy
you had access to the cameras right?
Oh god
What did you do now
why does it have to be MY fault?
Bc it always is?????
ok well not today
Wow that's a first
fuck you
I think someone sneaked into our van
Shit wait really??
What happened???
some stuff is missing from my locker
Dude...
It was probably one of your coworkers
you say that like I wouldn't have interrogated them already
they're innocent
How can you know??
well Banana wasn't working yesterday, Panzer wouldn't steal from anyone and Neptune wasn't on the van
Ohhhh yeah
I remember Ish mentioned Neptune was terrorizing other food trucks
I believe he said he was advertising our business
Whatever lol
Are you sure it wasn't Panzer??
nah dude it's not like him
he might snoop but he doesn't steal
he's our moral compass
Right
Well sadly the cameras from that area have been down for a couple of days
So :/
FUCK.
Ish Event Organizer
there's a thief in your event
Excuse me?
someone sneaked into my van and stole stuff from my locker thingy
Have you checked with your coworkers?
Maybe they got confused
that's not how lockers work but ok
anyway yes I have done that already
it wasn't them
so it has to be someone else
Jesus Christ ok
Open an official ticket via email please
There's an actual protocol for this kind of stuff
oh
Yeah
ok that makes sense
my bad
Darling Sister Jophiel
Saps told me you're making trouble
What's wrong?
my stuff got stolen :(
Oh he didn't mention that part
asshole
Shush
Have you checked with your coworkers from the Canadian Cartel?
Canadian Goods***
why does everyone even call us that?
Because everyone knows you sell drugs on the dl
yeah but not on our actual business
that's our side gig
Did you or did you not ask them?
obviously I did!
why would I not ask my own coworkers before contacting management?
why does everyone keep asking me that?
Because we all know you all can get a little...
All four of you jump the gun sometimes
we can be responsible.
Of course!!
that felt condescending
Only due to my eldest sibling status
fair
Anyways have you opened a ticket yet?
I yelled at Ish first
then he told me that that's an actual thing I can do
I'm waiting rn
Of course you yelled at Ish
I just want my stuff back :(
You'll find it soon enough
I'm sure <3
thanks Joph
Thomas conspiracy
Tell your coworker to stop harrassing us
which one of them dawg
???? Wdym which one
The one widely known for harrassing people
The aggressive one
you say that like we can control Neptune
we've tried in the past
spoiler alert
we fail most times
Well you could at least try??
give me my stuff back and I'll think about it
????
What the fuck are you on about
Are you all high rn is that's what's happening
HE JUST TRIED TO EGT IN TO STARNGLE ME WHAT TEH FUCK IS WORNG WITH YOU ALL
Cass Section Leader
ok so I checked with management and they did confirm that cameras don't work
so that's great
I'm pretty sure that's against the precint's policy or whatever
probably is icl
but anyways they did mention that the area is locked at night and when they opened there were no signs of struggle or anything
so it happened during the day
could it have been a customer?
I honestly doubt it
we do have this one guy that keeps forcing his way in to try to get to our stash but he's never managed to get to our lockers
omg Micro
PLEASE tell me you opened a ticket about that
if you give me two minutes I won't have to lie to you
MICRO
I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE TICKETS OK?
YOUR BROTHER HAS BEEN WORKING IN THIS EVENT FOR YEARS HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW?
BECAUSE HE FUCKING HATES ME I GUESS
AND YOU'VE ALSO BEEN HERE FOR YEARS
I'M STUPID I GUESS?? LET'S MOVE ON
right ok i can open that ticket for you so you don't have to stress about it
what's the guy's name?
Zakarious
ok gotchu
thanks cass
my favourite section leader
flattery will get you nowhere
but thanks ig
Madz barbieland
did your stuff really get stolen?
wow news travel fast huh
a little lol
it did
not much tho
soooo does that mean you're still coming to the Mattel beach party???? :D
? of course
we wouldn't dare miss it
all four of us are gonna be there
perfect!!!! ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜)
thank uu (˶>⩊<˶)
it's nbd
Canadian Goods TM
Neptune
Ok so it wasn't anyone from the conspiracy
Neptune
I threatened the twink but he didn't spill
Banana
brother there's like 3 twinks in that group which one are you talking about
Panzer
aren't they like
Panzer
really good at lying and manipulating or whatever
Banana
that's so cringe
Neptune
Yeah but I held a knife to his throat so I don't think he was really thinking about lying to me
right so Thomas didn't mention that part
anyways that's good to know I guess
in other news
did you guys know that you can open tickets in the official event's email for stuff that's troubling your business
Panzer
that's something you can actually do????
Banana
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME WE COULD HAVE BANNED THE GUY THAT KEEPS TRYING TO STEAL OUR DRUGS AGES AGO?
Banana
FUCK YOU MICRO
? WHY ME
Neptune
I'm interrogating the barbieland people next brb
NO DON'T DO THAT
Banana
STOPSOTPSTOPSTOP
Panzer
they actually buy our stuff Neptune omg I'm begging you
Banana
NEPTUNE IF YOU MAKE US LOSE THEM AS A CUSTOMER I'M TRASHING YOUR STASH
Neptune
YOU LEAVE MY STASH ALONE I WORKED HARD ON IT
I'm gonna kill us all
Fluixon conspiracy
Your coworker held a knife to my friend's throat
right so
Thomas didn't tell me that part
He was being held at knifepoint?
and how tf was i supposed to know that?
go back to your evil plans of killing my brother or smth idk
you worry about your friend i worry about mine
????
Your friend wasn't the one threatened with a weapon?????
Asshole brother #2 (Snowbird)
JESUS CHRIST TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO LEAVE ME ALONE
ok so I KNOW Neptune didn't threaten you too
stop being a baby
???? I'm not being a baby
I'm trying to have a life outside my siblings
get a life
stop trying to be nonchalant
also how do you expect to manage that when we work in the same place?
moron
ASSHAT
State Food Truck Event 2.5
Ish Event Organizer
That's all wrapped up for today! Thank you so much everyone for joining us for the 5th day of this event :) As always, we'll open the gates bright and early tomorrow, so pleace make sure you don't leave any personal belongings behind and lock your vans/trucks!
Ish Event Organizer
Also, friendly reminder that you can open a ticket by emailing us on [email protected] if you've had any problems today or during the event as a whole
Ish Event Organizer
Me and the rest of the team will do our best to solve them so your experience can be as peaceful as possible
that feels targeted and I don't like it
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
It is
Thomas Conspiracy
Can I open a ticket
Thomas Conspiracy
It's regarding the Canadian Cartel
Thomas Conspiracy
I wanna sue them for emotional distress and bodily harm
IT'S CANADIAN GOODS WE'RE NOT A CARTEL
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
YOU LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL ME YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT
Ish Event Organizer
Please use the ticket system for serious concerns only
Ish Event Organizer
I am begging you
Ish Event Organizer
Please :(
Darling Sister Jophiel
Look at what you've done, you've made him sad
Ciaran Pirate Guy
Hey!! Did you end up finding your stuff?
I didn't, no
it's still missing
Oh damn really??
That's a shame
Are you sure it couldn't have been that Zakarious guy that keeps bothering you?
I wish
at least we'd have a good reason to kick his ass but nooo he has an alibi
That sucks
On another note, do you guys have any of your secret stuff left??
oh totally man
if you want it rn I'm not in the van but you can talk to Banana and he'll get you whatever you want
Thanks man
Lingulini Mafia
imagine having your stuff stolen lol
man leave me alone
it was supposed to be safe and sound in my locker
that's how lockers work
also didn't you literally try to scam Infernus??
yeah that's right don't reply to me
Pinkwinx Bakery
Hey I heard your stuff still hasn't been found
that's right
we haven't found the culprit
Oh shit that sucks
You can still spare your secret stuff no?
? why wouldn't I?
Didn't your cocaine get stolen??
wait
Canadian Goods TM
DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT WHAT GOT STOLEN FROM MY LOCKER WAS COCAINE?
Panzer
huh??
Banana
Yes????
Banana
Wait is that not it??
NO
Neptune
Oh shit I'm gonna stop threatening people then
Neptune
I thought this was an attack against our business not just you
FUCK YOU NEPTUNE?
Banana
I mean he is right we all thought this was against all of us
Banana
But whoever it was just hates you? What the hell??
Panzer
wait what was stolen then?
State Food Truck Event 2.5
fuck every single one of you I hope you all burn in hell
DO YOU REALLY HAVE SO LITTLE FAITH IN ME?
Ish Event Organizer
What the hell is going on?
Cass Section Leader
Micro are you ok???
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
???????
Asshole Brother #2 (Snowbird)
FUCK YOU TOO
DID YOU ALL SERIOUSLY THINK I WAS SO UPSET OVER MY COCAINE BEING STOLEN?
NONE OF MY DRUGS HAVE BEEN STOLEN ASSHOLES
Fluixon Conspiracy
Wait fr?
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
WHAT??
Is Event Organizer
People thought that?
Is Event Organizer
Guys if that was the case I wouldn't have taken it so seriously
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
ISH YOU KNEW???
Ish Event Organizer
OF COURSE I KNEW HE TOLD ME WHEN HE SENT THE TICKET
if you're a drug dealer people will think that's the only thing you care about
ok I see how it is
I'm gonna up my prices now
Banana
No you aren't
fuck you
Cass Section Leader
what got stolen then?
MY BRACELET
you know, the golden one?
the one part of the matching set I have with my siblings?
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
Oh shit wait really??
Asshole Brother #2 (Snowbird)
Fuck off no it isn't
OH NOW YOU CARE
Thomas Conspiracy
Damn I feel like an asshole now
FUCK YOU ALL
Darling Sister Jophiel
You're not gonna believe what just happened
?
Come outside :)
State Food Truck Event 2.5
Ish Event Organizer
I know not everyone might care, but Micro's stolen bracelet has finally been found!
Asshole Brother #2 (Snowbird)
Oh thank fuck
Cass Section Leader
let's go!!!!
everyone say thank you Jophiel you're the best and we would all die without you
Ish Event Organizer
You're the best, Jophiel!
Asshole Brother #1 (Saps)
WE LOVE YOUUUU
Alk Aperion
You're great!
Asshole Brother #2 (Snowbird)
Thanks for saving our asses Joph you're my favorite sibling
Darling Sister Jophiel
Aww thank you everyone! <3
I'm sending you a gift basket as soon as I get out of work today