Work Text:
“Okay I think this pair of boots should work if we gotta track some fucker down in the swamp again,” Blitz decided, patting the box before heading towards the wardrobe closet.
“Dear, you know that your crystal can change your appearance to whatever you want, right?” Stolas reminded him, looking up from his desk. “I’ve been meaning to ask about that–”
“Ahh I’ve been used to dressing up for missions so long it’s second nature to me!” Blitz laughed, turning the knob. “Besides, I look damned good in whatever I wear, right?”
“Er, I wouldn’t open–!” Stolas tried before an avalanche of clothes fell on top of Blitz.
*FWUMP*
“That…” he winced before moving to help him. He pulled garment after garment off before pulling Blitz out of a pile of coats. “Gracious! Are you alright?”
“Pweh!” Blitz gagged, spitting out a sock before giving Stolas a sheepish grin. “We uh…we probably need to organize that closet, huh?”
“I’d say that is a very strong yes.”
(...)
With Chaz watching Ruby May for the day and no missions to Earth, today’s work day was going to have the gang organizing the disguise closet. If a mission needed a little more time to watch the fuckhead(s) they were going to kill that week, they’d dress up in whatever was fitting for the area. If it was a school and a perverted teacher or staff member needed to be taken out, they’d dress like students or janitors. If it was an office setting, they’d dress in professional wear that’d fit around a water cooler.
Fortunately, most humans were too stupid to notice if their horns or tails were sticking out so they’d only rarely have to hide those.
“Fuck…how many disguises have you picked up since starting this job?” Loona questioned as she picked up a pair of platform shoes.
“You’d be surprised, kiddo,” Blitz winked as he set the ugly shoes aside. “Mox might be a worrywart but having outfits for every possible mission is a good idea.”
“And a disco outfit was necessary because…?” Stolas asked, shuddering from the tacky leisure suit that he managed to dig up to go with the platform shoes.
“Oh I remember that one!” Millie giggled. “A go-go dancer was electrocuted by a jealous dancer so we have to sneak in and get her back for the client.”
“Millie and I distracted her with our couple’s dance moves while the Boss got her with a disco ball to the head,” Moxxie explained, smiling fondly. “Very Phantom of the Opera-esque, Sir.”
“That was a fun mission but those bellbottom pants were so UGLY! No wonder my dad said the 70s were when fashion had its awkward teenage years,” the taller imp joked, giving Stolas a nod. “We can donate that shit.”
Stolas summoned a box and folded the rather…tacky outfits into a neat pile while placing the shoes on top.
Millie picked out some pink frilly panties and turned to Moxxie. “Are these yours or mine?”
“Mine. You prefer boyshorts when we’re on missions and you’re in a male disguise,” Moxxie recalled.
“You disguise yourself down to your…ehem…unmentionables?” Stolas guessed, blushing slightly.
“Hey if we’re gonna be on Earth for a while, we’re gonna do it right,” Blitz told him.
“Exactly. I know that women’s underwear is expanding to actually having boxer-briefs for them to wear–” the white-haired imp began.
“Which is SUPER convenient during my time of the month these days!” Millie chimed in.
“But when I’m getting into a disguise role on a mission, I want to actually fit the role properly. Right down to the…erm…intimate parts,” he finished with a cough.
“Well can you puh-lease actually put them away instead of shoving them in the closet? It’s gross when I’m looking for something and seeing a pair of them fall out,” Loona shuddered.
Stolas was making mental notes for storage for smaller costume pieces when he saw a plastic bin for the various wigs and hats they’d use sometimes. It really was like a theater with all the props they would use sometimes…though something smelled off with them.
“You do know that wigs after extended use should be washed…right?” Stolas suggested, picking out a particularly ratty looking one.
“I keep telling them that but Blitz just sprays them down with a fabric air freshener,” Moxxie sighed.
“Hey do YOU wanna wash off this shit after a long day of killing humans?” the taller imp questioned. “We already gotta clean human goo off of us and we don’t wear the wigs THAT long so we just store ‘em in there.”
“Perhaps some mannequin heads would help keep their shape and let them air out after washing them so they wouldn’t get…odorous,” Stolas suggested before looking at the tangled mess of one. “Although some of these look unsalvagable…”
“I guess you have a bit of your dad’s cleaning instincts in ya after all, eh Stols?” Blitz chuckled.
“He might’ve been a bit over the top but he knew how to keep a house clean,” the prince mused before laughing lightly. “Actually, perhaps it’s a good thing he isn’t here right now.”
“Why’s that?” Millie wondered.
“He would go on a cleaning spree and wouldn’t stop at the closet,” the tall Goetia told her.
Eventually, after a few trips to some specialty shops for storage items, they got everything organized and cleaned up, making it a lot easier to find things. On the top shelf of the closet were mannequin head busts that would hold their most frequently used wigs. Next to them, in sealed bags, were their less commonly used wigs which could be picked out at any time, ranging from various styles. For the costumes that could be hung up, Stolas arranged them by style and seasonal needs with color-coded hangers for each member of IMP. Red for Blitz, Orange for Millie, Yellow for Loona, and Green for Moxxie. This way no one could mistake another’s clothes for each other’s. The same process was made for their intimates with each storage big having a large colorful sticker on the front that would say who it belonged to. On the bottom of the closet was shoe storage which wasn’t as needed for Millie and Moxxie since they had hooves but sometimes they needed to disguise their feet as well. There were also a few bins that held various costume pieces that didn’t necessarily belong to any one imp.
If Millie needed Groucho Marx glasses, she could borrow them from Blitz
They also added lights that could just be tapped to light the closet since pull strings were too much of a pain in the ass to deal with.
“Wow! This looks great!” Blitz commented.
“I’m not as much of a neat freak as my father but I did my best,” Stolas hooted proudly.
“This is going to make finding the right costumes SO much easier!” Moxxie grinned excitedly.
“And with all the old stuff goin’ to the second-hand shop or bein’ tossed in the trash, we’ve got more room for stuff!” Millie clapped.
“Hey maybe I can get a few things too,” Loona mused, already planning a shopping trip with Octavia.
“Great work, Pretty Bird!” Blitz cooed.
While the gang was looking over their newly organized wardrobe, Stolas quickly took a picture and sent it to his father. He waited for a minute before getting a reply, chuckling at how proud he seemed.
Excellent work with the storage units and color-coded hangers/labels, son!
I’ve taught you well!
‘You certainly have, father,’ Stolas thought to himself
[END]