During the events of Sanctuary’s fall, a lone girl stepped towards what was essentially a tomb. Whether or not it would be hers as well remained to be seen. Regardless, she had a job to do.

A job she volunteered for.

A job she needed to handle personally. 

A job a certain mean-eyed boy was counting on her to perform.

She silently prayed that she would live long enough to see his smiling face again, just to rub her victory in his face. 

Up ahead stood a long figure, one she knew intimately. He had been her heart’s desire for a long time. Now, he was to be her foe. 

How cruel and necessary this confrontation had become.

“Did I not order you to wait for Emilia-sama?” The voice of Roswaal asked as he turned to greet his visitor. 

Ram walked forward, the mist within Ryuzu Meyer’s grave parting as the oni maid brandished her wand. 

“Yes, you did.” She responded, her palms clammy despite the bravery/bravado she possessed. 

“Tell me. For what reason did you come here?” The Margrave asked, his expression not changing from one of amusement born of superiority. 

“It’s simple.” Ram raised her weapon and pointed it at her master’s chest with a decisive flourish. “I’ve come to take you away from the witch’s delusions.”

She meant this declaration, truly. 

Yet it would not be so easy. 

“Delusions, hm?” Roswaal’s anger was subtly rising, as it always did when someone insulted his beloved Teacher. “It’s been some time since you’ve pointed your wand at me, but it’s truly a shame that you did so here and called them ‘delusions’.”

Ram would not back down. The age of being his obedient little pawn was over. Now she was her own woman and she had something to fight for. 

Her heart.

“I’ve always considered them such. I just never said it aloud.” Narrowing her red eyes, Ram had to play every card at her disposal. “Whether I let you live or kill you is up to me.”

She had never forgotten their deal, not once, but things had long since changed in the years following it being struck. 

“You can finally achieve your retribution.” Roswaal said with a sinister smile as he reached into his outfit and pulled out his Tome of Wisdom, the cursed black book given to him by Echidna centuries ago. 

It made Ram’s heart grow a protective layer of stone. 

“You have no choice but to swear loyalty against your will to one of the men who destroyed your homeland, and live with him.”

He said those words so casually that a weaker woman would have broken down, but not Ram. She was always made of stronger stuff than others. It’s how she managed to get this far, to survive not just the Witch’s Cult, but the death of her people, her family, and the willingness to serve Roswaal after learning the truth. 

“Although you had to do it after losing your horn and your ability to maintain your form, suffering of this degree is uncommonly rare.”

While true, Ram did not feel miserable for that reason. No, her sorrow came from another source. One far closer than home.

“There is no pawn more useful than you, which is why it is such a shame… that your decision was just the slightest bit…” Roswaal lowered his face, his eyes sharpening. “... premature.”

Ram kept her face stoic throughout the entire conversation. Nothing he said fazed her, at least on the outside. 

Inside, Ram felt everything within her coiling like a spring. 

“It is impressive that you created a situation in which I had to carry the Tome of Wisdom. You should have overlooked this last step toward the action I was planning to take.” The clown mage spread his arms wide, the Tome still visible in his grasp. “That alone is the true shame!”

The gigantic blue gem behind him began to glow with brilliant azure light. 

Ram’s breath momentarily caught in her throat as she narrowed her eyes from the light, not quite sure of what was happening. 

“This is the precious young girl who offered her own life to save her friend by becoming the Sanctuary’s core. But my objective is not her.”

That didn’t sit well with Ram. “You intend to use this crystal to cast great magic?”

“Great enough to change the weather.”

The weather? He intends to change nature itself?

“In accordance with the Tome, I will make snow fall in the Sanctuary.”
Roswaal’s smile fell. The amusement was over. “But do you believe you can defeat me now?”

Well, if Ram were honest…

“No, I’m sure I can’t. My understanding of your power is second only to your teacher’s.”

Roswaal didn’t seem taken aback, but there was a small amount of confusion behind his eyes. He was waiting for a trick, a trap. Anything she had up her sleeve to give her an edge. 

“Then how, exactly, do you intend to achieve your goal?” He asked as he put away his Tome and lifted both gloved hands up to shoulder level, magic beyond what many could ever hope to achieve coming to lift above his palms. 

Ram’s grip on her wand tightened. This was it. Everything was coming to a head. 

“I cannot win alone. That much is clear. So…”

So she revealed her trump card. 

Lifting her left fist up, she uncurled her fingers to reveal a blue crystal. 

“If it’s two against one, I guess we have the advantage?”

Roswaal’s eyes widened. He knew exactly what that crystal was, and who it contained. Without a doubt…

“So this is the main reason you agreed to Subaru-kun’s plan?!”

Subaru-kun’s plan. 

She never thought in a million years that she would have agreed to something that came out of that idiot’s brain, but here she was. Not only had his plan been surprisingly thorough, but it impressed her with how quickly it convinced her to join his side. Truly, his confidence must have had something to do with it. 

When he smiled after telling her his plan, Ram felt something in her chest melt just a little towards him. If it worked, then maybe her dreams would be realized. Could this useless boy actually be the catalyst, not for Roswaal’s plans, but for her own?

Something told her it was just so. 

Perhaps if she survived this, she should stop underestimating him. Maybe even give him a reward. Or at least a ‘thank you’.

Ram allowed herself a small smile at the image of Barusu’s reaction to her thanking him for anything. “I told you, Roswaal-sama. I’m going to take you away from the witch’s delusions.”

Above the crystal, her partner for this grandeur materialized. 

A tiny grey cat with the audacity to rub his eyes sleepily before the greatest mage in the world. 

“And I’m just a passing stray spirit.” Puck said smugly, cleaning his face with a paw. “Well, time to finish where we left off before!”

As the ensuing battle raged, Ram enacted her plan as efficiently as she could, even at the cost of herself and her mana reserves. 

Their dialogue continued as they fought. 

“When did you put that spell on Lia?” Puck asked, his normally cute face scrunching up into something dangerous. 

“Before heading into the Sanctuary.” Roswaal confessed with that eerily calm smile of his. “Doctoring the contract between you and Emilia-sama while she was depressed after a fight with Subaru-kun was simple.”

Ram set her jaw. 

Of course… Barusu. 

Roswaal-sama’s trump card.

“You wanted Lia to stay discouraged?”

“Yes. Restricting Subaru-kun’s actions took more effort than anything else. He is the last key to the unlocking of my dearest wish.”

Ram’s face tightened as she thought of how Barusu had always been used, ever since he fell into Emilia’s service. She knew of Roswaal-sama’s plans for Barusu, of course, and knew how much the mage held the boy in such high regard as an indisposable tool. 

She just never could fathom why. 

That walking, talking bleeding heart was certainly inspiring, even heroic at times, but still… She pitied him.

Perhaps this- being used, being pawns in a game of twisted love- was something they had in common. 

The two of them continued as Ram returned to the conversation, her thoughts having been pulled away by thoughts of the raven-haired butler.

“... I am forever looking back upon the past. For me, all the wonderful things that ever happened were in the past. All that exists now is a phony standing atop a pile of corpses.”

Ram’s shoulders sagged, her heart cracking. She had never heard her master speak of himself this way. 

The fight continued and after a series of magical blows, Roswaal managed to hit her in the gut before Puck pushed him back. She tried to distance herself, but the pain was intense in her already damaged body. 

“I am disappointed in you, Ram.”

The Oni God’s eyes widened, her chest aching alongside the strike to her abdomen. 

As Roswaal burst through the icy walls formed around him with Fire magic, he strode forward in a cloak of heat. His heterochromatic eyes held a deep sadness, one she had never seen in them before. It tore her apart in ways she didn’t think she could feel. 

“I wanted you to exact justice for your brethren and find happiness.”

His words settled upon her shoulders and weighed her down, forcing her to lower her face until shadows obscured how hurt she truly was. 

He thinks… that’s what I want?

She raised her head, fury rising up in her throat. 

“Ram?” He asked her.

“After repeating it so many times.” Ram practically growled out. “After touching upon it so many times. You still haven’t realized my true intentions.”

Legs weak, she fought for the strength to stand up. 

“I wish I was only just a demon, burning with hatred in her wish to avenge her brethren.” Finally, she stood, but yet she felt so hollow. Placing her hands over her petite chest, Ram muttered, “If only I was out for revenge, my heart would not hurt so.”

“But…”

Roswaal smiled, an ugly, self-satisfying thing. Something that didn’t belong on his face, or anyone’s. This was a side of him that she did not like, for it was the side that willingly hurt her. Because she was a pawn, a tool. 

Ram raised her head so that their eyes could meet.

She was nothing.

Even so, she…

With crimson eyes filled with more tenderness than she ever showed to the world, Ram said the three words that were etched upon her heart.

“I… love you.”

She waited for a response, waited and hoped and prayed for the response she wanted.

When his face morphed into one of horror, she felt herself die a little inside. 

“Is… something wrong?” She asked, internally pleading that she was mistaken. 

“Wrong?” Roswaal asked, his voice vibrating with laughter. “Are you making fun of me? After all this?”

No… No, no, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go!

Ram knew she had to convince him before it was too later, before-

“I only said what I truly feel.”

The words came out as soft, almost frightened. Like a girl whose dreams were mercilessly dashed. 

He didn’t care. 

“I know that cannot be true!” Roswaal shouted, his magic flaring to reflect his anger. “You love me? How dare you say that! I am the one you hate! I am the one who caused the destruction of your homeland! I know you hated me so much that you wanted to kill me!”

“That was true at first, but not now!” Ram pleaded, eyes like shimmering pools of ruby waters. “I love you.”

Maybe this time, he’ll believe her-

“Who would believe in such a cheap emotion?!” He roared. “What of your revenge? Did you not swear upon the souls of your brethren that you’d achieve it?!”

Ram didn’t know what to say, so she only addressed him as he spoke. 

“I do feel as though I’ve wronged my brethren, but I cannot help that I love you. I will prioritize my own feelings over those of the dead.”

After all, they were dead now. What good does their revenge serve her now?

To that end, she had to end this now.

“Great Spirit!” 

Puck mainly fought against Roswaal, using ice magic to distract and wear him down while Ram waited from the clown’s guard to lower. They both knew it was an uphill battle, one neither had the strength to keep up for long. 

As ice encased the battlefield and Puck made himself appear bigger, Roswaal was momentarily stunned as he feared the Beast of the End had returned. He blasted the entire landscape with scorching flames in retaliation, the forest burning around them as he tried to take out Puck for his tactic.

Only it was a feint, the very one Ram needed.

For a moment, she summoned a fraction of her old power in order to break through a casing of ice magic and to snatch the book from Roswaal’s person. 

As his world came crashing down, Ram threw the cursed object that bound him into the flames. 

“Now, at last…”

Then the flames engulfed her and sent her body flying. 

It was strange. The explosion devoured her senses, but as her mind began to shut down, she didn’t see the things she expected to see. Ram thought she’d see Roswaal embracing her, or maybe her life flashing before her eyes. Maybe she’d even see Puck saving her, but no. She saw none of those things. 

What she saw was Barusu’s smile as he convinced her of his plan and breathed life into her dreams once more, and for some reason…

For some reason… that made her happy.

Night reigned supreme over the land where the Miload’s manor was located, bringing its residents well-deserved sleep. All but two, who were sitting in the room, repurposed to work as an office for the Margrave Mathers. Coincidentally, he was the first one who was not sleeping at the moment. The second one was his most trusted and loyal maid, who, at the moment, was receiving her mana treatment.

Ram was sitting where she always sat during these sessions: on his lap, completely relaxed, abandoning all the dignity that her position as a maid technically implied. But she didn’t care. She was too busy revelling in the pleasant feelings of mana, moving from the tip of Roswaal’s gloved fingers right into her forehead and from there, throughout the whole body.

"It is, I must confess, a rather peculiar sort of i-i-irony," Roswaal said, his voice pitched in his usual annoying, non-serious tone. "Since my plans were discovered and ruined by Subaru-ku-u-un I have to be thrice as careful, twice as calculating despite being forced to abandon my evil sche-e-emes." He paused, and she could hear the smile in it. "One ill-timed gesture, and I rather expect the rest of our little camp will have me tied to a post in the courtyard before I can finish explaining myself."

He wasn't wrong. Ram knew that. The Emilia camp's trust in him was a fragile, watchful thing—extended on probation, renewed each week by his continued good behavior. Even Emilia, who wanted so badly to believe the best of people, watched him from the corner of her amethyst eyes when she thought he wasn't looking.

But that was a problem for the rest of the camp to have. Tonight, Ram had other purposes.

"You have no reason to worry, Roswaal-sama," Ram said quietly. “As long as you don’t try another foolish plan, making Barusu act against you and forcing Ram to begrudgingly join him, you’ll be fine.”

“That is qui-i-ite reassuring, my dear Ram. You and Subaru-kun embody not only my hopes but also are my only allies in our camp. However, I’m pretty lucky because my allies are few but influential.”

“Ram finds it quite disturbing that she’s put in the same league with the likes of Barusu. Nevertheless, she'll always be the one standing between you and your own worst impulses. That's precisely why she intends to remain by your side… until the very end.”

While saying these words, she placed her palm against his cheek to move his face and closed what small distance remained between them. She finally managed to kiss the man she loves. At least that’s what she would’ve said if not for a single finger that pressed against her lips, gentle as a closed door.

She opened her eyes. His were already on hers—mismatched, yellow and blue, and kind in the unhelpful way that kind things sometimes were.

"Ten years ago I believe I told you that you were four hundred years too young for me." He said without elongating the words to underline the importance of his words. "The arithmetic, I'm afraid, hasn't changed much."

Ram pulled back with all the composure at her disposal, which was considerable. "After everything that's happened since—after the Sanctuary and everything Ram told you that night—you ought to know better than to think she'll simply give up."

"And you ought to know," he replied, in that same unhurried tone, "that I say this not because I think poorly of you." He lifted his hand from her brow and let it fall to his knee. "You are young and beautiful, Ram. You are, by any honest measure, extraordinary. The whole world is open to you." 

The smile didn't leave his face. It just became something other than amusement. "You deserve far better than a scheming clown with one remaining obsession and no room in his chest for anything else."

"That," Ram said, with a precision that left no room for counterargument, "is for Ram to decide. Not anyone else. Even you."

He didn't argue. He finished the last thread of mana—she felt the familiar deep-bone warmth of being, however briefly, closer to whole—and withdrew his hand entirely. 

"Go and have your rest. Good night, Ram."

She rose, smoothed her skirt, and walked toward the door. She was close enough to reach for the handle when he spoke again.

"Ram."

She turned with a flicker of hope at the gentleness in his tone. He was looking at her steadily, with none of his usual theatrical softness. 

"These past years," he said, "I have come to think of you as something closer to a daughter than any of the previous Roswaals ever thought of their descendants. That is why I am telling you this sincerely, and not as a deflection: stop chasing the shadow of a man you believe you see in me. I am not that man. And if you keep pursuing something I am not capable of giving you, you will spend your finest years with nothing to show for the effort."

Silence lasted for some time. Ram's hand found the fabric of her skirt and closed around it. She held it tightly enough that the pressure became its own small anchor.

He was not being cruel. She knew that much. It was honesty, and it was genuine care, both coming from a man who had not always been showing either.

That was precisely what made it so difficult to bear.

"Good night, Roswaal-sama," Ram said. Her voice was perfectly level. She left the office and walked down the corridor without looking back.

She did not unclench her fist until she reached the stairs.

***

The kitchen at this hour belonged to no one. A single mana stone rested on the long table, dim enough now to throw more shadow than light. Ram was sitting at the same table with a few bottles of wine she took from the cellar and had not felt the need to explain herself to anyone, because there was no one to explain herself to.

She sat with her glass and Roswaal's voice going around and around in her head like water that couldn't find a drain.

“Closer to a daughter, he says." She murmured quietly.

She wondered whether Rem had known. Whether, in the times before the Gluttony had taken her sister into an endless slumber, Rem had looked at Ram and understood Ram’s feelings. Did Ram ever tell her sister about her feelings, or was she discreet about it? Would Ram have let herself be understood, even by Rem? 

What’s worse is she couldn’t even ask Barusu, the only person who had any knowledge about Rem. She poured another glass and was raising it when the floorboard near the pantry doorway let out a long, indiscreet creak.

Subaru stood in the entrance to the kitchen in his sleep clothes—dark trousers, a plain undershirt, hair listing badly to the left—squinting into the candlelight with the expression of a man whose eyes had not yet agreed to be awake. He found her, blinked, and the squint deepened into something more alert.

"Ram? What’re you doing up? It's the middle of the night."

"I might ask you the same question, Barusu."

He rubbed the side of his neck. "I, uh—wanted a glass of water."

She looked at him for precisely long enough to convey how little she believed this, then returned her attention to her wine. "Pathetic lies befitting a pathetic stalker. Drop whatever ideas you're entertaining about finding Ram drunk and helpless. You'll be disappointed."

"I'm not—ugh… You know, for someone in your current situation, you're really giving every maid in the kingdom a bad name."

"Tomorrow is my day off. I may do as I please."

He blinked. "Since when do you get a day off?"

"Since approximately one hour ago when Ram decided on this"

Subaru's mouth opened, then closed. He remained there for some time, looking carefully at the pink-haired girl, who was too busy emptying another glass. 

Looking closely, he became weary that something might be wrong. He knew Ram well enough to notice the lack of bite in her quips, like the form was still intact but lacked the usual energy inside. Making up his mind he silently crossed the kitchen without another word, took a second glass from the cabinet, brought it back to the counter, sat down on the stool beside her, poured himself a measure of wine and drank it. 

Ram watched the shadow play across the ceiling.

"Even someone as desperate as you," she said eventually, "has better options than drinking at this hour."

Subaru gave her a look of pure bewildered offense. 

"Okay, first of all—when did you become the Sin Archbishop of Hypocrisy?" He poured himself a second measure. "And second of all, I'm not drinking for myself." He turned the glass by its stem, not quite looking at her. "Back where I'm from, they have a saying. Misery loves company."

"Then take your misery elsewhere," Ram said flatly. "Go and weep into Beatrice's shoulder. I'm sure the great spirit would be overjoyed to spend time comforting a pervert like you."

Subaru made a face at that, and then the expression settled, and he met her eyes. 

"I know you'd rather eat your own dress than tell anyone what's actually eating you." The joking quality had gone out of his voice entirely. "I'm not asking you to, nor am I expecting you to. I'm just letting you know that I'm here, and I'm not planning to leave."

"If you have concern to spare," Ram said, sharper than she'd intended, "spend it on Rem."

"I already went and saw her before going to bed. Before I came down here," he said with a kind and much sadder smile than he intended to show. "She'd give me an earful if she heard I'd walked past her Nee-sama sitting alone like this and didn't even stop to help." 

He looked at Ram steadily. "You are precious to me, Ram. I know that's not what you want to hear from me specifically, but it is what it is."

Ram looked at him for a moment. Then sharply looked away.

"Pervert. Womanizer. Go throw yourself off a cliff."

"I only do that when it's the only way to save the people I care about." Subaru said, with no change in his expression.

The words landed differently than she'd expected. Instead of rebutting her with a foolish joke like he usually did, his words had no dramatic weight behind them. He just said it plainly, then took a sip of wine and did not look at her as though he expected her to respond.

"Idiot," she said quietly.

He didn't argue. 

For a while neither of them spoke. The mana lamp kept emitting low light. Ram poured another glass, thought for a second, and did the same with Subaru's empty glass. She drank half of it as thoughts about Roswaal's voice invaded her mind.

She would have given almost anything to hear tonight's words come from the right person. From the man she had spent ten years building herself around, who had looked at her with honest eyes and told her she was something like a daughter to him. That she should find someone with room enough to love her back.

Instead she was sitting in a cold kitchen, in the middle of the night, listening to Natsuki Subaru tell her she wasn't alone in between the two of them finishing off her wine. The universe, Ram thought, had a remarkably poor sense of occasion.

Then Subaru spoke again, quieter than before.

"Even if you don't want me nearby, I'm not going to disappear on you, Ram." He wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the middle distance somewhere past the counter, his forearms resting against the wood. "I know I can't fix whatever's wrong tonight. I probably can't fix it at all. But the fact that you haven't thrown me out of your kitchen yet, the fact that I'm sitting here—that tells me I’m not sitting here in vain. That's actually enough for me." 

He turned his glass slowly. "Whatever it takes. For as long as it takes. I'll keep showing up and being here… for you."

Roswaal had told her she deserved someone with room in their heart for her. But all she got was Barusu, who was sitting in a dimly lit kitchen with a girl who called him an idiot and refused to walk away. Because the alternative was letting her sit alone.

“What has Ram degraded herself to? Drinking with Barusu," she suddenly said with a hint of her signature smug smile.

“What have I degraded myself to? Drinking," he shot back with a warm smile, feeling that things were going in the right direction. 

“Life really knows a thing or two about irony. The cruel kind.” Ram set down her glass. “Ram has spent much more time here than she anticipated. Now she’ll have a hard time getting up in the morning. It’s all Barusu’s fault.” 

“So, in the end, my usefulness was summed up as a scapegoat?" He asked with a raised brow.

“One has to work with whatever they have, if it’s just Barusu. Being able to put even you to use—that’s what makes Ram so incredible!” She stated confidently, and once again Subaru was feeling the familiar bite in her words that he wanted to return.

Her old attitude was surely hard to swallow, but it was much better than the quiet, solemn, and lifeless one she demonstrated not long ago. Subaru stood up and went to a sink to wash his glass.

“Well, since I’m at fault, it falls upon me to rectify the damage, right? Fine then. I’ll start first thing in the morning; and to do that, I need to get at least some shut-eye. So, if you excuse me, Nee-sama, I’ll go to my bed and give Beako a tight hug to fall asleep faster."

"Pervert" was the only answer he received.

“Said pot to a kettle!” he shot back with frustration. “Only you can look at Beako and think of something perverted, honestly…”

"Yeah, yeah. Get out of my kitchen, Barusu," she said, waving him off with her glass.

Ram sat in the kitchen for a little while longer. Just until the warmth in her stomach calmed down.

***

“Rise and shine, Nee-sama. Rise and shine.”

It was the sound of her own name that woke her—spoken cheerfully and from an unacceptable distance almost at her ear.

Ram surfaced slowly from the dark of a dream and blinked at the ceiling. She was in her room. It was morning already—that much she could tell because someone utterly shameless had pried open the curtains, letting the treacherous sun rays assault the gentle eyes of a goddess.

Yet the most unusual detail was the invasive smell of hot coff. Ram turned her eyes toward the source of this alluring smell.

Subaru stood beside her bed with a metal tray, dressed and upright and apparently functional despite the fact that he'd had no more sleep than she had. His hair was still doing something inadvisable, though. On the tray sat a cup of black coff, still sending up a thin, steady thread of steam.

"Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of the rest… Okay, this is so far from the truth I cannot pretend any longer," he said with a wide grin, apparently quite happy with his joke. "Anyway, say hello to a new morning."

“Looks like you’ve decided to fully embrace your lecherous side since you began harassing innocent maidens first thing in the morning. How utterly predictable yet nonetheless disappointing, Barusu.”

“Ah, here’s my favorite Nee-sama again! Glad to have you back!” he said cheerfully, placing the tray on her nightstand.

“Thanks. Now if you are finally done ogling Ram’s beautiful body, kindly get out and let her dress herself.”

“Sure, sure. Go at your own pace, Nee-sama. I’ll be waiting for you outside.”

“Ram distinctly remembers telling you that she has a day off.”

“I thought you were simply joking!”

“Ram never jokes about work. Also, she remembers Baruru saying that he’ll do whatever it takes for her sake?”

“Ye-e-es?” Subaru asked, weary, already guessing where this conversation will turn.

“Then prove your words and do all Ram’s chores for today. Hm…and for the next day as well, since you were so eager last night.”

“You…! You!” 

“Barusu also swore that he’ll pay for last night’s transgressions against the fair maiden that is Ram.”

“Why do you make it sound so scandalous as if I did something inappropriate!”

“You’ve been harassing a helpless tipsy girl with your pathetic pick up lines about caring and being there for her.”

“I said those things from the bottom of my heart, mind you!”

“Ram also speaks sincerely, so we are even here. Now go, Barusu, you have a lot of work today.”

When the disgruntled young man left the room, Ram looked at the coff on the nightstand. She sat up and reached for the cup.

“Barusu is as bad with making coff as he is with most other things. Unsurprising.” She grumbled quietly while sipping the not-so-hot beverage. “Damn him for giving Ram more work by forcing her to teach him how to make proper coff before tomorrow.”

For some reason, she was sure that tomorrow he’ll be the first thing she sees again. He’ll be standing near her bed with a cup of hot coff and shamelessly disturbing her sweet sleep.  

What she stubbornly refused to ponder on was the thought of whether it was something she knew would happen or what she actually wanted to happen again.

“It’s well past time to wake up, Nee-sama!”

That was the only warning Ram received before her bedroom curtains were mercilessly parted to allow the room to be flooded with morning light. The sun’s invasion brought a soft gasp/groan from the pinkette’s lips. To ward off the start of yet another day, Ram threw the blankets over her head. 

Stupid Barusu, Ram thought groggily. How dare that buffoon barge into her room yet again. It wasn’t enough his idiotic face haunted her dreams last night, now he was insisting on being the first thing she saw upon waking?

The impurity of such a thought was enough to make her stomach flutter and she had yet to open her eyes. The nerve of this man.

“Pervert,” Ram grumbled sleepily behind her shield of wool and cotton. “Must you be insufferable every waking moment?”

“E-Excuse me?”

Ram frowned. Barusu’s lack of masculinity aside, his voice wasn’t that high pitched last Ram heard it. Seeing as how she was being roused awake, she dismissed this as a nightmare in which Barusu magically switched genders and decided to investigate. 

Popping the top of her head out from under the sanctity of her warm, cozy bed, Ram irritably peeked to see who was intruding upon her beauty sleep. 

“Good morning, Nee-sama!” Petra Leyte chirped from beside the window, hands clasped in front of her apron as she tried her best to smile after the initial rudeness from Ram. “It’s time to start the day! We’re going to be understaffed today, so up, up!”

Understaffed? What was she talking about?

Unimpressed, Ram closed her eyes and tried to slip back under the covers while ignoring Petra’s complaints. At least when Barusu woke her, he knew to bring along a hot mug of coff to coax her out. Since Petra overlooked the offering of magical bean water to the resident Oni God, she’d just have to wait five more minutes. Or ten. 

Then Ram realized that she just wished it had been that mongrel who had awakened her, of all people. Now she was heavily considering staying in bed sick today for that was the only explanation for such a thought. It had to be the onset of something contagious. 

It took a long while before Ram was ready to begin her day. Petra left to give Ram privacy while she changed. Instead of a useful morning beverage, Petra left a glass of water on Ram’s nightstand. Which was just great.

Without coff and a late start, Ram felt sluggish and temperamental. Damn that Barusu for forgoing the near daily ritual they had begun to establish since-

Ram stopped herself. This was getting to be a problem. Ever since Barusu declared that he would never abandon her, that midnight conversation played over and over in her head. It was even the subject of last night’s dre- erm, nightmare.

While Ram could admit it was sweet, it was just Barusu being, well, Barusu. He was a good friend and a somewhat not-too-poor manservant, but that was all. That conversation shouldn’t have meant anything to Ram. 

Yet it was haunting her dre- ahem, nightmares!

Ram seriously wanted to slap him now. She went about her work, starting with the laundry and ensuring Lord Roswaal had a fresh outfit to change into after his bath. It was Frederica’s job to wake him this morning, and with Ram having slept in, she arrived to discover Roswaal was already bathing. She gathered the clothes and placed them where they were easily discovered then left without a word to her master. 

It felt unusually tiring today, but that was probably because she always had that oaf around to do his fair share. That’s what she told herself, anyway. If he refused to help her dress Master Roswaal, then the least he could do is scrub the Margrave’s underwear.

“Lazy Barusu. As if his underwear is preferable for a delicate maiden to handle.”

Her muscles ached and her mind was taking a while to get up to speed today without her morning coff. She must not have slept well, given that Barusu yammered in her brain all night. In fact, she could still hear him now. 

"Whatever it takes. For as long as it takes. I'll keep showing up and being here… for you."

Right.

What she wouldn’t do for a morning kick, damn that Barusu-

Oh, wait. Ram frowned as she carefully hung a load of laundry she doesn’t remember cleaning on the clothes lines outside. It wasn’t Barusu who woke her up today. Even so, she felt it only just to hold him accountable for it. 

While the laundry dried in the morning sun, Ram decided it was time to rest her weary arms and make her way to the dining room. It was about breakfast time and it was Ram’s turn to set the table, thank Od. Petra and Frederica were no doubt making their way to the kitchen, if they weren’t there already. 

“Come along, Barusu, pick yourself up and-” Ram stopped when she looked over her shoulder and saw no one there.

Barusu wasn’t here. He never had been. 

Had she been imagining his voice this entire time?

If he wasn’t with her, then where was that lazy butler?

Boom!

“Ahahaha!” Someone gloated in the distance to Ram’s left, followed by a very unmanly scream and a plume of dust rising into the air. 

Ram wanted to grind her teeth. He better not be training with Garfiel when he’s supposed to be helping her. Not to mention, if those idiots dirty the laundry and undo all her hard work, she was going to make them suffer!

His honorary knighthood had probably gone to his head, just like she knew it would. 

She stomped over to investigate.

Indeed there were two idiots, but neither were Barusu. It was just Garfiel and Otto. Somehow the former must have convinced the latter to join him on Barusu’s obstacle course. How that happened, Ram hadn’t the foggiest idea. 

At this moment, Garfiel was giving Otto ‘positive’ reinforcement as the tiger boy apparently completed the course in a blaze of glory while Otto was still struggling to climb the vertical wall portion. While Ram found Otto’s struggles amusing, the need for coff drew her away from the scene with a quandary. 

Where was Barusu?

She couldn’t help but feel a bit… lonely. 

Ram gently shook her head to dispel the thoughts. That pretty much proved it- she needed a pick-me-up. Her tired mind was developing a psychosis if she missed Barusu of all people. As she made her way to the kitchen, her mind kept drifting back to the scary eyed butler turned knight. She didn’t understand where he was, though no doubt he was shirking his responsibilities. 

It didn’t take long to set the table. She retrieved the place settings, glasses and silverware included, and put them on a cart that she wheeled into the dining room. After that, she took the cart to the kitchen to see if Frederica required Ram’s expertise. 

She found the beast maid and Petra finishing up breakfast just in time for final plating.

“Hello, Miss Ram.” Frederica greeted her with a sharp toothed smile. “Are you enjoying your day without Subaru?”

Ram frowned yet again as she hurried to get a kettle on for her coff. That sounded an awful lot like teasing. How dare she!

“While Ram appreciates not being the victim of Barusu’s lecherous fantasies, she also pities the poor soul he is no doubt corrupting with his eyes as we speak.” Ram couldn’t help but tack on the question, “Where exactly is Barusu?”

“I believe he is accompanying Lady Emilia and Lady Beatrice into Costuul today.” 

That was today? She had forgotten he mentioned something about that a few days ago. Ram felt as though she should have guessed, given his absence. Barusu was certainly enjoying himself then, the pervert. No doubt it was one of those ‘dates’ he and Lady Emilia went on now and then.

The grumpy Oni God rolled her tired eyes as she retrieved a mug to hold the holy beverage. Typical boy. He’s been barking up that tree for as long as she’s known him, but nothing ever changed between them. At least as far as Ram was aware.

They would hold hands, have picnics together, go on long walks, and talk- always they would talk. Then Barusu would give Emilia that adorable, dopey smile and she’d shyly smile back and-

Crack!

The mug in Ram’s hands cracked under the strength in her fingers.

Something unpleasant settled in the pit of Ram’s stomach as she looked down at the damaged cup, the crack it bore feeling like an accusation. 

She hadn’t realized she’d been gripping it that strongly. 

“Everything alright?”

Ram looked over her shoulder to see Frederica watching her with concern. The blonde woman must have easily heard that. Rather than admit what just happened, Ram set the cup aside and did the only thing she could. 

She blamed it on the dog.

“Barusu must have damaged the cup without telling anyone.” Ram went to retrieve a different one, doing her best to blame the mansion’s lone butler. 

Frederica hummed, not seeming to buy the deflection. 

Ram brewed her coff and risked scalding her delicate mouth to get the black liquid down in several quick gulps. There would be more time later for another mug, if she needed it. It was time to get breakfast out. 

Only Ram realized that she had set out three extra place settings. She quickly rectified her oversight before Master Roswaal arrived. Such a mistake wouldn’t reflect well upon the staff of House Mathers. 

During breakfast, Ram took her place behind Roswaal’s right shoulder. Otto and Garfiel were the only ones present today, so the conversation naturally belonged to those two nincompoops while Roswaal ate mostly in silence. Apparently the Court Mage didn’t feel like interjecting while the boys playfully argued.

Throughout it all, Ram couldn’t take her eyes off Roswaal. 

If he felt her stare, he didn’t acknowledge it. There was no malice in her eyes, but no warmth either. The only thing that could be felt was the sting in her heart. 

Ever since his rejection, Ram felt odd whenever Roswaal was around. It hurt to see him act as if nothing happened that night, as if it was forgotten completely. She had no doubt he remembered, which made it hurt all the more.

It was such a simple thing, easily dismissed. She had waited this long for him to see her as something worthy of him, what was a little longer? Ram just thought it would…

What did she think? That it would happen with time? That all it would take was effort, a thought, or a prayer? That’d he just would come into his feelings one day after she risked her life just to confess to him?

Perhaps there was still hope for that.

Yet part of her didn’t believe so.

Roswaal didn’t see her in that way. He made that clear. Was she willing to keep pursuing him even as hope slipped away?

Barusu does it all the time, so why couldn’t she?

After breakfast concluded and the maids cleaned up, Ram couldn’t help but think about that insufferable fellow romantic. They had that in common, it seemed, which made Ram sad for him. At least he seemed to be making progress, unlike her. Maybe one day he’d actually succeed.

Her stomach knotted up again.

Why did that upset her even more?

If that oaf managed to enter into a romance with Emilia while Ram was forever ignored, then the universe had a bad sense of humor. 

Ram felt a headache coming on. Maybe she needed another cup of coff. For some reason she was struggling to find the energy to do things today. It was odd because she never felt this way with just one mug with Barusu, but today it seemed she needed more. It was still early so maybe she had time to brew one more.

As she took the time to put the kettle back on, Frederica came back into the kitchen. The blonde woman was checking ingredients in the pantry. Ram watched her as the still hot water didn’t take long to boil. As Ram poured soft circles over the grounds that sat in the filtered stand over her mug, she couldn’t help but find it odd. Frederica was always on top of keeping the kitchen stocked so there shouldn’t be anything missing. Plus, she seemed to be only checking certain items and smiling with anticipation. 

The items in question clued Ram in on Frederica’s intentions. 

“Planning to bake sweets today?” Ram asked, not really caring either way. The only thing on her mind right now was getting that coff.

That is, until she heard Frederica’s reply. 

“Yes, Subaru and I are going to try some new recipes later this evening.”

“... Is that so?”

It was no secret Barusu and Frederica sometimes enjoyed baking from time to time. Usually it was for Lady Beatrice, and almost always the two of them would confiscate the first batch for ‘quality control’. It was their way of connecting in an attempt at friendship. 

So why doesn’t Barusu ever do an activity like that with Ram?

What an ungrateful man. Here Ram graced him with her magnificence every day, taught him the virtues of hard, honest work, and yet he never asked her to do activities with him outside of their employment. It wasn’t for lack of trying on her part, she offered to let him rub her feet which he generally refused. Likewise, Ram refused to count the times they shared a cup of afternoon tea as an activity. 

So much for ‘never abandoning her’, the jerk. What if Ram wanted to-?

Wait. Wait a second. 

Ram’s cheeks involuntarily warmed and she nearly dropped the mug as it neared her lips. Was she seriously thinking about spending time with Barusu? This proves it, she’s been infected with something debilitating. 

It had to be his fault. 

“What is his fault?”

Ram nearly gasped, but instead froze in place. Had she said that out loud?! What is happening to her?!

Meanwhile Frederica was watching Ram with curious eyes, their green shining with sisterly kindness. 

“It’s nothing. Please forget what Ram said,” the pink maid stated rigidly in an effort to keep her voice steady.

Before Frederica could question her further, Ram left the kitchen in a hurry, her steaming coff forgotten on the counter.

As the day continued, Ram felt her body dragging, her muscles aching, and her mood sour. She couldn’t understand what was wrong with her today, only that it had to do with Barusu. It didn’t make sense, but she had to figure out what was going on. 

It was essential to cure whatever bug he infected her with. So as she continued to work, she wracked her brain for an answer.

She began by analyzing what she was feeling. Barusu skipping out on work to go on a date with Emilia bothered her, whether this was given prior approval by Roswaal or not. She was unhappy that it hadn’t been him to wake her with the first mug of coff, which she was still needing another of! Then there was the matter of wanting to do an activity with Barusu, like what he and Frederica had. 

She already identified that last motivation as jealousy, but did that fit with the others? Yes and no. The lack of morning coff was just a failure on his part, but was it really too much to expect to see his dopey face when she woke up?

Ram felt her heart rate quicken and her cheeks warm again. The pink maid was currently outside trimming the ornamental hedges, so she quickly tried to blame the physical exertion. She lowered her trimmers to place a single hand over her chest, all too aware of the lie she just tried to tell herself. 

She thought of all the times Barusu would wake her with his usual enthusiasm and how he’d smile like a fool when she glared daggers at him. All the times they had tea together for the past few months had been oddly refreshing, if not amusing. He always tried to make her laugh to little success, usually only earning a small smile. Still, to him that small smile was a victory he was proud of. 

All things that Roswaal didn’t give the time of day. 

Why did those stupid, platonic interactions make Ram happy? It would mean more to her if Roswaal did even half of those things, not that he would. Roswaal was a genius, wealthy, and superior in every way to Barusu. He was certainly handsome compared to the scary-eyed man and far more powerful. Her master stood above them all and had everything that should make her insides melt- had made her insides melt.

Only now… they didn’t. 

Has Roswaal changed? No, certainly not. The only thing that changed was-

Oh.

Oh no…

Ram felt her knees tremble as she thought of Barusu’s promises to her. 

He’s not a noble, yet he cares in ways that seem fairytale. It’s why he promised not to abandon her and to bring Rem back. 

Barusu wasn’t a mage or even a half-decent knight, yet he practically moved heaven and earth when they needed him. 

He helped orchestrate the defeat of Sloth, the White Whale, the Great Rabbit, and even the Bowel Hunter. 

Because of his will and heart, he saved Rem and contracted the Great Spirit of Yin. 

He saved the village children and Ram herself from the shaman when he had no reason to do so, and no real power to do it. 

Sure, he had help the entire way: allies and friends, but the common factor among them had been Barusu. It was that idiot who brought about a fate that resulted in the destruction of Roswaal’s Tome of Wisdom. He faced a man who had been orchestrating events for the last four centuries under the will of the Witch of Greed and won.

He accomplished all of this in less than a year.

No power or Divine Protection, no wealth or influence, nothing but pure luck and inner strength.

While impressive and admittedly far more than what most could ever claim to achieve, Barusu had also remained himself. He gained a bit of confidence, though he hid it under his boisterous air. Barusu was as weak as they came.

Unlike Roswaal.

Her paramour was driven by a four hundred year old desire to resurrect Echidna, the Witch of Greed and his beloved Teacher. He’s done terrible things to that end, including murdering his descendants and manipulating events. People were just pawns to be manipulated, chess pieces in the game of fate. 

People like Rem, like Barusu, and like Ram.

As a girl she hated that man, she blamed him for letting her village be slaughtered. Over time she came to love him and fantasized that her love would set him free. That is, until he broke her heart. 

Roswaal didn’t inspire feelings of love in her anymore. That frustrated her for not just anyone was worthy of Ram. She knew what she wanted. 

Didn’t she?

As she pursed her lips, she feared this was no longer the case. 

She needed to test her theory, to settle this once and for all. 

As if through divine intervention, a test came. 

“Oooh, Subaru!” A familiar voice giggled excitedly in the distance. “You picked these flowers for me? How sweet!”

Ram stiffened. That voice was coming from the courtyard, just around the corner from where she now stood. If she peeked, she’d probably be able to see them. 

The now familiar pang of jealousy flared inside the Oni God as she clenched her fist. Has Barusu returned already? With flowers?!

“Mongrel.” Ram hissed under her breath, eye twitching. She made her way to the corner of the mansion and peeked through the gap of some freshly manicured hedges and the stonework. Then readjusted because she couldn’t see past branches that must have grown up after Ram just pruned them. 

What she could see confirmed her suspicions. 

Near the flowerbeds with a watering can in hand was Petra. The younger maid appeared to be alone and merely acting out a fantasy while she worked. She shyly hid her face behind the watering can and pivoted from one foot to the other as if swooning before a prince. Then she leaned down and caressed the petals of one of the flowers she was watering to delicately sniff it. 

Clearly a lovestruck girl imagining a romance between herself and that two-timing pig. Barusu may be the subject of Petra’s fantasies, but he was not present. Thankfully. 

If he had been, Ram would have-

-nearly dropped dead as the horrifying realization dawned upon her. 

Oh no…

The pink maid wanted to scream. When did this happen? Why did this happen? Did that even matter?

The divine comedy of her life continued. 

“Oh, but Subaru, what would Lady Emilia and Nee-sama think?” Petra gushed, a hand resting on her burning cheek. “Perhaps Emilia, but Nee-sama will not stand aside in a fight for your heart!”

Ram blanked out, the hedge trimmers falling from her grasp as her brain misfired. The blades sank into the ground and barely missed her toes. 

Petra considered her a rival?! When had Ram even entered the running?

Heart pounding, Ram continued to shamelessly eavesdrop in hopes of learning the answer. 

“Hehe!” Petra giggled as she continued to perform her own personal harlequin romance. The red haired maid spun with the watering pail at waist level, the water spraying in a lazy arc around her. The water landed on both the flowers and the cobblestone walkway, utterly forgotten. She hugged herself with her eyes closed, still blushing furiously. 

It made Ram sick. 

“Surely you’ve seen the way she’s looked at you recently! You two have been spending so much time together, I thought maybe you two- Oh!” Petra gasped in mock surprise, still enthralled with her own mind. “You mean it was all to watch me from afar? Oh my, Subaru, you scoundrel!”

Gag me, Ram thought bitterly as her blood began to boil. Petra was much too young for Barusu. All jokes and the unsavory implications aside, Barusu was not a ‘little girl user’. This questionable fantasy had gone on long enough. 

Ram didn’t bother to give Petra any warning before she approached the delusional girl. She was so deep in her little narrative that she didn’t hear her footsteps. 

“Petra.” Ram said oh so calmly.

It had a better effect than she expected. 

“Eeep!” Petra screamed as she was yanked from her daydream. She spun around to face the glaring pink oni, inadvertently spraying water across Ram’s apron. 

Ram exhaled through her nostrils in frustration, placing her hands on her hips as she opened her mouth to scold the girl. 

Only Ram hadn’t said anything before Petra began backing away, bowing her head, and shaking like a leaf in a summer storm. 

“I’m so sorry, Nee-sama! I’m sorry! Please, don’t glare at me like that, it’s scary!” She pleaded tearfully. 

Ram had to stop herself from looking for the nearest reflective surface. Was there something different about the way she looked? Certainly there was something different about how she felt, but Petra was acting like Ram wanted to murder her. 

Well, she kind of wanted to, but still.

As Ram gave Petra a scathing tongue lashing, her mind was reeling from the things she discovered about herself today. She still couldn’t accept it though, not yet. There was one more test. 

***

She bided her time until Barusu returned from his- terrible- date with Lady Emilia, working yet keeping an eye and ear open. When the dark-haired young man arrived with the half-elf Candidate and Great Spirit in tow, all three of them appeared in good spirits as they laughed and discussed their date.

“Oh, that was so much fun, Subaru! Thank you for asking me to go with you.” Emilia said happily, smiling beautifully as always. 

“Hah! Betty’s Subaru is always fun, girl.” Beatrice said, raising her nose in the air as if being associated with him was a sign of noble rank. 

“I still can’t believe the looks on those shopkeepers' faces when we told them why we wanted these!” Barusu laughed boyishly and held a paper sack of a strange assortment of fruits to his chest, no doubt meant for he and Frederica’s use later. In his right hand he also held a single red flower, carefully wrapped in paper to keep it from being damaged. 

Just like in Petra’s fantasy. 

Ram didn’t like the way that made her feel. 

As they walked in, Ram was standing- dusting!- an ornate vase in the hallway just off from the main entrance. She felt exceptionally silly for acting so underhanded, but there was no way she was going to put her pride on the line like this. No, that was left for people with less of it to lose. 

Like Barusu. 

Soon enough, Garfiel and Otto arrived, apparently drawn by their friend’s return. They all chattered just inside the mansion for a minute or two, acting strangely hush-hush. Just as Ram thought she would have to inch closer to catch what they were discussing, Ram’s new least favorite coworker arrived. 

“Subaru! Lady Emilia! Lady Beatrice! How was your trip to Costuul?” Petra greeted the knight happily as she hurried over with an excited smile. Her eyes lip up when they saw the bundled up flower, her cheeks flushing with liquid heat. “Oh, what a pretty flower! W-Who’s it for?!”

It was as obvious as the ribbon in her hair that Petra hoped it was for her, the little-

“Oh, it’s for Nee-sama.” Barusu replied, scratching his cheek in embarrassment. 

Ram felt everything screech to a calamitous halt: the world, her thoughts, Petra’s hopes and dreams.

Barusu seemed oblivious to Petra’s internal death as he carefully adjusted the weight of his cargo to better hold the flower up for all to see. Garfiel of course eyed it suspiciously, huffing after saying something along the lines of ‘it being too girly for Ram’. Honestly, Ram didn’t even register his words enough to be offended. 

She tried to continue with her task as if she didn’t just hear what Barusu said, using a warrior’s meditation to keep from blushing. No weakness was to be shown. Ever. 

Not until her heart stopped beating so quickly. 

“Oh, hey, Nee-sama!” Barusu called out to her as he shoved the heavy bag of groceries into Otto’s reluctant arms. 

Damn you, Barusu!

Ram kept her expression schooled and stoic, throwing in just a bit of aloofness to make it seem like she not only didn’t hear what he said, but that she also didn’t care about his return. The pink maid turned to face him and kept her eyes upon his face, not on the flower he held low near his stomach. It didn’t help that his own cheeks were burning and the stupid boy was fidgeting uncomfortably. 

Though it was pretty cute. 

For once, Ram was comfortable with that description being placed upon his empty head. 

Barusu rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and lifted the flower in offering. 

“I, uh, picked you this flower while we were out today. It matches your eyes and I figured- erm, I mean, I felt bad that I wasn’t there to help you today.” Barusu was struggling to explain himself, his words tumbling out quickly as his eyes darted around as if searching for structure. Finally, he seemed to give up and sigh. The butler made eye contact with her and said with a serious expression that looked surprisingly good on him, “I didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten about you.” 

Ram didn’t show it, but that right there made her legs weak. 

“Hmph!” She huffed, crossing her arms while holding the feather duster. “No doubt Barusu picked this in the courtyard flower beds and is now passing it off as something special. How shameful.”

“I did not!” Barusu complained, offering the flower again. “Look, do you want the flower or not?”

“Oh, very well.” Ram snatched the plant from his grasp with her free hand, muttering, “If only to keep it away from Petra…”

“Huh? Did you say something?” He hadn’t heard her. 

“Ram said, ‘if only to keep the poor thing alive’. Barusu should learn to listen instead of making ill-fated advances on innocent maidens.”

“Eh?!” Barusu dramatically reacted as if struck. “I did no such thing, my honor is unquestionable! You’re the tsundere always insinuating the worst about me!”

“Only a fool would drop their guard around a Barusu.”

“If anyone drops anything, you might want to look up, shorty.”

“Oaf.” Ram shot back as she turned, flower in hand, and made her way down the hallway at a casual pace. 

“Laaazyyy!” Barusu called after her, cupping his hands around his mouth to ensure she heard him. 

A few minutes later, Ram was safely locked away in her room. She brought the red petalled gift to her delicate nose and inhaled its soft, floral scent. It was beautiful, but now she had to decide what to do with it. 

In a sense of poetic justice that brought a smile to her face, Ram placed the flower in the glass of water Petra had left on her nightstand this morning. 

That was the day Ram discovered the impossible had happened: she had indeed fallen for a moron.

This is what Ram gets for being a fool who lowered her guard around a Barusu.

Heat cascaded around the street as people sweated. No matter what, even on a hot day, the market was packed. Lunch hours ended a few hours prior, so as the day edged toward dusk, Ram found more people were choosing to visit now. She knew from experience that if they waited any longer, she’d be suffocated in the crowd of the market. 

The breeze would be cold, but the commodities would be hot. Haggling for a good rate would be quite impossible. And as such—

“Ten silver coins for the stuff, that final?” Barusu knelt, holding two filled grocery bags, as he spoke to the seller. 

The old vegetable seller nodded and accepted the coins from Barusu’s hand as she counted them one after another. Once the transaction was completed, Barusu’s feet skipped to the shade where Ram was waiting. 

Something about his smile got Ram’s heart pumping. She was glad she managed to bring him along. Even better was how excited he even seemed to go with her.

The two have been spending more time in the manor together as of late. Their morning coff consumption remained firm, but this was the first time Ram got a chance to be alone with Barusu outside of work. It was nice that he was not with Emilia-sama today, even if their trip was purely for the purpose of grocery shopping.

She couldn’t help but want him to herself today.

“Barusu, even a child knows not to pay ten silver coins for the amount of vegetables you’ve purchased. Your haggling skills may very well be worse than Emilia-sama’s.” Her eyes rolled with fond exasperation. 

“EHHHHHHHH!?” Subaru took a step back and shook his head vigorously. He presented the bags as if they were the spoils of war. “Look at this, Nee-sama. I couldn’t possibly take this for any less! Especially in this heat! They gotta make a living, too.”

Ram’s eyes flickered up to his glistening forehead. He may be active, but the moist sweat lingered. The Oni took out her handkerchief from her pocket and raised her hand. 

“Stand still, Barusu.” 

“Wha—” 

Before Barusu could question what was transpiring, Ram gripped the back of his head. He froze like a kitten held by the scruff. She then used her handkerchief to wipe the sweat off his forehead. 

“Barusu, if you were to collapse due to the heat, you’d be nothing but a nuisance to Ram.” She said, just managing to keep her voice steady but only just.

Then the kerchief was lowered and she wiped the sweat from his cheeks. She took a good look at his face. Briefly, their eyes connected. Ram liked that she was the only person reflected in his dark eyes. 

She wished she saw it more often-

No. Ram couldn’t take it further. 

Her composure lasted only for a few seconds before she had to turn her head away and stare to the side, where a vendor was arguing with a random customer about the price of an appa. 

“You aren’t immune to the heat, idiot Barusu,” Ram said, still not making eye contact. She moved to tuck her handkerchief into her pocket, thought better of it, and then shoved it against his chest while letting go of his head.  

“N-Nee-sama!” Barusu’s voice broke as he tried to string together words, catching the cloth out of reflex. Face ablaze, he muttered, “Thanks, I guess.” 

Ram turned to face him as he scratched the back of his head. He was avoiding eye contact, too. She mentally scolded herself for being too bold, but couldn’t regret her actions. 

“Hmph! Now you owe Ram a new handkerchief. Your nasty sweat has soiled it and now it cannot be handled by mortal hands.”

“Eh?! It’s not my fault! It’s hot today!” He pointed at her with the hand that held the handkerchief. “Don’t pretend like you’re immune, Nee-sama. Besides, I was the one doing the shopping!”

“Ram is smart enough to stay in the shade, Barusu; it was your idiocy that you haggled in the open, instead of in a shop or under a tent.”

“Well, this lady gives a lot for little. I’ve heard the people around us speak; the guys in the tent, they overcharge.” He explained to defend his intelligence.

Ram was impressed if this was true. It meant that Barusu was learning; but then again, what he paid didn’t match his reasoning. Perhaps she needed to spend more time teaching him the value of a coin. 

In private-

Stop!

Thankfully, Barusu seemed oblivious to her internal plight as he continued to drone on about vegetables. 

“- I got a lot of veggies this time, especially a lot of tatoes! I was hoping to make a tatoe salad for dinner, though I’d need your help for that.” 

Skip. 

It was probably the sun, but Ram’s face had reddened with it. Sure, it was a chore, but Barusu had asked her for help. There was nothing wrong with showing her fool some generosity. 

Besides, maybe this could be the start of their shared activities? Ram was blessed with talents in all things tatoe, so surely that would give her an excuse to find time with Barusu. 

Though he still had to be punished first for making her heart race in this heat. 

“Sheesh, Nee-sama, are you okay? You look like you might collapse any second.” 

Ram blinked because Barusu was closer now. Not only that, but he was looking at her in concern. It made her stomach flutter against her will.

“That’s what the heat does, Barusu. To both of us.” Ram takes a step to put distance between them, even if the urge to close it was strong. She had to do something about this heat or she was going to burn up. 

Thankfully, she knew just the place. 

“Follow along, Barusu. You’re going to buy Ram something.” 

Barusu nodded along as Ram led him to their destination, still concerned. It took him several minutes before what she said sunk in. “Hey, why am I the one buying for you?” 

Rather than answer, Ram moved ahead a little quicker. 

“There.” Ram pointed to a business. 

There were a few tables and chairs laid out, each set under an umbrella. Most were unoccupied, though that is a perk of arriving after the prime luncheon hours. Behind that was a shop, one they had passed earlier without comment. It had been busier then, but Ram had spied what commodity they had been selling. 

Which is why they were here now.

“Ram heard this shop makes great ice shavings. Ram knows Barusu will collapse if he does not have one, so Ram will generously save a seat at one of the tables for Barusu to enjoy the cup of ice shavings, while in return, Barusu will get one cup for Ram as well. A fair deal, all things considered.” 

“Yeah, but I’m the one doing the buying—” 

Ram nudged his shoulder, gently claiming the shopping bags from his hands. She didn’t look at his face when she did so and hoped he would just go along with it rather than complain like usual. Something in his tone changed, because now it was quieter and far less theatrical. 

“Alright, ice shavings sound fun, though, Nee-sama.” Barusu sighed and made his way over, casting a concerned look over his shoulder halfway inside. 

Ram took a seat at a table near the exit door and placed the bags beside her seat. The positioning was so that she could get her shavings quicker. Nothing more. 

But now, for the next few minutes, Ram was alone. Sure, earlier Barusu shopped by himself, but she always had that idiot in her field of vision. Now he’s behind a brick wall. Perhaps closer than before, but Ram wouldn’t know; she couldn’t exactly see inside. 

Ever since Ram had come to realise her own feelings about Barusu, she just wanted to see him more. Dear Od, why must Ram have such a peculiar taste in men? 

Ram was, however, not a desperate lady. Patience was a virtue that should be firm, like ice. However, the heat was getting to her, and in the heat, ice tends to turn into ice shavings, which were not optional. She needed those a lot at present. 

Barusu was likewise not optional. She needed him more as time went on. It was just the two of them, alone in a different city… at a cafe. Where they serve ice shavings. Just the two of them. Man and woman. Alone.

Oh Od. 

No. 

As per Barusu’s rules, this is a date, is it not? Ram pressed her hands to her face. How could she have overlooked that stipulation?

A boy and a girl, spending time together outside. There is romantic interest on her part. By all accounts, even if the man himself hadn’t realised it, this was a date. 

Yes.

Ram internally began to dance and melt through the ground simultaneously, but that soon subsided. Barusu was still inside. She regretted not going inside with Barusu to buy the shavings, it might have been cooler. 

She didn’t even specify a flavour to him, she realized. Though it’s not like she had one in mind. As long as he came out with a cold treat, she’d be fine. 

Soon, the gruelling few minutes came to a close as Barusu walked out with two cups of ice shavings… red in colour. Though a little more pink, once she looked closer. Ram couldn’t help but cast dubious looks at them.

“Barusu, which poor soul had to be murdered to have blood poured onto ice shavings?” 

Barusu places them both on the table. He slid one to Ram, a small spoon intact and sticking out of the perfectly shaped mound of crystalized water. From the look on his face, she could tell he was excited.

When he sat down beside her instead of across from her, Ram got a little excited, too.

Give Ram the ice, now!

“Ram, these are no ordinary ice shavings! This is a new flavour the shop owners have created. Behold, Rose-flavoured ice shavings! Sounds fun, right?” Barusu nudged and grinned, trying to infect her with his joy.

It partially worked, but Ram refused to let his victory show on her face quite yet. She said, “Rose is not a flower that is typically eaten, Barusu.”

“It is when coated in ice shavings,” Barusu took a spoonful and put it in his mouth. Ram was awestruck by his wide eyes and how his smile grew. “Mmmm. This is delicious! Ram, try it.”

Ram was always going to, even if her face hid it well. Though his encouragement helped her out a little bit. She brought the spoon to her mouth and took a quick bite, letting the flavour sit in her mouth. 

She expected it to taste like a flower, and that it does. There’s no doubt about that. Even still, the crisp shavings melted quickly in her mouth, the liquid going down her throat, while leaving behind a nectar-like feeling of the rose. The sweetness lingered, softening her cheeks. It was—

“—Very impressive. Barusu, at least you have one talent Ram can credit you for.” 

“Was that a compliment or an insult?”

“It’s whatever you’d appreciate more.”

“Nee-sama, what kind of man do you take me for?” Barusu took another bite of the ice shavings. 

“A man who’s good at picking out ice shaving flavours.” Ram likewise took in another spoonful, smiling as the cool treat hit the spot.

Barusu was about to retort before his eyes narrowed. “Nee-sama, stay still.” 

Ram was perplexed. Before she could respond with anything, Barusu leaned forward and pressed his thumb to her lips. His other fingers rested on her cheek.

Ram was lucky her spoon was already sheathed in the ice shavings, because she might have dropped it then. 

Barusu’s eyes remained locked onto Ram’s face. He lowered his thumb, tracing the outline of the bottom of her lips. He pushed something out of the way, gently, before his touch left her. 

When he pulled back his thumb, she saw it. 

“There were a few ice shavings left under your chin… consider it repayment for earlier.” 

He brought his thumb close to his face, and then pulled back. 

Ram silently gulped, her attention fully on his lips and not the dark eyes that darted away in embarrassment. 

“…Pervert.” She muttered softly. 

To combat the awkwardness, Ram gently grabbed the spoon and sent down another spoonful of ice shavings down her throat. She was surprised her ice shavings hadn’t melted under his heat. When she noticed Subaru had sat there and stopped eating his ice, she looked at the forsaken treat and wondered why he was no longer partaking. 

He was staring off into space, cheeks the color of rose syrup.

“Barusu, your ice looks like it’s about to melt. What a waste. Eat it quickly.” She placed the spoon in front of her mouth to hide a smile, though the glisten in his eyes told her he did not notice. 

“Alright, Nee-sama.” He groaned, brought back to the now.

Barusu and Ram continued to eat the ice shavings in harmony, continuing an idle conversation. A few minutes passed quickly and the sunlight began to fade, slowly taking the heat away with it. 

They finished snacking on the cool dish and drank a little bit of the liquid that remained in the cup. By the time they were done, a gentler breeze had settled in. Between that and the coming dusk, the oppression of the sun was waning.

“I guess it’s time to leave, yeah?” Barusu remarked, using Ram’s handkerchief to wipe his mouth. He looked to the side, to the market street they were in earlier. The crowd began to gather more densely. Ram used the opportunity to wipe her own mouth with her spare handkerchief quickly, before his eyes turned towards her again.

Ram nodded, though she was a bit disappointed. This was a great day. In a way, it felt like her own birthday to her, given how much she enjoyed herself in his company. Barusu did nothing special, yet Ram had nothing but a smile on her face. 

She turned her body and pushed her butt off the chair. She grabbed the shopping bags as Barusu stood up at that moment, too. He walked around the chair and came to take the bags from her hand. 

“I almost forgot about them.” He offered his hands to her for the bags. 

“And you’ll be carrying them both. How thoughtful of Ram, so that you don’t forget.” She dumped the bags onto his hand, causing him to briefly lose his footing. He recovered smoothly enough. 

They began to go back to the Manor from Costuul. The hours of dark sun were drawing near, and the markets were beginning to get more crowded, so they kept going until the number of people they saw began to reduce. They soon saw more trees than homes, until eventually they were completely in the forest, alone, just the two of them. 

This was not a bad place to be secluded, though Ram preferred to be near a town or a village. That’d mean opportunities to go out with Barusu. Perhaps on another day she’d find an excuse for them to go.

They walked about in silence as the winds blessed their skin, cooling them down. The heat from earlier seemed like a thing of the past. Right now, all that accompanied them were the sounds of their footsteps, the rustling of their shopping bags, and the wind coursing around them. 

As they walked along their path, they went farther and approached an open field. Ram’s feet had frozen near it. Her eyes were captured by the sight. 

Red roses bloomed open under the orange sun that inched closer to the horizon, painting a picture that only the greatest of artists could truly capture. 

Barusu turned around. “What’s wrong, Nee—”

“—This place.” She said, cutting him off as she pointed to the field with a gentle smile. “Ram walked through here dozens of times on her visits to Costuul. She saw these roses many times and did not think of anything special. Yet today—” 

“—They almost seem mystical. No, yeah, I agree. I’ve seen these flowers a lot with Emilia—never thought of stopping by here. Yet I suppose it is something about the light, or the roses, or something…something….” 

He trailed off. She didn’t look at him to see why.

Barusu moved closer to Ram. They were close enough to touch, yet far enough not to. His voice lowered. “I guess even something familiar can be appreciated in a new light.”

Skip.

Ram turned towards him. “Barusu?” Ram looked towards him, but his eyes snapped to the side. 

He didn’t answer, but simply enjoyed the flowers, the sun, and the breeze. The orange light caressed his face and contrasted with his dark attire. His face, too. They appeared brighter, though Ram attributed it to the light. 

She sighed and let out a smile, one she felt he earned. 

“Barusu. Thank you for today.”

He hummed as he looked down at her again, his smile brilliant in the setting sun. “Oh, my, what did I even do?”

Ram scooted closer to him, nearly closing the distance. “You should know what you have done. It isn’t every day you get to be thanked by Ram.”

“That might be true, Nee-sama. Though it wouldn’t hurt to be. I am grateful that I get to live every day. It feels great to be by…” He snapped his mouth shut, awkwardly finishing with, “Erm, everyone.”

Skip.

“Everyone?” Ram asked, hoping he’d change his answer. 

Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.

“Everyone.” He reaffirmed, looking quite nervous and unsure. 

Ram sighed. It seemed she had gotten her hopes up for nothing. Disappointing. 

But maybe it didn’t have to be.

“Perhaps Ram can thank you more.” She said softly. “In exchange, Barusu, would you do something for me?”

Barusu tilted his neck and faced Ram. “And what could that be, Nee-sama?”

“That.” Ram sharply turned her head. “Call Ram… call me by my name. Ram has a beautiful enough name, Barusu.”

Barusu brought his hand up to his chin. “Hmm. I guess you do. I accept, Nee… err, Ram. Huh, that does sound much nicer to say.” 

“Ram expresses her gratitude for your understanding. Perhaps Ram will, every day.”

The two had a brief laugh.

Barusu nudged Ram’s shoulder. “These roses at this time of day are beautiful, but we should get going now. Those tatoe salads aren’t going to make themselves, you know!” 

Ram brushed past him, her touch lingering just a fraction longer than it would have yesterday. 

“Let’s get going, then. We can see the flowers again the next time we’re here.” She said with her back to Barusu, still looking out towards the field.

If she hadn’t been, she wouldn’t have missed the way Barusu’s eyes rested on her in a way he hadn’t been brave enough to admit.

“Yeah, that we can, Ram.” He grinned. “That we can.”

They took one last glance at the beautiful garden of red roses before their feet marched on forward, in sync with one another. 

The morning for Ram had begun with usual pleasures: a cup of hot coff sitting on the nightstand and a sight of the foolish yet very kind and honest face of one Barusu. It has become the usual but still pleasant morning routine. Which made what came next all the more objectionable.

"Morning, Ram. Fair warning—I won't be around to help with the manor stuff today. Beako and I are running an important magical experiment. The one we've been setting up for weeks." He glanced at her, gauging. "We're finally at the stage where we actually try to engrave the teleport spell, so we can't really stop and start, it has to be—"

"Barusu," Ram said with nonchalance.

"Yeah?"

"Ram is not interested in a schedule of your activities. You've already informed her that you’ll be totally useless today. The rest does not affect this fact."

He paused with the tray in his hand. "Right. I just thought—"

Ram noticed how he suddenly looked down. Perhaps she overdid it somewhat with her coldness.

"Enjoy your experiment," she said gently with a small smile and set down the empty cup. "Also, try not to cause any structural damage to yet another mansion. Ram believes in Beatrice-sama but Barusu is also taking part in this."

She had chores to attend to, a junior maid who needed broader educational opportunities, and the general management of a manor that did not run itself. Let this mean-eyed fool run around with his ideas. How long could one experiment take, right? That’s what Ram thought as she was dressing up for a day.

***

By the time the late afternoon light had gone amber and the staff had begun making preliminary sounds about dinner, neither of them had reappeared.

Ram stood at the base of the east corridor stairs and considered this fact for a moment—that neither Subaru nor Beatrice had thought to surface for meals, that the manor had gone about its entire afternoon without a single piece of accidental property damage from the direction of the magical study. So she made a decision. She turned to Petra, who was standing nearby.

"I'll check on the study," Ram said.

"Oh, I can do that, Ram-san—"

"You have the banisters to finish."

Petra blinked. "I finished those before lunch."

"Then find something else to do, because Ram’ll be busy checking on the study," Ram said and walked up the stairs.

Her reasons were entirely professional. It's not like she was getting worried for Subaru or missed him after not seeing him for almost half a day. Not at all.

The east corridor was quiet. The door at the end of it was not—she could hear two voices through it even before she reached the handle. She recognized the rhythm of them without needing to make out the words.

Ram eased the door open without knocking.

The room was a scene for a peculiar magical occurrence. The long central table had been cleared of everything. In the middle of it all hovered a crystal roughly the size of her two fists placed together, deep purple, pulsing with light that moved like a slow heartbeat.

Beatrice stood on a chair pulled up to the table's edge, both arms extended, her small face emptied of everything except concentration. Mana poured from her in a visible shimmer—Beatrice's was always faintly blue at the edges—into the crystal's core. On the opposite side of the table, Subaru sat hunched forward in his chair with his elbows on his knees, watching the crystal with a focused expression.

He saw Ram over the crystal's glow and immediately raised a finger to his lips. She approached without a word and bent her head toward his.

"Key stage?" she asked, barely voiced.

"Key stage," he confirmed, just as quietly. His eyes tracked back to the crystal. "Beako’s has been pouring mana into this slowly for three hours. If we break her concentration now—"

"I understand," Ram said. She straightened up and folded her hands and watched.

For a while they didn't move as Subaru quietly explained the reason for this experiment. The whole wild idea of it, engraving a yin spell into crystal rather than casting it anew each time, compressing weeks of Beatrice's limited mana supply into a single usable tool.

It was, Ram admitted to herself without looking as though she was admitting anything, genuinely clever.

Then suddenly Beatrice's eyes flew open. Her expression, which had been still as carved stone, cracked open into something close to panic—a look Ram had almost never seen on that particular face, which made seeing it now land somewhere unpleasant in her chest.

"It's becoming unstable, in fact!" Beatrice's voice came out sharp and commanding despite the alarm in it. "Get out now! Betty will try to contain it!"

Subaru was already on his feet. Ram's hand caught his arm before he could move past her.

"Barusu." She kept her voice level and her grip firm. "Listen to what she's telling you."

"But Beako—"

"Knows what she's doing," Ram said. "Trust her and listen!"

She saw the war on his face—the pull toward Beatrice, the knowledge that Ram was right, the particular anguish of someone who loves people and finds standing back intolerable. She'd seen it before.

"Okay… Okay."

They moved for the door. Behind them, the crystal's pulse stuttered. The warm purple glow flickered, surged, flickered again, and lashed out with a surge of mana that grazed the spirit girl, making her cry out in pain. Ram was three steps from the door, and Subaru was two. They both heard Beatrice’s voice. Before she knew it, he was turning around. This time she wasn't fast enough.

He bolted back to the table. She went after him, already calling his name, knowing he wasn't going to stop. He reached for Beatrice—and a blink later Subaru was sweeping Beatrice off the chair and, in the same motion, throwing her toward the door.

Ram was still running. She had time to think, 'Idiot! Absolute idiot, I told you—’

Her hand caught his wrist. The crystal detonated.

Purple light swallowed the room.

***

The world was wind and sky.

Ram processed this in the specific order of: wind, then sky, then the ground very far below, then the fact that she was falling. The teleportation had dropped them somewhere she didn't recognize—a forest canopy beneath them, tree crowns rushing upward, a mountain ridge visible on the horizon.

Subaru's hand was still on her wrist. She felt him pull, felt herself turned as he tried to position himself beneath her in the seconds they had left—this ridiculous, infuriating person, even while falling to their doom trying to put himself between her and the impact. She felt a surge of nostalgia.

She twisted, got her wand free from her hip, ran the calculation as fast as she'd ever run one in her life.

The Fula spell left her palm, aimed at the air itself, thickening it and creating an invisible cushion beneath them. Just enough to slow the drop from certain death to something survivable.

They hit the slope sideways. The world became a tumble of earth and sky rapidly trading places, of pain registering in every part of their bodies and it didn’t stop until the unwilling travelers reached the bottom of the gully.

Ram lay still for some time trying to analyze her situation. She was bruised and shaken. Her already low mana was now depleted down to a concerning level. Her wand is still intact and in her hand. 

She pushed herself upright and immediately understood that her right leg had opinions about this. The pain hit clean and sharp. It was not broken, as she immediately assessed dispassionately, but badly sprained. Not that it mattered much right now. Merely walking was going to be a problem.

Subaru appeared above her, dirty and dishevelled, with a scrape along one cheekbone and his eyes very wide. "Ram! Are you—"

"Ram's fine," she said, which was accurate within reasonable tolerances.

"Your leg—"

"Ram’s aware." She pressed a hand to the gully wall and tried to stand. The leg informed her of its continued and emphatic objection. “Rejoice, Barusu. Looks like life decided to give you a chance to prove you have a manly side.”

He was down beside her before she finished saying it, his shoulder under her arm, lifting her to stand with care. She let herself lean on him, only as much as necessary.

She looked around. They landed in the clearing, created by the gully, but in every direction the forest around them looked dense and dark despite the sun still high in the skies.

"I have absolutely no idea where we are," Subaru said, with the resigned voice.

"South," Ram deduced. “Judging by the flora, we are far to the south.” 

She decided to keep the thought that it was entirely possible they'd passed the border with the southern country entirely to herself. If they really were standing in the Vollachian Empire right now, their situation would quickly go considerably beyond simply being lost in a forest.

She closed her eyes and extended her mind inward, concentrating on the feelings only she possessed—synesthesia. The signal came back thin and distant, but it was enough. She felt  Rem despite the distance.

"We're hundreds of miles from the manor." She opened her eyes. "Perhaps more."

“Ah,” Subaru absorbed this without visible collapse, which she gave him credit for. 

“Ram’s also noticed a settlement far away while we were falling. It’s located in the direction of the mountain ridge. We should go that way.”

"Beako's contract should let her find my rough location," he said, with a nod of agreement. "And if I know Beatrice, she's already figured out we got sent somewhere, and she's already working on going after us. We just have to be… well, findable. Which means we need to move north, look for people, and stay somewhere they can locate us when they come looking." He turned and crouched down in front of her. "Get on my back."

She looked at his back for a moment. "This is your training put to use, is it? Carrying luggage through forests?"

"I've been carrying lightweight girls around for months now," he said, entirely straight-faced. "You're barely a challenge."

Something moved in her chest that she identified, with some annoyance, as warmth. She settled onto his back with the dignity the situation allowed, which was moderate. His hands came up behind her knees, and she locked her arms around his shoulders, and he rose without apparent difficulty, adjusted her weight, and started north through the trees.

After a moment she said, to the back of his head. "Lightweight."

"Mm?"

"You called Ram lightweight."

"Well, I’ve carried you before, didn’t I? Since then you haven’t gotten that much bigger, while I've gotten much stronger!"

“Did you just imply Ram's gained weight?”

“Em… just a little?”

"Careful, Barusu. Ram might decide you don't need both ears."

***

The storm came from the southwest a few hours later, and it came fast.

Ram saw the light change as clouds swallowed it, the sky going dark grey, which meant serious weather rather than just passing rain. She warned Subaru and felt Subaru pick up his pace. 

The first drops hit the canopy of leaves and branches twenty minutes later. For a while the trees overhead held most of it, the dense summer growth catching the rain above them, letting only occasional cold drops through. They moved north, and Ram watched the woods while Subaru kept walking and said nothing about the fact that the sound above them was growing from a patter into something heavier and steadier with every passing minute.

Then the canopy gave out.

The rain came through in sheets. Within minutes she felt it soaking through her outer layer, through the fabric beneath, turning everything cold and clinging. Subaru hunched his shoulders instinctively and stubbornly kept moving into the encroaching evening through the rain that already turned into a real storm.

About half an hour later, their situation, as well as the scenery, barely changed, except that somehow they felt even wetter, despite being already drenched.

"There," she said, pointing to a darker shadow against the hillside ahead, a break in the rock face.

Subaru squinted in the direction she pointed to.

"A cave!" Subaru confirmed, already angling toward it. "Good eye, Ram!"

He got them inside and set her down against the wall with careful attention. The rain hammered the rock outside, torrential now, the kind of storm that had no intention of stopping before it was ready. In the cave it was dry, dark, and cold. Ram sat with her back against the stone and took honest stock of their situation for the first time since they'd landed.

“Well, there is good news and bad news. Bad news is that we are completely drenched, far from help, with no fire, dry wood, blankets, or even food. And your foot is hurt so you can barely stand.” Subaru gave his own assessment with a dry voice. “It’s not even night yet and the air already feels cold, despite us being sent to the south. The good news is that we are still alive, and for what it seems, this forest is not teeming with mabeasts since we haven’t met any so far.”

Ram showed little reaction to this, as she came to the same conclusions by herself. Suddenly Subaru sneezed and felt a shiver go through his body.

“Our wet clothes will be the end of us…can you dry it up with your magic?”

The girl slowly shook her head. “Ram'd pass out before she finished your jacket alone.”

Subaru nodded, looking at the cave floor. He was thinking—she recognized that look. She had seen it enough times to know the difference between Subaru at a loss and Subaru being quiet because he hadn't finished yet.

"Okay," he said finally, and straightened up. "Looks like our goal is to survive the night."

He paced to the cave mouth and back once. Then he said, with the tone of someone delivering information that might not be well received: "We need to get out of our clothes."

Ram looked at him with the full weight of her regard.

"I'm aware," he said immediately, raising both hands, "of how that sounds. I'm aware. I want to be absolutely clear that all I think right now is our survival and not—" He stopped, then started again. “Wet clothing in cold temperatures pulls heat away from your body. If you stay in that dress all night, you'll catch hypothermia by midnight. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are, Ram, I am not interested in looking at a lifeless cold—" He stopped again, as though he'd just heard himself. He looked at the cave ceiling briefly. "My point stands. The clothes need to come off. And then I need you to stay here while I go and find something to sit upon."

He was already unbuttoning his jacket.

She watched him with something that might have been called ‘astonishment’ in a lesser person, and which Ram chose to call ‘the reasonable response to an unreasonable situation’. He stripped down completely and, without even turning to her, walked out into the rain without a backward glance.

She sat in the sudden silence with rain hammering the cave mouth, with a pile of his wet clothes on the floor and the fact of what he'd said hanging in the air—no matter how beautiful you are, Ram. He’s spoken it without any weight or calculation, like that was simply a given for him. 

She pressed her hands flat against her own cheeks, unable to say with absolute certainty that the warmth in her face was a temperature response. While he was out, she started to undress. Embarrassing or not, she could almost feel the precious heat leaving her petite frame, and this was not acceptable.

Subaru came back dripping and arms full of enormous leaves—broad, dark green, something like burdock, but larger.

“I noticed them while we were approaching the cave. They should work fine for the night."

He deposited them in a makeshift bedsheet, looked at her, and noticed that Ram was completely naked now. He turned away immediately and picked up his wet shirt to wrap it around his head and block his eyes.

"We’ll sit on the leaves," he said, from inside the makeshift blindfold. "Back-to-back."

"Care to explain how wet leaves are better than dry ground, Barusu?"

"They’ll work as insulation. The ground saps your heat. Leaves don't." He settled himself onto the leaf pile, arms against his sides, chin slightly down. "I watched it on TV years ago."

“What’s a tee-vee?”

“Eh-h-h… I’ll tell you another time, okay?”

Ram looked at the leaves. She looked at him, sitting there in the dark with a shirt tied around his head. She looked at the cave mouth, where the storm had graduated from heavy to extraordinary, where no help was coming tonight and no fire was possible and the stone walls were radiating cold into the air with slow, steady indifference to anyone's plans.

She sat on the leaves and pressed her back against his and felt him register it—the small adjustment he made, settling back against her, and relished the warmth that moved between them almost immediately.

“Barusu, take off your stupid shirt. You look ridiculous as it is, and with the shirt on your face, it’s somehow even worse."

“I did it for you so you won’t be afraid I’ll be peeping at you."

“No need for concern. If you try to take a peek at Ram’s wonderful form, you will experience true bliss… Right before she’ll gouge out your eyes, so don’t worry.”

“You surely know how to be reassuring, Nee-sama!” he tried to joke while the shiver, one that has no connection with cold, went down her spine.

“Ram told you to call her Ram,” she shot back with a hint of offense she did not plan to show. “What she means, Barusu, is that you need not be weary. Ram trusts you.”

“Then I’ll be sure to not betray that trust," he said without turning his head, so she never saw a warm and content smile on his face.

They sat in silence for some time, cherishing the warm feeling in their backs, trying to rub some heat in their bodies with their hands.

“So, what’s next in your great plan?”

"We’ll wait the rain out. Once it stops and our clothes are dry enough, we move north at first light. It’ll take time, so I suggest you get some shut-eye, Ram”

"Looks like you’ve become unreasonably brazen, Barusu," she said with a snide tone. "Ram might be cold, but she did not become so stupid as to close her eyes with the lecherous predator nearby in this state."

"Good to know you're feeling normal," he said, and she heard the relief in his voice.

Perhaps, when it is Barusu guarding her sleep, she really can afford to relax and sleep just a little.

***

The rain outside had stopped being a storm and became something more fundamental—a steady, total erasure of any sound that wasn't water and wind. The cave entrance showed nothing beyond it except darkness shot through with moving curtains of rain, and the darkness inside was so complete that Subaru had stopped being able to see anything beyond the cave's entrance. He sat with his knees pulled in, back against Ram's, and listened to the rain and tried not to fall asleep.

He was not succeeding.

His head had begun the slow, incremental droop when he felt it: a tremor, working through the point of contact between their backs, faint at first and then less faint. He straightened and focused.

Ram was shaking.

Her whole body was shivering and much stronger than she'd had when they first sat down. This was something else. He could feel it in the rhythm of that deep, uncontrolled trembling that ran from her shoulders down. He held still and listened until he could make out her breathing—labored and effortful. And beneath that, steady as a metronome, the faint clatter of her teeth.

He had known she was weak to cold but never understood, until now, how bad it was.

‘She might really hate me for this,’ he thought, while slowly standing up. ‘But the alternative is much worse.’

***

Ram was not going to ask for help.

She had decided this some time ago, in the early part of the night when the cold was merely unpleasant rather than consuming, and she was going to hold to it because it was the correct decision. She had survived worse than a cold. She had survived the loss of her horn, the years after it, the Sanctuary, and she was not going to be undone by a rainstorm in a cave because she was a little cold! She was certainly not going to toss away her pride and tell him how she needed him right now.

She pressed her knees harder against her chest. Clasped her hands tighter beneath them.

The cold had stopped being something she was experiencing and became something she was inside of, like a total, encompassing thing, seeping through every point where her skin met the night air. Her back was the only part of her that still remembered warmth, but it was so insufficient, surrounded on all sides by a cold that was patient and very thorough. She could feel the way her thoughts had started to simplify as the exhaustion slowly consumed her.

‘I am not afraid of this,’ she told herself.

It was a lie.

Ram was afraid. If the temperature continued to fall, if her body ran out of the last reserves, it was burning through right now just to keep her functional—

She thought about Rem. The room back at the manor, the slow and steady rhythm of her sleeping sister, the way she'd looked the last time Ram had sat beside her bed in the late evening and simply been there. She hadn't told anyone how often she did that.

She thought about Emilia—that ridiculous, earnest, thoroughly impossible girl who was going to change the world through sincerity alone and who deserved to have someone like Ram there to see it happen and congratulate her.

She thought, because she was apparently in the business of honest accounting tonight, about Subaru. 

Before he appeared in her life, she had nothing but Roswaal in her life. Sure, most likely she also had Rem, and her little sister was bound to be just as precious to her. But those memories were stolen from Ram, leaving only years where Roswaal was the only reason for her to exist. Back then, if it was for his sake, she would’ve accepted death without regrets, happy to serve her beloved master until the very end. If she died with Roswaal saying to her how useful she was to him, she would’ve died happy.

Then Barusu came, and with his undesirable grandeur, gave her life so many more things to cherish. He let her know of her little sister, about the chance to bring memories of her back. He turned Emilia into a master she considered worthy of serving. He even made Garfiel go out and grow as a person. 

All of this and so much more made her want to live! This Ram did not want to die.

He gave her almost a year's worth of moments she never planned to accumulate. She had not told him; she never told him, perhaps she would never tell him how thoroughly he had rearranged the furniture of her world simply by refusing to be manageable. 

How much she feared not having the chance to go on and not tell him for longer.

‘If only,’ she thought, with the black humor of someone who could still appreciate irony even at the end of her warmth—if only I could just ask him.’

But her pride was load-bearing. Without it she was just a girl sitting in the dark, shaking, wanting someone to hold her close. And that was a thing Ram did not know how to be.

So she endured.

Then Subaru moved.

She felt him shift his weight and felt the warmth at her back suddenly absent as he stood. Worry moved through her faster than the cold had, a sharp and immediate thing: 'Something is wrong, something has happened. He heard something outside—’

She lifted her head, opened her mouth to ask—

And he sat back down.

But not the way he'd been sitting before. He was facing the same direction as her now, and his legs pressed in on either side of her as his arms came around her from behind. It was not tentative or apologetic, his movements were deliberate. He pulled her back against his chest and held her there, and just like that, with no preamble and even permission asked, she was surrounded and cuddled by him.

Then she found her voice.

"What," Ram said, with the careful enunciation of a woman marshaling every remaining resource she had in the direction of outrage, "do you think you are doing?"

"Warming you up," Subaru said, from somewhere above and behind her head, with the absolute calm of someone who has calculated that he is already committed and may as well be comfortable about it. "You are shaking, and—"

"Ram was doing no such thing."

"Ram. I could feel it through my spine."

"Then your spine is defective, you absolute degenerate. All this time behaving yourself and waiting for an opportunity, and this is when you choose to finally act on your depraved impulses? In a cave? When we are both naked? Ram must admit, you’ve played the role of a good boy splendidly."

"I am," Subaru said humbly.

“Ram’s going to make your life exceptionally unpleasant for the next several days, mark her words. As soon as she gets home, rests, and has a few dozen cups of coff, she is going to be genuinely terrible to Barusu in retribution for this entire situation.”

Perhaps her words would seriously scare Subaru if not for the fact that all throughout her angry rant she was snuggling to him as close as she could. She even pulled his arms tighter around herself. The irony was not lost on the young man.

Slowly she started to feel warmer by the second; the cold was retreating from her body. Her teeth stopped clattering, and the trembling was already less.

"First thing in the morning, Ram will neuter you for your arrogance, Barusu. She hopes you are prepared. Also, she’ll most likely bash your head until you lose all memories of touching Ram inappropriately."

"I figured as much."

“Pervert,” she stated in her usual tone.

“Whatever rocks your boat, I guess," he said with an apologetic smile evident in his voice.

"You will be silent now."

He obediently remained silent.

"And you will not speak of this to anyone."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good." She resettled her weight, just slightly, into a more efficient position. "Now be quiet. Ram intends to sleep."

"Understood," Subaru said. She could hear, somewhere behind the appropriate gravity in his voice, that he was smiling very wide. "Sleep well, Ram."

She did not say anything else. She also did not move away from him. She was so relieved by the warmth that she didn't trust herself to think about it directly. So she didn't. She found the edge of sleep instead and let it take her. And with it she also carried the sound of rain, the weight of arms around her, and the single, quiet, unspoken thought she had no intention of saying aloud:

‘Don't let go, Barusu.’

***

The next morning was pale and still. The storm was finally gone. Ram woke to the familiar, leaden ache of depleted mana, accompanied by a suspiciously bright disposition—a mood  so good she immediately distrusted it. 

She unwillingly extricated herself from the warm embrace of Subaru’s hands with careful, measured movements and checked her leg. The oni blood worked through the night, and now she was ready to move by herself. She stood up and went to check on her clothes. They were still damp but dry enough to endure. 

After dressing up, she turned back. Subaru was still sleeping while sitting and looked just as awkward as she used to see him. She couldn’t help but smile warmly at this stupid sight. 

“Barusu, it’s morning already. Stop being lazier then Frederica when she thinks no one sees her and wake up," she said with her snarky attitude back in full force – a telltale sign she was feeling great. Yet the useless knight-butler showed no signs of stirring.

“Barusu! Ram just told you to wake up.” 

She crouched beside him and put a hand to his shoulder to wake him. She withdrew it immediately. He was burning hot.

Frowning, she pressed the cool back of her hand against his forehead. The heat radiating from his skin was fierce, making the reason for his profound, unnatural lethargy evident. 

"Barusu," she said, trying to shake him awake with rapidly growing worry. "Barusu!"

Nothing. She pulled up his face. It was red from fever, but his breathing, at least, was stable. No one was watching them, so she allowed herself to show an open and deep anxiety and hug him tenderly, pressing his hod forehead to her cool neck. 

“Yesterday Ram had been the one unable to move on her own and had to be carried. This time, apparently, our roles had been reversed. "You've always been foolish with how you choose your rewards, Barusu," she said quietly.

She dressed him up, then closed her eyes and let her clairvoyance rise through a hawk circling above the treeline until she found smoke, rooftops, fields. Northeast. A few hours on foot. Just like they planned. If not for that damned rainstorm, they would’ve gotten there yesterday even before the night settled. But it was pointless to lament about this now, and Ram hated doing pointless things.

She came back to herself, pulled Subaru forward by the shoulders, and worked him onto her back. He was heavier than her in every rational sense, but he was just a human while she was an oni.

She walked out of the cave and turned northeast, carrying him through the forest.

"When you wake up," she muttered to herself with a dreamy smile, "you will be so embarrassed. To make a delicate maiden like Ram carry Barusu for hours, while you may have even drooled on her shoulder—Ram has elected not to check. What an absolute disaster to your unexisting manliness. You will remember this for years, because Ram will remind you of it every time."

And when, many hours later, the fever broke—when she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead and found it cool—she would be relieved, enormously and unforgivably, and she would not be mentioning it. 

The following hours were a blur in the peach-haired girl’s memory. Ram has reached the village, convinced its headman they were not a threat, and secured a room. The local healer came and said the fever was nothing dangerous if the patient is given the right herbs, rest, and lots of fluids for two or three days. Most of her time Ram spent nearby, tending for Subaru and patiently waiting for their camp's arrival.

The carriage arrived on the second day of their stay in the village, with Emilia, Beatrice, and Garfiel being the rescue team. Subaru met them at the door, upright and pale but already very lively. The road back to the manor was completely uneventful. 

***

Her old bed was a very welcoming site after a few days of an unplanned ‘vacation’ to the south with Subaru. She was very much looking forward to a long night, spent on a soft mattress with a cool pillow and a warm blanket. When she first lay down, she felt at the height of blissfulness. Everything was just the way she liked and came to miss in the recent days.

However, this pleasant feeling was short-lived. After the initial effect wore off, she started to feel a strange sense of discomfort. More precisely, it was a chill that started creeping up her body.

At first, Ram dismissed it as a lingering sickness Barusu might have passed on to her. 

‘How utterly predictable of him,’ she thought with a mental scowl. Ram simply reached for an extra blanket, fully intending to let a night of deep, restorative sleep cure whatever mild ailment was plaguing her. 

Yet the cold didn’t go away. Even a third blanket failed to change the situation, though it did help her arrive at a much more frustrating conclusion: this cold was not of the material world. 

She sat on her bed, wrapped in her blanket, pondering about why she was trembling, almost as if she was back in that dark cave. Her body was undeniably warm, yet inside she felt tangible discomfort. Her subconscious was yearning for warmth, but not the warmth of her own body beneath comfortable blankets.

Suddenly, a vivid memory surfaced in her mind: two strong arms wrapping around her, cuddling her against a solid chest. Along with the memory came the phantom sensation of his skin against hers, and echoing feeling of his radiant warmth. She understood what was going on and that infuriated her to no end because of how embarrassing and unreachable her desire felt.

‘How did it come to this?! What am I even going to do now?! It's not like I can just go to him and…’

‘And why not?’ 

The thought popped into her head of its own accord. After everything that happened, haven’t they become closer than he ever was with Emilia? Has he ever come close to cuddling her bare frame like he did brazenly with Ram? Most unlikely! 

If anything, this entire predicament was totally Barusu’s fault. He was the one who shamelessly cuddled Ram, manhandled her with his big strong hands, and gave her so much precious warmth without even asking her permission! Therefore, it was only natural to make him take responsibility for his own scandalous actions! 

All of a sudden the situation stopped looking so hopeless. With her determination renewed and with a tad bit more enthusiasm one would expect from a fair and pure maiden, Ram threw off her heavy blankets and marched purposefully toward the room where one Natsuki Subaru was sleeping. 

***

There he was. In his bed. Sleeping like a log. A shameless, selfish log, hoarding all the warmth for himself. He even turned on his back and put one arm under the pillow, leaving the quietly snoring Beatrice lying on his other hand without being cuddled.

‘He has so much warmth and won’t even give a fraction of it to his own spirit? How utterly selfish! Someone has to make him share!’ Ram thought, looking at the bed with her fists closed. 

Even if she was determined to get what she wanted, the action she was going to take was quite audacious, so she needed to prepare herself.

"Hm…Ram…leave some coff for me too, will’ya?” The young man suddenly muttered in his sleep with a content smile. Apparently he was having a good dream. As he should, if she was indeed in it, against her will.

Ram definitely did not expect him to be dreaming about her like that, however, but she would be lying if she said she found it undesirable.

“Barusu, you are absolutely hopeless. Apparently, pestering Ram during the day is not enough for you anymore? Now she’s the victim of your harassment even in your dreams?” She whispered with exaggeration and a smug smile. For his fantasies just gave her a perfect excuse she did not know she needed. “There is a price to pay for such audacity.”

A few short steps and one rustle of the blanket later, Ram was positioning herself near Subaru’s sleeping frame. He was just as warm as she remembered, just the way she wanted. A minute later, she was feeling the cold dissipating. 

Ram snuggled closely to his left side, hugged him with her arm, and put her head on his shoulder, savoring the heat.

A few moments after she got comfortable, Subaru opened his eyes slightly, and his semi-conscious gaze fell on her.

“Mhm…Ram? You’re here? Wha-?” He barely voiced his confusion before she shut him with a single finger on his lips.

“Shhh, Barusu. That’s just your wildest dream come true. Go back to sleep. No one will believe you anyway,” she answered, not even lifting her head.

“Mhm… Sure, sweet dreams, Ram.”

To make her great situation outright blissful, he even wrapped his left arm around her, making the now warmed girl completely satisfied. This was the good night’s sleep she truly wanted to have after their little adventure.

"Don't worry," Ram said into his collarbone, eyes already closed. "Ram is already there." 

Right before the sleep took over, Ram thought that she wouldn’t mind spending the night like this again…and many more times after that. She filed this thought away carefully on the growing list of things Ram would not be mentioning to Barusu.

Or anyone.

Ever.

The sun was kind today. It shone brightly, yet it wasn’t too hot, however that might be just the season. She opened her window and the wind blew gently, making her curtains dance. She wanted to stay in this room and enjoy the wind cascading around her. So she sat by the window, for what had been an hour or maybe two. 

It’s not like there was much to do. The work had been lighter today. Barusu was on a trip and would not return for a few more days. Roswaal-sama was also out for the day. 

It didn’t matter as much to her. While she could admit in the privacy of her own mind that she missed Barusu when he wasn’t around, they had been spending a lot of time together as of late. If she were really honest with herself, it left her feeling much lighter. They would share coff in the morning, do afternoon chores, and sometimes even take walks in the evening. 

Not to mention Ram snuck into his bedroom at least once a week by this point. It’s been almost a month since this nightly ritual began and neither of them commented on it, but it still felt special. It still warmed her even when there was no chill in the air. 

She just wished he had stuck around a little longer, given what day it was. After her village was destroyed, she was always alone on her birthday. She remembered being happy with what she had, yet something felt different this year. 

What was different? The pinkette couldn’t figure it out.

Now that she thought about it, Ram wouldn’t have been alone. Rem would have been by her side too, as Rem should have grown up alongside her sister. She wondered how those birthdays had been, given she was sharing the holiday with her twin. 

Sure, Roswaal-sama gave his congratulations, but there was never a big party that she could ever recall. 

At least until last year, when Barusu showed up.

By then, he was no stranger and Ram at that time had no interest in Barusu as a man. Yet still, it would be a lie to say she didn’t enjoy what he had made for her. She probably still had it around here somewhere.

Circumstances would not allow it this year again, it seemed. 

A knock on the door broke Ram free of the thoughts she had slipped into. Blinking away the fog, she noticed the sun was about to set soon. How long had she been sitting there alone in her memories and daydreams?

“Coming.” She answered, moving away from the window and, towards the door. Once she opened the door, she was greeted by the sight of a familiar young maid with orange hair and a signature red ribbon. maid with a short stature and orange hair. 

“Ram Nee-sama—oh, you look wonderful!”

Ram was taken aback by Petra’s strange observation for a moment. “What do you mean? Ram is always wonderful.”

“Of course!” Petra giggled good-naturedly, her eyes practically glimmering with adoration. “I’m sorry, I just mean you seem happier lately. It makes you even more beautiful!”

“...Ram appreciates the compliment. Thank you, Petra.”

Ram was glad that things between her and Petra were much better. For a short while there, it seemed like the girl was jealous of Ram after Barusu gave her that flower. Now it seemed like it was all but forgotten, which was a good thing. Petty, doomed rivalries were not Ram’s style. 

“Ah, but now, Frederica Nee-sama is calling you to the dining room.” Petra said, snapping out of her daze. “She needs your help with something. Yeah, and it’s something big. I can’t really say now, but yeah, come quick!” 

“Ram is sure Frederica and Petra can handle—”

“—NO NEE-SAMA!” Petra put the full force of her palms to grab Ram’s arms, and pulled her closer.

Ram blinked, completely taken aback by Petra’s insistence. She frowned and gave the girl a half-hearted glare. Whatever was cutting into her rest had better be worth it, but first…

“Unhand Ram this instant. She does not recall giving you permission to manhandle her.” The pink oni warned, causing the younger maid to release her with a nervous giggle. 

“U-Uh, sorry, Nee-sama, but we really need you! It’s important that you find Frederica as soon as possible!” Petra’s words tumbled out quickly, as if she were searching for excuses to try Ram’s patience. 

“Ram doesn’t wish to-”

“---NEE-SAMA!” Petra jumped behind Ram and audaciously began to push her out of her own bedroom. “Please, just hurry! There is no time! It might even be a matter of life and death!”

“Might?” Ram deadpanned, then sighed. “Oh very well, but you will stop pushing Ram immediately!”

Petra did, smiling sweetly as a small bead of sweat rolled down her reddening right cheek. The girl then began walking ahead of Ram, forcing her to follow lest she be left behind. 

Ram had no idea what was going on, but it had Petra in a tizzy. The flustered girl kept looking over her shoulder to make sure Ram hadn’t vanished in a puff of smoke and smiling excitedly. Whatever this was, Ram had a funny feeling it wasn’t as urgent as Petra was making it out to be. 

This smells of shenanigans, she thought as the ghost of a smile graced her lips. Typical, but no matter. She’ll deal with it swiftly.

Part of her wouldn’t mind if it was another unexpected teleportation gone wrong, but Barusu wasn’t here to muck anything up. If he was, she would have scolded him regardless for involving Ram. The thought of scolding that mean-eyed man breathed life into her ghostly smile, making it real. 

Which only seemed to make Petra more nervous. 

This can’t be good…

They reached the dining room’s double doors. Both were unexpectedly closed. Being the first one to reach them, Petra made it as if to open them. She ‘tugged’ and ‘tugged’, but nothing happened.

Nothing happened because she wasn’t even trying, Ram noticed. 

“Uh-oh, Nee-sama, the doors! They’re stuck, heh. Want to see if you can open them for me?” Petra asked like the terrible actress she was. “Please? We have to hurry!”

Right.

Ram stepped forward and gently pushed the girl out of the way, “Stand aside, then. Ram shall demonstrate her superior strength.”

“Oh, please do!”

The Oni Goddess takes both handles into her hands and gives it a ‘firm’ pull, opening them with laughable ease to reveal something strange. 

The room was completely dark, as if someone had pulled all the curtains shut and snuffed every light source. 

Ram narrowed her eyes. Something wasn’t right, yet she didn’t feel in danger. Was this some sort of prank?

Surely not, though the smells wafting up to her nose were certainly tantalizing. Pranks were rarely delicious so she felt somewhat safe. Somewhat. 

Taking a few steps inside, Ram tried to let her ruby eyes adjust to the low light. 

They didn’t get the time to.

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAM!” The loudest cocaphony of voices exploded from within the room at the same moment the room became fully illuminated once more and her vision was filled with every color she could imagine. 

Ram nearly whipped out her wand on instinct, but thankfully managed not to once she realized that the crowd of figures standing before her and grinning like fools amongst the colorful rainfall were her friends and fellow members of the Emilia camp. Her wide, crimson eyes took in their faces one by one as she tried to slow her racing heartbeat. 

Emilia stood at the forefront, smiling and clapping daintily with glimmering amethyst eyes. Next to her was Otto, who had his hands resting on the back of a chair. On the other side of the table was Frederica, who stood completely composed yet grinning with joy. Beatrice stood in front of her, smiling with genuine happiness. Then there were the two in front, practically throwing their arms in the air, shouting, and competing for center stage: Subaru and Garfiel, who apparently threw a multitude of paper confetti scraps into the air at her head upon the door opening. 

Then behind her, Petra cheered and joined in their chorus. 

“Haha, gotcha, Ram!” Garfiel laughed as he practically shoved Subaru over with a palm to his face. “Ya shoulda seen yer face!”

Perhaps he was right, because no doubt she was covered in bits of pink, yellow, red, blue, and white. Brushing her hair with her fingers, Ram quickly composed herself. “Ram is too amazing to be surprised by the likes of you!”

“Uh-huh, riiiiight.” Said a certain dark-haired butler who was climbing to his feet again, still grinning and chuckling to himself as he dusted off his rear. 

Ram’s eyes fell to his face and stayed there. 

“Let Ram guess: this was your doing, wasn’t it, Barusu?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Heh, not really. I may have come up with the idea, but I couldn’t have done it without everyone’s help!”

“Oh? Is Barusu so incompetent he could not pull off a simple birthday surprise on his own?” She jabbed, smiling softly to show she was actually pleased. It was a total Barusurprise.

“Eh?! What, no thank you for remembering your birthday?!” Subaru theatrically complained, causing everyone to laugh at his expense. 

Honestly, Ram took in the room with appreciative eyes. The table was filled with both strange and familiar favorites, all of them smelling heavenly. In the center was an elegant three-tiered cake, one so perfect it had to have been professionally made. 

Spaced evenly between the various dishes were four crystal vases, each housing a bouquet of roses that Ram recognized as being the same kind from the field Barusu and her had passed on their ‘date’. The tablecloth beneath them was the good linen, something Frederica would have to approve before being used for the party. 

A little banner made of yarn and carefully cut paper hung across the ceiling, no doubt homemade. It read ‘Happy Birthday, Ram’ in colorful assortments that caught the eye. That explained the confetti. 

Ram felt the silly smile on her face, but she found that she didn’t mind. Not today, at least. Today was proving to be special already. 

“Thank you, everyone. Ram was not expecting this.” She said with earnest appreciation and a curtsey. 

“Natsuki-san deserves the most thanks,” Otto chimed in, gesturing to the man in question. “He spent months planning this for you.”

Ram blinked. 

Wait… what?

“Indeed.” Frederica added. “Subaru asked Lady Beatrice and I to assist him in the kitchen. He wanted to perfect the recipes for today’s dinner and create a truly special birthday cake for you.”

“Betty didn’t mind, in fact!” The Great Spirit said with a smile. “All those different fruit combinations made for perfect research material.”

“You mean ‘snacks for Beako’,” Subaru teased, making Beatrice huff. 

Ram looked between the three of them as everyone laughed at the lighthearted teasing, but especially Subaru. She remembered how Subaru left with Emilia and Lady Beatrice and returned with a bag of various fruits plus a single flower for her. This had been what he was planning to do with them?

The roses in the vases. The cake. The delicious smell of the food. The warmth of everyone’s happiness. All of it was meant for her, a gift in and of itself. 

Given to her by the efforts of a single idiot. 

Skip. 

Ram felt her cheeks blossom with color and her eyes soften involuntarily. 

Barusu grinned and offered her his hand, “Here, let me show you what all we made for your birthday dinner!”

She wasn’t going to accept being led anywhere by him. Then again, he had gone to all this trouble. He also was the one her eyes kept drinking in, so maybe… 

Just this once, she thought as she laid her hand in his.

Barusu took her to the table, gesturing to everything with a grand sweep of his free arm. She couldn’t help but notice his own cheeks were red with embarrassment. Good.

“So I made a few dishes for this meal, with Freddie and Beako’s help. The cake, then there’s some warm soup. Fried rice and steamed tatoes for the entrées, and then a side dish that I made called er, what was it called again, Fal…el…afel? That thing.” Subaru pointed to the dish, which contained a curiously round fried ball of some kind. 

The closer she got to said dish, it was obvious that one of the most potent aromas that caught her attention was coming from there. It was also conveniently placed beside a dish of Subaru’s favorite condiment, the holy mayonnaise. 

Ram glanced in the direction of the plate in fascination. “Ram has never seen such a dish before. The other items are familiar, but this is something new. I suppose this is another one of your Barusu local dishes. What did you say it was again?”

Subaru looked like he was struggling to get his brain to drudge up the pertinent information, but he was also still holding Ram’s hand. She secretly hoped that was the reason why his brain refused to function right now, and not for the typical reasons. 

“Oh yeah, I remember now, it’s a Falafe—” He tried to explain.

At that moment, Ram’s stomach betrayed her and growled. Just as it began an audible demand, she cut him off to hide her embarrassment.

“A Falal! Right. It looks lovely.” She raised an eyebrow at the flustered young man, enjoying how adorable it was. “Now, aren’t you going to pull the chair out for Ram so that she may enjoy her dinner?”

“R-Right!”

He did so without a single jab. What a good boy he was. She’ll have to reward him later. 

They all sat down, but Subaru sat directly beside her with Beatrice on his other side. That made Ram happy. As everyone began to plate their food, Ram grabbed the tongs and went after the Falal first.  

“Barusu… this is the first time you’ve made this here, correct?” She asked as she placed a dollop of mayo on her plate beside the mouthwatering treats. 

He nodded as he loaded up on the white condiment. “Well, I had Frederica’s help—but yeah, first time successfully making and serving one today!” 

“That counts enough for Ram, a new dish debuting on her birthday.” Ram speared the item with a fork and took a bite.

Her eyes lit up and she took another bite, relishing it, before setting down her empty fork. 

All the while, Subaru and the others were watching her intently for her reaction. 

“So? Did you like it? Was all the beta-tasting worth it?” Subaru asked with crossed fingers. 

She smiled and patted at her delicate lips with a napkin.

“Happy Birthday, Falal!” Ram proclaimed with a most genuine smile. 

The rest of the room’s occupants cheered along with her, “Happy Birthday, Falal!”

Dinner was a huge success, with everyone enjoying every bit. The cake itself was also delicious. As they tasted it, Subaru recounted the various failed attempts and near pyrotechnic displays it took to finally get the recipes right. They laughed together until it was getting rather late. 

As everyone began gathering the dishes, Subaru touched Ram’s shoulder to get her attention. 

“Hey, uh, Ram? Mind if we take a walk?”

“My, skipping out on the clean up, Barusu?” She teased, knowing it’d get him. Not that she wanted to work on her birthday, but still. 

“What? No, I-!”

“Go on, you two!” Emilia encouraged them as she, too, assisted with the clean up. 

“We’ve got this!” Petra said as she loaded up plates and flexed an arm to emphasize they could handle this.

That was good enough for Ram. Both of them began to leave the room, but were drawn back when Garfiel called out, “Good luck, Cap’n!”

Whatever that was supposed to mean. 

Subaru led her out the front doors and into the courtyard. It was chilly tonight and Ram hadn’t worn a coat. It reminded her of when they had been teleported into the wilderness. Taking a page from that book, Ram just walked with her arm pressed against Subaru’s side to siphon off his body heat. She could withstand it for a short jaunt, surely, so long as he was there to warm her. 

They didn’t go far. Once outside, Ram’s eyes were drawn to the night sky. The stars shone beautifully this clear night. 

When she looked towards Subaru, she found he had been staring at her the whole time. 

“You know…” He began, looking uncomfortable. “I really have enjoyed spending all this time with you.”

Ram smirked. “You drag Ram out into the cold night, alone, just to tell her that? Careful, Barusu. Someone might get the wrong idea.”

He chuckled and scratched his cheek with a finger, his face red and hot despite the cold night air. 

“Actually… It’s not the wrong idea.”

Skip.

Ram felt her breath catch, her eyes going wide. What was going on? 

There was no way that…

“Barusu? What nonsense are you spouting?”

“It’s not nonsense!” He protested and reached for her. 

Ram felt him take her hand in hers again, taking control as his fingers curled around to encompass her. He felt so warm it made her skin tingle, just like it had made her feel in the cave and later while they slept. It felt…

It felt so wonderful. 

This couldn’t be real, could it? She wasn’t that fortunate. Not in this life. Ram had already made a tentative peace with the fact that, despite Roswaal’s assurances, that the whole world was not open to her.

Especially when the world she wanted was one with Barusu.

Yet her heart swelled with a hope she never let grow. 

“... Barusu?”

“Ram, I…” Subaru said, then cleared his throat as he turned to face her. He locked eyes with her and mustered his courage. Then, he said, “I like you. I have for a long time now. You have always been a good friend to me, but when we saw that field of roses together, I realized something obvious.”

She didn’t move, just blinked up at him and waited for her breath to return to her. 

“I realized that I like you. I mean, that I have feelings for you—more than just friends—” He sighed. “I’m butchering this, aren’t I?”

Then something unexpected happened. 

Ram giggled. 

“Poor Barusu, so hopeless when it comes to women.” Just as his face began to fall, Ram squeezed his hand and stepped forward to press their torso’s together. “Just this once, Ram will thank you personally.”

“H-Huh?”

“Tonight has been wonderful. Ram admits that having Barusu as her constant companion has also been quite pleasant… more so than pleasant.” She smiled, a full smile with teeth and soft ruby eyes. “Ram is waiting, Barusu. Collect your reward, for this will be the only time Ram will make it easy for you.”

The relief on his face was palpable. His grin split the cold night and melted her instantly. To her relief, he didn’t hesitate anymore. 

Subaru leaned forward and claimed his reward, her lips. She felt the butterflies in her stomach go wild and her legs go weak. When Subaru’s arms encircled her waist, she nearly let gravity take her but couldn’t bring herself to end it. Not yet, for her pride and desire would not allow this to end because of her maiden’s heart. Instead, she stood on her tip-toes to properly cement this wonderful feeling into their hearts.

This is what Ram gets for letting her guard down around a Barusu.

When they parted, butler and maid pressed their foreheads together to catch their visible breaths as Ram stole the heat from his body. She shivered, but not just from the cold. Their hearts were hammering in their chests, begging for more.

 “Who exactly was getting a reward here, again?” Subaru jokingly asked. 

Ram smirked and flicked his forehead, “Barusu, of course. As if he were that good of a kisser.”

“Oh?” Subaru grinned, face burning with heat in the cold night air. “You seemed to enjoy it quite a bit!”

“Prove it, then.” Ram said as she pulled away and gave him a teasing cast of her eyes. “Take Ram where it’s warm and we’ll settle this ourselves.”

Subaru’s face went nuclear red as he began to lead her back inside with projected confidence. He was still nervous, still shaking a little, but Ram would work on him. Her new man had done well on his own, so now Ram couldn’t wait for him to make this night even more memorable. 

After all, she gave him his one pass already. It was up to him to be man enough to finish the night properly. Ram was cold and required more of Barusu’s warmth. She would claim his blankets and pillows while he acted as her personal furnace. Then they would wake up the following day, and he could see her beautiful face as soon as his scary eyes opened. 

All the little things would be her gift to him, just as they had been to her. 

Well… maybe not her only gift. 

Happy Birthday, Falal!