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Lukas couldn’t remember the last time he was this bored. He was spending his afternoon half-heartedly throwing a rubber ball into the air and catching it, as he carelessly hummed out of tune with the music in his ears—his and Philip’s playlist, of course.
The corners of his mouth tugged upwards, wondering what Philip was doing. He hadn’t texted Lukas in a while, which usually meant he was developing photos in his new darkroom. Lukas hoped was having a good day. Losing his mom had been hard on him, something that Lukas could relate to.
Lukas sighed, wishing Philip was with him, but he didn’t want to blow up his phone. He had to maintain some semblance of cool.
It used to be when he had nothing to do, he would go riding or hunting. But he had done enough riding today, and after the murders, hunting wasn’t really an option anymore. The last time he went hunting with his dad, he had extensive flashbacks of that night in the cabin, and he’d still been shaking by the time he had gotten home.
His dad was a little disappointed when he revealed to him that he simply couldn’t bear to hunt any longer, but he understood. Having seen unforgettable things while on duty—many things that he wouldn’t even begin to speak of in front of Lukas—Bo was sympathetic to his post-traumatic stress.
Lost in thought, Lukas mistakenly threw the ball a couple feet too high, completely missing it when it came back down. It bounced off his gut and rolled onto the floor. “Shit,” he huffed, too lazy to move. He thumped his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes.
One song ended and transitioned to another and, in the brief silence, he heard a soft voice downstairs. “Hi, Mr. Waldenbeck,” it said. Philip, thank God. Lukas practically ripped the earbuds from his ears and shot up, energy renewed. He could hear Philip coming up the stairs, and he all but raced to open his bedroom door.
He paused with his hand on the doorknob, taking a breath and reminding himself to at least try to be chill. In the end, his eagerness got the better of him, and he wrenched open the door before Philip could so much as knock. When he saw Philip’s mildly surprised face, his heart nearly burst with affection. “Hey,” Lukas greeted coolly.
Philip’s startled expression dissolved into one of soft fondness. “Hi,” he said, stepping forward to pull Lukas into a tight hug.
“What are you doing here?” Lukas asked into Philip’s neck, barely succeeding in keeping the excitement out of his tone.
Philip pulled back and shrugged. “Do I really need a reason?”
“Nope.”
“Hey!” Bo called up to them. “I better not hear that door shut!”
Philip pouted and Lukas rolled his eyes, ushering him in. He looked back at Philip mischievously, pressing a finger to his lips. He turned the doorknob all the way and pushed the door slowly, carefully until it was completely closed. As gently as he released the knob, it was all for naught; there was a click, and Lukas groaned.
“Lukas!” Bo chided.
“Ugh, fine.” He opened the door a crack and turned back to Philip, who was stifling a laugh into his hand.
“Nice one.”
“Shut up,” he retorted, bringing Philip in for a kiss. He took Philip’s bag off his shoulder and set it on the bed, careful not to damage the cameras and film inside. “Up to anything interesting today?” he inquired, sitting on the foot of the bed and patting the spot next to him.
Philip’s eyes glinted and he bit his lip, a tell-tale sign of him attempting to conceal his eagerness. He sat down as close to Lukas as he could get and grabbed his bad, setting it in his lap and rifling through it.
He pulled out a folder and handed it to Lukas, who opened it and let his mouth fall open. “It’s empty. Where did all the pictures go?”
Philip grinned and pulled something else from the bag—a black book. “Sorry I was so busy today. I was making this.”
Lukas raised an eyebrow and took the book from him. He opened the book and, after flipping through the first few pages, he was floored. Each page was covered in Polaroids and printed digital photographs. The margins were riddled with dates, doodles, love notes… “Wow,” he breathed.
“You like it?” Philip asked hopefully.
“This is sick!” Lukas exclaimed, turning the page and revealing a blown-up picture of the two of them kissing, covering the entire page. “This… was taken from your porch.”
Philip blushed. “Yeah, Helen took that one time when you came to pick me up.”
“I can see that,” he chuckled. He continued to flip through it, marveling at the artsy photographs of Tivoli throughout the album. “These are great,” he said, stopping at a picture of the bakery. “But I kinda like the pictures of us better.”
Philip snorted and wrapped an arm around Lukas’s waist. “Sap.”
“Yeah, I’m the sap,” he joked. He turned to a blank page and frowned.
“Oh, it’s not finished yet. I still need a few more…”
“So you’re just here because you need a model?” Lukas smirked.
“No. I just wanted to see you,” he said, glowing.
“Now who’s the sap?”
“Still you.” Philip shoved him away and crawled back to lean against the headboard, and Lukas followed suit. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said softly, pulling Philip against his chest. “I was so bored.”
“Well, what did you usually do before you met me?” Philip asked, tracing circles around the fabric of Lukas’s shirt.
“Uh… I dunno. Hang out with Rose—not happening, obviously.” Philip hummed. “Motocross—but I’ve been riding all day. And my dad and I used to go hunting, but…”
Philip looked up at him questioningly. “But what?”
Lukas shrugged. “I don’t really like it anymore.” He didn’t go into it further, but he could tell Philip understood.
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Philip sat up suddenly. “That’s it.”
Lukas furrowed his brows, disgruntled at his sudden shift in positions. “What?”
Philip looked down at him, smiling. “Take me to your best hunting spot.”
“Babe, no. I don’t like hunting anymore.”
“Babe, yes,” he mimicked. “Just trust me.” He got up and walked into Lukas’s closet, looking for something.
“What are you—oof!” He was struck by one of his camouflage vests landing on his head; Philip held his old one in his hands.
“We’re going,” he said with finality. He leaned over Lukas to reach his bag, pressing a kiss to Lukas’s lips on the way.
“Whatever,” Lukas gave in, standing up. “Didn’t think a city kid like you’d want to go hunting.” The image of Philip in camouflage didn’t even compute.
Philip shouldered his bag and tugged on Lukas’s arm. “Let’s go, farm boy.”
֎
Lukas was relieved that Philip didn’t have him pack anything, unless he was planning to have Lukas teach him to kill deer with his bare hands—in which case, Philip was shit out of luck because Lukas had no idea how to do that.
They carved a familiar trail through the woods and past the quarry, and by the way Philip tensed a bit against him, Lukas could tell he had figured out where they were going.
He slowed the bike to a stop outside his dad’s cabin, and Philip got off so Lukas could park it. Philip took his helmet off and shook out his hair, already looking uncomfortable. “What are we doing here? I thought we were going to—“
“Chill, dude,” Lukas cut him off, pulling off his own helmet. “I’m just leaving the bike here. We can’t just ride up to the deer, they’ll get freaked out.”
“Oh,” Philip said sheepishly.
Lukas smoothed out his hair. “You want anything from inside?” he asked Philip, gesturing toward the door. Philip immediately shook his head, clearly uneasy at the idea of either of them going inside. “Then let’s get going.”
They walked a worn path further into the woods until the tinkling sound of a stream reached their ears.
“We’re getting close,” Lukas said in a hushed voice. “Watch your step,” he warned Philip, stepping over a particularly large tree root. The warning came a second too late, and Philip tripped over it awkwardly. Lukas was on him in an instant, grabbing him by the forearms and hoisting him up before he could hit the ground.
“Thanks,” Philip muttered, glaring at the offending root.
“Hey man, this was your idea. Don’t go blaming nature for your fuck-up,” Lukas snickered.
Philip shoulder-bumped him in response, and Lukas reached down to take his hand, not missing the way Philip’s cheeks pinked at the gesture. If Philip were to ask, Lukas would tell him it was just so he wouldn’t trip again, but truthfully, he liked the feel of Philip’s hand in his.
Once the stream was in sight, they halted. “This is it,” Lukas whispered.
“So, what do we do?” Philip asked, tilting his head and scanning the area.
“Wait. And listen.”
Philip smirked. “What, no deer calls?”
“Do I look like frickin’ Bear Grylls to you? Just be patient, dude.”
Philip had to stifle a laugh. “Didn’t think you’d have the patience for this kind of thing, Mr. ‘I-Can’t-Wait-Thirty-Seconds-For-A-Polaroid.’”
Lukas rolled his eyes, smiling. “Whatever. Probably won’t be too long; they come to drink from this stream all the time.” At that, Philip’s eyes got brighter and he bit his lip, trying to contain his enthusiasm. “So, what’s your plan here?”
Philip grinned and took his DSLR camera out of his bag—not Tommy’s old one; Philip had returned that to Tommy’s parents, so Gabe and Helen bought him a new one as a gift. “We’re gonna shoot some deer.”
Lukas raised his eyebrows and huffed a laugh. “Wow.”
“Yup.” He dug into his bag and pulled out another camera—his Polaroid. “You take some too. I got new film this morning.”
Lukas took the camera hesitantly. “Waste of film, letting me use this thing.”
Philip shrugged—he didn’t seem to mind. At the sound of twigs breaking, Philip quietly hurried behind a tree, positioning his camera. He was so focused, like a switch had flipped inside him. Philip let out a hushed gasp, and Lukas turned to see a doe approaching the stream.
There was the click, click, click of the shutter going off as the doe bent down to take a drink. The animal was a sight to behold, but Lukas couldn’t take his eyes off Philip. Lukas raised the Polaroid to his eye and snapped a picture of him, wasting no time in retrieving the photo and watching it develop.
Lukas looked up to see if Philip had noticed the flash, but he was still wrapped up in his own photography. Turning his attention back to the still-developing picture in his hands, he smiled. It was sure to turn out well; Philip looked too good for it not to.
He beamed at the image once it fully formed. This would be going in the album for sure. The sun was shining down on Philip, reflecting off his wavy hair and brightening the greens of the camouflage; green was very much his color. The muted colors gave it an old-timey quality that made Lukas want to look at it forever; he almost forgot there was a work of art right in front of him.
He heard Philip gasp again in wonderment and hiss, “Lukas, look!”
Lukas’s head snapped up to see a feeble, spotted fawn nearing the doe, shaking its fluffy white tail as it sniffed the water. Philip was snapping dozens of pictures within seconds, and Lukas took this as his cue to take some of his own. The doe raised her head in confusion when the flash went off, but she didn’t spot either of them behind their trees, so she nipped the fawn on the ear and went back to drinking.
Philip’s smile was so wide it threatened to split his face open. Lukas had to admit, the deer were pretty cute. It was strange; if he’d come here with a gun in his hand, those deer would be wasted in seconds. But here he was, snapping pictures of Bambi by a stream with his boyfriend.
Six months ago, he never would have imagined himself in this position. He felt grateful. Philip had come into his life and quietly burrowed into the back of his mind. He had turned Lukas’s world on its head without much more than making eye contact in class. Lukas’s heart made him introduce himself to Philip, his mind kicking and screaming all the way.
Sitting there, watching Philip glow in a way he hadn’t since his mom died, Lukas realized he could not have been more thankful that he had listened to his heart. Slowly, deftly, Lukas pocketed the Polaroids and stood up. He tiptoed over behind Philip, kneeling down and circling his arms around him. He rested his chin on Philip’s shoulder, sighing happily.
Philip turned his attention from the camera to Lukas, leaning back into the embrace. “Get any good ones?” he whispered.
Lukas shrugged. “At least one.” He kissed Philip’s jaw. “I like this. It’s better than just shooting them.”
“I hoped you’d think so,” Philip replied, pleased. “You wanna head back?”
“Nah,” he answered, shaking his head. “We can keep taking pictures. You haven’t even seen a buck yet.”
Philip grinned. “Oh, man.”
Lukas doubted they would be lucky enough to see a buck today too, but he wanted to stay out with Philip a little longer. He nuzzled Philip’s neck, exhaling. “I really like you, ya know.”
“Really? That’s so embarrassing.” He could hear Philip’s smile in his voice.
“Shut up,” Lukas said, gently shoving him. “You had a crush on me first.”
“Sure I did. ‘Hey, Philip. My dad has a secluded cabin with a bed in the middle of the woods, let’s go!’” Philip mocked.
Lukas had to stop himself from laughing out loud. “When did you get so mean?”
Philip rolled his eyes playfully and went back to taking pictures, which gave Lukas an idea.
“Hold that pose, babe,” Lukas said, holding the polaroid out to take a picture of the two of them. He could feel Philip glaring at him as it printed.
“We’re supposed to be capturing the deer,” he complained.
“Oh, whatever.” When the photo finished developing, Lukas threw an arm around Philip’s shoulders and showed him. “See, look. You look totally hot.”
Philip bit his cheek the way he did when he tried not to blush. “So, the deer.” And Philip went back to doing what he did best: taking pictures and driving Lukas wild while doing it.
They went on like that, peaceful and playful, until there were no more deer to shoot. On the way back to the bike, Philip excitedly showed Lukas all the pictures he took, and Lukas knew that this would not be their last time “hunting.”